SORRY I was not able to update yesterday, I was super busy and I had a lot of home work to do. I had been putting it off because is was my vacation, and I get back to school on Tuesday. So here is the next chapter, and I hope you enjoy it. Updates won't always be on Saturdays and they might come in two week intervals, but hopefully I can avoid that.

I DON"T OWN STAR TREK

I had been released from med bay after Jim had, for he used the excuse "I'm the Captain and I have work to do.", and "Bones, I know you are only keeping me here so you can stab me with a hypo."

I on the other hand, was not so lucky.

Jim had suffered a ruptured appendix, a sprained ankle and some lacerations and bruises that didn't need stitching. The plant had kept him from sustaining any life threatening injuries, which was fortunate.

I on the other hand, was a bit less banged up, and out of the realm of fatal wounds. I had a fractured sternum, which healed quickly thanks to Doctor McCoy's medical expertise. Several cuts on my arms due to the rough grip of that Klingon, and a slightly black and blue eye that was healed by a epidermal regenerator. McCoy kept me for what I believed was torture, but he claimed that I had been in the med bay far too many times and he wanted to make sure I rested up until I got injured again. This led to a slight dispute between us that was not resolved until the afternoon he finally let me out.

"Finally!" I said, slightly melodramatic as he gave me my clothes to change into, "I was starting to believe you were holding me prisoner."

McCoy rolled his eyes at me.

"Oh, please, if I wanted to hold you prisoner I would have chained you to the bed."

A moment of silenced passed between us as we both realized how his sentence had come out. He blinked, probably embarrassed but it didn't show. I laughed awkwardly, trying to stifle it with my hand and regain proper behavior.

"Doctor McCoy, I hope we won't ever come to that." He rolled his eyes again, and I feared they would get stuck looking at the ceiling if he rolled them anymore.

"Children, I am surrounded by children." He was no doubt referencing to Jim and I, but I could see some of the humor behind his gruff exterior.

Once I was changed and fit for duty, I headed down to the lab, which was thankfully empty. The remnants of the venom had been transferred to the security station on the lower deck, where it was safe from danger. Due to the venom being out of my hands, it also made my hands empty. Left to my own devices, I decided to start studying another plant specimen. It was nowhere near as interesting as the other plant.

I worked, worked until it was late into the evening, but there was no sign of Spock. I wasn't worried, though. Just curious as to why he would not show up without telling me. He could have at least left a message, and it didn't seem like him to not do so. He hadn't sustained many injuries with the Klingons, he was in the med bay briefly before leaving healthily.

That bothered me slightly, for he had not even felt the need to visit and tell me what he was studying in the lab now that the other plant was not in our hands. I was somewhat embarrassed for wanting him to visit me; he had no urgent need to and I was not of urgent importance to him.

A week passed by, and I still hadn't seen Spock. I knew he was on the ship though, if not I would have known, seeing as he was the first science officer. I would have been notified if something happened.

This led me to two conclusions. The first being he had become too busy on the bridge that he was not able to join me in the lab for our sessions. But I knew this wasn't true. He would have told me, got in touch somehow and explained he would not be able to continue our lab time for the time being. He wouldn't just flat out ignore me because it, or I, wasn't important enough to notify he had no time. However, he was a Vulcan and I knew how they could be. Seemingly cold, standoffish, so logical that what seemed rational to them may not seem that way to humans. That was the sole reason I kept that theory in check.

The second conclusion is that he simply didn't want to be around me. Spock and I worked together; we were colleagues and nothing more than that. He was a senior commander, older than I and holding a higher rank. I worked below him; therefore it was not appropriate for him to be brushing strands of hair from my face or for me to want to kiss him. Even if I were to want a relationship between us, I knew for sure he did not. He needed a Vulcan mate, one that he could marry and have a normal Vulcan life with. I was a human and therefore not a suitable mate. Regardless of mating and relationships aside, if Spock and I were to share romantic feelings we would immediately be separated and placed on different ships. The Federation frowned upon situations like this. It impeded one's ability to do work and there was a possibility of people's lives being put at risk. I would not risk my own and Spock's post or rank for this. If he were to notice the feelings I felt for him, if there were at all, he would no doubt put a barrier between us to avoid any risk.

