Abigail Griffin rushed out the door balancing her coffee in one hand and a stack of folders in the other, then turned back. "Have a good day, Clarke!" she called up to her daughter, who was just tumbling out of bed.
She was always rushing out the door of their house. When she took the time to think about it (which, admittedly, was just this side of "never"), Abby wished that she could rush into their house more. And maybe Clarke would be there, and they could talk about the new school, and their lives, and it would be nice.
But it was just before 9am on a Saturday, and here she was, rushing to the school as always.
Abby could think of better ways to spend a Saturday than an all-day curriculum planning meeting. But things like this were a necessary part of bringing the three schools together.
The transition seemed to be going fairly well, so far. There had been a few fights (more than one involving the same student, a John Murphy), but nothing serious. And teachers weren't reporting major issues in the classrooms, either.
Abby made a mental note to schedule a mixer of some kind, a chance for everyone to get together informally. They'd done one last week after the big announcement, but it would be good to see how people interacted now that school was back in session.
She pulled up at the school, spilled her coffee on her hand, swore, and went inside.
The meeting was fine – Abby was largely able to tune out the details, instead focusing on the interpersonal dynamics at play. She was lost in thought when her phone buzzed. It was Marcus Kane, an old colleague and now an administrator in a neighboring district. "Excuse me," Abby said as she stepped out into the hall.
"Marcus, hi!" she said.
"Abby, it's good to hear your voice," said Marcus. "Say, I was wondering – I'll be over your way later today. Would you want to grab a drink?"
Abby said, "Sure, sounds great! I'm actually at Rosewood High all day today. Want to meet up in Rosewood after my meeting? I saw a place not far from here…"
They made arrangements, and then Abby squared her shoulders and went back in to talk curriculum.
It didn't make sense for her to drive all the way home and change, then go back to Rosewood, so she just showed up a little early in the clothes she'd been in all day. It was more casual than she would have preferred for a drink with an old friend, just jeans, boots and a top, but it would have to do.
Abby spotted the Hollis Bar & Grill and found a good parking spot not too far away. It looked like a decent place to get a glass of wine and some pub food.
She pushed the door open, noting that the place was nearly empty – and then, as her eyes fell on the bartender, she instantly stopped dead in her tracks.
Abby wasn't usually into women, but as the bartender stretched her arms over her head and worked her neck from side to side, she had the fleeting thought that this woman was objectively gorgeous. And she could only see her back! Well, and the way her tank top was riding up as she stretched, showing Abby a hint of caramel skin above her skinny jeans and – was that a tattoo? And her toned arms, and back to those skinny jeans for just a second because damn, and –
"Abby?" The bartender had turned around, and wait, she knew her? And then a lightning bolt of words hit Abby all at once: OHMYGODIT'SRAVEN.
Raven was looking at her funny. She looked shocked to see Abby there, but not nearly as shocked as Abby was. "Are you okay?" She came around the bar and walked over, with genuine concern in her eyes.
Abby finally recovered from the double shock of a) blatantly checking out a random woman, and b) finding out that it wasn't a random woman, it was Raven for crying out loud! She shook her head. "I'm good," she said, surprised by how husky her voice sounded. She cleared her throat. "I think my eyes were just adjusting to coming in from the sun."
Now that Raven was right in front of her, she didn't seem to know what to do. She was still looking at Abby, but now she fidgeted with her hands in that way she always seemed to, starting to put them in her pockets and then pulling them out again.
"Well…come on in!" Raven said a little too brightly. She retreated behind the bar. Abby pulled up a barstool.
"I didn't know you worked here," Abby began, at the same time Raven asked, "What can I get for you?"
"I just started," said Raven, at the same time Abby said, "Do you have a cabernet?"
They laughed. Raven pointed at Abby as if to say "You go first."
"My turn?" said Abby with a smile. Raven nodded. "So the other day when you said you had a new job, this was it?" Abby said.
Raven nodded again.
"You can speak now," Abby said. "I'm done talking over you."
Raven grinned. "I'm pretty sure I was talking over you."
"Are you even 21?" Abby blurted.
Raven pretended to count on her fingers. "Carry the 8…yep, the math checks out. I just turned 21 over the summer. Which means–" she gestured at the bar behind her – "that I can serve you one of these delicious libations, if you'd like."
