Okay, so, the holidays come in a neat little clump at the end of the year called "Stress Time" for me because, WOW, three holidays one after the other (That does NOT include Halloween because Halloween is AMAZING) and it would have been too much for me to update each month because I get really busy during the holidays (family and stuff and…other stuff). So anyways, I decided that I would do the holiday parts all in one big update so yay, three pats for you guys to read.

…Long parts. Ha, apology for the length. But yeah, it refused to die until it was completely finished.

And I was FINALLY able to edit it completely~

Warning! There is a small bit of jokes about religions about such but nothing too horrible, and it shouldn't offend anyone. I just wanted to play around a little and it definitely worked. So just remember that no offense was meant and have fun.

Disclaimer: As said before, Yu-Gi-Oh is NOT mine.

The Distraction Thanksgiving Dilemma

"Yami! Yami! Yami!"

The teen spun around just in time to brace himself as his boyfriend collided with him, backing up a step but catching him regardless, a smile instantly crossing his face at the touch of Yugi's body warmth. "Hey little one, what's up?"

Yugi pulled back, tugging on his uniform sleeves excitedly and jumping slightly on the balls of his feet, eyes bright and shining. "You…"

Yami nodded with a confused look. "I…"

"Are…"

"Am…"

"Coming…"

"…I wasn't aware I was aroused. Must be my Yugi-senses tingling."

The small teen recoiled, releasing his sleeves, and looked over his shoulder before turning back with wide eyes. "Tea said earlier that she had Yugi-senses so she knew when I was about to scare her…"

"Oh dear Ra…"

"Wow. I make you hard and her wet. I'm like…a sex god!"

The taller teen snickered in amusement but nodded regardless. "Yes. You are."

"Awesome. I make everyone hard or wet!"

He choked on his laughter. "Don't say that out loud, aibou!"

"But…I like it."

"Yes, because what's not to like?" he snickered. "Just don't go cheating on me."

"Of course not!" Yugi objected immediately.

"Good. Now what was it you wanted to talk about?"

"Talk a…? Oh! You are coming with me to celebrate Thanksgiving with Rebecca!"

"I am…what…?"

"Please, Yami? I don't want to go without you and Rebecca wanted to get the chance to meet my sexually deviant delinquent boyfriend…"

Yami felt his cheeks heat violently in embarrassment, somewhat humiliated but oddly proud all at once. "I…dear Ra, that's a massive ass title."

"Nothing you aren't living up to."

"Have you…ever done that thing in class where you notice you've stopped paying attention so you try to focus but then you're so focused on trying to focus that you're still not paying attention to what they're saying?" Yugi mumbled, eyes wide as he looked at Yami with a sheepish expression.

His boyfriend's head snapped towards him, eyes growing owlish as he whispered back, "Why are you getting spiritual with me?"

Yugi pushed his shoulder and glared. "I'm serious, Yami, I don't know what the hell is going on anymore!"

The other teen raised a brow. "And you think I do now? You just fucking connected with my soul and you think I know what's going on?"

"Stop teasing me!" he cried, biting his lip. "I seriously don't know what's going on!"

"Well how would I know when my soul just got touched?"

"Please tell me it was in an appropriate way," Yugi blurted out, somehow managing to keep himself quiet enough that the teacher didn't turn around though several students looked over in confusion.

"What kind of barbarian do you take me for?" Yami hissed, voice growing playful as his eyes gleamed. "Of course it was appropriate! We just connected spiritually and—nope, there it goes. Now my soul is being tainted."

"Yami!"

"Ooh, oh my Ra, the connection!"

"Mister Sennen, Mister Motou…?"

Yugi squeaked out, "He's being a pervert!" while Yami started laughing and the other students snickered; the teacher smiled a little, shaking his head, and turned away again. The two of them were his best students so it had never been much of a surprise that they got away with anything they wanted for the most part; they could chatter and mess around and joke and blurt out random things and the teacher let it happen.

"What else is new?" someone else snickered and Yugi blushed before glaring at his boyfriend who stroked his fingers down his arm, tickling him.

"Stop that!"

"No, I'm bored and I'll touch you all I want to!"

"Yami, can you explain to the class what—?"

"When I was younger I pronounced 'hors d'oeuvres' as 'horse divorce'," the taller teen cut him off, staring at the teacher with large, innocent eyes. "I also did that on accident a week ago and my mom is still teasing me about it. My life is hard, okay? So I would appreciate it if you didn't interrupt me tickling my boyfriend just so that you can explain again that no one needs to overdo the task of pricking their finger for the project. I mean, do you have a knife in here somewhere? Am I supposed to use that instead? Because just freaking pricking my finger should not cause this much concern for everyone around me."

"Some of you are just too immature to not be worried about," the teacher said, giving him a pointed look with his brow raised while Yami smirked and Yugi groaned, covering his face with his hands.

"True."

"Our souls just fucked!" Yugi blurted out, covering his mouth and groaning before ducking his head behind the desk as the rest of the room burst out laughing and the teacher smiled a little too widely in amusement; that boy had to be the highlight of the school day.

"Ooh, you felt it too!"

"Soulgasms!"

"Yes!"

Yugi made a whining noise in the back of his throat and moved to press his face into Yami's side, hissing, "This is your fault!"

"Your soul molested mine first!"

"Soulestation!"

"Ooh, so technical!"

"All right, you two," the teacher snickered, clearing his throat to keep his laughter out of his voice. "Calm down. We still have an hour's worth of learning to go. Try to contain your perverseness Yami, and you try to stop your outbursts, Yugi."

Yami opened his mouth to argue but eventually just nodded while Yugi immediately said, "Okay!"

Ten minutes later, the teacher had passed out the required tools and Yugi was still trying to figure out exactly how much pressure and how many drops of blood he really needed to put in that slide, and spent another few seconds just fiddling with the needle and glancing at the glass slides, the microscope and the textbook. Finally he had to put it down because he was starting to get nervous about pricking himself without meaning to, placing it on the desktop and leaning back in his seat.

"Did you prick your finger yet?" Yugi muttered, frowning as he looked at the needle and then at his own fingertip, licking his lips awkwardly and glancing at Yami.

"Nope. You forget, little one, that I am part of the movement against student abuse and violence against us. I am protesting." He showed off his fingers. "No injuries. Whatsoever. Because I am awesome."

The smaller teen laughed softly and raised an eyebrow. "Why didn't I know about this before and how can I join? Because I really want to join this protest group—especially if there are weekly meetings. I always wanted to be part of those clubs with the weekly meetings."

Yami opened and closed his mouth, blinked once, and then whipped his phone out. "Give me like…ten minutes. I have to come up with rules to this with Bakura and Malik."

Yugi laughed and shook his head, turning away but watching him from the corner of his eye as he went about texting for a few minutes and the teacher finally announced that they were to continue the lesson and stop with the blood typing. The chatter died away after a few minutes, everyone quieting as he started showing off displays about the heart, blood cells, and even transfusions.

Yugi furrowed his brows at the heart that was shown on the screen, with strings of muscle that made him tilt his head in surprise; there were really such things as heart strings?

"The heart strings—as shown in this picture—can sometimes break after a deep emotional trauma, causing the heart to lose form, and as a result, be unable to pump blood effectively. So, you really can die from a broken heart."

So that was why all those hospital dramas had that one episode with the patient who got a heart attack anniversary that their "soul mate" died…

He swallowed hard and avoided looking over at his boyfriend, wondering silently at the idea of whether or not they were soul mates…

"See? This is why should marry me," Yami announced, turning to him immediately and raising a brow while Yugi blushed violently and quickly pecked him on the cheek, hoping that the subject would disappear soon enough.

The taller teen smirked as he turned away, putting his elbows on the desk and his chin in his hands. "You rejected me so sweetly I can't even be mad."

"You're so annoying," he teased, laughing softly and shaking his head.

"But in the most awesome of ways, right?"

"Of course."

"Embarrassing stories are our initiation?"

"Damn straight," Bakura announced, leaning against the counter and undoing the top to his soda. "Now…let's see. Who is going to go first?"

"Okay," Malik decided, grabbing his own drink and smirking at his two cousins before glancing at Yugi with gleaming eyes. "So, these two already know this about me, but the absolute most embarrassing thing that happened to me…was when some little girl dropped her cat out the window to see if it would land on its feet—"

"Asshole!" the smallest teen snarled, surprising the other three who blinked a couple of times and then nodded.

"They were a fucking asshole," Yami agreed, nodding again and immediately going to scoop Milky Way into his arms, the she-cat purring as she rubbed her head under his chin and he messed with the glistening silver that mingled in the dark black fur along her back.

"Fuck yeah," Bakura replied.

"Absolutely. Now, back to the story." The tanned male clapped his hands and rubbed his palms together, smirking wider. "So the girl threw the cat out the window and I tried to catch it and my thumb went up its butthole."

"Wrong hole!" Yugi blurted, covering his mouth and groaning as Yami and Bakura both burst out laughing.

Yami snorted and then snapped his fingers. "You remember that prank I played on Duke when we were ten?" he snickered, the other two swapping looks, thinking for a moment and then shaking their heads slowly.

"Probably not the one that you actually mean."

"Yeah, you played way too many jokes on that poor kid."

"The one with the parrot."

Bakura spat his soda across the floor, laughing and coughing as he smacked his chest with his fist and cleared his throat, Malik snickering next to him.

"Damn."

"What parrot?" Yugi asked, confused and frowning slightly as he looked between his boyfriend and his cousins, glancing back to Yami and nudging his arm gently, a pleading look on his face.

The red-eyed teen chuckled and nuzzled his temple once before saying, "Okay, so Duke used to have this parrot and Bakura was trying to teach it how to say that it had been turned into a parrot and needed help. And Malik said, 'Teaching it that would be a waste of everyone's fucking time' and so I went over to it and started whispering in its ear and you know how birds will mimic pretty much everything you do?"

"Yeah…?"

Yami gave him a teasing smile, raising an eyebrow that made Yugi blush slightly; okay, so he had no idea what he was talking about when he said that, but did it really matter?

"Well, anyways, so I'm over there doing this every five minutes to make sure it's actually paying attention to me," the red-eyed teen continued, smirking widely. "And when Duke came inside with his mom with some of the plates, that bird goes over to him and lands on his shoulder, puts his head down, and whispers 'Asshole' like I had been doing to it all day. And Duke got super pissed and you know how he gets when he…?"

Yugi didn't really notice he had trailed off until he realized Yami was doing it for his sake; he didn't know Duke very well. In fact, he had only met the teal-eyed teen through Yami who had been his friend since they were pretty much in diapers. The first time they had met Duke had called him by Yami's name and then said he had shrunk while Yami had cracked up when he came out of the bathroom after washing his hands to get some of the paint off his fingers left over from art class. So, really, Yugi had no idea what the teen was actually like.

He didn't really hang out with them that much.

He hung out with Yami and his cousins and little sister and his own group of friends—and he felt extremely guilty with that thought because, wow, he hadn't spent time with them alone in a while. He was still so caught up in having Yami as his boyfriend—his first boyfriend—that he had been in that new love stage where all that mattered was the other person…

But was it so bad that he loved it? He didn't want it to ever end…

"Duke has no filter when he's really irritated," Bakura explained, rolling his eyes when Yami seemed at a loss about how to explain without assuming that he knew the other male's tendencies. The silver-haired teen waved his hand at the grateful look that the other gave him and Yami turned back to him immediately after, smirking as his fingers wove through Milky Way's fur and the she-cat turned those strange, brilliant eyes on him as well.

"So he's pissed because his mom made him bring in all the plates because it's the day that they're moving in and they're having one massive barbecue with our family," he said, filling in the details that he knew he had missed before for Yugi's benefit, the attempt making the smaller smile slightly. "So the bird leans into his ear and says, 'Asshole', right? The second he does that, Duke turns his head, glares at the bird, and says, 'What the fuck, you stupid parrot? That's the wrong hole!'"

Yami pursed his lips as Yugi went about munching on his French fry, glancing at him as he dipped it into his honey mustard and tilted his head; the red-eyed teen supposed that this was technically their first real date even though they hadn't announced that it was. He looked at what remained of his chicken sandwich and back at the smaller boy; he loved fast food like everyone else in the world—especially Burger World now that they had the new chicken sandwich instead of just burgers, but he still didn't want to go to the states for this holiday…

"And if I said I was vegetarian?" he asked curiously, keeping his voice level and somewhat serious.

"Yami, I just watched you eating fried chicken," Yugi laughed, shaking his head.

"…Well, now I'm curious about making an attempt to follow some new meat-free diet."

"That's…vegan, Yami."

Yami blinked slowly. "You mean there's…actually a difference?"

"I'm pretty sure vegetarians still eat things like cheese and eggs, and do it for the health benefits while vegans don't eat any animal products and stay away from things made from animal like clothes made from fur or leather. I don't really thing there's much of a difference but I'm pretty sure it makes some people get kind of mean when you don't use the proper term."

"Oh…is that what it is?" Yami chuckled, leaning forward and smirking. "Then I should point out that it would screw up my lifestyle."

"Huh?" Yugi asked, blinking in confusion.

"I don't eat beef or pork."

Yugi grinned slowly after a moment of thought. "But you eat turkey."

Yami opened and closed his mouth and then narrowed his eyes. "Turkey…is a bird, right?"

"…Yeah…?"

"I don't eat birds."

Yugi raised a brow, laughing. "That would have worked…if I hadn't just watched you eat that chicken sandwich."

Yami blinked. "Wait…you mean that chicken…is a bird?"

"Yami," Yugi laughed, rolling his eyes and leaning forward to kiss his cheek. "Don't worry. It will be fine."

The taller teen sighed. "And if I said this diet was effective immediately—"

"Give it up."

"Never. Persistence is my only good trait."

"Hmm…"

I need to establish dominance somehow, Yami thought, staring at the smaller teen who tilted his head in confusion at he look to his eyes; the taller boy blinked once and then leaned forward and ran his tongue along the entire side of his face.

Yugi squeaked and gawked at him and Yami pulled back, nodding to himself.

Dominance established.

"I don't want to go."

"So…you licked my face?"

"I don't want to go."

"You're still going."

Dominance…not established.

Yugi didn't get to spend time with Yami after school again until a week had passed; he and his grandpa had been packing up some of the merchandise and working on getting sales up in the shop, which he had managed by calling Yami over to the store for a day after announcing online that the World Champion would be there. Yami hadn't been amused when their "date" had turned out to be him signing autographs and getting them extra business though he had settled easily when Yugi kissed him a couple of times and said he would make it up to him; the only time the two of them had seen each other had been when they were in school and he had to admit that it sucked, especially since he had just gotten there during lunch and he couldn't find Yami at the table…

"Relax, pipsqueak," Bakura drawled, "he just got out of class a little late."

"You two shouldn't be allowed away from each other for long periods of time," Tea laughed. "I mean, Yami literally sought out all of us just to ask if we knew if you were going to be here and now here you are freaking out because he hasn't gotten out of class yet."

"Not to mention when he said he would walk all the way to the game shop if he didn't hear from you by the end of the day," Joey added, laughing. "That guy…"

"And there he is," Mana murmured, pointing at him as he got in line and started shifting his weight from one foot to the other impatiently, Malik behind him talking about something or other. Yugi nearly jumped out of his seat to run over there and hug him or just say hi but stopped short with wide eyes; oh gods, was this normal?

This couldn't be normal, could it?

Maybe he was one of those overly-attached people…?

But didn't that normally mean that the other would get sick of you faster?

He swallowed hard and stared as Yami and Malik disappeared into the small canopy of the cafeteria line; when they came back out again, Malik looked pissed and Yami was snickering with a wide smirk on his face. And he had that momentary impulse to look away immediately so that Yami wouldn't be annoyed at seeing him but found it impossible to listen when the red eyes locked with his and grew wide before becoming insanely bright, his lips curving up into a wide smile that almost made him tremble.

"Oi, you two," Yami's silver-haired cousin muttered, rolling his eyes.

"Sorry," he muttered, blushing furiously as he turned to look at him, finding that he was snickering and shaking his head instead of frustrated like he had thought he would be; maybe he needed to get to know him better than he already did, because half the time his voice sounded monotonous but his eyes and face said something completely different. Yami was animated and his eyes sparkled when he spoke to him, but he hadn't seen that when he was with the others aside from his family or immediately after they had just been talking and it was well-controlled and hardly noticeable when he did take note of it around them.

The tray that was put down next to him surprised him only because of his thoughts, making him jump as Yami raised his eyebrows and smirked at him, pulling back the seat directly in front of Mana.

"Okay, so I was checking my Sims yesterday," Yami announced, eyes dancing with laughter as he settled into his seat next to him, the smaller teen looking up expectantly while the others glanced over. "And one of them died so the Grim Reaper comes in but another one of my Sims is there to greet it at the door and starts going into labor. And the reaper starts screaming, 'This isn't what I came here for! This is not my job! This is the exact opposite of my job!'"

Yugi snorted in laughter and Duke gave him a high-five while the others cracked up and Yami grinned, turning to his phone.

"It was the greatest reaction I've ever gotten out of my Sims before."

"I didn't know you played Sims," the smallest teen at the table admitted, blinking when Tea and Tristan gave them curious expressions and Joey raised a brow, the three of them sharing a quick look before turning back.