This made me contemplate on what was between us, if there was anything at all. I pondered it as I cleaned lab equipment slowly. I didn't love Spock. From Uhura's warning though, that was a good thing. As said numerous times, he was a Vulcan and needed a Vulcan mate. Affection for him would only lead to unnecessary heartbreak and hurt. As much as part of my brain wanted to swear off Spock and ignore these feelings I had though, the other part of my mind was reminding me of the times we were in a close proximity, how soothing it was in his presence. The way his hand made my head buzz when he brushed a strand of hair behind my ear. The relaxing affect he had when he leaned over my shoulder in the lab.

Spock still hadn't arrived, even as my shift came to a close and I began to pack up my supplies. Though I was somewhat let down that he hadn't shown, I also felt a bit irritated. We had our sessions, sessions we had arranged a long time ago. We never missed them, we were punctual, and I always attended unless I was stuck in the med bay. I knew Spock was not in the med bay. So why had he not even bothered to tell me he couldn't attend, why didn't he just leave me a message or tell me over the communicator, instead of ignoring me and then proceeding to practically blow me off?

I tried to push back the irritation and hurt I felt as I left the lab and walked back to my quarters quickly. Several crew members were going onto the beta shift, taking over for the alpha shift. Though the halls were bustling with activity, I had a hope I could make it to my quarters without running into anyone who would want to talk. I had almost succeeded in my goal when the Captain's voice called my name. I didn't sigh deeply in defeat like I wanted to, but my sluggish demeanor was obvious to the captain.

"Evening, Stella. Are you alright?" He skipped the small talk and cut out the formalities. I knew he was exhausted, and that meant he was too lazy to waste breath on rank. He fell into step with me as the stream of crew members became smaller and the next shift drew near. His blonde hair was somewhat messy but his blue eyes still held there friendly but intense gaze. I knew he cared about the crew, but right now I was not in the mood to share every detail of my romantic feelings I had toward his first officer. So I offered the generic response.

"I'm just tired Captain."

"Call me Jim."

I nodded at his casual request. It was not the first time he had asked me (or any other crew member for that matter) to do that. He seemed unconvinced but held that all knowing gaze he always had, like he could see through you, call any bluff you have, or just plain look smug. But all of that meant he usually gave pretty good advice, except when it came to women. I had learned from McCoy and some other male crew members that Jim should not be trusted when it came to the opposite sex. However, this situation might have been the exception.

"Spock was on the bridge with me today. Wouldn't even leave his station when his shift ended."

I fought the urge to rub my temples, and began to wonder if he was trying to make me feel better by telling me where the man that blew me off decided to go instead. When I didn't speak, he continued.

"He's been acting a little bit different since you got your voice back. I don't know if there is something between you guys, but if there is, I know what he's trying to do."

I still didn't know what to say, I didn't know how to respond. I was a bit embarrassed to be talking about something like this with him, but I knew he took this a serious manner. Spock was a close friend, and he didn't want either of us to get hurt. But I thought I would be the only one getting hurt, seeing as Spock was trying to distance himself from me. I also was questioning what Jim meant by what Spock was trying to do, as if there was a reason for avoiding me. Spock was enigmatic, a confusing swirl of emotion or the attempt to rid himself of them. Jim continued to speak when I remained quiet.

"He doesn't want to feel what he is feeling. So, he's trying to avoid you so he doesn't. I can't tell him to go and love you, if that's what he really feels. But I know that you make him feel emotions, and he doesn't like that."

I felt a bit annoyed by that statement, but I knew I shouldn't. Jim was right, and if Spock really did feel anything towards me, he would immediately push them down and bury them.

I gave myself another harsh reality check.

