Chapter 3 - In His Touch

11 years.

11 years, 4 kids, one and a half college educations, a low rent apartment, and finally the house of their dreams that fit all of their needs.

Roman graduated college in May 2006 and went undraft in the 2007 NFL Draft, but was signed by Minnesota Vikings in May 2007 but was let go the same month. 3 months later in August 2007 was signed by the Jacksonville Jaguars only to be released a week later before the 2007 seasons started.

In 2008 he was signed to the Edmonton Eskimos of the Canadian Football League. And by this time Ayana, Braden and Odyn were living with Roman's parents; Lisa and Sika in Pensacola while Roman was in Canada. The year he was gone he had missed his family so much he couldn't bear to think about his boys growing up without their father and he couldn't bear to be away from his wife any longer. Long distance marriages was just NOT the way to go. So by November 2008 Roman was released and he officially retired from his NFL/CFL career.

Over the next year and a half, he worked with his twin cousins Jimmy and Jey Uso at a huge warehouse putting together office furniture on a nightly basis; on the weekends he was a bouncer at a bar.

Meanwhile Ayana was doing online courses on the computer. It only took her two years to get her degree and then she opened her own business working from home doing payroll for small companies around Pensacola.

In July 2010, Roman got signed to a developmental deal with WWE's training center FCW to start training to be a professional wrestler. His dad and Uncle Afa had been training him in their ring and his sons loved to watch him working so hard in the ring. He would have them get in the ring afterwards and he'd mess around and play with them. That was when Ayana loved Roman the most when he was at his silliest and entertaining their babies. She loved watching him train so hard to carry on the wrestling tradition for the family.

She was never really sure how their timing got to be so perfect but every two years she was pregnant with another addition to the family. Roman grew up with a big family and he wanted the same with Ayana. She'd gotten pregnant again 3 years after Samaria but it ended in heartbreak when she miscarried twins. Both she and Roman were heartbroken over the loss of two babies in 2012.

2012 was a half sad year with the loss of the twins, but it ended on a good note when Roman was called up from FCW to the main roster at WWE. He was officially a professional wrestler and in a stable with two other men; Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins. Together they made up The Shield. They were one of the biggest forces in WWE in a long time. The last big stable having been Degeneration X; who made a HUGE impact on professional wrestling.

By June of 2014, the Shield disbanded and Roman was no working on his singles career. Ayana couldn't have been happier for him. At the end of September 2014 the night before their Night of Champion's the hernia he'd gotten years prior from football got incarcerated. He was in Nashville, Tennessee at the time when he was rushed to the hospital to have emergency surgery.

Ayana had left the kids with Lisa and Sika and took a red eye flight out. It sucked because he would be out for 9 to 16 weeks, but on the upside the kids got to see him for 3 months straight before he went back at the end of December 2014 and surprised the crowd at the TLC PPV when he interfered between his ex-brethren Seth Rollins match against John Cena; helping Cena pick up the win. And started back on the traveling roster.

Through all of that Ayana was by his side. She loved to watch him in the ring on Monday nights and Friday Night Smackdown; which had recently been changed to Thursday nights. She allowed the kids to stay up on Monday nights just long enough to watch Roman's matches or segments, but if it was past 10, she would DVR it so they could watch it when they got home from school on Tuesdays. Roman was home Wednesday and Thursdays and would sit with them to watch Smackdown. Then his work week would start up on Friday again.

He had two days off a week like any normal worker, except his work took him around the states and sometimes around the world. The traveling kicked his ass sometimes but he always made time for the kids when he got home. If he didn't get his days off because of Media interviews or traveling across the Atlantic Ocean to the other countries he made sure to make time to call and talk to everyone or he'd Skype them to see all the loving faces that missed him.

"Hey...what has you in such a deep thinking trance?" A voice pulled Ayana from her thoughts.

