CHAPTER 90

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A LIFE REWRITTEN

After I finally dragged Bella's body inside of my TARDIS from where it lay helplessly drifting in space, I immediately bent over it and started to listen for a heartbeat. I'm not exactly sure why I thought that a centuries old corpse would still be alive. It was just a feeling that I had. There was nothing concrete or substantial behind whatsoever.

Sometimes though your gut instinct is often the best thing that you can listen to I've found. It's certainly kept me out of a lot of trouble in my long, long life, and ignoring it has almost always gotten me straight into it.

Maybe it was also because I was desperately trying to cling onto the idea that anything was possible. That someone could survive and come back from even the worst of odds. It was something that I desperately needed to believe in that moment.

And as it turned out . . .

"So? What's the verdict? She's dead as a doornail, right?" Allison asked as the others watched me as if I had just lost my mind.

"No, she's still alive somehow. Her heart is beating. It's very slow but it's there," I said with a triumphant smile.

. . . I was right.

"How? How could she still be alive after a century or more of floating through space? On top of that, you said that her ship was completely destroyed by dozens of nuclear missiles. That's not possible," Ron said in disbelief.

"I'm not sure but I have my suspicions. Help me move her to the medical bay," I said.

Robin and Ron both lifted her up together and began to move her as Robin gave me a questioning look and asked, "The only person that I know of who doesn't need to breathe and can be completely wiped away like dust in the wind and still be able to return once more is Rose. Has Bella somehow become like Rose?"

Ron's eyes widened in surprise now as he said, "You mean that Bella is a Vortex user?"

"That's what I'm about to find out. For the record though, I think that Robbie is right on the money,"

"If that's true, wouldn't you have noticed something like that back in the old days?" Allison asked.

I frowned as I said, "Not necessarily. Not if she hadn't become one yet. I really suspect that someone's been playing around with Bella's timeline, and I can't help but wonder who and why. I just hope that it isn't the Matriarch or that the Black Guardian didn't leave us behind a little going away gift. I choose to believe that this is a good thing until I see otherwise however. That's why I'm going to study her in a minute. By the way, do you have to stress the word old so much? Let's not even go into how old certain people are because technically you're almost as old as I am, Ally."

Allison smiled as she said, "I didn't mean it like that, Mum. Someone's very touchy about their age."

"Stop it!" Freya suddenly shouted in an upset voice.

"What is it?" Allison asked as she looked at her with surprise and concern.

"I really wish you two would stop it with the old stuff. Just stop it, okay? I'm older than both of you and it bothers me enough as it is to be lost in a time that isn't my own. I don't need constant reminders of it," Freya said.

"We didn't mean to make you feel that way, Freya. We honestly never even thought about it. We were just joking with one another like we always do. I used to do that with Allison even before I knew that she with my daughter," I said in an apologetic tone.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. Really. I didn't mean anything by it," Allison said.

Freya looked at her with regret now as she said in a soft voice, "I know. I'm a bit touchy since Richard left I guess. Whenever I was around him, it always made my usual sense of loneliness go away for a while."

"Loneliness?" I asked in surprise.

"Yeah, how can you possibly be lonely on this ship? It's packed full of people. It's a little too packed even for a TARDIS really," Allison said.

"I know that and yet I still feel so alone sometimes. Don't get me wrong. I love all of you and I'm so grateful that you took me in like you did. I miss my home though. My old home and my old life. Sometimes that feeling of loss hits me worse than it does at other times. Just . . . Just forget that I said anything. Sorry," Freya said in a sad voice as she started to walk away.

I put my hand on her shoulder and stopped her as I said with a sympathetic smile, "Hey, it's okay. If anyone understands, I do. I've felt the exact same way that you do. Being immortal isn't all that it's cracked up to be, Freya. Talk about missing your past. I've had to go through that several hundred times in my life. As soon as I'd get used to one life, everything about it along with everyone in it would slowly fade away until I was completely alone once again. Then I'd have to start all over again with an all new one with all new people in it. Sometimes I wouldn't do that for centuries because of the pain involved in losing the people that I cared about. I – I don't like to think about it but I know that's going to happen to all of you one day too. That's why I've been so upset over losing Rose. It seems like it's starting already. So you see I know exactly how you feel, Freya. I sometimes wish that I had just had an ordinary life and died like I was supposed to a long time ago instead of becoming older than dirt."

