Quagsire

On the mantle of the fireplace, there was a display case that held a number of military metals. They were shown off proudly, to anyone who even glanced in their direction. The recipients of those medals were an old man with rough brown skin and white hair and a Quagsire with faded skin and blue fur. But no matter how old they got, the man stayed tough and active while the Pokemon hummed and swam in the backyard pool daily.

A pair of six-year-old boys looked over the medals with awe. "So you and Quaggy were in the war, grandpa?" one asked excitedly.

"Of course we were," the old man said, sitting down in his favorite rocking chair. "We were in the navy, on the battleship S.S. Daunting. We were among the best."

The other twin looked over at Quaggy the Quagmire, who was swaying to some song in his head. "But Quaggy? He doesn't do anything; how could he fight in a war?"

The old man sniffed. "He's just fooling you. He may look like he's got noting on his mind, and sometimes he hasn't, but threaten him or someone he cares about and he becomes one mean fighter. Did I ever tell you about the time he sunk a battleship?"

"He sunk a battleship?"

"Darn right he did. It started during the Battle of Duke Island, and I had his Apricorn ball at my side… see, when I caught Quaggy as a kid, we didn't have no cheap as nails Pokeballs available. Nope, they were still trying to figure 'em out for mass production, so if we wanted a Pokemon all our own, we had to grow the Pokeballs! That's right, you got an Apricorn seed and buried it and, if you were attentive and lucky, it grew a bush. And that bush would produce Apricorns.

"But, it wasn't so easy as just picking them off the bsh. No, you had to properly dry it and then take it to a professional carver, who would transform it into a primitive type Pokeball. But since the process took so long, you better darn well hope that you caught the one you want, cause it'd be at least another day, if you had another dried Apricorn, in order to get another ball. And I knew I wanted a Quagsire, so I took extra caution and saved up ten of the Apricorn balls."

"But what about the battleship being sunk?" one of the twins asked.

"I'm getting to it," the old man grumbled. "Gosh darn kids; I ought to talk to your mother about teaching you not to interrupt your elders. Now, where was I?"

"The battleship?" one of them asked hopefully.

"No, no, I'm getting there. The Apricorns! We boys had all sorts of superstitions about what would make sure the ball got the Pokemon you waned, especially if it was something you'd be hiking and camping for months trying to get access to. Like you put them under your pillow on the night of a full moon, or you sprinkled it with water from a sacred pond, or you prayed when you threw it…"

…

"And so we got into basic training and Quaggy was first put down as a dopey looking Pokemon. I was so mad, but he was, how you kids would say, chill about it. He let those insults slide right past him like water off a duck's back. So I did my best to be like him, but I gotta admit, I was always something of a hair trigger kind of person."

The twins, now eight years old, listened reluctantly as their grandfather continued telling the story. It always was like this; he never got to the point about the Quagmire sinking a battleship. Really, they'd rather be outside playing, but it was icy and snowy out there and their mother wouldn't let them go out. So they were pretty much captive by the fireplace in listening to their grandfather's stories. Quaggy stayed by his partner's side, humming away as usual.

"And then came a part in training for those of us who were coming in with our own Pokemon. The other guys had to go catch their own, but we got thrown into the routine right away. Like every day, we had to cross five miles with the Pokemon in accordance to how it preferred to move. Which, for me, meant swimming five miles in a pool every day. That was rough, but I tell you, I'm still one of the strongest swimmers alive today, especially at my age. I could outpace any of you youngsters. And the other guys all made fun of my Quaggy, but he just smiled and kept on trucking."

…

"Oh, and there was the day of my date with Jill that I'll never forget," the old man said, cheering up after the last patch of story.

The ten-year-old twins were a bit restless. They were supposed to be getting their first Pokemon on this trip, not listening to silly romance stories. "But what about the battleship?" one dared to ask.

"Stop interrupting," their grandfather snapped. "I'm getting there."

"Hmm, hmmm hmm hmmm," the Quagmire hummed.

"Yes, that date I'll never forget" he said, sitting back in his rocking chair and smiling. "I borrowed a rowboat and took her out onto a lake. We let our Pokemon swim in the lake, since we figured they'd leave us alone. So we got out there and talked, flirted, even kissed some. It was a lovely day, so warm and perfect. And then Quaggy, minding his own business and not paying attention to where he was going, swam right into the side of the rowboat and made us capsize.

"Well Jill screamed and I did my best to get over to her and grab her, to keep her above the surface. She sputtered and was mad for a bit, but let me tell you, the dress she was wearing that day, when it got wet, it…"

"Dad!" the twins' mother said sharply, turning red.

The old man laughed. "Okay, okay. Let's just say that I got the boat back upright and helped her get dry. Then I realized that I'd lost something in the water, something that was very important. I panicked, but then Quaggy came up to us again and handed me a little black box. Yes, he'd retrieved the ring I meant to propose to Jill with. With that back in hand, I asked her to forgive me, gave her the box, and asked her to marry me. She didn't quite say yes, but…" he glanced at his daughter.

She narrowed her eyes at him.

"Well, let's just say she said yes."

…

The room was pretty quiet. The twins, now twelve, were playing Battleship in order to pas the time. Over in his rocking chair, their grandfather seemed to be asleep. Quaggy was there humming as usual, but this time the elderly Pokemon was joined by a younger pair of Quagmires that the twins had trained up. Despite the fact that the stories about Quaggy never went anywhere, they'd heard enough that they had both decided to use them as well.

Then their grandfather stirred, looked around. He started talking, "So there I was, captured by the enemy and being held on their battleship. It was in the heat of battle, so they weren't able to take me below decks at first.

The two boys looked over, then at each other. The three Quagmires kept humming a round.

"Anyhow, I heard a thump behind me. After making sure my captors were busy with other things, I glanced down and saw Quaggy in the waters, looking up at me. I mouthed at him to go do something abut the ship's engines or rudders. And he obeyed, going over and chucking mud into the ships propellers. With a bit of daring-do, I cut the ropes biding my hands, then undid the ones on my ankles. Just before they noticed me, I jumped the railing and went overboard.

"As I've said, I was a strong swimmer, but even the ocean was a challenge for a navy man like me. So Quaggy came over to me and helped me get away from the enemy ship. And we hadn't gone a hundred yards when something exploded. I felt that shockwave throughout my body, but thankfully it didn't hurt anything. We kept swimming, but when I glanced behind me, there were giant plumes of smoke and fire on the front of that battleship. Turns out that Quaggy messed up their steering so much that they ran into one of the sea mines they were placing. That first blast ripped into their storage area, starting fires that quickly set off their other mines, bombs, and torpedoes. By the time we got back to the S.S. Daunting for rescue, the enemy battleship had taken so much damage that it sunk. And that's how Quaggy got his Silver Star medal, for causing the battleship to sink."

"That was an awesome story, grandpa," one of the twins said, smiling.

"Yeah, but do you have to take six years to tell them?" the other asked.

"I did not take six years to tell that story!" the old man insisted. "I tell my stories properly, not like you kids and your texting ciphers. Good lord, before long, none of you are going to be able to spell properly. Anyhow, did I ever tell you boys about how me and Quaggy earned the Gold Star medal?"

They weren't too sure about that, but he went ahead and started his story up again.

...

Quagsire Fire Red entry: Due to its relaxed and carefree nature, it often bumps its head on boulders and boat hulls as it swims.

Happy Veteran's Day!