Thanks so much for sticking with my story! I DON'T OWN STAR TREK OR THE CHARACTERS. I DO NOT INTEND ANY COPYRIGHT OF CHARACTERS OR DIALOGUE. I only own my OC Stella.

Please pass me the hooked scalpel." Commander Spock requested, and I handed it to him. He cut into the plant slowly, a transparent orange liquid oozing out.

We had been working in the lab for a few hours, making much progress regarding the cactus. We had been working in relative silence, the commander only speaking when he needed something.

It felt peaceful, as if his presence calmed me down. While working in solace, I didn't feel much. Indifferent, almost. Now, after our several research sessions together, I felt as if I actually enjoyed work with another being. As if whether or not I had a voice didn't make a difference while I worked.

"Please hand me the serrated surgeon knife." He requested again, and I placed it in his waiting hand. I was careful not to brush against his skin. I had learned how sensitive Vulcans were when my hand had inadvertently brushed against his, and his had tensed.

I had taken a step away from him, holding my hands up as a signing apology. He seemed confused for a split second before using context to figure out what I had meant. He registered my apology and stared at me with his cutting eyes.

"It is quite alright Lieutenant.", he had assured me, and we quickly resumed work.

After another hour in silence besides the clanging of small metal instruments and the clicking of a microscope lens, he called it a day.

"I believe our session has been very productive lieutenant. We are making much progress." He said with a level voice before standing up and beginning to pack up supplies.

I quickly scribbled on a nearby pad before sliding it to him.

Please call me Stella

He picked it up and read it before elegantly scripting on it and sliding it back. His hand writing was as poised and careful as he was.

Very well. You may call me Spock when we communicate if you wish, it is only fair to reciprocate the gesture.

I smiled and stood up, pulling off my white rubber gloves and removed my lab coat. I was just about to open the door when I felt my surroundings become fuzzy, out of focus. I turned to look at Spock, whose eyes were flickering to me with masked concern and leaking confusion.

I tried to grab something when I fell to the floor, having lost my balance. Spock immediately knelt down grabbed me as he searched my face. Everything in my vision was blurring together as if I were drunk.

"Stella, what is it? Do you need assistance?" He asked urgently, but I couldn't move. I didn't have a voice to answer. The last thing I remembered was his arms tightening around me as I lost consciousness, the fear I felt melting around me like the blackness.

When I woke up, I felt fuzzy all over. Like I was made up of fluffy clouds and I could float. I began to wonder how many drugs I had been put on.

Tubes were inserted in my arms and I vaguely felt one in my stomach. I was tired, and I wondered how long I was out. Feelings of nausea cradled itself in my stomach and my jaw tensed as I tried to bar the feeling away.

"You're awake, finally."

I heard Doctor McCoy's voice fill my ears and I looked across the room at him. He headed towards me with a clip board and pen in hand. His eyes looked tired and worn, as if he had been up for a while. He wasted no time assessing my health, marking down things from the monitor near my He began a string of questions as he scanned his chart.

"Head ache?"

I shook my head.

"Tired?"

I nodded

"Can you see in both eyes?"

I nodded.

"Any buzzing feeling?"

I nodded again.

He scribbled quickly on his notepad before looking at me.

"Well the good news is, nothing is permanent. You were exposed to an Andorian virus, from that damn cactus. The affects could have been much more severe." he paused, preoccupied by my tubes before continuing, "But luckily Commander Spock was able to concoct an antidote." He explained in his thick southern accent. I nodded comprehensively.

"You were very lucky. But you do need to rest for a few days, so your body can recover from the blood transfusions." I nodded, and my mind began to estimate how much work I would miss out on, and the lot of research I would be behind in. I was about to start pouting at the bed rest when I heard a communicator beep.

"Doctor McCoy, Commander Spock has requested a visit for Lieutenant Anderson." I heard another nurse call through his communicator. Doctor McCoy looked at me, as if for permission, and I nodded. I needed to thank him for saving me.

"Alright, send him in."

A few moments later Spock was at the door, looking me over with quick analytical eyes.

"Are you alright Stella?" He asked, and I thought I heard...concern, in his voice. Concern? Maybe. I eyed him, hoping my dubious thoughts were hidden behind my face. I did not want to insult the man who had just saved me.

I smiled my answer as he took out a pad of paper and handed it to me. How had he known? He sat down in the chair next to my bed.

"Well, I'm just going to run some scans on your blood. I trust you can watch her?" Doctor McCoy looked over at Spock, who nodded shortly.

"Yes, Doctor, she is in capable hands."

I had handed Spock the pad of paper.

Thank you, Commander. You saved me. I'm sorry I cause such a scene.

His eyebrows slightly furrowed as he read it, and his mouth quirked down.

That was when I first realized how handsome Commander Spock was. His chocolate eyes locked away his emotions. His lips were a perfect bow, parted as he read the note.