Abby checked her watch. "I'm meeting someone, but I'm a little early. Maybe I'll just have a glass of the cab while I wait."
Raven poured her a generous glass. "Home pour for my home slice," she said as she slid it in front of Abby.
"I could pretend like I knew what that meant," Abby said. "But I think we'd both know I was lying."
"That's okay," said Raven. "Half the time I don't know what I'm saying." They smiled at each other, and Abby felt a familiar tug that she ignored.
The door opened. Abby turned. "Marcus!" she said. She rose from her barstool and gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "Abby, so wonderful to see you!" he said.
He pulled up the stool next to her. When Abby turned back, Raven was suddenly a mile away at the other end of the bar. "Excuse me, miss?" said Marcus. "Could I please see a drink menu?"
Raven pointed to the bar behind her. "That's what's on tap, that's our wine selection, or I can make you a drink with anything up here," she said (a bit brusquely, Abby thought).
"I'll just have a pint of the seasonal amber," Marcus said. When Raven handed him his drink, he said, "Abby, would you like to sit at a table so we can talk?" Abby shrugged in agreement, and tried her hardest not to look back at Raven as they walked over to a table.
She failed.
And for several minutes, as she tried valiantly to make small talk with Kane, her mind was drawn over and over again to the look on Raven's face as she walked away.
It was good catching up with Marcus again, Abby told herself. It had been a long time since she'd gotten to sit down with another adult and just…talk. (And a long time since she'd spent more than an hour, socially, with a man.)
But unfortunately, she was facing the bar, and her eyes kept drifting over to the lovely young woman behind it.
She saw Raven greeting each patron who came through the door with a smile and, often, a quip. (That told Abby she was making the effort to get to know the regulars, with her usual charm.)
She saw how Raven smoothly moved along the entire length of the bar, pouring drinks, deftly refilling glasses, joking with the crowd as more and more people came in for the evening.
And she saw (but pretended not to see) how Raven's eyes kept darting over to where Abby sat. Not in a "Does your drink need freshening?" way (they had a server for that), but in an "I know how you're feeling and yes I feel it too and yes it's confusing and what are we going to do?" kind of a way.
At least, that's how Abby would have thought of it. If she were thinking of it.
Which she most definitely wasn't.
"…things at Rosewood High?" Marcus was saying.
"Hmm?" said Abby. "Oh – you know, they're not too bad overall. Frankly, I expected more scuffles among the various factions. But it's actually been pretty smooth so far."
"That's good," said Marcus. "Due, no doubt, to their astute leader." He raised his glass in a silent tribute.
"Oh, I don't know about that," said Abby, waving away the compliment.
They carried on a friendly conversation for a while, until Marcus looked at his watch and said, "Well, I should probably get going."
"Are you sure?" said Abby. (She wanted to stay at the Hollis Bar & Grill, for reasons she couldn't even articulate to herself yet.)
Marcus nodded, thoughtfully. "Abby – it was good to see you." He gripped her hand for a moment. "If you need a friend to talk to – I'm always here for you."
Abby stood up and gave Marcus a hug. It had been a pleasant couple of hours with an old friend.
On his way out, she saw Marcus settle up with their server. When she came by their table next, she said, "Oh, your man friend already took care of everything. So you're all set here." Abby smiled, grateful for Marcus's generosity. She got up to leave…
…but some force she couldn't name, the cabernet or perhaps something stronger, compelled her to grab a seat at the less-crowded end of the bar.
When Raven's eyes met hers, quickly scanned for Kane, and realized Abby was alone, she smiled. Actually, it was more of a smirk. And Abby quickly realized she was out of her depth as Raven slowly made her way over, leaned over the bar, and said quietly, "What else can I get for you tonight, Abby?"
Abby gulped. "Um…I guess…another glass of the cab?" Raven smiled knowingly.
As the night wore on, people filtered out of the Hollis Bar & Grill.
But Abby stayed.
She stayed, and she drank.
She stayed, and she watched.
She stayed, and she talked to Raven.
At one point, Abby asked, "You never told me when you were in my office the other day: Do you still like fixing things?" Raven was a little way down the bar, refilling a drink for one of the few patrons left, and she came closer. "Fixing things?" Raven said.
"Yeah," said Abby. "I remember…you used to talk about fixing things. You and your dad."
