The Distraction

by YamiYugiPuzzleshipper

Yami would do anything for his little sister Mana so when she sees a purse she wants but can't have, he comes up with the perfect distraction involving the cutest boy he has ever seen.

7. The Birthday

Way later update than I originally planned and two days later than I was hoping but hey, editing and writer's block will do that to you. Oh well, here is part one of four of the Pun Bowl event.

Warning! There is a small bit of jokes about religions and such but nothing too horrible, and it shouldn't offend anyone. I just wanted to play around a little and it definitely worked. So just remember that no offense was meant and have fun.

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Yu-Gi-Oh. At. ALL.

And special thanks to Echoheart~ Cause she beta'd the first three chapters for me.

The Pun Bowl Part I: The Birthday

He was not prepared for this test. And neither was Yami now that he glanced over and saw the way he was gawking at his calculator. He watched the taller teen start banging it against the desk, yelling, "There is no fucking way I just got eleven-fucking-million as my motherfucking answer! What is this bullshit?! Bad calculator! Bad, you fucking piece of shit!" He banged his calculator harder and Yugi cringed, shifting away slightly. "I hate life!"

Yugi glanced at his test for a moment and then flipped through some of the pages, furrowing his brows. Oh gods, there was no eleven million for an answer choice—on any question. What the hell was Yami doing?

Laughter started bubbling up in the back of the class and Yugi shot his boyfriend a sympathetic look as he proceeded to pout. The red eyes grew wide, his bottom lip jutting out and his expression taking on one of someone about to cry. Ms. Chono glanced at the red-eyed boy with an awkward expression and quickly looked down again. Yami glanced up to find her taking small peeks at him uncomfortably from where she was looking at their grade reports at her spot behind her desk.

"Shut up!" Yugi cried angrily, glaring at someone who started whispering about how Yami was going to fail. "I'm trying to fucking fail my test in peace. I need absolute silence to do that, you stupid dildos."

His boyfriend's eyes nearly popped out of his head, glancing at him and making his mouth curve into an "o" shape. The smaller teen blushed furiously but refused to look at anyone else, turning back to his calculator.

"Don't laugh," Ms. Chono snapped, rolling her eyes and shaking her head as someone snickered in the back. "He's right, you know?"

Yami glanced at the smaller boy and met his gaze from the corner of his eye. He pursed his lips and furrowed his brows, narrowing his eyes while Yugi blushed harder. "She agreed with you even after you just called everyone a dildo," he hissed. "I have no words to express my jealousy."

The smaller teen shook his head, blushing until his ears had taken on a bright red, and turned away again, whispering, "Ssh. I have some failing to do."

---

Yami groaned loudly and threw his hands against the table, whining and covering his head. Yugi gave him a half-sympathetic grimace but refused to back down as the taller teen whined loudly again.

"Why do you keep doing this to me? What did I do to you? Why do you hate me so fucking much, Yugi?"

"Hey, I just thought that you would like to have a second chance at the math test you failed so badly!" the smaller mumbled, huffing. "Obviously my efforts to make sure you have some kind of academic future are not valued."

"Are you my mother?" the red-eyed teen whispered, raising his head and giving him a horrified look. "Because you just sounded so much like her and I really want to cry right now."

Yugi gave him a long look, the words on his tongue already showing in his eyes. Yami nearly panicked when he blurted out, "Incest! Oh my god, incest!" so loudly that others turned around in their seats. The taller teen covered his face and shook his head immediately while the smaller felt his face grow flushed with horror. He wasn't sure if he had shouted it but with the way that almost everyone seemed to be staring at him said something. "You're incestuous!"

"Oh. My. Ra." Yami ducked his head and got ready to crawl under the table as Yugi covered his mouth and hung his head. "I can't…fuck me, I can't…oh my fucking Ra."

"No, wait, don't leave me. I'll cry if you hide."

Yami grabbed him by the hem of his shirt and dragged him under the table with him. A few small laughs broke out, someone made a catcall, and Yugi buried his head into his stomach. The taller boy patted his shoulder blades and then sighed loudly. Poor sweet little Yugi, with no filter between his mind and his mouth.

And it was only going to get worse with the more stressed he became.

Four hours later at the end of the school day, both of them shuffled into the math room as Yugi had mentioned minutes before his outburst at lunch. Ms. Chono barely even glanced at them, gesturing towards the piles of paper laid out in front of her on the desk. Both of them got their tests immediately and scrambled for their usual seats in class.

Yugi stared at the sixty-nine with the threat of tears pricking his eyes. By the gods, he had been a point away from passing. He could have passed if he hadn't missed that one stupid question.

"Oh my god," Bakura snickered beside him. "Dude, is that a negative number?"

Yami flushed and ducked his head, staring at where his grade said -13. "Shut up, Bakura."

"How did even manage that?" Malik laughed, leaning forward and peeking at the test, laughing harder. "What the fuck, Yami?"

"Shut up," he snapped, blinking at the paper and then flipping it over when Yugi glanced at it. The smaller teen took a moment to realize what had appeared so wrong with the top of the paper.

"You…you actually managed to spell your name wrong," he whispered, blinking in shock and rubbing his eyes hard. "Oh my gods."

"Shut up!" Yami whined pitifully. "It…it was an accident! By Ra, you all are assholes."

"How do you manage to spell your name wrong?" Bakura howled. "It's your name. And it's only four letters!"

"I had to stay up all night with Milky Way, damn it," Yami snapped, crossing his arms and pouting. "She was sick and Mana was convinced that she had eaten Mr. Fuzzy so we were looking for the rat and trying to get Milky Way to take her medicine, okay? Fuck off."

"Aw, Milky Way is sick?" Yugi asked, eyes wide with concern. "What happened?"

"I don't know yet. She isn't eating properly."

"Did you ever think she decided to go on a diet?" Malik snorted, laughing when the smallest teen's eyes grew impossibly wider. His red-eyed cousin shot him a furious look and Bakura snorted, rolling his eyes. "I mean, maybe she thought she was too fat."

"Do you want to fight, bitch? You don't call my cat fat," Yami snarled, sitting up and narrowing his eyes into slits. "I will destroy you."

"No fat pussy," Yugi mumbled absently, putting his elbows on the desk and his chin in his hands. "Only skinny pussy."

Yami sputtered loudly at his side and the other two burst out laughing. Yugi shot them a confused look and then groaned and buried his face in his arms. His boyfriend awkwardly patted his back while his cousins continued cracking up.

"Yes, Yugi, only the skinny…pussy," he snorted, covering his mouth with and shaking his head. "Milky Way is still a skinny pussy cat."

"Say that again," Bakura laughed, poking his shoulder. "Say 'pussy' again."

"What? No. Why?"

"It's hilarious how it sounds—"

"Pussy is a funny word," Yugi commented, leaning back in his seat and pursing his lips as he looked at Yami. "Because it's so weird when you say it but also because it's the name for a cat. A cat, Yami, a cat. Like…with whiskers and a tongue and claws and stuff. Pussy cat. And then there's the word cock. Like…it's a rooster and a penis. I don't…it's weird."

Yami groaned in the back of his throat. "Oh my Ra, Yugi," he muttered.

"Like, there's Excalibur and then there's Christ," the smaller boy continued, nodding and looking at Yami's crotch for a second.

"Christ?" Malik asked slowly, glancing at Bakura and then Yami as the red-eyed teen's spine went rigid and his cheeks colored. "What is he…?"

"Seto's," Yugi said, confused, glancing at them. "He named his too. Yami's is Excalibur and—"

"No, no, stop," Yami said immediately, shaking his head wildly. "Oh my god, Yugi, stop."

"But—"

"You mean to tell me that Seto named his dick after someone in the bible?" his silver-haired cousin commented, raising a brow at Malik. The blond's eyebrows shot up and his purple eyes narrowed. "Where the hell were we?"

"High," Yami spat, bristling. "You two were high."

"What? I've never been…Oh," Bakura snorted, laughing after a moment. Both he and the blond shared an awkward look, giving weak giggles and swallowing hard. "Yeah, that."

"Yeah, Count Stupid, that."

"Shut up, I wasn't the only vampire!"

"Oh my god," Yami muttered, covering his face. "You are not a—"

"Shut up. I was—in the moment."

"Fucking Ra. You were never a vampire." He gestured around wildly. "You haven't even dressed as one for Halloween, Bakura. Think about that for a moment."

"Dude, I would be too great a fucking Dracula to dress up as him," he snorted dismissively, rolling his eyes and smirking when Yami narrowed his gaze. "You have no idea the power of my awesomeness."

"You're an idiot—"

"Wait…Christ—Jesus Christ!" Yugi muttered, spinning on his boyfriend and grabbing his shoulders. He leaned forward and Yami's eyes nearly popped out of his head, cheeks turning bright red. The smaller boy breathed against his lips and lowered his voice. "He named his penis after a curse word!"

The taller boy blinked and then laughed, startled and unsure of what else to do. "W-what?" he asked, bewildered.

"It's a curse word," the smaller boy stated, nodding and then blinking. "Oh gods, he cursed his own penis. He…wow, he cursed his penis. No one will love his penis now."

Yami opened and closed his mouth, narrowing his eyes before furrowing his brows and shaking his head. "Yugi, that's…What?"

"Ssh," the other boy muttered, covering his mouth with his hand. Something hard touched his torso in the position they were in but he guessed it was just Yami's hand. He watched the taller teen's face continue to darken in color but ignored it, chewing his cheek. "Wow. He's a real antisocial no-dating kind of guy, isn't he?"

Yami let out a low croak of a groan in the back of his throat. "Y-yes?"

"That must be lonely," Yugi muttered. "So lonely."

"Mmhmm…" He immediately moved to lean forward and hunch his spine to look interested in his test. His boyfriend glanced at him for a moment and then snatched the stapled mess away from him, looking it over.

"Oh my god. You really did spell your name wrong," he giggled. "Hello Yam Semen."

"No, stop that!" Yami whined pathetically. "We don't speak of this…catastrophic event."

"Then we also don't speak of the vampire incident. No one knew they were weed brownies, okay?" Bakura snapped, huffing. "If we had known—"

"You would have still eaten them. Don't even kid yourself," the red-eyed teen scoffed. "You would have—"

"Are all fifty of you here?" Ms. Chono announced as she walked into the room; Yugi quickly handed him his test back and his cousins fled to their seats.

"Fifty?" Yami echoed, turning his head and looking at the others in the room. A long low whistle left Bakura's mouth and the other teen turned around again, blinking. "Holy shit. There are fifty of us…Only fifty?"

"Ha, Yami, this is just the first two periods," Bakura snorted.

"Oh my god," Yugi whispered. "Quick, Yami, count how many are in our class and I'll count the ones that aren't."

Both of them spun around and started counting off before turning back and facing each other.

"Thirty," Yugi stated, grinning widely.

"Yes!" Yami cried, giving him a high-five that Yugi happily reciprocated, both of them beaming. "We are not part of the majority! Our class is smarter!"

"Too bad you bring down their average," their teacher quipped, both of them blinking and ducking their heads. "Honestly, what is wrong with you two? You start dating and this happens?"

"In my defense…I've always sucked at math," Yami argued, chewing his cheek. "I just…I can normally bullshit my way through and it's not working so well right now."

"Did you just say you bullshit your way through my class?" the redhead asked, narrowing her eyes into slits.

"…Actually, I bullshit my way through life," the red-eyed teen stated, shrugging slowly. "And since I am required to be here, this is yet another thing that I must bullshit my way through."

"He is the master of bullshitting," Bakura stated, nodding eagerly.

"All hail," Malik agreed.

"Who are we hailing?" Yugi asked, eyes wide as he looked between them. "Is it Satan or Steven?"

"Oh my god," the silver-haired teen snickered. "Wow, Yami, this is impressive. You've actually managed to scramble his brains that much."

"I…I am a god. I bullshit and I am a god," he mumbled, blushing as Yugi turned his head with wide eyes.

"Wait, I thought Steven was god and you were some kind of demon and Milky Way was Satan," he cried, eyes growing wide and distressed. "God, Yami, keep your stories straight! I'm starting to get whiplash trying to keep up!"

"It's refreshing," Ms. Chono drawled, "just how seriously you take this situation. You two are very close to failing this semester all because of this test. Do you really want to joke about this? I suppose you can try to bullshit your way through the make-up class right now, huh, Yami? I mean, I don't know very many students that misspell their own names as well as get every single question wrong on a hundred-question test."

Yami cringed and glanced at his test as laughter started up from behind him. Bakura and Malik smirked but turned away and Yugi gave him a comforting glance.

