The Distraction

by YamiYugiPuzzleshipper

Yami would do anything for his little sister Mana so when she sees a purse she wants but can't have, he comes up with the perfect distraction involving the cutest boy he has ever seen.

5. Christmas Dilemma

All right, so Christmas is next on the list! And then, of course, New Year's Day.

Note: I tried to make the duel disk system a little more realistic with the holograms and stuff like that. Um, I guess there's a spoiler...a Christmas spoiler, in here? The Duel System used is Battle City or closely-related to it? I don't know, it's been a while. Also, Timaeus and his brothers do NOT look the same as they do in the anime or in fanart so Timaeus doesn't look like Yami but with teal instead of red and yellow hair. And Critias and Helmos have the same kind of style of hair (flat) but they're not the same colors so, just keep that in mind. If they looked the same, it would have ruined the entire plot. Besides, you guys have no actual proof that they looked like that BEFORE they were turned into cards so yeah.

Warning! There is a small bit of jokes about religions and such but nothing too horrible, and it shouldn't offend anyone. I just wanted to play around a little and it definitely worked. So just remember that no offense was meant and have fun.

Disclaimer: I so don't own anything Yu-Gi-Oh related.

The Distraction Christmas Dilemma

Her eyes still creeped him out.

Especially when she was like this.

He swallowed and gestured vaguely and Yami came around the side of the tree, humming a little Christmas jingle that made him want to scratch his eyes out; the red-eyed teen paused for a second, glanced over at her, and then grinned widely.

The tree hadn't been decorated just yet but there were a few spare snowflakes hung up and a little bit of beads, none of the lights or even really ornaments but one or two, and, apparently…the cat.

Milky Way was grasping one of the branches and leaning upside down, eyes wide as she stared at them, almost as if she hadn't expected to get caught; Yugi had been staring at her for a whole ten minutes now because she hadn't moved from that spot the entire time and it made his skin crawl.

She was the sweetest cat, but those eyes.

He shuddered slightly and ignored it when Yami rubbed her upside down head, murmuring, "Well, hello there" while she purred and then dropped delicately to the ground, twisting in that way that cats did to land on her paws, padding off again.

But that wasn't the only time she messed with the tree.

No, Yugi counted eleven times altogether.

One time he was helping Yami place some presents under the tree after his mom requested it and he was about to put one down only to sit up some and gawk as he spotted the black and silver-furred she-cat laying across several branches, tail flicking from side to side and her eyes locked entirely on him.

"Isn't she just the cutest ornament you've ever seen?" Yami announced, petting her again and wandering off to grab more; Yugi watched him go, pursing his lips before turning back to her. Maybe for the day of Christmas he could talk Yami into getting him the gift of an exorcism for that cat. Cause it was really starting to freak him out.

Those eyes.

He shuddered again, dropping the box unceremoniously and gawking when he thought he heard something break, fleeing the room to catch up with his boyfriend.

The third time he spotted her, the ornaments were mostly put up and Yami was placing candy canes when she suddenly shot across the tree from the other set of branches and leaped at the cane, snatching it in her mouth and fleeing while Yami stared after her and Yugi muttered, "I don't…is she going to be sick from eating that?"

His boyfriend pursed his lips. "If I drop Mana's hamster out here and say that he did it, do you think she'd believe me?"

The smaller teen groaned and pressed his palm against his forehead.

The fourth time, she came out of nowhere, sprang up the branches to the trunk, climbed up, got to the uppermost branches, stretched herself out, and stared out the window as if that was the best view in the house.

"Your cat is possessed."

"She doesn't like the cold."

"Yami, face it. Your cat? She's possessed."

"Don't be jealous just because you've never had a pet."

"Yeah, no, I'm not jealous. I just…this is not normal."

"Milky Way is unique. Leave her alone."

The next time it was practically the same, uppermost branches, stretched out, but this time she was lying down and only her head was visible and she oddly kind of fit the theme but it still did nothing but make him want to flee.

Cats.

With freaky cat eyes.

He shuddered and ran off to join Yami again.

When they returned, she had moved and gotten to the top, posing with her tail wrapped around her paws and her head raised, staring down at them as if she was a queen; Yugi was really starting to get the idea that this was not normal.

Yami lit up the string of bulbs and Yugi jumped backwards when he spotted her again, opening and closing his mouth when he saw her, almost completely concealed but with her head raised and poked out just enough that she was noticeable; that changed the next time, when he was walking into the living room, going towards the window to watch some of the snowfall only to spin around when he realized he could feel her stare even though he had no idea where the hell she was. The lights were off now and he couldn't really see her in the darkness, hidden behind all of those ornaments, but the moment he did he nearly screeched; her eyes were pretty much glowing and she was so focused on him that he wanted to scream.

---

"Naughty list," Bakura snorted, rolling his eyes and looking at the TV.

"Damn straight," Malik agreed immediately.

"Nice," Mana stated.

"Oh bullshit. You are not on the nice list. Liars don't get put on the nice list."

The blonde flushed and threw a piece of popcorn at his face. "Shut up!"

"So what do you guys want for Christmas, anyways?" Yugi asked, laying across the floor and tipping his head towards his boyfriend who turned to him immediately and waggled his brows pointedly, his intentions clear. He blushed horribly, glaring at him. "Stop that!"

"Fine," Yami huffed, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms, laying his forehead on his limbs.

"So penis whipped," Bakura scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"Cause it's thick and long enough to do serious damage!" the smaller teen stated, eyes wide as he looked at him; Yami's mouth fell open and Bakura burst out laughing while Malik fell over himself with a shocked cry of, "Holy shit!"

Mana choked out a "Oh my Ra!" around a burst of laughter while Yugi blushed and Yami turned to him with his eyes narrowed playfully.

"Well little one, if you're going to just announce it like that, maybe you should let us see—"

"No one gets to see the dragon!"

The taller teen howled with laughter and Yugi covered his mouth, entire face and neck growing bright red as Bakura started crying and Malik curled up on his side, sobbing and red-faced from his spot on the floor, a mass amount of popcorn bits being sprayed across the television screen.

"Well, that aside, I'm sure Mom and Dad have us covered," Yami breathed out, clearing his throat awkwardly around his laughter.

"…Your parents buy you presents?" Yugi asked, blinking in confusion.

The other four all stopped short and stared at him, shocked out of their minds and then swapping looks before turning back to the small teen.

"Oh…shit," Bakura breathed out.

"Oh my Ra! A Christmas virgin! Let me, let me!"

"Hell no! Let me! I want to fucking pop his cheery! It's my cherry to pop!"

"No, you popped mine and Mokuba's before!" Mana cried, shaking her head immediately. "You can't have Yugi's too!"

Yugi gawked, eyes wide and blushing furiously with a shocked expression, turning to Yami with a slightly horrified gleam to his gaze. "H-huh?"

"You mean you really don't know…?" the silver-haired teen stated in pure amazement, brown eyes widening drastically as he sat up slightly.

"Know what?" Yugi asked, fighting back a small shiver running through him as he looked at his boyfriend with a pleading expression. "What are they talking about?"

Yami opened and closed his mouth and slowly grew pale as he squeezed his eyes tightly. "Aw fuck," he whispered, staring at him a second later and grabbing his hand, starting to lead the way out of the room.

"Be gentle. It's his first time!" Bakura called after them in a singsong voice.

Yugi blushed harshly and tried not to shy away from the conversation, feeling sick to his stomach; was it something bad? He didn't know what he would do if it was something bad; the red-eyed teen led him to his room and gestured for him to take a seat.

"I don't know how to…" Yami trailed off and pursed his lips, taking a seat next to him and narrowing his eyes thoughtfully. "I'm sorry and I wouldn't blame you if you hated me after this…"

"Are you going to break up with me?" he asked quietly, weakly.

Ever since Yami had told him that he loved him at Thanksgiving, he had been feeling a lot more insecure about their relationship lately and it was constantly in his head that the other teen was going to break up with him…

Especially with the stunt that he had pulled a few days before because Yami had been so unhappy that he looked ready to tear his head off when he had mentioned it…

And, oh gods, he such a horrible boyfriend for doing that and—

"What?! No, of course not! Why would you even…?" He trailed off, shaking off his shock for a second and rolling his eyes at himself mentally; he wasn't exactly blind to the many times that he had frozen up and gotten insecure, the million times that he had said he loved him or teased him. "No, uh, it's…something else."

"Okay, so what…?" he asked, relieved and smiling.

Yami drew in a deep breath and closed his eyes for a second. "Santa…is not real."

Yugi blinked, staring, and then burst out laughing, rolling his eyes. "Yeah, okay, Yami."

"You know, they normally say popping someone's cherry is enjoyable," the taller teen commented dryly, rolling his eyes and shaking his head.

"What?" the blue-violet-eyed boy asked, blinking in confusion.

"Hmm? Oh nothing…Seriously, Yugi, Santa is not real."

"Oh yeah, okay, Yami. Whatever you say."

"Ra, you're a fucking virgin in every way, aren't you?" Yami muttered, groaning and shaking his head as he pursed his lips and grabbed at his hair for a moment.

"H-huh?"

He grabbed his hands and pulled them into his palms, holding them tightly and smiling. "Aibou, I need you to listen very carefully, okay?"

Yugi nodded slowly.

"Okay, so take a deep breath and—"

"Yami, I swear to the gods, if this is another of your 'lessons' on blowjobs and sex positions—"

Yami threw his hands up, shaking his head and glaring. "Oh really now? So you plan on holding that over my head for the rest of my life, Yugi?" he snapped, shaking his head and glaring. "You asked me!"

"I just wanted to know if you knew how to!" the smaller teen cried in frustration.

"That's what the internet is for," Yami grumbled, rolling his eyes.

Yugi scowled in response. "You didn't have to look up everything else after that!"

"There were links, Yugi. There were links everywhere!"

"Back to the point," the smaller boy said, smiling widely and shaking his head.

"There was a point?" he asked, blinking in confusion. "Oh right!"

Yugi rolled his eyes. "Keep your head out of the gutter. It's almost Christmas."

"Do we really have to?" Yami groaned pleadingly.

"Yes," he snapped, narrowing his eyes.

The taller teen pouted for a split second before shaking his head and glaring, sulking after a moment with his arms crossed and his lips pursed. "Fine. Santa isn't real. He was made up so that kids would be good for one Ra-damned month of the year."

"No. That's because he'll give out coal," Yugi argued, shaking his head in confusion.

"Coal my ass. You know how fucking rich most people would be if they got coal for Christmas, Yugi?"

"Rich?" He furrowed his brows. "What does that mean? Coal doesn't have any monetary value…"

"It would if they stuck it up their parents' asses and twisted a little."

Yugi gawked.

"They'd get fucking diamonds!" he hissed, rolling his eyes. "Any fucking parent so tight-assed that they would give their children a stocking of coal as if that was an actual gift just to keep Santa alive, can easily give you a diamond if you just twisted it the slightest bit. Fuck, you wouldn't even have to put it all the way in, just rim a little and drop it again. In retrospect…that would make the best punishment because it would make the perfect gift too. I mean, low on money, you just give your child some coal, let them rim your ass with it and then out pops the jewels!"

"I don't…I don't think that's how physics works," Yugi admitted, blinking.

"Your physics aren't mine!" Yami snapped playfully, leaning forward to push him back into the bed, straddling him before glaring. "And I'm still pissed at you, by the way."

The smaller boy blinked and then huffed, "No wonder you were so happy saying that Santa doesn't really exist."

"Damn straight I had fun popping your little Christmas cherry, bitch," he growled. "Because who the fuck goes behind their boyfriend's back to their rich CEO cousin and sets up a goddamned tournament without their permission in the first place? Especially when the little piece of shit event revolves around the aforementioned boyfriend!"

Yugi threw his hands up and pressed his palms into his chest, eyes wide as he laughed nervously, clearing his throat awkwardly. "Ha, uh—I—I—it's for needy children!"

"I hate children," he hissed. "Hate them, hate them, hate them! And I'm finding it really hard to love you when you keep trying to force them on me. If you want a child, obviously you picked the wrong gender!"

He pursed his lips. "I just wanted us to have good karma next year!"

Yami paused for a second and tilted his head, not buying the statement for a second but deciding to pretend as he mumbled, "Aw, preparing for our future. That's so sweet" in a sarcastic drawl, raising a brow.

Yugi laughed and shook his head, grasping at his shirt for a second before moving his other hand to his hip; the taller teen blinked, startled by the touch, and looked almost ready to check to make sure it was his palm there. "You look pretty shocked," he teased. "Are you expecting Slenderman to have reached out and laid his hand on your hip?"

"It would make more sense at a moment like this."

"Your faith in me is astounding."

"Damn straight it is."

Yugi shook his head again, smiling, and then cast a lazy glance towards the clock on the nightstand. "So, um…you're sure that Santa doesn't exist?"

"Yes."

"…How do you know that? Maybe he doesn't work with certain…cultures or something?"

"…Are you saying that Santa is racist?" Yami asked with wide eyes, shocked as Yugi immediately turned to him with a blush and rapidly shook his head.

"N-no, I just—I mean…! Oh, um…Hmm…"

"Admit it, aibou, you just called Santa racist."

"No, I…" He blinked and blushed harder. "M-maybe?"

Yami threw his head back, laughing hard enough that the bed shook and Yugi shivered at the deep noise; the taller teen pressed his weight into the mattress for a moment, breathing out a soft sigh of noise and snickering in pure amusement.

"Goddamn it. I can't even pretend to be mad at you if you're going to say such weird things."

"That's because you shouldn't be mad at me," Yugi said immediately, nodding and biting his lip as the red-eyed teen turned his attention on him again. "You should just…let it go about how I did that without asking and you—"

"Yugi, stop. Just stop. It's not working."

He opened his mouth to argue but ended up immediately closing it again, shaking his head and sighing with a mumbled, "How did the blue monkey do it?"

"Blue monkey?"

"Yeah, when I was like…ten, I had this dream about a blue monkey who invaded the school playground and hypnotized everyone to shit their pants," he admitted without thought, looking horrified as soon as the words left his mouth and Yami gaped at him, laughter bubbling out before he could stop it.

"That has to be the most beautiful thing I've ever heard."

The smaller teen blushed furiously and tightened his grip on his hip for a second, startling him slightly but not enough to make him stop chuckling. "I also had a dream one time where we were on the couch making out and then this really great movie came on and you pushed me off the couch and said that we could have sex after it was over…"

"See? You just ruined the moment," Yami stated, shaking his head. "Because unless that shit was Jurassic Park, I am getting in those pants."

Yugi could almost feel his skin peeling from the heat of his blood. "I…I…I don't think it was Jurassic Park," he muttered a little breathily, blinking and blushing harder when Yami narrowed his eyes.

"Then your dreams are fucking nightmares and I no longer consider any of them beautiful," he announced, shaking his head and narrowing his eyes. "In fact…your dreams disgust me."

"I'm sorry."

"Gods, I don't even—you have such low expectations of me," he scoffed, shaking his head and sniffling loudly as he pulled away and stood up, eyes looking watery for a second as he wiped his fingers under the lashes.

"No, no, no!" Yugi cried immediately, jumping up and going to comfort him before stopping short suddenly and staring at him. "Wait…why would you cry over that?"

Yami burst out laughing and shook his head. "I have a lash stuck in my eye."

"Oh!"

"God, you're rude."

"I…Sorry."

The taller teen sauntered closer until they were practically touching, leaning into his ear and whispering, "Yugi, tell me, what is your favorite thing about Santa?" in such a sultry voice that he almost missed the statement he had just made; for a moment he was drowning in his voice and then he found himself pulling back to stare at him angrily.

Because now he was a little hard. Over a comment about…Santa Claus.

He didn't think life got much worse than that.

"Yami, I swear to fucking—" Yugi hissed, glaring and clenching his jaw.

"Mine is that he's a fucking lie!" Yami stated, grinning and dancing off down the hallway immediately.

The smaller teen opened and closed his mouth before pouting with his arms crossed, huffing. "Asshole."

Yami peeked around the corner and opened his mouth to wiggle his tongue at him wildly, snickering, "Not real!"

"Shut up!" Yugi laughed, shaking his head and smiling at him fondly.

"That goes for the Easter Bunny too, by the way. He's a fucking lie too."

The smaller teen narrowed his eyes. "Yes, because I wasn't already aware that bunnies don't lay chocolate eggs."

"They don't lay regular ones either."

Yugi opened his mouth to argue and then shook his head slowly and pressed his palm into his forehead; oh yeah, he wasn't going to hear the end of this one for a while. Goddamn it.

---

Yami leaned forward in his seat and Yugi tapped his finger against his cheek, both of them focused on the test they were taking before the coughing started up; the entire class looked up when it lasted for more than a few seconds, such violent hacking that Yugi was wondering when the lung would come flying across the room.

"I think Satan is choking me," the teacher coughed out.

"Sorry," Yami called out, at first meaning it as just a simple comment of feeling bad that he was having such trouble but quickly growing amused out of his mind when the coughing suddenly stopped as soon as the word had left his lips.

Everyone around them turned around to stare at the red-eyed teen who smirked and waggled his brows, making sure to single out the most religious kid in their class, Espa Roba who gawked openly and then quickly spun around in his seat again. Yugi thought he could almost hear him gulping even as he glanced at his boyfriend who turned away and gave him a broad smirk before looking back at the sheets of paper in front of them again.

The water hit him twenty minutes later, right after the test had finished and the teacher had left for the moment; it splashed across his face and soaked his bangs, but it only really caught his attention because it went up his nose and that honestly just pissed him off.

He looked up and found Espa standing a safe distance away, a bible in his hand and the cross pendant of his neck raised immediately, his eyes wild as they stayed focused on him; Yami stood up after a moment, leaning against his table, and snarled, "I'm so going to summon that demon to fuck you up the ass."

"You have no power—"

"You think that weak little exorcism did anything? Espa, if it had, I would have been projectile vomiting"—damn, now that thought brought back the idea of having the fucking skill to aim like the homeless man that had vomited on his shirt while he was in the states with Yugi—"all over your fucking face."

"…But that's not even holy water," Yugi objected, blinking slowly before glancing at Yami. "Well no wonder it didn't work! The idiot is using tap water!"

Yami snickered and shook his head and the rest of the class burst out laughing.

"I mean, come on, if you want to do an exorcism, you have to use the holiest water you can, right?"

"You'd have to have it blessed by like twenty popes just to get that shit holy enough to touch my soul," Yami stated, smirking. "And Yoda. And Steven Spielberg. You'll need his holiness too."

"Steven Spielberg?" Espa muttered, confused.

"He's the one that's lured me away with the promise of dinosaurs." He paused. "So, in other words, for the sake of this argument, he's my god."

"You—"

"Do you realize how he rides into battle with his army of scientists?" Yami whispered, lowering his voice drastically and then snarling to make his voice demonic, "On a fucking velociraptor."

"I no longer understand religion," Yugi announced, shaking his head as he stared at the desk, frowning. "One of them fights with holy water and the other one with fucking dinosaurs."

The class started cracking up and Yami reached over to ruffle his hair and pull him close enough to kiss his temple even as the smaller boy added, "Like, how the fuck is a blessing supposed to save you from a creature that can hear your heart? And in the middle of battle? Unless you have a tank of it and tried to drown it. But how are you supposed to do that if a god is riding on top of it and it could be a very good swimmer?"

"Over-thinking it, Yugi."