Spock probably didn't even feel the way I thought he felt was. The feelings he "felt" were a result of all the inappropriate contact we made, and in an effort to avoid us ever touching again, he was trying to be as far away from me as possible. He didn't feel anything towards me the way I felt towards him. I was being delusional with the thoughts of an impossible romance. Being a child with a silly school girl crush on a popular boy in school.

"Jim, I don't think that's the right deduction." I said, and he looked at me with a slightly incredulous stare. He opened his mouth but I continued.

"The relationship between Commander Spock and I is completely professional and if he chooses to not attend our daily lab sessions, so be it. If he wants to avoid me, then he will. And I assure you he does not feel anything significant towards me, and the same goes for me towards him."

Jim didn't say anything; I could tell he was slightly confused and maybe a bit aggravated by what I had said but I didn't regret what words I chose. I was trying to be honest with myself, and saying the words out loud would only reaffirm what I was trying to convince myself of.

"Stella, I have known Spock for a while now. I can tell, Stella, that Spock cares for you, more than he would for just another crew member with a professional relationship."

He put emphasis on 'professional' as if calling the bond I had with Spock was not just such. The hallways were becoming emptier and emptier as we walked. I didn't know where Jim was going with this, or what he thought would change by telling me Spock had feelings for me but didn't want to admit it. I knew nothing would change. Spock wasn't exactly the type to express his feelings and apologize profusely for pushing me away. I could almost laugh at the thought.

We were nearing my quarters, which Jim seemed to know because he wrapped up the conversation.

"Just give him time and don't pressure him. I know you wouldn't do that, though." Kirk flashed me a wide grin as I stopped in front of my door. His infectious smile made my own mouth curve up as I nodded.

"Goodnight, Jim." I said, and he took off down the empty corridor. I wasted no time preparing for bed and slipping under the covers.

I had known Jim since the day I was assigned to the ship. I didn't know him personally, but I knew of him; it was hard not to. I had gotten my assignment after the Enterprise had been repaired from the Nero accident and the destruction of Vulcan. What he done had earned him several medals and the title of Captain, the youngest one to ever command a star ship. He truly was remarkable, even if at times he seemed like a teenager in a man's body. That's what made him so intriguing; so many facets to one man, so many personalities describing one mind. He could be wise and valiant and intelligent, or silly and womanizing and prone to saying the wrong things at the wrong time. But that was what made him a great captain and a loyal friend.

His advice was usually silly or so ridiculous (at least when it came to women), that taking it would seem like a risky move to anyone who didn't know him that well. However, as I felt myself becoming sleepier and nearing sleep, the words he had said before were beginning to make some sense, at least in the aspect of Spock finding it difficult to comprehend his emotions.

What Jim had said left me many thoughts and many questions. There were not many answers.

The next week passed and still no communication with Spock. The feelings I had first, the initial annoyance and hurt slowly faded into a small ache in my heart that was not noticeable unless I truly focused on why he didn't want to be around me.

Then, I was pinched.

Not literally, but in the sense I was pinched and woken up from a silly dream. Despite what Jim had told me, that Spock had feelings but couldn't show them easily, I knew I was acting like a silly lovesick girl. It was probably to a point where it was even embarrassing, that I was pining after an indifferent man, my senior commander at that. The feelings of hurt disappeared almost completely after I gave myself a slap on the wrists and a strict set of rules to follow. More or less, they were along the lines of to not think about any officer, senior or junior, romantically in anyway and to stop thinking about Commander Spock in anyway other than a commander. He was to be respected, not adored.

My work at slowed to a busy yet manageable pace, different from what had been going on in the past couple of weeks regarding the plant. I was back to examining average plants, ones already known to the Federation. It may have been boring sometimes but I knew a break was needed. This snail-like pace had a downside however. It gave me too much free time to think about Commander Spock, something I was really trying not to do. We had had no interaction since the Klingon infiltration, and it was weeks until I did see him.

It was as I was finishing my work in the lab, preparing to finish for the day and head back to my quarters. He had stood at the door for who knows how long, silently, until I finally turned to leave. His presence startled me in more than one way.