"I had nothing better to do yesterday," Yami stated, shrugging. "I mean, you weren't there."

"Oh…"

"Which reminds me," the taller teen stated, turning to Bakura suddenly. "So last night I had the weirdest dream—and it was all about you."

"Me?" the silver-haired teen asked curiously, eyes wide as he leaned forward and stared at him.

"Yeah, so it was like…I pissed you off really badly and you came after me with a knife and apparently all of my lights were clappers," he snickered, "so I'm over there running for my life from you and your knife and both of us are just aggressively clapping the lights on and off."

The others started cracking up and Yami smirked widely at his cousin who steadily started shaking his head, snickering in response. "And this is exactly why we don't tell anyone about our dreams."

Malik and Yami started nodding and then turned away, snickering.

"Exactly why."

"But you know, the thing is, it would be so easy to lure you out of your room," Bakura stated, making Yami look up and raise a brow. "All a murderer would have to do is turn off your wi-fi because you always get pissy when your wi-fi is out so you would go to see why it isn't working."

The red-eyed teen narrowed his gaze and leaned forward, glaring at him darkly. "Bitch, please. If you touch my wi-fi, you asshole, I won't be the one who would be getting murdered."

"Are you American?" Yugi asked, eyes wide as he looked at his boyfriend and the table started laughing, Yami pressing a small kiss to his forehead with a roll of his eyes, turning back to the pizza on his tray.

"Please, no, of course not. I'm half insulted that you said that."

"The shame," the smaller teen muttered, "I think you would drown in it."

"Damn straight. I mean, their fucking mascot is like the bird form of a douche-bag who takes gym class too seriously," Yami stated, rolling his eyes.

"Oh my fucking god," Duke muttered, eyes widening drastically as thought it over. "That is the best fucking description of the American symbol I have ever heard!"

"And there you have it. Straight out of the American's mouth," Bakura snickered.

"How did you know I was wondering about his orientation?" Yugi blurted out, eyes wide before he cringed and smacked his forehead against the tabletop, groaning as the others glanced at him and burst out laughing.

"That has to be the best thing I've heard all week," Yami snickered.

"Well, that's kind of sad. I mean, he usually blurts out a lot better stuff. I'm starting to hate you, actually"—Yami's head snapped up, eyes gleaming, staring at Joey who smirked in amusement—"because your sanity is rubbing off on him."

"Sanity?" Bakura scoffed, barking out a laugh. "You think he's sane?"

"Please, he's not sane," Mana agreed, rolling her eyes.

"Man, last week I walked in on him drinking Sprite out of a massive Ziploc baggy because he lost the cap to his soda," the silver-haired teen said, snorting out a laugh as Yami's eyes widened drastically.

"We agreed we weren't going to—"

"Are you stupid?" Yugi suddenly cried out, throwing his hands up. "Am I dating a stupid? Why the hell would you do that? You can drink soda out of the bottle without the cap!"

"Okay, listen here, you little shit," Yami growled, glaring at him. "I couldn't find the cap to a completely full two liter bottle of Sprite. I wasn't about to drink the whole goddamn thing on the spot—I love Sprite but not that much, damn it. If I had stuck it in the fridge in that fucking bottle, it would have gone flat. So don't call me fucking stupid. I am fucking amazing."

For a moment all of them were silent, Yami glaring at Yugi who was staring with wide eyes and a blush on his cheeks, embarrassed by his outburst when he knew it had come out so much more offensive than he had originally thought it would be, and Tea, Tristan and Joey somewhat alarmed and worried that he was abusive; they didn't know him well enough to assume he wasn't…

"Ooh, someone bruised his ego," Duke snickered playfully.

Yami grabbed a fry from his plate and tossed it at his face, hitting him between the eyes. "Shut up, asshole." He glared at his tray and then turned back to Yugi and stuck his tongue out. "I don't like you anymore. I want a breakup."

"Nope. You're stuck with me," Yugi argued, grinning and poking him in the shoulder. "Besides, you love me."

"Oh, so you're going to abuse that, huh? Going to be all abusive, huh?" he snickered, glancing at his three friends and raising a brow at them that said he clearly knew what they were thinking before; Tea blushed and ducked her head sheepishly while the other two quickly looked away, Joey towards his food and Tristan at his phone.

"Yes." The smaller teen paused for a second and then looked at him. "Can you help me with my math work?"

Yami recoiled and stared at him like he had smacked him. "Why do you insist on punishing me? I haven't done anything wrong!"

Yugi snickered and shook his head, opening his binder and pulling out the sheet, putting it next to him while Yami rolled his eyes and stared at the paper, fighting off a pout. "Okay, so, I don't get this question. What's U? And what's I?"

The taller teen blinked a few times, stared at the sheet, and then waggled his eyebrows as he looked at the letters spelling the Thanksgiving word puzzle. "Apparently it equals 69."

"Aw, fucking—don't do it!" Bakura spat.

Yami shot him a look. "You will not stop me."

"Stop you?"

"He means that I equals 59 because you sure are a 10."

Yugi blinked and blushed, shaking his ducked head as he looked at the paper and something occurred to him, grinning widely as he turned to his boyfriend; he planned to win this round of flirting for once. "No. U plus I is 145 as the atomic number for Uranium is 92 and the atomic number for I is 53. Because we've got chemistry," he announced, snickering at the astounded expression on Yami and the others' faces, each of them gawking before laughing out loud.

"Shit, he's smoother than you," Malik laughed, shaking his head and staring at the small teen. "Damn."

"I've never been out-smoothed before," Yami admitted, raising an eyebrow before chuckling. "But damn, that was great."

Yugi grinned at him and closed his eyes in pure contentment when Yami pressed a kiss to his cheek and momentarily nuzzled his temple before turning away immediately again; he wondered if that was for his benefit or because of the others at the table with them. He had told Yami before that he didn't want to be very public about their relationship and aside from that, he was pretty sure that none of the others wanted to be pointedly exposed to their relationship like they seemed to unconsciously do.

Either way, half the time he felt good that he was willing to do so but the other half he hated him not teasing him some more.

For a few minutes they all went about doing things amongst themselves, Yami checking his phone, Yugi looking at his worksheet again, Tea and Tristan going about eating again while Joey tried to snatch some food from Malik's plate and the Egyptian smacked him upside the head just enough to get the point across, Duke talking to Bakura and Mana…

"Hey, did you hear about what happened with Miho?" some girl whispered as she walked past their table, all of them listening in due to their slight moment of silence. "I heard she hooked up with that guy Jaden and Yusei."

"At once?"

"Yeah, it was like…a threesome or something."

"That's disgusting."

"I know! She's such a slut."

"Oh, please," Yami mumbled, rolling his eyes and grabbing his fork to stab a couple of pieces of pineapple. "Ooh, more than one sexual partner! The shame!"

Tristan snickered and shook his head. "People are so stupid sometimes."

"Judging someone based on the number of sexual partners they've had is stupid," Bakura agreed, nodding before looking at his pizza.

"I disagree," the red-eyed teen murmured, making all of them look at him as he pointed his fork at his cousin. "If someone has had more than one hundred thousand sexual partners I'm going to want to judge them because that shit right there is fucking amazing."

The silver-haired teen nodded vigorously and shared a high-five with him while Tea laughed a startled, "I was honestly expecting that to go somewhere else but I'm glad it didn't. I like what you just said."

Yami gave her a playful wink while Mana pointed out, "I like the idea of only having one person who you'll always be with more than having tons of sexual partners, you know?" with a frown that made Yugi blink.

"You mean like these two idiots right here?" Bakura sniped, waving his fork in their general direction. "Because you know Yami will never get another boyfriend and Yugi is just like…all lovesick like a fucking puppy or something."

Yugi blushed furiously and Yami merely raised a brow, stabbing another piece of pineapple and popping it in his mouth, the white plastic stuck in between his teeth as they continued talking.

Malik snickered and nearly choked on his chicken tender. "Dude, shit, yeah, that's so true. If they broke up Yami would be depressed and annoying and we'd be begging Yugi to take him back while Yugi would be all happy to live his life without that weirdo tagging along everywhere."

"You guys are fucking idiots," Mana snarled, rolling her eyes. "Can't you see that Yugi likes him just as much? Ra, I'm surrounded by morons."

Yami blinked, opening his mouth, only to have Malik spit, "Don't be jealous that you can't get a guy, Mana."

"Don't be jealous," the blonde sneered, "and yet you were just over there sniping about how much you wanted a girlfriend just as attached as Yugi is to Yami."

"Bullshit, I never said that you stupid little—"

"Don't call my sister stupid," Yami snarled, springing into the conversation again. "That's my job, asshole."

Mana nodded affirmatively, gave her brother a sharp look doing so, and then stuck her tongue out at her cousins as they both glared and then glanced at Yami; the red-eyed teen suddenly turned to Yugi, mumbling in his ear, "You know, one time, Mana and I came up with this really fucking stupid idea to celebrate our birthdays the same day and she decided that she wanted to go to an Italian restaurant but I wanted Mexican so we're arguing and I was trying to get a vote from them. Bakura's response is literally 'Kill the spare and go eat wherever the fuck you want' and I'm over there thinking, 'The spare' the entire time I was looking at her during dinner."

Yugi started laughing, covering his mouth as he looked between Bakura and Mana and doubled over, sobbing and nearly falling out of his chair; Yami chuckled and caught him around the waist, holding him in place. "Oh my gods."

"Yami…what the fuck did you just tell him?" Mana demanded.

"Nothing."

"No, seriously, what did you just say to him?"

"Mana, re—"

"No, tell me what the fuck you just told him! Because I swear if it was about me—"

"And he thought World War III was between her and Rebecca," Bakura hissed, rolling his eyes.

"It was actually something about a conversation that Bakura and I had, now if you could just shut the fuck up, it would be very much appreciated," Yami spat, frustrated; Yugi continued laughing but managed to draw in a deep breath and sit up, swallowing hard as he let out a few more snickers.

"Wait, a conversation that we had?" the silver-haired teen murmured, eyes wide as he leaned forward slightly. "What conversation was that? Which one—?"

"One that we said we wouldn't mention in front of Ana-may."

"Your pig Latin sucks and you should feel bad," Mana sniped.

"Bitch, please, if I wanted to go all pig Latin, you wouldn't understand a word."

"These two," Tea muttered, smiling as Tristan and Joey snickered and shook their heads. "If we just recorded fights between the family and put them online, we'd probably be rich by the end of the week."

"Wait a second!" Bakura cut in angrily, slamming a fist on the table and making his blonde-haired cousin jump a mile before spinning on her brother and staring. "Which conversation? There are so many we're not allowed to mention in front of her…"

Yami opened his mouth and Mana blinked a few times before crying out, "I knew you guys were keeping shit from me!"

"Of course we are," Yami said casually, waving a hand at her dismissively even as Bakura kept his eyes glued on the red-eyed teen. "You're the youngest. Not to mention the only girl in the family."

"…Crap."

"So, anyways, this conversation…? I want details."

"Birthday dinner."

The brown-eyed cousin stayed silent for a second, thinking for a long moment before his gaze widened drastically, his head snapped towards Mana, and then his mouth split in a wide smirk. "Oh, that one!"

"Yeah, that one," Yami agreed, snickering.

"Oh my Ra, it only took two words and you remembered it…" Mana whispered, eyes wide as she stared at them. "That means you've only had one conversation about me about birthday dinners…"

"No, it just means that one was the most memorable."

"…And you're not going to tell me?"

"Hell no."

She tipped her head towards Yugi. "Yugi, what did he say to you?"

The small teen froze in place and Yami clapped his hand over his mouth, glaring at her coldly. "He won't tell you jack shit."

"What? Oh come on, seriously? You can't—"

"I'm dead serious."

"Did you just fucking pull a pun?" Bakura growled.

Yami opened and closed his mouth and the blinked. "Oh my Ra, I did."

"You guys plotted to kill me?" Mana cried, glaring. "Are you serious right now?"

"What? What the hell are you even talking about?" Yami hissed at her. "Stay out of this conversation already."

"Dude, she was part of the conversation before—"

"Duke, when I want your corrections for verbal mistakes I've made, I will ask you, understand?"

The teal-eyed teen sighed loudly, rolling his eyes, and Yami glared at him before turning back to Bakura. "I'm really starting to wish that I had followed your advice, honestly."

"I would have. I mean, gods, how do you put up with it?"

Yugi started laughing behind his hand, grabbing his wrist and squeezing so that Yami jerked away from him, snarling and yanking his hand away; the smaller teen instantly blushed and went to pull his palm into both of his but couldn't stop guffawing.

"Yami, I swear to Ra, just tell me what—"

"Fine, you want to hear what I told him, Mana?" Bakura snapped, rolling his eyes as Yami stared at Yugi as if he had grown three heads and one of them was spouting fire. "You really want to hear this shit?"

"Well duh."

"All right." The brown-eyed teen turned to her and glared coldly into her eyes. "We were talking about the birthday dinner and how you wanted Italian and he wanted Mexican. I told him to get rid of the spare and go eat wherever the fuck he wanted. And later, just like he just told Yugi, he said to me that all he could do was stare at you across the table and think, 'The spare' the entire dinner."

The entire table aside from Mana, Bakura and Yami burst out laughing with Yugi, cracking up at the way that the red-eyed teen smirked and reached up to run a hand through his hair. The blonde opened and closed her mouth twice, glaring at Yami and then Yugi and Bakura before pouting while her cousin and brother shared a high-five and shook their heads, turning away.

When the laughter finally died away, the brown-eyed teen suddenly turned to Yami and mumbled, "You remember when she was in second grade and that guy picked on her?"

Yami took a second and then burst out laughing. "You mean the one that she actually 'took revenge' on and got sent home for?"

"Oh gods, that was too great," Bakura snorted, glancing at Mana who blushed furiously and hissed, "Don't you dare—"

"So, just to catch you guys up on what we were just—"

"Yami, I swear to—"

"—laughing about, in second grade, Mana—"

"—Ra, I will fucking—"

"—got detention and a letter home because—"

"—destroy you if you don't—"

"—some guy in her class said to her that girls—"

"—stop! I swear I will and—"

"—don't fart so she actually sat on him and farted."

"—I hate you!"

Yami shrugged. "You're always flopping between loving and hating me anyways, so this doesn't really change anything," he stated, rolling his eyes and turning away again while the others started cracking up.

"I always wanted a little sister," Tea murmured when they had finally settled down again, voice slightly wistful. "Just for stories like this."

The red-eyed teen turned to her. "Would you like the spare?"

Mana threw a grape at him and Yami burst out laughing, fending off the next few to follow, his sister seething as she tried to smack his palms away and hit him in the eye.

"I hate you! Ra, why couldn't I be born with an older brother who's my best friend and has hot friends that flirt with me and drives me places like McDonald's when I'm sad and punches rude guys in the face for me?"

Yami stayed quiet for a moment and then snickered, "You remember when I sat on you and farted until you passed out?"

Bakura and Malik threw their heads back, laughing until they were crying, and Mana let out a high-pitched yowl-like noise that was drowned out by the other students' chatter.

"Or—or when I duct taped you to the treadmill and turned it to the highest setting?"

Malik fell out of his seat and hit the ground, still cracking up, while Bakura put his arms on the table and buried his face in them, wheezing from laughing so hard.

"How about when you were eight and I locked you in Milky Way's massive crate for two hours for misbehaving on Christmas Eve?"

"Yami!" she screeched, the older teen immediately on his feet and taking off when she looked ready to jump over the table; Yugi and the others were still laughing as they watched him running around other students while she chased him a few feet behind.

"Oh my gods, Mana, are you okay?" Yugi demanded, gawking at the reddened flesh on her temple, the bump that was clearly showing there despite her shadowing it with her bangs, huffing and glaring at her brother.

"It's noticeable?"

"Yeah!"

"What happened, Yami?" Joey asked, glancing at him and then at Mana and biting his lip to keep from laughing; that bruise looked a little like Kirby.

"We got monsters," Yami said, snickering and leaning against the wall, not looking up from the phone. "There was a roach in my room. Mana was up on my bed and playing around and so I'm over there playing on my laptop at the desk. And so she starts screaming and I jumped up and went over to the bed and she's freaking the fuck out so in the middle of the mayhem, I pushed her off."

Yugi gawked and Joey burst out laughing, tears starting to come to his eyes. "Yami!" he cried, staring at him in shock as his boyfriend held his hands up and put his phone away, grinning.

"What?! She had been annoying me all day and then she just kept screaming and…Damn, there's only room for three people on the bed. And there was already Milky Way and Mana when the cockroach came up. Me joining them—my bed would have collapsed otherwise. Damn, Yugi, I made an executive decision."

Joey cracked up, sobbing and biting his knuckles at the way that Mana shoved her brother and turned away, puffing her cheeks out and glaring while Yami smirked and shrugged playfully, winking at his boyfriend teasingly.

"You're horrible!"

"No, I pulled a Seto and kicked her ass off of my bed."

Yugi burst out laughing, unable to stop himself, and shook his head as Mana convinced Joey to go with her to the cafeteria to get lunch, effectively leaving the two of them alone; the smaller teen couldn't figure out if that was a good idea or not…

"I'm really thirsty," Yami announced, giving him a small playful smile that made him blush with the subtle hint of sultriness that underlined the words. "Come on, I want to get a soda real fast."

