CHAPTER 87

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THE AFTERMATH OF THE STORM

It had only been a day since I had found out, after finally having been released from Missy's Matrix slice, that Rose and the Doctor had been trapped in an unknown universe at the end of their final battle with Nightshade, but it already seemed like an eternity to me. After all, I was the one who had to live with the fact that my daughter was lost who knows where because she had come to rescue me.

Rose was trapped because of my stupidity in getting myself caught!

She wasn't going to stay lost forever though. I had found her once before when I had lost her, and I would again. Nothing was going to keep me from her again. Nothing.

I wouldn't let us lose any more time together. I just wouldn't. I honestly don't think that my hearts could take it if that happened to me again.

I would probably become Sekhmet forever and never return if I ever thought that I would really never see her anymore.

I was now back on my TARDIS where I was working on the Matrix slice containing the souls of the dead that had been recovered from Missy's TARDIS. I had been using Seb, who had changed sides during the fight, to slowly offer all of the trapped people a choice as to where they went to next. Amazingly many people actually chose to stay in the Matrix, perhaps because their time was now long past, which was why I was now working on it so that I could improve on the reality there to make it more happy and fulfilling.

While I was doing that, I was also keeping Holly's mind safe in my own portable mini Matrix until I could come up with a way to give her a body back once again. I was already working on using her DNA to slowly clone her a new body that would be completely human once more even as I tinkered with Missy's Matrix slice.

"Mum, stop it!" Allison suddenly shouted from behind me breaking me out of my self-pity party.

"Stop what?" I asked feigning innocence.

"You know what. Stop blaming yourself for what happened to Rose and the Doctor. Missy and Nightshade were both determined to go after them no matter what. If they hadn't used us to lure Rose into a trap, then they would have just found some other way to draw her in. It was going to happen anyway no matter what. At least she's alive somewhere. It could have been so much worse," Allison said.

"Well, let's see now. Rose and the Doctor are missing who knows where, the universe's very structure has been tampered with causing many people to lose their powers, poor Cassiopeia is now trying to take her dad's place despite having both of her hearts torn in two, and Bella is dead yet again thanks to the Black Guardian who was behind the whole thing all along. Oh, and the Matriarch is still on the loose somewhere and probably planning on striking back against us at any time now. Am I missing anything? Yes, it could have been worse but not by much, Ally," I said with a frown.

"You're not the only one who blames themselves for what happened you know. If you want to play the blame game, I can easily one up you. If I hadn't accidentally killed Holly in the first place, then Missy could never have used her to capture us could she?" Allison said in a tone filled with regret.

"That wasn't your fault. You couldn't have known how your device would affect Holly," I said in a gentle voice.

"Yes, it was my fault because I was arrogant, Mum. I was so full of myself that I actually believed that I could be you and save the day. Would you have made the same mistake, Mum? Be honest with me now," Allison said.

I sighed as I said, "No, I wouldn't have. That's only because I've been around a long time though, and I have much more experience at this sort of thing than you do. You were doing the best that you could, Allison, and you were not being in any way arrogant. You stepped up to the plate because you were the only one who could help at that particular moment. You have nothing to blame yourself for . . . at all. Do you hear me?"

Allison nodded smiling a little but still not looking as though she really believed it as she said, "You did the best that you could do too, Mum. Besides that, Rose knew it was a trap. She wasn't stupid. She knew and she still came anyway because she wanted to save not only us but the entire universe. You and I both had nothing to do with it in the end really."

"Do you really believe that, Allison?" I said knowing full well from the look on her face that she didn't.

She frowned as she said, "My head does but my heart is a different story."

"Same here," I said with a momentary smile as I embraced her.

"Is Holly's new body ready yet? Skaren just keeps asking me about her. He looks so lost without her," Allison suddenly said as she deliberately changed the subject.

"It shouldn't be too much longer now. I actually had to take a loose piece of hair from Holly's comb in order to clone her. There was just nothing left of her original body to use. Not one cell. No wonder she couldn't reform herself. It's taking me longer to clone her than it did with Aishwana because I'm trying to return her DNA back to normal and make her fully human once more. It's much harder than I thought that it would be because her molecular structure was severely altered thanks to Madame Kovarian. I would have already found a way to fix her a long time ago if I hadn't had to nearly kill myself in order to save the Zygons. Then again maybe I wouldn't have. I don't seem to be able to help anyone these days after all," I said in a voice filled with pain.