When I didn't say anything, he did.

"Good evening Lieutenant, have you finished your work for the day?"

First, slight shock. Then, irritation, followed by the reminder I was about to have a small seizure in front of the Commander. I stood up straighter and nodded.

"Yes, Commander, I just completed preparing the lab for the next shift. " I used rank just as he had, hoping to show him that his blunt disregard for our sessions didn't affect me in the way it had. I knew that those things were not linked however I pretended they were. I assumed it was an effect of my silly love sick phase and the silly heart broken feelings I held afterward.

He didn't say anything at first, as I began to walk past him. At this point, I didn't care what he had to say, whether if it was an explanation or an apology, or something unrelated to that. I simply didn't care, and I suppose that was a good thing. I was two steps out the door when he said something.

"Lieutenant, assuming you are departing for your quarters, I would like to discuss some matters with you."

I turned back to look at him, suddenly angered by him for reasons inexplicable. I knew in the back of my mind that all he had done was blow off our sessions, maybe because he was busy doing things for the Captain. But his pointed ears and his elegant eye brows and his dark eyes seemed to irritate me and look lovely at the same time.

"Commander, I will have to deny that request. It is getting late and I do believe we both have early shifts."

He didn't say anything, maybe because he didn't expect that answer. A small wave of smugness washed over me, as if I were victorious in taking him off guard. Oh, boy was I wrong. His words tripped me off my feet.

"Lieutenant, I feel as though we have important matters to discuss. If you would allow me spare minutes of your time, I see it fit for me to accompany you."

What he had actually said didn't confuse me, it was the way he said it. He sound annoyed, as if me denying his request was equivalent to raking my nails down a chalk board after he had told me to stop. And along with that, his words had a bite. The way he spoke stung me more than it should have; after all, I had only told him, respectfully, if I may add, that I did not want him to walk with me. That was my first clue what had to speak about was going to be troubling for him, and he wanted to get it out now when his emotions were calmer.

Seeing as I could not flat out deny his request, I nodded slowly. We began to walk down the corridors, already empty as the new shifts changed. He was a few small paces ahead of me, his posture as in line as he himself was. I decided to wait until he spoke, not wanting to spend time with small talk. We turned a corner and he finally spoke.

"Lieutenant, I would like to apologize for not attending our usual lab sessions. I have not been available as of late and I am aware I was not in contact with you. I apologize if I caused any inconvenience."

I was expecting that, however I was expecting it to sound a bit less sincere than he did. Once again reminding myself to not act childish, I nodded.

"It's alright, Commander, there was no inconvenience at all." I sounded quieter, even though I was aiming for a more confident tone. It wasn't the first time my voice had failed me however it bothered me as it usually did when I was too quiet.

Spock looked at me plainly, slowing down slightly so our footsteps matched. His long strides easily outmatched mine so he seemed to walk a bit slower than my smaller steps. He looked away from me and was quiet again for a few more moments.

"I am also aware that you have spoken with the Captain."

He didn't say what they had spoken about but it was quite obvious what he was referring to. His voice was level but I could tell a hint of something. I couldn't tell what it was. My first assumption was that Jim, being such good friends with Spock, had talked to Spock about his "feelings" for me. I could only imagine how embarrassed Spock was, in a Vulcan sort of way. Although it was probably nowhere near the feelings of mortification that came over me. My only hope was that Jim didn't tell Spock about everything we had spoken about. I straightened my posture slightly.

"Yes, the Captain confronted me the other day while in the hall. It was on arbitrary matters however."

Spock didn't change, at least nothing I could sense. A few moments passed of us walking through the hallway as our foot falls sounded only on two pairs of ears.

"Lieutenant, I was informed of the matters discussed, and I deem it logical for us to halt in our weekly sessions."

I continued walking, but my thoughts were going much faster than my feet. He wanted to stop our sessions? Is that what he had to say? I wanted to ask why, but I knew the answer. In a situation like this, where two officers had doubts of a romantic affair, it was logical, to prevent any such happening. But I didn't think he would just flat out stop our sessions!

