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It was Sunday.
I smiled into my pillow. My shift didn't start until noon, so I had time to rest. It was always nice, a break from waking up so early in the morning. I was able to drift back asleep for another hour before I finally decided to take my lazy bum out of my bed. The clock read 10 a.m., and I took my time to get dressed after a quick but relaxing shower. I was just about to leave for the mess when I heard a knock on my door. I skipped to the door, an obvious effect of my uplifted mood, and opened it quickly. I was greeted by Sulu's smiling face. His shirt was neat and a gold color, clearly he had a shift on the bridge soon.
"Good morning Stella. I hope I didn't wake you up." He said, and I shook my head.
"No, no, I was up for a bit. What brings you to my humble quarters?"
He chuckled before clasping his hands in front of him as if he couldn't contain his excitement. The made my curiosity rise, and his next words almost killed me with the suspense.
"I have a surprise."
I eyed the Asian man carefully, but was quickly interrupted by him grabbing my arm and lightly pulling it down the hall way. I gasped and clumsily tried to keep up with his tugging body.
"Sulu!" I rasped, "where are we going?" He stopped pulling me and slowed down to a quick walk.
"You'll see."
And it was definitely a surprise. He led me down to the ships botany room, which I was only allowed to enter a scarce amount of times. There were no windows, but there were plenty of lights that were varying in intensity over different plants and shrubs. Some required an intense amount of light, others barely required any. Some needed different amounts throughout the day, and that's what made it so hard to care for; they needed to be checked constantly and carefully to make sure the plant was healthy.
I stared wide eyed at the space in front of me. Several plants, terran and extraterrestrial were hung on the ceiling, placed on tables or climbing up walls. Colors ranging from emerald green to scarlet red to a dark blue I couldn't even begin to describe. I know Sulu and some other crew members had put a lot of effort into growing these plants, especially because we were in space and so many different malfunctions that could occur on the ship unexpectedly. But all his efforts payed off. It was certainly a sight to see.
Once I had gotten used to the beauty of the room, I ran to Sulu and wrapped my arms around him in a tight hug. He made a disgruntled sound before laughing and patting my head like a kid.
"Thanks Sulu. You're the best friend ever!" I giggled and continued to examine all the different plants around the room. I was truly grateful fro him bringing me here; I wasn't really supposed to go down here, even though I was one of the botanists. However, I was supposed to study them though a microscope, not care for them up close. Only a small amount of people were allowed in the room everyday. Several of the plants that were not from Earth could only handle a small amount of carbon dioxide everyday, so crew members had to wear masks and special equipment to not harm the plants.
I thanked him over and over again, but he shook his head.
"What did I do? I just brought you here."
I smiled up at him.
"And I thank you for that. It's wonderful."
The room was packed with various species, from Vulcan orchids to terran roses to a certain type of vine that only grows in Klingon territory. That only proved how much effort was put into expanding the number of species in the collection of flora.
I was snapped out of my plant examining reverie when I looked at the clock.
11:36
I turned to Sulu. I didn't want to leave, I could spend all day in that room, just lounging around and being surrounded by the beautiful plants. But duty calls, and telling Commander Spock I was late because of my love for plants would probably irritate him to a point where it showed on his face.
"It's almost time for my shift. Thank you so much!" I thanked him again, slinging my arm around his shoulder as we walked out.
"I have my shift soon anyway. And it was my pleasure. It feels like we hardly spend any more time together."
I nodded in agreement. Between my increasing hours at the lab and my sessions with Commander Spock, I had minimal time to go to the rec room or chat with other crew members.
"The captain is hosting one of his ship bar nights soon, you should go. Uhura's going too." He said as we exited the room. I shrugged, not too hyped on going to one of those again.
"Maybe. But only if I'm in the mood to get hit on by a drunk captain."
He laughed at that, and we continued down the hall.
"But seriously Stell. You'd brighten the room with your dazzling smile." He joked lightly.
I felt by face tinged pink before I flashed him a wide, almost comical smile. He laughed but then stopped abruptly. I gave him a weird look before seeing what he was looking at. Commander Spock stood in front of us, his hands clasped behind his back as I always saw them. I removed my hand quickly from Sulu's shoulder, standing up straighter and showing a small smile at the Vulcan. It was embarrassing to be caught in such an unprofessional manner, and I hoped Sulu wasn't as red faced as I was.
"Good morning Commander Spock." I said quickly, and Sulu stood up straight as well. Spock simply tilted his head down.
"Good morning Lieutenant Anderson, Sulu."
Sulu nodded before smiling at me.