"You shouldn't be laughing, Weevil. Until you can learn the difference between spelling a caterpillar and a cantaloupe," Ms. Chono scoffed. "At least he didn't take fruit and turn it into a disgusting little bug."

Some laughter started up at the statement but Yugi still found Yami glaring at his paper as if he hoped it would disappear. Yami glanced at him from the corner of his eye, narrowed his gaze, crossed his arms, and sulked. The smaller boy couldn't figure out whether to find it amusing or try to comfort him.

And he had an idea he would fail at the latter because he was still kind of fixated on the idea that he had forgotten how to spell his name. How did you do that?

"You get stressed," Yami sniped at him, hissing under his breath. "You get stressed and you spell your name wrong, okay?"

Yugi blushed slightly and ducked his head. "Sorry." He paused and then grinned. "Even if I took the 'I' off my name, it would be my nickname!"

"Yeah, well aren't you just so lucky—"

Yugi sprang at the other boy in an attempt to grab the sheet before he could but Weevil had his grimy paws on it before he could even really move. Yami spun on him and tried to snatch it from him but he moved away just in time. Both of them swapped looks and then glowered at the turquoise-haired boy.

"Ha, you fucking moron!" he howled. "How do you spell your name wrong? You realize it's only four letters, right?"

"My pet was sick, you little brat," Yami snarled. "What's your excuse for naming a delicious fruit a disgusting bug?"

Yugi watched Ms. Chono narrow her eyes and lean forward from her place behind the desk. It wasn't a secret that she loved to listen in on arguments between the students. Sometimes she even provoked them all into it.

"Are you having some identity problems, Yam?" he sneered.

Yami got to his feet, baring his teeth. "Would you like to have your face rearranged, Weevil?" he snapped, snatching it from him and throwing it onto the desk. Yugi scrambled to grab it and pull it under his, covering them both with his arms crossed. "Your mother won't recognize your dead body."

"My mom is dead."

"Aw, so I guess you're going to have an early reunion."

Yugi caught him by the bottom of his jacket and held him back as Weevil stepped backwards several times and looked ready to pee himself. "No, no, Yami, none of that. We're in enough trouble as it is."

"I just want to break him a little," the other hissed, though he didn't move. Yugi wasn't sure if it was because he was attached to him or if he was too tired. Honestly he didn't think that it mattered as long as he stayed back.

"Get back to your seat, bug," Chono drawled, unimpressed and waving him off dismissively. The other boy glanced at her unhappily, shot Yami a smug look, and then wandered to his seat. The taller boy glared after him and then took a seat while Yugi kept the papers pinned under his arms.

"Um…can I have my paper back?"

"Fuck no," Yugi muttered softly. "No one's seeing it anymore. Just me…and my paper…on top of it…um…"

Yami blinked and then rubbed his eyes for a moment. "Well…that's an awkward little innuendo if you squint mentally," he commented in a slow drawl. "Is it flipped over? Are the names pressed together? Cause then I can pretend that they're making out—"

"Yes, Yugi Motou and Yam Semen."

Red eyes widened. "Oh my god, give me that fucking paper."

"Nope."

"Yugi, I have to change the name—I need to make it right!"

"Wow, so I'm guessing Yugi isn't laying on his back yet," Weevil sneered from where he was seated behind them. Rex burst out laughing and Yugi's face turned bright red in horror.

"Told you he was a prude," the other boy snickered.

"Oh please, you couldn't ever get laid," Malik guffawed, turning around to look at them. "A girl would have to be in her death bed to even fucking consider it. Ugly ass little bitches. They would have to wonder why the fuck they can't feel anything in the first place."

"'Is it even in yet?'" Bakura cried in a falsetto.

"'Are you even trying?'" the blond responded.

"'What the hell is that? Are you really trying to tell me that that is a dick?'" he laughed, throwing his head back.

"'God, a bug could fuck better'."

"'No wonder your species went extinct, dino breath'."

Yugi burst out laughing, covering his mouth and glancing between them and his boyfriend. Yami had his mouth covered with a hand, fingers over his lips, snickering softly.

"Wow, your girl voice sounds so real," Weevil stated sarcastically. "I almost thought you really were one."

"And now we see that Weevil is confused about his sexuality," Yami laughed, gesturing grandly towards the turquoise-haired boy. "So openly confused."

"At least I'm not going to take it up the ass," Weevil spat before glancing at the other two. "And Bakura looks like a girl anyways. You all look a pack of transvestites anyways."

"Damn it, Weevil, stop being a little bitch," Bakura hissed, rolling his eyes.

"Spit or swallow," Yami snapped, spinning on him once more.

Yugi opened and closed his mouth and then furrowed his brows. Was he supposed to throw something out there now as well? They didn't seem to be waiting or anything like in TV shows or movies but it still made him wonder.

"Isn't that the advice Yugi should be giving you?"

Yami stayed quiet for a moment, tilting his head and shrugging. "I'm sorry, is that supposed to be an insult? I don't see a problem with that."

"So you are the bitch!"

"Do you even know the concept of how sex works?" he scoffed, turning his head and giving him a skeptical look. "Do you know that you're supposed to give them orgasms or is that concept completely foreign to little bugs?"

"You know, I think that even if he manages to get laid, it's going to be a fucking mantis that does it," Malik snorted, rolling his eyes.

"And no one will ever hear his horrible tale of lost virginity via mantis because his head will be bitten off very professionally," Bakura snickered loudly.

"I love how life works with bugs," the blond said with a wide grin. "The guys almost always get killed. I mean, why not? Just fuck the males. Kill the males. Eat the males. Because they are just done with the entire concept of sex to have children. Just done with it all. Males? Who needs them?"

Yugi snickered and Yami shook his head, smiling in amusement.

"That's why all the bugs should become gay so that the women will become so jealous they'll try to get in another guy's pants but it would never happen. So then all the bugs would just die off and wouldn't life just be great?"

"Humans couldn't survive if they didn't exist anymore…"

"Hush, life would be amazing without the bugs."

"Bakura, no, that's not—"

"Yugi, yes, that's how things work."

Yugi scrubbed his face with his hands. "None of you are good at science, oh my god. All of you suck at science. Why do you all suck at science? Why am I the only one who's good at science?"

"You seem especially quiet today, Yami," Weevil snickered, leaning forward in his seat now that Yugi was distracting the red-eyed teen's cousins. Bakura and Malik were vicious when they got on a roll and he wanted Yami riled up on his own. He was far less likely to butcher him now that he was so tired. "Don't have any good comebacks? I think you're getting a little slow, don't you? Need your cousins to fight your battles for you now?"

"Shut your vagina," Yugi spat furiously, bristling as the turquoise-haired boy glared at Yami and then turned to him with a shocked look. Yami shot his boyfriend a surprised glance and turned his head to face Weevil for a moment; wait, had he said something?

"Oh my god," Malik muttered, nearly falling out of his seat with laughter.

"Ooh, someone's rigid," the other boy laughed, turning to the blue-violet-eyed teen. "How cute. You're trying to protect him."

"Go finger fuck yourself," Yugi snapped. "Or do you use your fucking bug toys to do it for you? Bug-shaped dildos are probably the only friends you have."

Rex burst out laughing and covered his mouth while Weevil glared at him angrily.

"See? Even Rex isn't arguing that. You're so far into fucking bugs that he won't even stand up for you."

"Yugi getting vicious," Bakura laughed. "Fierce little fucker. Yami must be rubbing off on him."

"Remember how he got with Mai at the mall?" Malik asked, growing extremely excited and leaning forward in his seat. "I so hope he starts in on him like he did her."

"Her crotchal region stunk, okay?" Yugi scoffed, turning to them with a slight blush on his face. "I had to warn him before he made a horrible mistake!"

Yami tapped his shoulder lightly and the other boy turned his head towards him. His cheeks grew a little pinker but he looked far happier with the eye contact. "The what region? She had a stinky what region?"

He flushed and bit his lip.

"The crotchal region."

"The…the what?"

Yugi looked over, whispering softly. "Like Excalibur is waking up in the crotchal region."

Yami opened and closed his mouth once before staring at him for a moment. "That statement shouldn't make me horny but…somehow it does." He paused. "And the word 'crotchal' makes me very oddly happy."

"It's an awesome word," the smaller stated, nodding. "Crotchal."

"I approve of this new word."

"Good." He nodded a few times and then turned away to glance at Bakura and Malik who were snickering and shaking their heads. "What? It's a fun word. Crotchal. Crotchal. Crotchal. Crotchal."

"Yeah, say that in front of a few other people and tell me how it goes," Bakura teased, leaning forward slightly with an eyebrow raised flirtatiously.

"I'm actually really tempted."

"Tell me who that works out for you, yeah?"

"Work out? I exercise alone, thank you," Yugi muttered, blinking before blushing when he realized his response. "Um…let's pretend I didn't just say that, okay?"

"Been there, lied about that."

"Okay, good. Glad we're in agreement."

"We are."

"Good."

"So, you're not going to say anything worth listening to?" Weevil commented, laughing when Yami turned his head towards him. "I thought you would have something to say. You're normally so on the ball with everything."

"I'm not in the mood, Weevil."

"How about we talk about how badly you failed. Negative numbers are really hard to come by, Yami—or should I call you Yam? Since you seem to respond so much better to being called a sweet potato. How about just Semen? Does that one work for you? Do you like being called by sperm, Yam? Yeah, I think I'll start calling you Yam Semen. I mean, that is the name you put on your test. You respond so well to that entire name."

"And you respond well to the name of a fucking dung beetle."

"A weevil is not a dung beetle, you incompetent moron," the turquoise-haired boy growled. "A weevil is—"

"No one gives a shit," Yami snapped. "I don't care about bugs and no one else does either."

"That's because all of you are unaware of the beauty that is the insect world," he snarled, bristling in response.

"And apparently you are unaware of your ability to be a supreme little bitch," Yugi spat, bristling and glaring at him furiously. Yami's mouth dropped open and his eyes nearly popped out of his head, gaping at him.

"Oh bitch, please—"

"I bet you're a real disappointment when it comes to shooting off on time or in the right direction."

"Oh, be stilled my beating heart," Bakura cried, hand to chest and head thrown back with a loud sigh of happiness. "He just brought dishonor on this bitch's game."

"Hot," Malik purred, holding his hands up immediately when Yami's head snapped towards him and his lips curled back.

Yami blushed for a split second and then bit his lip, nearly drawing blood. By the gods, Excalibur really was rising in the crotchal region. It was awkward but Yugi fighting with him was hot. It was definitely hot.

"All right, get out your books and shut up," Chono snapped, rolling her eyes. Yami and Yugi both scrambled for their backpacks but the smaller had to lean over him to get the bag. He brushed against Yami's hipbone and reached for the tan pack at his feet. His legs tingled and felt on fire where he touched him and Yami felt as if he was dying with anticipation now.

He straightened, pulling his backpack into his lap and putting his book on the table. Yami followed suit a second later, holding his book far too hard to be necessary. His knuckles hurt with the grip and he prayed to each god in existence that the blood would return north.

Bakura looked at them for a moment and then smirked widely, snickering, "Ha, oh my Ra, Yugi, you just gave him a boner!"

Yugi jerked a little in surprise, confused and wide-eyed, glancing at his boyfriend who spat, "Fuck!" He watched Yami press his textbook into his lap and glare at the tabletop in frustration.

"And he's sitting so close!" Malik teased, snickering. "Look at that. No wonder he's so bothered. Bet they've got some under-the-table action going on."

"I hate you both you fucking assholes."

Yugi couldn't stop blushing, opening and closing his mouth and then jerking his head away to stare at the wall. Oh gods, how awkward was this?

"How did you not notice that?" the silver-haired teen snorted, laughing before he suddenly lowered his attention to Yami's crotch and back. His smirk turned smug and took on an awkwardly Grinch-like approach to it. His eyes narrowed and his lips curved up a little too far, mocking laughter swirling in his gaze. "Ooh, cousin has a baby dick."

Malik howled and the teacher turned around, snapping, "Malik, Bakura, Yami, Yugi, pay attention! I will not repeat myself because you four idiots decided not to listen to instructions the first time."

"Who said anything about having to listen to them?" Bakura sneered in a cold drawl. "You're literally writing them on the board."

The other students burst out laughing and Yugi blushed furiously, ducking his head as Yami groaned and shook his head, putting his forehead in his palm. Malik fell out of his seat with laughter while his brown-eyed cousin snorted and drummed his fingernails on the tabletop, scoffing softly.

"Bakura—"

"I didn't know we were on a first name basis, Minikui," he snapped, turning around and glaring at her, narrowing his eyes slightly and putting his left elbow on the table with his face in his palm. "By the way, what kind of parents name their child that? Ugly. How lovely. I mean, it's not so far off the mark. Can't be. Otherwise you wouldn't wear so much makeup."