It hurt, like his choice was directly a reflection on me. I knew it wasn't however it didn't stop the feeling.

I was going to ask why, and I stopped myself. I was going to spare myself the embarrassment.

"Alright, Commander. I understand your decision." I wasn't really sure I did.

He turned his head down and looked at me; his eye brows raised ever so slightly in what anybody could tell was his way of showing surprise. Not completely, but somewhat confused by my answer. Unexpected? Maybe.

"Is this going to be an issue, Lieutenant? I understand another science officer would be assigned to your research operations however our speech therapy sessions will discontinue. Is it correct to assume you will need another tutor?"

Okay. That upset me.

More than saying he basically didn't want to be around me. More than making it obvious he didn't return the same feelings I had for him. But the fact that he brought my voice into this was irritating to a point where it disguised itself with a biting and forced tone as I tried to hide it.

"No, I think I will manage just fine without one." My words came out a bit sharp, and he noticed, I could tell by the way his brows lowered down to their normal height but seemed to drop even lower. Like he had just done something he didn't want to say.

It wasn't the first time he had done this, made that face when he wasn't aware he was doing so. I wasn't going to pay attention to it though. He brought on a personal topic, one I had willingly spoken to him about, and now he wants to worry about where I would find another teacher because he was trying to ignore me? I was insulted to say the least.

We had reached my quarters, the rest of our walk consisting of him glancing down at me every few minutes, my exasperated attitude, and my cheeks probably reddened from feelings I felt. It was a relief when we finally reached my quarters.

"Good night, Commander." I said, and I turned to punch in the code. I knew it was rude, to turn my back on a senior in command however I felt justified in doing so. Realizing how childish that sounded, yet again, I turned back around and slowly faced him, his face calm. His stature seemed much taller again, and I shuffled back an inch slowly. I waited for him to say something but he didn't for another few seconds. Just when I was about to ask him why had chosen to talk about this now, he spoke.

"Lieutenant, I trust this will not interfere with your work or daily functions?" He said calmly.

The vexed feelings that were just about to rest were resurfacing yet again.

"Yes, Commander, it will not be an issue and I can't find a good reason why it ever would be."

I regretted the words but yet I was proud of them, as if I inadvertently told him I didn't care if I never saw him. I didn't mean to sound so dignified or sassy; however it was a side effect of my annoyance with him. He quirked an eye brow but I wasn't completely sure he was amused. I swallowed and nodded slightly.

"If that's all, Commander, I should be going to bed." I said quietly, lowering my head slightly as if it was penance for my disrespect. I was acting so childish and yet the feelings still remained; my feelings for him, and the feelings of not working with him anymore or being under his guidance. I was still hurt and angry despite the logical choice he had made, and that was I was acting like a teenager.

Spock nodded his head slowly.

"Good night, Lieutenant." He took off, and I finished the code quickly.

The emotions, from my sister, my voice, to him not wanting to be around me and not reciprocating the feelings I felt; it hurt, in a childish silly way but it still hurt and I was heartbroken, or it felt like it.

I slipped into bed quickly after I had gotten undressed out of my uniform. The bed lacked the qualities of warmth and comfort that it usually held. My sleep was not as deep as I would have liked. It felt like I was swimming in a pool but it was too shallow for swimming. Rest was not achieved that night.

So there it is! I really hope you liked it and I AM sorry to anyone who wanted them to start a relationship sooner. I just wanted to depict Spock in character and in order to do that I thought I should show the conflict he has with himself regarding Stella. I have another drafted chapter up but I was not able to write as much as I would have liked to over the vacation. But I did enjoy writing the two chapters.

I also would really like some people to PM me some ideas for the story. I also like when people ask me questions, whether or not they are related to the story. I am obsessed with being philosophical for funny stuff so if you want to have discussions on stuff or just questions, I will love to answer them!

Review and follow please! Thanks!