I wake to Tobias getting out of bed. He goes into the bathroom and comes out a few minutes later dressed even though it's only a little before 5 a.m.
"Where are you going?" I ask, sleep still audible in my voice.
"For a run," he says as he kisses my forehead. "Go back to sleep." Staying in bed doesn't sound as enjoyable without having Tobias lying next to me.
"You want some company?" I ask since I'm awake now.
"Sure," he says. I throw on my yoga pants, a racer back tank top, and black running shoes. I tie my hair back in a ponytail and pin all loose hanging hair away from my face with a barrette.
We run a few miles then head to the training room to work out on the punching bags. I suggested some hand-to-hand but I think he's worried about hurting me because he wouldn't even entertain the idea. After about an hour of vigorous jabs and kicks, my body is screaming at me for a shower.
I tell Tobias I'm going back to the apartment and get ready for work. I stay in the shower longer than I mean to, letting the hot water work out all the knots in my muscles but I can't help it, it feels so good. I come out of the bathroom fully expecting him to be waiting to take his shower but he isn't home yet. I wait in the apartment until 8 a.m. then go looking for him.
I head to the training room but it's abandoned. Thinking he went to pick up some breakfast before cleaning up I go to the cafeteria. He's nowhere to be found. I approach our table and ask our friends if they've seen him but they answer no. Now I'm starting to worry. I'm close to the chasm so I check our spot, nothing. I force myself to calm down and check his office but he isn't there either. I've run out of places to look, so I go to my office. I know I'll be able to see him when he passes by.
I pass the time looking at the two lists Tobias found on Saturday. I go back to Tobias' office and pull the personnel file of the first name, Angela Daniels: Candor born, 20 years old, single, fifth rank at 11 minutes 45 seconds, trainer – Amar. All the information about her training and simulations looks normal. I decide to pull my file and compare notes. Before I can open the folder, Tobias walks into my office. He's still in his workout clothes, and he looks frazzled.
"Where have you been?" I anxiously ask. "I looked everywhere for you. Are you okay?" I get up from my desk and go to him.
"There was an incident at the train tracks. A Daniel Parks was injured. I took him to the infirmary." Infirmary! Why didn't I think to check there? "There was a fight, and he was beaten badly. The doctor says there's a chance he won't make it." He sits down on the leather barrel armchair, and I lean against my heavy glass desk crossing my arms across my chest to comfort myself and face him. "I interviewed the witnesses, if you can call them that, and not one of them had anything helpful to say. Two Dauntless members on one. No one had ever seen any of the three before."
"Daniel Parks? Why does that name sound familiar?" He looks curiously at me. Just then the reason the name sounds familiar hits me like a ton of bricks. "Oh, God! Tobias, Daniel Parks in on the first list of names." I turn toward my desk and search for the printed list, and when I find it, I hand it to him. He looks over the list then looks up at me, shock clear on his face.
"Samaire Towne was one of the witnesses. She's on the other list." This instant I know we have a storm brewing in Dauntless.
"Why don't you go home and get cleaned up. I'm going to get Tori and get her up to speed. When you're done, meet us in your office." He leaves to get cleaned up. After I secure the files I was looking at, I leave my office, and I go to the tattoo parlor and get Tori.
"Hey Tori. We need you early today," I say. "There's something important Four and I need to go over with you."
"Do I have time to finish this tat?" she asks.
"Yeah. Meet me in Four's office."
"I'll be there soon, Tris. I'm almost done." I swing by the cafeteria and pick up two banana nut muffins and two cups of coffee for Tobias and me then head to his office. When I get there, I pull both Daniel and Samaire's files. I eat my muffin and drink my coffee while I look over their information. I compare my simulation data to Daniels. Everything with his simulations look normal. I'll have Tobias look them over to see if he notices anything out of the ordinary. I do notice his instructor was also Amar. Maybe he gave the same warnings and advice to Daniel that he gave Tobias. A few minutes' later Tori walks in. I sit her down and explain what Tobias found on the computer Saturday. I give her the lists, and she looks them over.
"Tori, you helped cover up my aptitude test results. Have you helped anyone else? I'm not asking this question lightly. I realize it's dangerous for any Divergent to let the truth out but something's happening here." I explain about Daniel's assault and the fact that a name on the second list, Samaire, witnessed it. Tori's face goes slack.
"I recognize all the names on both lists, Tris, but I've gotten to know a lot of people from the tattoo parlor," she says. "Yours is the only aptitude test I've ever come across as inconclusive since I've administered the tests."
Tobias walks in a few minutes later and sits down behind his desk. I tell him Tori's caught up while he eats his muffin and drinks his coffee.
"I'm going to get Zeke involved in this since he's in charge of the control room now. I'm going to schedule an afterhours meeting with him at lunch. This is a very delicate situation, especially since we don't know what the lists mean," he says.