"I should head to my shift. Good day Commander."
Spock nodded again before Sulu took off. I watched him swiftly walk down the hallway before turning a corner and disappearing.
I smooth a strand behind my ear hastily, trying to appear more professional tan I felt. I glanced up at Spock. He was eyeing me carefully.
"Is it correct to assume you are heading to the lab?" He asked and I nodded.
"Yes, Commander. Are you as well?"
He didn't say anything, but simply nodded. Without speaking a word we both fell into step as we walked down the hall. After a few minutes he broke the silence.
"You and Lieutenant Sulu seem to be close acquaintances."
I paused slightly, trying to analyze what he meant. Was he...jealous? No. Vulcan's don't feel jealousy. I nodded after a moment.
"Yes. I've known him since I was assigned to the ship. We have been close ever since."
He nodded and silence consumed us again.
"Do you have a peculiar reason for asking, Commander?" I asked, but I immediately regretted it. Was it incorrect for me to think him jealous? Probably. He glanced down at me with a slightly quirked eyebrow. He made me want to crawl in a hole, never come out, and eventually die of embarrassment.
"I was simply curious of your relations with other crew members. But it is understandable for you to be adverse to discussing your intimate connections with the Lieutenant." he said, and I choked on the air slightly. He eyed me closer. His gaze was penetrating and intense, but not cold or mean as it sometimes came off as. On some days I found myself wondering if he purposely had that expression, other days I reminded myself he was Vulcan and an emotionless expression was a natural thing for them. I halted in examining his face and processed his words.
He thought I was with Sulu?As in with Sulu? What? How could he think that? I mean I knew Sulu and I were close but not close enough for people to see us as an item!
"No, no, we aren't together. Just friends." I said stretched, and Spock finally looked away from me. Why did I want to assure him so much that we weren't together?
"I understand." He said after a while. I smacked my head mentally. He was like a labyrinth that I couldn't quite travel through. He would show flickers of emotions, but he was a Vulcan. Even if he was half human, he clearly had chosen his half Vulcan half heritage. He wasn't supposed to feel jealousy or anger over illogical things.
I sighed as we reached the lab. Great. My day begins on the worst note it could have possibly been on.
When we entered the lab, I quickly slipped on my lab coat and took a seat at my station. For the first time in a while, I didn't want to talk. I was not in the mood for more conversation with Spock.
I felt his eyes on my for a brief moment before he sat at his own station. We worked for two hours when I stood up to get more samples from the botany lab. Since we rarely ran out of samples, it gave me an excuse to go to the plant room. It didn't both me that another scientist had neglected his duties of bringing more samples. Getting to go down there twice in day, it was a nice treat for me that I wasn't going to start complaining about.
I was just out the door when I was thrown backwards, the ship shaking under me as I landed on the floor painfully. I felt my skull hit the ground and everything blacked out for a few seconds before I snapped back. My head pounded and my back ached.
I quickly tried to stand up as an instinct, turning widely to see what happened or what was damaged. My body screamed in protest as I tried to take everything in. I eyed Spock who had grabbed onto the bolted table. He didn't seem hurt; however he was eyeing me quickly.
"Stella, I advise you to grab onto something-"
The ship jerked and Spock was thrust in my direction, my brain still blurry as I saw a flash of blue sliding towards me. I heard him let out a grunt as the ship tilted, and Spock collided rather forcefully against me and I ground my teeth in pain. Spock's arms caged me between him, and I fought hard to breath. His body was too close to mine, my face practically buried into his firm chest. Adrenaline was coursing through me, the cold wall behind me and Spock's warm body in front. I heard shouts from the hall way and the sound of things clattering to the ground. A red light was flashing from outside the lab, and fear was taking over my thoughts.
The ship was slowly tilting back into an even position when I finally could speak.
"S-Spock what happened?" I stuttered, and he finally got off of me. I grabbed the wall for support as I stood up.
"It seems we have been dropped out of warp." He stated, and I noticed that the familiar hum that the ship made when it was in warp was absent.
Moments later, the captain's voice rang through the intercom.
"Attention all crew; we have been dropped out of warp unexpectedly. We have entered the Briar patch, a section of Federation territory that's known to cause several ship malfunctions. Don't be alarmed, but report to med bay if any serious injuries occurred. Kirk out."
I rubbed my head slowly, processing the Captain's words.
Does this mean I was going to be tossed around the ship at any moment? I grimaced at my throbbing head.
"Stella, are you alright? Have you sustained any injuries?"
I heard Spock's voice and I looked up at him. His dark eyes were laced with slight concern but his face was passive.