"Mum, please," Allison said with a groan.

"I'm sorry. I know I'm upsetting you but I just can't stop thinking about it. I'm already working on a way to find them you know. I've created a souped-up version of the Time Space Visualizer to help in the search and hooked it up to the TARDIS' computer. I still remember when I first created it a long time ago so that people could watch the events of the past and the future play out right in front of them. Even while we're speaking, the computer is using this new Visualizer to rapidly search through each and every universe for any trace of them that it can find."

Allison gave me an impressed look as she said, "I really have a long way to go before I can even come close to matching you in the genius department, don't I? That's still going to take forever to find her though. There's no telling how many universes it will have to search through before it comes upon the right one."

"It could take centuries or even millennia to come upon the right reality," I admitted in a sad voice.

"Or it could find the right one by sheer chance tomorrow," Robin said in an optimistic voice as he came into the room.

"Since when have I ever been that lucky, Robbie?" I said in a defeated tone.

Both Robin and Allison looked at me like I was mad as Robin said, "I was lost too once, Lily, and I came upon your past self completely by chance, remember?"

I smiled as I said, "That was more a case of history fulfilling itself I think than anything else since to me it had already happened even if I couldn't remember it that well at the time. This is completely different though, Robin. There is no evidence to suggest that the Doctor and Rose will ever be seen again this time."

"There also isn't any evidence to suggest that they won't either. You have to have faith that this isn't the end for them, Lily. You found Rose before when you thought that she was lost forever after all, and it happened when you least expected it. If it happened then, it could happen again," Robin said in an encouraging voice.

I smiled and kissed him as I said, "Thanks for trying to make me feel better, Robin. It really doesn't though. I just got lucky back then and even then I didn't find her for centuries. Who's to say that I'll be that lucky twice though?"

"Allison. Freya. Aishwana," Robin said with a smile on his face.

I smiled back despite myself as I said, "Yes, yes. I see your point. I found Allison and Freya again too, Robin, and Aishwana but that doesn't necessarily mean that Rose will be coming back again too, does it? Maybe the universe won't feel like giving me yet another second chance with her. Maybe one was all that I had. I – I want to believe that you're right but I just . . . It would hurt too much if I allowed myself to believe that, and I turned out to be wrong. After all my parents and my brother certainly haven't come back have they?"

"You told me that you saw her once," Allison reminded me.

"Yes, and I may or may not have been hallucinating at the time. I believe that I wasn't but who knows for sure?" I said.

"I believe that the point that they're trying to make, Mrs. Optimist, is that the universe seems to be giving back more than it takes from you these days, and that you shouldn't be counting Rose and the Doctor out just yet," Ivy said.

I nodded starting to feel hopeful just looking at her as I said, "You're another example of that, aren't you? I thought that you were lost forever too once, and then you were cured from your vampirism and brought back to me. I'm just worried that I've used up all my second chances now I guess. Even I can't go on being lucky forever can I?"

"It seems to me that the universe is making it up to you for all of the long, long centuries that you were completely alone and your life basically sucked, Mum. Maybe it owes you far more than you think," Ron said as his mere presence reminded me that he was yet another person that I had lost and gotten back again.

"I hope so. I really hope so," I said as I tried desperately to hold onto the sense of optimism that my family was slowly reawakening in me.

"What about Bella? Did you ever find her mind in the Matrix slice when she died again?" Violet asked even as she smiled at me knowing that I was already beginning to cheer up.

"No. She wasn't there. I couldn't find a single trace of her. She should have been captured by it again but there was just nothing. I think I know what happened though. When she destroyed herself again it could be that this time that she also wiped out her mind along with the Black Guardian's so that he could never get the chance to return anymore. That's what I would have done if I had been in her shoes after all," I said.

"So she really is gone this time," Violet said sadly.

"I think so, yeah. I miss her too. I was really hoping that I could rescue her," I said.

Then I turned to Robin as I said, "See? I don't always get my second chance do I?"