Yugi nodded and followed him off towards the vending machine, biting his cheeks and wondering at what he had been wondering about all night; were they soul mates? Was it just a fun little fling for Yami? Was he actually serious about the marriage thing in class before? Why hadn't he argued when he said he loved him the day before at lunch? Did he actually love him or was it a joke?

Half the time Yami was too playful and perverse for him to tell what was serious with him and what wasn't.

"So my parents were wondering if you wanted to come over after school. Or are you still going to be raising more money for the time being?" Yami asked, tilting his head towards him and raising a brow.

Yugi stayed quiet for a moment, taking a long second to actually realize what he had said to him, and then slowly shook his head. "Uh, no, we're not…I mean, I just wanted to get some extra money for the…" He shook his head again and Yami gave him a confused look that quickly turned teasing.

"You mean, I won't be promised a date only to find out that you're using me for monetary profit?"

The smaller teen blushed furiously and smiled at him. "No, you won't be promised a date only to find out that I'm using you for monetary profit."

"Good, because I fucking hate crowds and I was seriously insulted that you would use me like that," he hissed, turning away and glaring at the machine for a second before looking at him with a pout. "You're mean."

"I didn't know that though!" Yugi pleaded, biting his lip to keep from laughing. "You're the World Champion and yet you hate crowds…I honestly don't understand how that works."

Yami held a hand up and straightened, stepping into him so that Yugi blinked and backed up, the taller teen following him again, both of them repeating until the smaller cried, "Stop!"

"And that is why I hate crowds. No one seems to know what the fuck personal space is anymore." He paused and then waggled his eyebrows at him. "But you know, if you were to do that, we could take it a step further and—"

For a moment Yugi just laughed, covering his mouth with his hand and watching him as he went back over to the machine with a fresh pout on his face, bottom lip jutted out and making the smaller insanely desperate to kiss him.

And that single thought brought about a question that he'd been thinking about for a little while now.

"Hey, Yami…?"

The taller teen turned around, hand still reaching for his soda, but his attention completely on him at the slight hesitation in his voice; his brows furrowed slightly, eyes concerned, but he relaxed immediately when Yugi mumbled, "How did you come out to your parents?"

Yami smirked widely and straightened, taking his Sprite and undoing the cap as he leaned against the vending machine. "We were baking—there were sugar cookies and an actual cake with blue frosting—and my parents and I were making them for Mana's twelfth birthday," he explained, snickering. "So I wrote the word 'gay' in big block letters across the top of my cookie, showed it to them, said, 'You are what you eat' and ate it in front of them."

Yugi's eyes stretched wide. "Oh my gods…that's so awesome…"

"Yep, and now, every once in a while, I like to give my parents gifts to remind them because they sometimes forget because they don't mind it and so they're so okay with it that they sometimes say the wrong gender when they talk to me about my 'future spouse'," he snickered. "So one year I recorded my voice and put it in a Build-a-Bear doll and gave it to my mom."

His eyebrows shot up, grinning and shaking his head at his boyfriend who thought for a moment and then tipped his bottle towards him.

"I played a game of Scrabble with them one time, saved all the letters until they spelled 'I am gay' and then threw out some pre-printed pictures of gay guys kissing at them. I knitted a rainbow scarf for my mom once because she asked me what I would name my children." He paused and tipped his head to the side. "Once I went on for three hours about how hot the guy who plays Dean Winchester in Supernatural is. My dad was not nearly as amused as I was."

Yugi laughed and shook his head, watching him. "I can imagine he wasn't."

"Ooh, last year, while we were at the store, I was bored and so I wandered off. But then I couldn't figure out where the fuck they went and so I wandered over to the front desk and asked them to call for them…" His lips quirked up. "I told them to call to Aknamkanon with the message that their son Yami 'Es-Gay' was waiting for them."

"Oh my gods, are you serious?"

"Hell yeah. I got super bored and it was the perfect time to do it," he snickered, looking at him playfully. "I also wrote 'I'm gay' backwards on a slip of paper and gave it to them and they had to go look in the mirror to read it. Last time I did it was before I met you and announced you were my boyfriend…and I cried hysterically until they asked me what was wrong and then got yelled at for wasting their time with false tears. Although my dad definitely got a kick out of it…My poor mom thought I had hurt myself or something."

Yugi laughed and shook his head. "That's…wow."

Yami shrugged and smiled at him. "It's not something I was afraid of telling my parents about. They love the shit out of me so I didn't really hesitate when I finally figured out I was comfortable enough to tell them in the first place."

"You were twelve the first time you told them…right?" Yugi asked, watching as he nodded and sipped his soda again. "So…how old were you when you figured it out?"

He thought about it for a long minute. "Ten. Yeah, I was suspicious at nine and then I figured it out when I was ten. When we would have those stupid truth-or-dares where you would have to kiss someone, I didn't play because I didn't want to kiss a girl and the parents normally wouldn't let you kiss the same sex…So then, for two years, I freaked the fuck out because of those stupid parties and figured it was wrong the entire time. Then I figured out how stupid an idea that was and just told them via the cookie."

"Via the cookie," Yugi repeated, the words tasting foreign but terribly addicting on his tongue. "Via the cookie."

"Damn straight." Yami paused and wrapped his arm around his shoulder. "You know, that frosted cookie tasted so good…"

Yugi blinked and blasted furiously. "Oh my god, you just made a cookie sound dirty. Why are you doing this?"

"Because they taste so good."

"You just ruined my favorite pastry, Yami."

"Good. Because soon enough you're going to have a new favorite dessert," he purred into his ear, running his tongue over his cheek playfully, Yugi shivering and trying to step away from him before moaning and blushing furiously. "Want to guess what it will be?"

"Yami…" He pushed him away, blushing and laughing awkwardly; Yami gave him a somewhat surprised, curiously confused look but shrugged it off, going back to his soda and gesturing for him to follow him to the cafeteria.

"Okay, so, if you're going to come over after school, do you want anything special to eat? My mom thinks that she needs to make something special," he commented, leading the way and laughing when Yugi narrowly ducked away from the pole in between the doors to the lunchroom. Yami grabbed his hand quickly, squeezing their fingers and leading the way into the line; the good thing about being a little later to the cafeteria than the rest of them was that the line was mostly gone at the moment.

Yugi jumped and squealed when a finger poked into his side, glaring at Yami immediately when he saw him laughing.

"Ticklish much?"

"Why do you always—?"

"Because you're deliciously sensitive and I love it," Yami interrupted immediately, purring and tracing his fingers over his ribs, the blue-violet-eyed teen yelping and squirming in an attempt to get away from him.

"Yami!"

"Ooh, are you making sex noises in front of everyone again?"

He glared at him and tried to push him away, both of them stumbling when he realized that Yami had moved his hand from his and had wound his arm around his waist; the taller teen burst out laughing at the shocked, flustered expression and Yugi blushed before trying to pull away again.

"Ugh, stop it!"

"You're right. I should preserve your sex noises for when we have wild monkey make up sex later."

"Yami…there are no fountains!"

"So you do agree that we should have wild monkey make up sex in a mall fountain."

"I…I—w-what?! No!"

Yami snickered and kissed his temple. "Don't argue now. We all know you agree with me."

"No, I—"

"Mmhmm!"

"No!"

The taller teen smiled and raised a brow, looking at him sideways before turning away again and heading for the trays, grabbing his own while Yugi huffed and got one as well, both of them wandering out of the line towards their table.

"Um…there seems to be a couple of extra people here," Yami stated, raising an eyebrow and putting his tray down, taking a seat next to Bakura; Yugi awkwardly hovered for a second before the red-eyed teen gestured for him to take a seat in his lap.

"That's…against the rules—"

"Do you honestly think anyone gives a shit?" Bakura snorted, rolling his eyes and gesturing towards another couple where a girl sat in her boyfriend's lap.

Yugi shifted awkwardly for a second and then looked at Yami who waited patiently, watching him before glancing at his food and then his cousin, muttering, "Did you guys ever give Mana her mannequin back?"

The silver-haired teen blinked and snickered, "Oh yeah, we need to do that!"

"You have the mannequin?" Yugi asked, eyes wide as he finally moved to take a seat in Yami's lap, blushing faintly and fighting off a more noticeable one as he worried about unconsciously arousing him like he had before.

"Yeah, we decided that we were going to dress it up and cover it in ketchup at a skateboard park and lay it there funny," Malik said, jumping into the conversation and smirking widely. "You would be amazed by how many people screamed like little bitches. All the guys were screaming and running around and someone called the police after a few minutes."

"What did you do after that?"

"Bakura went and grabbed it and ran off with it while someone was calling it in," the blond laughed, glancing at his brown-eyed cousin who smirked widely. "Then we ran off back to the house."

"They also strung it up after taking the arms and legs off and hung it from the roof with a rope, with this little birthday hat on its head, and kept it like that until Mana freaking flipped out when she saw it," Yami commented, grinning widely and shaking his head. "It was amazing. I don't think I've ever seen her have such a massive spaz attack before."

"You know what, you try waking up to a dismembered mannequin with Joker paint and tell me just how you feel about it," the blonde snapped, blushing furiously and shaking her head.

"You guys are demented," Joey laughed, shaking his head and digging into his burger while Yami went about picking at his fries and Yugi grabbed his own sandwich to start taking massive bites, stomach growling ferociously.

"Yes, yes we are," Bakura agreed wholeheartedly, sharing a high-five with his blond cousin before glancing at Yugi. "So…does he have an erection yet?"

"What?" he blurted, blushing furiously and gaping at him.

"Is he stiff?"

Yugi opened and closed his mouth, gaping at him in horror at the statement.

"Does he have a stiffy?"

"W-why would you…?"

"Ra, Bakura, are you trying to scar him for life?"

"What? He's not a girl! He should know what a fucking stiffy is!"

"I know what a stiffy is!" Yugi objected, blushing furiously. "I just—Why are you so curious about your cousin?"

"Oh hell no he did not just turn this into incest," Bakura growled, baring his teeth.

"I think I just d—"

"Aren't girls lucky that they don't have penises?" someone cut in immediately, making both of them stop short and look over at the redhead who smirked a little at the new amount of attention he was getting; Yami didn't have to glance at him to know that he was reveling in the fact that Mana had officially looked up at the comment. It wasn't a secret that the boy had a thing for his little sister, something that he didn't care for but if she liked him, that was her choice so he'd kept his opinions to himself about the little termite.

"Oh please, do you realize just how super expensive it is to actually be a girl?" she asked, narrowing her eyes in an effort to make it clear that she was not happy about his little statement or about him taking Yami's seat just to speak to her when she didn't want anything to do with him.

"Are you serious right now?" Alister laughed, rolling his eyes and leaning against the table for a second. "Tell me again who pays for your dates."

Yami glanced over now, raising a brow, while Yugi and Bakura tilted their heads.

"Who is paying for our tampons, pads, ultrasounds, pap smears, ob/gyn visits, bras, clothes, makeup, and hair products to go on dates with fuckers like you?" she snarled, laughing mockingly at him.

Her brother burst out laughing at the shocked look on Alister's face, pulling his phone out and holding it up. "Allow me to provide the sound effect for your answer."

Yugi blushed and bit back a laugh at the cricket noises, Bakura and Malik snickering and shaking their heads as they turned away; the smallest teen nudged him gently in the chest and shifted slightly in his seat as Alister snarled, "Shut up."

"Fuck off, don't talk to my brother like that," Mana snapped, rolling her eyes and pointing. "In fact, you should go off and find your own goddamned seat to sit at right about now because really, I don't want to have to look at your face anymore."

"Bitch," Alister spat, getting up and wandering off to his friends; Yugi wondered if he should get up from his spot but decided against it at the last second, blushing when he bumped into it.

"And there it is, ladies and gentlemen," Bakura snickered, shaking his head and eating his fries. "The stiffy we were all wondering about."

"Why are guys such asses?" Mana cut in before Yugi or Yami could respond.

"Oh, Mana, Mana, Mana, you live with me and you still have the audacity to ask that question?" Yami snickered. "We're all pieces of shit who want to sit on girls and fart until they pass out."

"…You're never going to let me live that down, are you?"

"It's too amazing a circumstance to pretend it didn't happen…Aren't childhoods wonderful?"

"I still can't believe you did that," Yugi admitted.

"It's how I win fights. I establish dominance by sitting on you and farting," Yami stated, smirking.

"You should get a gas mask, Yugi," Mana murmured, making him look over in surprise. "Because I'll bet twenty bucks that that'll be how you guys figure out who tops the first time."

Yami blinked once. "He's too cute to pin down and do that to."

"Wait, did you just call me ugly?"

"I love how your brain translates things." He paused. "But yes. I do think you're ugly. You're like…a half-melted piece of cheese stuck on colorful clothing."

"Did you just insult my hair?"

"Damn straight. Where are your hair products now, bitch?"

"If anyone else ever said that to her, he'd cut their head off and parade around with it on a stick," Bakura snorted, smirking as Yugi gawked and looked between them.

"You know, now would be the time to really smack him or throw food," Malik announced loudly. "Yugi is in his lap and he can't move fast enough if he's like that—"

"Don't shoot!" Yugi screeched, throwing his hands up. "I—I—I'm innocent!"

"Thank you, Yugi, I'm glad that I mean so much to you that you would automatically sell me out like this. It touches my heart so dearly that it makes me want to cry," Yami deadpanned, glaring.

"Every man for himself!" the smaller blurted out, blushing. "Take him, not me!"

"You rude little shit," Yami commented, narrowing his eyes.

Yugi blushed harder and glanced at him, ducking his head. "I don't want to die."

"No one's going to die," Bakura sniped, rolling his eyes.

"Are you serious right now?" the smaller snapped, turning on him with wide eyes and pointing at the blonde across the table. "Do you not understand the phrase 'bitches be crazy'?"

Yami choked on a laugh and pressed his face into his shoulder, snickering while Mana gawked and cried, "I'm not crazy!" and the others cracked up.

I should staple my mouth shut, Yugi thought, grabbing his lips and pulling on them. But that would be messy and ugly and how would I kiss Yami if I did that…?

"Are you making a fucking duck face?" Malik cut into his thoughts.

Yugi blinked and snatched his hands away. "No!"

"Good, because then I would officially think you were a girl."

Yami stared at him for a moment, then looked at Yugi who blinked and glanced at him in surprise, confused. "You'd be one awkward ass chick."

The smaller teen blushed furiously and turned away. "Rude."

They had been cuddling on Yami's bed, Yugi occasionally making sure that the cockroach that had been there before didn't come back so Yami wouldn't push him off the bed like he had Mana, when Yami abruptly muttered, "I have a muscle cramp. And I need your help."

"A muscle cramp…?" he asked, furrowing his brows and then jerking away with wide eyes, blushing furiously when he felt it against his hip. "You don't get muscle cramps in your pants, Yami!"

"Yes, you do," he argued, rolling over onto his back and gesturing. "See? Cramp!"

The smaller teen couldn't help it when he found himself staring; Yami had on tight pants but it was still so obvious…

"Boner cramp…?"

"Why, yes, Yugi, my boner is cramped. Thank you for noticing. Now if you would help me relieve some of that…tension—"

Yugi awkwardly pursed his lips, mind starting to fall into the gutter and his own thoughts circulating around the exact words that came out of Yami's mouth when he said, "Yami—" and the taller cut him off with "Oh, come on, you're making the perfect face to do it too!"

Yugi blushed furiously and pushed at his chest, hissing, "You're so annoying!"

"I know," Yami stated, cutting through his awkward moment of realizing that he had just spoken out loud to the other teen when he had meant to say it to his own pants. "Now help me out here?"

He opened his mouth to say something but then his pants tightened a little more and he glared petulantly, huffing. Stupid boner.

"Answer my boner!" Yami cried, startling him.

The smaller teen blushed until he was pretty sure airplane pilots were growing confused about why there was someone signaling them to land in a bedroom, recoiling and sitting up to stare at him. "Yami!"

Those red eyes narrowed. "Don't make sex noises if you don't plan to answer my boner!"

Yugi glared and crossed his arms, staring at the ground next to the bed and hoping that the cockroach wasn't around because as far as he knew, that thing was still alive and if it came up on the bed, he was willing to fight him if he tried to push him off. The bed was too comfortable for him to be thrown off.

Plus, his pants were too tight and he didn't like it and…oh gods, there it was…

"How. Rude!" Yami huffed, pouting and rolling over onto his stomach, getting up and picking off a piece of fuzz. "Fine. I guess I'll just have to go…relieve myself then."

"Muscle cramps need relief!" Yugi blurted out, head snapping towards him.

"Damn straight they do!"

Yugi watched him go and then looked at his pants, huffing and shifting his weight unhappily; tight pants equaled no boner being shown. Life was great that way because he wasn't nearly as proud of or amused by them as Yami was. He got to his feet quickly, rubbing his legs together and biting back a moan at the sensation, quickly growing frustrated with the small bit of awkward sliding that came from the back…

Tight pants were great.

Except when they fucking made your underwear get caught and wouldn't release!

He rubbed his legs together some more because normally all it took was a little movement in the right place, the right amount of it, and his underwear would fall back into position, but now they refused to do so and he was staring at his crotch, hissing, "Aw, come on!" a little too loudly.