"Done," The Matriarch said as she suddenly appeared out of nowhere with a mischievous grin on her face.

I could immediately feel time starting to twist and warp around me and saw everyone around me starting to fade in and out of existence. I had a sudden sinking feeling in my stomach as I realized that the Matriarch was completely altering my entire timestream.

"Stop it! Why are you doing this to me?" I said through gritted teeth as I fell to my knees in pain in front of her.

"Why am I rewriting your life to make it better? Oh, I don't know. I thought that was what you wanted. You did just say that you wished you had had a regular life. Well, that's exactly what I'm giving you. Don't bother to say thank you or anything," The Matriarch said with a frown.

"You'll wipe out all of the good things too that wouldn't have happened if I wasn't immortal like Rose, Aishwana, and Ron. I wouldn't change any of that despite all of the pain that I've had. Please stop this, Clara. If any part of you is still the Clara that I know, please stop this!" I pleaded as I fell over on my back while my body became filled with pain.

The Matriarch shook her head as she said in a surprisingly gentle voice, "No, it's not going to be like that. I've kept all of them too. I've cherry picked the best parts of your life and put them all together. You'll live a normal life but it will contain all of the best parts of this one too. All of your children will be there and so will Robin, Freya, and your parents and brother. I know you don't want to believe this, but I'm actually trying to do a good thing here. Don't fight me, Sekhmet. Let it happen. It's going to be okay."

"It won't work. It can't possibly work. You can't play around with the timelines that much without causing massive damage to the Web of Time. You have to stop this now before you wind up destroying the entire space-time continuum," I warned as I continued to resist the Matriarch's attempts to rewrite my life with all of my willpower.

The Matriarch smiled defiantly as she said, "No, that's where you're wrong. I can do anything now that I have the power of the Bad Wolf. I just rewrote what would have been Cassiopeia's death even though it was a fixed point in time and changed my own past, Sekh. Once I did that, I realized that I shouldn't stop there. I knew that the only way that I could keep Cassiopeia or any of the rest of the people that I love from almost dying again was to take complete and absolute control of their lives myself. Now that's exactly what I'm doing. I'm going to give you the perfect life, Sekhmet Ravenscliff. It will finally be the life that you always deserved."

I wasn't really paying any attention to her though. I was too busy focusing on the two most important words that she had just said.

"You have the power of the Bad Wolf? That was buried deep in Cassiopeia's mind though. Only Rose could have gotten it back out again. Then that means . . ." I said with a smile on my face despite knowing that the Matriarch had Rose's power now.

The Matriarch grinned as she said, "Yes, Lil, Rose and the Doctor are back. Jackie Tyler and Emmy just found them thanks to the partial time space coordinates that you gave them. Thankfully Rose didn't keep me from stealing her powers away from Cassiopeia like I feared that she might. She didn't even realize that was what I had planned until it was far too late. The fact that she and the Doctor had to be rescued in the first place though just backs up my original point, Lily. The only way to keep everyone safe is for me to give them nice, happy completely safe lives that I can control."

"The ultimate control freak fantasy," I said with a chuckle in a weakening voice.

I was losing the fight now. I could already feel myself starting to forget my old life as I found myself sometimes back on Gallifrey in the distant past and sometimes still on my TARDIS. I was rapidly shifting back and forth between both realities.

"Stop fighting it. The more you do the more pain that it'll cause. I know that you have no reason to trust me, but I promise that it'll be okay," The Matriarch said as she looked at me with a worried expression.

"No, it won't. I have to stop you or you'll completely destroy reality because you don't realize what you're doing. You're extremely intelligent and you've learned a lot from traveling with the Doctor, but you still don't have a proper understanding of the Web of Time. If you did, you would never even attempt a major rewriting of history like this," I protested in a voice filled with pain.