"These are important, life-changing questions," the smaller boy snapped, shaking his head immediately at his boyfriend's statement. "Plus, plus, there's Yoda in there too! What if he taught the dinosaurs and Steven how to freaking fight with lightsabers?"

Yami blinked once and then looked at him slowly, eyes widening drastically. "Oh, holy shit…that makes so much sense…"

"And I can tell that I should never leave this class unattended again," the teacher stated, sighing as he walked back inside and rolled his eyes at the way that the other students hurried to pretend they had been doing their work the entire time he had been absent. "Now…what was so interesting that you all were paying attention to them?"

"Yoda and velociraptors," Yugi stated immediately, blushing when his teacher stared at him as if he had grown two more heads. "And holy water."

"Goddamn it, Espa, I told you not to try an exorcism in my classroom!"

Yugi and Yami swapped looks, startled by the sudden change of attention, and turned back to find the other boy was pointing at Yami with the comment "He says sorry and you stop coughing. I don't think it's a coincidence! Especially not after that blood sacrifice that he had performed before in the middle of class—"

"It was a nosebleed," the teacher sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and shaking his head. "What did your parents do to you?"

Yami fell off his seat laughing and Yugi covered his head in his arms, cracking up as the rest of the class burst into snickers; the red-eyed teen pressed his forehead into the leg of his table, shaking his head and wiping at some tears. "Oh my fucking Ra."

The class was still laughing when the bell rang, all of them hurrying out the door, most likely to tell their friends about what had happened.

---

"Right, so last night I was absentmindedly toying with something on the kitchen counter while I was on the computer and when I looked down I realized it was a cockroach," Yami muttered, tilting his head and frowning. "I was petting it. I was fucking petting a cockroach and that cockroach was just sitting there, enjoying it. Really enjoying it. And…we had a moment."

Yugi blinked in confusion and stared at him with wide eyes, startled as Yami glanced at Tristan and Joey, continuing with, "Like when you two do something stupid and gay and then you freak the fuck out because you're just like every straight guy in the world. And I was looking at the bastard and I started yelling and shouting and then I swear that thing opened its mouth and did the same thing as me and we were just gawking at each other and then Mana comes running down the stairs and kills him. And…it was just a really fucked up moment and I thought I would share it with you guys…Just to let you know what the hell you've allowed your friend to get into by letting him become my boyfriend. Just know that you will also never be able to separate us because I love him too much no matter the amount of concern you show towards the topic after hearing a story like that. Just clearing that up for you."

Yugi stared at him for a moment. "Oh my gods."

Yami shrugged helplessly.

Mana shuddered. "I can't believe you were petting it. I thought you were just afraid of it!"

"No. We were…sharing a very intimate connection that you ruined."

"Wait! Why wasn't it running? I mean, you started screaming, so why…?" Yugi asked in confusion.

"When you connect with a bug on such an intense level, screaming will not make it run away. We were like…long lost brothers for a second there."

"He got his stupid fucking leg stuck on that sticky fly paper you hang up on the walls," Mana scoffed, rolling her eyes. "Mom likes to have it on hand in case of flies even though we almost never have them and it got stuck on an open one Yami had left next to him while he was on the computer."

"Why are you ruining my image like this?"

"You have no image!" Mana sneered.

Yugi shook his head slowly and stared at the two of them. "Gods, with you two it's either 'I'll help you hide the body' or 'Do not even breathe in my direction'. There's no fucking in between for you guys! What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Yami and Mana both stopped short from the argument that was about to start up and stared at him in shock, swapping looks and then turning back again.

"Ra, rude much, Yugi?"

"Sheesh."

"You people!"

"That goes for the whole family," Bakura cut in, snickering before rolling his eyes; Malik nodded, smirking and shaking his head a second later.

"But you two argue over everything," Tea commented, sounding a little hesitant as if she expected one of the siblings to turn around and bite her at any moment; Yugi kind of had a feeling that all of them thought that about the two of them if only because of the way that they went quiet and stared when someone from his group made conversation with them.

"It's called having a sibling," Yami muttered, rolling his eyes and tossing a piece of half-eaten pineapple at his sister who shrieked and scrambled to get it off her face; he snickered and turned away again, looking at his tray for a moment.

"The only thing he's good for is February and kicking people's ass when they pick on me," Mana hissed, throwing a piece of jell-o that hit him across the cheek.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" he snapped, glaring. "Don't throw animal by-products at me!"

"If I wanted to do that, I should just throw Milky Way's food at you."

"Fuck you, Mana. She eats Blue Buffalo!"

"Bullshit. She deserves bargain brand!"

"I'm going to take your hamster and I'm going to drown him in the sink."

"Don't touch my baby!"

"Oh, what, you couldn't come up with another name for him?"

"Shut up, Stinky Cheese-Dick!"

"Goddamn it, Yami, do you tell everyone everything?" Yugi cried in exasperation.

Yami and Mana both stopped short and stared at him for a second before swapping looks and turning back to the pouting boy.

"You think I wouldn't tell about Stinky Cheese-Dick?" the red-eyed teen murmured, narrowing his eyes. "What kind of monster are you?"

"Gods, you guys are just so self-absorbed," the blonde complained. "I can't even have a legitimate argument with my brother any—"

"Hey, bitch, get a boyfriend and tell me how the arguing works out for you," Yami snapped, putting a hand up in her direction and turning back to Yugi. "How dare you try to make me keep that to myself."

"Milky Way is stupid."

Yugi went bug-eyed and the others all froze while Yami spun on his sister again, bristling as he narrowed his eyes into slits. "I'm going to take your fucking rat, shove him so far up your ass that he'll find your head so the doctors can perform the surgery to remove it, drown him in the sink, and preserve his body so that when you really piss me off, I can take him, spray him down with Febreze, and super glue him to you in your sleep."

His sister recoiled, eyes wide out of shock before spitting, "You're demented."

"That's why Espa wants to do an exorcism on me," he snapped. "You don't fucking insult my cat—"

"He doesn't even like pussy but he still fights over it," Yugi mumbled just loud enough for all of them to hear; Yami blinked and turned his head to look at him and the others all snickered and waited for something else to come out of his mouth.

"Of course. Because she helps me out with all my possessions."

"Ha, you admit it! You admit that she's fucking possessed!"

"…Who's possessing who, though, Yugi?"

The smaller teen froze in place for a second and then looked around with wide eyes before turning back to him.

"Whoa, relax there, Satan," Bakura commented, snickering. "I think you need a little bit of a nap."

Yugi jerked backwards and pointed at his red-eyed boyfriend. "Milky Way was a normal cat before you got your hands on her!"

"Tell me more about what I already know," Yami snickered, raising a brow and smirking widely.

The smaller teen stopped short and blinked. "But if Spielberg is your god and rides into battle on velociraptors…"

"Holy fucking shit, Yami, what the hell have you been telling this kid?" Malik exclaimed, shaking his head as he stared at the smallest teen in their group.

"It's not my fault he's so easily influenced!" Yami objected, eyes wide. "All I fucking said was that Espa didn't do the exorcism right or I would have been projectile vomiting and then…somehow it turned into a conversation about Yoda teaching Steven and his raptor how to use lightsabers…"

"Oh my Ra," Mana snorted, "by the time you guys graduate, Yugi's mind is going to be so warped he won't be able to think straight anymore."

Yami blinked and frowned. "Yeah, I'm starting to realize that, honestly."

"No, no, screw it," Yugi announced, turning to him and nodding once. "Your cat possessed everyone. She's the devil and you're just a nun."

The others started laughing at Yami's extremely shocked face, the red-eyed teen confused and looking so lost that it was impossible to keep a straight face.

He…just called me a girl…

A nun? A fucking nun?

---

"You know…I don't have a gag reflex," Yami stated suddenly, making Yugi turn his head in surprise, looking away from a movie that didn't have his boyfriend's complete attention…because it wasn't Jurassic Park. "I can stick a fork down my throat and nothing will happen…I think our relationship is starting to be abusive towards my ability to deep-throat so I officially need to become a prostitute because it is the only way to utilize these skills."

He blinked in confusion and then gawked when the other boy snatched the remote from next to them, opening his mouth and tipping his head back.

"Yami—No, no, don't put the remote down your throat! Damn it, Yami!" the smaller teen cried, watching the red-eyed teen crack up and toss the remote aside.

"Calm down, I wasn't going to do it. I do actually have a gag reflex, though, so…no prostitution for me."

"Oh, oh, thank the gods," the smaller murmured, hugging him tightly and burying his face in his neck. "You are mine."

"Yami, stop trying to put things down your throat!" his mom called from upstairs; Yugi blinked and went wide-eyed, grabbing at his arm when he whispered, "Is she psychic?"

The taller teen snickered and shook his head. "You got loud—"

"I swear I'll cover everything with lemon juice if you keep doing it."

The red-eyed teen blinked once and frowned. "Dear Ra, they hate me."

"You say that about everyone—"

"No, aibou, you don't get it," he whispered, cutting him off and looking up towards the ceiling where they could both hear his mom moving around. "I once told my mom that I was allergic to lemon so that I wouldn't have to eat a piece of fish that she had made because I really, really, really hate cod and it was…"

He shook his head, shuddering. "Look, either way, I've always pretended I was allergic to lemon and now she's threatening to test me on it…"

"Then don't put anything random down your throat."

Yami turned his head and leveled him a glare. "No one asked you. Stay in your little corner over there and hush up."

Yugi grinned and shook his head before snatching the remote from him and changing the channel, looking at the screen and humming once. "No random objects for Yami."

"You're making it really hard to want to stay faithful right about now."

"I…Huh?"

"First you go behind my back and schedule shit with my cousin, then you call me a freaking girl during lunch, and now you're trying to prevent my career from happening. I don't know if I want such an oppressive boyfriend anymore."

The smaller teen narrowed his eyes. "Fine, you know what? I think I should go be a prostitute too then! We can be a couple of prostitutes and—"

"Are you mocking me?"

"Yes!"

"I will shove that remote down your throat—"

"Yami, what have we told you about physical abuse?" his mom cried from the kitchen behind them, making both look up with wide eyes, glancing at her and blushing at the way she crossed her arms and glared.

"Leave behind no evidence?"

"And?"

"…I shouldn't do it unless I'm sure that he won't kick my ass in response?"

"And?"

"Um…The only physical abuse should be the kind in bed?"

"And?"

"And it should be enjoyable for the abuser and the abused," he grumbled.

"Good. Now, would it enjoyable for Yugi as well?"

"…No."

"Then don't do it."

Yugi blinked a few times, stared at his boyfriend's mom, then looked at Yami and back before he started laughing hard enough that he nearly fell out of his seat next to him; the taller teen cast him a dirty look and huffed, crossing his arms as he turned back to the screen and sighed loudly.

"Make it enjoyable for him too and you have my permission to do it."

"There's no way to make that enjoyable."

"Then you should never bring it up again."

"Such sound advice."

"Don't get snippy with me."

"Go away, Mom."

"Only when I'm sure that you won't be shoving any inanimate objects down Yugi's throat will I leave," she announced to which Yugi blushed at the way Yami turned his head and smirked at him.

"No worries, I won't be shoving anything down his throat."

"All right, good. Give me the remote, just to make sure."

"We're watching a movie."

"All right, well after you're done with the movie—"

"Hey, Mom, where's the Glitter Peen?" he asked, turning around in his seat while his mom paused and thought about it for a moment, blinking once.

"I believe it's under Mana's bed. You know, she's all ashamed of it so she tries to hide it and every time it winds up in the trash, I like to pull it out again and put it in the center of her bed," she commented thoughtfully, nodding once. "She thinks she's doomed to it."

Yugi choked on laughter at the very idea, swallowing hard before glancing at Yami's face slowly; the devilish gleam in his eyes said exactly what he had just been thinking—he had been the one to give her the idea to keep an eye for it.

"She couldn't just…toss it at a friend's house or something?" he mumbled.

"Please, Yugi, would you leave the house with a sparkly dildo maker in your hand?"

"I…I…No, but…She's a girl!"

"Ooh, sexist and racist, huh?" Yami teased, leaning forward to trace his fingers from beneath his ribcage to his bellybutton, the smaller teen shivering and then glaring.

"Such wonderful traits."

"Aren't they?" the taller boy stated, turning to his mom again and leaning over the backrest to put his chin on the cushion, watching her. "Do you think she'd mind if I decided to play with her Glitter Peen?"

"I don't see why you would need that when you have a real one to play with—two actually," she murmured, turning away and heading over to the fridge. "Dildos don't squirt. Remember that, Yami."

"Oh…my…gods," Yugi choked quietly, covering his mouth and looking ready to cry out of pure shock and embarrassment; his boyfriend watched him from the corner of his eye and then turned away as his mom wandered off again.

"Is your mom high?"

"We like to keep her tipsy most of the time," Yami stated. "So normally we give her a little bit of wine in her morning juices and then make sure that she's levelheaded with all of her antidepressants."

Yugi gawked at him and Yami blinked once before rolling his eyes. "Fucking hell, Yugi, it's a joke! Goddamn, Mana was right. I shouldn't talk to you anymore. Your brain will turn to mush with exposure."

The smaller boy blinked and then leaned forward and whispered in his ear, "It's what we do to my mom."

He stopped short and stared at him for a second but the other teen had turned away with the remote in his hand, clicking through the channels again.

"Wait…what the fuck?"

Yugi grinned a little but then turned back and frowned. "I'm not playing with the Glitter Peen, Yami. That just sounds gross."

"It would be, wouldn't it?"

"Plus, didn't one of you mention that you would have to…shave?" He glanced at his crotch and then back to his boyfriend. "I don't want to do that."

"Good point." He paused and tilted his head. "I wonder if it hurts."

"Huh?"

"Or maybe it's just really itchy afterwards…"

"Yami, Yami, stop. Stop with the conversation."

"Ra, everyone is always trying to put down the freethinkers!"

---

Yami honestly wasn't sure why he was staring at this image; the girl had her lips puckered out in that…duck-face thing, her breasts were pushed together and the angle was utterly disgusting. He tilted his head and Bakura pointed at the spot next to her, something he hadn't immediately noticed because the duck-face annoyed him so much that it was normally the first thing that he took note of when he saw pictures of girls. Why the fuck did they do that anyways?

"Wow, she's so curvy that she warped the area around her," he commented, tilting his head.

"Photoshop fail," Malik commented, smirking. "Now, how big do you think she actually is?"

The silver-haired teen narrowed his eyes and tilted his head. "A few inches…give or take."

"Are we really staring at this photo and trying to figure out her weight?" Mana scoffed, rolling her eyes and frowning when her cousins gave her half-assed glances and then turned back to the picture.

"There's nothing better to do right about now," Bakura huffed. "Literally nothing."

"Boredom is a disease."

"Why do girls objectify themselves like this?" Yami muttered, furrowing his brows and yelping with a sharp recoil when Bakura's hand met his cheek; Yugi spun around, gawking, and Malik stared as if his silver-haired cousin had lost his mind.

"What the actual fuck Bakura?" the red-eyed teen spat, glaring.

"Never question asses and boobs!" the albino hissed.

"Yami, it's because they can…and because of boobs," Malik murmured, nodding.

The red-eyed teen stared at them for a second and then smacked Bakura hard enough to make him stumble, snapping, "Homo" in a loud voice, dragging the word out and glaring. "You can't slap a fucking gay guy for asking an innocent question about women! We don't understand because we aren't wired the same way!"

Yugi blinked and then tilted his head; was that a legitimate statement or just an excuse to smack him back?

"…Do you think that if I used that as an excuse to peek down a woman's shirt, she'd fall for it?" Malik asked suddenly.

"Why? Going to try to hunt down Catwoman?" Yami commented, smirking and looking at the picture again while his cousin huffed in frustration.

"No, I…Why do you assholes keep bringing that up?!" he snapped, glowering. "Like you didn't blow up your neighbor's car on Halloween two years ago!"

"It wasn't my fault!" Yami objected before sneering, "At least there was no kidnapping attempt for me!"

"No, just molestation!"

"I didn't molest the neighbor and you know what? Yugi loved it!"

"Please, girls, you're both beautiful," Bakura drawled, rolling his eyes as he fell back on Mana's bed, landing on her and making her wheeze out a breath before laughing when he pretended he didn't know she was there. "I'm sure if you ask nicely, Yugi will take you both to the dance."

"I don't like dances!" Yugi argued immediately, blinking before shaking his head slowly. "When you go to dances you have to wear a suit and when you wear a suit, sometimes they're like…cheaply made castles. And there's no ballroom."

"Oh my god," Mana snickered, shaking her head.

"Fucking gods," Yami muttered, blinking.

Yugi stayed quiet for a second, trying to fight it off, but then blurted, "Fucking gods are called that because they fuck a lot!"

"Are you sure you won't let me have him, Yami?" Bakura commented, grinning widely. "Because I really fucking want him. I'll pay you."

"He's not a—"

"Yami and I are going to be prostitutes when we grow up!"

His red-eyed boyfriend gawked and scrambled to cover his mouth, hissing, "Yugi, hush!"

"…What?"

"Holy fucking…What?"

"Oh my gods…What?"

Yugi nodded against his hand, mumbling, "No gag reflex!" around his palm just loud enough for them to hear and stare at their family member awkwardly.

"It was a joke—"

"Glitter Peen!" Yugi cried, pointing off towards the bed where Mana stared in shock and Bakura burst out laughing; Malik blinked and then moved over to the other side of the piece of furniture, about to peek under, when the blonde screamed, "No! Stop it! You're not allowed to go through my stuff like that!"

"You have to shave your—"

Yami grabbed his face a little hard but aside from that, the kiss was kind of fun; Yugi blinked a few times, still trying to talk at first, mumbling into his mouth words that the others couldn't understand, and fell quiet when the other teen's tongue slipped in to play with his. For a minute they stood like that and then Yami pulled back slightly, studying him with narrowed eyes, moving his hands to splay his fingers across his cheeks, and hissed, "Stop talking already."

"That's the cutest way to tell someone to shut up ever," Mana giggled happily.

Yami ignored her and glared at his boyfriend who nodded slightly and started looking up at the ceiling in order to keep from talking again.

"Yeah, yeah, romantic as shit," her brother grumbled, rolling his eyes and shaking his head.

"Do prostitutes kiss their clients?" Yugi blurted out suddenly; Yami spun around and stared at him as if he had lost his mind and the other three started snickering in amusement. "Do they?"

"Yugi, please, I'm begging you—"

"Because, if they do, does that mean—"

He was pouting against his mouth; Yami recognized it but ignored it pointedly, more than a little amused when the smaller boy continued mumbling for a moment and then sighed and went to playing with him instead.

"It was cute the first time, now it's just…a little annoying. Like…I don't have anyone to kiss right now."

Bakura shot his cousin a disgusted look. "No wonder no one wants to date you. You complain too much."

"No I don't!" Mana objected loudly, eyes widening drastically. "You're just being mean!"

Yami pulled away from Yugi, covering his mouth with his index and middle fingers, giving him a look to stay quiet, and the smaller teen nodded after a moment, blushing but appearing almost elated by the kiss. He winked and turned away again, pulling his fingers away as Malik grumbled, "You're like those bitchy girls in TV shows. Always complaining when they don't get what everyone else has."

"'I want a boyfriend. Why does that ho get a guy when I don't?'"

"First of all, I have never used the word 'ho' before and—"

"'What do I have to do to get a boyfriend?'"