I quickly averted my eyes and blushed. It was inappropriate for me to think of a senior officer this way. I had forbidden myself from getting romantically involved with any crew members shortly after I was assigned to The Enterprise, for several reasons. The first one being that working on a star ship was dangerous, and any crew member or officer could be killed in action at any moment. The second rational being that I did not want to risk my position or anyone else's position is I were to be romantically involved with a higher officer. It could impede my ability to work and no doubt make it difficult for the second party involved. It was too much trouble and too much risk put at stake for me to make a silly decision to ache for a higher ranking officer.

He looked me in the eye when he finished reading.

"We agreed to call each other by our primary names. And you were in no way a nuisance. I am glad I was able to find an antidote before you suffered any permanent damage."

I smiled before writing on the paper again.

Doctor McCoy says I will be bedridden for a bit.

He nodded.

"We can continue our research when you recover. But for now I strongly recommend you take enough time to recuperate."

Spock left soon after, needing to return to the bridge. I sighed deeply. It was going to be a long couple days stuck in the med bay, and I had a feeling I would also be stuck with my frivolous thoughts from a childish mind.

Two days stuck in the med bay later, with visits from Uhura, Gaila, and occasionally Kirk or Spock, I got a visit from Sulu.

I smiled at him when we crossed paths, or sat with him during lunch in the mess if I decided to show up and eat around others. A friendship had form between us, threads of our relationship consisting of our interest in botany, literature, and old fashioned board games that could be found in the rec room if you looked hard enough. I had yet to beat him at the original version of Monopoly, a game that would take us several weeks to conclude although the outcome for all the games had been the same. His victory was sweet considering all the times I had almost won but was squashed by his hidden intelligence and skill of property ownership and strategy.

He stepped into my temporary living quarters in the med bay late afternoon one day, his hands behind his back before he revealed the hidden object. He had brought a flower, a tiny blue orchid that smelt sweet.

"Morning, Stella. Since you were cooped up in here for a while I decided to bring you a terran flower.", Sulu explained, and I smiled widely.

I examined the flower, its blue petals a deep shade of cerulean with sprinkles of white throughout the blossom.

I signed a thank you, and he shook his head.

"It was no problem. I just wanted to make your day brighter." He had been learning sign language, and in the past months proved to be a quick learner. He was near fluent with the basic and intermediate hand signs. I was glad he had learned, for my own signing was becoming rusty. He kept my hands fluent during our colloquy.

I continued to sign.

I am bedridden for a few more days. However, I enjoy your visits very much.

He smiled, his brown eyes crinkling as his lips curved up. He ran a hand through his dark hair before signing again.

The feeling is mutual. However, I have to get to my post soon. May I visit later?

I nodded quickly and smiled. Any visits were much appreciated, even if they were brief and fleeting. I had not been able to do much, for my systems were still recovering from the virus that hit my body. At least, that's what Doctor McCoy had told me when I tried to bargain with him to let me out earlier than planned. Arguing with that guys was fruitless and sometimes aggravating. I had also taken note that his accent grew more apparent when he was irritated.

Thank you for the plant again.

I was so engrossed in my signing that I didn't realize Spock had walked in. Completely silent, if I may add.

"Hello commander, I was just leaving for my post."

Spock nodded curtly but said nothing as Sulu passed him. Something flashed across his Vulcan features, but I couldn't catch it. He took a seat next to my bio bed.

"Good afternoon Stella. Are you feeling better?" He asked, and I smiled.

"It seems you are quite good in sign language. Communication in such a way could make it easier in the lab for us to work together." He offered, and I cocked my head. Why would he promote that option now, after we have worked together for weeks? My eye brows furrowed before I grabbed a nearby note pad and pencil.

Why have you made this notion now? Do you know how to sign?

He nodded before explaining.

"I am familiar with the language as of late; Lieutenant Uhura enlightened me with the form of communication. I apologize for not making the notion earlier, as I was not confident you were familiar with sign language."

I nodded, suddenly feeling excited. Someone else besides Sulu and Uhura; someone who I could easily talk to! I smiled from ear to ear, and I could have sworn I saw his own mouth flick up. His little portrayals of emotion made me slightly uneasy though. I knew Vulcans were supposed to shadow the emotion they felt, to conceal the feelings beneath the surface of a calm and clever face. The moments when his lips curved up or when his eyes flickered with an unidentified sentiment were rare but apparent. I could not help but twitch my fingers in a cautious state.

He lifted his hands and began to sign.

I am not completely fluent in the language. Please redress me if I do not sign correctly.

I watched his long fingers sign and I smiled, still in a daze that he knew the language and I could sign with him. No more nodding!

Yes, I will. You have no idea how happy I am, now that I do not have to write on paper.

He stared at my own hands intently, trying to read the motions and comprehend them before responding accordingly.

I am glad you are pleased with this advance. It will be much easier to communicate in the lab.

I nodded and then my thoughts were reminded of the plant, still in the lab.

Yes. Speaking of which, have you made any advances while studying the cactus?

He nodded.

The poison that entered your system was transferred through your skin when you touched the plant. The results on your body were quite severe.