Everyone glared at Violet who winced while I said, "Don't blame her. I would have thought about Bella eventually anyway even without her pointing it out. Thank you, all of you, for trying to help me though. I really do appreciate it and it did more good than you think. At least I actually feel like talking again anyway so it wasn't a total loss, was it?"

"No, it wasn't and I'm extremely grateful for that too. Even a single day spent not talking to you seems like a lifetime, my lady," Robin said with a grin.

"Oh, so we're back to the 'my lady' jazz again, huh? You always trot that one out whenever you're trying to butter me up. You must have really been desperate to talk to me again, huh?" I said with a warm smile that I was actually feeling this time.

"Indeed I was," Robin said as he switched to his old archaic mode of speaking that he knew that I liked so much.

"Are you sure that you weren't just missing this instead?" I asked as I kissed him.

The others smiled at one another as Allison whispered with a smile, "I know she's going to be okay now if she's flirting."

Suddenly a bell went off and I smiled as I said, "Holly's done."

"You make her sound like you just took her out of the oven," Ron joked.

"I kind of did in a way. I just finished growing her after all," I said.

"Now you sound like Clara and her soufflés," Aishwana said laughing.

I rolled my eyes at them as I proceeded to rush to my lab right away while grabbing my mini Matrix with Holly's mind in it along the way. I noticed Allison following me with a worried look on her face, and I knew that she wasn't going to be happy until Holly was back in one piece once again.

Skaren, Richard, and Freya were already waiting in the lab when I arrived just as they had been for some time now as they waited for the cloning process to finish. Now that it finally had Skaren and Richard both looked up at me with hopeful looks on their faces while Freya held Richard's hand.

Freya and Richard's relationship was so sweet. I was so happy for her that she had finally found someone who made her miss the rest of our family just a little bit less. I just hoped that she wouldn't be too crushed by what I was sure was coming soon once Holly returned.

At least I hoped that Holly was returning anyway. That still remained to be seen of course.

I quickly checked over the clone's genetic structure while Skaren asked, "Is the body alright? Is it stable?"

I smiled reassuringly as I said, "Yes, it's fine. The DNA is completely stable and free of any mutations. The body is also completely human and won't be doing any sudden shape changing anymore. You might be disappointed by that I suppose."

Skaren shook his head as he said, "No, I just want her to be happy, and she was completely miserable at being unable to stay in her original form. My people would have thought that she was insane for wanting to be locked into one body forever, but I can definitely see it from her point of view. Her original body was already perfect as it was after all."

I smiled at him as I said, "Spoken just like a man in love. Don't worry. She's just fine. All I have to do now is finish transferring her mind back to her body."

I then took the mini Matrix in my hands and placed it next to the newly grown body. I touched one hand to each as I began to concentrate. Moments later, Holly's body slowly started to move once again as she began to moan.

"Mum?" Richard asked hopefully.

Holly sat up and smiled as she said, "Yes, it's me, sweetie. I'm okay."

Richard immediately launched himself into her arms, and she hugged him gratefully even as she gave Skaren a kiss. Skaren had a huge smile plastered all over his face now as he swiftly joined Richard in that hug.

I looked away as I felt a stab of pain go through both of my hearts in that moment. I was actually jealous of Holly, and I felt guilty for it because I wanted to be happy for her. I really did.

I couldn't help it though. She was returning to her loved ones after all, and I was still separated from mine.

"Lily, I'm sorry. I hope that you find them soon," Holly said as she apparently realized what I was thinking from the look on my face.

"Thank you," I said sadly as I slowly wandered away from her.

"Lily, are you going to be alright?" She asked me in concern.

"Yeah, I'll be fine," I said as I forced a smile onto my face.

Holly then had her path blocked by Allison who said in a nervous voice, "Holly, I . . ."

She began to cry before she could say anything further which instantly made Holly embrace her as she said in a sweet voice, "Forget what Missy had me saying. That's not how I really felt at all. I never blamed you. Ever. It wasn't your fault. You couldn't have known, okay? There's no possible way that you could have."

"I'm sorry," Allison said.

"I know. I know you are. It's okay, Ally. I'm okay, alright?" Holly said as she continued to smile at her.

Allison finally smiled back after a while, and I knew that she was going to be better after that. At last something was finally going right again.