"'Why doesn't he love me back?'" Malik whined, stomping his feet and making an exaggerated huffing whine of a noise.

"They should become actors," Yugi whispered in his ear; Yami chuckled and kissed his temple before turning away again with a quiet, "Shouldn't they? We should record this and send it to acting facilities all over the world."

The smaller teen nodded immediately and went to grab his phone while his boyfriend blinked and grabbed his wrists, chuckling, "I wasn't serious!"

"…Oh."

"And here I was wondering how the hell you managed to get the idea that I would actually want to do this tournament."

Yugi blinked and then laughed nervously. "Um…You're the World Champion duelist and I just…figured that it would be nice…if we used that publicity to raise some money for children and—"

"Santa Claus isn't real!" Yami snarled suddenly, throwing his arms up. "Not at all! He isn't real and I don't want to pretend that he is and you make me sick for thinking that I would want to help children with a Santa campaign!"

Yugi blushed and laughed before pushing him away gently, shaking his head while his boyfriend glared and crossed his arms, huffing. "Calm down. I just thought that it would be a good thing to do."

"Yeah, Yami, he was trying to be nice," Malik cut in. "Calm the hell down."

"Shut up, Malik. Stay out of it."

"Ooh, Yami pissy."

"Take your pincers and shove it."

"Pincers?" the blond muttered, confused, glancing at the silver-haired teen and back.

"It means you've got crabs," Bakura snorted, smirking.

Yami opened his mouth and Yugi cut in with, "But don't worry, you're not the only one. Last time I checked, your mom had them too."

Malik gawked and Bakura burst out laughing, giving the smaller boy a high-five while his cousin blinked and hissed, "Why you do this, Yugi?"

"Because he's fucking awesome!" Yami snickered, leaning forward and kissing his cheek.

Yugi grinned widely and put his hands in his pockets, fighting back the urge to burst out laughing.

Crisis. Averted.

---

"Yeah, I don't think your grandpa likes me much," Yami stated, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet while they stood outside the game shop; he glanced inside past the closed sign and then turned back to his boyfriend who smiled and shook his head.

"Oh no, he definitely does. If he didn't, he would have tried to beat you upside the head with a broom by now."

The taller boy stared at him for a long minute and then narrowed his eyes. "You say that so casually. Like it's happened before or something."

Yugi tilted his head and pursed his lips, chewing his cheek and turning away.

"Oh my god, who the fuck was into you before?!" he demanded heatedly, grinding his teeth together; was there someone else? Shit, if Yugi had someone else who had had a crush on him before…

The smaller boy blinked wide eyes and then stared in shock. "What? No one."

"Bullshit! Who was it?" he growled, narrowing his eyes. "Who the hell had a crush on you before me? I want a name!"

Yugi couldn't figure out whether to be flattered by the fact that Yami was getting so strung up over the possibility of him having had an admirer before or a little insulted because the way the question sounded was almost enough to make it seem like he couldn't begin to believe that someone else had done so.

"Are you being serious right now?" he mumbled.

"Fuck yes! I want a name!"

The smaller boy tilted his head and narrowed his eyes, glaring for a second before crossing his arms. "Are you seriously—?"

"Oh my god, I'm not your first boyfriend, am I?" Yami hissed, baring his teeth. "There was someone else, wasn't there? Who the hell was it?"

"There wasn't—"

"Don't lie to me!"

"I'm not lying, Yami. There wasn't—"

"Bull-fucking-shit! That's crap and you know it!"

"Goddamn it, Yami—"

"I bet you had wet dreams about him!"

Yugi blinked, recoiling slightly before wrinkling his nose and blushing furiously; was it weird that the jealousy thing was kind of turning him on at the same time as it was infuriating to deal with?

"There wasn't—"

"Then why the hell are you blushing?"

"My gods, you're infuriating!"

"I need a name! Who is he? Who is it that I'm still competing—"

"There's no comp—"

"Give me a name! I need to know who it is that has my aibou's attention. Was, had—is, has!" Yami gawked at him for a second and then looked pissed. "You're still interacting with him, aren't you? You interact with him on a daily basis! You see him at school, don't you?"

Yugi blinked and glowered, shaking his head. "Yami—"

"It's Espa, isn't it?! Now it all makes sense! That's why you're so convinced that Milky Way is possessed! That's why you had that dream that we were watching a movie that wasn't Jurassic Park and I said that we would have sex afterwards!"

Yugi kind of wanted to smack him but mostly wanted to kiss him; he didn't know how the hell Yami was managing to pull this stuff out of thin air but at the same time he didn't care enough to question it completely because, as much as he had always thought he would hate it, a jealous Yami was really kind of hot…

"That's why you were so obsessed with holy water the other day!"

"Yami, stop—"

"You have fantasies about that religious nut!"

"No, I—"

"Oh my fucking god, you do! You so fucking do! I can't believe this!"

"I don't have a thing for—"

"You called me a nun the other day because he looks like a fucking girl with that haircut!" Yami cried, eyes widening drastically while Yugi sighed and shook his head; he had called him that because he forgot that nuns were women. "And now you're over here pretending that it isn't true because I figured it out and—"

"You know, Yami, if you're going to be like that, you can just go home and play with yourself!" Yugi snapped angrily, blinking a few times as his words caught up with him and Yami's eyes widened drastically, the taller boy recoiling slightly before suddenly his lips curled up into a smug smirk and his eyebrows waggled playfully.

"Do you ever think of me doing that, aibou?"

He blinked, a little surprised by how quickly Yami had fallen into flirting with him again but then figured it was probably his statement and…there it went; his face was burning again. Yugi ducked his head; of course he had thought of it once or twice but that…it was innocent and—oh gods, it was a fleeting thought. It didn't stick around and—oh, but now that he was stuck like this with Yami's teasing, he couldn't help but think about it.

"I…I think I'm going to go inside now. And, um, grab my tub of ice cream and…watch things on Netflix," he mumbled awkwardly, nodding to himself once and clearing his throat awkwardly as he went to make a dash for the door only to have Yami catch his wrist, laughing.

"Not so fast, little one. I want to hear all about how you fantasize about me and—"

"No! No, no—not at all!" he sputtered. "I—I never think about t-that—I don't…where did you even—just no."

Yami snorted and shook his head. "You're adorable when you're flustered."

The smaller teen opened and closed his mouth and stared at him, shaking his head. "I—I'm not flustered. I'm not flustered at all. I just—who says that kind of…? Oh my gods, I need to go watch TV now!"

"No, wait, come on, stay here with me for a second."

Yugi shook his head again but didn't pull away, chewing his cheek as he peeked inside; how did he get out of this situation? This was so insanely awkward that it wasn't even funny.

And he swore if Espa was brought back into the conversation…

"So, seriously, tell me some more about this charity event because if I hear it from Seto, I'm going to punch him for making this deal when he knows children are not my forte and I hate public events," Yami stated, crossing his arms and narrowing his eyes.

Yugi blinked and bit back a sigh of relief at the subject change; at least it wasn't Espa and it certainly wasn't the slight wedgie he was definitely starting to get from his tightened pants.

"A six-day duelist tournament. You have to attend as a spectator until either someone challenges you, you challenge someone, or the numbers dwindle to the top twenty. You all have money tags for the amount that you're representing. The more you win, the more your money is doubled so that the benefactors will match the price that you're wearing in order to donate."

"You mean to tell me that it's pretty much grocery wars but instead of carts, we're dueling and trying to raise our value by winning?"

"Um…yes?"

Yami blinked and groaned, scrubbing at his face. "So, then what the fuck am I priced at?"

Yugi bit his lip and reached up to rub the back of his head awkwardly. "I, um…I actually don't know. Seto said he would figure out what they would price you at and—"

"Fucking hell, I'll be twelve bucks. I swear to Ra, they're going to price me so low that I'll actually be forced to duel and—"

"You're the entire reason that they're coming to duel in the first place, you're going to be priced the highest."

"Great. So, let's see how that goes. Five bucks, ten cents, a penny. Six days of this?"

"Mmhmm."

"Starting next week?"

"Yes."

"…I should have recognized the signs before."

"What?"

"You hate me and love Espa which is why you did this shit because he convinced you it was a good thing to do and it was 'holy-like' and all that shit," he growled, huffing and rolling his eyes as he shook his head in frustration.

Yugi blinked and narrowed his eyes, chewing his cheek before grabbing him by the lapels of his jacket; Yami jerked when he pulled and the smaller boy glared in frustration now that they were level.

"Shut up about Espa. I like dinosaurs. And I happen to be very happy not being religious so if you could just drop that altogether, it would be very nice—"

"You're a liar."

He couldn't help the small laugh at the way Yami sang the words, rolling his eyes before kissing him for a moment and pushing him away again. "I'm going back inside and you're going to go home and—"

"Wrong. I'm fucking climbing that tree and going into your room."

"I…No, what?"

"Mmhmm. I'm totally going to do it because I have a right to creep into my boyfriend's bedroom all I want." He paused. "Which reminds me. You should start unlocking it at night."

Yugi blinked and then stared at him for a long minute and a half.

How…how did he know that he locked it at night?

He had told him before that he normally didn't lock it and now he was…

"Oh my fucking gods, you little shit!" the smaller boy laughed, shaking his head. "You tried to creep into my room before, didn't you?"

Yami opened his mouth to scoff and then tilted his head a little, studying him. "If I say yes, will you tell me one of your fantasies?"

"No."

"Then no, I have never tried your window."

"Yami, that's not even…" He shook his head.

"No, seriously, I haven't tried your window," he laughed. "But you remember when we were in your room the other day?"

"Yeah…?"

"I noticed that you had locked it. That's all."

"Oh. Well…good then."

"Oh shit, you actually sound disappointed."

"I—w-what? No I don't!" he cried indignantly, blushing.

Yami grinned widely. "You actually wanted me to have tried sneaking in through your window!"

"N…no…" He pursed his lips and glanced at the door; what were the odds that Yami would be able to stop him if he bolted that second?

"Oh, little one…"

"Hmm?"

"I'm still holding your wrist."

"What…?" The smaller boy blinked in confusion for a second, glanced at his boyfriend's hand, and then slowly looked to the doors and back again. "Oh…"

"All right, well, I need to get home anyways," he stated, chuckling at the slightly frustrated but mostly embarrassed expression that Yugi wore. "I think it's my night to help with dinner or something…"

"Oh, okay—"

Yami pressed a kiss to his cheek and nuzzled his skin for a second before muttering, "I'll call you later, okay?"

"We're not doing phone sex," Yugi hissed immediately, glaring. "I see that little light in your eyes. We're not doing it."

"You really do hate me."

"No."

"Mmhmm. You keep telling yourself that."

"Ugh, Yami—"

"Call you later, aibou."

"I—okay. Bye, Yami."

---

"What's wrong with going out alone to get some candy canes, Mana?" Yami grumbled, huffing as he took a seat and glanced at the clock and turned to his sister. "It's only a minute before five. It's light outside, the sun is just barely setting and you could probably walk to the store and back before it gets too dark. There are fucking children playing. It's nice out so I hardly see a reason for you to need someone else with you."

"Yami, please!" she whined. "You know I hate going places alone."

"In case you haven't noticed, Mana, I'm not the most intimidating person. I'm barely even tall enough to stand up to someone else. I mean, shit, the scariest thing I have going for me is my eyes and you sure as fuck can't see them in the dark."

"But it's still light outside!"

"Dear, dear, little sister, listen to me now, okay? I don't want to go."

"They're less likely to kidnap me or something if you're there with me."

"Or they could be like, 'Oh shit, there's a second one to sell on the black market!'"

"Yami!"

"Mana!"

"Please!"

Yami ground his teeth together, rolling his eyes, and got to his feet. "Fine, fine. God fucking damn it, let's go."

They had only gotten outside when the sunlight seemed to vanish altogether, Yami turning to his little sister and whispering, "The sun is gone. It's been swallowed whole by the embodiment of darkness. Death reigns supreme. Children are sobbing. You can't see your hand in front of your face. This is the end, Mana."

His sister turned and leveled him a look before growling, "You're the embodiment of darkness, and I don't see you fucking swallowing the sun, Yami."

The teen blinked once and then huffed. "You're a cruel little bitch today, aren't you?"

"Come on! Let's just go already and get the candy canes!"

"Fine."

He followed her for a few minutes before she finally mumbled, "So, um, are you going to use your regular deck for the fundraiser or…?"

Yami groaned and rolled his eyes. "No, I figured I would shit some cards out and put them together," he sniped.

"Hey, I'm trying to make small talk."

"Why the fuck would you try that in the first place? You suck at it."

"Why are you so mean?"

"Because I'm the oldest. We tend to grow a void in our hearts when our parents give birth to a second spawn. Like…why weren't we enough?"

Mana laughed and shook her head, glancing over her shoulder at him and growing curious when she saw that he was looking down the street. "Hey, do you know if Yugi duels too?"

"No." He paused. "Why?"

"Because, you idiot, you can have him duel too. Who knows? Maybe he could beat you. You should teach him."

Yami stayed quiet for a second and then narrowed his eyes. "I don't know if he would want to learn it anyways."

"You should teach him."

"…Why are you repeating yourself?"

"Ssh, I'm trying to see if hypnotism works. You should teach him."

"That's not going to happen."

"What? Why aren't you going to teach him?"

"I meant the hypnotism."

"So you are going to teach him?"

Yami stayed quiet for a second. "…I guess I should amend that statement and say that your hypnotism technique sucks balls and I shall repeat myself when I say, 'I don't know if he would want to learn it'." He rolled his eyes. "Anyways, besides that, I don't want to duel with Yugi."

"Selfish much?"

"What? How is that selfish?"

"You don't want to do it because you know he'll kick your ass if he does learn."

"No, I don't want to do it because I don't know if he would want to learn."

"You're also afraid of an ass whooping."

"Please," he scoffed, grinning widely, "if he spanked me, I'd enjoy that shit."

Mana blushed and glanced over her shoulder, blinking once before spinning around again. "Goddamn it."

"You set yourself up for that one."

"Go spank yourself."

"Anticlimatic, don't you think?"

"No, shut up. Go away."

"All right, I'll just go home and—"

"No!" she screeched, grabbing his arm immediately and refusing to let go.

"Ra-fucking-damn it."

"Oh my god, we can go to Yugi's house! It's right next to the store and—"

"…You…want to teach me how to play Duel Monsters?" Yugi asked in confusion thirty minutes later, eyes wide as he watched his boyfriend shake his head while his sister looked extremely excited, nearly bouncing in place.

"Um…I have a feeling you already know how to, considering"—he gestured all around at the starter packs and various Duel Monsters merchandise, shooting his sister a frustrated glance that she stuck her tongue out at—"so, actually, before Mana interrupted, I meant to ask you if you would help me construct a new deck for the fundraiser and—Mana, you better fucking get away from there before I kick your ass so hard that you won't be able to walk straight."

Yugi blinked and looked over at where she was trying to open up the case and get to his grandpa's Blue-Eyes White Dragon card, eyes widening as she immediately stood up again and held her hands up.

"I wasn't going to take it or anything—"

"Bullshit. Your fingers are just as sticky as Bakura's."

She huffed. "That's clothing, Yami!"

"Funny. Because that Reese's cup you tried to steal didn't look like clothing."

The blonde ducked her head, blushing, and immediately moved away again before pointing at the card and saying, "I just thought it was cool considering that Seto has three of them, okay?"

Yami rolled his eyes and shook his head, turning back to his boyfriend, about to open his mouth only to fall silent when he spoke again.

"That's actually my grandpa's. He got it from his friend Arthur during one of the expeditions they went on together."

"Hmm, college must have been a nice time."

Yugi blushed and spun on him, hissing, "We don't talk about college!"

The older teen snickered and kissed his forehead before turning away again, glancing over at the Slifer starter pack and biting back a purr of pure amusement; as far as he knew, there were only actually six of the god cards in print that could be used in actual events and the others were all demo releases and were only allowed to be used in regular games between friends.

He had both copies of the red Egyptian god card, the American version Slifer the Sky Dragon and Osiris; he used them in alternation during events because it was fun to see some of the reactions when people online had commented about it.

Of course his fans loved the shit out of that god because he appeared almost every duel solely because Yami liked to make sure he did, and others claimed Slifer was the only reason he won anyways.

"I think we should discuss college."

"I don't think we should."

"But it could be fun."

"No!" Yugi snapped, shaking his head immediately, eyes firm. "We will not discuss college."

"What the fuck are you two even talking about?" Mana demanded, frustrated.

"None of your business," Yami growled, cutting her off before she could begin to complain about how unfair it was that they were keeping secrets from her, instead turning to Yugi and giving him a warning look. The smaller teen blinked once, twice, and then nodded and turned away immediately. "Now go back to staring at the card."

"But—"

"Go. Back. To. Staring. At. The. Card."

She huffed and held her hands up, turning away again while Yami looked at him.

"So, help me construct a new deck or…?"

He blinked and tilted his head before shrugging and nodding, smiling. "Sure."

"Great. Now…Mana and I need to go back and give Mom the candy canes she wanted and"—he gave his sister a shocked look when he found that she had somehow managed to grab the card and was now holding it in her hand triumphantly; fuck, did all of them know how to do that but him?—"then eat and go to bed."

Yugi followed his eyes and gawked. "What the hell?"

"You left the key on top of the register," she laughed, putting the card back in its little cushioned box in which Yami's eyes nearly bugged out of his head; was that…an engagement-ring-box-thing?

"Oh…Yeah, I knew I didn't put it back in place," the smaller boy commented, smiling a little before turning to Yami and blushing when he found that the other male was gaping at him, eyes still wide as moons and boring into his skin; he ducked and shook his bowed head, hoping he would leave it at that.

And, of course…he didn't.

"Is that an engagement-ring-box-thing?" he demanded in a hiss.

Yugi groaned and smacked his forehead with the heel of his palm. "Please, don't."

"We are so going to talk about college at some point. I swear to the gods."

"Yami, we need to go—"

"Yeah, yeah, I know." He narrowed his eyes at Yugi and then made a motion that he had his eyes on him to which the smaller teen huffed and said farewell before both of them wandered out of the store.

"I don't see why school choices should be such a big deal with you two," Mana snorted, oblivious.

"…Life choices and all that," Yami muttered, rolling his eyes. "Big changes."

---

"We will, we will, fuck you!" both of them chanted, sharing a high-five and grinning widely.

"…I thought it was rock you," Yugi mumbled, confused.

"It is," Yami muttered, shaking his head with his hand over his face. "They're just…idiots."

"Don't be jealous because we came up with awesome lyrics and you didn't!" Bakura barked, wiggling his hips and making Yami shake his head harder.

"They aren't even your lyrics."

"Prove it."

"Fine. Let's look this shit up. I heard a variation of it a while back—we will fuck you."

"Please don't," Yugi said quietly, holding his hands up. "That would be really awkward and disturbing."

Yami, Bakura and Malik all leveled him blank stares, cleared their throats awkwardly, and wandered off into separate areas of the kitchen while Yugi blinked a couple of times in confusion and sighed with a shake of his head at the realization of what he had just implied.

"Anyways," Bakura grumbled, grabbing an apple from the bowl and wiping it against his shirt before taking a massive bite, "we're going to the park in a few minutes. You two want to tag along?"

"No. I don't feel like being arrested today," Yami retorted, glancing at his blond cousin who snickered and held his hands up. "Really not one for that today, honestly."