"Have you had an update on Daniel's condition?" I ask.
"No. I thought we could leave for lunch a few minutes early and check on him," he replies.
"I think we need a detailed written account of his injuries for our files. I also think we should get written statements from the witnesses," I say.
"I'll take care of that later today," he says. He turns towards Tori. "What's your take on all of this Tori? Max told us to be careful; there are people who sympathize with Erudite here."
"I really don't know, Four," she says. "I know it isn't safe for Divergents because of certain prejudices but I really don't know what to think about these lists."
"I've only had a chance to look at two files from the names on the first list but I found one similarity, they were both trained by Amar. I also looked at Samaire's file. She wasn't trained by Amar, but she was in the same initiate class as Daniel," I say.
"It's a real possibility even though they were in the same class they didn't know each other," Tori says.
"I don't know," Tobias says. "I don't know everyone in my initiate class but there is another coincidence here, Peter. He was in Tris' initiate class, and come to think of it, Eric generated the lists. He was in my class. We need to double check the lists and see if there are any other class matches."
"Tori and I will get on that right after lunch," I say.
"I'm going to keep going through the computer files to see what else I can find," Tobias says.
"I'm going back to the tattoo parlor for the rest of the morning," Tori says. She looks at me and adds, "I'll meet you in your office after lunch."
"See you, Tori. Thanks for making time to talk this morning." She leaves us alone. I get up from my chair and turn to leave but Tobias stops me.
"Tris, come here," he says. I stop and go to him. He pulls me down on his lap and wraps his arms around me. I wrap my arms around his neck, and he holds me close to him
"What is it, Tobias?" I ask after a long while.
"It's been a rough day," he says into my hair.
"How bad was it at the train track?"
"I honestly think they were going to throw him in front of the train if it weren't for the witnesses. That's what happened to Amar." A breath escapes I didn't even know I was holding. This is bringing back painful memories for him, and it makes my heart ache. I kiss the top of his head and hold him even closer.
"I'm sorry, Tobias. Let's go check on Daniel and see how he's doing," I say. He sighs, kisses me briefly, and then lets me up. We take our time walking to the infirmary. I know he's really thinking of Amar right now, and I don't interrupt the silence.
We meet with Daniel's doctor to check on his condition and to request a written account of his injuries for our investigation. He has a broken wrist, broken jaw, broken collarbone, four broken ribs, a concussion, and multiple bruises and abrasions. The doctor is concerned about brain swelling and tells us the next 24 hours are critical. He promises to have a written account for us before supper.
When we leave the infirmary, we decide to go to the cafeteria early for lunch. I'm not surprised when we get there before all our friends. We each grab a plate of baked chicken, green beans, baked potatoes, and apple salad. We forgo the cake for now.
"Four? I'm supposed to go shopping with the girls tonight. Do you want me to cancel?" I'm worried about him. He isn't acting like the Tobias I've come to know and love these past few days.
"No, Tris. You go and have fun with your friends tonight. Why don't you see if Shauna, Ella, Ciara, and Kirsten want to join you? I'm going to grab a drink with the guys after my meeting with Zeke anyway, so they'll be alone." His plans for the night put me on edge. The only time I saw him drinking, I didn't like it. I want to tell him I don't want him to drink tonight but I don't know how to approach the subject. Am I entitled to ask him to stop drinking?
"One drink?" I ask.
"Yeah."
"Okay, I'll ask them when I see them later."
Soon our table is full and the conversation is deafening. I invite Shauna, Ella, Ciara, and Kirsten to join Christina, Marlene, Lynn, and me shopping for dresses tonight, and Tobias arranges the afterhours meeting with Zeke and the boy's night later. Christina's really excited about tonight and has the boutique mapped out for a strategic shopping trip.
After lunch, I meet Tori in my office, and we go through the first list of names. The only similarity is Amar trained all of the transfers listed except for me. No one's simulation data seems doctored. My file is the only one that has irregularities in it; Tori entered Abnegation manually as my aptitude test result and Tobias erased my second simulation. I wonder how others have hidden their divergence in the past.
We decide to start on the second list tomorrow. Tori goes to her office for the rest of the day to work on assembling the job openings list, and I go to talk to Tobias. I knock on his door.
"Are you ready to check on Daniel and get the doctor's report?" I ask as I walk in.
"Can you come in?" he asks. "Oh, and lock the door behind you." I turn back toward the door and flip the lock. "Have a seat." I sit down, my anxiety level rising. What's he discovered this time? "I found something and for right now it stays between us, understand?" He's sounding more like Four right now than Tobias.
"Okay. What did you find, Tobias?"