I cocked my head

What results?

The poison caused a hormonal imbalance in your central nervous system. Had the antidote not been created, the symptoms could have fatal

I watched Spock sign, and I slumped back into the hospital bed. I could have died, but he saved me. It rattled me that the plant that seemed so trivial had such an effect on my body. That one foreign plant could cause so much harm as to make me bedridden in a hospital.

Thank you.

There is no need to thank me. It was the only logical option in the situation.

I smiled, glad that despite the flashes of emotion I had seen from him, he was still the logical commander I had known.

"Well lieutenant, you can be discharged tomorrow evening, once the chemicals in your blood stream are completely stable." Doctor McCoy walked in, carrying a PADD. He glanced at Spock. "Spock I recommend you leave for a bit so she can get some rest."

I scowled before signing vigorously at Spock. I didn't want to be confined here anymore, and perhaps the logical reasoning from Spock would convince McCoy to release me.

Please tell him I do not want to be here anymore, and that I want to go to work. I feel perfectly able.

Spock seemed slightly torn between listening to the doctor or me. After a second, he looked at me.

I promise you may work as soon as the doctor sees you fit for duty. Until then, you must rest. I must return to the bridge as of now, I will come back later in the day.

He signed before saying good bye to the doctor and leaving. The doctor shook his head and I scowled. I thought he would at least take my side on this, considering he was just talking to me and I felt perfectly healthy. I flopped back onto my pillow and watched as Doctor McCoy examined the monitor and typed on the PADD.

"You and that hobgoblin better not have been talkin' about me."

I smiled before shaking my head. He returned a small smile before taking the seat next to my bed that was previously occupied by Spock. Over the past 50 hours stuck in the room, he had become more gentler with me, but of course not any more lenient with the date of my release. He smiled at me more, his brown eyes softer when he looked at me and less stern when I kept a visitor too long. I felt like we had a friendship built on the fact that I was stuck in the med bay and our playful fights about when to let me out, how many tubes he put in me or how many pills he made me take.

His grin faded into a serious look.

"I've read your file, Stella."

I was more confused than nervous, but the uneasiness was back but with a more ominous underside. If this was going where I thought it was, I wanted to steer it away from the path it was on.

"We have therapy sessions available to crew members. I want you to try one, and-"

I cut him off with the wave of my hand. He frowned, dark eyes stern as I grabbed a pad of paper and scribbled on it. He sighed deeply as he read it.

I understand, however I am doing much better since six years ago. The only reminder is the loss of my voice. I try to talk but I can't.

I twiddled my hands nervously as he stared at me, as if trying to scrutinize me. As if trying to put me together. But I was missing pieces and I didn't wan him delving into a private matter.

A few silent moments passed between us before I grabbed the pad of paper and slowly wrote.

I try but I just can't.

He read it and looked at me again.

"I'm sorry Stella. But people do get their voices back after traumatic events. I want you to reconsider." He stood up, and I nodded slowly. I wasn't sure I was going to, and the look on his face told me he knew that too.

I swallowed thickly before turning to the side and pressing the button several times to increase the amount of medication I was on. McCoy looked on from his PADD, a slight look of disapproval mixed with concern. We both knew I shouldn't be using so much of it, but I didn't care what either of us though for the time being. I needed it.

Shortly after, sleep claimed me, and I was claimed by exhaustion and swimming thoughts.

My lack of voice caused several fights between my mother and I. Constantly between us it was "Why can't you just talk?" And "You are just making this harder for me! I can't lose both my daughters."

It would infuriate me. She thought it was about her, and not about her actual daughter that had killed herself. I missed it. My mother missed it. My sister was depressed and lonely and I had failed to help her. I was too late.

When I first found her hanging from the wooden beam on the ceiling, I didn't think it was her.

It was just another girl with the same chestnut hair only a little lighter than my own, the same flannel shirt I bought her for Christmas, the same black shoes she bought for me but always wore herself. Then it hit. So hard that the air was stolen from my lungs and I violently hit the floor. I didn't scream, yell, and cry. I dialed 911 as quickly as I could, my fingers fumbling for the numbers on my cell phone. I was hyperventilating as I heard the voice.

"You've reached the national emergency line, what is your emergency?" I heard a female voice say calmly. I didn't say anything before she repeated it.

"What is your emergency?"

I sucked in a shuddery breath.

"Help." The last word I ever said, before the phone slipped from my hand and I grabbed at her. I up righted the chair and jumped on it quickly and clumsily before trying to untie the rope with weak hands. It had taken an effort, but I had done it. I sat on the floor hugging my baby sister before the ambulance arrived and they took her away from me.

I know the ending was quite depressing, and I promise that this will probably be the last of the suicide talk. Stella will be getting her voice back soon and the story will be more up beat and more Spock-Stella moments. I plan to have some action coming up and more connection with the actual story line. I'm sorry if anyone seems out of character, please tell me if I did something wrong! Thanks so much for reading my story, and I have several chapters that will be put up soon!