"Suit yourself," the silver-haired teen stated, turning and leading the way towards the door with Malik behind him; both of them waved dismissively and headed out while Yugi went and took a seat at the table.

The red-eyed teen wandered to the fridge, pulling out a pack of cookie dough and looking over the instructions on the back, tilting his head before going to the oven and grabbing a cookie sheet from the drawer compartment at the bottom; Yugi sat up a little at the way he crouched, eyes widening as he leaned forward and nearly did a face-plant.

By the gods, his butt was so cute!

He kind of wanted to touch it and—nope, time to try to think about something else and…oh, but it was so cute! He couldn't help but feel a little unhappy with how cute it was and not being able to touch it.

When Yami straightened again, Yugi was almost one-hundred-percent sure that he had lingered in that crouch a little too long, the idea only heightened when he saw the way that the side of the taller teen's mouth was curled up just the tiniest bit.

He'd been caught ogling.

But he wasn't about to apologize for it.

His butt was too cute to ignore.

So cute!

"So, according to this…I can either bake these cookies at four hundred degrees for ten minutes or four thousand degrees for one…" Yami announced, looking at the back of the wrapper and narrowing his eyes.

"Yami, no. That is not how you bake cookies!"

"Floor it?" he asked, head jerking up to look at him with wild eyes.

"Yami, no," he laughed.

"How about four million degrees for one second?"

"Yami, you would burn the house down!"

"Hush! I must go harness the sun to bake some fucking cookies!"

"Oh my gods. Yami, please," Yugi cried, laughing as the teen laid them out on the cookie sheet and started for the door with the statement, "I have a sun to go harness."

He sat at the table for a minute, waiting until Yami came back and huffed, "Experiment was a failure. I'm questioning the addition of aluminum foil."

"First you want to fuck pancakes—"

"Those pancakes were the most perfect pancakes in existence and if you were in my place, you would have wanted to fuck them too!"

"I highly doubt that."

"Screw that. I was hungry and I didn't get to eat before I went to bed and those pancakes were just too unnaturally perfect and how could you not want to fuck those things?!"

"You're such a mental patient."

He grinned widely. "I know. But you love it anyways."

Yugi laughed and nodded while he went about setting the oven temperature, leaning against the counter and humming; when he crossed his legs unconsciously, reading the back of the cookies' wrapping, the smaller teen found himself leaning forward again. Aw, his hips were so cute too!

Yami didn't immediately notice what he was doing until he found that the moment he looked up was the moment that Yugi nearly fell out of his chair; his own eyes wandered down his body, searching for some kind of oddity or something to have his attention so keenly and the smaller boy immediately straightened and pretended he hadn't been staring the entire time.

He raised a brow, checked his pants to make sure he hadn't gotten anything on them, and then stared at his boyfriend who tapped his nail against the table and refused to look over again.

"Were you just trying to check out Excalibur?"

"No," he squeaked, blushing as he continued staring straight forward.

"Why are you squeaking?"

"Because that question is so…"

"A question that you knew I would ask."

"N-no. I…Shut up."

Yami chuckled and shook his head, turning his attention back to the oven and huffing in annoyance; why weren't they baking faster?

"I knew I should have just gone with the aluminum."

"No, Yami, you don't bake cookies that way."

"Says you."

"Who is best friends with two girls. I know how to make cookies."

Yami opened and closed his mouth before narrowing his eyes. "Tea and Rebecca taught you to make cookies, huh? Well, how about I teach you how to read palms?" he suggested, leaning forward.

"You…can read palms?" the smaller boy asked in shock, eyes widening as he straightened a little in his seat. "Teach me!"

"Sure, little one," he purred, wandering over to the table and taking his outstretched hand; the other boy leaned forward, trying to see something that Yami couldn't, and the taller teen traced a couple of patterns across his skin that made him shiver and giggle before leaning back with a nod.

"What? What did my palm say?"

"It says," he announced, leaning forward and fighting back a smirk, "it belongs…on my butt."

Yugi blinked, taken aback and furrowing his brows; what kind of reading was…? Oh!

"You're so mean," he laughed, smiling and shaking his head. "I should have known you couldn't read palms!"

"Touch the booty, slap the booty, let the booty know it's special," Yami challenged, narrowing his eyes while the other cracked up and shook his head again, leaning forward with his elbows against the table.

The timer went off and the taller teen got up, spinning around and gawking at the other boy when he smacked his ass with an innocent look, eyes wide and gleaming with laughter at his shock.

"I'm so going to get you back for that later, just you wait," he snorted, shaking his head and heading over to the stove.

"The palm wanted it!" he stated, nodding once before grinning. "The booty wanted it."

"Touché, little one," Yami commented, raising a brow before grabbing the tray out of the oven and straightening again; Yugi tilted his head, licking his lips and leaning forward a little, completely drawn in by the smell of cookies even as he stared at Yami's butt and couldn't help thinking of how cute it really was.

Yami was hot and his butt was cute.

Yugi almost laughed at that.

---

"I'm antifeminist for the same reason I'm an atheist," Bakura announced as they all huddled around the TV in the living room two days before the event would take place, a week before Christmas.

"You don't believe that women exist?" Yugi blurted out, head snapping around to gawk at him from where he was laying on the floor with Yami's socked feet formerly under his chin; the other teen burst out laughing and shook his head as his boyfriend blinked a few times and pointed at Mana, crying out, "Then what the fuck is she?"

The others cracked up and Yugi shook his head, still confused as he threw his hands up. "That might work for someone like Yami. I mean…he could be an atheist for all I know, because as far as that goes, who knows what the fuck religion he falls under. I mean, he obviously doesn't like Espa Roba's god because he chose dinosaurs over it so I guess that means he's an atheist because he doesn't believe in something that he can't see or touch and I suppose women are much like that for him but—"

"Aibou!" Yami cried, gawking as the others started howling with laughter at his accidental blunder.

"Oh shit! Somebody get him some ice!" Malik crowed.

"Okay, but it has to be a dude," Mana snickered, smirking at her brother, "because he's going to freak the fuck out if he sees some floating ice coming over to him."

Yami groaned and pressed the heel of his palm into his forehead, shaking his head and sighing while Yugi tilted his head, wondering at which part of that statement he had—oh, oh gods!

He glanced at his boyfriend and covered his mouth, giggling behind his hands while the red-eyed teen continued shaking his head and the others cracked up harder at their expressions. The smaller boy reached out, unable to stop laughing, and mumbled, "Sorry."

"Fuck off," he snorted, rolling his eyes. "I swear to the gods, I'll never hear the end of this, will I?"

"Uh, fuck no," Bakura laughed. "That shit right there was fucking amazing."

"Goddamn it."

An hour later, Yugi found himself tired and half-asleep on the couch with his head in Yami's lap, both of them watching some kind of comedy that neither of them were really laughing at, and the others had wandered off—Bakura and Malik to go home and Mana upstairs to her room to give them some "love time" as she put it.

He was mostly asleep when he jolted awake, startled and confused and looking around in alarm; had something just bitten him? His flesh stung in that small spot and for a second he was so tired that he couldn't even grasp the source until finally he spun on his boyfriend who was struggling not to laugh out loud at his shock. Fingers pinched his left cheek again and Yugi let out a small squeak before sitting up and glaring at him.

"You're so mean!"

"You're the mean one," he retorted, narrowing his eyes and smirking. "Saying that I don't know what women are. You just gave them the perfect joke to throw back at me for the rest of my natural-born life."

Yugi huffed and scooted closer to him when the other boy wrapped an arm around his shoulder and pulled him into his side. "That's okay though. Just don't tell them but I once had a dream that scientists were trying to use a really shitty yearbook photo of mine to prove that humans came from goats." The smaller boy blinked wide eyes and then stared at him in confusion and a little bit of skepticism; did a bad photo of Yami even exist? The taller teen smirked and reached up to scratch his cheek. "I was so insulted that I woke up."

The smaller boy couldn't stop laughing, breathing out, "Shit" as his boyfriend snickered next to him; he fell asleep a half hour later, cuddled in his lap and woke to his boyfriend awkwardly trying to moving him, hissing under his breath that he had to go pee and if he didn't move, he would definitely end up pissing on him.

The other teen scrambled out of his lap and his boyfriend shot off towards the bathroom across the hall from the laundry room, Yugi sitting up and stretching his limbs out as he rubbed his eyes and Yami returned a few minutes later, looking so relieved that it made him crack up.

Two hours later his cousins were back, including Seto and Mokuba, the former handing them their plane tickets while his little brother asked Malik if he could get him more brownies; when the blond said he would do it, the brunet stopped short of handing Yugi his ticket, turned his head, and said, "Do it, Malik. Buy him some of those brownies. I swear on your mother that the police won't find any proof."

"That has to be the most beautiful thing I've heard all week," Yami stated, wiping imaginary tears from his eyes while the CEO glared at him and rolled his eyes.

"Guess you haven't gotten laid yet then."

"He'll be a virgin forever," Bakura snorted, laughing.

Yugi blinked when Yami looked over with narrowed eyes, about to say that he was sure they wouldn't be virgins forever, just for…a while, but then he noticed that startlingly fierce wonder on his face and grew curious before his eyes widened drastically. His grandpa had told him about the deal he made with his mom over that piece of pie!

He blushed and ducked his head, staring at the ground, and Yami tilted his head; what the fuck flavor was that pie? Solomon hadn't told him.

Fucking Solomon.

With his crazy ass and giving his cousins weed and shit.

And not telling him about this fucking pie flavor.

Gods, he would never forgive him for withholding such important information.

"Go to hell," he grumbled at his cousin; he had to figure out what the flavor of that pie was. Because he planned to make love to his little aibou at some point in his life. And, besides, with the way that Yugi had been staring at his ass all afternoon the day before, he didn't think he had to ask if he was curious about it too.

"Couldn't come up with something?"

"Don't make me have to summon a demon to rape you up the ass too."

"Oi, okay, Satan, calm down," his mom chided.

Yugi looked around. "I don't see her."

"What?" the Egyptian ambassador asked, blinking and looking around as Yugi had done before his eyes widened. "Wait…her?"

"Yes, where is she?"

"Here I am!" Mana said, jumping down the last couple of steps.

Yugi's eyes grew wide in horror. "Oh my gods, she can talk?"

"She's been able to do that since she was two," Seto muttered, frowning and casting a glance at his blonde cousin. "Although, many of us wish she couldn't."

"Hey!"

"I thought she was only eight months old!" Yugi cried, spinning on his boyfriend with wide eyes; Yami blinked at him once, then twice, and finally glanced around slowly. "You said she was eight months old!"

"The hell is he talking about?" Bakura asked slowly, looking around. "And what the hell are you looking for?"

Yami held a finger up and wandered off before coming back downstairs a few minutes later, Milky Way in his arms, waggling his eyebrows at his boyfriend. "All hail Satan!"

"…You just called your cat Satan," his dad commented slowly, blinking.

"Yes, why yes I did," he agreed, combing his fingers over her fur. "Yugi's convinced she's possessed."

"He wouldn't think that if TV shows weren't so pathetic these days," the ambassador huffed, shaking his head and turning away. "Stupid things like MTV teach children that cats are the devil and their owners should embrace that. When I was younger, I had my sanity intact. These stupid shows didn't pollute my brain."

Yami chuckled and rolled his eyes as he set the she-cat on top of the counter where she paced a few steps away and took a seat, blinking and watching all of them curiously.

"See, I actually made something of myself because I didn't have MTV to fuck up my life choices and make me stupid," he announced, shifting to sit back in his seat. "I wanted to become the ambassador of Egypt and I did."

Yami tilted his head. "My goal in life is to be so hot that no one can pronounce words right when they attempt to speak to me," he commented, glancing at Yugi sideways. "I have succeeded on my first victim."

"Goddamn narcissist," Aknamkanon mumbled, sipping at his mug of coffee and rolling his eyes. "It has to be your mother's genes."

"That's not t…Okay, yeah it is," she conceded, shrugging and sipping at her own beverage.

"I'm so hot that modesty doesn't exist wherever I am."

"Put it back in your box, Yami. Put it back," Seto grumbled, rolling his eyes and shaking his head.

"He'll be a nudist one day," Yami's father commented, shaking his head and sighing. "He's going to be a fucking nudist. And it'll all because MTV said it was okay to do so."

Yami started laughing and shook his head, leaning against the counter and reaching over to pet his cat who purred and licked his hand before turning away again; Yugi was staring at her when he mumbled, "Fucking Satan" and jerked backwards when she raised her head and stared at him.

His boyfriend burst out laughing, biting his tongue and rolling his eyes as he shook his head. "Oh, poor sweet, little aibou," he commented.

"Stop that," Yugi hissed, frowning at him. "She knows how demonic she is. That's your proof right there."

"Actually that was Mokuba opening a can of her food and her waiting for him to put it in her bowl," Seto stated, smirking. "Geez, with the way you're acting, I would think you were with that nutcase Espa Roba instead of Yami—"

Yugi spun on the red-eyed teen. "Oh my gods, you spread that around?"

Yami stared in confusion for a second and then dissolved into laughter, doubling over and spitting, "Aw, fuck!" in between his chuckles.

"Wait, spread what around?"

"Oh my Ra, oh my fucking Ra," Yami choked, sobbing.

"This isn't funny!" Yugi whined. "It's not true and you're—Stop it!"

"What's not true?" Mana demanded. "What's not true? What did he spread around?"

"He—he…!" Yami couldn't breathe, curling into a ball on the floor, sobbing and going red in the face. "Oh…my…fucking…Ra!"

"Yami!"

---

He took the train to get to the airport on time; he had woken up late, he was cranky, and his grandpa had been all about letting him sleep through his alarm with a comment somewhere along the lines about how he should be happy that he wasn't so constantly on his tail about everything.

Yugi was pretty sure that he was doing this because he didn't want him to go to San Francisco without him like he had insisted; he didn't want to have him trying to talk him into spending the holidays over with Rebecca and Arthur because, as much as he loved those two, he knew Yami wouldn't have been happy about it and refused to push him into more than he already had.

Yami was on the train purely for the experience of taking the train; he had never been on one and it was something that he had convinced his parents and cousins to let him do despite them talking about how horrible it all was because public transportation apparently sucked.

He didn't think it was too horrible; then again, he was a little too excited to have anything crash his mood just yet, so that might have been why. The good thing about the train was that there wasn't much to do aside from sit and think and if he had had the others with him, it would have been far more stressful.

Bakura and Malik had been fighting and placing bets and throwing things at each other while Seto had been playing mediator until Mokuba had nearly gotten his head taken off by poking his head out the window and nearly pressing his face against a car that was speeding next to them. And Mana, Ra bless her, had been playing the most annoying animal game in existence on her DS next to him, the volume all the way up and drumming into his ears every second that he had tried to relax.

At some point he was pretty sure his heart had started playing in beat with one of the more annoying tunes and he had nearly cut her head off when she complained that the dog she was raising wasn't doing what she wanted.

So the strange atmosphere that made up the entirety of the train was relieving by all means and his head was on straight again; he was enjoying himself. Until he spotted the other teen a few seats down, sitting diagonal of him, head against the window and eyes half open.

Yami tilted his head and scooted to the end of his seat, staring at him with bright eyes; he was just so cute! But the fact that he wasn't looking really was starting to irk him. Horribly.

And that really begged the question of where the hell he was looking in the first place.

Yugi shifted as if he could feel him staring, lifted his head a little, and then moved to press more of his weight into the wall and look out the window.

Yami scoffed and folded his legs, feeling a scowl start to form on his face as he let out a small huff of air and narrowed his eyes into a glare; how dare he look outside when he was in the same place as him?

Okay, so Yugi didn't know that he was there and he didn't really need all of his attention all the time, but he was excited by the smaller boy's presence and it was definitely proving impossible not to be a little irritated by the lack of focus he was given.

He stared as intensely as he could, trying to burn his skin with his eyes, leaning forward some so that he had his arms across his thighs, and licked his lips, waggling his brows when he thought he saw Yugi blink.

Regardless, the other boy still didn't look and Yami was starting to lose his mind now.

The teen let out a small growl and the noise drew the attention of several bystanders, all of them startled and confused when he suddenly blinked and tilted his head; there was a completely unrelated idea in his mind and he couldn't shake it off no matter how hard he tried.

He blinked again and wondered if he could still do it, glancing around slowly and finding that no one was looking at him anymore; apparently the growl only merited a second's worth of attention. He turned back and huffed when he found that Yugi still wasn't looking at him.

But now his attention wasn't really the focus of his thoughts anymore and Yami found himself settling into a surprisingly comfortable seating arrangement, closing his eyes halfway and focusing in on his nose.

For a split second he remember when Malik had attempted to lick his nose and had ended up doing so to Yugi on Thanksgiving when they had finally arrived, but shook it off in favor of focusing on his own again.

He narrowed his eyes, opening his mouth and slowly sticking his tongue out; if he got to touch his nose, he was going to be a happy little red-eyed Japanese-Egyptian boy. He licked his lips once and then stretched the muscle as far as he could, feeling it ache from where his teeth pressed into it unconsciously and slowly made the tip move upwards…

Yugi blinked when he saw something pink, confused and startled out of his mind as it was the first thing he had gotten his eyes on the moment he had jerked himself out of almost being asleep again.

Oh, Yami was there.

He blinked and tilted his head; what the hell was he doing there?

…Wait…what the hell was he doing?

The smaller teen felt his lips part slightly, blinking in surprise before reaching up to cover his mouth, shaking with laughter as he started snickering.

The other boy was so caught up in his task that when he finally touched the tip of his nose he only noticed Yugi because he wanted to make sure he hadn't witnessed his little game. His eyes nearly bugged out of his head, cheeks rapidly growing heated and deep red to match his gaze, mouth opening slightly in a small "o" shape.

The gods fucking hated him.

They hated him so they let him embarrass himself in front of his boyfriend.

Asshole deities.

Yugi glanced around and then got up and Yami shifted awkwardly in his seat before smiling, nearly laughing in embarrassment, as the other teen took the spot in front of him, reaching over with his legs and wrapping his feet around his ankles.

"Hi."

"Hey, what's up?"

"Besides that spectacular display of your tongue power? Not much."

"Mm…tongue power," Yami drawled, the words foreign and strange but amazing all the same. "Tongue. Power."

"Power of the tongue."

"Powerful tongue."

"Just the right amount of power for a tongue."

"We are such weirdoes," he snickered, smiling at the other boy.

"I'm still half asleep. So I'm…you know, subdued for now. Wait until I wake up and actually do things and then start blurting stuff out," Yugi mumbled, moving to settle back into the seat with his eyes closed. "Then we'll see how much crazier I'll be than your little tongue-touching-nose experiment."

Yami smiled and leaned forward, studying him for a second with his chin in his hands, the other teen seeming almost relaxed enough to fall asleep. "I have no doubt that you'll win this."

Yugi snorted and opened his eyes, looking at him through his lashes. "Damn straight I will," he snickered, smiling just enough to meet his eyes before yawning and stretching his arms out.

"This was your idea, you know."

"Oh my gods, please stop," he whined pitifully. "I don't want to feel guilty yet. Give me like…three hours and then you can point out how stupid I was to suggest it to Seto without your consent."

Yami chuckled and reached out to touch his knee, startling him slightly before he relaxed again. "Two hours and that's all. Then I'm going all out with my complaints. Understand, pretty boy?"

