I pressed my hands until they ached. My heart raced until I was hard to breathe. Maybe I was even crazy. Maybe I was about to secure my conviction, minutes after being acquitted. I was probably about to ruin everything.
Then I thought of Jeanine in hospital. I remembered the time when I cradled her head in my lap, believing she was dead. I thought of my promise not to let anything or anyone cause her harm.
I took a deep breath and made my decision. I had to try, even if the chances of going wrong were very, very large.
- Wait - I said, trying to sound the most confident and authoritative as possible. -This is not over.
Their reaction was exactly what I expected: confused looks and raised eyebrows at me. I tried to keep my unwavering expression and not to show how much I was terrified.
- You could be explained, Ms Prior? - Jack said.
- I told this is not over. There is still a pending issue: Jeanine Matthews.
I shuddered to say the words. I was putting in danger only to pronounce her name in that environment, in front of those people. I possibly was condemning her with that reckless attitude.
But then, I knew there was no choice. If Jeanine was judged alone, she would be condemned without hesitation. The risk of condemn her was interlaced to my single remote chance to save her.
- I believe we can not discuss this now. Jeanine Matthews will have her own judgment.
- Jeanine Matthews is in the hospital sector of Erudite in serious condition -Tori looked at me pointedly. She held my gaze without a minimum of compassion. -And no one knows for sure when she will wake up. I don't think she will be able to be judged in the future so close.
- Are you trying to anticipate her judgment? Represent her?
I shrugged.
- If that's what you mean ... yes. All I want is for you to hear what I have to say. We're here in a trial, it can not be that hard. And I believe it will be better for everyone if we solve these pending issues as soon as possible. After all these revelations, this city has many other things to worry about.
I looked intently at Jack and Johanna. They looked at each other for a few seconds and some kind of understanding happened between them.
- It's all right. - Johanna said calmly. -You can speak for Jeanine. But in this way, her fate is in your hands. What is decided here will be fulfilled, there is no chance of return.
I felt a chill in my back, but nodded.
- I want you to listen .. - I started. -I want you to listen and consider the reasons why I request to abolish death sentence to her.
- Never! - Shouted Tori. -She will never be absolved! Never!
- Silence, Tori - Said Jack. -You can give your word at the right time. For now, let Beatrice say what she has to say.
Tori looked at me with fury, and I forced myself to maintain the look. I needed to leave my side Erudite take control. I needed to be intelligent and persuasive.
I turned my eyes back to Jack and Johanna. I felt a sharp pain in my neck and realized that a man from Candor applied me another dose of truth serum.
Immediately felt the heat in my veins, agitation, desperate urge to dump the truth out of my mouth.
- First, I want to make it clear that Jeanine is not innocent -I pressed my lips and closed my eyes, trying to control my breathing, which was already noticeably accelerated. I needed to control the effect of the serum as I spoke of Jeanine. No one there would have compassion for her that they have had for me. Anything I say could ruin everything. - Tori is right in that point. She isn't and will never be innocent of her crimes. But I believe that you should make an exception for her case, taking into account all that you know now.
- Exception? -Tori said. - Are you crazy?
- No, I'm not crazy. - I needed much effort to keep from screaming. - And please, Tori, you could be so kind as not to interrupt me?
Silence.
- As I was saying ... - continued - Given the revealed truth, I think so, we are in for a dampening. You have seen the video and now know what exists outside of the fence, and you heard me and know the truth about what the video does not tell. After all this, you still believe that Jeanine did everything she has done for pleasure?
- That isn't relevant - Tori says, energetically. -This does not justify her actions in any way.
- All she ever wanted was to prevent us from the people outside -I exclaimed with a louder voice than hers. - She was alone with a terrible secret, being tormented by it day after day. I don't deny that she used extreme and arguably wrong means, but they were the only means she had at hand. She did absolutely nothing because she wanted to, but because she felt she needed.
- This is the most ridiculous speech I've ever heard in my life ... - muttered Tori.
I closed my eyes trying to ignore her. To ignore anything to take away my attention.
- You know? In the second fight we had, soon after I awake in her bed, when my hate for her dominated every part of me, she told me I did not know anything about her. I did not know what was the real despair, what was to be a prisoner. And I came to the conclusion that she was right. I did not know any of that. All of you didn't know either, but now know. And after all, you really think Jeanine is the biggest problem? If you want real justice, then they break the fence and bring David here. Because for every drop of blood that is in the hands of Jeanine, there is a river of blood at the hands of David.
The silence was absolute. After I spoke, I realized I was out of breath. There were beads of sweat running down my face, and I felt an extreme tiredness, unusual. As if I had just run two kilometers without stopping. The truth serum. Maybe they had applied me a very high dose.
-Tris? Are you alright? - Tobias asked in anguish.
I just shook my head in a positive way, and ran my hands over his face. I felt exhausted.