"Get the fuck out of my class. Get out."

Bakura burst out laughing and grabbed his book and test to flee out the room just as a whiteboard eraser was aimed for his head. Yami and Malik swapped looks and burst into snickers before turning away again. Yugi shook his head and giggled with his face covered.

"Seriously, you guys? I thought you were smarter than that. Does no one in this class know what comes after 69?" she snarled in exasperation twenty minutes into the lecture. Yami wondered vaguely just how long this would take and Yugi spent a moment staring at her marks on the board. He couldn't answer for the life of him. He had missed that grade by one point and now it was impossible to think straight.

"Mouthwash," Bakura announced, poking his head in and grinning widely.

"Get the hell out of my class and stay out, damn it!"

The silver-haired teen laughed loudly and closed the door again as the others all cracked up.

"Keep laughing, and I swear I'll make this make-up test happen on the fourteenth in the public library," she spat. "No, you know what? I'm going to do that anyways. Instead of being with your little brat hookups for the day, you're going to be with me in the library, retaking this test. Let's see how long all of you last after that."

---

Yami and Yugi waited behind with Bakura, the three of them seated at the table. Joey would be getting out of his after-school detention in a few minutes. Bakura had stuck around because Joey could drive and he didn't want to walk. But Yugi had suggested they get lunch first before going on home and had ordered ahead of time. Joey would meet them in about ten minutes and then they would all go home.

Yami grabbed some food from his tray of bento and waited as his phone vibrated.

Mana was at the dance studio now. His mom would be upstairs watching soaps when he got home. His dad had gone to the store.

He slid his phone back into his pocket as Yugi read over his shoulder and Bakura started rearranging his food to make new shapes.

"So, yesterday," Yami announced, waiting until he had his smaller boyfriend's undivided attention and Bakura glanced at him sideways, "I met a girl with twelve nipples."

The smaller boy's brows furrowed and Bakura smirked slightly as he realized exactly what was going on.

"Sounds funny. Dozen it?"

Yugi took a minute, unsure of what he had just done. He knew somewhere in the back of his mind that something was wrong with that statement. But he had no idea what was going on with it.

And then…Bakura spoke.

"The first is tomorrow. No puns yet."

Yugi looked over slowly, glancing between the two cousins and narrowing his eyes. "…Puns…?" There it was. That was what was so wrong, what he hated so much.

"Yugi hates puns," Joey cracked up, taking a seat in front of the beef bento that Yugi had put out for him.

"Well, he will have to endure them. I refuse to give up my birthright as the king of puns."

"I am dating a stupid," Yugi hissed, breathing hard once and scowling.

"You are very emotionally abusive. I am questioning my choice of partner."

"Puns. Suck."

"Pun Bowl begins tomorrow and lasts until Valentine's Day," Bakura announced, smirking widely. "Fourteen days, Yugi, fourteen days."

"Unless someone so chooses to continue the challenge until the twenty-eighth."

"Yugi is going to be a bona fide serial killer by the end of the week," Joey laughed, nearly in tears.

"All it is takes is someone dethroning me to end it," Yami stated, shooting Yugi a sideways glance.

Yugi narrowed his eyes. "This month sucks," he growled. "Nothing good ever happens in it."

"…Well, I was born the sixth—"

"Nothing. Good. Ever. Happens. In. It," Yugi snapped viciously, huffing and glaring at his tray of food. "Nothing."

Joey and Bakura both cringed when Yami blinked and gave him an incredibly hurt look. He slumped slightly, looking at his tray dejectedly and looking completely unhappy. Both brown-eyed boys started scarfing their food down while the red-eyed teen poked at his lunch with that same sullen expression.

"Well, uh…hey, at least this year you do have a valentine," the blond cut in, clearing his throat awkwardly.

Yugi blinked a few times and looked up. "I do?" he asked with wide eyes, excited but a little dubious.

Yami flinched harshly and scooted away slightly towards the edge of his seat and bumped knees with his cousin. The silver-haired teen glanced at the other boy and looked back towards Yugi, shaking his head faintly.

"Yugi," Joey murmured, gawking and nearly choking on the mouthful of food he formerly had in his mouth.

"What?" the smaller boy asked in confusion.

Joey gestured towards Yami and the other boy looked over, paling drastically. "Oh! Oh my gods! I didn't—Oh!"

"And now we know just who is more invested in this relationship," Bakura murmured under his breath. Yami cringed and recoiled away from him, gawking momentarily. Yugi stared for a moment and then grabbed his bento tray, turning towards him and dumping it over the silver-haired boy's head. Bakura turned his head and stared at him murderously, baring his teeth.

Yami couldn't help it when he burst out laughing, covering his mouth while Yugi glared at his cousin viciously.

"Shut up, asshole! I was still thinking about puns!" Yugi spat angrily, narrowing his eyes into slits. He lowered his voice into a vicious whisper, sulking. "Puns. Puns. I fucking hate puns. I hate puns. Goddamn puns."

"You are so lucky you're cute or you wouldn't make it to his seventeenth," Bakura snarled softly.

"Puns. Fucking p—" He stopped short for a moment. "There's a birthday coming up?"

Yami blinked twice and Bakura pressed his face into his palm, sighing loudly and shaking his head just as Joey did the same.

"Wait…whose birthday is it?" he asked excitedly, eyes wide as Yami awkwardly raised his hand and stared between them. "Really? Your birthday is coming up? When, when, when?"

Yami tilted his head. Had he really just missed all of what he had said? "…Friday…?"

"Really?" Yugi asked, sitting up with bright eyes and smiling widely. He paused for a moment, tilting his head before beaming happily. Birthday cake! "Well, then I guess February does have something good that happened in it."

Yami glanced at Joey, completely bewildered. The taller boy shrugged, muttering, "Told you he hates puns."

Bakura picked some food out of his hair and started putting the bento back on the tray that Yugi had left in front of him when he had dumped the food on him.

"Hell, you probably won't make it to your seventeenth anyways, Yami."

"Shut up, you," Yugi snapped, huffing and then glancing at the table. He took in Yami's food for a moment and glanced at the other boy to see if he was looking. The red-eyed teen glanced at him just as he stole a piece of bento from him and popped it into his mouth. "I can take a few puns."

"A few? Ha!" Joey laughed out loud, reaching forward to clap Yami's shoulder. "You won't make it to the end of the month, Yugi! This boy here is going to be throwing out as many puns as possible if he wants to keep his title. He'll be shitting puns soon enough."

Yugi turned his head and gave Yami a blank look, pupils completely distorted for a moment, glassy. "I…I make no promises but I'll try not to kill you before your birthday."

The taller look-alike awkwardly stared at him. "And…afterwards?"

He shook his head slowly, narrowing his eyes. "No, just no."

Bakura howled with laughter and covered his mouth, nearly crying. Yugi chewed his cheek and Joey snickered. "Sorry dude. You might want to buy a shit load of wine or something so you can get him drunk and lose your v-card because you really won't make it past your birthday."

"…Well…this is awkward…"

---

"Um…can we talk about something real fast, Yugi?"

"But Tea's about to go on stage—"

"Real fast, aibou," Yami pleaded desperately, searching his eyes. Yugi glanced back towards the stage curtains, listening to the song that was playing. Gentle music and the introduction that announced Tea was next once more made him frown and tilt his head unhappily.

He turned back and swallowed hard as the taller boy shifted awkwardly and looked sick to his stomach. "Are you okay?" he asked gently, furrowing his brows and frowning slightly.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I…We just have to talk…"

Yugi frowned but nodded anyways. "Oh…okay. Yeah, sure, we can talk—"

He caught his wrist and tugged him forward a few steps, swallowing hard with a small glance towards the stage again. "In private, Yugi."

"Yami…?" he breathed, sudden fear trailing down his spine like ice.

"Um…I don't exactly know how to tell you this…" the other teen murmured, twining their fingers together and leading him forward a few steps.

"Yami, whatever you have to say, I promise it'll be okay," he stated softly, smiling at him as they wandered outside into some kind of connecting hallway.

Yami opened and closed his mouth twice before chewing his cheek and finally closing his eyes. Yugi watched him tilt his head slightly before the other boy opened his eyes and stared at him. "…I'm pregnant."

He nearly laughed but then stared and tilted his head in confusion. And then he yelled, "But we haven't even had sex yet!" He gawked at him for a moment. "And w-when did I top?!"

Yami blinked, mystified. "You don't remember our first time?"

Yugi broke out into a loud scream, backing up a step and gaping at Yami whose eyes nearly popped out of his head. They stared at each other until they were both screaming out loud.

He jerked back when Yami did and he toppled out of the bed, slamming his head into the nightstand. He scrambled to sit up, breathing hard and looking around in confusion. "Oh my gods!" he yelped, eyes wide as he jumped to his feet and hurried to run out the door.

Five minutes later he was staring at a familiar red door, knocking and ringing the doorbell alternately. Yami's mother answered the door after a long minute, looking startled and unsure of herself as she opened the door.

"Yugi?"

He hadn't realized he was panting until he had to talk. His voice came out squeaky and his boyfriend's mom nearly laughed out loud. "Where's Yami?"

"He's…still asleep"—Like every other normal person in the world—"Are you—?"

Yugi ignored her and raced up the stairs immediately, Yami's mother staring after him with a confused look. "What the fuck…?"

"Yami!" he yelled, bursting through the door violently. The other teen didn't respond to him. His breathing didn't even change as Yugi looked at him and searched his face for any sign of waking up. Yami turned slightly, his face towards the wall. The smaller teen ran forward and leaped onto the mattress. The other teen jerked and nearly screamed, eyes shocked as he hit the mattress again.

"What the fuck?" Yami cried, eyes wide and tired as he stared at him.

"It's okay! I promise. I don't know how it happened exactly because you're a guy…" Yugi leaned forward and blinked, scrambling to pull the sheets off him. Yami stared at him with a horrified expression, unsure of what was going on. The smaller boy reached down to pull his pajamas away from his hips, following with his boxers immediately. He couldn't see with the shadow that the sheets and pajamas and boxers cast and Yami let out a strangled noise when he reached his hand under his clothing.

"Yugi…!"

Yugi blinked at him and then pressed his ear against his stomach. The taller teen squirmed when he absently stroked the morning erection in his hand. "It's okay," he said again, nodding immediately and smiling softly. "I accept it."

Yami squirmed and threw his head back, moaning loudly. "That…Fuck. Yugi, what the hell is going on?"

"It's okay. I know you're scared, but I promise I accept you and the fetus. We'll be the greatest parents ever."

Yami panted and licked his lips, moaning softly with a squirm. And then he stopped short, dismissing the pleasure with sudden horror. "Fetus?"

Yugi nodded and lifted his head, beaming at him. "I know about the pregnancy."

"You know about the…? Wait…what?"

"Ssh, you're okay." He met his gaze with warm eyes. "Don't stress. It's not good for the baby."

Yami shook his head slowly. "What are you…?" he hissed, nearly moaning again.

Yugi's eyes widened drastically and shot to his stomach immediately. "Oh my gods! What if I hurt it when I woke you up like this?" he asked, recoiling and pulling his free hand to his face to cover his mouth. Yami squirmed and whined low in his throat again as Yugi still didn't pull his hand away. "Oh my gods, Yami, I didn't mean to! I'm so, so sorry! I killed the baby!"

He trembled, purring softly and cutting himself off immediately. "Oh my fucking Ra…"

Vaguely Yugi wondered what he was moaning about but looked at him with tears glistening in his eyes. "I didn't mean to!" he gasped, nearly crying.

Yami panted harder, nearly out of breath, and shook his head. "What the hell are you even…? Yugi, I am not pregnant! I can't get pregnant! What the hell are you even…?" He shook his head slowly once more, glancing around in complete confusion and sudden curiosity. "How did you even get into my house? Shit, am I high or something…? Goddamn it, Bakura and Malik! What the fuck did they give me?"

"You can't do drugs when you're pregnant!" Yugi cried with wide eyes, shocked.

"Yugi, I don't have a uterus. I can't get pregnant." He breathed hard and his eyes became half-lidded, cheeks growing slightly flushed. "I don't understand what's going on…? Yugi, what the hell is going on? And, uh, next time you come to wake me up, make sure you do that again. Shit, that was awesome!"

The smaller boy blinked in confusion and then glanced at where his hand was still down the other teen's pajama pants. His eyes widened, cheeks growing flushed with embarrassment until his entire face was red. He looked quickly back at the other boy, swallowing hard. "I…I had this dream where you were pregnant and you seemed scared that I wouldn't accept you and the baby and…"

Yami tilted his head and moved to sit up, watching him and frowning slightly. "Must have been some dream."