Yugi glared for a second and then nodded, smiling a little before closing his eyes.

"Come sit over here and I'll wake you up when we get to the airport."

"No, I suck at actually waking up when you tell me to. We'll go riding right past the airport if you let me sleep."

Yami opened his mouth to argue, considered, and instead nodded slowly; odds were, if Yugi fell asleep on him, he would be distracted enough to forget the name of the airport's train station anyways. And gods, if he didn't want to miss it just for the hell of it. But Yugi was excited about it and, just like with the rollercoaster, as long as he was happy, he would go with him.

So, half an hour later, both of them got off, Yugi yawning again before dragging Yami along by the hand, their fingers twined together and the smaller boy smiling at him every now and then before they found their way through security and to the gate where his family was already waiting.

"Hello, Yugi," his mom greeted.

"Hi, Mrs. Sennen." He blinked once, then twice, and slowly looked at Yami. "I did just greet the right person…right?"

Yami threw his head back, laughing. "Yes, little one, you did."

"Oh, okay, good."

"You seem pretty tired," his father murmured.

Yugi stared for a second, confused before glancing at Yami and then at the ambassador and back, mumbling, "Aren't you going to answer him?"

"Oh my gods," Yami snickered, covering his mouth. "Shit."

"What?"

"He was talking to you."

"Oh…Oh!" Yugi blushed and turned back to his boyfriend's father, blinking and fighting off a pitiful whine. "Oh, um, y-yes, I'm…yes, I'm really tired. Sorry, I um…yeah, I'm really tired."

"At this rate, I'm starting to wonder if there's any point where this kid isn't hilariously awkward," Bakura commented, smirking. "Makes me want to steal him from you even more, Yami."

"You touch him and I swear I'll tear your spine out and—"

"Ssh! Ssh! Goddamn it, Yami," his dad hissed, making a movement with his arms to lower his voice. "Not in public. Never in public. Someone tears his spine out and you're the first one they'll suspect."

"You have the fucking most awesome, laidback parents ever," Yugi commented a little loudly, trying to whisper and then frowning in confusion when the others started snickering.

"Yeah, yeah, I know I do," he chuckled, rolling his eyes and ruffling Yugi's hair playfully. "Hey, so when we get on the plane, you can sleep and then I'll wake you up, okay?"

The smaller teen nodded eagerly, smiling brightly at the thought of sleep.

"And then, the moment you wake up, I'm going to bitch like nobody's business."

Yugi opened his mouth to object and then nodded slightly after a moment, sighing softly. "Okay," he mumbled, smacking his lips together and pursing them. "But can I smack your ass when you do?"

Yami stopped short, eyes wide in shock, and Malik gawked and then huffed, "What the fuck? How the fuck do you get that fucking awesome? Like what? I mean, he bitches at you and you offer to smack his ass. Like…you know how amazing that shit is?"

"Dude, I'll pay you two hundred bucks to break up with him now and let me be his new boyfriend."

"Ssh!" Yugi mumbled, glaring at them and then turning back. "So, um…can I smack your ass when you do or…? No?"

Yami blinked once and then snickered, reaching up and scratching the back of his head, glancing around before turning back with an incredulous look. "Like…spanking or…?"

"Damn it, Yami, don't push your luck!" Bakura hissed, waving his hands wildly.

Yugi opened his mouth to answer but followed Yami's eyes when he saw the way that he was staring at his cousin, blinking and tilting his head in shock at the sight of the silver-haired teen's movements. "…You look like you're signaling an airplane to land."

The others started snickering and Bakura slowly put his hands back in his lap, narrowing his eyes while Yugi turned back slowly with a slightly hopeful look, mumbling, "No, I just want to smack your ass. Can I?"

"We need to talk to him about sex again," his mom whispered in her husband's ear; his dad slowly turned his head, looked at them for a moment, and then turned back with a shrug.

"I don't see them doing much besides actually smacking each other's asses."

"Ah, the supportive father role. It looks good on you."

"Everything looks good on me."

"And I'm the narcissistic one."

"…Yeah, okay," Yami agreed after a moment, blushing at the way that Yugi's eyes grew wide and excited and he lunged forward to hug him so tightly that he stumbled backwards slightly.

"Yay. I get to smack your tushy."

"…Wow, what an awkward word."

"Tushy," Yugi mumbled, dragging the word out before seeming to grow heavier in his arms; Yami started laughing and ran his hands over his sides so that the smaller boy scrambled to get away and hid behind Seto's seat, glaring at him over the brunet's shoulder.

"You're an asshole."

"I know. It's my profession."

---

Yugi let him get three words out and then swatted his ass, blinking at him innocently when he stopped short with wide eyes and glared; for a moment they stared at each other and then Yami hissed, "Son of a bitch."

"You said I could."

"…You…you…" He scoffed and grabbed his arms, pulling him into him so that their lips pressed together; the taller boy stumbled backwards with him in his grip, moving his right leg to wrap around his waist while his boyfriend blinked in shock and then pulled back, eyes wide.

Yami tilted his head in question and the smaller teen blinked before licking his lips and mumbled, "You know…'kissing' is kind of weird word." For a long second he just stared at his lips, reaching up after a moment to run his fingers over them just enough to make his mouth open for him. The smaller teen stared at his mouth for a moment, drifting his thumb over his lips before looking up and grinning widely. "I like the term 'face battle' better."

Yami blinked and Yugi's thumb slipped when he asked, "Face battle?" before glancing at his finger and nipping the pad, the smaller boy blinking before smiling widely.

"Yeah," he commented, moving his index finger to tap him on the nose, his smile growing more pronounced as those red eyes brightened even as he scrunched his nose up. "Like someone says…'May I challenge you to a face battle, my good sir?'"

Yami chuckled and nipped his thumb again, snickering, "Face battle me in the rain."

Yugi snorted, laughing and shaking his head before pressing their lips together again; for a minute he was happy and then Yami pushed him away, startling him.

"Fucking hell, Yugi, if you could just…moan a little for me, that would be great."

The blue-violet orbs grew wider in shock, blinking before looking him over in confusion.

"Your moans are…super important to me so just—Ra, Yugi, pump up the volume! Just moan. It's hot, okay?"

Yugi blushed, face feeling too hot for him to think straight for a split second before he let out a soft laugh with a shake of his head.

"Or you could laugh," the taller teen muttered, slightly wistful as he traced his fingers over his sides and gained a shiver of delight from him. "I don't think there's a better sound to hear…"

Two hours later Yugi really wished that he had been able to make Yami keep that happy spirit he had when they were in the hotel room checking in and just generally kissing and touching and joking around. Because now he was pissy and pouting and refused to say anything that wasn't a soft sneer or hiss of "I hate you."

Which was exactly why he had just said it again.

The mall worker dressed as Santa wandered by and Yugi turned to him with a huge grin, hoping to diffuse some of the frustration. "You're on the naughty list already, Yami. You don't want to be marked as the naughtiest, right?"

Yami curled his lips back and growled, "Santa. Isn't. Real."

Yugi flinched at the volume he used as several smaller kids passing by turned their heads but didn't seem to know what he had said so they continued walking. "Shut. Up," he hissed, glaring in frustration.

He made a nonverbal sneer and continued sulking in the seat they were given to overlook the duels going on; the entire ground floor had been blocked off for this entire event and two other malls were doing the same. Yami was to watch the event in the event's main mall, on a little in-stage podium…thing that they had made for them and the benefactors. The latest Kaiba Corp technology—holograms attached to a duel disk and Duelist IDs—were to be used and—and the World Champion was…being anything but happy about what was currently going on. Yugi had a feeling he would have a better chance of getting a mule to kiss him than making the red-eyed teen lose his frustrated undertone of an attitude.

"Oh come on, Yami! You're meeting your American fans and everything! Don't be sulky," he tried, smiling widely because he refused to have his boyfriend so unhappy if he could help it.

"I will sulk all I want to," Yami hissed, glaring at him.

"Okay, well, you know, it's not very attractive so…" he sighed.

"And you say you love me," he scoffed.

"I do!" he blurted out, blushing at how desperate he sounded and the attention he attracted; he stared at a girl until she looked away, huffing in frustration.

"Then you should cherish the sulk!"

Yugi found himself biting his lip to keep from laughing and admitting that he had a small bit of a thing for that sulk he was putting on; he was just so cute when he was sulking and he loved it and he wanted to kiss the sulk away so that he would melt into him and…wow, he needed to stop while he was ahead.

"Mm, now isn't that cute?" Yami purred next to him.

"Pay attention, okay?" he whispered weakly, blushing harshly and listening to the referee with the microphone explaining the rules, watching as Yami huffed and turned away, shaking his head.

"And the long-awaited Christmas Charity Tournament is almost ready to begin!"

"Bet you can't say that five times fast," Yami muttered before sighing and turning to him with a frown. "And you're sure you don't want to duel?"

Yugi nodded immediately. "Yes."

"Says he loves me. Won't even duel for me."

"You know this isn't cute!" he objected weakly, blushing and fighting the urge to duck his head.

"Everything is cute when it involves you," Yami snickered, purring and leaning a little closer to him.

"Please stop," Yugi breathed out, blushing harder and swallowing thickly.

The taller teen opened and closed his mouth twice and then snarled, "Fine" with a loud sigh, crossing his arms and sulking; Yugi blinked once and then quickly moved to peck him on the cheek, ducking his head and missing it when Yami blushed faintly, but shivering when he caught the purr in the air.

He was still kind of reminiscing about the purr two hours later when Yami had long since gone quiet and started studying the duels that had been going on, occasionally speaking and predicting the winner for a game when things got tight and Yugi was unsure of who would make it to the next round; now they were looking through his deck and the other two decks he had, both of them studying the cards thoughtfully.

Yami wasn't really talking but he occasionally made the random comment, sometimes about the duels going on below or the new deck or about how cute he was and a thanks for helping him; Yugi was happily commenting on who he thought would win or which monsters were his favorite or just plain blushing and stumbling over his words when the other male praised something about him or gave a thank you.

"Oh my god, it really is you!" a new voice cut into their little deck-building exercise, making Yugi stop short and look at Yami and then at the newcomer who strutted—yes, strutted because there was no way that was a normal walk—around the table to stand in front of his boyfriend.

Yami raised his head slowly, tilting his head. "Me? Well duh. Who else would they call the World Champion?"

"Yami Atemu Sennen," the blonde stated, drawing his name out like some kind of sinful pleasure, Yugi's skin crawling in alarm and shock at her forwardness.

"Wow, the name must have been first subtle clue and then you unraveled the mystery like a regular motherfucking Sherlock."

The woman blinked in shock and Yugi bit his lip, ducking his head and failing to contain his laughter, quickly burying his face in his arms while Yami glanced at him and grinned, chuckling softly.

"Someone is in a sore mood," she stated coldly, glaring at the red-eyed teen briefly.

"Your deduction skills are amazing."

"Don't be mean," Yugi managed to get out between his laughter as he nudged him in the ribs and gave him a pleading look.

Yami scoffed and let out a loud huff, rolling his eyes and sitting farther back in his chair before sighing and smiling at him warmly. "Fine, I'll be nice…For you."

"Thank you," he mumbled so softly that he thought the other boy didn't hear it, going about sitting up straighter and reaching over to tap Osiris. "I really want to see you play him."

Yami smirked and looked the card over. "Sure, aibou," he stated simply, passing it to him. "Put him in the new deck and we'll see how it works out."

"Okay!" he exclaimed, eyes bright as he held the card. "He is so awesome."

"I know, right?"

Yugi grinned at the wink he was given and placed the god card in the new deck they were forming in the center of the table; the woman leveled a stare at the smaller teen, smirking as she commented, "Oh how cute. You have a miniature version of you as your secretary."

Yugi didn't have to look to realize just how badly she had overstepped her boundaries with that little statement, swallowing hard as Yami stiffened, bristling beside him even though his eyes stayed completely blank, staring at her as he asked, "Excuse me?"

"Yami, don't," he murmured immediately, casting him a glance and shaking his head; they didn't need a fight—verbal or physical—and the comment was hardly anything worth the offense that Yami had taken towards it.

"But she…!" he started, opening and closing his mouth once before scowling and nodding. "Fine. Fine, whatever."

"It's kind of cute how you're letting your secretary pretend to tell you what to do. I have to say, I love a guy who isn't afraid of a little roleplay," she teased, purring.

Yami merely blinked at her. "Then you would be sorely disappointed with me," he replied coldly, leaning forward and seeming to size her up. "So why exactly are you flirting with me?"

"It's not so much flirting when you know you belong with them," she stated, smirking. "It's more…reminding them who they belong to."

Yami tilted his head. "Oh, I don't know. I flirt with my boyfriend all the time."

"Cute. Boyfriend. As if. I don't have one," she scoffed.

"That…went right over your head, didn't it, dear bottle blonde?"

"The name's Mai. You should remember that. For when you're screaming it later."

"Cute. You think I'm interested in you," he snorted, raising a brow.

"I most certainly have your attention right now, hot stuff," she scoffed.

"You should know it's more pity than anything else, my dear."

"Pet names already," she purred softly. "I like."

"Hmm, well that makes two of you, doesn't it, little one?"

Yugi bit back some laughter and looked up, smiling slightly at him.

"That right there, talking to him instead of me? Not. So. Cute," she hissed, raising her brow and giving Yugi a challenging look.

"Is that the only word you know?"

"Uno wordo!" Yugi blurted out immediately, blinking and blushing as he felt her gaze harden as she stared at him coldly.

"Oh so you can talk," she murmured. "I was starting to think you were a mute."

Yami smiled a little at Yugi and moved to press his leg against the smaller boy's with a curious comment of "I'm honestly surprised he lasted this long. Normally he cracks a lot sooner."

The smaller boy's blush came back with a vengeance and only grew tenfold when he swallowed hard and found that Yami was smiling fondly at him as he murmured, "Seems television cures your little outbursts."

"My boyfriend is worth four million dollars…"

"Tell me you aren't about to start repeating that again, aibou," he snorted, pausing as he tilted his head and stared at him thoughtfully. "Then again, it was awesome to hear you mumbling like that. Hot as hell. So please continue your repetition of the price for my duel."

Yugi blushed at the reminder of his little ramblings when the tournament had been first announced and Yami had stood up, winking at the camera when they stated he was there and the price his duel stood at it.

"Hush you."

The taller teen snickered, opening his mouth.

"Uh, hello? Still here."

Yami turned to her with a cold glare and then gestured all around with a dismissive flick of his wrist, snarling, "And obviously no one gives a flying fuck. You have a duel disk so go duel."

"Oh how adorable. You think you can boss me around!"

"Oh yes. Adorable," he spat, scowling. "It's so adorable it makes me want to gouge your eyes out."

Yugi turned to him with bright eyes. "Gouge is a nice word. I like it."

Yami purred, nodding. "It is. It is a nice word, isn't it? Very nice."

"Mmhmm! Fun to say too."

"Isn't it? Almost too much fun!" He paused and then looked at her and snapped his fingers, pointing and gesturing, snarling a cold, "Get the fuck off my podium-stage-thing and find yourself a fucking duel somewhere to participate in."

She opened her mouth to argue with him and he held his hand up and snapped his fingers again.

"Fuck off."

Yugi blinked when she went to respond and got the same treatment, the gesture repeated the next twelve times until she finally huffed and stomped off in that weird strut that made the smaller boy blink a few times.

Yami turned back to his deck and spread a few cards out for him to pick one to put in the deck.

"You know, you shouldn't get so mean," Yugi commented, blushing when those red eyes focused in on his and burned their way into his blood like lava beneath his skin.

"You're my little one and I'll protect you any way I see fit," he replied curtly. "If that means having a verbal smackdown with…a really retarded blonde, I will do it."

"You don't have to protect me from—"

"She insulted you," he growled softly, cutting him off and giving him an apologetic glance a second later when he saw the startled look on his face. "I don't like people insulting you. Or…looking at you like that. And if I get the chance to stop it, I'm going to."

Yugi opened his mouth to object, maybe to say that he could do that himself, but he stopped immediately because he knew he couldn't; or at least, that he wouldn't. Not for himself. For Yami, yes, but not for himself.

---

The next day, Yugi found himself glancing at him and then back at the duels and blushing to the point that he was pretty sure he was going to get a fever. "Yami."

The other teen didn't look up, asking, "Hmm?"

"You're staring at my crotch," Yugi stated, shifting awkwardly. "Like…really staring. As in…anyone around us could tell what you're looking at—please stop looking at it!"

Yami pursed his lips. "I can't help it."

"Yami…"

The taller teen huffed and sulked as Yugi shifted again awkwardly. "So first you say I can't kiss you on TV—"

"Uh, actually that was Seto."

"—then you also say that I can't touch you on TV—"

"Um…that was also Seto."

"—and now you wish to further ruin me by saying that I can't stare at you?"

"No, Yami, you can stare all you want—just above the waist."

"But…I want you below the waist too!"

"You can't have that right now. So just…stop looking at it."

Yami leveled him a glare, narrowing his eyes. "Your cruelty is astounding."

"Yami, seriously, come on. We're on TV and you're staring at my crotch. How do you not see the problem with that?"

"Problem? There's no problem. I am looking at something I want out of its cozy little home in your jeans and under your boxers. Cause I really, really want to see it at some point." Yami paused and pursed his lips. "Can't we just…flash each other a little?"

"Oh my gods, Yami!" he cried, gawking at him in shock.

"Fine," the taller hissed, scowling. "You're a liar."

"Huh?"

"You don't love me. Because if you did, you would let me see him!"

Yugi rolled his eyes. "Guilt trip is not working, Yami."

"Goddamn it all!" the other boy snarled.

Everyone in the "stadium" looked at him in pure shock.

Yami continued sulking, sitting back and crossing his arms, shaking his head. "I hate you. I hate that fucker over there. I hate him—and her—and them. I hate everyone!"

Yugi blushed and then giggled after a moment.

"Oh yes, Yugi," Yami snarled, glaring angrily, "Laugh at my misfortune! Laugh at my disappointment! Fucking laugher!"

Yugi blushed harder and bit his lip. "I can't help it. It's just…you're so…Oh my god. Ha."

"So what?" Yami asked, eyes widening slightly in curiosity as he leaned forward a little. "What am I…so…?"

Yugi blinked and stared at him for a moment before swallowing hard and shaking his head slowly, whispering a soft, "You're infuriating."

"I'm going to take that as a compliment."

It was definitely a compliment.

---

Yugi wasn't really sure why he caught his attention until the moment that his hair gleamed under the fluorescents and a streak of dark teal shown for a second among the messy brown spikes, eyes wide in shock. What the hell?

Was that…natural?

He blinked as his boyfriend glanced at him and raised his eyebrows, obviously unimpressed; had he seen what Yugi just had? How could he not be impressed by it?

"Well, hello, Green Eyes! How are you?"

"Uh…good…?" the boy muttered, eyes wide as he glanced around awkwardly.

Yami snorted and looked at Yugi, eyes widening and a million different shots of insecurity surging through him as he mumbled, "Yugi…?"

Yugi opened and closed his mouth, glancing at his boyfriend before shooting forward and running over to the other boy. "Your hair is magnificent!"

"What…the fuck…?" Yami sputtered, eyes wide as he took in the scene in front of him; his aibou was…touching that bastard's hair! He had his hands in his hair and—!

Oh, that was it! This fucker was going down.

The boy awkwardly glanced at Yugi with some kind of flushed lovesick expression that no one else but Yami saw.

