For a second, I'm too stunned to say anything.
- They want make me a judgement? - I answer - And if I'm found guilty, what the sentence will be?
Caleb just looks me.
- Great. That was all I needed. - I say, wearily. This, definitively, is the most stressful day of my life. - It appears that Tori doesn't give up.
- Tris. - Caleb takes my shoulders again - It's your words against hers. There is no evidence. At present, Jeanine's judgement is in everyone's mind.
- What? - I let out. Then I remember my wound girlfriend next to me, and I mentally scold myself for to raise my voice.
Jeanine's judgement. It has to be a joke. Just when I had managed to save her, they want to take her from me again. It has to be a stupid joke.
But it isn't.
Strangely, this time I'm not altered. There isn't uncontrolled anger or devastating desolation. I force myself to take long breaths, closing my eyes.
When I open them, Caleb is looking me uncomfortable.
- Now it doesn't matter.
- Tris, you and Jeanine can be...
- We'll think of something in the future. - I cut him short - Before, answer me something. To whom, supposedly, we would be judged? Marcus Eaton is no longer leader, neither our father. Max is dead, and I think that the Erudite leader will not be able to participate. - A sharp pain twists my stomach. - That lets only two factions working. Not to mention the mysterious group that came out of nowhere e now have us under their control. I don't think that this city is able to execute judgments.
- It is. Jack Khan demands justice, and Joanna Reyes, the end of the conflict. But maybe we may have a chance if the people outside of the fence take power.
A shiver runs down my back.
- No. The people outside the fence should not approach of here for nothing in this world.
Caleb sighs. He knows I'm hiding him things, but he doesn't want pressure me. I thank him mentally. Later, he would know.
- Then, we have only the woman in white and her pacifists. I hope she can do something.
Our conversation ends there. Caleb goes away to leave me alone with Jeanine, but he promises to return in the morning.
I realize that it's been more than fifteen minutes, but nobody came to take me away by force. Nor Angela had appeared. Maybe it was something good.
I return to my place in the chair, beside her. For a moment, I wish that Caleb hadn't gone. Thus, I could vent my sorrows in my brother's shoulder. But I can't allow myself it. Not yet. I still need to fight for my future and Jeanine's. But I wish she were conscious to be by my side.
I start to stroking her blonde hair, hoping she can feel my touch. Maybe she can. I want to believe so.
I lean to kiss her forehead, then her eyes, then her cheek. The mask prevents me from kiss her lips. I stroke her chin and her neck.
- I hope this woman is right, and that all of this compensates all your stupidities, Jeanine Matthews. To me, particularly, it's costing many concerns. - I stroke her cheek again and take her hand - I don't even ask you to change. I don't want you to change. I want you to be yourself. I want to you wake up. Make it worth everything we've been through and wake up, Jeanine. I'll be here when you do. - I approach my face to hers. Although I can't kiss her, the closeness comforts me. - You're as crazy as I am. Don't you dare leave me alone with my madness, you understand?
Then I just fall asleep on her lap.
…
A noise wakes me.
Fighting sleep, I can see a figure slowly opening the door in the dark, and entering the room as quietly as possible. The figure is so silent that surprises me having heard, but quickly I lean on the floor.
The room isn't completely dark. The moonlight comes through the window, illuminating everything very weakly, but even with the dim light I can see, from my hiding, the brightness of a dagger, and my reaction is automatic.
With all the speed of the desperation, I throw myself against the figure. Its moment of surprise is too short, and the figure tries to attack me.
I'm firmly holding the hand with the dagger, attacking with my legs and my left fist, how I had learned in Dauntless.
And then I see the face and recognize the figure.
Evelyn Johnson. Tobias's mother.
My perplexity lasts just two seconds and then it gives way to determination.
I might have failed the first time, but I don't would to fail now. Jeanine don't would be hurt again.
I gather my strength and focus on everything that causes me angrier. I think of Peter throwing me out of the abyss, the reports that Erudite wrote against my former faction, even Evelyn trying to get me away from Tobias. I imagine her, rather than Tori, holding the gun and shooting Jeanine.
It could well have been her. Evelyn hates Jeanine as much as Tori.
And she's holding a dagger with the intention of injuring an unconscious person.
This is enough. My vision becomes red, and I hit my fist with all my strength in her chin. She groans out in pain and lets the dagger to fall on the ground. I catch it in a second.
- I always knew, Tris ... I always knew that you was a traitor. I tried to warn Tobias that you wasn't trustworthy. - she looks Jeanine on the bed, and my protective stance in front of her - This is ridiculous. How is this possible?
- Nothing is impossible, Evelyn. - I mumble, not losing my cool yet - Only what you want. You will never to touch her.
And then the lights come on.
Three white soldiers come into the room. One of them takes the dagger of my hand, and the other two struggle to stop a furious Evelyn.