The deep blue eyed woman looked over at Nala Ambrose who'd become one of her very best friends since Roman and Dean started training together in FCW and then moved up the roster to the Shield. Nala owned her own Salon, but it was definitely not your average beauty salon. More often than not she was dying someone's hair funky colors; whatever their little hearts desired really and piercing their lip, nose or cheek...or sometimes all three. Her salon was called Cabalistic. Her motto was 'I deal with the strange and mysterious' and whatever you want your hair too look like; she'll do as long as you are willing to pay.

Ayana looked down at the salon lady was painting her toenails red to match her fingernails. She looked back up at Nala before she shook her head. "I don't even know where to begin." She stated softly.

Nala got the ladies to finish their pedicures as they paid and left. They drove down the street until they got to Nala and Dean house. The girls walked through the house to the doors that went to the den. Nala grabbed a couple of beers as she opened them and handed one to Ayana as they sat on the L shaped couch. "Talk woman."

Ayana frowned. "I know this is going to sound really personal."

"And I don't care. I'm an open book and you know it." Nala pointed out.

"How often do you and Dean...ya know..." Ayana tried asking. Damn this was harder than she anticipated. "Oh Christ I can't believe I'm asking you this." Feeling very embarrassed.

"Jesus Christ woman ask me already!" Nala demanded.

"HowoftendoyouandDeanhavesex?" Ayana rushed it out as fast as she could.

Nala's pale blue eyes looked at her friend. "I'm sorry Speedy Gonzalez you wanna slow that down and enunciate a little?"

Ayana sighed heavily as she took a sip of her beer. "How often do you and Dean have sex?" The mother of four questioned one of her best friends.

"Girl me and Dean are naked more on his days off than he is when he's on the road. His body is my temple and I worship it every chance I get." Nala blinked. "Though I'm sure there's more to this than you asking about our sex life so what gives?"

Nala watched as Ayana frowned again. It was very uncharacteristic of Ayana to frown. Weather her kids were driving her bonkers or she was spatting with Roman; she never frowned. Nala set her beer on the coffee table as she moved over and sat next to Ayana. "Talk to me Aya, what's going on."

Ayana's deep blue eyes filled to the brim with tears. "I'm cheating on my husband. I'm cheating on Roman...And I know he's cheating on me too."

Nala's mouth fell open. Actually it opened and closed several times before she reached over and grabbed her beer and downed it; pinching the bridge of her nose she looked at Ayana. "You're serious aren't you? You are really serious?" The pale blue eyed beauty asked quietly; almost as if Roman and Dean were standing in the same room and would over hear them.

Ayana nodded as tears slipped silently from her eyes and slid down her cheeks. She reached over and grabbed a tissue as she wiped her eyes. "I know what my excuse is; I just don't really know what his is, but I guess I can speculate."

"S-S-So do I...Do I know who it is? The umm...Ya know, the guy you are..." Wow if she thought it was hard to hear her best friend was screwing around on her husband it was even harder for her to ask who it was.

"You mean who am I sleeping with? AJ Styles."

"AJ FUCKIN STYLES?" Nala screeched. "You had sex with one of Roman's co-workers? How the fuck did that come about?" Now she was curious.

"We ran into each other about 5 months ago; I never realized when him and his wife separated he moved into the condos that were 3 blocks down from our house. At the same time he started his talks with getting signed to WWE. I was extremely hesitant to do anything with him a first. One thing led to another and he kissed me and - and - and it curled my toes. Hell, it curled everything in my body." Ayana answered honestly.

"So you said you know he is cheating - do you know who with?" Nala asked even more curious.

"No, he's actually smart enough to not save her name with her number on his cell, but he wasn't smart enough to delete the text messages. And I'm almost certain it's a Diva. She always sends him the same message on Thursday night when he's in the shower before bed. 'Can't wait to see you tomorrow' A little shitty heart and a capital S. You know Love your Succubus Slut." Ayana stated in a voice dripping with disdain.