"Nothing serious. I'm fine.", I assured him, but the emotion was still dotted in his eyes before disappearing. I ignored it as I surveyed the damage in the lab. Some beakers and tubes had been tossed to the side, and some glass had shattered to the floor. Papers had been tossed here and there, along with lab tools scattered about. I inwardly groaned. It was going to be a pain in the ass to clean it all up.
After I had organized my station and dropped by the other labs to survey the damage, I was off to med bay. The pounding in my head had yet to cease and the cut on my leg due to a piece of broken glass was bleeding quite a bit. I didn't listen to Spock's initial request for me to go to med bay, and I was paying the price. My head was still aching and I was beginning to worry if the cut on my calf would become infected. I listened to the side of my brain with some common sense and began my trek down to the med bay.
The damage on the ship wasn't terrible but it definitely left a mark. I saw crew members scrambling around, carrying papers and pads. Others were injured on their way or from the med bay, due to bruises or broken bones.
By the time I reached med bay, it was substantially busy.
Bones was furiously scribbling on his clip board and giving orders to the other nurses. I waited patiently until he noticed me. I had entered the med bay thirty minutes ago, sitting down at a nearby table with other waiting cadets. I sat, watching as McCoy or Nurse Chapel would call their name and sit them down on a bio bed if needed. Doctor McCoy finally walked towards me, still staring down at his PADD. He began his string of questions quickly.
"Any broken bones?"
I shook my head.
"Bruises? Cuts?"
I nodded and pointed at my leg, which lead a small stream of blood tracing down my leg. I heard him let out a low expletive as he pointed at the bio bed. I sat down slowly as he rummaged through the cabinet. He pulled out a roll of gauze and swabs of cloth.
"Any other injuries I should know about?" He began to clean my wound and I hissed in pain.
"Yes. I hit my head on the ground when I fell." I said through slightly gritted teeth. He finished wrapping my leg and moved up to my face. He walked around me and began to sift through my messy bun. I then felt his fingers run across the crown of my head and I winced.
"Yea, that's quite bump you have. Not a concussion though.", Doctor McCoy explained. I smiled in relief. I was not excited to be stuck in med bay for another few days with a damn head ache.
Suddenly a felt a quick, sharp pinch in my back and let out a yelp from the unexpected pain . Immediately, the pulsing in my head and back subsided. I glared at McCoy.
"A little warning next time before you hypo me in the back." I scowled, but he simply smirked.
"Don't be such a baby. But if it makes you feel any better, Jim cries like an infant when I do it to him."
I laughed lightly at what he said, and hopped off the bio bed quickly.
"Well, I should get going. The lab's still a mess." I grimaced, and McCoy nodded understandingly.
"Tell me about it. I hope Jim learns how to steer a ship soon or the med bay is going to be in ruins."
I smiled again at his banter before exiting med bay. I walked swiftly down the hall back to the labs. I didn't want to leave Spock alone with so much work, especially after the events of today. When I reached the lab however, he wasn't present. His station was empty but his microscope was still on. I furrowed my eye brows. Where did he disappear to? Reaching the conclusion he had been summoned to the bridge due to today's recent events, catching up on my work was a new priority.
I ignored his absence and began to neaten up my station again. The pounding in my head had thankfully stayed at bay, even as I could feel the coolness of the hypo wear off. I was too tired to pull my hair into a neater bun and I was afraid the pain would return if I tried to. It would remain a frizzy mess with strands of brown sticking out. I sighed, putting my hair up anyway. It would be easier to work with it up, and the slight pain that came with it was easier to work through than before.
It was getting later as I worked, and it was getting harder to keep my eyes open. My brain was drowsy and my hand writing became sloppier and sloppier as I scribbled down note. I flicked off the microscope tiredly. I could feel myself about to fall asleep when I heard the door open. I spun around so quickly that I nearly fell off my chair in the process. I locked eyes with Spock. The embarrassment wouldn't cease would it? First, practically accusing him of feeling jealousy and now almost falling asleep in front a senior officer. This was not the day for me, clearly.
"Oh, hello Spock. You scared me." I said, smiling slightly. He quirked an eye brow, walking closer to me.
"Apologies, Stella. It was not my intention. However, it appears you are quite exhausted. It is getting late. You should rest in your quarters."
I averted my eyes from his deep brown ones. How was one man able to make me so nervous, just by standing mere feet away from me? He raised an eye brow at me. Maybe it was his cool demeanor, which made be look like an anxious deer ready to sprint away. Or that he seemed cold and calculating when he talked, making me feel too emotional or over reactive.