"T-thank you…?"

Two hours later Yami was pacing their hotel room, eyes darting around the room as he clenched his jaw and tightened his hands into fists in his jacket; by the gods, how the fuck had that little rat managed to get Yugi's attention like that?

Was it really his hair or…?

He froze and his head snapped around to study his boyfriend who was fast asleep under the covers, looking beyond adorable and sweet in his little blissfully unaware state, his entire body tensing and his breathing coming out a little rougher than he thought was possible.

Son of a bitch.

That teal-eyed fucker was the one who had been Yugi's admirer before, wasn't he?

What if he was at the tournament just to get close to Yugi again and planned to steal him away from him?

He snarled loudly and Yugi was immediately awake, startled and looking around before spotting Yami disappear into the bathroom. He yawned and snuggled back into his pillow; Yami had probably just gotten up to use the bathroom and the door had creaked a little.

---

"He's awkward and boring," Yami hissed when he saw Yugi still looking at the little bastard, growing frustrated as he added, "He doesn't do anything but cheer his brothers on."

Hermos and Critias. Those two little fucks were way bigger than him and he had no doubt that if he started a real fight with this loser "Timaeus" those bastards would jump in the middle of it.

So he couldn't attack him like he had originally planned to.

The smaller boy gave him a slightly puzzled, hurt frown. "Yami…that's all I'm doing too."

"Yes, but you are adorable and that makes all the difference," he stated firmly.

He couldn't help it when he smiled and shook his head. "Whatever you say."

Ten minutes later Yami found himself feeling his blood growing hot in his veins with pure anger. He didn't fucking do that with his hair. Yami couldn't even— "Get your hands out of his hair!" he snapped.

That little bastard had the audacity to shoot him a thankful look.

"But…but I…Yami, his hair is glorious!"

And how he had that pathetic little awkward frown he always had on his face.

"Your secretary is right, Yami. His hair is amazing," Mai commented, a little bit of a sultry rasp underlining her words as she started towards him. "But I bet yours is softer."

"Don't touch me," Yami spat, glaring angrily.

Yugi opened his mouth to try to tell her to back off but fell silent at the last second, feeling a little sick to his stomach with the whole situation; Yami could definitely stand up for himself but it was really a matter of if he wanted to or not. Because, honestly, that little comment sounded a little weak to him.

"Isn't he just so cute, thinking he can boss me around," the blonde purred, rolling her eyes and stroking at his hair, smiling widely. "So cute."

"Oh hell no!" Yugi snarled, eyes nearly bugging out of his head and cheeks turning bright red in anger. "Get your cougar paws out of my boyfriend's hair before you damage it!"

Yami felt his mouth fall open, shocked out of his mind by Yugi's anger, blinking in surprise twice before he felt excitement bubbling up inside of him; was Yugi about to get feisty?

"Oh fuck no, you did not!" Mai snarled after regaining her composure enough to stop gaping at the small teen as well, yanking her hands out of his hair.

Yami screeched an unholy noise that made Yugi freeze in place and the others all gawk at him as he yowled, "Ow! Holy fuck! My hair!" before whining pitifully and grabbing at his scalp. "Oh my Ra!"

"Sorry, snookums," Mai murmured with a pitying noise, pursing her lips. "I forgot about my bracelet."

Gods, so much pain; Yami could literally feel the tears pricking at the back of his eyes even as he snarled, "Wanted to steal a clump to put on eBay so you could quit your fucking hooker job?"

"I'll ignore that because you're obviously in pain," Mai snorted, laughing. "But if you talk to me like that again, I swear I'll punish you."

"I should mutilate you for harming my hair!" Yami spat.

"Oh please, sweetheart, you can just style over it," she scoffed, waving her hand dismissively.

"You mean like those shitty little curls you have?" he hissed from behind his teeth.

The blonde scowled, reaching up and touching her hair. "My hair is natural! Not like that rat's nest on your head! At least learn to style it properly!"

"This right here"—Yami gestured to his hair and face as he jumped to his feet and moved around the table, stepping towards her and snarling—"is natural. Unlike yours, you stupid bottle blonde!"

Timaeus's eyes nearly popped out of his head, unable to look away as he stared and Yugi blinked a few times, watching with a slightly horrified expression as Mai did that diva thing he had seen on TV, where a "ho" would snap her fingers and kind of…bobble their head like an ostrich or something, trying to intimidate…

"Oh hell to the fuck no you did not!"

Yami mimicked her movement and snapped his fingers. "Oh hell to the fuck yes I just did!"

"So much sass!" Yugi cried excitedly, biting his lip.

Timaeus cringed behind him. "Shouldn't you…try to stop this? I mean…he's your boyfriend…"

Yugi glanced at him dismissively and then turned back, eyes bright as he took in the way that Yami and Mai were sizing each other up like a pair of wild animals. "Nope. I want to see him take her down," he declared, grinning and crossing his arms in front of his chest. "He's getting to that point where he might just pull her hair out in retaliation—it's why we might just have a law against us going out in public anymore."

"Both of you are crazy," the brown-and-teal-streaked-haired boy commented, blinking in shock.

The small teen shrugged. "You get like that when you have a significant other. It naturally progresses."

Timaeus blinked. "I knew there was a reason I'm still single," he commented before freezing, eyes nearly popping out of his head as he gawked at him. "Wait! So this is normal for you?"

"Yes. Very," he stated, glancing at him and raising his eyebrows. "In fact, he hasn't even begun to hit crazy yet."

The brunet shook his head slowly. "That's just…"

Yugi waved his hand at him urgently for him to shut up. "Ssh! Shit is about to get real!"

"If I blindfolded myself and just cut the fuck out of that mound of shit on your head, it still wouldn't qualify as hair!" Yami snarled while the blonde reached up and touched her hair. "If I were you, I would just call it quits and shave it!"

The youngest of the three brothers gawked and swapped looks with them.

His red-haired brother Hermos smirked, snickering, "This is awesome. A publicized event and he's over there talking about her shaving her head."

"…These people," his stoic black-haired sibling Critias muttered.

"Take it back!" Mai screeched suddenly.

"I can't take back the hair you pulled out of my head so I don't think I will!"

Yugi snorted and covered his mouth, laughing, "Oh my gods."

"Think it'll get worse?" Bakura hummed thoughtfully from where he and Malik were coming back from the snack booth, milkshakes in hand and watching as their cousin continued his tirade with the blonde.

"It better. It's not a show until either she slaps him or he really loses his shit."

"My sister had a Barbie doll that I chopped the hair off and stuck into the grill one year when she pissed me off," Yami continued, smirking with cold glittering ice to his eyes. "My dad managed to pull it out despite how fucked up it was. And now, looking at that dyed peroxide farm you call your hair, I just know that Barbie looked so much fucking better!"

"Hey!" Yugi snarled angrily when he saw Mai raising her hand to slap Yami. "Don't touch my boyfriend!"

Yami's eyebrows shot up, turning his attention to him just as Mai did the same, spinning around and snapping, "Your boyfriend? Oh, honey, I don't know what world you live in but—"

"Obviously not the same one as you!" the small teen snapped, pointing at Yami. "Yami is gay! As in homosexual! As in he likes the train and not the tunnel!"

Bakura and Malik both sputtered and then burst out laughing, giving each other high-fives and smirking at the ideas of this escalating further with Yugi's help.

"I guess she didn't get the memo about my gayness," Yami commented, eyebrows shooting up.

"Well that's a disappointment, now isn't it? Look, Cougar, here's the thing. Yami is mine and I'm sorry that you missed the memo about his gayness"—his eyes widened and his head snapped towards his boyfriend, shocked and losing all forms of the sneer he had going on—"W-wait, was there really a memo about it?"

Bakura and Malik doubled over, leaning against each other and laughing harder; this kid was not about to win this fight.

"No, now just keep going!"

Yugi blinked and then turned back eyes wide. "Um…" He furrowed his brows and cast Yami a pleading glance. "Where was I?"

"Shit," Bakura cried, shaking his head and nearly falling over himself.

"Something about her missing the memo," Timaeus said after a moment.

"I can answer my boyfriend's questions!" Yami snarled, bristling, eyes burning with hellfire that made the teal-eyed boy jerk backwards.

Yugi groaned and shook his head before turning back to the blonde. "The point is, Yami is gay! There might or might not"—he looked at first Bakura and Malik and then slowly towards Yami—"be a memo about it. I don't…I don't know and I really couldn't care less at his point. But! The point is that Yami is gay!"

"This is the one that's supposed to be telling me off?" Mai asked, clearly unimpressed as she put her right hand on her hip, wrist folded and looking ready to roll her eyes.

"Shut up!" Yugi snarled, scowling. "And furthermore, if you touch him, I'm going to take Bakura's milkshake over there and dump it over your head! Got it? You don't touch my boyfriend. He is mine. And no one smacks him but me!"

"Yeah!" Yami agreed immediately, smirking and crossing his arms.

"Did he just…?" Timaeus muttered, blinking. "Did he seriously just agree to that?"

"Yeah, I'll still waiting for him to follow it up with 'Hey!'" Critias commented, shaking his head.

Both Bakura and Malik burst into tears, sobbing and struggling to keep from falling onto the ground and curling into balls. They really expected him to object to that?

"Kick her ass, Yugi!"

Yugi waved dismissively. "Hush you."

"Get louder—like you do in bed!" Yami snickered, grinning and waggling his eyebrows.

Yugi blushed and shot him a furious look. "Shut up!"

"Louder, louder, louder!" Yami cried, throwing his arms up and doing fist pumps.

"…His boyfriend is a douche," Timaeus commented, sounding flustered.

"He's a jealous bastard, that's what he is," Yugi snickered, voice fond.

"You want me to go off stroking someone else's hair, Yugi? Because, as you can see, I have a very eager pussycat right here in front of me!"

Yugi swung his head around to glare at him angrily, snarling, "Shut up. We're supposed to be tag-teaming her!"

"We are?" Yami asked with wide eyes, blinking in shock. "Oh, uh, right!"

Yugi smacked his palm against his forehead as his boyfriend cleared his throat and glared at the blonde again. "Why do I try?"

"Hush you," the other teen stated, waving dismissively. "I'm trying to get back into my demented rage."

"Well, what threw you out of it?!" Yugi cried, throwing his arms out.

"My boyfriend was being undeniably cute when he stared a cougar down," Yami stated with a wide grin, making the smaller boy blush and shyly glance at the ground before peeking at him through his lashes again while the taller snickered.

"It's not even worth fighting anymore," Mai huffed, crossing her arms and shaking her head. "They're getting lost in this crap."

Bakura and Malik both rolled their eyes, sighing and shaking their heads; well…at least it had been fun while it had lasted…

"Yeah, they always do," Bakura commented, huffing.

"Fucking magnetism or something like that," Malik agreed.

"I don't think that's what it's called…" Timaeus commented quietly.

"Fuck you," the silver-haired teen spat irritably.

"Yeah! Fuck you!" Malik snarled, blinking and then leaning forward to whisper in his cousin's ear. "Why are we fucking them again?"

Bakura let out a yowl and smacked his forehead against his free palm a few times. "I'm surrounded by idiots!"

"It's the peroxide from her hair. It seems to seep into everyone else's brain as well," Yami commented.

"Ooh!" Yugi cried, snapping his fingers and pointing at him, sounding like an overly excited child who was witnessing someone else being called out of class; Yami glanced at him and smirked a little, shaking his head.

---

Yami finally lost it on the fourth day into the tournament; Yugi had chosen to sit next to Timaeus and was constantly messing with the boy's hair and it drove him over the wall with enough envy that he jumped to his feet, activated his duel disk so that its four million dollar "tag" glowing bright red caught everyone's attention—especially the newscast's—and snarled, "Get the fuck up" at Timaeus who blinked a few times and then looked scared out of his mind.

"What? Yami, he's not—"

"Shut up," he snarled at the smaller boy, narrowing his eyes into a glare and baring his teeth. "Sit back down and just shut up."

Yugi blinked in shock, so stunned by his boyfriend's words that he couldn't think of any other way to react than to do as he said and sit back down, staring at him in a stupor as Timaeus got to his feet slowly and followed him to the "stadium".

He watched the weirdest duel in the history of duels; Yami didn't try to make small talk and Timaeus looked like he might want to pee himself at any moment, Bakura and Malik were shaking their heads and sighing constantly, Critias and Hermos seemed too shocked to actually comprehend what was going on, and Mai was laughing her ass off every time that Yugi winced when one of them landed damage to the other's life points.

Osiris was summoned three turns in, Scapegoats used as tokens to do so, the next card Infinite Cards and then Yami just bid his time while Timaeus actually seemed to have some kind of strategy that he was working on even though he wasn't technically supposed to be dueling in the first place. Twenty turns in, Yami blocked what he seemed to know would be Mirror Force by summoning Jinzo. Another five turns in, Jinzo was destroyed with a highly powered up Shadow Ghoul that not even Osiris's special ability could take out when it was summoned to the field. Fifteen turns in, Yami had to discard Infinite Cards and then all of his hand with Card Destruction a second later, leaving him at a hand of six that he went about setting across the field until there was only one left in his hand. Timaeus made the mistake of attacking a one-thousand-point Osiris only to be hit by Magical Cylinder that nearly wiped his life points to zero.

Yami was laughing when Timaeus finally passed his turn a few minutes later. "You know what I love about my deck?" he muttered, laughing as he pressed a button on the duel disk and the hologram of one of the cards rose up. "This right here. I love it. Berserker Soul. Ever heard of it?"

Timaeus winced. "Yeah, I've heard of it."

"Oh goody, so you know that I get to keep drawing until I get something other than a monster card."

"Yes."

"Great," Yami spat, smirking and snatching a card out of his deck. "Oops, look a monster."

Osiris's jaw opened and lightning as vibrant as the sun shot straight into Timaeus who hit the ground with the force of the projectors' stimulation program that made them feel a small bit of what the attacks would have been like if it were real.

"Oh, look another one."

"Oh, fucking hell," Bakura huffed.

"Oi," Malik groaned, shaking his head.

"Monster card!" Yami sang. Yugi flinched and watched as Timaeus groaned and didn't bother trying to get up again just as Yami laughed, "Oh, oh, what's this? Oh, a monster card!"

"What the hell is with him?" Critias scoffed, growing irritated.

"Don't tell me you don't get it," Hermos snorted, gesturing. "Yami is being piss-sore over Yugi spending time with our little brother."

Yugi turned his head, gawking at them before turning back as Yami held a card, pursed his lips, and then laughed and flipped it around. "Wow, Timaeus, this is not your lucky fucking day, is it?"

"Goddamn it, at this rate, this will never stop," Bakura sighed, rolling his eyes.

"All because Yugi didn't keep his hands to himself," Malik snorted, glancing at the smaller boy who opened and closed his mouth and then glanced sideways at his boyfriend who did a little dance and flipped around another monster card.

"What the hell is this even about?" Timaeus hissed as another blast hit him.

"You know damn well what this is about," Yami snarled, flipping another card. "Hello, Beaver Warrior. Oh, oh, and Silver Fang. How about Gaia? Hmm, look at that, there's Feral Imp. Summoned Skull, and Mammoth Graveyard, and oh, look at this one! It's Stone fucking Soldier!"

He threw each of them into the graveyard and drew another. "Gazelle—"

"Yami!" Yugi cried out, eyes wide. "Stop it, Yami!"

"Shut up," the taller teen snarled, grabbing another card. "I'm not done yet."

"Yes, you are—"

"Red Eyes Black Dragon says otherwise," Yami spat, "and so does Dark Magician and Dark Magician Girl and—"

"God, you infuriating fucking bastard, stop it!"

The red-eyed teen turned his head and regarded him coldly for a second, just long enough for the holograms to start disappearing, Osiris firing off one last blast of lightning before falling away as well. Timaeus was getting to his feet and Yami snarled, rushing him while Bakura and Malik leaped up from where they were sitting, going to catch him.

"Fucking hell," Bakura burst out laughing as Yugi got in front of his boyfriend and held his arms out, looking startled but completely firm as Yami stopped a few steps away. "By the gods, Yami's lost his fucking mind."

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Yugi hissed, shaking his head and glaring at him, feeling a shiver travel down his spine for a second. "He lost, okay? He lost a long time ago and you just kept going and—What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"That little fucker behind you is my problem," he snarled, ignoring it when Critias and Hermos got to their brother's side and started to size him up while his own cousins got to his and smirked as they looked at Timaeus on the ground.

"Damn," Bakura snickered, patting his cousin's shoulder. "That shit was amazing."

"Get your hand off me," the red-eyed teen snarled.

For a second he almost didn't listen but a single glance at Yami's face made him quickly remove his hand and look at Yugi who was still staring at his boyfriend and had yet to look anywhere else.

"You did this…because you got jealous?" he hissed, Yami ignoring him pointedly and instead glaring at Timaeus with a murderous expression. "You didn't have anything to be jealous about! I like his hair, so what? Goddamn it, Yami—"

"Dude, not to be a douche or anything, but you should probably shut the fuck up before he loses his shit," Bakura muttered.

"Shut up," the smallest teen spat, not looking away from his boyfriend before marching forward and shoving him back a step to get his attention. "Listen to me, damn it. You didn't have anything to worry about. You know I'm not going to do that! I liked his fucking hair! Fucking hell, Yami! What the fuck do you even—? You didn't have to do that! You know that!"

"Well, maybe I'm just an insecure little piece of shit!" Yami spat. "Have you ever thought of that?"

Yugi opened and closed his mouth and went to say something or other—he wasn't really sure what, but he knew he wanted to at least try to make him feel better—but the red-eyed teen merely sneered at Timaeus over his shoulder and turned on his heel, snarling at some woman with a video camera to get it off him before he charged for privacy encroachment.

"What the fuck…just happened?" Yugi breathed out, looking at Yami's cousins for answers and finding that both of them cast him slightly frustrated looks before shaking their heads and wandering off.

The small teen caught up to him in their room where Yami was actually investigating a tray of food that had a letter attached to it saying it was a make up dinner from Mai; Yugi stared at it for a second and then looked at his boyfriend again.

"You're not actually going to eat that, are you?" he muttered, blinking and glancing down at the tray and back to him.

Yami ignored him for a second, looking it over, and then hissed, "I don't know yet."

"Yami, honestly, please don't," he mumbled, looking at the tray and then at him and back again. "I—"

"I'm hungry," he snapped indignantly. "I'm hungry and I might just eat this bullshit meal if I see fit."

"Yami, you know you didn't have to do that!" Yugi ground out from between his teeth. "I wasn't going to fucking cheat on you with him or anything! I wouldn't fucking cheat on you in the first place."

"You were petting his fucking hair. You chose to sit with him instead of me. You didn't once look over. You kept your hands in his hair the entire fucking time," Yami hissed, grabbing a piece of lobster and breaking the shell, glancing at its insides for a second; ew. He hated seafood. It went against his vegetarian diet unless it was fish. And something he could actually name. This red-shelled bastard in front of him had some long ass name that either Mai pulled out of her ass in this note or was so rare that he had yet to hear about it in his lifetime. "You were fucking cooing and chatting it up with him and you know how fucking pissed and jealous I got when it came to that bullshit thing with Espa. You should have fucking known you were pushing it!"