-Her arguments can not be considered -said Lynn. -She's in love and beside herself. She is using emotional blackmail to try to moves us, you may not realize it? She is distorting Jeanine's image before us, as if she were the victim, not the culprit.
Jack and Johanna exchanged a look of sorrow, and I already knew what was going to happen.
I took a deep breath, feeling the temperature of my body more low as ever. As if someone had injected cold water in my veins.
- I just want to say one more thing -I was startled by the sound of my own voice. It seemed wrong coming from me. It sounded dangerous and threatening, and I knew that those present could also notice it. -And this is not an argument, it's just a fact: Jeanine and I are part of a single package. Thus, if condemn her, don't waste your time absolving me.
The first voice that I heard after that surprised me.
- What? - Shouted Tobias - Tris, what are you saying?
- Exactly what you heard -I realized that I sounded just like Jeanine.
- No! - cried my mother, surprising everyone, even me. -No one will touch my daughter! Before you hurt her, you have to go through me.
The expression on her face contained a fury that I never had seen in her.
I let myself be involved in her love, but just it. I could not give myself the luxury of being weakened. All I needed was force. As hard as I could get inside me.
- Mother ... - I whispered. -This choice is mine. You don't need to get involved.
- If you can risk your life for someone you love, - she said - I think I have the same right.
So I see my father and Caleb stand beside her.
- No one will touch them - he said. - Nor my wife, nor my daughter. I'm still Abnegation Leader, even though it isn't Marcus.
Caleb said nothing, but stood protectively in front of my mother. I remembered when he had invaded Jeanine's house to save me. Of how he had risked his life many times for me. I never realized how much I loved him.
Christina looked at me angrily. Her eyes seemed to give me a reprimand, but also seemed worry for my life. She sent an apologetic look at Will and ran to my family. Tobias followed her, and the two reinforced the line formed by my parents and Caleb.
- I believe you know my opinion about it, Tris.
I saw Will's face turn pale. His eyes widened and he immediately ran to the side of Christina.
- I'm sorry ... but I will not stand idly by while someone try to kill my girlfriend.
- William! - Shouted Cara, putting in front of Will. - I have no sympathy for Jeanine, but if kill Jeanine means to kill my brother, then I will fight beside him.
Jack and Johanna looked at the scene with unbelieving eyes, and I should have the same expression of them. I realized than my friends had become an army. An army of people willing to give a life for others. Protecting me, and thus, protecting Jeanine.
For the first time during this trial, Jack and Johanna seemed powerless.
- Justice must be done. - Jack said.
- Not at any cost! - screamed Johanna - Can not you see? This will become a bloodbath! I will not allow it.
- You are a very wise person. - Said a voice from the doorway, and everyone turned to look at her. - It is better to hear the girl, because she won't let anyone to hurt Jeanine idly.
- Who are you? - Tobias asked, confused and shocked.
- My name is Angela - the woman replied, taking a step ahead. -I want you to hear what I have to say.
…
Jack and Johanna looked resigned to the woman in the corner, who watched it all without even blinking.
-I understand that I must be under a serum that force me to tell the truth, right? - the woman asked, although I knew that she knew the method.
-What you would win from all this? - without restraint Jack asked.
-If you want to be sure of my answers should inject me first -she answered.
That woman was frightening in a way that Jeanine never was. Jeanine always had stiff face, without any emotion, with a slight expression of severity. Angela looked at everyone as if she were a child watching ants. She took my place, and I went with the others. My mother put a hand on my shoulder and Tobias took my hand tightly. The gesture was unexpected, but it comforted me a little.
Jack injected Angela in the neck. The woman barely moved.
-What is your name? - asked Johanna.
-Angela Roth.
-Who are you? - asked Jack. He had decided to stand.
-I am the head of the Association for the Rights of Non-Pure. Currently, one could say that we are in a kind of Cold War with the Bureau, as Beatrice Prior said before.
-Explain yourself better -said Johanna.
-The situation outside the fence is delicate. We can not afford to admit openly conflict with the Bureau. This is a silent war.
Jack and Johanna looked each other again.
-Why should we spare the lives of Jeanine Matthews? - Jack asked. He suddenly looked very tired.
-Because without her, most of you had already died years ago.
To my surprise, there was not one word of surprise or disbelief. Only a stunned silence.
-The number of "divergents" increased twenty years ago. For twenty years, the Bureau tries to get into the city, looking for some crack. But with Jeanine here they could never achieve. She had not had her Choosing Ceremony when she was stuck in this. That says a lot about a girl of fifteen, right? -she rested her chin on her hand.
Jack and Johanna were thoughtful, without let see any emotion.
-That's something hard to believe - slowly Johanna said.
