Tyranitar

This is Bill the Tyranitar. He's a tall bulky Pokemon with bright green scales, skin as tough as granite, and a mouth full of sharp carnivore teeth. Although his ancestors were once the terrors of the prehistoric era, rampaging across the landscape and sending all the smaller Pokemon scurrying if not to their doom, Bill is actually just a big softie.

"Um, yeah, that's about right," Bill says, twiddling his thumbs. "I'm not dangerous."

Now Bill is a mild mannered fellow, working by day as a balloon salesman in the local mall. He's quite popular with the kids and sells lots of cute balloons, like shiny Pikachu balloons, plump Jigglypuff balloons, and pink heart-shaped balloons. On occasion, he sells metallic Tyranitar head balloons, which are a big hit with the boys.

"Balloons are great," Bill says. "They don't hurt anybody. Unless you swallow an unfilled balloon. Be careful about latex, kids!"

But then one day, Bill's life completely changed. He had been at the mall's Mexican restaurant, which was having a one day special. If a customer could finish eating a super-sized fiery inferno hot bean burrito in one sitting, then he or she could get an entire week's worth of meals free from the restaurant.

"Oh boy!" Bill says. "I may be mild mannered, but I love spicy Mexican food. Put on some extra jalapenos!"

But unknown to Bill, the restaurant owner had made this offer in a devious manner. He wanted to draw in more business, but didn't want to actually give anyone a week of food free. Especially not someone with the appetite of a Tyranitar. So to each contest burrito, he added three drops of the infamous Toxic Hell Sauce.

"Uh-oh," Bill says. "Am I in the right story?"

Yes, you are. So Bill goes into the restaurant around noon and enters the burrito eating contest. The restaurant owner brings out the special burritos, foot long meals that are stuffed with black beans, spiced meat, spicy rice, Spicy Jalapeno Jack cheese, spiced lettuce, hot tomatoes, jalapeno peppers, special extra-hot sauce, and the Toxic Hell Sauce. Each of the contestants picks out their burrito and begins the race. It all goes smoothly until they hit the extra special ingredient.

"WHOA!" Bill shouts, getting tears in his eyes. "Aye yi yi, that's, ow!"

But our hero isn't about to give up just yet. The lure of free Mexican meals is too much. So he keeps eating, through the second drop, and the third drop, and finishes the burrito. He has won! But little does Bill know that mixing black beans and rice with Toxic Hell Sauce creates an unexpected super mutation effect to occur. He feels the fire of the spices burning through his blood, and then he transforms…

…into the Gargantuan Tyranitar Mex!

"RAWR!" Bill roars, with spiced up red flames escaping his toothy jaws.

Enraged by the infernal sauce, Bill the Gargantuan Tyranitar Mex leaps up and smashes the table into the floor, then rips out the restaurant bench and hurls it into the crowded restaurant. The customers all scream and try to escape, but then the mutation continues, causing him to grow to gigantic size to fit his new name. He burst through the ceiling and rips the whole wall out of place.

"Run for your puny lives, muchachos!" Bill screams. "Now you miserable villains will pay for every single balloon that you've popped!"

His old balloon cart goes flying as he kicks it to the other end of the mall, sending the cute balloons soaring to the skylights. And he just keeps on growing, eventually breaking through the concrete walls of the mall and stomping into the packed parking lot. Now even more people are screaming and running, trying to escape the wrath of Bill, but he calls forth the rocks of the Earth and sends them hurtling across the city landscape.

"Vamanos, I'm sick of all of you," Bill shouts as he kicks the wrecked cars out of the parking lot.

Mass chaos erupts in the city as the Gargantuan Tyranitar Mex storms into downtown. He stomps onto a gas station, which explodes into a giant fireball, but does not harm Bill one bit. He picks up a Denny's restaurant and hurls it across ten blocks, sending yummy all-day-breakfast goodness cascading over the panicking pedestrians. He fires up an extremely spicy Hyper Beam, which incinerates the local puppy orphanage.

"Oh no, not the puppy orphanage!" a random city dweller mourns.

"Mwahahahahaha!" Bill cackles.

Elsewhere in downtown, the Mexican restaurant's owner, who turns out to be a chemistry student who snapped during final year exams, breaks down into tears near the pretty blond reporter starlet. "Oh, I've done a terrible thing," he cries. "I just wanted to succeed at something and make my name known, but I foolishly used too much of the Toxic Hell Sauce and now we have to deal with a monstrous Gargantuan Tyranitar Mex!"

"Oh, you didn't mean things to go so badly," the reporter starlet coos, in an obvious cue into the standard monster movie romance scene.

"No you don't," Bill yells, storming onto the scene. "This movie is about me and I won't have any sappy but boring romantic subplots." He then eats the couple and flattens three city blocks in one sweep of his giant tail.

The military then jumps into the scene, sending in attack helicopters and fighter jets. "We're here to take the monster down!" the squad leader cheers, eager to see some real exciting action for once.

"Fat chance, el stupido," Bill snarls, then jumps into the air and slams down next to the wide river.

All of the water leaps out of the riverbed and shorts out the jets and helicopters. Quickly, Bill causes a landslide of buildings and debris to crash into the riverbed, forcing the water to find some other way through the city. Before long, the entire city is in ruins, under the reign of a giant Mexican Tyranitar.

"And the monster wins this time!" Bill shouts in victory. To celebrate, he rushes to the nearby football stadium and punts it for a field goal between the next two cities.

"Hey Bill! Bill, wake up!"

Bill the Tyranitar woke up, regular sized and not so monstrous. "What, huh? Oh, it was just a dream."

His fellow Tyranitar snorted at him. "You smashed my foot while you were sleepwalking."

Blushing, he stepped back. "Oh, sorry, sorry! I can never tell when I do that."

"I know." The other Tyranitar stormed off.

"But I had the most awesome dream," Bill said, cheering up. "I smashed a city and changed the landscape with mutant hot sauce powers!"

"Bill, we can do that without any mutant powers. But we don't because the humans might retaliate with nuclear weapons."

"Right, that would kind of stink. Or, what if those nukes gave us super mutant powers?"

The other Tyranitar groaned.

…

Tyranitar D/P/P entry: If it rampages, it knocks down mountains and buries rivers. Maps must be redrawn afterward.