Yugi flinched and chewed his cheek, reaching up to bite his nail; he had known that. In fact, he had kind of just wanted to see if he could get Yami jealous enough to look as hot as he had when he jumped to assumptions with Espa even though he had obviously known none of it was true or even remotely so. This time he had just wanted to see if it would piss Yami off enough that he would get a little feisty while they were alone, just mess around and maybe snap at him a little; he liked the feeling of knowing that he drove Yami crazy enough that he got jealous like that. But having Timaeus forced into a duel where Osiris was blasting him the entire time?

That was not something he had wanted or expected or supported at all.

"Ra fucking…" Yami bared his teeth and slowly shook his head. "You knew what the fuck you were doing, didn't you?"

The smaller teen swallowed harshly and mumbled, "I didn't think that you would…"

"You really thought I wouldn't lose my shit? Are you kidding me, Yugi?"

"I…I'm sorry. I just…I…" He shook his head slowly and glanced at the plate of food. "I liked his hair."

"Hair fanatic. I'm dating a goddamned hair fanatic," Yami spat, rolling his eyes and looking at his lobster again, pushing the cart away with his foot and heading over to the bed. "He goes around fucking stroking other people's hair and wonders why his boyfriend goes insane about it and puts his life in jeopardy going off on the little bastard with the hair."

"…Life in jeopardy?" Yugi blinked slowly and then stared at him. "What does that even mean?"

"Did you see the fucking size of those bastards, Yugi?" he snapped. "Did you see how fucking tall Critias and Hermos are? Are you fucking shitting me right now, Yugi? Are you? Are you shitting me? Those bastards are so fucking tall they're like…Seto on fucking stilts. Critias has fucking legs like a goddamn stork. Did you not see that shit?"

The smaller boy blinked and then laughed, "That's true. He does have pretty long legs."

Yami shook his head slightly and glanced at the clock. "You know, I'm pretty sure I just ruined my goody-two-shoes public name for you." He paused. "Either that or Seto is paying off the security guards and everyone else with cameras, erasing all traces of the footage and possibly all equipment at the scene and leaving some more money with a little note that he hopes they understand his safety precaution."

Yugi smiled and shook his head, mumbling, "I'm sorry."

"Whatever. I think we're over that."

"What?"

"I said we're over it. As in we can just move on from it because I swear on Ra—"

"You are going to apologize."

"Fuck that. I refuse."

"No, Yami, seriously, you need to apologize."

"No. I'll let him dwell on being blasted by Osiris for a while and not give one fuck about it and—"

"No, no, Yami, seriously, you're going to apologize."

"Make me!"

"Fine. I will." He paused and looked at him slowly. "Either you're going to apologize I swear I'll sit with him the entire tournament and—"

"Why do you hate me?" Yami snarled, eyes wide as he glared at him angrily and crossed his arms, shaking his head. "You brought me here when you knew it would fucking stress me out and then you start petting his hair when you knew that it would drive me insane and now you're fucking demanding an apology?"

"Yes. I want you to apologize to Timaeus."

"You apologize!"

"I already planned on that."

Yami opened his mouth to snap at him and then very quickly shut it again, frowning and pouting as he snapped, "Fine. Fine. Fine."

"Good!"

---

Yugi led him over to the teal-eyed boy immediately; Timaeus looked like he was about to flee but stopped short when the smaller boy awkwardly said, "Okay, just give us five seconds and that's all. I promise he's not going to throttle you or anything."

The tallest boy in their little group glanced at Yami and then Yugi and back, clearing his throat awkwardly. "Sure…"

Yugi nudged his boyfriend's arm and Yami ignored him pointedly, staring off towards one of the snack booths. "Yami!" he whined, grabbing his jacket sleeve and pulling. "You promised."

"I did no such thing."

"But you agreed to!"

"And now I'm not going to."

"Fine, you know what, I will do it!"

Yami turned his head, glaring at Yugi for a moment, and then dragged his eyes up to Timaeus before grabbing Yugi and snapping, "Mine."

"W-what?"

"Y—"

"I said he's mine," Yami spat. "As in my boyfriend. As in mine. As in not yours!"

Timaeus did the smart thing of backing up a step and holding his hands up while the red-eyed teen continued bristling and glaring angrily. "Whoa, whoa, I know that. I—yeah, I know. He's yours. He's your boyfriend…"

"Great. Now that we have that under—"

"No, no, Yami that is not a—"

Yami rolled his eyes and then snapped, "Yugi wants to be able to keep touching your hair for the remainder of the tournament"—Yugi blinked and then stared, opening and closing his mouth before blurting out, "I—what?" that his boyfriend steadily ignored—"and if you touch him back you should know your brothers? They won't be able to protect you."

Timaeus blinked twice and his eyebrows shot up as he looked at Yugi with wide eyes and the small teen blinked and spun on his boyfriend, confused out of his mind.

"Wait…what?"

"Now that that's settled, I'm going to go over there and get a soda and then I'm going to go find my cousins," Yami announced, nodding once and heading off before either of them could argue.

"What the hell was…that?"

Yugi huffed. "Him getting away without apologizing."

"Oh…" Timaeus blinked, watching the other teen who got a soda and looked shocked by the size, holding it out in both hands and staring, ducking and raising his head and looking at it from different angles.

"This is large?" Yami cried a little too loudly, staring at the cup and then back at the woman who had sold it to him. "Well no fucking wonder this country is so obese!"

"Oh my gods!" Yugi cried, shaking his head and groaning. "Goddamn it."

"It's like…the fucking size of my head!"

Timaeus snickered in front of him. "Wow."

"Yugi, Yugi! Look at this!" Yami cried, making his boyfriend glance over with red cheeks. "Do you see this? It's the size of my head!"

"Well, at least he's enthusiastic about it," the teal-eyed boy commented, shaking his head and snickering next to him while Yugi blushed harder and gestured for Yami to stop talking about obesity with the woman manning the booth.

"Yami, Yami, come back over here!" Yugi called, laughing at his boyfriend's confused look before he glanced at the girl who looked pissed and then bolted back over to his side. "You can't just go around saying that!"

"But…but it's so big!"

"And you're amazed by the weirdest things," he snickered, shaking his head.

"I was starting to think it was hoax that you were actually here," a new voice commented.

Yami stopped short of sipping some Sprite to look up and talk around his straw, drawling, "Vivian Cunt Wong."

"What are you doing here?" Yugi asked, wide-eyed.

"I came to see if it was true he was here."

"Well, now you've seen me so could you just—"

"And challenge you to a duel."

Yami's shoulders sagged, groaning and pulling the soda away from his mouth with a loud sigh. "Why?"

"With stakes."

"The fuck?" the red-eyed teen asked. "How the fuck does that make sense? I ask why and you say, 'with stakes'? The fuck does that even mean?"

"I meant with the duel, you idiot."

"Fuck off, bitch. It's still early for me," Yami spat. "I just woke up. And you're interrupting my hydration time."

"Hydration…?" Yugi trailed off and then looked at his boyfriend before turning back again. "So that's what that was."

"That's what what was?" Timaeus asked, glancing between the three of them curiously.

"On Thanksgiving, Yami drank like fifteen glasses of water for breakfast. It was the weirdest thing I had ever seen."

"Hydration is awesome," Yami snapped at him before turning back to Vivian. "All right. Stakes. Cute. What the fuck are they?"

"If I win you break up with the runt."

Yugi and Timaeus were both amazed by how far that spit-take went; Vivian screamed out loud and Yami coughed and hacked for a few seconds, doubling over and groaning, "It went down the wrong pipe! Why would you do this to me?! I just woke up!"

"You just spat on me!"

"Well…at least it's not coke," Yugi commented, frowning. "I mean, it won't stain…"

"Stay out of it!"

"My lung burns," Yami whined, making a pitiful sobbing noise. "It fucking burns. I don't like it!"

Yugi snorted a laugh and then clamped his hands over his mouth, hoping that the other teen hadn't heard only to find him glaring a second later when he straightened and tried to contain another fit of coughs. The red-eyed teen looked at his soda for a second as if it was cursed and then went back to drinking it again.

"You're okay, right?" Yugi commented, blinking and fighting back another laugh.

Yami narrowed his eyes at him. "Yes, you little laugher."

"I can't help it! It was hilarious!"

"Oh yeah, uh-huh," the other boy griped, huffing and turning to Vivian with a gesture of his cup. "Now, what the fuck did you want again?"

"If I win, you have to break up with the runt. If you win, you get to stay with him."

"Is this how you solve problems in China? You fucking fight instead of like fucking…let things go?" the red-eyed teen huffed, crossing his arms. "You couldn't just…kiss my ass and get over it?"

The brunette gawked at him as if he had lost his mind and then snarled, "Afraid of a little duel, Yami?"

"No," he mumbled, rolling his eyes and then drinking some more soda. "We'll do it when the damn tournament starts in an hour. First duel. If you're not here when it starts, I'm counting it as a forfeit."

"Good."

"Great."

"Fuck off."

"Whatever. Be prepared to lose."

Yugi swallowed so hard he was surprised that no one heard him, a little flustered when his boyfriend went back to sipping his soda and not bothering to so much as glance in his direction. For a second none of them spoke and then finally the small teen grabbed his boyfriend's free hand and led him a few feet away.

He was about to open his mouth when a voice said, "So, snookums, how do you plan to beat her?"

Yami stopped short and glanced at the blonde. "You're still here?"

"Don't pretend you didn't know I'm one of the finalists."

"Kill me." He paused and then looked at Yugi. "But first we must go fuck."

Yugi's entire face heated so quickly he was pretty sure he had just put microwaves to shame. "Yami—"

"Fine, Mai, you want to go—?"

"Yami!"

The teen threw his arms up. "Oh my gods, what?! Yugi, honestly, come on! First Vivian's shit and now Mai's? I haven't gotten any hydration and you're trying to stress me more? Fuck that! You made me apologize and everything!"

"That wasn't even an apology—"

"It was. It was so deep that you missed the concept, however."

"Yami, listen—"

"Please just fuck me."

Mai was laughing now, hand covering her mouth as Yugi gaped at the other teen who threw his hands up again.

"You know what, Yugi? Mai over here sounds like a cat, she looks like a fucking cougar—she could be a fucking cougar!" Yami snapped suddenly, huffing.

"Well, you know what, Yami? If you have fun with the cougar, you're going to need to take a fucking bath because that pussy stinks!" Yugi snarled angrily.

Yami blinked and then burst out laughing while Mai gawked and let out a snarling noise; a few feet away Timaeus was gaping and Malik and Bakura were in tears from laughing so hard.

"You're just going to let him talk about me like that?" Mai snapped indignantly.

The red-eyed teen wiped a tear from his eyes and glanced at her. "Well no shit. Why wouldn't I?"

"Because he's beneath you. He's your secretary and I'm your girlfriend and—"

"Girlfriend? Bullshit! Listen, Catwoman, get the fuck off my boyfriend or—"

"That is not Catwoman. I know Catwoman and that is not her," Malik said, shaking his head at Yugi who blinked once and then twice before tilting his head; the blond rolled his eyes towards the ceiling. "She is so not Catwoman."

"Ah, Catwoman," Bakura snickered next to him, shaking his head and smirking widely. "Damn Catwoman. Our flunked kidnapping."

"Shut up!" Malik snapped. "It wasn't even…I was drugged!"

"I don't think you know what that means anymore, Malik," the silver-haired teen stated. "I mean, I didn't see you trying to fucking kidnap someone at Thanksgiving."

"We were locked in a car trunk!"

"So? Doesn't change the fact that you didn't jump a bitch screaming 'Catwoman' like you did last time."

"I…I—shut up!"

"Mad you didn't get to go on your little heist with her?" Bakura snickered, eyes gleaming with delight when his cousin started to blush and glanced around to make sure that no one was actively listening; he spotted Yugi, blanched completely, and then clamped his hand over his cousin's mouth.

"Ix-nay on the Atwoman-cay," Malik hissed.

"Oh please, by next week he'll be family and we can tell him everything."

"Why do you all fucking hate me so much?"

"Why not?"

"He is straight!" Mai suddenly screeched, pointing at Yami who grabbed at his hair and pulled a few times; Yugi looked over his shoulder with wide eyes to find that Mana was now walking over, snickering.

"If he ever turns straight, it'll be a miracle."

"If he does, be my support system, okay?"

The blonde burst out laughing and hugged him tightly. "No worries, Yugi. Yami is head over heels for you." She paused, glancing over at the other woman and laughing, "Oh my gods."

Yugi hugged her back, peering over her shoulder as he got on his tiptoes, laughing until he was crying when he found that Yami was now banging his head into the wall with the mutterings of "Guys, guys, I like guys. I like them. They have three legs."

Yugi jumped when he heard Seto joining in the laughter, startled as he looked over and found the brunet watching the scene with the widest smirk imaginable. A few steps away from him, Bakura and Malik were on the floor, crying from laughing so hard.

"I am so sorry you are under some kind of impression that it's a joke and apparently my boyfriend is my…secretary, but honestly, I'm not—"

"Okay, look, Mai, Yami isn't going to have any time for you—any night in the foreseeable future. Okay? Why? Because he is with me!"

"And we have our cavemen back." Mana hummed thoughtfully, picturing them both with clubs and a loincloth, hitting their chests and roaring. "Fucking cavemen."

"You two!"

All of them froze and spun around, Yugi, Yami and Mana recognizing that voice and swapping looks immediately; should they make a run for it?

He pointed at Mana and Yami but had his eye on Yugi as well, saying, "You two are the ones who stole our hooker mannequin."

Seto pressed his palm into his face and sighed loudly; goddamn it.

"See? See? I fucking told you those were hooker clothes!" Yami snapped at his sister suddenly. "You said, 'No, this is a great outfit' but no, even this guy says they were fucking hooker clothes!"

"They were not hooker clothes!"

"Bullshit, even the security guard just said they were!"

Mana blushed slightly and then hissed, "Yami, shut up! You don't know fashion!"

"I know that that skirt was too high and that fucking shirt had no room for boobs in the first place!" Yami paused and then glanced at Mai. "It's something this bitch would wear."

"What the fuck did you just say?" Mai spat, eyes widening drastically.

"Back off, bitch. This is a sibling conversation and you need to get the fuck out," Mana snapped, turning back to her brother and pointing. "You would know hooker clothing, wouldn't you? I mean, with all that fucking leather in your closet and all!"

"Don't diss on the leather, bitch," he spat. "It's comfortable as fuck and it makes me look taller."

"God knows he needs help there," Seto muttered.

"Not everyone wants to be a fucking giant, okay?" Yami snarled at the brunet. "God, if you weren't so fucking tall, you'd probably be as leather-loving as I am!"

The CEO sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Goddamn it, Yami."

"Besides, it makes my ass look fabulous!"

"Why would you say that out loud?" Mana cried, groaning. "Now I have a mental image and it's not pretty."

"Then you didn't imagine it right," Yugi said before he could stop himself, blinking wide eyes when the others all looked at him.

"Fuck yes! See that? He likes the booty!"

"Oh my gods, stop!" Mana moaned.

The security guard watched them arguing, glanced at the tall platinum blonde, and mumbled something that Timaeus was well aware went along the lines of "That's the fucking mannequin personified" before he finally wandered off to leave the family squabbling.

"Enough!" Yugi snarled suddenly, cutting off the bickering between Seto, Yami and Mana who all froze and stared at him in shock. "I need to talk to my boyfriend, got it?"

"Geez, Yugi, all you had to do was ask," Mana mumbled, blinking and then leading the others away with a glance over her shoulder while Yugi immediately turned to Yami.

A little while later Yugi was watching Yami and Vivian shuffle each other's decks and hand them back before wandering off to separate ends of the "arena". Both of their projectors launched and they had drawn their first five cards when Vivian suddenly looked over towards Yugi and laughed, "You know, Yugi, your grandpa is a great duelist."

Yugi stopped short and glanced at Yami who glanced at him over his cards, eyebrow raised; the smaller boy turned back to the brunette, confused. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that he told me exactly how to take Yami's deck down."

Yami tipped his head towards his boyfriend, snorting, "You still think that your grandpa likes me, Yugi?"

"H-how did you even…?" Yugi blinked and then blushed furiously, blurting out, "Oh my god, you showed him your boobs!"

"Goddamn it," Seto snapped from his seat as one of the referees, putting his face in his palm and shaking his head; why had he figured this was a good idea in the first place?

"You…what?" Yami muttered, blinking.

"What's the opposite of a pedophile?" Yugi suddenly cried, eyes wide.

"A law-abiding citizen?" his boyfriend mumbled, confused.

"Well, that's not what she is!" the smaller boy screeched.

Yami swallowed hard, feeling almost as if his eyes would bug out of his head if he paid too much attention to his boyfriend's frantic state, and then slowly stared at his cards in frustration; so Yugi's grandpa had teamed up with her for this?

"Oh my fucking god!" the taller teen cried, turning on Yugi. "No wonder he hates me so much! I don't have boobs!"

"He doesn't hate—"

"You expect me to believe you after this?"

Yugi opened and closed his mouth and ducked his head away, blushing furiously. "He, he…Goddamn it."

"Oh, I am so going to talk to him about this."

"We don't talk about college!"

"Oh hell yeah we do!"

Yugi covered his face with his hands and groaned, shaking his head; goddamn it.

Twenty minutes of Yami arguing with Vivian while she took jabs at Yugi and she played Card Exchange to take Slifer from him after playing Inexperienced Spy; two more turns and she used Ancient Telescope to look at his next five, used Card Exchange another three turns later and stole Infinite Cards.

Yami stared at her as if she had just stolen his favorite puppy, shaved its fur and then handed it back to him; when she summoned him four turns later he tilted his head in frustration, rolled his eyes, and then shook his head. She went to attack him directly and was hit with a four thousand point recoil from Magical Cylinder.

Yugi started rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet. Did Yami even know how to use the card he had given him? He swallowed hard, nearly vomiting from stress, and then continued rocking back and forth. He had to, right? He was the World Champion, after all…

He winced slightly. He'd never seen Yami go up against it before, however. And if Yami hadn't gone up against it in all of his duels before, how could he be sure that he actually knew how to use it?

Yami was officially forced into defensive mode until twenty turns in, playing Barrel Dragon after using a machine-card power-up and managing to make him strong enough to withstand Slifer's special effect. Slifer was discarded a second later when he used his own special effect and Vivian snickered that he wasn't going to be able to win with such a measly card.

"Dude, this duel is going to be over in a few minutes," Bakura muttered to his cousin, both of them watching a few feet away from Yugi. "Yami isn't going to win this shit."

"Yeah, well…" Malik shrugged. "They're both halfway through their decks, so you think he could win on a technicality when she draws her last card first?"

Yugi glanced at them and then snapped, "Shut up, he's going to win."

Both of them gave him dubious looks, held their hands up, and turned away again; another ten turns in and Yami finally drew the card that Yugi had given him. He spent a second staring at it and then finally activated Swords of Revealing Light and summoned another three monsters onto the field in defense mode. Two more turns and Yami summoned The Winged Dragon of Ra, shocking the hell out of the bystanders and Vivian who gaped in shock and said that was bullshit while Yami made sure to glance at the card's effects again, staring blankly for a second.

"What the fuck? How did he even get that?" Bakura hissed, eyes wide.

"Dude, what the hell did he…?" He turned around and shouted, "All right, whose dick do I have to suck to get that card?"