"The first list used to have two additional names on it, George Wu and Amar Atwood. Their names were erased the day after each of them died. This is definitely about Divergents, Tris." Amar, Tobias' mentor and George, Tori's brother. I understand why he wants to keep it between us. He comes around the desk and stands before me. I stand up and wrap my arms around his waist and rest my head on his chest. His heart rate increases as I tighten my arms and draw my body closer to his. He rests his chin on top of my head then sighs. He pulls back and looks in my eyes.
"You are the most important thing to me … now and forever. Promise me you'll be careful. I cannot…" He stops abruptly and takes a deep breath. "I will not lose you." A severe look crosses his face and his lips smash against mine in a need-filled kiss. I return his kiss with just as much want. I put all the stress of this day into the kiss. I break away from him only because I'm in desperate need of oxygen. I stare deeply into his dark blue eyes as I pant and get momentarily lost.
"I promise to be careful but you must promise me the same thing. I can't live without you because my heart belongs to you now. Without you, it'll break," I say placing his hand over my heart, emotion thick in my voice. "Are you sure you're okay, Tobias? I'm worried about you."
"Don't worry about me, Tris. I'll be okay. Just a lot of memories flooding back today, memories I'd rather forget."
"You can talk to me about anything you know."
"I know," he says but he doesn't elaborate. Instead he says, "Let's go get that report."
There's been no change in Daniel's status. The doctor gives us a report on his condition and a list of his visitors. I didn't know Tobias had asked for that. We take the reports to his office and lock them away for the night.
After supper Christina, Marlene, Lynn, Shauna, Ella, Ciara, Kirsten, and I go to the boutique to shop for formal dresses for Saturday's party. After today's excitement and stress, the party is the last thing on my mind, and I have to force myself to have a good time but I can't fool Christina.
"What's wrong, Tris?" she asks, studying me carefully.
"It's been a long, stressful day. Honestly, I wanted to cancel tonight but Four thought I could use a night out with the girls. Plus he's having a boy's night with Zeke and the guys."
"Does it have anything to do with that guy taken to the infirmary this morning?" I know I can't reveal all the details but it feels good to talk about it. Rumors are already spreading about the incident by the train this morning.
"Yeah. A fence worker got badly beaten. He might not make it, and there aren't any suspects. I don't think Four and I thought we'd be dealing with something like this, especially so soon." The words rush out of me.
"Four was right you know," she says to me. "You need to balance the stress with some fun. Now let's find you a gorgeous dress that'll make Four's eyes pop out of his head and some new clothes. No offense but you've been wearing the same three outfits for days."
"That's because nothing fits me anymore. Everything is too small." She just laughs at me and pulls me into a dressing room where she throws dress after dress at me to try on. Once I find the perfect one, she starts in with jeans, pants, shirts, and then jackets. The torture ends with shoe shopping. By the time I leave the boutique, I have a whole new wardrobe fit for a Dauntless leader. I have to admit the shopping took my mind off of the events of the day. I say goodbye to Christina and the girls and take my purchases to Tobias' apartment. I pile them by the couch, except for the dress. I hang the garment bag on the back of the closet door.
I'm not expecting Tobias home anytime soon so I get ready for bed and lie down on the couch with a book from his bookshelf. It really doesn't hold my attention and soon I fall asleep. I'm woken up by loud noises coming from across the room. Tobias is stumbling through the door, which opened so hard it dented the plasterboard wall. I knew drinking wouldn't be good for him tonight. He can barely stand. He tries to put a sentence together but all his words are slurring together into childish gibberish. He gets his arms around me, trying to kiss me, and puts his hands where they're not welcome. His actions and foul-smelling breath are a huge turn off.
"Tobias. No," I say, pushing his hands away. "Get into bed. We'll talk in the morning." He attempts another sentence but I have no idea what he's trying to communicate. I take him by the arm, he leans heavily against me to steady himself, and I lead him to the bed. I already had it turned down for the night, so I sit him down on the edge and push him back to lie down. All the time his lips are trying to find mine and his hands are roaming where I don't want them to.
"Four! No!" I shout, slapping his hands. A hurt and confused look crosses his face. "Go to sleep. I'll see you tomorrow." I throw the covers over him, make sure I have my key, and turn out the light. He's a big boy, he can take care of himself.
I leave his apartment and wind my way down to the Pit. It's late, and I don't encounter many people. I take the little dirt path down to the bottom of the chasm, sit on a rock, and watch the water rush by until I can no longer see past the tears. I don't like Tobias drunk let alone plastered. He isn't himself when he has alcohol in his system. I realized that the first time I saw him drunk. I'm going to have to be brave and tell him.
Once the tears are dry, I go to the dorm hoping everyone's asleep. I take a deep breath, readying myself for questions, then I open the door. Luck is with me tonight, no one seems to notice me slip into my bunk. I sigh a little. I never thought I would sleep here again. Soon exhaustion takes me, and I spend a dreamless night missing Tobias' arms around me.