"Stop it, Lily. You have to stop fighting or you'll be ripped apart. I should have just gone ahead and rewritten your timeline without telling you first. I definitely won't make that mistake again, Immortal Girl. I didn't make a mistake with what I'm doing to the Web though. I have it all under complete control as you're just about to find out because you're finally losing your hold on this reality now," The Matriarch said with an extremely pleased look on her face.

She was right too. My surroundings were finally being completely replaced, and I was almost entirely back in the Gallifrey of my past. I could actually see my parents' old house and realized that I was standing in front of it. The only connection that I still had left to my old life now was the rapidly fading voice of the Matriarch that sounded as though it were a million miles away.

"Good bye, Lily. Say hello to your mum for me. Well, you could if you were still going to remember me. In a minute, you'll forget that I ever even existed though," The Matriarch's voice said before it finally faded away entirely.

"Sekhmet, is something wrong?" A voice that I hadn't heard in a very long time unless you counted my possible hallucinations said from behind me.

I turned to see my mother standing there and immediately struggled not to cry even as I desperately tried to hold onto my memory of the way things should be. Part of me didn't care if I forgot or not however the longer that I looked at her.

"What's wrong? Did something happen to one of the children?" My mother asked as she noticed the tears on my face.

"Children?" I asked in confusion.

"Yes, your children. Freya, Arkytior, Koschei, Aishwana, and Ronald? Do those names ring any bells?" Mother asked as she looked at me as if I had completely lost my mind.

That's when I realized for the first time that I was an adult and not a child as I looked down at myself. The Matriarch had kept her word alright. She had completely changed my life.

"Sekhmet, what is the matter with you? Are you sick?" Mother asked with concern as she felt my forehead for a fever.

That was when I finally knew for sure that this was all very real. I immediately hugged my mother tightly and refused to let go as the wetworks really started busting loose now from my eyes.

"Okay, now I know that something's wrong. Tell me about it, Sekh," Mother encouraged me with a confused expression on her face.

"I – I'm fine, Mother. Really," I said in an emotional voice.

"Sure you are. Robin, do you know what's bothering her?" Mother said.

"No, but then I've never pretended to be able to, my lady," Robin said with a smile as he stepped out of my parents' house with my father.

"Hey! The 'my lady' stuff is only for me," I said as I laughed at him.

"She sounds alright to me. She's already putting Robin in his place," My father said with a chuckle.

"What else is new? I don't know why he puts up with it personally. If she wasn't my sister, I'd have already told him to run from her a long time ago," A voice that I didn't recognize said from behind my father.

That was when a woman came into view behind Father wearing a smug little smirk on her face. It took me a moment to recognize her, but I gasped as I finally did.

It was a grown-up version of my sister, Freya.

"What's wrong with you? You act like you've never seen me before, Sekh," The grown-up Freya said with a worried look.

"See? I told you that something was wrong. I think she's sick," Mother said as she felt my forehead again.

That was when I felt new memories rushing to take the place of the old ones in my mind. I suddenly remembered growing up and having a completely normal life with my parents and my brother and sister. No one had ever come to attack us and drive us from our home, and I had never even heard of a man named Rassilon or the Great Vampires.

In fact, there had never been a Time War with them period because I had invented the TARDIS when I was still a young girl thanks to having a happy stable childhood and had jump started the development of time travel for Gallifreyans by decades. Perhaps that had made all the difference in avoiding the rise to power of Rassilon in this new reality.

On my travels through time, I had Aishwana with a man I met on another world who died soon after and later I came across Robin on Earth and wound up marrying him. I started to love the Earth so much in fact that I even adopted an Earth child Ron as my own years later and my children Arkytior and Freya had adopted the human names Rose and Allison and occasionally lived on Earth because they liked it so much there.

This new reality neatly put everything into place just as the Matriarch had promised me. In some ways it was vastly superior to my old one. In fact, it was so tempting to allow myself to just forget how things used to be and let my new memories firmly take hold in my mind as they were already trying to do.

So very tempting.