Yami came back to him doing something like a cha-cha, stepping back and forth and always making sure to rub his thighs together firmly, eyes narrowed and glaring at his crotch, his arms thrown out in exasperation as he started hissing something or other along the lines of "Stupid fucking pants. Can't even save me from a fucking wedgie. Tight enough to cling to my waist but won't stop my underwear from sliding up and…"

Then he noticed him and both of them stared at each other for a long moment, the smaller teen's entire face turning so completely red that Yami thought he had somehow managed to get an instant sunburn, blinking at the shade for a second and then grinning; aw, his sweet little aibou's ears were blushing too!

"Oh, why hello," he sang playfully, looking at his crotch and grinning widely.

Yugi stayed completely still for a second. "Don't…don't say hello to my wedgie!" he snapped. "He doesn't deserve a hello! He's being frustrating and stupid right now!"

And, oh gods, had he actually just said that?

Yami snickered at the mortified expression on his boyfriend's face, raising a brow playfully. "Wedgie, huh? I thought that normally meant your underwear was pulled from the back—"

"Reverse wedgie!" Yugi blurted out wildly, unconsciously waving his arms like a crazy person. "My boner pulled it up!"

"He's so big that he pulled your underwear up and you have a wedgie. I must say, Yugi, I'm growing extremely jealous right about now," he snickered, waggling his eyebrows and narrowing his eyes as he stared at his crotch. "I must meet him!"

Yugi blushed furiously, opening and closing his mouth and then glancing at Yami's pants for a second, eyes widening drastically; oh gods, he'd made him hard again…

"Come on, Yugi, lose the pants! I want to meet him officially!" the taller teen teased, eyes shining with laughter as he looked up at his face, grinning widely as the smaller blushed that much harder.

"I…I…Yami," he pleaded, blinking and then scrunching his face up like a rabbit, the expression cute enough that Yami could feel the laughter bubbling up.

"Elusive little bastard," he snickered, wagging his finger at his crotch and pausing. "I suppose he'll have to remain a mystery to me for now. We'll meet at some point. I'll even shake hands with him."

Yugi blinked wide eyes, discomfort completely forgotten as he stared at the other boy. "Yami, um…did you just…offer me a handjob?"

"Maybe just a little?"

Yugi blushed again and then glanced at Yami's hand, eyes widening as he took in the blue plastic square of ice. "Are you…going to…put that…in your pants?" he muttered, confused and a little curious; is that how he normally got rid of them?

Yami blinked several times, startled by the question, and then slowly glanced at the ice pack and then Yugi's face, laughing until he was sobbing. "Shit."

He blushed harder and shook his head; at this rate, he was definitely going to have permanently red skin. Yami would probably tease him about being an Indian and Yugi would never hear the end of it.

"I am honestly almost tempted to do it now," he admitted, laughing as he looked at the ice pack, sniffling loudly and calling attention to his nose that Yugi just realized was a little red. "No, I actually hit my nose a second ago as I was going to—"

Yugi immediately hurried over and plugged his nose, eyes wide as he felt it against his fingers. "Oh my gods, you're bleeding!" he cried, surprised when Yami snickered and reached up to pull his hand away.

"I know. That was why I got the ice pack."

"How did you even…?" He shook his head, frowning; how had he even managed to do this?

"I had to go pee and I…hit my nose against the wall," he admitted, laughing and shrugging. "My fault for forgetting how doors work, apparently."

Yugi laughed and grabbed the ice pack. "You're a mess when you're aroused."

"'Aroused'," Yami repeated in a sultry purr, looking at him with a wide grin. "Now that coming out of your mouth? Too hot."

The smaller blushed again, growing frustrated with the situation going on with his pants and his own childish thoughts at Yami's flirting. "Hush you."

He purred louder and Yugi shivered. "You know, that almost sounded like you said, 'I love you'."

Yugi blushed harder and laughed nervously, trying to stop from saying something stupid, leaning up to press a kiss to his forehead and ignoring the look that Yami gave him, red eyes studying him to the point that it made his skin crawl.

A few minutes later, he was still feeling those scrutinizing eyes on him despite the fact that they were seated again and their little "issues" had been taken care of; the stare was starting to make him nervous and his stomach was churning and he was wondering what the hell he had done wrong, which of course prompted him to clear away some of the silence, though he had wished he had given some thought about what he was going to say…

"Do you realize that we never stop tasting our own tongue?" he asked before he could stop himself, immediately blushing and feeling mortified; why couldn't he have picked something better?

Yami blinked and studied him for only a moment before purring and leaning into him. "How about I taste yours then, little one?"

Yugi shivered at the sensation of his fingers moving over his stomach and laughed when the other teen narrowed his eyes. "Only you," he mumbled, smiling and pressing his lips against his.

Crisis. Averted.

Yugi was a little amazed by the amount of blood one nose could shed, especially when they had spent two hours trying to make it stop the day before but the moment they were in Biology and they had taken their seats, the other teen was sniffling softly next to him.

"You okay?" he whispered, trying to keep the others from noticing that he wasn't watching the movie, looking at him.

Yami took a moment, glancing at his worksheet before leaning over and whispering in his ear. "So, you know my little nose bleed? I think it's about to start up again."

Was that normal?

Yugi opened his mouth to ask, scared for his boyfriend's health, but he found himself gawking when the red-eyed teen sniffled and turned away, saying, "Hail Satan" loud enough that both of the people behind them looked up just as his nose started bleeding.

Espa Roba, seated directly behind him as he always was, screamed and flailed, falling backwards off the stool and taking on a higher pitch as he backed up into a girl's leg and let out a louder cry. He went to sit up, smacked his head against the bottom of the table, screamed again, grew a pitch louder so that he sounded like a siren, and started scooting back until the girl screamed with him and tried to kick him away.

Yami turned back to him with his eyebrows nearly high enough to disappear into his hair, wiping at his nose with a grin, winking as he whispered, "Definitely worth the blood loss."

Yugi stared for a second at the ridiculously religious boy under the table, blinking before turning back to his boyfriend and nudging him playfully. "You are so fucking mean," he laughed, pausing and searching his face for a long minute. "Why did you do that anyways?"

"Because one time he told me that dinosaurs were created by scientists with the sole purpose of luring me away from god," he stated simply, smirking widely and wiping his nose again. "And I like Jurassic Park. Anyone who tries to diss my movie must be taken down."

Yugi burst out laughing despite the fact that the class was so darkly lit and they were supposed to be watching the movie. "Oh my gods," he whispered, shaking his head and smiling at him widely.

"Seto has a business meeting that he's going to be doing over the holidays," Yami announced as he led him through the door several hours later, holding his hand securely in his; they had both gotten detention for "terrorizing" Espa Roba after he complained that Yugi hadn't helped him in the least when it happened. "So, they're going to meet us at the airport. Cheaper to just grab a bunch of the tickets as a group. Some weird…coupon or sale or something like that."

Yugi nodded. "That's fine. That works." He gave him a small grin. "I don't mind that."

"No, I didn't think you would. I was actually…I meant because of your grandpa…"

The smaller teen blinked and laughed, "I don't think he'll mind either—"

"Goddamn it Mana!" Yami cried, throwing his arms up, cutting Yugi off completely and crossing his arms, narrowing his eyes and shaking his head; the other boy scrambled to his side to see what was going on, confused out of his mind when he simply found the girl sitting on the couch with her legs crossed.

"What?" she asked, just as confused as Yugi was.

"You know damn well what," he snapped, narrowing his eyes further and looking at her legs pointedly.

"Oh my Ra, Yami, I—"

"Mana, go shave your legs."

She rolled her eyes. "It's almost winter. I'm not going to be wearing skirts or anything short for a while—"

"Yes, that may be, Mana, but please go shave your leg hair. I can feel it caressing my ankles from across the room," he replied shortly, wrinkling his nose and blinking when Yugi burst out laughing, glancing at him and smirking slightly at the delight in his eyes.

"Ha, nice try, Yami, but you know you're just afraid that mine will be longer than yours. This is a contest and I'm in it to win it."

Yami blinked and went to open his mouth but was cut off when Yugi crashed into his shoulder, laughing until he was sobbing, the taller teen surprised before turning back. "No, Mana, that would be true if you were Espa Roba's little sister. Because that family comes from centuries of inbreeding but the Sennen family name is one to be proud of and you're being dishonorable by growing such barbarically long hairs on your legs!"

Yugi sputtered and choked, nearly falling over as he clutched as the taller teen's shirt, sobbing harder as his face started turning red.

"Ra, Yami, what the fuck did Espa do to you?"

Red eyes narrowed. "He gave me a choice. Between his god and dinosaurs. I chose the dinosaurs." He snapped his fingers and pointed towards the stairs, grinding his teeth together. "Now get the fuck upstairs and shave that shit off! I don't like my ankles being caressed with lady leg hair!"

"Holy fucking…" Mana mumbled, turning and rushing off upstairs with a glance at her brother who glared after her, snapping his fingers again and pointing aggressively. She scrambled and took off and Yami crossed his arms, turning away and huffing softly.

Yami scoffed and threw his backpack down on the other couch, looking at him and smiling widely as Yugi buried his face in his side and breathed hard, wiping at his eyes and laughing harder. "I wasn't aware it was that funny."

"Your face—" he choked out, falling to his knees and clinging to his shirt, burying his face into his hip and shaking his head. "Oh my gods, your face, Yami! I—I can't even—it—it was so—I can't even—"

Yami chuckled and ruffled his hair, waiting it off with him until he gained enough control to get up again, still snickering at random moments until they got to the couch; he glanced at the red-eyed teen's face for a moment, bit his lip, looked ready to cry, and then sputtered out another laugh.

"Fucking Ra, I was not that funny."

"No, but your face was perfect." He shook his head and moved to press into his side, snuggling into him before shaking his head again and laughing some more.

"At some point you're going to laugh and your lung is going to come flying out and I'm just going to sit here looking and smirking and shrugging because wow."

"Hush," he laughed, shaking his head and reaching up to pinch his lips together, biting his own and struggling to draw in a deep breath and keep from cracking up again. "If you understood how amazingly hilarious you looked at that moment, you wouldn't be so mean."

"I'm not being mean," Yami argued. "I just don't understand why you're laughing so hard."

"Ssh, I have to…catch my breath and just…stop from laughing again," he hissed, swallowing hard and closing his eyes. "That will forever be the best face I have ever seen."

"Well, could you at least mimic it for me or something? Ra, Yugi."

"No one could fucking mimic that."

Yami rolled his eyes and ran his fingers through his soft hair, tipping his head up to stare towards the ceiling and then look towards where he could hear his cousins coming down the stairs suddenly; both of them stopped in the kitchen and Bakura muttered, "Oh, so you're back."

"Dude, is it true that Espa threatened to exorcise you with tap water if you didn't listen to the teacher and take the detention slip?" Malik demanded.

Yami blinked once and then moved away from the blue-violet-eyed teen who moved away from his lap and sat up. "Fucking hell, how did you find out about that?" he demanded, standing up and starting for the kitchen while Yugi merely leaned against the armrest and watched him.

"Are you fucking serious? He actually did that?" Bakura snickered. "Are you fucking with us?"

"No, I…Yeah, he threatened to exorcise me with tap water in the middle of class if I didn't take the detention slip."

"And what did you do?"

"I threatened to summon Satan and use his blood in a sacrificial ceremony to bring around a fucking demon to rape his soul in hell."

Both of his cousins burst out laughing and shook their heads, the silver-haired teen going for a soda from the fridge while Malik simply took a seat at the table. Yami ignored them both for a second and then went about debating something hot or lukewarm or cold to eat.

"You threatened him with a demon raping his soul?"

"Damn straight. He threatened my religion."

"Your religion?" Bakura repeated.

"The one where there are dinosaurs and common sense."

"Oh that one," Malik muttered, rolling his eyes. "That one that people call atheism."

"No, I'm not atheist," Yami argued, shaking his head. "I believe in Ra and the Egyptian gods…for the most part."

"Polygamous?" Yugi asked, confused.

All three of them turned to him with wide eyes and then looked away just as fast, Yami shaking his head slowly. "Polytheism, Yugi, not polygamy," he chuckled. "That would be where I have multiple wives and…all of that. What is that called anyways?"

"Amish or some shit like that," Bakura said, dismissing the subject immediately again. "So what did you do after that that?"

"Well, he offered to cleanse Yugi's soul because he obviously took our jokes from before way too seriously and he was really starting to piss me off…so I might have told him to fuck himself with a erasable marker," he commented, eyes flickering towards the ceiling. "Then the teacher got mad at us for arguing and gave the three of us detention."

"You told him to fuck himself with a marker?" Malik grumbled, rolling his eyes and shaking his head. "That's disgusting."

"Oh please, I dare one of you to name an object that no one has used sexually," Yami announced, rolling his eyes at the argument and grabbing an apple out of the bowl.

"Your penis," Bakura snickered.

The apple hit the ground hard and Yami stood there frozen, staring at where it had fallen before looking at him and then at the fruit, blinking before slowly turning to Yugi and back. "Goddamn it."

Yugi blushed and ducked his head, turning away towards the massive plasma screen and ignoring the way that Bakura and Malik laughed and poked fun at their virginities, Yami arguing halfheartedly, mostly just frustrated that he had walked straight into that one.

"Yeah, yeah, bye," Yami huffed as they wandered out the door, Yugi shouting a few farewells before his boyfriend joined him with a massive pout on his face, glaring at him playfully.

"I'm sorry about what…I mean…Um…I'll make it up to you"—he could see Yami opening his mouth to argue and hurried on—"Anything you want, Yami."

Yami tilted his head like a bird for a second. "Anything I want?"

Yugi licked his lips nervously but nodded all the same; the other boy stayed quiet for a long minute before finally he leaned forward, biting his lip, and whispered, "Can you explain to me how the fridge works? Like how the fuck does everything stay cold in there?"

Yugi opened and closed his mouth and then finally burst out laughing, shaking his head as the other teen stared blankly, saying, "I'm serious, Yugi."

"I know," he laughed, blinking wide eyes. "I know. I just…I was expecting…and you just…!"

"Yugi—" The smaller teen hugged him tightly around the waist, burying his face in his side and laughing softly.

The picture of the massive squirrel, fat and proud with its russet-flecked tail curled up and its acorn in its mouth, popped up in his text messages a second later and Yugi hummed as he looked it over, grinning widely before starting to text back. A few seconds later he stared at the phone in confusion, blinking and then answering with a puzzled, "Yami, what—?"

"How dare you!"

"Huh?"

"Going to fucking call it a cute little fat squirrel and then threaten to bite its head off. What kind of sick fuck am I dating?"

Yugi blinked a few times, pulled his phone away from his ear and then blushed furiously at his text of Aw, such a cute little fat squirrel! I just want to bite its adorable little head off!

"Oh my gods, why you do this, auto-correct?"

Yami stayed quiet for a moment and then whispered, "Yugi, I think it's staring at me."

"What, really?" he asked, slightly excited.

"Yeah. Like…really staring at me. Like…it wants to do to me what it did the other squirrels."

"Huh?" Yugi demanded, confused, eyes widening. "What do you mean? What did it do to the other squirrels?"

"It's getting ready for winter by eating all of them. And now it wants me next!"

"Survival of the fattest!"

Yami burst out laughing. "Next winter they'll all be eating him to avoid starvation," he commented, continuing down the street with a backwards glance at the squirrel which flicked its tail at him and scurried off.

"So, you're sure that your grandpa is going to be okay with me coming over?"

"Yeah, it was his idea, after all…I mean…"

The taller teen sighed softly; he hadn't met the elderly Motou yet. When he had come over for the autograph thing that they had going on, he had been in the front and Yugi and his grandpa had been in the back. Yugi had come and greeted him, kissing his cheek and said thanks, and his grandpa had gone to take a nap instead of bothering to meet him.

He was pretty sure that Solomon Motou hated him without even meeting him yet.

And he was pretty sure it a reinforced thought when they met, the first words out of the elder's mouth being, "You're taller than I expected. But I can still kick your ass."

Yami narrowed his eyes in frustration at the statement, feeling slightly as if he were trying to corner him with the statement, immediately on alert with the idea of being challenged; if he thought that he would get in between him and Yugi, he had another thing coming…

Stress was a bitch.

Maybe even more so than curiosity.

Because Yami hated yogurt but that was the only thing in the fridge besides milk and he couldn't actually eat milk and his stomach was growling and the cup of dairy was pathetically small, pretty much kid-sized, but he still found himself grabbing it and heading over to the counter towards the silverware drawer.

He leaned against the smooth wood, flustered with the entire situation; Solomon had made a point of messing with him, apparently. He wouldn't let him sit too close to Yugi, making some kind of pathetic rule that they couldn't be touching. In fact, since he had accidentally broken that rule—okay, it wasn't an accident, he had just been pissed—the elder had made a point of sitting between them, whether it was with sitting behind the counter during shop hours or on the couch watching a movie.

He didn't even like yogurt most of the time—and especially not the strawberry flavored ones.

He glowered at the little white cup and grabbed one of the spoons, chewing his cheek before narrowing his eyes into slits. By the gods, he didn't even have the patience for a spoon. He'd have to actually put in effort to raise and lower and scoop and eat it.