Nala's eyes widened. "Don't you think he should be allowed to cheat since you are?"

Ayana nodded her head as a fresh batch of tears filled her eyes again. "Absolutely, I just wish whatever he was doing with her; he'd do with me."

It was Nala's turn to frown. "What do you mean sweetie? He's your husband why wouldn't he do that with you?"

"When I can answer that then I will be able to answer a million other women in the world age old questions of 'What does she have that I don't?' or 'What happened between us?' or 'Do you even still love me?' or even 'How did I drive you away?' or 'Am I really so grotesque that you can't even touch me anymore?'...believe me these are all the same questions every woman asks themselves when they find out their man is screwing around with someone who isn't them. I just wish I had more answers than I do questions."

"How the hell do you find time to romp around with AJ Styles, who by the way is now on the road with your husband full time?" Nala questioned.

"He comes home Tuesday after the Smackdown taping so after I drop the kids off for school on Wednesdays I stop by, get my fill of what I need and he gets the same and then by the time I pick the kids up at 3, Roman s home and normally he's ordered take out and the night finishes with him spending the remainder of the night catering to the kids before he comes to bed and basically passes out before I can get naked." Ayana explained.

Ayana shook her head negatively. "Whoever she is; she's been wearing his ass out on the road. It's like he has to come home to recoup from the fuckin he gives her or she takes from him." She sighed heavily. "If her text messages are any indication, I'm pretty sure I started cheating on him before he started cheating on me. It still doesn't hurt any less."

"You said you had your reasons and he had his?" Nala inquired.

"After the miscarriage of the twins in 2012; I swear I could feel a change between us. I know I was depressed a lot and I knew he was too, but we were both coping with it different ways." Ayana chewed her bottom lip. "Nala, in another month it will have been a year and a half when everything stopped between us."

"Everything stopped? What do you mean; what stopped?"

"Everything." Ayana could feel the tears sliding down her cheeks once more. "He hasn't physically touched me in almost a year and a half. We haven't had sex in a year and a half. I get half ass kisses on the cheek, temple and side of the neck; like my lips literally have the black plague an if he kisses me it's going to end his life. I even tried to surprise him one night and was completely naked in bed when he came to bed. He laid down on his side facing away from me and seriously five minutes later he was snoring. When I did that 5 years into the marriage we got no sleep because we were up making love all night long. We have four beautiful children and he is the best father in the world. But I feel like I'm just the mother of his kids and I take care of them and wash his dirty clothes when he's home from the road and I don't even serve a purpose anymore. Whoever he's banging on the road she gets the fun part of my husband that I used to get." She buried her face in her hands as she sobbed.

"I - I don't know what happened and I don't know how to fix it. I'm losing my husband because I guess I'm not sexy anymore. I guess after four kids and a miscarriage with twins your body gives way or something." She inhaled a shaky breath as she took a tissue from Nala. "I don't even know how AJ can get an erection with me. After we finish and I get dressed and go home; I sit there and contemplate everything I did with him, everything he said to me, every move he made and every part of my body he effected; just everything he did to me...the way Roman used to..."

"Have you tried talking to Roman about any of this?" Nala asked softly as she wrapped Ayana in her arms trying to comfort her best friend the only way she knew how. She couldn't even think of the same thing happening between her and Dean...it was unfathomable. First off she'd never be able to just share Dean with anyone...NO ONE. and Second if the sex stopped between them she had no clue on how to figure out why it had.

"Every time I try to have any type of serious conversation with him, work calls or his family or someone calls to see if he wants to go to the gym. He makes plans with the kids and he is off and running with them all the time.

"I just want him to touch me again. A simple kiss, a soft caress; something to show me he still wants...me. If I could feel it in his touch I wouldn't ever need AJ again." Ayana stated truthfully.

"Well figure it out...I'll help; I don't know how, but I will." Nala vowed.

She was right.

It was in his touch.