Yugi blushed and kept his eyes on Yami who burst out laughing, shook his head and then activated the Phoenix Effect in order to end the duel with Vivian's life points at zero and his at one; the girl started screaming and seething while Yami ignored her and instead went about snatching his cards out of her hand when she started yelling even louder. He was really only surprised that he got the hell out of the way before she started trying to smack him and claimed he had cheated.

"It's not cheating to swap cards with another duelist before a duel," Yami retorted, hurrying over to Yugi and handing him Ra; the smaller boy grinned and looked it over for a second before pulling out Yami's Red-Eyes and giving it to him.

"Oh my god," Malik cried, running over and glaring at them both. "Yugi, Yugi, listen to me very closely."

The blue-violet-eyed boy turned his head to look at him only to have Malik grab his shoulders and shake him, screaming, "I will suck your dick for that card!"

"Wait, so…he's not going to beat the fuck out of him for saying that shit?" Hermos commented, raising a brow. "But he annihilates Timaeus because Yugi was touching his hair?"

Yami cast them a glare. "Oh please, I'll kick Malik's ass later," he snapped before narrowing his eyes at Timaeus. "Mine."

"Yes! Yes, okay, he's yours," the teal-eyed boy cried, holding his hands up. "Calm down, okay? He's all yours."

"Damn str—"

"Unless you decide to share," Bakura commented.

His cousin blinked and spun on him. "How about I string you up by your balls?"

"Hey, talk to the blond! He's the one about to undo Yugi's pants!"

"What?"

Yugi remained frozen in place, blushing too hard to think properly, and didn't move when Malik ran off with a shout of "Okay, okay! I'll find someone else!" while Bakura burst out laughing and Yami hit his cousin across the back with his mostly-gone soda. The blond screeched and rolled on the ground, screaming about Yami's saliva being poisonous.

Yami grabbed him by the face and kissed him when he could see that the words "poisonous pussy" were about to leave his mouth again.

---

He was half-asleep with the phone sounded and he found himself blinking in confusion again, surprised to see that Yami was standing on the other side of the second bed.

"You okay?" he muttered groggily when the other teen didn't immediately move or speak; the red-eyed boy glanced over and raised a brow before nodding silently. "Well, your phone just rang…you got a text. Do you want me to get your phone?"

Yami blinked and looked over at the nightstand on Yugi's side of the room, shaking his head and taking a seat on top of the mattress. "No, go ahead and read it out loud if you want," he mumbled.

Yugi was immediately awake, excited as he cried, "Okay!" and scrambled to get it off the desk next to him, reading the words "'Hello my pharaoh'" out loud before spinning around on him.

Yami blinked and opened his mouth, suddenly remembering the girl that Yugi had proclaimed the beanstalk just before the smaller boy snarled, "Who the fuck is she and why is she calling you 'pharaoh'?"

"Huh. Well that's…definitely new," he commented, blinking. "Kind of BDSM…"

"You've been BDSM-ing with other people?" Yugi screeched.

"Whoa. Okay. Holy shit. What the hell?" Yami asked, shocked out of his mind.

"I should be asking you that you lying cheat!" the smaller snarled, pointing at him angrily.

Yami's mouth fell open. "What?!"

"Who else have you been BDSM-ing with? Huh?" Yugi demanded, throwing his arms around wildly and nearly yanking the phone charger out the wall, glancing at it in surprise before quickly putting the little white device on the nightstand again.

"…You're accusing me of BDSM-ing with other people when you went and decided to love on someone else's hair?"

Yugi blinked and blushed at the memory; his hair had been so soft—almost like a cat's…

"His hair was magnificent!" he defended himself weakly before growing angry again. "And don't change the subject! Who is she and why is she calling you 'pharaoh'?"

"Hair-Petter!" Yami spat, narrowing his eyes.

"Cheater!" Yugi snarled.

"You didn't see me getting this upset when you turned traitor and pet his hair!"

"Are you serious?!" Yugi cried, pointing at him. "You went and attacked him repeatedly even though you had already won the duel! You annihilated him for no reason! Stop changing the subject you dirty rotten cheater!"

Yami couldn't help it when crawled across the mattress towards him, smirking as he purred, "You're a sexy little thing when you get all wild-eyed on me."

Yugi flushed, frustrated and tired. "Yami—"

"Mm, say it again."

"Yami?" he squeaked, blinking wide eyes as the other boy launched himself onto the other bed, straddling him and purring loudly.

"Ooh, I feel all tingly. Say it again."

Yugi shook his head, laughing, "Yami—" as the other teen let out a small shiver and ran his fingers up and down his sides.

"Oh, aibou, you know I'm not cheating on you." Yugi squealed and tried to push him away, struggling to keep from squirming as he continued laughing, eyes wide and bright. "But, by the by, little one, do you even know what BDSM means?"

"N-no?" he managed to breathe out between a violent squeak and laughter.

Yami didn't want to admit that he didn't either, and besides, it wasn't like it was hurting anyone when he said "It means Badass Deviant Sperm Monkeys."

Yugi gawked and blushed to the point that his neck and ears burned with it as well. "R-really?!"

Yami fell off the side of the bed, holding his sides as he burst out laughing at his shocked and innocently curious expression; the smaller teen groaned and covered his face. "You're so mean!" he griped as the other boy continued howling. "I don't like you anymore. I really don't."

"But I love you!" Yami objected immediately, scrambling onto the bed again and hugging him tightly as he continued blushing and smiled widely.

---

Thankfully Vivian seemed to be the last issue as far as the tournament went, though Yugi still found himself wondering how his face hadn't burst into flames whenever Yami answered one of the questions that some of his fans asked at the end after his boyfriend had raised sixty-four million dollars for the event with his five duels.

"So…who wears the pants in this relationship?" one of the girls had asked, mostly a joke but somewhat serious; Yugi kind of thought it was an interesting question…right until…

"Preferably no one is wearing pants."

He banged his head against the desk and Yami snickered.

"I just wanted to say that your boyfriend is really cute," someone else said.

Yugi was about to thank them…until…

A tongue ran up the entire side of his face and he was left with his eyes nearly bugging out of his head in pure shock, frozen in place before slowly looking at him. "W-what are you doing?"

"Marking my territory," Yami stated without missing a beat.

"Dear gods…"

Yugi was just happy that the event was over now because they could officially get whatever last minute presents they needed and he was so happy about that because he had done his shopping before but he still wanted to make sure that he had gotten everything that he thought would be worth it…

"All right, so…" Yami muttered, starting to sort through the shirts on the rack.

Yugi got onto the bottom rack of the cart and pulled himself up to get into the basket, standing up and though the cart backed up into his hip with the new edition of weight, Yami didn't look up. "What are we looking for?" he asked curiously, leaning up and making sure to distribute his weight evenly as he started to sort through a few shirts.

"I was looking for Batman, actually," Yami admitted with a frown, only finding that pathetic extraterrestrial Superman. "Bakura has a thing for him."

Yugi was still sorting through when Yami sighed and pulled the cart, turning away from him completely; the smaller teen lost his balance immediately, toppling over the back of the basket with a yelp as his head hit the floor. Bystanders were immediately over at his side, some of which he knew had been following them since they had finished with the tournament; Yami looked confused until he saw that his boyfriend was leaning upwards a little, blinking in confusion.

"Oh!" he chuckled, smiling as he tilted his head and stretched his hand out. "You okay?"

Yugi immediately grabbed his hand and let him pull him to his feet, blinking and blushing as red as a cherry as he rubbed the back of his head. "Yeah."

A woman who had come running touched his arm, asking, "Are you okay?"

"I'm okay," he stated, nodding and blushing a little harder at the silent laughter in his boyfriend's eyes.

"Are you sure?"

"I didn't know you were in the cart," Yami snickered, shaking his head as he pulled him over so that they were practically flush against each other, searching though his long hair for any kind of wound, superficial or serious.

"How could you possibly not know he was in the cart?" the woman cried incredulously, shocked when Yami didn't reply and instead continued searching for any kind of head wound. "Excuse me!"

Yugi nudged him and Yami blinked before looking over at the woman in complete confusion. "What?"

"What? What?" she cried angrily. "You know what!"

Yami blinked, confused out of his mind as he tried to figure out a polite way to say that he didn't know what the fuck she was talking about but if she kept distracting him from his aibou he was going to mow her down with his cart and he would make sure to keep going over her a few times until he was positive she wasn't going to distract him anymore.

Yugi blinked in shock when Bakura came running from the escalator a few feet away, eyes wide as he asked, "Dude, shit, Yugi, you okay?"

The smaller teen nodded immediately. "Yeah, I just—"

Malik, on the other hand, followed after his cousin, laughing his ass off as he said, "That was great!"

Yugi was so busy trying to control the heat in his cheeks that he missed it when one of the women that had come over snapped at Yami that he didn't deserve him if he was abusive.

"I wasn't looking!" Yami spat, gesturing around for a moment. "I wasn't fucking looking! I didn't even fucking know he was inside the cart!"

"How could you not know that he was in your cart? Of course you knew he was in your cart!"

"Because he wasn't supposed to be in the fucking cart in the first place!" Yami snarled, seething as Yugi flinched and spotted Mana and Yami's parents running towards them from the electronics section they had been formerly browsing. "He wasn't supposed to be in it and I didn't expect him to be! I don't give a flying fuck if you have four kids and you've never backed up with one of them in the cart without them sitting down! He's not a fucking child and I didn't know he was in the cart!"

The ambassador and his wife both went to check on him but Yami had already turned back to the task of sorting through his hair again, the smaller teen blushing as he pulled away and grabbed his hands, whispering, "I'm okay. I promise. Can we just get out of here—quickly?"

Yami winced. "I didn't know you were—"

"I know, I know. Can we just go…?"

Yugi had to admit that he was a little surprised when no one said anything the entire ride back to the stupid hotel; only when they got out of the car again did Bakura say, "I stole the gel pen from that bank on the third floor."

"Someone threatened to arrest me on the fourth," Malik murmured. "But the security guard backed off when he heard the story about what happened the last time someone tried to arrest me."

"You mean with Catwoman?" the silver-haired teen commented, raising a brow.

"Ix-nay! Ix-nay!" Malik snapped, waving his arms wildly. "Not in front of Yugi! He isn't family yet!"

Yugi stared at them in confusion, missing it when Yami wandered off and didn't come back; when the family was finally starting to talk, Yugi glanced around and realized he was gone, taking off for the front desk, getting a room key, and ignoring the others as they called for him to wait.

Yami glanced at him when he entered the room, raising a brow. "So, how's your head?"

"…Kind of hurts, but it's okay."

"You shouldn't have been in the cart."

"I know."

"What the fuck were you doing in it?"

"I wanted to check the top racks for Batman shirts."

"And you didn't try to tell me?"

"Um…no?"

"Goddamn it, Yugi."

He chuckled sheepishly and hurried over to jump on the bed next to him. "Not my brightest idea," he admitted, grinning. "But, on the bright side, I found out there really weren't any Batman shirts on the racks."

Yami shook his head a little and rolled his eyes. "Not funny. I suck as a boyfriend and you're making jokes."

"You don't suck as a boyfriend," Yugi laughed, shaking his head.

"Don't bullshit me, Yugi! If I can't even look out for you, what the hell can I do?"

Yugi sat up on his knees and tilted his head, thinking. "Well, um…you're a pretty great kisser."

Yami snorted and rolled his eyes, unable to stop from smiling a little; Yugi moved forward to press his cheek against his and crawl into his lap and wrap his arms around him tightly, mumbling, "It's okay. I shouldn't have been in the cart and you didn't know I was there in the first place. And it was funny until they all started overreacting and jumped into it. It's okay, I promise. I didn't get hurt or anything."

Yami huffed but purred when Yugi kissed his neck, pausing for a moment before tickling his sides and making the smaller boy squirm, giggling, and then pull back with a growl so that they were both staring at each other for a moment.

Yugi rubbed noses with him and buried his face in his neck, mumbling, "But…if you do ever decide to be abusive, I'm totally breaking up with you."

"Could you kick my ass a few times and make sure to permanently damage my nuts first?"

Yugi pulled back with the brightest eyes Yami had even seen, laughing, "Of course!"

"Oh my gods! We actually planned interaction with Excalibur!"

"Yep. And it's violent," Yugi laughed, snuggling into him.

---

"Excuse me, ma'am, but your children will both have to take their seats shortly."

Yami and Yugi both looked up tiredly at the sound of the stewardess but only the red-eyed teen was immediately sitting up and alert; the smaller boy blinked and looked at him, half expecting him to try to discreetly signal her to stop talking.

"Oh, it's okay. They're just keeping an eye out for Santa," the mom stated while Yugi glanced at Yami and wondered why he hadn't said what he was probably dying to.

"Oh, how lovely!" the stewardess said, obviously playing along.

"Are they looking out the right side of the plane?"

"They might get lucky if they keep an eye out, but since we're about to serve the evening meal, they will need to take their seats."

Yugi and Yami both jumped when the mom immediately snapped, "No! They might miss Santa!" in an extremely serious voice that made the red-eyed teen glance at him with a pointed look, brow raised.

The smaller boy blushed and nudged him in the rib, poking his tongue out.

"Uh…well, ma'am, I think you'll be all right for the moment."

"But we can't miss Santa! I want them to see the reindeer!"

"All right," the stewardess said after a long minute, starting to proceed down the aisles, "but if they want to eat their meal, they will have to sit in their seats."

Yami scrambled over Yugi's lap, the smaller blushing and feeling as if his face were on fire when the red-eyed teen unconsciously cupped him, leaning forward and adding a little bit more weight to the sensation and leaving him biting back a moan. The stewardess spun on them with wide eyes when Yami snatched her wrist and Yugi ducked his head into the other boy's shoulder.

"I don't care how bat-shit crazy and stupid that mother is. Just don't tell them the truth!" Yami hissed in a voice that bordered a threat. "It's the only thing that's been keeping those brats quiet all night!"

---

"Aw! That's so sweet!" Mana cried, holding her box of various nail polishes and hugging Yugi tightly, making him wheeze out a breath while Yami leaned over from his spot on the couch, hissing, and quickly pushed her off him.

"It was a hug, Yami," the blonde snapped. "I wasn't trying to fucking grope him or something."

"Our children have such nice language, don't you think, honey?" Yami's mom asked, blinking and smiling at her husband who sighed and shook his head.

Yami snickered and his sister huffed before passing him a present with his name on it; the teen opened it, stared, and then slowly dragged his eyes up to his sister. "Guess what you're getting back for your birthday."

"No!"

"Glitter Peen!" Yugi cried in excitement, gawking at the box.

"Damn straight you're getting it back," Bakura scoffed, snickering. "But maybe a little sooner than later."

"Huh?" Mana cried, blinking before digging through her presents and quickly opening another, eyes watering. "Why would you do this to me?!"

"Because it's the perfect gift. Ever."

"He's right. It's perfect," Yami snorted, rolling his eyes and grabbing a present that he tossed over to Mokuba who scrambled to catch it and knocked the vase off the side-table, Seto glancing at him and shaking his head; he had the worst coordination in the entire family…

"Goddamn it," Yami's dad cried. "Why the fuck do we always have Christmas here?"

"Because they all practically live here anyways aside from Seto and Mokuba."

"You guys need to go home sometimes!"

Yugi laughed while Mokuba undid his wrapping paper and held the box up happily, practically screaming in excitement; the blue-violet-eyed boy looked over to see an old Gameboy Color system the color of Pikachu with a first edition copy of Pokemon Yellow.

"Damn, nice gift."

"It took forever to find that thing so if you break it," Yami announced, "don't ever let me hear about it because I'll end up shaving your head, got it?"

"Yeah!"

He didn't open his presents when they all handed them over, instead watching as Yami jumped up from the couch and told them he would be right back, coming over a few minutes later with a sack of items; Yugi thought for a second that he was going to hand them out but instead he dragged it over to Malik and put it in front of him.

"Here."

"What the fuck is…?" The blond got up and peered inside and then looked at Yami and hissed, "Really?"

"You asked me for diabetes at Thanksgiving. You have a bag of that. Diabetes." Yami paused. "Spend it well."

"I said baked ziti!"

"You said diabetes."

"I was there and I can testify," Bakura stated, holding up a finger, "and you did, in fact, say diabetes."

"I…What? I thought I said baked ziti…"

"No, it was always diabetes. Here, open my gift to you," the silver-haired teen announced, handing him a small rectangle wrapped in paper; Malik stared it for a long time and then finally peeled it away to stare…at a brick.

"Hmm…now my gift seems miniscule," Yami commented, snorting and wandering back over to the couch; Yugi still didn't open his presents when the others had all exchanged and opened theirs but no one commented and he was pretty sure that Yami already knew why so he never asked. He was about to leave with his presents all inside of his backpack a few hours later, get to the game shop and spend the rest of the day with his grandpa, when Yami stopped him at the door.

The taller teen pointed up and Yugi blinked a few times as he craned his neck and tilted his head, eyes widening before laughing, "Oh, hey, look at that!"

"Yeah, a completely inconspicuously placed mistletoe, right?" the other teen murmured, nodding in delight.

Yugi stopped short and looked at him in confusion, eyes wide as he glanced at the banister and back. "Mistletoe?" he echoed, blinking before furrowing his brows. "Yami, I was talking about Milky Way."

"Huh?" Yami muttered, craning his head up and glaring. "Oh my Ra, you fucking ate the Christmas decoration, didn't you?"

The smaller teen snorted out a laugh and shook his head, smiling widely as the black and silver cat licked her paws and then seemed to scowl at him in response to his glare; both of them stared at each other for a moment and then Yami grabbed a candy cane from the tree to toss it at the she-cat. Milky Way blinked when it hit near her paw and then hissed before getting up and wandering out of the room.

"Damn it."

"Actually, I don't think she ate it."

"What? You mean, I threw that cane of fucking peppermint for nothing?"

Yugi let out a small laugh, picking up something off the ground and holding it in front of him. "Yeah, pretty much."

"Oh my Ra! Milky Way, come back!" he called, starting for the stairs; the smaller teen laughed as he caught him around the arm and pulled him back. For a second the red-eyed teen looked completely confused, eyes wide, but melted into it when Yugi snickered and wrapped his arms around his neck, leaning up and kissing him softly once. The little mistletoe decoration scratched against his back for a second and Yami jerked away, eyes wide while Yugi burst out laughing again.

"You sound like a girl when you offend Milky Way," he snorted, taking the little decoration in his hands and holding it in front of him while Yami blushed and snapped, "Well…you are one!"

"Am not."

"Are too."

"At this rate, you're never going to get in my pants."

Yami opened and closed his mouth and then shook his head rapidly. "I take it back! You're so manly you put Chuck Norris to shame! Please, Yugi!"

The smaller boy started laughing again and shook his head, looking at the mistletoe while Yami sighed, "You little tease."

"I thought you would have known that already."

"I—I…Rude!"

"You're the pervert! You're rude!"

"You're rude for pointing out that I'm a rude pervert!"

Yugi laughed and shook his head, rolling his eyes, and Yami distractedly snatched the mistletoe from him, wondering if he should go up and pin it back up; ugh, this sucked. How dare the little decoration fall off like that?

He had thrown a candy cane at his kitty and it had been because of this little bastard ornament—

He jumped a mile, spinning around with wide eyes and gawking at the feel of a hand groping his ass, the smaller teen squeezing once and biting his lip with bright blue-violet eyes.

"Touch the booty, slap the booty, let the booty know it's special," Yugi snickered, running out the door while Yami continued gawking after him; son of a bitch.