Yugi blushed and looked at his hand again. "Yeah, I was…" He tilted his head, curious, and the taller teen squeaked in shock when he licked his hand. The smaller boy glanced at him, tongue still against his palm as they stared at each other.

"Oh, yep, lucid dreaming," the other sighed, falling back against the mattress.

He blinked and sniffed his hand, wrinkling his nose before licking again. "You…taste like butter," he announced innocently, smiling. He giggled playfully, satisfied with the discovery. "You really taste like butter!"

Yami's head snapped up, eyes wide in shock. "Oh my fucking Ra. I'm awake, my boyfriend apparently had a dream I was pregnant and jerked me off which I'm assuming was him trying to make sure I hadn't turned into a girl all of the sudden. Ra damn it, my first ever hand job and it's because my boyfriend thought I was pregnant." He covered his hands with his face and groaned, a sob following his words. "Oh. My. Fucking. Ra. Kill me."

Yugi blushed, laughing softly in awkwardness. "Oh wow. This is…really awkward. Ha," he mumbled, blushing harder. He looked at his hand and licked again immediately, curious once more.

Yami peeked at him through his fingers and his eyebrows nearly shot into his hairline. "I don't know whether to be ecstatic that you didn't run off to wash that off or shocked out of my mind that you're…literally licking my orgasm off your hand…"

"How about both?" Yugi asked, blushing brighter than a cherry as he looked at him.

He pulled his hands away immediately and gawked at him, eyes nearly popping out of his head. "Holy. Fuck."

Yugi laughed and pressed his hands against his abdomen for a moment. "I feel like I'm squishing its head…" he admitted, jerking his hands away and poking his stomach before recoiling with wide eyes. He swore the skin twitched even though he wasn't touching it, almost like…a baby moving…

"…You feel like you're squishing the nonexistent head of a sorely impossible baby?" He paused for a long moment. "Yugi…Babies don't even grow in the stomach."

"But…if you were pregnant, wouldn't I be squishing the cells that would become its head?"

"Yugi, sweet little aibou," Yami said, eyebrows furrowed, "I am a boy."

"I know my sexual orientation. Thank you very much, Yami!" He paused. "But if you could…"

The taller teen sighed softly. "Yugi, you're barely even touching my stomach. And besides, you would be feeling my stomach, not karate chopping it." He nodded, putting his hands back on his stomach just as it started growling loudly. "If I could give birth my children would apparently be a pack of wolves."

Yugi burst out laughing and followed him downstairs to get some breakfast after pecking him on the cheek. The taller teen led them into the kitchen where his mom glanced at Yugi and then her son and asked, "You two want any eggs?"

"Yes please," Yami said immediately, rubbing his eyes and glancing at Yugi sideways when the other boy started biting his lip. He wandered over to grab a cup and fill it with water while the smaller took a seat.

"So, how did you sleep?"

"He got a hand job!" Yugi blurted out, throwing his arms out. "I forgot he had a penis!"

Yami's mom froze in place, staring at the smaller boy as Yami spat water straight across the floor and coughed violently.

"Well…I'm guessing you haven't been doing a very good job of showing him that you're all male," his dad laughed, walking into the room and snickering at his son's reddened face. "I'm half disappointed but mostly amused as hell."

"I—I—He has strange dreams!" the red-eyed teen objected, flushed. "He…ugh!"

"So, Yugi, how did this happen?" the ambassador asked, smirking widely. "What happened to make you forget that he was a boy?"

"I dreamed that he was pregnant."

"Yugi!" he whined pathetically.

The smaller boy held his hands up in surrender as his boyfriend's dad doubled over laughing and wiped at his eyes. Even his mother was giggling as she continued making the scrambled eggs and put them on a plate. Both of his parents swapped looks, laughed harder, and then cleared their throats awkwardly.

"How do you like your eggs, Yugi?"

"Sunny side up, please," he mumbled, almost too quiet for her to catch. Yami pouted and moved the water around in his cup, sniffing indignantly.

"Well…did you figure out what sex the baby was before you woke up?" his dad asked, smirking widely. "I want to know if it had more masculinity than my dear special son."

"Oh my god," Yami whispered. "You all hate me."

"Eh, just a little," his mom teased playfully.

"But I'm still the favorite right?" he whined. "You both like me the best, right? Right?"

"…Um…yes," his dad stated almost lazily. "My absolute favorite. Mana has nothing on you, Yami."

"Damn straight," Yami said immediately, grabbing his plate of scrambled eggs and taking Yugi his. He plopped into the seat beside him and both started to dig in. Yugi squealed softly, excited out of his mind, when he popped the yolk and it ran across his plate.

Yami's parents started snickering, smiling widely in amusement.

"How are your eggs?" his dad asked curiously.

"Eggcellent," Yami announced, smirking at the ambassador.

"Oh…is it February already?" his mom murmured, smiling. Ah, the beautiful chaos that would arise soon enough.

"That's a horrible joke," the Egyptian ambassador hissed. "A horrible one, you hear me?"

"Yolkay then," he snorted, rolling his eyes and smirking at him.

"You stop with those egg jokes," he growled, narrowing his eyes.

"I shell not!"

His mother snickered behind her hand, watching them from where she was leaning against the counter.

"I should just give up on you."

"Well at least you fried."

The ambassador got to his feet, glaring at him furiously. "Son of a bitch."

"Don't mess with me," Yami snorted, snapping his fingers and pointing at him. "You have clucked with the wrong half-Egyptian half-Japanese motherfucking sixteen-year-old."

Yugi choked on a piece of egg white and shook his head slowly. "Horrible. You are horrible, Yami. Only thirty minutes awake and you're already breaking up your family without effort."

"I know. Isn't it glorious?"

"Oh my gods."

Yami snickered and continued eating his breakfast, his mother wandering off. Yugi happily munched on his eggs and toast before licking at his plate. The taller teen stared at him curiously for a moment and the smaller stopped for a long minute, tongue still against the plate. They stared at one another for a moment before he continued licking up the yolk.

The taller teen led him to the living room and snatched the remote off the table. "Any specific movie or show you want to watch?" he asked curiously.

"Nope."

"Okay, so, Yugi, I have a question for you my little aibou," he announced, grinning widely at him and reaching over to run his fingers through the boy's hair. "Can February March?"

Yugi stopped short for a moment, considering, and then glowered at him.

"No, but April May!" he sang happily.

"I am so done with you already," the smaller huffed. "Six days of this? Ha. I can barely even take it as it is now! And it's only just started!"

The taller teen purred, smirking and wrapping his arms around his neck. Yugi glared up at him but his expression was quickly turning curious as Yami pressed their foreheads together. "You say that. But July."

The smaller boy burst out laughing and pushed him away. "I hate you," he giggled, pushing him away with a small bit of firmness, smiling at him widely. "You suck."

---

"Coffee, huh?" Yami muttered, staring at the cup and wrinkling his nose. Yugi passed one over to him and leaned back into his seat.

"Mmhmm because we have studying to do for this test coming up—and I am going to make sure we both pass."

"…Then you probably shouldn't give me caffeine," the taller laughed, shaking his head. "I tend to fall asleep when I have caffeine."

Yugi stopped short of sipping and stared at him with his eyes narrowed. "What? That's not even possible."

"Yes it is. I fall asleep within an hour of drinking coffee—that's why there tends to be a stunning lack of it at my house," he snorted, grinning widely. "Because I drink, I pass out, and then I stay up for like three days straight because I need a sleep schedule. Oh my god, do I need one…"

"…So you have a bedtime?"

"Fuck no, don't insult me!" He paused for a moment and tilted his head. "No, not really, but I do have to be aware of how many hours I get and then make up the difference for the hours I miss the night before. My life is complicated. You have no idea."

Yugi pursed his lips and then grabbed his coffee to take a sip. "Well, then that's mine too," he announced, reaching over and snatching it away from him. "I don't know how people can actually drink this stuff, but I need help with this test. And I have a feeling trying to study with you is mostly going to be you touching my butt."

"Damn it, who told you that?" Yami snapped, huffing and sulking. "No one was supposed to tell you that. I was just going to make my move on your butt. And then maybe—"

"Excalibur is not allowed near his stone yet, okay?" Yugi huffed, pointing at him and shaking his head. "No talking about Excalibur getting stuck there! I have math to focus on not failing a second time!"

"Oh please, you aren't going to—"

The smaller boy sat up straighter, tilting his head and giving him a dark look.

"What?" Yami asked immediately, eyes widening. "What did I say wrong?"

"We, Yami, we are going to pass. Because if I'm the only one who passes, I'm going to hurt you," he grumbled, narrowing his eyes again. "You and I are both going to pass because I am not dating a stupid!"

"You are so mean!" the taller boy whined. "I'm not a stupid! I just…You know that grades don't even test intelligence, right? They test memory!"

"No excuses. I am not dating a stupid."

"But I'm not a stupid!"

"I wouldn't be dating you if you were."

"…You're so mean."

"Yes. But it's because I'm so amazing."

---

Yami shrugged and shook his head. "You should know that we are all incredibly lazy and I hate doing chores," he announced, grinning at him playfully. "Besides, it was always a dream of mine to have my future husband tearing down a Christmas tree with me."

Yugi rolled his eyes, laughing and shaking his head as he went about grabbing a couple of ornaments. "Isn't that how you roped me into decorating with you?"

"Hey, I enjoy all of the Christmas-ness that comes with having a partner, okay? Mistletoe and bright colors and pets in Santa hats." The taller boy shot him a wink. "You dream big or you go home."

"And that statement applies to homicidal tendencies and Christmas dreams," he snorted, smiling widely and glancing at him playfully. "Nice to know."

"Oh my Ra, are you getting sarcastic with me?"

"I guess the caffeine is kicking in then," Yugi giggled, smiling before shaking his head. "Oh well, I have studying to do. Minor setback, right?"

"Hmm…so I'll get to see how your personality gets when you're caffeinated. I was hoping you would be more hyper than usual."

"That's my…crash stage."

"Crash stage—wait, you have stages for being caffeinated?"

"Yeah, about twenty of them, actually."

"Twenty?" Yami sputtered, gawking at him as he went about starting to take down a strand of lights.

"Mmhmm. I have the sarcastic stage, the mean stage that never really leaves, the smarty-pants stage, the chocolate lover stage, the chocolate hater stage and the Duel Monsters craze phase that never leaves either. There's the…you know what? I think you'll like the others, so just wait it out," he snorted, snickering and then pausing when Yami stared at him uncomfortably. "I promise it's fine. I just…really don't expect to live past your birthday. Puns suck."

But birthday cake is awesome!

Yami stayed silent for a long minute and then picked at one of the wires, pulling the lights away and holding them up. He waggled his eyebrows and Yugi tilted his head in confusion. "Don't these just light up your life?" he teased, grinning widely.

Yugi blinked and glared at him unhappily. "Why are you punishing me?" he growled, watching the other boy open and close his mouth before lowering his head. The smaller huffed softly and started wrapping the wire around his hand, frowning when Yami glanced at him sideways. Finally Yugi lost his patience and stopped to look at him, finding him glancing at him and away again immediately.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you," he sighed, rolling his eyes and pausing for a moment. "Okay, okay, yeah, maybe I did a little but still."

"You win," he mumbled.

Yugi blinked and looked away, grinning. "No more puns for the day?"

"Yeah, no more puns for today."

---

Yugi should have been expecting it. He was sipping his coffee in the beginning of homeroom, focusing on his math study guide for the make-up test. Yami took his usual seat next to him and it took him a minute to realize he was leaning towards him. When he looked up the first thing Yami did was lean even closer.

"Did you know I'm a professional chess player?"

Yugi raised his brows and then tilted his head, about to ask if he really was.

"Because I'm making a move on you!"

The smaller teen rolled his eyes as a giggle escaped his lips. Stupid adorable Yami. He turned away again, laughing harder.

"Yes!" Yami chuckled, pumping a fist in the air next to him. Yugi continued giggling at his side, shaking his head and covering his mouth. The red-eyed boy beamed for a moment and then frowned slightly, looking him over. "Do people just magically start liking coffee or do they go through some kind of six month-long purification ritual to like it?"

Yugi sipped at his cup, thanking the universe for small miracles that it wasn't cold. "You try coffee for the first time and scald off all of your baby tastebuds and then after that your adult tastebuds come in and you like coffee and prunes and the taste of despair."

"…That is so deep."

He nodded. "It's the same with alcohol."

"Should I ask how you know about alcohol?"