"I suppose I should. Today was just...exhausting." I relented and stood up to shrug my lab coat off. I felt his eyes on me as I crossed the room.
"Yes. I trust you visited the sick bay to get your injuries treated?" He asked. I smiled but shook my head.
"It was hardly an injury, but yes. Thank you, Spock."
He seemed confused for a split second.
"I do not understand why you are thanking me.", he said simply, and I frowned.
"It could have been much worse had you not held me against the wall. I probably would have been tossed around the ship even more." I explained, fighting the blush that threatened to creep up my face after remembering how close I was to him. But he had protected me, and who knows how bad my injuries could have been. I narrowly escaped a damn concussion. The glass that had sprayed across the floor could have even caused more injuries, lacerations that could scar if I had fallen on them.
He nodded slightly.
"It was only logical, seeing if I had not held you in place, I would have collided into you without a cushion to the impact." He explained, his face calm and arms clasped behind his back. I nodded slowly, still exhausted.
"Thanks anyway." I muttered, hooking my coat on the rack. I smoothed my blue uniform down, trying to tug it down. Uhura and I constantly complained about the length of the mandatory uniforms. While men were comfortable in their shirts and pants, we girls are stuck in short dresses and short sleeves. It was cold and not modest enough to my liking. I wouldn't mind pants, thank you very much. I had considered constructing a letter to Star Fleet, but that would be silly and childish. It still didn't make up for the uncomfortable dresses, though.
Spock eyed my hands briefly as I tugged my dress down. He blinked before his mouth opened. He seemed to hesitate slightly before speaking.
"Stella, may I ask a personal query?", he tilted his head slightly, and I frowned. What could he possibly ask? I just wanted to sleep, so I nodded anyway. The quicker he finished, the quicker my head would hit the pillow.
"Go ahead, Spock." I said, and he took another step closer. His voice lowered, as if it was a secretive or private thing to say. I suppose it was, but there was no one else around to hear it, thus my confusion to his advance closer to me.
"What triggered your silence? That is, if it correct to assume you were not born mute. Your speaking is impressive and would not be as practiced if you had never spoken before ."
I paused, smoothing my dress done again nervously. I swallowed, blinking a few times before speaking. I froze again when I met his dark eyes. They were narrowed slightly. I nodded.
"A few years ago. My sister ended her life." I whispered, trying to find my voice but failing miserably. I looked down at the floor, suddenly embarrassed for near crying in front of a senior officer. I hated how the story sounded, saying my sister did what she did. I was almost ashamed of it, but I never decided to confront those emotions in fear I would only make things harder for myself. I continued.
"I stopped talking, I didn't know why. Even when I tried to...I just...couldn't." I said, and luckily my voice had increased in volume. I stared down at my black shoes, waiting for him to speak. I hoped he had heard me, only to spare myself from repeating it again. I appeared weak, no doubt, and I suddenly wished I had left the lab before he had time to say anything to me. Any respect he had for me was probably gone, along with any dignity I had.
That's why when I felt a finger under my chin, I stopped breathing. Said finger lifted my head up from my shoes and made me face dark brown eyes. Spock's face was calm and emotionless, but I couldn't quite read his eyes. I blinked, unable to speak. Thankfully, he began to talk.
"I request that you look at me when you speak." He said, and it wasn't quite what I had expected. His voice wasn't soothing or sad, it was professional and unchanged. I was stung slightly by his curtness but nodded anyway, trying hard not to take my eyes from his face. His mouth opened again.
"I apologize, that is a terrible occurrence. Your reaction was understandable." His eyes were now changing, it seemed, but his face remained passive and calculating. His eyes seemed softer, like they were showing sympathy. I swallowed again, nervous. I fought the urge to lean in, to press my own mouth to his and relax into him. But I didn't. I couldn't. I pulled away from him gently, looking away from him. His hand fell back to his side and I stepped away from him.
Unprofessional thoughts were for unprofessional people, and unprofessional people could not work aboard the Enterprise. I was almost mortified for having such thoughts for the Commander, and embarrassed for what I had wanted to do. My eyes were flickering around the lab anxiously, and I was eager to leave.
"Thank you, Spock. I really appreciate it. Good night." I said quickly, avoiding his eyes before making a bee line out of the lab. I could feel a pair of dark brown eyes follow me as I fled the room. I could feel my own eyes blink back tears as I walked down the corridor.
"Thanks anyway." She said quietly, hanging her lab coat on the nearby rack. He watched her smooth down her dress, trying the lengthen it. His eyes lead down to her pale fingers that ghosted across the hem line of the dress.