"Sekhmet? Are you alright?" Father asked as he too finally began to become concerned now.

"Lily, can you hear us?" Robin asked as he waved his hand in front of my face.

I 'remembered' now with a smile that in this new universe I called myself Lily on occasion and had used that name when I had first met Robin. The Matriarch had saved so much of the original reality, and yet I could feel that that wasn't enough to save it from being destroyed.

I could already feel it starting to slowly dissolve even as I stood there. The Web of Time was already coming apart just as I had warned the Matriarch that it would. The effects of this couldn't be seen visibly just yet, but I knew that they soon would be.

I knew that I had to find a way to reverse things if I still could before it was too late but part of me didn't care. Part of me wanted to stay here in this new reality where things had gone far, far better for me, and I had never had to suffer so much pain and remain alone for so very long.

A decision on what to do next was soon about to be made for me whether I wanted it to or not though.

"There you are, Immortal Girl. I've been searching all over for you," A voice said behind me.

I turned to see Sarah Jane Smith and a woman who I was sure was the real Clara this time instead of the Matriarch standing behind me. They both looked at me anxiously as if they weren't sure if I would still remember them or not.

To be honest, I almost didn't. My memories of the original universal were already fading, and it was all that I could do to keep them from completely disappearing.

"Are you sure that this is Lily? She looks confused," Sarah Jane asked Clara.

"She looks very different from the incarnations that you've known but it's her alright. She's still on her first incarnation in this new timeline you see. I actually met this version of her when she was still a kid so that's why I know for sure that it's her. She probably is a bit confused because her memories have been tampered with just like yours were when I first found you. If she doesn't remember, we may have to leave her here although I'd hate to do that," Clara said.

"We could definitely use her. She knows more about Time than either of us," Sarah Jane admitted.

"I know more about Time than anyone period, Sarah Jane Smith," I said with a grin as I immediately reassured them that I did indeed remember them.

"You know these people?" Mother asked in surprise while Sarah Jane and Clara exchanged a triumphant smile.

"Yes. Yes, I do. They're old friends of mine from Earth. I think that they've come to ask me for some help. The universe is in danger again just like always isn't it?" I said as I gestured for them to play along with me.

Some things never changed. In this reality, I was still saving the universe from time to time just like always.

"Uh, yeah. Yeah, it is. It's a fiendish plot by the, uh, evil Witch of the Well," Clara said thinking quickly.

"The who? I've never heard of her. Is she a new one, Sekh?" Freya asked in confusion.

"Yes. Yes, she is. She's extremely dangerous and very, very cranky especially when she doesn't get her morning tea," I said as I tried not to laugh at the angry look that came over Clara's face.

"Very funny," Clara whispered.

"So this one's not too dangerous is she?" Freya asked as she saw the grin on my face.

"Oh, no. She's extremely dangerous. You know me though. I just like to laugh in the face of danger," I said.

"Since when? You're always very serious minded. I can't get you to so much as crack a smile most of the time," Freya protested.

I had almost forgotten that part of my new memories due to trying so hard to keep them from taking over so my mind. This universe's Lily was a bit of a stiff it seemed due to not having to become Crazy Lily in order to forget the pain of her past.

If anything was a reason to hold onto my previous memories as hard as I could, it was the fact that I definitely didn't want to lose my sense of humor. I never wanted to become that boring in any universe.

"A serious Lily? This really is an alternate reality," Clara whispered to Sarah Jane who tried hard not to laugh.

"Leave the jokes to me, Soufflé Girl. I'm much better at them," I said as I pretended to be angry.

"Sekh, you really shouldn't be going anywhere. You're obviously not feeling too well," Mother said with worry.

"Then traveling may be the best thing for her. Getting out there and saving the universe could help her clear her mind of the old cobwebs, yeah?" Clara said with a grin.

"Are you sure about that? I really think that she needs to see a doctor," Mother said.

"Then it's a good thing that I'm here isn't it? I am a doctor. Doctor Oswald at your service but you can just call me Clara," Clara said with a smirk.

"A doctor who travels in time and space and helps save the universe?" Father asked skeptically.