"…I am a good boy. Don't judge me," he snapped, blushing and looking at his paper. "It was an accident anyways!"

"What the…? You've had alcohol?!"

"I—Grandpa didn't tell me which glass was the sparkling cider!"

"You drank champagne?" Yami laughed. "How long ago was this?"

Yugi pursed his lips and grabbed his coffee cup to chew on the edge of the lid, eyes wide as his boyfriend leaned forward and stared at him. No, no, no, he wasn't going to tell him. No way was he going to—

"New Year's celebration," he cried, feeling his face burn brightly. "Last month when Grandpa got home from Egypt on the sixth! I didn't know! It was an accident! He didn't warn me! I thought—I thought—but he didn't warn me and I—it was an accident! I swear I don't do it all the time or anything. I'm not a raging drunk. Oh, oh my god, I didn't mean to!"

Yami burst out laughing and nearly fell out of his seat. "You," he snickered, hugging him tightly and burying his face in his neck. "You have no idea how much I fucking love you right now."

He sniffled softly once. "I'm glad my growing alcoholism doesn't scare you," he whispered, almost close to tears. Yami burst out laughing harder, nearly crying, and buried his face further into his neck. By the gods, this boy was just too cute.

"I promise it doesn't," he teased, pausing and biting his lip before laughing harder. "I bet your grandpa was trying to get you ready for your college years."

"We don't talk about college!" Yugi cried, pushing him away and staring with wide eyes. For a moment he looked scandalized and then determined. "No! We do not talk about it! There is no talk of college!"

"Of course not." He smirked and reached over to lean forward and breathe in his ear. "But someday. Someday super soon. And then we'll start talking about college and Grandpa Motou and Arthur Hawkins and—"

"No!" he whined, shaking his head immediately and looking almost ready to cry. "We don't talk about that!"

"Soon, though. Soon we will."

"No. Never!"

"Yes. Forever!"

"You're so mean to me!"

"I show love by abuse," he muttered, laughing when Yugi went still beside him.

"Oh my god. You just admitted to being abusive."

"But I'm lovingly abusive."

"Abuse!"

"Loving abuse."

"Still abuse!"

"You love it."

"A little bit."

Two hours later Yami sat with him at the lunch table as the others hurried over. Joey took a seat and immediately leaned forward, checking for blows. Tea and Tristan both snickered at their friend and the others nearly laughed out loud. Duke was laughing so hard he was nearly crying.

"We just spent the last ten minutes running here from the other side of the school just so we wouldn't miss any puns," Malik explained, panting and leaning forward onto the table. "Or Yugi tearing your head off, because I want to see that happen."

"I'm going to go get a coffee real fast," Yugi announced, getting up and gesturing towards his notebook. "Watch that for me."

"Mmhmm," Yami stated dismissively, smiling at him when he flicked him in the forehead. "Okay, okay. Have fun."

"Anyone want coffee?"

"Wait, you're drinking coffee?" Joey asked, nearly sputtering the words as his eyes widened drastically. Tea and Tristan both froze in place and then swapped looks and stared at him in horror.

Yugi glared at them pointedly and pursed his lips. "Yes," he muttered. "I have to pass this make-up test and I need to focus on studying—all the time. Until Valentine's Day."

"Is that when the test is?"

"Yeah, she's making us retake our test on Valentine's Day," Bakura scoffed, rolling his eyes in annoyance. "We all talked during her going over some problems and she decided that we must be punished. She doubts any of our relationships will last after that."

Joey burst out laughing but gave Yugi a curious glance anyways as he wandered off for the coffee kiosk near the second lunch line. "Dude, start up the puns so when Yugi gets here, we can laugh at how annoyed he is," the blond laughed, smirking in amusement.

Yami stayed silent for a moment and then pursed his lips, glancing at Bakura and Malik. "So, Bakura, what do you call a drug dictionary?"

The silver-haired teen paused for a moment and then grinned widely. "An addictionary?"

"I was going to say 'high definition,' actually," he muttered, blinking wide eyes before narrowing his gaze. "Your challenge has been accepted."

"Challenge? Bakura already made a challenge?" Mana whined, hurrying to take the seat across from Yami. "And I missed it?"

"Yep, you did," the brown-eyed teen snickered, smirking. "Anyways, now we need one for you and Malik and…the rest of them."

"We have to do a group one anyways so we can annoy Yugi," Joey said, snickering in amusement. "Anything to drive him mad is an A+."

"Well you guys need to hurry because here he comes," Tristan commented, raising a brow.

Yami shot a look over his shoulder and then turned to his cousins. "You know, math puns are supposed to be the first sine of madness," he announced loudly, Yugi glancing at him and narrowing his eyes as he took a seat.

"Not to go on a tangent but how do people even function without puns?" Bakura drawled.

"I guess there are just sum people who don't like them," Malik said, smirking widely.

"We should divide and conquer those people before they multiply," the silver-haired teen announced, smirking at Yugi as the smaller boy blinked. Yami shot him a dirty look and Bakura immediately turned away again, snickering.

"Just have to get to the root of their problems and square them away," Malik commented with a snicker.

"I doubt that will make a difference," Yami snorted, glancing away from Yugi immediately when he got a furious scowl.

"Then do we force them to integrate? Or do we just let their population exponentially decay to zero?" Bakura wondered, stroking his chin.

"Their numbers may be infinite but our control over them has its limits," Malik said softly, shaking his head. "We shan't do a thing."

"You know, I can't find any good science jokes because the good ones argon," the brown-eyed teen commented suddenly, glancing at Yami with a clearly puzzled expression after losing all ideas of how to continue the math puns.

"So just take all these awful science jokes and barium."

"We could just respond to this with another clever chemistry pun but there would be no reaction."

Bakura shot him a grin. "Not bad. I think we might have to keep an ion you."

"Nah," he returned dismissively, giving him a playfully flattered look. "I think it'll be okay if you just check up on me periodically."

"I can only do that after 6 pm though. The nitrates are much more affordable than the day rates," Malik commented.

"Glad to see you found a suitable solution. If they lower the rates, I bet they'd attract more customers like you," Yami stated, nodding.

"Well, I'm not positive about that. They have a bad reputation of stealing electrons," Bakura said with a shrug.

"I hope we don't stretch out our puns for too long or they could become a Bohr."

"No kidding. After a while they just get saturated with cobalt, radon, and yttrium and everything gets really corny then."

Malik and Bakura both spun on their red-eyed cousin with wide eyes, blinking and swapping looks for a moment.

"Wow…That comment really had a lot of substance to it," Bakura muttered, frowning slightly as Yami grinned like the Cheshire cat.

"And this is why I am the king," he announced, smirking and winking before getting up and wandering off to the line for food. He returned a few minutes later with a bowl of chili, taking a seat next to his boyfriend again and pushing the tray slightly closer to him. "Someone as hot as you—"

"No, no, stop with the puns," Yugi growled, covering his mouth. "We are done with the puns. Stop that."

"You know what, Yugi?" Yami drawled, pulling his hand away and covering it with both of his when the smaller boy glared at him. "Puns got me a good grade one time."

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, okay, Yami."

"There was a question on one of my history exams one time where it was something like 'How was Stalin buying time from Hitler to prevent him from attacking the Soviet Union?' and I wrote 'He was Stallin'."

"Oh my god. You did not," he muttered, eyes wide.

"True shit, Yugi. True shit. Halfway through grading them the next day my teacher started laughing real quietly and then she had to leave the classroom for five minutes," Yami continued, smirking widely and purring. "She marked it as correct."

Yugi shook his head, about to argue, and then stared at him for a moment. "…Oh my god. You're fucking serious," he breathed.

"I am." He paused. "Now! As I was saying, little one. Someone as hot as you must never get chili."

"I hate you."

"He's coming on strong already," Joey snickered. "Normally it takes a few more shots to get him to say the H word."

Yugi pointed at him. "You be silent. We'll only have problems when I start saying I loathe him."

"Very comforting," Yami commented playfully.

"Oh, so I forgot to tell that you that I have to go home today," Yugi said, pointing his eraser at him. "I have to help Grandpa run the shop after school so I'll call you later, okay?"

"Um…sure…You don't want me to help?"

"Make a pun about a game and I will kill you," the smaller warned with a dead serious look.

"Yeah…better I don't go with you."

"Yeah, that's what I thought too."

Yami held his hands up, laughing and going about messing with his chili before handing it over to Joey when he started drooling. Several hours later he was giving Yugi a goodbye kiss and the smaller boy was running with his coffee yelling into his phone that he was on his way. Yami walked home alone since Bakura and Malik were taking Mana to her dance lessons.

"Shit!" Yami laughed into the phone at ten when the smaller boy finally answered the phone after five previous attempts to get hold of him.

"What? What happened?" Yugi asked, sipping his coffee and spinning his pencil around in his fingers. He would have been alarmed if it wasn't for his laughter, instead looking at his study guide and frowning slightly. X couldn't equal that…

The red-eyed boy shut the door and started laughing harder. "My dad hates me during February. So, he just threw a loaf of raisin bread at me to get me out of the kitchen." Yugi burst out laughing and stopped immediately when Yami added, "He says he hasn't been raisin me well."

"No, you stop that," he snapped.

"Oh yes, this is going to be fun," Yami announced, laughing. "This will be amazing."

---

"Do you live in a stable?" Yami asked immediately as he took a seat next to him, nearly spinning in his seat as they stared at one another.

"What?" Yugi asked, narrowing his eyes slightly. "No, Yami, you've been to my h—"

"Because you are so damn ride-able!"

The smaller boy blinked twice, staring at him, and then shook his head with a small grin. "You're so annoying."

"But in the best kinds of ways."

He smiled wider and nodded, glancing at him playfully. "Exactly," he snorted. "Jealous, insecure little bastard with the punning skills that many wish they had."

Yami wiped at fake tears and hugged him tightly. "You get me."

"Well…our souls did have sex before," Yugi murmured, laughing and smirking playfully. "I should know you pretty well after that, don't you think?"

The taller teen grinned widely. "Ooh, I want to have our souls touch again," he teased. "I want the return of some soulestation."

"No, our souls are not touching again. Not now—after the make-up test. Then they can molest each other all they want to."

"Fine, but be aware your soul will be completely tainted by the end of it."

"I know. It's a risk I'm willing to take…if you can make it to Valentine's Day anyways."

"Don't hate on the puns."

"All the hate for the puns. I hate puns, damn it." He paused and then spun on him, grabbing his shoulders and grinning widely. "Oh my gods, Yami, your birthday is in three days!"

Yami tilted his head. "Um…yes?"

"You're not excited about it?"

"Not really…I have to suffer through it."

"What do you mean?" He paused for a moment. "Wait, is this about how Grandpa said he would only let you have sex with me while we were the same age? Because he gave you his blessing later! So, I mean…"

"No, no—wait, how the hell did you know about that? You were in the gas station picking out way too many snacks—"

"Grandpa always told me that growing up—especially after…err…what happened with Tea," he mumbled, blushing in embarrassment for a moment. "Anyways, why would you suffer through your birthday? It's the day you were born! And you get cake!"

"Yes, and I am unfortunately forced to share my celebration with my annoying little sister. And they said siblings were good things to have."

"You celebrate it with…?" Yugi shook his head slowly. "What does that mean exactly?"

"She insists on celebrating her birthday the same day as me."

"…I thought that was once. You said that one time you guys decided to celebrate with a birthday dinner on the same day…"

"No, no, never once. Nothing ever happens just once with Mana. Besides, she always insisted on it—since we were two, she's always insisted on celebrating the same day. I said one time because, fuck me, it's hard to think about when I am trying to get happy about my own birthday," he snorted, rolling his eyes.

"Okay, so what about how you came out via the cookie?"

"Yeah, when I said celebrating her twelfth birthday, I meant mine too," Yami muttered, chewing his cheek. "We just focused more on her that day because I wasn't feeling the birthday celebration."

"Oh my gods…" Yugi felt his eyebrows shoot up as he tilted his head slowly. "Wait a second…So then…how old is Mana anyways? I thought—I thought you guys were twins or something and now…!"

"Twins? Me and Mana?" He barked out a laugh and raised a brow. "No. She's two years younger than me."

"Then how the hell is she…? I mean…Huh…? She's at high school…"

"She's ahead by a year."

"Oh…!" Yugi took a moment and then tilted his head. "So she's a nerd!"

Yami snickered in amusement and shook his head. "Don't say that in front of her. She'll go off on a tangent about it."

"Oh…okay…"

"Yeah, and then we would have a big problem."

"That's…that's really negative koi."

"It's a rational idea."