-As Beatrice Prior said before: I am under the Truth Serum- withdrew her hand and placed it on her lap. -She received special training since she was two years -and her gaze fell. -Erudite Leader of that time and the technology leader sought to create a weapon who was a threat to the Bureau. They did it, right?
Angela turned and stared at Tori.
-Or at least that was until Miss Wu had the bright idea of trying to kill her.
-She is a killer -Tori replied. -Say what you want about it. Put the excuses you want, you and Jeanine's pet -Tori looked at me as if she felt disgust for me. -At the end of the day, she remains the same: A killer, a psycho, and a monster.
-I understand you did it in revenge for your brother George Wu ...- Angela continued as if it had not happened. -I bet you will feel really stupid when you know he's alive.
Tori's face changed for the first time. It became somewhat disfigured, with a look of pure anger and confusion and bottom of all, hope.
-Many of his alleged victims are outside, in the Bureau -she continued. - Today George is one of the David's assistants, as Amar- she turned to Tobias. He squeezed my hand so that hurt me.
- Th-that can't be real ...
-Truth Serum, Miss Wu. I am rather tired of repeating.
And that's when the silence was broken and a thousand voices began to murmur deafeningly.
To know that Jeanine had not been responsible for the death of George Wu and Four's friend made me feel knocked out, and stupidly happy. My Jeanine. My strong, intelligent, beautiful, and emotionally damaged Jeanine was not a monster. I knew it, and now everyone knew it too.
I gave a sigh of relief that I never knew I was holding.
-And if that does not convince you that she should not die, you must know that she and I have a vow - Angela began to smile, with her bright smile and creepy at the same time. -If one of the two dies of unnatural way, the other has the obligation to exercise revenge. It is a relief that Tori failed to kill her, right? - Tori did not answer, was unable to do so. - But if you two decide to execute on behalf of the city ... Well, in that way, I'll have to kill you all, it would be a shame given what it costed to Jeanine keep the city safe. But there would be no other option... - Angela seemed to think a moment. - Naturally Beatrice Prior would live, I think it's rude to kill the girlfriend of your best friend.
- She's ... she's a psychopath! As Jeanine! We must condemn her too! So that's the justice in this city? Acquit an assassin under threat of another?
Tori continued to shout words of revolt and indignation, but no one was watching her. Everyone was looking at Angela, as if she were a nuclear bomb.
- I will not allow another war! - shouted Johanna. - If there is no other way ... let Jeanine live.
Jack sighed and sat down at the table, looking as exhausted as ever.
- Declare acquitted Beatrice Prior and Jeanine Matthews.
There were murmurs in the room, cries of revolt, looks of hatred at me, but I did not care. Jeanine was safe, just like me. The Truth Serum still burned in my veins, and I had the feeling I could sleep in the floor, but the adrenaline kept me standing. I was embraced by several people at once. My father, my mother, Caleb, Christina, Will, Cara.
When finally they let me, Tobias was several meters behind me. I approached him and touched his hand. I didn't know what I was going to speak, but I needed to say something.
I took a deep breath, fighting the pain in my heart to see him so hurt.
- Tobias ...
- You do not have to say anything, Tris.
- Please Tobias ...
- I know everything. I know why you are always running away from me. It was her. I am wrong?
I shook my head as a tear ran down my face.
- No, you're not wrong.
- In this case, I just hope you know what you are doing, Tris.
He applied a kiss in my front and went, not looking my eyes. I didn't have much time to following him and try to explain again. As soon as he walked away, I felt a hand on my shoulder. Looking back, I saw the faces of my father and my mother.
- You're not going to die for anyone, do you hear me? I forbid you it! - my father told me, pale and angry.
My mother and I looked up in surprise. We had a moment of silence ... and then we both started laughing.
God, it was not a happy laugh. It was a nervous laugh, the laugh of when you've been through a terrifying moment. My father looked us puzzled, what made us laugh more. Finally he regained some color on his skin, but he didn't laugh with us.
When my mother and I stopped laughing, she had tears in her eyes and my stomach hurt. People looked at us with something like fear. Now everyone will think the Priors are crazy, great.
-You two are my strenght - I could not resist and hugged my parents. If ever there was a time to do so, it was this. - I love you, mom and dad, with all my heart…
My father opened his mouth.
-But if I ever hear again the words "self-indulgent", "selfishness" and "project-to-outside", I will jump out the window - I finished, smiling.
My father closed his mouth.
-I think you will not miss those words -said my mother smiling.
I looked at the two, feeling absurdly happy that simply were there. I guess it was a primary instinct, to feel relieved that your parents were there and supported you. At that time, my happiness was almost complete.
-Jeanine - I said, leaving smiling.
-My name is Andrew- replied my father, still some resented by our laughter.
-No, now that the judgement ended someone else may try to attack her. I have to go with her soon!
Briefly hugged my mother and kissed my father, and went out at a fast pace to take the hallway and out of the building.
…
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