I'm starting to believe that these guys never come when they are needed.
- By her fault this city is in chaos! And you defends her! You're as despicable as her!
- It's forbidden to shout in hospitals. - I say coldly.
They take her as fast as they can.
I go to the hall to watch while they lead her. I want to be sure she will be as far as possible from Jeanine. I'm beyond the anger, and I just feel a strange coldness through my head. I don't even blink while Evelyn writhes in the arms of her captors, being taken by force to who knows where.
- Can you explain what happened, miss? - asks the third guard, who stayed.
I report to him what happened, and he listens without interrupting. I don't take long.
- We will double the guard, we don't know how Johnson could sneak. We've been looking for her.
I'm about to loose an expletive against the man. "She would not have arrived here if you do your job right." I think.
I will have liked to say, but I don't say. The fight made me, if it's possible, even more emotionally tired than before.
- I'm sorry, but you can't stay longer in the room.
This words reach me like a needle in my chest.
- I'll say goodbye.
- Just one minute.
I go back inside without answering the soldier. Slowly, wanting to record in my memory everything I can of my lover's face, I kiss her hands, taking my time with each finger.
I lean to her ear.
- I Love you. And I will return soon.
Then I leave the room without looking back.
…
I go out of there thinking about finding Caleb.
Finding my brother seems the best option now that I can't be next to Jeanine. Maybe something has changed since the last time we met, and although the changes are happening lately just to worse, it's better know what I will supposedly to face and be prepared.
The corridor is dark. Some Erudites are out there, trying to clean up the mess, trying to save what can be saved from their faction. The hospital ward is full of wounded.
I walk hastily, looking at the people around, trying to find a familiar face.
And then I find. Two very familiar faces. My parents.
In recent days, I've been wondering about this reunion too often. And I had no idea what I would feel at the time. If fear or relief.
Now I know are the two.
My mother is the first to run up to me and embrace me.
- Thank God you're alive! - she holds me in her arms as if she wasn't to let me go ever again - I was so afraid of something happening to you ... Are you okay? Are you hurt?
- Yes and no. I'm fine. And no, I'm not hurt. I'm so happy to seeing you ...
I embrace her again.
Over her shoulder, I can see my father behind her. His eyes are sad and accusers, and a shiver runs down my spine.
They know. Of course they know.
I loose myself from my mother's arms. She smiles at me and touches my face tenderly.
I step forward to face the eyes that stare at me accusingly.
- Dad ...?
I expect him to say something. I expect he start to yelling at me, accusing me. Anything would be better than this silence.
My father closes his eyes for a moment, as if the tired of the years was too heavy. When he opens his eyes again, they are wet, but he don't leaves himself cry. He steps forward and hugs me silently.
I leave out a sob of relief, but also cry. About it, he and I are very similar. I have the best of both my parents.
- Dad ...
- Don't say anything, Beatrice. Just don't say. - he says burying his hands in my hair - Let me have this moment in silence. Please.
- Don't you hate me ? - I whisper like a four year old girl. I feel the same way.
- I could never. - he says whispering in my shoulder - I guess I believe in Karma. My personal war with Jeanine is too frustrating to remember now ... It was all my fault. If I had done something ... But I was a selfish child. Selfish and blind. I had her in front of me for so long, and I never did anything. I ...
- Dad, what are you talking about?
- I should have helped her. We were just kids, but she never really was a kid. She was barely human. And slowly we began to hate each other. No, I began to hate her. I ...
My father bites his lip, hard. Then, just lets me go and go away as fast as he can.
I stand there, confused and shocked for a while. The hand on my arm startles me.
- What he are you talking about?
- You know he was an Erudite, right? - my mother whispers.
- I discovered recently. - I say remembering the night at the bonfire, when a Factionless made me realize that I knew very little about my parents.
- When your father was eight, he was orphaned. He had to go live with a family friend. The Matthews's house.
- My father and Jeanine ... grew up together?
- Yes. They grew up together. Hating each other for seven years. They competed. Fought. And most of the time, they tried to ignore each other. Jeanine's mother had eyes only for Andrew, which caused resentment in Jeanine, and Jeanine was better at everything she did, which caused anger in Andrew.
- That's why they have always hated each other. - I whisper.
- They may now having something in common. - my mother says looking into my eyes - I will not judge you, baby. Just ... don't mention her when you are with us. For now. Maybe in time, and if things improve, that will change. But for now, the Jeanine subject is a taboo.
I nod.
It seems like a sensible option, and it will save me of many unnecessary headaches, at least for now. In the future, I would try to fix things. I can give up of many things for Jeanine, but I don't want give up of my parents.
Mentally, I remember that it might not be necessary. After all, we will be judged. Possibly, we will going to die.
And I have no idea how to avoid it.
...
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