Yugi blinked slowly, staring at him and trying to catch on to what had just happened. "Wait, did you just…trig me?" he muttered, eyes widening drastically. "Oh my gods, ignore that—"

"No, I swear! It's factorial!"

"Stop. Stop it. Stop it before I have to subtract you from my life," Yugi snapped, glaring at him as Yami's eyes widened drastically and he shifted away a small bit.

"That will only add to my sorrow."

He covered his face, groaning out loud and laying his forehead on the table.

"Don't let a few math puns divide us, aibou!"

"Please, please, Yami—please!" he begged quietly. "Stop it! I hate puns."

"Fine, fine, I'll stop but just know that I will always halve an absolute value for them," he stated loudly, grinning widely. "They are such an integral part of my life."

The taller stared at him when he growled softly, blue-violet eyes narrowed angrily at him. They looked at one another for a long second and then Yami turned away again, glancing at him awkwardly from the corner of his eye. Yugi continued staring him down for a long minute and then finally turned away again to sip at his coffee.

At lunch Yugi was unpleasantly surprised to find that his friends had decided to join in on the punning event. He sat comfortably next to Yami just as Joey said, "My opening line for the essay?" with a grin, leaning forward and licking his lips. "'The invention of the shovel was groundbreaking.'"

The small teen raised his head and stared at him coldly.

"But the invention of the broom was the one that truly swept the nation," Tristan teased, winking at the blue-violet-eyed boy. Yugi shot him a scowl and nearly missed it when Tea spoke.

"On the contrary, soap washed away the competition," she laughed, smiling widely.

"And the invention of the CD broke a lot of records," Mana snickered.

Yami blinked a few times, still surprised by the sudden launch of puns. He guessed this was their new strategy to knock him out of his throne. He pursed his lips, confused and wondering as they all turned to him and waited. Yugi shot him a pleading look and batted his eyes while the taller teen opened and closed his mouth.

"The invention of the dildo had a deeper impact than previously anticipated," Yami announced, grinning widely and getting laughs from the others while Yugi groaned loudly and whined.

"Why do you all hate me?"

"There's no hate. Only love," his boyfriend sang loudly. "Especially with a dildo. Lots of love with a dildo."

"By the gods," Yugi whispered. "You're really planning on this dildo thing."

"Glitter Peen all the way!"

"Oh my god," Tea giggled to Tristan, "he said that with a straight face."

---

"Yami, you had better get up or else you'll be rushing," his mom called from the doorway, standing with her arms crossed and shaking her head.

Yami rolled over tiredly and squinted at her. "If I'm Russian, Soviet," he muttered groggily.

"I question every decision we ever made when it came to raising this bastard," his father hissed from her side, glaring at him. "Motherfucker."

His wife burst out laughing and Yami continued squinting for a moment before clapping. "Ha, I can pun in my sleep!"

"Damn MTV. Always ruining families by teaching viewers how to make puns."

"He made a pun already?" Mana whined, poking her head in and glaring at the red-eyed teen as he stuck his tongue out. "I wanted the first one!"

"Well that's just too damn bad, isn't it?" Yami sneered, rolling onto his back and basking. "Because no one beats the king!"

Yami was still smirking and Mana was still sulking when they arrived at school and separated to get to their lockers and homerooms. Thank the gods Mana had a car or else they would have both been screwed by how late it was.

He got there just as the bell was ringing, taking his seat next to Yugi and immediately drumming his pencils. He could see Yugi glancing at him occasionally, one hand on his cup of coffee and the other resting in his lap lazily. He watched his fingers twitch every time the plastic mechanical pencil hit the desk.

Yugi was struggling not to snap at him to stop drumming his pencil like that. Yami could see his left eye twitching as he glanced at him sideways and huffed extremely loud. The taller teen waggled his brows, smirking widely, and purred, "I am good at banging."

He choked, laughing, and covered his mouth. "Oh my god, Yami."

He leaned towards, smiling and purring, "We've got to prepare for the ABC's of sex, you know?"

"The…huh?"

"Anniversary, birthday, and Christmas, duh," he murmured, rolling his eyes.

"And the D is intentionally omitted," Yugi stated, nodding slowly and blinking a few times. Wait, what?

"Don't worry about the D, Yugi," he whispered. "I'll give it to you later."

"Wait, no, what does the D mean?" the smaller boy demanded, confused.

"Yugi, tell me something."

"Okay…?"

"How do you spell 'me'?"

"M-E?"

"You forgot the D, aibou."

"There is no D in 'me'," the smaller whispered, furrowing his brows.

"Not yet, but I can put the D in you."

Yugi tilted his head slowly and stared at him before narrowing his eyes. "Oh, I see, well I can put the D in you too. See how much we have in common?"

The taller boy looked at his crotch and raised a brow, grinning. "Is that happening already?"

His cheeks heated, his eyes widening as he ducked his head and crossed his legs. "Shut up."

---

"When I have to have the sex talk with my kids, I'm going to tell them to follow the basic rules of 'If your age is on the clock, you're too young for the cock'," Bakura announced, winking at Yugi playfully.

The smaller boy glanced at him in confusion and then looked towards Yami as he flipped through his study guide and scrunched his nose up. "And then when they turn thirteen, just say 'Sit back down, you little shit. I was talking about military time'," the red-eyed teen muttered, narrowing his eyes.

Yugi snickered and Bakura threw his arm around his shoulders only to have Yami stab his hand with his pencil. The albino yelped and snatched his hand away, snarling as his cousin shot him a furious look.

"I think I'm going to name my daughter Pepper," Malik announced suddenly, grinning widely.

Yami slammed his study guide down and glowered at him furiously. "Who the fuck names their child Pepper of all things?" he snapped, pointing his pencil and narrowing his eyes.

"Someone who wants to add spice to their life."

The red-eyed teen stared at him with wide eyes, blinking as Yugi finally looked up in confusion. The smaller boy blinked a few times and then snatched his coffee. Yami watched him take a few sips and knew for a fact he wasn't about to live down the accidental pun he had just thrown out there.

Yugi was still waiting for some teasing for the pun when they stepped into detention. He was about to beg Yami not to when they both stopped short.

"Yeah, assigned seats," Chono scoffed, gesturing. "Find your test, got it?"

"Don't worry, Semen boy, you're next to me," Weevil laughed from his seat.

Yugi swore he saw Yami's eyes flash violently as he started forward. "Son of a fucking bitch," he muttered under his breath while the smaller boy opened and closed his mouth and scrambled to find his own test.

Yami being stuck next to Weevil was so not a good idea.

He cringed as he took his seat and Rex sat next to him. Bakura and Malik sat beside two kids who he had no idea the names of.

"So what makes a number perfect?" she asked after a long few minutes of them all staring up at the board. She was flipping her marker around and Yugi was chewing on his coffee lid. Yami was trying not to punch Weevil. Malik was waiting for him to kick the termite's ass. Bakura was staring at the board with his eyes half-closed and his head tipped forward as if he was about to fall asleep. "What makes a number perfect?"

Yugi lifted his head slowly. "Its sparkling personality?"

Yami snorted, covering his mouth and snickering behind his fingers as he glanced at his boyfriend playfully. The smaller boy blushed softly, confused as the others in the room started laughing out loud.

"Oh, so now that you're all separated, you're going to be the clown today, huh?" the redhead hissed, glaring at him as he blinked wide eyes and opened and closed his mouth.

"N…no?" he whispered, ducking his head.

"Your boyfriend is fucking brainless," Weevil snorted, laughing and shaking his head.

"You should shut the fuck up before I shove your teeth down your throat," he spat, spinning on the other boy and baring his teeth.

"Oh please, you won't do shit—"

Yami shoved him backwards and the turquoise-haired boy nearly toppled over, catching himself by grabbing the other teen's arms. "I'm not afraid to beat the shit out of you," he snickered. "Say something about him again. I dare you."

Weevil shoved him but Yami barely budged. Ms. Chono raised a brow, watching them and narrowing her eyes as Yami shoved back. Both of them shoved each other away angrily, seething after a few minutes.

"My god, could you two try to be a little more mature?"

Yami didn't even pause, screaming, "Taxes!" just as he slammed his fist into the other boy's face. Weevil screeched as he went flying out of his seat and hit the ground. Yugi sputtered, choking on his coffee and feeling tears prick the back of his eyes. His jaw fell open as the others burst out laughing.

"This bitch," Bakura howled. "He just used an accountant's battle cry!"

Yami shot him a smirk and turned back to Weevil.

"And the fourteen-year-old got his ass kicked."

"Fourteen?!" Yami, Yugi, Bakura and Malik crowed loudly, eyes nearly popping out of their skulls. "He's fucking fourteen?!"

---

"I cannot believe you punched him in the face!" Yugi seethed, shaking his head and scowling at the other boy. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"He called you stupid and I couldn't allow that," he replied shortly, rolling his eyes and glancing at the barista. Yugi continued leaning against the counter, waiting. "You really thought that I would just let him say something like that? I would have killed him if I had gotten the chance."

"You don't kill anyone! You don't have the proper resources, damn it," he snapped, throwing his hands up. "Your cousin kills people and then covers it up for himself—or pays people to do it. Whichever—doesn't matter. But still! You don't do that, koi!"

"He was asking for it!"

"So he said, 'Hey, Yami, you want to punch me in the face?'"

"Well…no, but—"

Yugi shook his head and snatched his coffee off the counter, wandering for the door with Yami immediately after him. The taller boy whined loudly behind him and the smaller sighed as he grabbed his hand.

"Come on, let's go inside, okay?" he muttered, leading him over to the game shop and pausing momentarily. "Oh, uh…Grandpa is home, by the way."

Yami cringed slightly. "You know, he hates me because I don't have boobs."

"He doesn't h—"

"Yes he does. Don't lie to me."

Yugi sighed and shook his head before grabbing his hand and leading him inside. He took a sip of his coffee and cringed violently, staring at the cup as if it had just bitten him. He scowled for a moment and then looked his cup over for a moment, tilting his head. That was his name written on the side of the paper after all… He furrowed his brows and wandered towards the case with Yami behind him.

"What? What's wrong? What's wrong with your coffee?"

"Hmm? Oh nothing. Just tastes a little different."

"Oh…" Yami tilted his head. "Did you order a new flavor?"

"No…Maybe they're just using a new kind of bean or mix or something?"

The taller teen raised his brow and tilted his head, shrugging after a moment. "I guess so," he muttered, both of them taking a seat behind the display case. The smaller boy sipped his coffee, glancing around and frowning.

"Grandpa? Grandpa? You home?"

"Please don't be home, please don't be home," Yami whispered under his breath, narrowing his eyes slightly. "Please, by all the gods in the world, don't let him be home…"

Yugi shot him a shocked look and then turned away again. "Grandpa?"

"Have mercy…"

"Grandpa?" He waited a long minute and then turned away again. "I guess he's not home."

"Thank you, Ra!" the taller teen cried, throwing his hands up. "Yes, thank you so much!"

Yugi rolled his eyes and nudged him before sipping his coffee again. "Don't be mean."

"He told Vivian how to beat me so that I couldn't have sex with you!" Yami protested, throwing his hands up. "He does not like me! He does not like me at all! If he can show his distaste, then so can I!"

"You two are just too mean to each other."

"I'm just waiting for the day that he chases me with a broom."

"And there it is. I knew I shouldn't have told you that story."

"I would have assumed you were cheating on me with Espa otherwise—"

Yugi sighed and pressed his face into the display case, groaning softly. "Why are you so insecure?"

"It's one of my…more beautiful flaws. I am adorable with it."

"You're a little shit," he teased, looking at him and pressing a small kiss to his forehead. "But I love you."

"Mmhmm, you had better," he purred, leaning into his shoulder happily.

---

"Yugi? Yugi? Hey, honey, where are you?"

Her husband frowned as he flipped the switch and the room was bathed in light. Both Motou's swapped looks and cringed slightly as they spotted him. Yugi laid in the middle of the floor, sprawled out on his side, a book in his hands, cheek against a page. A massive empty cup of coffee lay on the table next to him.

"Oh god!" his mom cried, covering her face with her hands and shaking her head. "He's caffeinated! All hell is going to break loose!"

"You think if we leave today, we can pretend we don't know that he's been drinking coffee?" his dad whispered, looking at the sleeping boy and chewing his cheek. He didn't want to be there when the caffeine really hit his son. By the gods, he didn't want to be there for that.

They both swapped looks for a moment, eyes wide.

"I hope Dad doesn't hate us for this."

"It'll be a miracle if he or anyone else survives this."

"We have to get out while it's safe."

"Yep."

"…Okay, we should run while we've still got the chance."

"Yep."