It was definitely long past time for it.

Finally the two of them separated from one another as Holly said in a hesitant voice, "Lily, there's something that I need to tell you."

I nodded already anticipating what she was going to say as I said, "I think I already know but go ahead."

Holly nodded and then said, "I've had a lot to time to think about it and I . . . I want you to know that I'm really grateful to you for saving me before I go any further."

"I know, Holly. Just tell me, okay?" I said in a gentle tone.

Holly nodded as she said, "I can't keep doing this anymore now that I have a son. I have to stop traveling with you or he'll eventually wind up without a mother for good next time. I'm sorry but that's the way that it has to be."

"What?" Freya said in alarm while Richard looked horrified.

"I'm sorry, honey. I know how much you like being around Richard. I want to go back to the Zygon home world with Skaren though where I'll be safe more or less," Holly said.

"Yeah because it was certainly a safe place recently," Allison couldn't help but comment.

"You know what I mean. Usually it is safe there," Holly said.

"Yes, and it will be again now that I've hopefully finished saving them. Good luck, Holly," I said as I hugged her.

"I can still come and visit, right?" Freya said looking numb.

"Of course you can. You can visit whenever you want," Holly reassured her.

Freya nodded slowly as she said in a heartbroken voice, "Good bye, Richard."

"Good bye, Freya. I won't forget you. I promise," Richard said just as sadly.

Holly looked like she felt like an evil witch out of a fairy tale as she watched the two children sadly let each other's hands go. I smiled at her warmly though to let her know that I understood why she was leaving even if Freya didn't.

As I dropped Holly and her family off back home, Freya immediately ran away with tears streaming down her face. It was her first case of broken hearts, and I knew that it was going to be a hard one.

I wasn't really surprised as I followed her to find out that she was running to Isabella. Isabella had become like a second mother to Freya even since I had found her again, and she always went to her whenever she was troubled about something. It made me glad that Izzy could console her when no one else could, and I really hoped that she could work her magic on her this time.

As I listened at Isabella's door, I could hear Freya pouring her hearts out to her about what had just happened, and then I smiled when I heard Izzy's heartfelt reply.

"Freya, I'm so sorry that you've been split up from Richard, but you won't be lonely forever I promise. You'll find someone else someday. I know you will," Isabella said.

"How do you know that?" Freya asked in a sad voice.

"I know because the same thing happened to me once and then I found Ron. You see it all worked out in the end after all," Isabella said.

I could hear Freya laughing with her not too long after that. I found myself actually being jealous of that too. How could anyone laugh when I was so very heartsick at that moment?

It was petty I knew but I couldn't help how I felt. I missed my daughter so very much.

I even missed the Doctor.

That was when I suddenly got a call from Calliope of all people. She immediately went on to tell me a story that I almost couldn't dare to believe.

After she had finished, I suddenly felt a renewed sense of hope and I said in tears, "Thank you, Calliope. Thank you so much!"

"You know if you keep talking like that I might think that you actually like me, Lily," Calliope said chuckling.

"Today I love you with all of my hearts. If you tell anyone else that I said that, I'll deny it though," I said with heartfelt appreciation in my voice.

Calliope laughed even as she said, "I've never told anyone else that story before but I just had to tell you, Perse, because I know how down you must feel. I'm really glad that I could help."

"You did help, Callie. You really did. Now I feel like I might actually find them again someday. Thank you," I said happily.

What had she told me to make me change my attitude so much you ask? You'll find out soon enough, dear reader, and I think that you can safely believe me when I say that it'll surprise you just as much as it did me. It's definitely an incredible tale of timey wimeyness as the Doctor might say.

It seemed that my family might just be right after all. Then again I shouldn't be too surprised by that. They usually were after all.

Next: As Lily faces the future with a renewed sense of hope once more thanks to Calliope's mysterious story, Isabella gives her even more of a reason to be happy as the baby finally comes at last. Yes, Lily's going to be a grandmother. Plus Lily goes to visit the disgraced former Lord President Borusa in Shada. Why on Earth would she do that and why does Borusa actually seem glad to see her? Plus a very unwelcome appearance by the Matriarch because we all knew that she wouldn't stay away for long.