The red-eyed teen huffed, smirking, and tore the aluminum top off, peeling it and dropping it in the trashcan before tossing his head back with it to his lips, crushing the little cup in his hand and swallowing the cold dairy product immediately.

"Yami…?"

The taller teen spun around, crushed up yogurt cup in hand and eyes wide.

"Did you just…drink your yogurt?"

Yami glanced at it and back before glaring. "You have no proof!"

"You just…I just watched…Why?"

"Hush. You have. No. Proof."

"Oh yeah? Then what's that crushed yogurt cup in your hand?"

Red eyes flickered and settled there for a split second. "What? What crushed yogurt cup? I have no idea what you even speak of…" He grabbed the spoon off the counter. "See? Spoon."

"Yami, I just watched you drink your—"

"You. Have. No. Proof."

"…Why would you drink it if you had a spoon right there to begin with?"

Yami glanced between the cup and the spoon and then towards Yugi and back again before throwing the spoon in the sink and slamming the crushed container onto the counter. "Stop questioning my life choices!" he cried dramatically, throwing his arms up and whining loudly as he passed him; Yugi snickered, watching him go and shaking his head before turning back.

His boyfriend was so weird.

He shook his head and went about doing the dishes in the sink, glancing over his shoulder to find that Yami was glaring at him, head peering out from behind the wall, poking his tongue out before wandering off.

Yugi snickered again, grinning ear to ear and shaking his head.

His grandpa was having far too much fun messing with Yami.

And it was really messing with Yami's head, as he found out a few hours later in the middle of the night when he heard intense bloodcurdling screaming that made him yelp and jump out of bed, running into the kitchen and feeling sick with fear, only to stop short when he spotted him.

He was curled up on the floor, something against his chest, clutching it tightly while rocking back and forth in place, that scream falling into a low, keen whimpering that made his heart hurt.

"What? What's wrong?" he demanded, running over and going about trying to figure out if he was hurt or anything, moving to grab his wrist and check his pulse before blinking a couple of times and frowning.

"They're stale!" Yami snarled, voice rising like an echo, spitting and looking feral for a second, eyes wild and glaring. "Why does the world hate me? I have done nothing to deserve this!"

Yugi burst out laughing, unable to help himself, and Yami seethed, letting out a yowl of a noise and tossing the chips at his face. The smaller teen backed up a step, laughing harder, and Yami glared before turning away and curling up on his side with his back to him.

"I hate you. Go away."

"No, no, come on, Yami," he giggled, going over to his side and laughing softly before running his fingers over his arm and kissing his temple. "Come to bed with me and I'll make the best pancakes ever for breakfast tomorrow."

"But I'm hungry now and I want to cry because how the fuck can your grandfather be this mean to me?" he growled, trying to shrug him off but ending up jerking him hard enough that he fell forward on top of him and rolled for a second. The taller teen burst out laughing at his mystified expression and Yugi blinked as he sat up a little and smiled brightly at him.

Well, at least he wasn't screaming anymore.

"We have to get up early, remember?" he pressed, smiling at the taller boy who huffed and mumbled something about not having to get up early if they didn't go. "The plane and then we can spend the afternoon doing whatever and then we can, you know, just…hang out together and—"

"I will not take you out on a date," Yami hissed. "I don't want to go in the first place."

"…Really, you don't want to go to the mall and—"

"Fuck the mall. Life is depressing. And you're not helping."

He snickered and held his hands up when Yami glared furiously.

"Okay, okay, calm down for a second. Look, you can ask anyone. I make the best pancakes and they'll be even better tomorrow if you come to bed with me and I get enough sleep tonight. And then we can have the best pancakes ever for breakfast and get on the plane and—you can have extra, extra, extra syrup if you want!"

Yami's interest definitely peaked with that statement, eyes widening as he shifted to sit up slightly, blinking at his boyfriend and tilting his head. "…Extra, extra, extra?"

"Mmhmm! You can pretty much have a whole bottle if you want! Grandpa always forgets that we have bottles and buys extra just because sometimes…"

"…Fine. But…I want a snack before I go to bed."

"We only have a few more hours to sleep…"

"You just want me to starve."

"No."

"Liar!" Yami hissed, narrowing his eyes and getting up, rubbing dust off his pajamas and sniffling a little. "You lie!"

Yugi laughed softly and shook his head before grabbing his hand and leading him back to his room; he got up a little earlier than Yami who had moved to grab him in a spooning position, fast asleep enough that he didn't notice when he got up and wandered off into the kitchen.

It took twenty minutes for him to wake the other boy with the aroma of the pancakes or the syrup or the movements he was making in the kitchen and when Yami finally came out, he had his eyes half-open, peering through his lashes and sitting at the table with his head tipped to the side and his attention completely on the other boy.

"Hi!"

Yami glowered and huffed, "Hello."

"Not a morning person, huh?"

"Fuck no."

The smaller teen laughed and put the plate of pancakes in front of him, grinning as he declared, "Ha!"

Yami stared at the stack of lightly browned circles of dough for a long moment and then slowly dragged his eyes up towards his boyfriend, the smaller boy blinking at the expression of confusion and alarm lingering in that red stare. "These…pancakes are so perfect that they are unnatural, unsettling, and disturbing."

Yugi blinked and looked at them; no one had ever said that about them before, just that they were perfect and awesome… "So perfect…and unnatural, unsettling, and disturbing that you just want to eat them…right?"

The taller boy looked at the plate and shook his head slowly. "No," he stated, watching Yugi deflate in the corner of his eye, "I want to fuck the pancakes."

He couldn't tell whether that was a compliment, a joke, or just him hearing wrong, but either way, he found himself begging, "Yami, please don't fuck the pancakes."

"I'm going to fuck the pancakes!"

Malik stared at her for a long twenty seconds. "120 dollars? Are you fucking serious?" he asked, shaking his head and glaring thoughtfully at that little pan of brownies; unlike the others, he had woken up so late that he hadn't gotten breakfast and none of them had brought food with them when they packed and he didn't want the crappy airport food that they sold or the shitty airplane food.

The girl nodded, holding the pan tightly. "Yes, sir."

"Oh cute," the blond commented, giving her a small smile. "You think I'm a sir, huh?"

"Yes…sir…?"

"Well, I'm not. Lose the title, girly. This isn't fun time with Malik," he snapped, narrowing his eyes and looking at the brownies and then at her wide wire-rimmed glasses that only emphasized just how wide her dark hazel green gaze really was. She was dressed like one of those girl scouts from America, with that pageant-y like look to her, shorts and a somewhat over-sized t-shirt. And her hair was in disarray, making it seem even more likely that she was a fucking American girl scout because, wow, who else wore that kind of shit? "I'm fucking starved and I want these brownies!"

"That will be 120 dollars, s—Malik…"

"Did I give you permission to use my name?" he snarled, glaring and making sure to put on his best sergeant expression; maybe he could intimidate her into giving him the brownies because, either way, he was getting those fucking brownies. "I didn't think so!"

She opened and closed her mouth once, eyes wide as she stared at him in completely confusion; the teen dug through his pockets, pulled out a fifty he hadn't even realized he had, and swapped the brownie pan for it.

"Good doing business with you."

"But—"

He stepped closer and loomed over her, spitting, "I'm sorry. You want me to starve? Is that what you're saying? You want to be stingy and not give me my food? You want to force me into poverty by denying me my food and stealing my money?" He narrowed his eyes and clutched the pan tightly. "You want to be responsible for me going hungry? Is that what you're telling me, girly?"

"I—I—no, sir, but—"

"No. No buts," he snapped, cutting her off and glaring as she stared back at him with owlishly wide eyes, looking ready to run at any moment. "I am taking these brownies. Understand?"

"B—"

"Oh, oh, so you do want to be guilty, huh? You want to feel guilty about starving an innocent person!" he spat, watching her shake her head immediately. "No, you don't? You don't? Yeah, I didn't think so…punk."

She shook her head again slowly and the blond smirked.

"Good. Then this argument is completely over. Thank you for your patronage towards the cause of filling my belly." He paused, glancing at the pan and then her, patting her on the head with a simple, "You're a good little girl. You'll go far in life" before wandering off with the brownies in his hand.

She stared after him and then glanced at the money in her hand, calling, "Daddy, Daddy!" as she ran off.

Malik took a seat with the group, digging in immediately, stomach growling fiercely as he snickered; good little girl scouts, always pre-cutting things for you.

"Brownies?" Bakura muttered, staring in surprise; the blond nodded and then glanced at him, both of them locking eyes for a second before he offered him one. The silver-haired teen took it from him, staring for a second before tilting his head, sniffing it and then throwing it in his mouth.

"Do you even chew?" Seto sniped, rolling his eyes as both of them started digging in much faster.

"This is the Eating Olympics, cousin. You inhale or you go home," Yami stated next to him, head tilted as he watched them, ignoring the way that the brunet rolled his eyes at his comment. "…How did you even get those?"

Malik pointed vaguely in a general direction. "Some little girly scout was selling them," he replied, wiping at a few crumbs on his mouth. "Wanted them for 120 but I got them for fifty. Saved seventy."

Seto blinked once and then turned to him, astounded. "You…stole brownies from a girl scout?"

"Oh please," the blond argued, rolling his eyes. "I didn't steal."

Both Yami and Seto swapped dubious looks and turned back to him.

"I paid for them!"

"You cheated her of seventy dollars!"

"I haggled!"

"You…haggled a girl scout?"

"Duh." He paused, blinking once and then looking at the brunet with wide eyes. "Why are you staring at me like that?"

"Because I can't decide if I should be proud that you haggled, suspicious that you know how to do it, or ashamed that my cousin just stole from a little girl who was probably raising a bunch of money for some kind of charity event or something."

Yugi reached over and tugged on Yami's jacket sleeve lightly, whispering, "Why is no one asking the real question?" when his boyfriend turned to him in confusion.

"Real question?" he asked, blinking as he tilted his head, obviously so amused by the conversation that his cousins had been having that he couldn't think of what Yugi meant.

"About why they cost one hundred and twenty dollars!"

"Oh…" He blinked and turned around again, frowning. "Right, so Yugi just pointed out…Why the fuck did they cost that much?"

Malik blinked and looked up. "Well, they're fuck awesome…" He paused and licked his lips. "Gourmet or something…Definitely worth fifty but 120 was seriously pushing it."

"Gourmet," Bakura repeated, dragging the word out and smacking his lips together.

"You're…going to be so sick from eating all of those," Yami commented, staring at the pan and then looking at them with his head tilted.

"Fuck off! You're just jealous!"

Yami raised a brow. "Yes, I am so amazingly jealous of your stolen girl scout brownies," he muttered, rolling his eyes and shaking his head. "Unlike you, I actually had breakfast before we left."

"He wanted to fuck it first," Yugi commented suddenly, not even realizing he was speaking out loud until all of them turned to him, his voice rising a little to the point that he sounded like an overly helpful child out of embarrassment. "But I convinced him to eat it instead."

Bakura burst out laughing and Malik snickered, both of them smirking at their cousin who squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head.

"Is that what I walked in on?"

"And you wonder why I never leave you with them," Seto huffed, glancing at his little brother who's gray eyes widened, flickering from the brunet to Yami and back again.

"It was a conversation! You walked in on a conversation," Yami hissed, annoyed.

"Didn't look like that when you had your pants down," Solomon quipped.

Yami went to argue that he would only be so lucky if he had walked in on that, but then Yugi blinked and tilted his head, mumbling, "But I didn't see Excalibur."

The taller teen's eyes nearly popped out of his head as he gaped at his boyfriend. "Yugi!"

The smaller blushed furiously and looked at him, swallowing hard and ducking his head, mumbling a small squeak of an apology while Malik's eyebrows shot up and he asked, "Wait…so you actually named your dick?"

Seto rubbed his temples. "Christ."

Yugi spun on him, eyes wide as he cried, "You named yours too?!"

Malik choked on his brownie, looking somewhat hurt as he cried, "Shit. Are we all doing this? Because no one told me."

Bakura patted his shoulder. "Don't worry. No one told me either."

The blond nodded a little, seemingly comforted by the simple statement, and Yami stared at them for a second before his attention was redirected to the brunet who was officially looking at his boyfriend, asking, "Are you sure I can't talk you into coming to the business meeting instead? I swear I'll pay you—"

"If I have to go, he does too," Yami interrupted immediately, frustrated.

"You're only going in the first place because he made you agree to it," Seto reminded him, rolling his eyes and shaking his head.

"If you pay him to go to the business meeting…Take me with you!" the red-eyed teen demanded, pursing his lips.

"You would think women are poisonous with the way he always tries to avoid them," Solomon remarked, rolling his eyes and shaking his head.

"Pussy and poisonous both start with a P," Yugi blurted out, eyes widening drastically. "Poisonous pussy…"

"Oh gods, Yugi—"

"It sounds like a super villain name!" the small teen cried, grabbing his boyfriend's arm to get his attention, excitement glimmering in his eyes. "Look, Batman, it's Poisonous Pussy!"

Yami blinked and blushed violently, his entire neck taking up the hue as he looked at him for a moment; for fuck's sake…

"Wait…! Why does he get to be Batman?! I want to be Batman!"

The red-eyed teen turned to him slowly. "Don't you dare go Robin my thunder."

"You have got to be kidding me," Seto spat.

"I can't even begin to tell you how annoying you are," Malik muttered, wrinkling his nose.

"I'm such a Bane in the ass, huh?"

"Seriously, Yami?"

"You'll never be Batman because I'm Batman and you're asking for Wayne too much if you think you can beat me at these puns because I've Gotham all."

"Fuck off," Malik snapped in frustration.

"I'm Alfred your jealousy disgusts me."

"I blame this on you," Seto snarled, pointing at Yugi who blushed furiously.

"I'm Harvey to blame." His eyes widened as he paused and looked at Yami. "Oh my gods."

Yami waggled his eyebrows. "You're such a Joker."

"Puns are the bane of my existence," Yugi huffed, eyes widening as he realized he had just pulled another one, grabbing at his hair. "Gods why?!"

"They're contagious like Poison Ivy."

Seto grabbed his face, pushing on his cheeks to the point that it hurt, snarling, "Yami, listen to me now. I still have three months before you start this shit up. You continue with the puns and I swear I'm going to shove my foot so far up your ass that you won't be able to walk straight."

Yami blinked and went to reply but Yugi beat him to it when he blurted out, "Violent foreplay!" which made both of them freeze and stare at him in shock while he scrunched his face up and shook his head.

"…I am honestly kind of afraid of what the fuck you're into."

"Kinky," Bakura snickered.

"All the fun in the bedroom!" Yugi announced a little too loudly; several bystanders looked over in shock and stared while the small teen hung his head and wondered why the floor wouldn't open up for him.

"Damn Yami," Malik snorted, smirking and raising his brows. "He's going to be a hellcat in the sheets."

"Fuck me," Yami whined pitifully.

"I thought I saw something odd with one of our engines as we started to pull out," the pilot announced over the intercom system; Yami glanced up from where he had been fiddling with his gum wrapper, having folded it into a miniscule swan that looked pathetic and pregnant with the many lines that made up its stomach.

And that was why he fucking sucked at origami.

Well, at least now he remembered why he never tried again after that first pathetic attempt.

"I hate this fucking airline! I've been late twice in the past few months, and they still can't get their fucking act together. So now we're going to be late all over again!" the passenger behind him spat angrily. "They need to get this fucking show on the road!"

Yami turned his head to tell him to shut up—as nicely as he could—because, honestly, he was stressed enough without his bullshit added to it; he didn't want to go to the states. He didn't want to have to celebrate that stupid holiday. Genocides shouldn't be celebrated as far as he was concerned and—wait, why was Bakura…?

He snickered as his brown-eyed cousin tried to knock the pan out of Malik's hand, hissing, "Come on, Malik! I'm fucking starved."

"Fuck off. This last one is mine," the blond snapped, trying to push him away.

"You little shit!" Bakura snarled.

"I paid for them! The last one is mine!"

"You're such an ass!"

"Get your own gourmet girl scout brownies!"

"No! I want that one!"

"Fuck you! It's mine!"

Across the aisle he saw Seto rolling his eyes and hissing, "Fucking morons" and Yami smirked, chuckling softly and gaining him a curious glance from Yugi who blinked in shock at Bakura and Malik trying to push each other out of their seats and into the aisle, growling and shoving and glaring at each other.

"Two idiots next to me are fighting over a fucking brownie," Yugi heard the man behind them sneering into the phone, glancing at him in the small gap between his and Yami's seat and then looking towards Seto who was watching him from the corner of his eye.

"Because the fucking flight is delayed," he snapped, pausing. "Oh yeah, no shit Sherlock."

Yugi pursed his lips and turned away again, glancing at Yami and then Seto as the brunet turned towards his cousin and mumbled, "You still have some of that gum, Yami?"

"Huh?" Yami asked, confused by the sudden question and mesmerized by Bakura and Malik pulling at each other's hair and trying to tear the brownie pan out of the other's hands; how the fuck had they even managed to get that on the plane in the first place? He shook his head; Bakura had done it somehow… "Oh, uh, yeah…"

"I'm pretty sure the two guys in the aisle seats in front of me are fucking."