He blinked and pulled his thoughts away from the not so modest dress she wore. His mind was in a more serious mode. He opened his mouth to speak, contemplating what to say.
"Stella, may I ask a personal query?" He finally asked, and Stella paused before nodding.
"Go ahead Spock." She said. Her eyes were weary but still kind. They were softer though, different from the way they looked at him when she had been trapped under him on two occasions. Wide. Frightful. Panicked.
He took a step closer, and eyed her carefully. The curiosity had been nagging him, ever since she had regained her voice. Though he was normally completely controlled, apparently his human side was deciding to make an appearance, in the form of intrigue and maybe suspense. He wanted to know.
"What triggered your silence? That is, assuming you was not born mute. Your speaking is impressive and would not be as practiced if you had never spoken before."
He began to wonder if it was a mistake to ask such a question, for she paused and blinked several times before answering. However, he thought it was a logical question and therefore perfectly valid to ask in a conversation. She met his eyes.
"A few years ago. My sister ended her life." She whispered, her face still tired but now painted with a nostalgic, melancholy expression.
He watched her as she hung her face lower. Spock tensed. The answer she gave had hit him like a bullet. He never imagined that would be the cause of her silence.
She continued.
"I stopped talking, I didn't know why. Even when I tried to...I just...couldn't."
Spock glanced down at Stella, strands of brown hair drifting in front of her face. Her head was down, staring at the metallic floor.
He suddenly felt intrusive, for asking such a personal question.
He stepped closer, hesitantly lifting a single finger up to her chin. The skin to skin contact was not something he often welcomed, even at this moment, but he felt it appropriate for the situation. He had learned, humans appreciated physical comfort when distressed.
He felt her current emotions flood through him, pain, loneliness, regret, and he flinched ever so slightly. Immediately, he regretted his decision to feel her emotions, knowing what he had done was unprofessional and invading her personal atmosphere. However, he didn't yank away like a small part of him wanted to do. Instead, he pulled her face to confront him. He stared into her blue eyes cautiously, examining the tears that welled up but didn't dare fall. More emotions slipped into his mind. Kindness, Respect, affection. He frowned. The longing that was felt between them, was it from her or from him? He felt irritation towards himself, he knew he did not feel that way for a junior colleague.
He took a small breath, focusing back to her. Her lips were curved downwards. He fought the urge to lean closer to her face, and the thought of it was easily and swiftly suppressed, pushed down with ease as he tried to think more logically. She blinked and Spock finally spoke.
"I request that you look at me when you speak." He said, and it came out slightly harsher than he had meant it to be. He noticed her minute reaction, however obvious. She seemed burned by his blunt remark, and his immediately felt the need to cushion what he had said so sharply.
"I apologize, that was a terrible occurrence. Your reaction is understandable." He stated, not really knowing what else to say. To him, ending one's own life was illogical. It had no positive value and eliminated the possibilities of a future benefit. He didn't understand.
Uhura had separated with him for that exact reason- the inability to understand human emotions. She knew it was difficult for him. His half human heritage made it hard for him to control his emotions, but his Vulcan genes made it difficult for him to express them. Uhura could not be a relationship with someone who didn't understand her emotions. She was confident, always expressed what she thought or felt, and had no qualms in showing her emotion. Spock was her polar opposite and while some might say opposites attract, it simply was not a match between them.
He watched her eyes scan his face carefully, her head tilted up due to his taller stature. She swallowed before pulling away from his hand. The flood of emotions ceased as she stepped back, blinking furiously. He watched, confused but no perplexity visible on his face.
"Thank you Spock. I really appreciate it. Good night." She said quickly, before sweeping past him and out the door.
He was left surprised by her reaction. He had offered comfort, and physical consolation at that. So why had she acted in such a surprising way? She almost seemed embarrassed and angry, but not at him. At herself.
He was left slightly baffled by her, feeling the need to meditate and sort his frayed emotions into neat stacks of feelings and thoughts. He needed to get the thoughts of her out of his head and mind, he needed to forget about her. But in the back of his mind, he knew it would be easier said than done.
More fluff, I know, super sorry. The next chapter has some action, and maybe make the development between Stella and Spock more gradual and realistic. Please tell me if any of the characters are not correctly portrayed, I hate reading stories where there are OOC people, especially Spock. I may not have enough time to write for the next two weeks or so, I am going on vacation (to Albany to visit some family) I have another drafted chapter, and soon I will start on some more. Please review, and I sincerely thank the three of you that already have, I literally freaked out when you did! Thank you, and I will update probably next week. Review/Favorite/Follow please!