---

"Hey, boy, are you my ball-point pen? Because you are"—Yugi looked over just as he showed off the black pen—"extra fine."

The smaller boy sighed and shook his head, glancing at him for a moment again. The taller boy's excited expression fell completely, bowing his head as he pouted and stared at the desk. Yugi kissed his cheek and turned away again quickly, sighing again.

He waited for a stampede of puns but nothing came until lunch, when he took a seat and the others all smirked at him. Yami glanced at him sideways and winked playfully before leaning forward.

"All right, so story time!"

"Story time?" Malik scoffed. "I came for a—"

"Shut the fuck up, bitch," Yami spat, pointing at him. "It. Is. Story. Time."

"Ooh, someone's not in a good mood," Bakura laughed.

He shot him a dirty look, holding up a finger and narrowing his eyes. "Okay, so, two scientists walk into a bar. The first says, 'I'll have H2O' and the second says 'I'll have some H2O too'. So both of them receive water because the bartender is not irresponsible enough to serve concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink."

Tristan stared at him for a long minute as the silence continued. Yami blinked slowly and looked at him in response. The others all had confused expressions but slowly the brunet leaned forward.

"Hydrogen peroxide is H2O2. You fucking chemistry geek."

Yugi stared at them for a long minute, slowly growing frustrated as he loudly snarled, "Who walks into a bar and orders water?"

The others took a look at him, laughing out loud as the smallest boy glowered and looked upset enough to cry.

"Shit, calm down. I didn't know that joke would upset you," Yami said quickly, eyes wide as his boyfriend opened and closed his mouth and then shook his head slowly. They stared at each other for a moment before turning away again.

Yugi wasn't entirely sure what was going on with him, just that he was a lot shorter-tempered than he should have been. Not that the joke made any sense in the first place. Who went into a bar to get a cup of water?

"So oxygen went on a date with potassium today…it went OK," Bakura announced after a long minute of silence.

"I thought oxygen was dating magnesium. Omg!"

"Actually," Yami cut in, pointing his pencil at Malik, "oxygen first asked nitrogen out but nitrogen was all like NO."

"…I thought oxygen had that double bond with the hydrogen twins," Yugi whispered, shaking his head slowly and running a hand through his hair before sipping his coffee immediately.

"Looks like someone's a HO!" Bakura howled.

Yami pointed his pencil at him, clicking the lead loudly. "NaBro," he growled.

"Fucking hell," Malik groaned, shaking his head. "He just took that one seriously."

"I hate puns," Tea muttered softly, sighing and shaking her head.

They settled into a small silence for a moment and then Yami suddenly sang, "Twinkle, twinkle, little star, how I wonder what you are—"

Yugi looked over, glaring through narrowed eyes. "It's a flaming ball of gas. Learn some science you dumbass," he cut in coldly as Yami started sipping his drink.

The red-eyed teen spat his soda across the table, gawking at his boyfriend as the others burst out laughing. They stared at one another for a moment and Yugi gave him a dark little smile that had him shifting away slightly.

"Shit," Joey howled, pointing at Yugi. "Oh my god."

"Looks like the caffeine and puns are really starting to get to him," Tea snickered, covering her mouth and shaking her head. "So, Yami, Joey said your birthday is tomorrow?"

The red-eyed teen continued looking at Yugi sideways for a moment before turning to her. "Uh…yeah, actually," he commented, smiling slightly. "And Mana's if you want to go by her bullshit."

"…Wait, you guys aren't twins?" Tristan asked with wide eyes, blinking in shock and glancing between them. Mana and Yami both stared at him for a moment, swapped looks, and then scowled at each other.

"No way," the red-eyed teen growled. "You see how much you've fucked everything up already?"

"Shut up. It's not my fault you're not smart enough to skip a grade," she sneered, smirking widely and raising her head proudly. "The fourteen-year-old is so much smarter than you."

"This is school. School is where they test memory and not actually smarts," Yami snapped, bristling. "Besides, why the fuck would I waste my time worrying about my grades being at their top when I already know I can pass with flying colors? I don't have to try nearly as hard as you."

"Getting comfortable with things is how you start slacking off," the blonde sang loudly.

"It's also how your big brother ends up killing you off because you're the spare," he snorted, smirking widely. "Getting all comfortable stealing his lime light by celebrating your birthday the same day as his because you're a clingy little bitch."

"Shut up! Ugh, I tried to stop them last year—"

"Is that what you call it? 'Mom, I think we should—oh my god, that is so cute! I love this outfit! Thank you so much, Mommy!'"

"That outfit was amazing!"

"It was horrible."

"Stop trying to force your negativity on me, damn it!" she snarled, glowering and crossing her arms. Yami and the others stared at her for a moment and then the blonde let out a loud yelp of pain as her brother touched her arm. A loud snapping noise made Yugi's head snap around in alarm, eyes wide and staring in confusion, and the others all froze.

"Electrons," Yami whispered playfully.

"I should kill you in your sleep," the blonde snarled.

"That's not going to happen. You're the spare, bitch, not me."

"Ooh, someone is definitely not going to make it to tomorrow," Bakura sang. "Mana's going to get chopped up in her sleep!"

"I'm leaning more towards Yami being killed instead," Malik commented.

"Nah, Yami is older. He's the alpha," the silver-haired teen stated, smirking. "He's going to fucking maim her."

"Hmm…good point. Alpha."

"If you think about it," Yugi said suddenly in a mumble, eyes wide as he stared at them, "the process of singing the birthday song and cutting the cake is extremely satanic."

"What?" Yami asked, furrowing his brows in confusion and staring at them.

"Think about it like this!" The smaller boy gestured towards his notebook and tilted his head. "A small gathering of people huddle around an object on fire. They chant ritualistically a repetitive song in unison until the fire is blown out and a knife is stabbed into the object and a piece is carved out."

Yami gave him a horrified look. "Goddamn it, you morbid little shit," he growled as Yugi blinked and stared at him innocently. They stared at one another as the taller sighed and slouched against his seat, crossing his arms angrily. "Guess what we're not doing tomorrow."

"What? Hell no! I want birthday cake!" Mana objected loudly.

"It's not even your birthday!" Yami snarled viciously, baring his teeth. "It's never been your birthday. You just always butt in!"

"Fuck off!"

"Butts are normally round!" Yugi blurted out suddenly. "But some people have really flat ones. So it's like…nothing there. Like…you're one big straight line. With nothing there. I bet it hurts when people fall over and have no butts. They probably hurt their pelvic bones. Wouldn't that suck?"

Yami stared at him for a moment and then tilted his head. "Probably hurts like hell."

---

What did one ocean say to the other?

Yugi stared at the screen for a long minute, narrowing his eyes into slits. "Oh, for fuck's sake," he whispered under his breath just as the next text came in.

Nothing! He just waved.

You're a dork.

Do you sea what I did there?

…I hate you.

Seriously…do you? Yami texted back immediately, the smaller boy sighing loudly as he took a seat on his bed again.

Yes.

Are you shore?

…Stop, Yami, really, just stop.

No need to be a beach!

Yugi stared at the screen for a moment and then narrowed his eyes into slits. Did he just call him a bitch? "…Fuck you," he muttered into the phone, watching it type it out and sending it immediately.

Water you saying?

"That you are literally one more joke away from being single, goddamn it," Yugi spat into the phone, sending the message immediately again.

Shell I stop then?

"Over! I am done!"

Okay, I guess I'll just go krill myself now came in a second later and Yugi almost panicked, a part of him unsure if it was an actual joke. He waited a moment, looking at his phone, and exhaled in relief when he got the text of I just tide.

He smiled a little, feeling almost stupid for thinking that Yami's comment was ever that serious.

No! I fish you would come back!

Yugi got a few seconds before the next text.

I won't sand you anymore messages!

He rolled his eyes.

Or at least my responses won't be as pacific!

The small teen fell back into the bed and raised his phone over his head, glancing at his study material on the nightstand waiting for his attention.

Whale, I guess you're not coming back.

He tapped his fingers against his thighs.

Anyways! Water you up to now?

Yugi rolled his eyes again and grabbed his notebook, flipping open to a page he recognized with square roots and imaginary numbers.

Dam you.

He smiled in amusement and shook his head; it was almost like he knew he had just thought of getting into studying.

Sorry! That's what one river said to the other Yami texted again immediately, the smaller boy giggling at the statement.

I'm going to make you walk the plankton.

He put his phone aside and looked over his notes, grabbing his coffee off the nightstand and tapping his fingers against the paper. A few minutes passed between the next texts while he sipped some of his drink and prepared for another late night.

Are you tide of these jokes? Because I understand that after a while they get annoying. I think it's on porpoise though.

Yugi tilted his head as he continued reading his notes.

What did one volcano say to the other?

The smaller boy grinned widely as he read the last one.

I lava you!

"Yugi? Why are you drinking coffee at ten pm?" his grandpa asked from the doorway, making him turn his head with his eyebrows raised. Both of them stared at one another for a second and then Yugi sat up slightly, taking a sip once more.

"Time is but an illusion," he stated softly, looking him over. "Once you realize that, you can transcend and live in bliss. Also…I have a ten-page paper due in the morning that I have not yet started."

"Oh…all right. Just…don't make any noise or anything, okay?"

"Mmhmm," he commented, nodding and turning back to his phone where he knew that Yami was waiting for his response.

I love you too, koi.

Yami purred as he looked over the text and turned away for a moment, frowning again. Where the hell was Milky Way? He hadn't been able to find her all day. At first he had figured he had just missed her or she hadn't been hungry when he had put food in her bowl. But now she should have been in his bed for snuggles or at least coming up the stairs for him.

"Mom…Mom, I can't find my cat," he muttered as he entered the kitchen, chewing his thumbnail and wondering vaguely if she was outside. She would have been meowing from her tree branch, however, so he was pretty sure that wasn't it. "Where the hell is Milky Way?"

His mom stared at him blankly for a long moment. "You…don't know where Milky Way is?" she repeated incredulously. That cat was almost always glued to Yami's side. She was almost always in the same room as him. She commonly greeted him at the door when he got home. She laid with him on the couch when he watched movies…

"Well, maybe she finally decided you were just too much of a loser to have a cat," Mana laughed, smirking widely.

"Mana, that's…so rude…"

"Mom," Yami snapped, narrowing his eyes at the laughter in her gaze.

She sighed softly, holding up her hands and shaking her head. "All right, let's look for her. Although I don't think she went very far, Yami. She's probably just somewhere waiting for you anyways."

Yami shook his head but followed the plan to separate and search for her. For an hour and a half the four of them wandered around looking and calling her name. He was trying not to, but he was starting to get pretty panicked. His fluffy little kitten was out of sight and that meant so many things could go wrong and—

"Okay, come on, pretty kitty, where are you?" he muttered, wandering into his room again for a moment and looking around. "Milky Way…?"

A muffled meow made his head snap around towards the bed, eyes wide as he looked at it. That…was a really weird lump in the center of his bed. He furrowed his brows and hurried over, starting to under the blankets. "Oh my god."

Milky Way was lying perfectly still, tucked up happily and flicking her tail back and forth lazily as she looked up at him. He grabbed her, immediately snuggling the black she-cat and yelling, "Okay, I found her!"

He let her twist in his grip enough that she could lick his forehead around her purring and then furrowed his brows in confusion as she bopped him there. He stared at her for a moment, narrowing his eyes. "Did you just baptize me, pretty girl?" he asked curiously, laughing when she started purring louder and he realized his mom was standing in the doorway. "Hey, Mom, did you have the cleaning ladies over recently?"

"Yes, actually—how did you know that?"

"Because she apparently tucked my baby under the blankets and I know for a fact that I have never done that. I've lost her under the bed a couple of times, but never under the blankets!"

"Such an improvement," Mana laughed out loud from where she was poking her head out of her room.

"Fuck you, Mana. You have a rat that can't even function right and doesn't exercise, the obese little shit that he is!"

"Enough you t"—Yami and Mana both looked at her curiously as she held up a finger and frowned—"Hey, um…so…you…um…you made the bed by tucking the cat under the blankets? Why would you do that exactly?"

Both siblings watched their mother break down in laughter, hanging up and crying as she wandered out of the room. They swapped looks and Yami blushed furiously as Mana cracked up when they heard her mutter, "It wouldn't move" around laughter.

---

"Okay!" his mom announced, smiling as she started to put the cake down in front of them. Yami raised a brow and Yugi grinned widely as he looked over the image on the icing. The picture was of Yami being crowned the World Champion duelist and the words "Happy birthday Yami and Mana" were written in miniature Slifer's. The red-eyed teen furrowed his brows and narrowed his eyes, glancing at his sister who gawked at the cake with wide eyes.