Yugi blinked and glanced at the cousins, shaking his head in confusion; how did you get sex out of asking for gum?

"This is Japan, you idiot! You can never tell with these people."

Yami handed over a stick of gum and Seto went about unwrapping it and putting it in his mouth, leaning back in his seat and crossing his arms.

"Okay, so we're spraying gas from our number two engine and I've called the mechanics to come look at it and see if it's serious, or is something that can be fixed. I'm afraid there will be about a half hour delay while we determine what's going on with the engine—"

"Half hour fucking delay. Bullshit."

Yami blew a bubble and Yugi impulsively reached over and popped it, both of them startled by the way that it wrapped around his fingernail and refused to come off, sticking to Yami's mouth and making him frown in puzzlement; they swapped looks and burst out laughing before trying to sort themselves out again.

"Your fucking airline is such a piece of shit! I've been working hard for two days and I need to get home to my wife"—Yugi was pretty sure he was spitting it out so harshly purely for their benefit, which made Yami bristle next to him while the smaller teen merely turned away again and looked towards the front—"and now this fucking flight is delayed! My time is valuable, you know!"

"I'm very sorry, sir. We prefer to be safe and hopefully it will be something easily fixed," the female attendant standing beside Yami's seat stated quietly.

"Always excuses! You people are such a bunch of fuck ups! My wife is going to be livid when she finds out we're delayed. Get that fucking mechanic out here now, and get this fucking piece of shit plane moving! This fucking pilot is making me late! I've got places to be!"

"'Oh, but the plane ride will be fun'," Yami hissed at him, making him blush and duck his head. "'Don't fuck the pancakes, Yami, the ride won't be that stressful.'"

Yugi blinked and turned his head, confused; he hadn't said that…

The taller teen immediately burst out laughing at his expression of wide eyes and furrowed brows, pursed slightly parted lips, and a head tilted to the side in shock.

"Everyone on this plane has somewhere to be, sir. I daresay that the pilot would like nothing more than to be done with this flight and getting to bed. I and the rest of the crew would like to get through this flight and go to bed as well. I am going to be late getting home to my own family."

"I'm an important businessman"—Yami and Seto swapped looks, smirking a little at the statement before turning away again—"and I need to get home! Your screw up is the fucking problem and I'm going to file a complaint against this goddamned airline. Who cares about you idiots, anyways? You're just a bunch of pathetic losers who can't even make a goddamn plane work! You all work for a fuck up airline and I'm never going to fly with this bullshit airline again, because I won't get in until after the fucking holidays at this rate! Thanks for screwing up my Thanksgiving, you stupid assholes! You all can take your fucking airline and shove it!"

All right, he was done with this.

Yami spun around just as Yugi went to try to stop him, leaning over the back of the seat and snarling, "Look, you dumb piece of shit, this is a mechanical problem. And that crew you just called a bunch of pathetic losers? They are doing everything they can to resolve it. Now stop acting like such a whiny little bitch to the attendant because she's in the same boat as the rest of us." He narrowed his eyes and pressed further into the seat, gripping so tightly in an effort not to leap over and bash his head in that his knuckles turned white. "And I am sick of listening to you fucking whine and swear about you being late."

Yugi winced and peeked over the back of the seat to find that the businessman was gaping like a fish and Yami looked ready to skewer him.

"You see him? That's Seto Kaiba, as in the biggest name in Japan right now. Do you see him bitching? No. Know why? Because he's not a pretentious little shit like you. We're all going to be late, okay? We would all rather be late than wind up dead when we land at our destination because the engine fucking self-destructs and we fall out of the fucking sky because someone decided to listen to your shit and rush the job because of an entitled 'important businessman', understand? Good."

Yugi bit back a laugh and ducked back behind the seat again, covering his mouth with his hand and shaking his head slowly while his boyfriend continued staring him down before huffing and taking a seat again.

Seto glanced back at his other two cousins to find that they were gaping and snickering at Yami's outburst, the brunet leaning over the back and snatching the pan from their grip before they could actually think about it; for a moment they stared in confusion and then Bakura mumbled, "What…the fuck?"

"Hey! Give that back!"

"No. I'm don't with listening to your squabbling. You would think that the two of you were fucking animals. It's my brownie now, damn it."

Mokuba sized it up for a moment; it would definitely fit in his mouth.

Bakura's eyes nearly popped out of his head. "…Yours?" he sniped. "More like Mokuba's."

Seto glanced at his little brother and rolled his eyes before tossing the pan back at them without turning around. "Well then, that's resolved."

Yami blinked and then spun around again, pointing at him, "Oh, and your little theory about us? Wrong. Seto Kaiba is my cousin. Thank you."

"Um…well, when we get back we can go to the art museum and you can make out with me," Yugi offered, humming thoughtfully as they started to pack things into the car that Solomon was renting.

"We're not allowed to do that," Yami said, scowling.

"What? Yeah we are—"

"No! We're not allowed to touch the masterpieces!"

Yugi blinked in shock, eyes widening drastically, and blushed hard enough that he was convinced anyone passing by would mistake his face for a stop sign.

"Now that boy deserves to get laid!" Solomon stated, pointing at Yami and snapping his fingers while both teens glanced over and the taller nudged him playfully, snickering while Yugi ducked his head.

"Okay, so you two need to go to the bathroom," the elderly Motou stated suddenly; Yami and Yugi swapped looks and the taller blinked as he asked, "Are you asking if we need to—?"

"No, I'm saying that you do need to because if you try to make me pull over for you to piss, I am going to make you pay me five hundred dollars, got it, pretty boy?"

"Five hundred dollars…to take a piss?"

"Don't challenge him," Yugi whispered in his ear, shaking his head immediately. "He always does this with road trips. If they take more than three hours, he's really impatient to get there, so he'll make sure that we suffer if you push him."

Yami stared at him for a moment. "What kind of fucking craziness is this?"

"Just come on. We need to go pee."

"But I don't have—"

"Yes, Yami, you do," Yugi stated firmly, leading him away by the hand; Yami glanced over his shoulder towards the elderly man who smirked and waved them off before heading over to one of the stores for something to eat.

"Are you fucking shitting me right now?" Yami asked as they stood in the bathroom and Yugi tried to coax him into peeing using the water faucet, gesturing towards the stalls vigorously and refusing to acknowledge the urinals, frowning in frustration.

"No, Yami, Grandpa is not one to be late—especially to Arthur's or on holidays. But mostly to Arthur's."

"Ra, what the fuck is Arthur to Solomon? Did they date or something?"

Yugi's entire face turned red. "We don't talk about college!"

Yami felt his mouth drop, gawking at him before throwing his head back and laughing. "Shit."

"Don't tell Grandpa I told you," he squeaked, covering his mouth with his hands for a second. "He's not going to be happy if you know about their…time together."

"Why?"

Yugi shook his head slowly and turned the faucet on again at its highest pressure. "Please just…try to go pee or something."

Yami opened his mouth and then huffed, rolling his eyes and heading into the stall. "I don't have to go pee."

"Try."

"This sucks."

"I know."

"I knew you were trying to punish me for something," he commented wryly, glancing at him through the gap between the door and the wall and bristling; holy fucking shit, that was like…an inch big! And Americans called that privacy?

He shuddered and bit back a hiss of dissatisfaction.

"I'm not trying to punish you!" Yugi pleaded, blushing and ducking his head. "I just…I get so lonely on the way there and back. Grandpa isn't really one for small talk while he's driving…"

"Probably imagining college," Yami snickered.

"Don't say that in front of him!" the smaller teen cried, voice desperate but bubbling with laughter all at once. "You can't say something like that in front of him."

"What the hell, Yugi? Calm down," he muttered. "I got it the first time."

Yami wiggled Excalibur a couple of times but nothing happened, making him huff in annoyance; he didn't have to go pee. And this sucked.

"It's just…I don't know. I think he still…likes him like that but if you say something about it, he gets really, really, really mad…"

"Cute. He's like an eight-year-old with a crush."

"Y—wait, what?"

"Nothing."

"Yami…"

"I promise it was nothing. I mean, it was nothing bad, anyways. Calm down, I won't talk to Solomon about Arthur…"

Half an hour later after Yugi finally managed to somehow make him go pee—Yami still wasn't sure how the hell that happened because it shouldn't have; he thought maybe it was the power of suggestion, especially after the smaller teen started peeing too and frowned at his idea of making a game with aiming—they were in the car with Yami in the front seat and Yugi in the back middle, sitting with his hands in his lap and his grandpa occasionally glancing at him with the rearview mirror.

"We're going to stop and get gas," Solomon announced, turning into a little parking lot where Yugi frowned slightly but scrambled out when his grandpa gave him the cash to go inside; he still wasn't sure how the hell the whole gas pump thing worked in America, so he didn't ask, instead taking the money and wandering inside without a second glance.

"So, Yami, have you ever pumped gas before?"

The red-eyed teen glanced at him for a long moment; was this some kind of test or something? Was he trying to figure out if he was a wimp?

"Once or twice," he finally mumbled.

"Good, then get out there and start pumping."

The teen stared at him for a second, studying him momentarily, smirked in disbelief, and got out, wandering over and looking at the numbers on the side, finding the one that said it was paid for and undoing the cap to the ugly little silver beetle.

"So, now that we have a minute alone—"

Yami glanced up to find that he was leaning out the passenger window, watching him with his elbows behind where the glass was just barely up, chin in his hands.

"—when do you plan to pop my grandson's cherry?"

"…What?"

"I already know that you haven't done it yet or Yugi wouldn't have been all blushes earlier when I said you should get laid," he snorted, smirking at him as Yami raised a brow. "He would have blurted it out that you two had already played connect the parts."

The teen bristled slightly but bit back the retort on his tongue, instead narrowing his eyes. "So, Yami, when do you plan to play connect the parts with my grandson?"

Yami glanced at the hose and then back, eyes drifting towards the sliding doors for a second before turning back. "I don't know. When did you first have sex with Yugi's grandmother?" he asked, fighting back the urge to ask about Arthur.

"We were eighteen—both of us, which is why I will say this once. You can fuck him only if you're both the same age. Otherwise, you best keep your little dong away from my grandson."

"I wonder if Arthur would agree to that," he snickered under his breath.

"What did you say?"

"I said I wonder if Yugi would agree to that."

Solomon remained silent for a moment. "He already did. In fact, he once agreed with his mother than he would stay a virgin his whole life if she would give him a slice of pie."

Yami blinked and blanched; oh goddamn it.

"Then I guess I'm never getting laid," Yami commented quietly, pursing his lips and glancing towards the sliding door; where the fuck was Yugi? He needed to find out what pie he loved and bribe him into agreeing to have sex with him despite his statement about being a virgin for the rest of his life.

Yugi was currently standing in front of the doors where Yami and Solomon could see him, staring at the cookies, wondering if he wanted Ritz or Oreos or both. Or should I get a slushie? Instead of them…? Maybe ice cream? Or soda? Honestly, the small teen had no idea whether he was actually hungry or thirsty. The thought of choosing was becoming ridiculously hard.

Yami tipped his head thoughtfully. What kind of pie would Yugi love so much that he would make such a…horrible, horrible life-changing agreement to for just one slice?

"And here he was saying that you were a pervert."

The teen stared at him for a moment. "Goddamn it, he really does blurt out everything, doesn't he?"

"Actually, that was when he came home from San Francisco and said that he had been molested in public by—and I quote—the 'most beautiful boy who looked like him and made him so completely narcissistic that he wanted to go to a communion and change his ways.'"

Yami narrowed his eyes; what the fuck was a communion?

And should he respond if he didn't know?

"He thinks I'm the most beautiful boy?" he mumbled instead, surprising both of them with the excitement in that single question; Ra, Yugi made him turn into a girl. He cleared his throat slightly. "Anyways, what kind of pie was it that he swore his virginity to?"

Solomon stared at him for a long minute. "You make it sound like he pulled what you did with those pancakes."

"You. Walked in. On. A conversation!" he ground out. "I swear, Solomon, you walked in on a freaking conversation!"

"Mmhmm," he drawled. "Sure."

Yami sighed loudly. "I'm going to go see how my boyfriend is doing because, really, he shouldn't still be in there," he announced, glaring at the ground and huffing as he trudged off towards the sliding doors.

Solomon was watching him go when he heard a thud somewhere in the back of the car; he pulled the trigger on the glove compartment and pulled out the crowbar he had stashed there, heading back and undoing the trunk, ready to hit a wild animal just hard enough to knock it unconscious and then throw it into the woods, and stopped short.

"Aw, fucking hell," he muttered.

"Sunlight!" one of them screeched while the other yowled loudly and tried to burrow into the back of the seat, snarling, "I'm burning!"

He lowered the crowbar to the ground and stared at them. "It's a miracle that Seto has such flat hair."

The silver-haired one hissed and recoiled, spitting, "Back off, mortal! Or we'll be forced to show you how dangerous we children of the night are!"

"Too much light!" the blond wailed. "Too much light! I'm burning!"

Solomon watched them for a moment and then snickered. "Hippie lettuce." He paused, glancing at the doors where he could see that Yami was wandering out of the bathroom. "If you promise to keep quiet, I'll give you twenty bucks…and some more weed."

Both of them hissed loudly, swapped looks, and then suddenly nodded eagerly at him.

"All right," he snickered, smirking before glancing at the gas station again and finding that the taller teen was now looking for his tiny grandson; he pulled out the two twenties and a small bag of green that he tossed into the trunk with them. "I want to see how Yami handles this."

"Oh, dude! I have a cousin named Yami!" Malik cried.

Bakura turned to him with shocked eyes, gaping. "I do too!"

"And…apparently vampires swap brain cells for immortality."

Both of the "vampires" swapped looks and hissed again, trying to fold back into the trunk with no success.

"Close the trunk, human!"

"My hand will never be the same…"

Solomon snorted a laugh and slammed the trunk. "Ah, morons." He glanced up and grinned; so Yami had finally spotted Yugi.

"Yugi, I think your grandfather is crazy," Yami whispered as he got to his side; the smaller teen looked between the cookies and then the candies, frowning with his bottom lip slightly jutted out.

"Hey, which do you think I should get?"

The taller teen was about to say whatever he wanted but then stopped short, glancing in between the products and turning back with wide eyes. "Yugi…you just listed off this entire aisle!"

"No! I didn't list off Tootsie Rolls!" Yugi cried, appearing almost offended.

"Well, no shit. They're disgusting!"

"Duh. That's why I don't like them."

"Yugi…"

"Yeah?" he asked, turning his attention solely on him again.

"Your grandfather is fucking nuts."

"Um, Yami…Why are you whispering?" he demanded, turning around with wide eyes and then glancing back and forth, blinking a few times.

"I feel like he might have bugged me or something," he admitted, glancing over his shoulder again and shivering slowly.

Yugi grinned. "Paranoid much?"

"It's like all my sanity is being sucked away the longer I'm around him….That normally only happens when I'm around my cousins…"

"Are you saying that my grandpa is like Bakura and Malik?"

"I…uh…No…?"

"You sound so sure," Yugi teased, laughing as he tried to debate which candy would be better.

"…Sorry?" Yami replied weakly, blushing slightly.

"Hmm…what would you do to make it up to me?"

"Depends…How offended are you?"

"My blood is boiling," Yugi said immediately, looking at him and seeing the skepticism before blushing and turning away again. "But I'll forgive you…for one of each of these."

"Aw, fuck me! Really, Yugi?"

"Yes…?"

"…You'll get fat."

"Maybe it'll go south for me then," Yugi muttered, frowning and tilting his head. "Like with girls."

"…But you're cute enough with your little bubble butt," Yami whined, glancing at his butt pointedly and then towards his face and back.

Yugi blinked and blushed. "Bubble butt?" he echoed, eyes widening before grinning. "You think I've got a bubble butt?"

"Yes and if you eat too much, you'll ruin it and—"

"Who said anything about it going there?"

"Where else would it…?" Yami's eyes widened, excited as he looked down at his crotch and grinned. "We'll have to check every hour to see if it's working."

"Pervert."

"You started it!"

"…Every hour…that's a little much…isn't it?"

Yami choked and gawked at him while Yugi laughed and started grabbing sweets off the racks.

"God, you're just trying to kill me, aren't you?"

Yugi grinned at him playfully over his shoulder and then led the way over to the counter.

The car broke down.

Several miles away from the house.

Yami sucked with cars.

Yugi knew nothing about them in the first place.

Solomon had fun snickering at their expense as he teased them about their lack of knowledge; for ten minutes all they did was suffer through his jokes and then finally he shooed them off and said there was some kind of festivities going on somewhere or other in some general direction.

The two of them had been wandering around for only five minutes when Yugi spotted the lights and dragged him along, practically bouncing every step; Yami had never been to an actual festival.

Because he hated crowds.

They made him…something akin to claustrophobic.

But not like he couldn't breathe.

It was more like…it made him mean.

None of them knew what personal space was, none of them knew boundaries, none of them bothered to apologize when they ran into each other, none of them seemed to care that some of them yelled and got rambunctious and little children were watching it go on.

Worse than that was the children themselves.

He hated kids.

With a passion.

Which was probably why Yugi was laughing so hard when a little girl ran into his leg and then bolted when Yami glared her down; Yugi nudged him, telling him to be nice, and Yami glared before wandering off and shaking his head with the announcement that he wanted something to eat.