Raven got a wistful look in her eye. "He taught me everything I know." She threw a quick look over her shoulder to make sure no one needed her, then leaned on the bar. "I used to take things apart, then try to put them back together so they worked even better than before. I would do it with anything that had mechanical parts: a bike, a toy, didn't matter."
Abby smiled, listening. Raven never opened up like this anymore. Not to her.
Raven chuckled a little then. "I remember one time, my aunt gave me a music box when she was visiting. I spent all afternoon up in my room, taking it apart, figuring out what made the notes work the way they did."
She grinned and looked right at Abby then, pure mischief. "When I came downstairs and proudly showed them how I'd reworked it to play Highway to Hell, my aunt was horrified!"
Abby burst out laughing. "You didn't!"
"Oh honey, I so did," said Raven. Then she got quiet. "My mom was kinda mad too. But my dad…my dad thought it was the greatest thing ever."
Abby smiled at her, resting a hand on top of Raven's on the bar. "He was really proud of you, you know. I only met him a couple of times, but it was obvious."
Raven curved a thumb over the back of Abby's hand and stroked it absently as she looked down. "Thanks."
Then Raven seemed to realize what she was doing and pulled away, straightening up and looking around to see what needed tending to. She pulled out her phone and checked the time. "Abby, it's almost closing time. Do you want me to call you a cab…or do you mind sticking around for a few minutes while I close up? You know I'm going your way anyway, and I don't cost nearly as much as an Uber."
"A ride would be great," said Abby. She could figure out how to get her car in the morning. She didn't have to be at work for once, and she was dimly aware that that was a very good thing right now.
Abby offered to help, but Raven waved her off. She poured Abby a glass of water, and Abby sipped it while she watched Raven close up.
"Ready?" said Raven. Abby nodded, and together they walked into the cool autumn night.
Raven made sure Abby was safely in the passenger seat before going around to the driver's side. When she got in and buckled up, she grinned at Abby for a second.
"What?" Abby said, unable to stop herself from grinning back.
"Nothing," said Raven, shaking her head. "I just never saw you this way before. It's almost cute what a mess you are."
At that, Abby actually laughed out loud. Then she thought about it and said quietly, "I really am a mess, though. For real."
Out of her eye, she could see Raven biting her bottom lip as she thought about how to respond.
Then Abby felt a hand on her knee. And Raven said, "Nope. You've been through some terrible stuff." She paused, then said more quietly, "But you're the most amazing woman I know."
They rode the rest of the way in silence, Abby's brain playing that last sentence back on an infinite loop. Raven eventually had to move her hand to steer around a curve, and the spot where she'd held Abby's knee felt cold in her absence.
When they got to the Griffins' house, Abby almost invited Raven in for a drink. The words were on her lips – but somehow she knew this wasn't the right time. So she fumbled getting her keys out of her purse, and Raven laughed and said, "Okay, drunkie, I'll make sure you can get your key in the front door, but you're on your own from there. Got it?"
Raven put the car in park and waited for Abby at the front of the car. They walked up the front walk and, true to her word, Raven made sure Abby got her keys in the door and unlocked it.
Then she said (while doing that nervous thing with her hands again), "Okay, so –"
And Abby kissed her.
She did it without preamble, without conscious thought.
She did it because Raven was kind, and brave, and let's face it pretty damn hot.
She did it because just for that one moment, all the reasons it was a terrible idea just seemed so…unimportant.
She just stood on her tiptoes, put a gentle hand on Raven's arm to steady herself, and kissed her.
To Abby, it felt like waking up, or maybe even like coming back to life. She could smell Raven's conditioner mixed with the alcohol smells of the bar, could feel her tight abdominal muscles where Abby's other hand fisted in her shirt, could taste her lips as Abby's moved against her. She felt liquid heat pool in her belly. She wanted this.
And Raven did not kiss her back.
This thought dawned on Abby with the subtlety of a thunderclap, and suddenly she stepped back, horrified.
"Abby–" said Raven, reaching for her hand. But Abby gasped, "I'm so sorry," ran into the house and shut the door.
She could hear Raven frozen on the other side of the door, and then a minute later she heard her car pull out of the driveway.
She went to bed, shaken and fully aware that she would relive every part of tonight over and over tomorrow.
So, as it turned out, Abigail Griffin did run into her house that night.
Just not in a way she would ever have imagined.
Next chapter: Lexa! (Or, I try to tackle being emotionally distant yet relatable)