Was this a joke? They had given him this exact cake last year when he actually had won the title. The only difference was the Slifer's making up his name. Before it had been simple red icing. And the Slifer was posed beside him, coiled like an angry snake with its bottom mouth open as if it were striking was different. Before Slifer had been laying in defensive mode. Plus Mana was missing from the shot, because she had been added as a background detail as someone in the crowd cheering for him.

Other than that, it was the exact same cake.

"W-wait! My name is on…! Mommy! I told you I don't want to celebrate it the same day this year!" she whined loudly, glowering as Yami reached forward and poked at the icing, about to wipe off her name when he found it was plastic.

Well this was definitely different…

"Yeah, yeah," her mom sighed, rolling her eyes. "You always say that."

"But it's true! I don't want to celebrate the same day as him anymore! He's an ass!"

"Mana," she scolded, glancing at Yami who was still staring at the plastic addition of his sister's name on his cake. "Look, you might not be happy about it, but—"

"Mommy!" she whined again, throwing her arms up. "I'm not even on this cake! You used to do pictures of me and Yami together and this one is only him!"

"Well…we're trying to wean you away from celebrating the same day."

"It's because I'm the favorite," Yami cut in immediately, turning to the blonde with a devious look. "I am the favorite so I am the one that they love the most so I get the whole cake to myself because you are the spare."

Yugi blinked a few times, chewing his cheek and glancing at them curiously for a moment. "Wait…is that…plastic?" he asked quietly, tugging on Yami's jacket sleeve and staring at him with wide eyes. "Is that plastic?"

"Oh my Ra, Mommy!" the blonde cried loudly, gawking at the cake and then Yami and Yugi. "What the hell?"

"Weaning," her mom said, nearly laughing. "We're weaning you. Have to do it in small steps—"

"You don't have to wean me! I don't want to celebrate the same day as him anymore!" she snapped angrily. "I told you that a few days ago! I told you, I told you, I told you! I can't believe you did this!"

"Hey, hey! Tone it down before I pin you to the floor and fart on you until you pass out," Yami growled, pointing at her. "Don't talk to Mom like that."

"Shut up, Yami!"

"Why? You knew that this was going to happen when you started doing this shit! By Ra, you only really started saying anything about this two days ago. You really think they had any time to prepare or anything? No, now calm the fuck down." He rolled his eyes. "Besides, no one cares about the spare."

"Rude," Yugi commented quietly, reaching over and looking at the miniature Slifer's spelling his name. "They didn't even put the gem in his forehead in the last few ones. How is he supposed to be divine if he doesn't even have his gems?"

All three of them glanced at him for a moment and then turned back to the argument at hand, Mana changing tactics immediately.

"Well, when my birthday comes, I don't want anything to do with him!"

"Good because I could not give less of a fuck," Yami scoffed. "Thank the gods, freedom!"

"Oh shut up! You weren't complaining about it before—"

"I always complained!"

"No you did—"

"When the hell is your birthday?" Yugi cut in viciously, throwing his arms up. "Oh my gods, just—when is it? When is it so we can just toss the plastic letters off and Yami can celebrate his birthday alone this time? It's that simple guys!"

Yami's mom stared at him as if he had just grown an extra head, shocked by the sharpness to his voice. Yami and Mana glared daggers at each other for a moment and then the blonde turned his head towards him with a furious look that slowly turned confused. And then positively mortified.

"Well?" Yugi pressed. "When is it?"

Yami stared at his sister for a moment and his eyes widened as he burst out laughing. "Oh my Ra!"

"Oh…oh my god," Mana whispered, eyes growing owlish in horror.

The smallest teen in the room's eyes grew wide in realization and his mouth opened and closed as he looked at Yami's mom. She looked away immediately again, chewing her cheek and crossing her arms slightly.

"Do you know when her birthday is?" she whispered to her husband as he entered the room. The ambassador stopped short and turned to her with bug eyes and both of them stared blankly.

"Fuck. I thought you were in charge of that!"

"It was easier when she wasn't so smart!" his mom hissed softly. "And then she grew up and now she's…going through some kind of identity crisis and…oh Ra, I don't know when her birthday is."

"Well…on the bright side, neither does she…?" he tried, blinking as Yami fell over and started rolling on the floor with tears in his eyes.

"Oh my god…" Yugi breathed. "What the fuck is wrong with this family?"

"Ha! Oh my Ra! Shit, do you even have her birth certificate or anything?"

"Birth certificate!" his mom whispered, nodding enthusiastically and then freezing in place. "Oh my god…didn't those get ruined in that flood?"

"…This is why I said we should have only had one," the ambassador hissed, covering his face with his hands and sighing loudly. "But no, you wanted two."

"Hey, you wanted a daughter!"

"I would have been okay with just the boy! I mean…he acts like a girl already!"

Yami stopped short mid-laugh and glared at him for a moment. "Rude!"

"I make no apologies. I didn't raise you right in the first place. Otherwise you wouldn't be so keen on torturing me your birth month," he shot back, pausing for a moment and turning to his wife. "On second thought…"

"This family is so messed up…" Yugi whispered, biting his nail and glancing at the cake and then his boyfriend. Yami was now pouting from where he sat on the floor, scowling and crossing his arms as he huffed softly.

"This is why we were hoping for another year before we had to deal with this," his mom sighed, shaking her head and looking at her daughter. Mana was still frozen and staring blankly at Yugi, the small boy awkwardly fondling his cup of coffee without meaning to. The red-eyed teen got to his feet after a moment, dusting himself off and huffing with a glare towards his dad who merely smirked in response.

"Well, um…So how about we celebrate Yami's birthday now instead?"

Yugi threw his hands up, nearly tossing his coffee into the air. "Yes, cake! I want cake! Mm, yummy, yummy, cake! Yes!"

Yami shot him a startled look and nearly did a double take when he found the smaller boy licking some butter cream icing off his finger. They stared at each other and Yugi hissed at him loudly enough that Milky Way hissed back from somewhere in the living room. Mana let out a low, keen squeal of a noise like a balloon that was having all the air slowly released.

"Don't judge me!" Yugi cried, gripping his coffee cup harder. "It's not my fault none of you were watching me! This is why I need adult supervision! I always eat icing off the bottom of the cake if I'm not watched properly!"

"And we're the ones with issues," the ambassador whispered, shaking his head slowly. "Boy watches too much MTV."

"Dad!" Yami snapped, crossing his arms. "None of that!"

"Okay, okay." He held his hands up and Yami watched his mom scurry off to dig into the drawers for a set of candles. He and Yugi swapped a look momentarily and the smaller boy stuck his icing hand into his pocket, kicking his shoe awkwardly as he sipped his coffee again. Yami snickered softly but fell silent as his mom came back and started to put the numbered candles on the cake.

"Mom…that's supposed to be a seven," he muttered, pointing and frowning at her. "I'm seventeen, not sixteen."

"No, Yami, it's…it's really not."

"What?"

"I got the right numbers."

"But that's a six."

"Exactly."

Yami stared at the candle for a long minute and then looked at his dad. "It was funny when you guys were fucking with Mana, but this is over the line. I'm seventeen—"

"Yeah, uh…no you're not."

He blinked once, long and slow, and then narrowed his eyes. Yugi gave them all a horrified look and then glanced at the table and back. Oh gods…

"I'm a pedophile!" he screeched suddenly, nearly tossing his cup again when he threw his hands up. Yami spun around with bug eyes and Mana choked loudly while their parents stared at him curiously. "You're fifteen!"

"Wait, wait, wait a second!" he snapped, shaking his head. "They're messing with me, damn it. There's no way I'm fifteen! Mana is fourteen! That's not even…! No, that's…"

"Well…actually we thought you were born in 95 but you're actually a 96 baby," his mom commented quietly, laughing awkwardly. "So…you're only just now turning sixteen."

Yami nearly puked. "What?"

"And Mana is only a year younger than you, so…"

"I'm a pedophile!" Yugi cried, eyes watering as his bottom lip wobbled. "You're barely even a teenager! Oh my gods!"

"What the hell are you even…?" Yami opened and closed his mouth as the first tears started down the smaller boy's cheeks. "Aibou, that's not—"

"If it makes you feel any better, technically he's sixteen now," his mom muttered, giggling as Yami's eyes started taking on a glassy hue now as well. Both look-alikes stared at each other and then Yugi started whimpering and flailing his arms.

"And you were laughing at me? Ha!" Mana cried, laughing out loud and pointing at them. "This is great!"

"My life is a fucking lie!" Yami choked out, sobbing loudly as Yugi echoed him. The smaller boy flailed his arms pathetically.

"My boyfriend is too young to be so perverted!" he cried, wailing. "I should be the perverted one!"

"Why is that the biggest thing that matters to you?" the taller cried angrily. "My life is a fucking lie!"

"Well…I guess this wasn't the best idea of how to tell you."

Yugi stopped crying suddenly, furrowing his brows and staring at Yami for a moment. The taller glared at his mother furiously while Mana continued cracking up and the ambassador rubbed his face and shook his head. He stared at his taller boyfriend and chewed on the lip of his coffee lid again.

And all he could think about now was the fact that Yami had spent some time petting a cockroach. All he could think was that should have been a red flag for the crazy that was the family. How did one go about petting a roach and then screaming with it for a whole five minutes?

"…She is still younger than him…right?" he muttered suddenly, looking at Mana and then Yami and his parents slowly. "I mean…oh my god, if she's older…"

"Yes, she's still younger. I remember having Yami before her, thank you."

"Oh…Okay. Good…" He lowered his eyes and kicked his sneaker lazily for a moment before looking at Yami again. "You pet a cockroach one time."

"What does that have to do with anything?" he snapped, sniffling. "I'm fifteen!"

"Sixteen," his dad sighed. "You're sixteen."

"How would you know?" he spat, huffing. "You just admitted you don't know when Mana's birthday is! You might not even know mine!"

"Are you serious right now? Yours is the only one that's actually been celebrated since Mana turned three," the ambassador snorted, nearly laughing as his son opened and closed his mouth, looking confused now. "A year younger doesn't really mean anything—"

"He's…perverted jailbait," Yugi muttered, tilting his head and frowning. "And he's beautiful. I think there's a slight problem with this…situation."

"Technically sixteen is the age of consent—"

"No!" the small teen cut her off angrily. "He's…really perverted. And he's jailbait. Like…I don't know if he's actually sixteen anymore. Mana skipped grades. For all I know he could actually be like…twelve."

"He's not—"

"Oh my gods, am I twelve?" Yami cried, eyes wide and horrified.

"You're sixteen! Sixteen! It's only a year!" his dad snapped, throwing his hands up. "You're only a year younger than you thought, okay?"

"…Don't yell at me!" Yugi blubbered, starting to cry again. "I always cry when people yell at me!"

"…Well, we raised two girls. And our oldest is dating another girl. This is…wow. Marvelous," the ambassador sighed, taking a seat and watching them. "I told you we should have written him a letter or something—got him alone to tell him."

"Oh please, it wouldn't have done anything…" She paused for a moment. "Um…Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you…?"

"Happy birthday," Yugi blurted out, singing in a wobbly voice and looking at Yami with a deer-in-headlights expression that the other snickered at, "Happy birthday to you…"

He scowled when she lit the candles, glaring at the six for a moment as they continued singing. He hesitated actually blowing them out because Yugi looked extremely lost now that they had all fallen silent. His teeth were working at his lips and his eyes were so wide it was kind of scary to look at him. If he had ever thought he had seen someone lost before, he was second-guessing that now. Yugi was like the embodiment of the emotion, acting on auto-pilot and still managing to look confused while doing it.

"Blow out the candles, dummy," Mana muttered, huffing and crossing her arms when her dad glared at her coldly. She turned away from him again immediately and looked at Yugi instead. The smaller boy was still chewing on the plastic lip and staring at Yami with that strange blank lost look.

"I don't want to."

"Please do. I want cake…I really want cake…a lot…like so much," Yugi whispered, blinking and turning to the pastry with wide eyes. "Come on, koi…blow them out…I want cake…I want cake…I really want it…a lot…Pease? Please give me cake…"

Yami opened and closed his mouth for a moment and then huffed and blew the flames out. Yugi looked ready to lunge at it and his mom sighed in relief as she grabbed a knife to cut with. Mana snickered softly and the red-eyed teen turned on him with a mumbled, "Cake slut."

"Yes," the smaller boy stated eagerly, nodding and looking at him with bright eyes. "I am."

---

The second part will pick up almost immediately after if not a day later in the story with mentions of what happened after the birthday incident. Anyways, I don't have a set date for the next update but let me know what you think of this update?