"You ate like twenty pancakes!" Yugi whined, following after him immediately; there were bright lights and stupid turkey cutouts around off to the sides. There were turkey dolls around and—

"I have a fast metabolism. I eat a lot. You can't handle it, back off!"

Yugi shook his head, smiling and fighting back the urge to laugh out loud; he had just as high metabolism as Yami and yet he was still full, but that could have been because he was trying to make sure he had room for the turkey when they got to Rebecca's house.

"Turkey legs. Turkey legs for sale…"

Yami stopped short, turned his head, and stared at the man with the entire tub of turkey legs; they had a nice aroma, or maybe that was from the other turkey meals that they were selling…

Or wait, there was no one else selling turkey…was there?

He glanced around and spotted pies, cotton candy, popcorn, the necessities of a fun festival, but when he turned back, there were definitely no other sources of turkey, which meant that this turkey…it smelled fucking amazing.

"How much for—?"

"Yami, no," Yugi said immediately, grabbing his arm. "You'll have turkey when we get to Rebecca's."

"But I'm hungry now!" he argued, starting to whine slightly.

"So let's go get some nice cotton candy and—"

"Hey, kid, if he wants some turkey, let him have some turkey."

Yugi pursed his lips and stared; he liked to believe in the fact that everyone had something good about them, that there was something redeemable. He liked to see the good in everyone.

But this homeless man trying to poison his boyfriend was making that really fucking hard to do.

"Back off," he hissed, grabbing Yami's arm. "If you buy that turkey, we're breaking up."

The taller teen froze and gawked at him. "Ra, are you that desperate for me to enjoy a holiday I don't celebrate?" he cried, throwing his arms up.

"You two are together?"

Both of them glanced over and Yugi knew he was hearing things but his mind still kind of shuffled and stumbled and supplied him with the homeless man making a crude remark about homosexuality and their breakup.

One that went along the lines of "Hey, if he doesn't want to date you anymore, you can replace him easily with this turkey leg. Probably bigger and thicker than him anyways…"

He grabbed Yami hard enough to bruise and the red-eyed teen looked stunned out of his mind as the smaller boy sank his fingers into his flesh harder and growled, "Yami, I'm serious. I'll break up with you if you fucking buy one of those. They're probably deadly and—"

"Hey! Don't knock my product!"

"—Yami, I don't want you to die!"

He choked, half wanting to laugh and half expecting to sob with just shock at the entire situation; he was half convinced that Yugi had gone stir-crazy in the car and was now so elated to have fresh air—or mostly fresh, considering the turkey aroma—that he was just blurting out random things.

"I…I…Ra, Yugi."

"Please, Yami, let's go get some candy and popcorn and a few drinks and play some games and then we won't have to worry about poisonous turkey legs that a homeless man is selling at a fair…"

The taller teen stared for a long minute and then looked around; was he being punked or was Yugi actually serious right now?

"It's not poisonous! It's fresh—"

"I wouldn't trust you as a safe distributor if my life depended on it," Yugi hissed, clinging a little harder and making Yami gasp in pain. "Now back off!"

Yami blinked once, held his hands up, and immediately followed the smaller boy until they reached a maze of mirrors and ended up having to split up to complete the challenge; the red-eyed boy tried to talk him out of it but Yugi ignored him and both of them ended up banging into the walls and stumbling until neither of them could function right anymore.

Yugi literally ran into him so hard that the disoriented boy went flying and both of them landed in a heap with him staring at the taller who glared at him playfully, muttering, "If you wanted to be on top, Yugi, all you had to do was ask."

The blue-violet-eyed boy blushed violently and jumped to his feet, wired and looking around for the exit, laughing, "This is a lot easier on TV than it is in real life."

"Everything is easier on TV," Yami grunted, not bothering to get up yet. "Can we get food now?"

He opened his mouth to argue that they would get food soon enough but he could see that he was tired and when he didn't answer immediately, the taller boy's stomach growled so loudly that he flinched and stared.

"God, have you never heard a hungry yeti before?" Yami hissed, rolling over and climbing to his feet, dusting himself off and turning back. "I promise I'll be hungry by the time we get there! Please, just give me food!"

Yugi blushed and kissed his forehead. "Okay, come on."

Yami thought that corndogs were the most disgusting thing he had ever put in his mouth, especially when combined with mustard; he didn't really know why he had thought that would be a good combination, especially when Yugi muttered that the corndogs were beef and he spat it all out in the trashcan, wandered into one of the bathrooms and scraped his tongue until it bled some, and the fact that he hated mustard in the first place should have been a tip off as well. He had filled his stomach with cotton candy afterwards, washing his mouth out with soda every once in a while to get rid of the aftertaste of beef and mustard and that covering of corn on the corndog.

"Why ride a rollercoaster when you could ride me?" Yami mumbled, pouting as they waited in line and Yugi watched the cart going so fast that it made his eyes strain for a split second.

"Because rollercoasters can actually make me scream," Yugi replied dismissively before both of them froze and swapped looks, eyes wide.

"You hate me."

"No, I just…oh my gods, I need to stop talking."

"You haven't even given me the chance to make you scream and you already say I can't do it," he hissed unhappily, rolling his eyes and shaking his head before glancing around. "You hate me and this relationship is toxic."

Yugi blinked wide eyes and threw his arms around his neck. "No it's not! I don't hate you! I like you—a lot"—he didn't miss the way that Yami's eyes narrowed into slits—"and this is an awesome relationship."

The taller teen studied him for a second and then kissed his forehead before turning away and looking up at the rollercoaster again; oh gods, yep, he already knew he was going to be sick. He glanced at Yugi who looked so excited that he was going to jump at any second, and then back at the rollercoaster; he could do this. For Yugi.

Emptying his stomach out was a small price to pay for him being happy.

He nodded slightly to himself, steeling his resolve, and waited until the line finally started moving again. He studied the steep incline and swallowed hard before glancing away again; heights weren't a problem, but the shit that he had just put in his stomach most definitely was…

He let Yugi continue with his excitement, bouncing back and forth on his feet in exhilaration before turning back to him and then to the coaster; Yami watched the car dip and tilted his head. This…was going to be bad.

Five minutes of speed.

He could handle that…

They got into the front, something that made Yami's skin crawl; he had been on two rollercoasters before in his life and the fun of it seemed to be pretty lost on him. Most of the time he got the rush when he was first seated but the rest of it was extremely lacking.

And now he was so buzzed and excited, his skin seeming to vibrate over his bones, that he was startled when Yugi grabbed his hand and laced their fingers together, bouncing in his seat.

Well, at least one of them would have fun.

The first time his stomach twitched was when they got up to the top and the violent dip had his insides curdling and twisting and shifting like fire, bile rising into his throat but doing nothing else to bother him. Yugi let out an excited cry and Yami winced at the feel of his hand squeezing his because it momentarily distracted him from the task of making sure he didn't spill his guts just yet.

The second ride was brought on by someone else who demanded another trip around and Yami barely managed to hold on until they got out of the gates again; Yugi looked at him in alarm, saw the color to his face, and tried to drag him along a few feet towards the port-a-potties.

"Okay, okay, come on, I think the bathrooms are this way—" Yugi started, flinching when Yami shook his head and tried to push him away, breathing hard and doubling over, opening his mouth and vomiting…

He couldn't help it when he opened and closed his mouth and then choked on a laugh that bubbled up and sounded like an animal coughing up a lung, but it was lost in the noise of the man's screaming while Yami retched harder and Yugi flinched.

A turkey leg hit Yami across the temple and the teen snarled around a mouthful of vomit, spitting at him before retching out another mouthful; another leg hit him across the head and Yugi blinked and gawked when his grandfather laughed, "Shit, I love this boy! You have my blessing to screw Yugi anytime!"

A child wandering by looked up and said, "Look Mommy, he vomited a rainbow!"

"He's a unicorn!" Yugi blurted out immediately, eyes wide.

His grandpa doubled over in laughter. "Shit!"

The small teen covered his face and shook his head slowly, embarrassed and frustrated.

"Fucking hell, he's still going!" Solomon laughed.

The homeless man's skin started to go from pale to a harsh green, leaning forward and vomiting just a loudly as Yami who snarled and grabbed a leg to throw at him after he got hit with another.

"You know, Yugi"—the blue-violet-eyed boy looked away from the two of them with a shake of his head, feeling sick to his stomach now as well—"this is like my first date with your grandmother."

The teen stared in confusion. "But…I thought you took her ice skating."

"Yes."

"Oh gods," Yugi muttered, scrunching his face up and immediately turning to his boyfriend again. "Are you constipated or something?! How can you still be going?!"

Solomon fell over laughing and everyone in the immediate area heard his back crack loudly and his voice groan out, "Ah, my back!"

Yugi glanced between them, torn, and hesitantly went from trying to help his grandpa to focusing entirely on Yami again and then grabbing at his hair in frustration; what the fuck was he supposed to do?

"I don't want one anymore!" Yami snarled, tossing a turkey leg straight into the homeless man's face while Yugi gawked and groaned; the two of them started throwing legs back and forth until finally the teen lost it and tackled him to the ground. A worker tried to throw him off and Yugi smacked his forehead with the palm of his hand when his boyfriend screamed that he would eat him alive if he didn't stop messing with him.

The small teen sighed and grabbed him around the waist, trying to pull him away and failing rather miserably, and all the while his grandfather laughed around groans of pain and somehow managing to make him so terribly guilty that it made him want to be sick. Ugh, everyone was so demanding of his attention.

"Yami, stop it," Yugi hissed, trying to pull him off when he snapped that he would eat him if he didn't stop touching him and someone in the crowd muttered something about how gross that was and how demented his boyfriend was for saying something like that.

"You know, spiders eat other spiders all the time and no one gives a shit when they do it," Yami hissed twenty minutes later as they headed for the car again, Yugi holding a tray of water and Sprite, "so what the fuck?"

"Did you eat someone?" a girl asked from behind him, making Yugi turn around with wide eyes to stare at the blue-eyed female who stood a couple of feet taller than him; he blushed furiously while Yami turned around with a snarl of, "How about you mind your own goddamned business?"

The girl laughed and leaned forward to press a kiss against his cheek while Yugi blurted out, "He just vomited. You're kissing vomit cheeks."

Yami chuckled at the comment and shook his head while the smaller teen blushed and looked away again; he hated it when the girl turned ice blue eyes on him and studied him fiercely for a long moment before turning back to the taller teen.

"My pharaoh," she murmured, smiling and bowing before him for a moment.

"The fuck?" Yami muttered, eyes widening in confusion and blinking before glancing at Yugi and then back. "Did you pay her to do that or something?"

Yugi blinked. "Why would I do that?"

"I don't know! For like…an early Christmas present or just to make me feel better or something? Geez, Yugi, play along with my fantasies a little," he huffed playfully, nudging him with his shoulder.

"Don't touch me," he snickered, pushing him away. "You have homeless man vomit all over your shirt."

Yami opened his mouth to say something slightly sexual but then fell silent immediately, pulling the hem of his shirt out and staring at it with a frown; the massive splotch of dark yellow-orange was still damp and chilled and he hated it which was probably why it made him want to vomit again. And how the fuck had he managed to projectile vomit so nicely? Like, fucking Ra, that was practically perfectly done.

He shook his head slowly and stared at the spot again; he would kill for that kind of aim with projectile vomiting. You could not get that much fucking better.

That was just too amazing.

He didn't know how the fuck he would use that skill, but he definitely wanted it.

Just like he wanted to be able to figure out how the fuck to give himself a blowjob.

Of course, that was self-explanatory though…

"So, um…do I still have to go? I mean, if I have vomit all over me on a fucking holiday, isn't that like…rude or something?" he asked slowly, blinking once and tipping his head. "I mean, everything offends Americans! I could end up offending them so badly that they'll reserve a special place in hell for me or something."

Yugi started laughing. "First of all, Yami, they aren't religious, so really, they don't even do the whole 'You'll go to hell thing' anyways and besides that I don't think—"

"Do you even realize how atheists work?" Yami hissed. "You realize when they have sex, like right before an orgasm, they're all about chanting someone's name and five dollars says it isn't their partner's."

Yugi blushed furiously and then shook his head, hands covering his face. "Why would you put that image in my head like that? I don't know how to respond to that…"

"The proper response to that is that they either say 'god' because they're feigning being holy or they say 'Satan' and show their true colors."

"Yami…I don't think that's how sex works."

"Yugi, I think I know a little bit more about sex than you do."

"I think you underestimate my knowledge about the topic."

"What's the sixty-nine position?"

Yugi stayed quiet for a second and then cleared his throat awkwardly. "I can't believe you're testing me on this. I can't even…"

"See? Ha, I win."

"You don't win, okay? You really don't—"

"My pharaoh"—both of them looked at her as if she had just stepped in on something violently personal and she guessed she had but she honestly didn't care—"I meant to speak with you about something."

Yami tipped his head towards Yugi for a second. "She's so tall you could climb her like a fucking tree," he whispered in his ear, blinking once and grinning widely.

Yugi blushed furiously and blurted out, "She's like a beanstalk. Jack climbed her to find the clan of giants—her clan!" He grabbed Yami's arm with his free hand and jumped slightly, excited out of his mind as his eyes grew wide and he gazed at him intensely. "She's even wearing that dark green clothing like a beanstalk! See, see? She's the beanstalk personified!"

"Aw fucking hell," Yami snickered while the woman looked startled and frustrated by his comment, shaking her head and turning to him immediately, pulling something out her pocket that he snatched from her hands, gawking. "How the fuck did you get my phone?"

"He knocked it out of your pocket when he was trying to—"

"The sixty-nine position means that you and your partner are both doing sexual stimulation with your mouth," Yugi blurted out suddenly, smacking his forehead with his palm. "And normally it's so distracting that you can't even concentrate on being pleasured because you have to try to pleasure them too and then it's like…a war going on in your head and—"

"Who the fuck have you been practicing with?" Yami snarled, eyes wide in shock. "Who the fuck has been stimulating you? I'll cut a bitch!"

"It was on a website," the smaller teen mumbled, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet, frustrated out of his mind. "I don't even know how I got there! I was just trying to use Google!"

"How the fuck did you manage to do that?"

"I forgot the first G," he wailed, eyes watering. "It said to go green and do your neighbors!"

Yami choked on his laughter and nearly threw up again with the force of his guffaws. By Ra, he was really starting to feel a little sick again.

"He knocked it out of your pocket when he was pulling you away from that man," she cut in, stopping both effectively and making them blink in surprise. "Anyways, I just wanted to return it to you."

"Oh, um…thanks…err…"

"Ishizu, my pharaoh."

He stared at her for a second. "Yeah, okay…Ishizu…" He furrowed his brows. "What's with calling me that? I don't get what the fuck that means exactly…"

"I prefer to call you that over…World Champion," she stated, wrinkling her nose as the last two words left her mouth.

Yami tilted his head and then glanced at Yugi and back. "Um…okay then," he muttered awkwardly, clearing his throat and looking around to make sure she wasn't there just to punk him; Americans were known for stupid pranks and shit. He'd seen enough of those stupid Youtube videos to know that.

"Well, um, thank you anyways," he commented, sliding his phone into his pocket and glancing at his shirt for a single second before turning away again, attention immediately on Yugi once more. "You saw a dirty website and you didn't tell me?!"

The small teen blushed furiously. "It was an accident and I—we don't talk about college!"

Yami burst out laughing and shook his head. "I want to talk about college now."

"We don't talk about it!" Yugi blurted out. "We never talk about college."

"But now I want to talk about college."

"He was experimenting!"

"Is that what you did when you missed the first G?"

"My computer sucks!" Yugi wailed, throwing his arms and the tray up. "It did it on purpose! It's a pervert—like you!"

"Don't blame me. Blame your inner perv, Yugi. Embrace him," he whispered enticingly. "Embrace him so that we may make love by moonlight and—"

"Yami!"

"Yes, I will make you chant that shit!"

"Oh my gods," Yugi mumbled, shaking his head and clenching his eyes shut.

"No, there is no god for you! Only me—Yami!"

"I'm the sex god!" he cried, looking at his boyfriend with wide eyes. "I am the sex god! I make everyone hard or wet! You have nothing on me!"

Yami smirked and chuckled, "I'll make you weak."

He let out a low whine and stepped back before glaring. "Shut up."

"No, I don't think I w—"

"All right, you two, why aren't you at the car yet?"

"Do I still have to go if my shirt is fucking covered in vomit?"

Solomon stared at him for a second; now wasn't that a problem? But Yugi would be crushed if Yami didn't go with him and besides that, what the hell would they do with him in the meantime?

"I have some spare clothes, don't worry."

Yami blinked and then looked at Yugi and back. "You're not my size."

"Oh shut up, nimrod," the elder hissed, rolling his eyes and wandering off towards the car. "Just get ready to change clothes and don't bother me."

Yugi blinked slowly; there were the clothes that he had packed and maybe Yami had packed some clothes in his backpack but he didn't think so…

"He's fucking strange," Yami hissed at Yugi who blushed and smiled awkwardly, shrugging; strange as he was, he was still his grandpa and he couldn't argue that he wasn't awesome as could be regardless of his…many quirks.