"I know. The whole thing sounds a bit odd doesn't it? It's not impossible though just highly improbable," Clara said as her smirk rapidly transformed into a cryptic smile.

"So you really think that traveling is what she needs to help her?" Mother asked.

"I'm sure of it. It'll help far more than you think in fact," Clara said.

"Then you need to go with them for a while and come back to us when you're feeling better, Sekh," Mother said.

I immediately hugged first my mother and then my father tightly as I said with a crack in my voice, "Good bye."

"Why are you acting like this is the last time that you're ever going to see us, Sekh? We'll still be here when you get back. I promise," Mother said with a warm smile.

"Of course you will, Mother," I said as I tried not to cry.

Both of my hearts fell at her words because I knew that if I was successful that I'd never be coming back to see either her or Father. Ever.

"I'm sorry," Sarah Jane whispered to me in a heartfelt voice because she knew this as well and could probably sympathize since she had lost her own parents when she was very young.

I quickly said my good byes to the others, and then I walked with Clara and Sarah Jane just out of their sight and earshot. As we all held hands and prepared to vanish, Sarah Jane asked me a quick question.

"How much longer do you think that we have before the Web collapses completely?" Sarah Jane asked me.

"I'd say judging by the feelings that I'm getting from my time sense that we only have a day or two at the most. The signs of it haven't become visible yet, but it's definitely becoming strained to the limit by all of these changes. If we can't stop it soon, then the damage may become irreversible," I warned.

"Then we need to get more help as soon as possible before we try to hunt the Matriarch down and make her fix it back. The more powerful the help we get the better too. We need another Guardian. Let's go for Jenny next. She'll probably be easy to convince of what's really going on even if she has lost her memories and the least likely to attack us. I hope," Sarah Jane said.

"I don't know. Jen's not quite as sweet as she seems to be sometimes when someone really ticks her off. Hopefully we'll stay on her good side though. I mean we do have her Gran with us. You are still her Gran in this new reality aren't you?" Clara asked me.

"Yes, I believe so. My memories are starting to get so mixed up it's hard to tell what is and isn't real anymore. That's very bad," I admitted in an alarmed voice.

"That means that the damage to the Web is getting worse then?" Sarah Jane asked.

"Yes, that's exactly what it means. When even a Time Lord's memories start to get clouded and fuzzy, then Time is definitely in seriously bad shape. We have to assemble the strongest of us together as quickly as possible and stop the Anti-Clara as quickly as possible before it's too late to fix things back again," I said.

"I hate to ask but what happens when it's too late?" Clara asked.

"Ka-boom. The entire Web explodes and time is completely rebooted. We may or may not exist in this new reality, but the odds are definitely against it because Time will probably take an entirely different course this time around. The Silurians may actually stay the dominant species on Earth for instance," I explained.

Clara winced even as she said, "Bet Vastra would love that. Alright then, Immortal Girl, let's go round up Jen and the others as quickly as we can."

As we started to vanish and teleport to our next destination, I couldn't help but wonder if I should have just stayed where I was. Why couldn't my own reality have been as kind to me as this one was?

I knew that the Matriarch was only trying to help me, but she couldn't have done a crueler thing to me than what she had just done. I wasn't sure that I'd ever be able to forgive her for it.

It turned out that would soon become a moot point.

TO BE CONTINUED IN JENNY TYLER, TIME'S ANGEL CHAPTER 87.

Next: The next chapter picks up where this one left up just before reality was changed by the Matriarch as Lily investigates the mystery of how Bella is still alive. What will she find out? Is Bella's mind as alive as her body? We'll find out exactly what condition that she's in and her ultimate fate next time as special guest stars Rose and the Doctor join us.

As for what happens in the fight against the Matriarch, that will slowly take place across every chapter of my Guardian Who stories (except Time and Space and Tales of Gallifrey) for the next few weeks and have its grand finale (along with the final fate of the Matriarch) in Chapter 18 of The Thief of Time. If you don't follow the rest of my Guardian Who stories though, don't worry. You'll find out all about what happened right here next time.