The taller teen stayed quiet for a moment and then tilted his head. "Then again, you know, once when I was little, I claimed it was a teacher's work day so I wouldn't have to go to school and my mom is so not a fucking idiot so she didn't believe me at all, of course," Yami muttered, looking at the ground and snickering. "But when we got to the school we found out that it really was a work day and it got me thinking that maybe I had super powers and so I started trying to kill classmates with my mind to confirm my theory."

"…Wait, so let me get this straight," Yugi muttered, eyes wide as he looked at him and the other teen glanced over playfully. "You thought you had super powers so you immediately attempted to murder everyone?"

"Go big or go home," the taller snorted, laughing.

"So first you say you'll resort to cannibalism if he doesn't stop throwing turkey legs at you and now you're…telling me that murder is going big…"

"Damn straight."

Yugi laughed and shook his head before turning away and blinking in shock as his grandpa came back with a shirt that looked oddly familiar; he couldn't really place it but it was really nagging at him. Where had he seen that shirt exactly?

Yami's eyes nearly bugged out of his head for a second. "Oh my fucking god…is that Malik's shirt?"

"They were selling them at the airport," Solomon stated simply, rolling his eyes. "Now get changed."

Yami stared at the fabric as he caught it in his hands and then recoiled. "Why does this smell like weed?"

"I think the real question is how you know what weed smells like," the elder said immediately.

The teen blinked and dragged his eyes upwards to stare at him. "Seto's stepbrother has cancer. He likes to smoke weed a lot," he replied slowly, glancing at the shirt and then towards Yugi. "You can't seriously tell me you approve of me showing up at this dinner with a shirt that smells this much like weed…"

"Stop being such a pussy and put the damn thing on."

"Poisonous!" Yugi blurted out, moving away from Yami.

"Ha, see that? Yugi just lost all respect for you. You went from being Batman to Poisonous Pussy," Solomon snickered.

Yami narrowed his eyes, about to ask him how Arthur was in college, but stopped short because he didn't want to get Yugi in trouble. "Really now? You still have yet to explain the smell of this shirt, Solomon," he hissed. "Got something you want to say? Druggy?"

"Grandpa likes to smoke in the trunk," Yugi cried loudly. "He likes to lock himself in there and smoke until he doesn't have anything else to smoke!"

"Yugi!"

"Fucking Ra, what?"

"He once ate it like chewing tobacco but he actually swallowed."

Yami bit back a moan at the way that he stretched the last word out, mind immediately jumping to that wonderful gutter it called its home most of the time. That beautiful, beautiful fucking terrible gutter that was so dank and wonderful that it was definitely his most preferred place when he was unhappy.

Which was probably why he was trying to dive into it and failing miserably as they started to drive again towards Rebecca's.

"So…How do you plan to pop his cherry anyways?"

Yami stopped short and turned his head to stare at him. "What?"

Yugi pressed his face into his hands, rocking back and forth in his seat.

"Oh look, Yugi's already got a rhythm started," Solomon announced, smirking at the red-eyed teen. "See? He's more prepared than you are."

"Pull over, I need to vomit."

"Oh please, you little prude. You can't be serious."

Yami gagged slightly and squeezed his eyes shut; he wasn't sure what the hell he had left in his stomach but it obviously wanted out.

"Please just pull over so I can—"

"We need to talk about this. I have to know what you plan to do with my grandson. We have to plan this carefully so that neither of you ends up so fucked up that no one can recognize you afterwards."

"How does that even work…?"

"You would be surprised…"

"Dear gods, kill me now."

"How is that someone as innocent as Yugi has more balls than you when it comes to the sex talk? See, he's paying attention and everything."

"Osiris, I am fucking begging you," the red-eyed teen hissed. "Kill me now."

"And he said you were a perv. You're a freaking prude."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Yami hissed, "I couldn't hear you over the mind-blowing imaginary sex I was just having with your grandson in my head!"

"I'm too horny to be out in public!" Yugi suddenly blurted out, making his boyfriend turn around in shock while Solomon slammed on the brakes on accident; they skidded for a split second before the car stopped altogether.

Yami blinked once and then took the hint from the smaller boy when his bright blue-violet eyes quickly darted for the door next to him; the teen threw the door open and ran off while Yugi scrambled to get out after him before his grandfather decided to be funny and drive off without the red-eyed boy.

"Wait, what?" Yami asked, confused.

"Where the fuck are they? Malik and Bakura have to be with you and Yugi because they sure as hell aren't here with us and I'm going to kill them."

"What did they do?"

"Don't worry about it. I don't need more than one accomplice. Mokuba will testify that I didn't do it."

"Seto, what the hell are you even talking about?"

"Malik and Bakura—are they with you?!"

Solomon burst out laughing as they started to get out of the car and Yami wiped his hand over his jeans leg to get rid of some of the sweat that had bloomed there from having clenched his fists for that entire twenty minute ride.

"I don't know…Oh my fucking Ra…"

Yugi was about to kill him.

He swore he was about to just tear his grandpa's head off when the trunk popped open and smoke poured out along with the two teens who fell over themselves laughing and mumbling something about how great it was that the sun was down and wouldn't kill them anymore, how amazing immortality was.

"What?"

"Goddamn it, Grandpa!" Yugi screeched, throwing his hands up just as Rebecca and Arthur came outside. "You fucking gave them weed?!"

"Seto, I'm going to have to call you back. I have two idiots to deal with…"

"They are mine, Yami."

"Not unless you can give me a better reason than the one I'm currently taking in."

For a second he didn't get a response and then finally he heard Mokuba screaming something along the lines of "Seto, Seto, look! I can see a unicorn!" in a high-pitched voice that made him flinch.

"Would you like pictures of the chaos he's causing right now or was that enough for you?"

"…If he starts spouting Pokemon, I want pictures and videos," Yami mumbled quietly before quickly hanging up when the brunet started yelling; he slipped his phone into his pocket and blinked a couple of times. "Malik, Bakura…What are you doing here?"

"We were on a vision quest," Bakura snickered, falling over himself while Malik snorted and doubled over, dropping on his stomach and rolling onto his back, humming and spreading his arms and legs out.

"Life is grand, my fuckers," he announced.

Bakura nudged him with his foot. "Don't call me your fucker. You're my fucker."

"I'm older!"

"Dear Ra, the perverseness," Yami grumbled, covering his face with his hand. "You would think they were arguing over who was topping."

"Wait…they're not?" Rebecca asked, wide-eyed as she looked over.

"Incest!" Yugi blurted out, covering his mouth and squeezing his eyes shut. "Damn it."

"Incest?" she repeated slowly.

"Cousins. My cousins…Life is so unfair."

"Oh Jesus fuck…" Rebecca muttered, shaking her head and pinching the bridge of her nose. "How lovely."

"I didn't know they were in the…fucking trunk. How the fuck did they even…?"

"Bakura's a fucking kleptomaniac. He's used to picking locks."

"Oh…"

"Please tell me you at least had fucking snacks in the back or something," the blonde grumbled.

"Ooh, ooh, munchies!" Malik crowed, stretching the last word out and making a popping noise with his lips. "Mm. I wants some!"

Yami smacked his forehead with the heel of his palm. "Fucking Ra."

"Gourmet munchies!" Bakura howled.

"Weed brownies," Yami muttered, wanting to sob. "The stupid girl at the airport wasn't a girl scout. She was selling weed brownies."

"…Girl scouts selling weed brownies…that sounds almost like some kind of plot for world domination," Rebecca commented with a wide grin. "Can you imagine how amazing that would be? A world of fucking stoners that didn't even realize how they became stoners in the first place."

"Don't give them ideas!" the red-eyed teen snapped. "They don't need anymore than the ones they already have!"

"I can lick my nose," Malik said suddenly, smacking his lips and narrowing his eyes, glaring at his nose for a second and then stretching his tongue out.

"Malik, that's not your nose," Yami hissed, growling in frustration while Yugi blushed furiously and shoved him away, eyes wide in shock and a little bit of something akin to horror.

"What? Yeah it was," the blond huffed, blinking and wrinkling his nose before glancing at Yugi. "Are you okay? I think you have a fever…or maybe I'm seeing everything in red…Yami, your eyes are red!"

"All right, that's it! I'm killing you. I'm going to fucking murder you! First you lick my boyfriend's fucking nose and now you're just—I'm going to enjoy this." He grabbed him by the shirt, mindful of the vomit stain, and started to drag him along, barking, "Bakura, come with us!"

"Oh, are we going on a trip?" the silver-haired teen asked in pure excitement. "Shit, yes! Trip time!"

Yugi blinked and struggled for some kind of way to defend them but ended up shouting, "Don't kill them! Seto has the resources to do it easier!"

His red-eyed boyfriend turned his head, staring at him, and then slowly looked away again. "True enough," he commented, rolling his eyes and going about leading the way up the stairs. "Now let's go!"

Yugi scrambled to follow Solomon, Rebecca and Arthur as they headed after him, the four of them stopping at the bottom of the stairs and gawking as they heard the door to the guestroom slam violently.

A scream ripped through the air immediately after and Rebecca mumbled, "Wonder which one that was."

Yugi blinked and shook his head. "Oh my gods. All this…because he licked my nose by accident."

"Your grandpa drugged them too," the blonde laughed, reaching over and tugging on his bang. "So there's the weed thing too."

"You two…smell a little like puke…" Arthur muttered.

"Long story."

"Yugi took that murderer upstairs on a rollercoaster and he tossed his cookies like a bitch when they got back down again."

"Grandpa!"

"What? It's true."

Yugi glared for a second and all of them flinched violently at the sound of furniture being pressed against the wall along with another loud scream that made its way through the air.

"You stupid fucks!" Yami snarled, his voice pronouncing another loud thud of furniture being moved. "You're just lucky that murder is so fucking frowned upon or I'd have your heads!"

Rebecca cringed at the sound of furniture being moved again. "Jesus fuck…"

Yugi flinched. "Oh my god."

"Gods, Yugi. Plural, not singular," his grandfather corrected him with a small nod, ignoring the way that the boy smacked his forehead with his palm and shook his head.

"You know…if you ignore Yami's death threats," Rebecca murmured thoughtfully, tilting her head, "it almost sounds like some kind of hot threesome."

Arthur sighed and shook his head. "I knew I should have censored her TV programs when she was younger."

"I blame exposure to guys. All my male friends. They ruined me."

Something crashed into the wall and Yugi hoped for Arthur's sake that none of the plaster had broken at some point.

"And Tea wonders how I can handle Yami being such a massive perv."

Rebecca grinned and threw her arm around his shoulders. "I prepared you well, didn't I, young grasshopper?"

The boy blushed awkwardly and stared up towards the room as everything went completely silent; either Yami was taking a breather or…

"Wonder if they're actually alive," the blonde commented quietly.

"I…I'll go check," Yugi muttered, blinking as he started for the stairs.

"Yeah, okay. Have fun with that," Rebecca scoffed, rolling her eyes.

He bit his lip; bloody mutilated bodies were so not what he wanted to see before a big meal…

"Yami?"

"Shut the fuck up," his boyfriend spat; for a second he thought maybe he was talking to him but jumped a mile when the teen poked his head out of the room, smiling sweetly and batting his eyelashes. "Hi aibou."

"They're, um…They're not…dead, right?" he commented, frowning.

Yami pulled back and glanced inside the room for a moment, asking, "You guys still alive over there?" to which Yugi heard two soft grunts of confirmation, and then turned back to him. "More or less."

"…I feel like less is the word you meant."

"…Well, we have differing opinions then. I think they might still be too alive—"

"Yami!"

The taller teen held his hands up and opened the door fully for him to walk in but Yugi shied away from it; he didn't want to see any blood. If there was blood, he would be the one to toss his cookies this time around.

"They're fine. Roughed up…violently so, but still completely fine."

"Um…okay, well, uh, I think the timer for the turkey just went off and—"

"Food!" the teen screeched, turning and running down the stairs before he could think straight; Rebecca blinked and followed him into the dining room where the red-eyed boy had found a spot and was currently sitting up and staring at the dishes that were all spread around.

"Well, apparently Yugi told you enough about Thanksgiving that you didn't attack the food yet," she commented quietly, blinking a few times and shaking her head slowly.

Yami huffed softly and took a seat at the table, grabbing a fork and knife and banging the bottoms against the wood. "Food, food, food!" he chanted loudly, humming and practically jumping in his seat as Yugi gawked and his cousins stumbled into the room; he spared them a glare and then turned back with a wide smile. "Sorry for the delay. But I have a zero idiot policy on holidays—it's like a disease. It comes up when you least expect it and—oh yeah! Now I remember what I was going to say. Food, damn it! I want food!"

"We have to say grace first," Arthur murmured as soon as they had settled and Yami was about to dig in; the teen stopped short immediately after he said those words, glancing around the table once and then turning his attention to the cooked bird with narrowed eyes.

"You mean…we aren't eating yet?"

Rebecca's eyebrows shot up, the blonde glancing at Yugi in alarm for a split second while the other teen blinked and squeezed his eyes shut, paling drastically; oh gods, this was not going to be pretty.

"Uh…We have to say what we are thankful for this year and—"

"Fucking Americans," Yami spat, shaking his head before pointing his fork at Bakura and Malik. "Thankful I didn't kill them."

"That's not—"

The fork singled in on Rebecca. "Thankful she got to hear me kick their asses."

The blonde laughed, shrugging and nodding; she had no argument for that one.

"—how any—"

"Thankful that his grandson's boyfriend is not a rapist," he announced, pointing at Solomon.

"—of this—"

Yami pointed the fork at him and glared furiously. "Thankful I don't leap over this fucking table with a knife and stab you for trying to talk over me."

The former archaeologist froze, eyes widening drastically as he found himself speechless; Yugi blushed and wished that he could somehow become a part of the furniture, especially after the fork was pointed at him.

"Thankful that no one died tonight."

He had to admit he had a point though.

Until…

"Thankful for my penis," he announced, pointing the utensil at himself before slamming it against the table. "Now fucking feed me!"

Yami didn't have to think about it to know that all of them were too mortified to make conversation, so they ate in an uncomfortable silence that Yugi looked ready to break several times, only to receive a glare from the red-eyed teen and instantly duck his head again.

"I want baked ziti," Malik announced twenty minutes later after they had all finished and somehow found themselves in the living room, Rebecca having awkwardly asked what they all wanted for Christmas.

"Diabetes?" Yami hissed.

"Baked. Ziti," Malik argued, dragging the words out as if he were slow.

"Die-a-bee-tees," Yami retorted, following his example of enunciation.

Yugi blinked once and then twice before frowning at his boyfriend in puzzlement, his blonde best friend speaking up for him when she asked, "What the fuck is 'baked ziti'?" while the blue-violet-eyed boy shook his head and shrugged.

"It doesn't exist," his boyfriend stated, leaning back against the cushions and looking at his nails. "Baked ziti means diabetes."

"You're trying to kill your cousin, aren't you?" he mumbled softly, blinking a few times.

"You have no proof!" Yami snapped, pointing at him with a wild look to his eyes. "No. Proof. No fucking proof. None. What. So. Ever."

Yugi couldn't help it when he burst out laughing, shaking his head and hugging him tightly. "If we have to, we can just bury them in the backyard. I'll help you clean the house and everything like that," he whispered in his ear, nodding against his neck a second later as he started to get tired.

"I knew I loved you for a reason."

Yugi stiffened for a second and then burrowed into his side, frowning as he mumbled against his skin while Arthur and Solomon made a point of trying to coax them all back over to the table with pumpkin pie; apparently they wanted to have a small bit of tradition that hadn't been broken by Yami's rude behavior earlier.

"Do you really?"

"Do I really what?"

"…Love me."

"…Are you really asking me that?"

"You don't think you're going to find someone better?"

Yami blinked and turned his head, raising a brow while Solomon said something about leaving them after spending a minute trying to whistle to get their attention and failing drastically, just barely managing to call it quits before the red-eyed teen would have ended up flipping him off and snapping at him to leave them alone.

"No way."

"You really don't think you'll ever find someone…b-better?" Yugi mumbled, swallowing hard and trying to look at him. "B-because…if you do…"

Yami blinked and burst out laughing when he trembled against him and Yugi recoiled, eyes wide, alarmed out of his mind before the taller teen grabbed him in a tight hug. "'Better?' Bullshit. I can't do 'better'," he snorted, laughing harder before laying his chin on his head. "There is no 'better', Yugi."

The smaller teen blinked a few times, about to argue, blushing at his next words.

"I love you, little one."

"I—I—Yami…"

"You don't have to say it just because I did. Just wanted to point it out to you, aibou," he chuckled, pausing and tilting his head. "Say it when you're ready."

"…A-and if I'm never ready?"

He cringed. "Then…I guess I'll just have to record you saying 'I', 'love', and 'you' and edit it to make it sound natural, put in a loop on an mp3 file and listen to it every night before bed."

"…Every night before bed?" Yugi asked, eyes widening further and blinking in shock as shifted slightly in his grip.

"Go big or go home, Yugi. Go big. Or go home."

Yugi started laughing just as Yami pulled back to kiss his forehead, blinking before narrowing his eyes and whispering, "Not now, boner!"

"Oh my gods," the smaller snickered, hugging him tightly again.