- For the last time Jeanine, no -I strongly held the two arms of the woman in front of me, preventing her from getting out of bed. -Why do you insist on making it so hard?
Jeanine's eyes take on a dangerous glint.
- Stop treating me like I was a child, Beatrice - Jeanine brings her hand to her injured abdomen and grimaces in pain. I roll my eyes and shake my head in disapproval. Why the hell did she have to be so stubborn?
- And you, stop acting like a child. You know very well that you should avoid any sudden movements until your body is healed.
- I do not know how much longer I can bear to be locked in that room, motionless. It's definitely against my nature.
- But you will endure long enough - I answer. -Even if I have to chain you here.
Jeanine sighs, defeated, and leans back on the pillow behind her head.
- Now could you finally tell me what happened while I was unconscious? It's the least you can do. Keep me prisoner in this way...
I change position, sitting down more comfortably next to her.
-It's a long story - I say. - There was a big uproar.
And then I start to tell her the story. From the moment she had been shot, until I almost killed Tori, the appearance of Angela, the charge of treason, meeting with my parents and friends, and finally the judgement. I not tell her, however, about Evelyn trying to kill her.
She hears the story in silence and with eyes fixed on mine. Her expression remains unchanged for most of the time, but when I talk about Angela her eyes widen, like she wanted to say something, but could not find words.
- At the end of all, Angela entered the judgement and 'persuaded' them to leave you alive. After all the things she said, Jack and Johanna realized that wasn't no other way.
Her face is calm, focused. Not in a peaceful and relaxed way, but in a way that lets me know she's furious.
- You threatened your own life so that they absolve me?
I press my lips and look into her eyes.
- What do you wanted me to do? Stay idly by while you were sentenced to death?
She seems to have no answer to that. Deep down, I know what she's thinking: She would do the same if she were in my place. She would not attend my death idly.
- But in the end it was not necessary. Angela closed the discussion with a few words.
Jeanine smiled for a second, though her smile have a twinge of sadness.
- She always gets what she wants with a few words.
- You know her from childhood, right? - My expression becomes serious. -She told me about ... the experiment.
The Jeanine's face closes in distress. That expression reminds me that she had when she slept, like she was having a nightmare. I expected her to say something, but she remains silent.
- Jeanine ... it's horrible. It's inhumane. You have been hurt physically and emotionally throughout your childhood. Your father trated you as the object of an experiment.
I can not contain the revolt in my words. Think about it cause me sick.
- And that's a great irony. - Jeanine replied - Because that's exactly what I did to you, right?
For a few seconds no one says anything, and we were just holding the look of another that uncomfortable silence. Jeanine is the first to look away and sigh.
- Angela is the only person I could call friend in my entire life. The only person who understands me completely.
- She scares me ...- I whisper. - Her eyes ... are too cold, too quiet. It's disturbing.
Jeanine smiled.
- That's what happens when you are meant to be a machine. You know, your friend William compare me to a "talking, walking computer" - she smiles sadly.
- This is not true - I say and take her hand - I'm sure that a computer would not be able to do it.
I approach her face and back my lips on hers. She takes a hand to my neck and deepens the contact. Her fingers creep into my neck, and a shiver runs through my body. The kiss lasts one minute, and in the end, I bite her lower lip.
She sighs and runs her fingers in my collarbone, in my tattoos. I feel a pleasant tingling on site.
- You're absolutely right.
I smiled and kissed her again.
- How are things out there? - Jeanine question now tense. - The video ... it was released?
I change position, to be able to look her in the eyes.
- Yes. Jack and Johanna issued it for the entire city - I see Jeanine's lips tighten into a rigid line. Her eyes narrows, and her expression is closed in a grimace of disgust.
-But you see, people not only know about the video, they also know the truth behind it.
- I do not see how it can make any difference.
- See ... soon after our judgment, when I was at your side at the hospital, Christina came to see me. She told me something about changes in government. For now, Jack and Johanna are the city leaders, and I believe that they will not allow our city be atacked so easily. And about the Bureau ... There is one thing I'd like to discuss with you. I have some ideas on how to solve this problem permanently.
Jeanine looked at me, her eyes shining with something that long ago I did not see in her face: curiosity.
- Ideas? What kind of ideas have you, Beatrice?
-First I want to know one thing: the cameras that have the Bureau throughout the city, have it documented all?
-Only the beginning - replied. - Before they took Erudite the transmission failed. I do not know why. Not that I'm complaining, it's horrible to know that these onlookers are 24 hours pending us - suddenly occurred to me a terrible idea, and she must have read it in my face. -No, there was never cameras in our house. Or rather, our bedroom.
She said "our." Jesus, how can she be so complicated and lovely at the same time? Too bad that love does not come with an instruction manual.
-Then they know nothing about the outcome of the judgement. They may not even know that there was a judgement. In other words, maybe don't know about us.
-Where are you getting at, Tris?
- They will trust me, in the end I am 100% pure. If I infiltrate, I could stop them from within.
Jeanine stood perfectly still. For a moment, I feared something was wrong ... until she started laughing. Then I knew for sure that something was wrong. I had heard the laughter of Jeanine before. This was not her good laugh, it was her bad laugh, her nervous laugh, frustrated, without a hint of humor. A laugh that hid despair.
-You have got to be kidding me ...- she said, leaving laugh.
-You heard my jokes before. Nothing makes you laugh- I answered seriously.
-Because you are not funny! You are so good making jokes as I am flying in the "Zip-line"!
-That isn't so difficult...
-Only if you want to crash my head against the wall at 120 km per hour.
-Jeanine, You know we're not talking about the Zip-line.
I held her shoulders softly. I was a little angry, but I tried to control my temper. It would not be good start to fight in the hospital. It would not be good for her. Maybe I should have waited to tell her my plan.
-You have got to stop doing that, Tris -she also grabbed my shoulders. - You have to stop to run to your enemy's lair in turn. The first time was a very satisfactory result ... but David is the opposite to me. He is a wolf in sheep's clothing.
I sighed.
- I know.
-No, you do not. Did you think my simulations were hard? Did you think I was totally nuts? David will greet you with a hand and nail a dagger with other. -she tried to keep her composure, but I learned to read her well. She was desperate. I felt her grip on my shoulders. No matter how much she tried to hide it. -At least I never pretended. My intentions were always clear. David is a master manipulator.
Her despair hurted me, part of me wanted to tell her it was okay, that this was a bad idea, we could forget it and think of another plan. But I couldn't do that. I couldn't give up the remote only chance we had. Because now I understand perfectly. I finally understood the things she said about the "greater good". She had been right all along, even though she used the wrong means. The Bureau was a threat.
- We need to try - I said quietly. -Otherwise, we never will stop David. I believe that you can't start another war for this. You has been suffering your whole life, you almost died. Do you want to give it all up now, having come so far for this?
- This is my business, Beatrice. Stay out of this.
- No, this is not only your business - I tried to control my voice every second, trying to stay calm despite it being almost impossible. - You wrapped me when you killed half of my faction. When you did Marlene to jump off a cliff. When you kept me prisoner to test your damn serums. Damn! What's more, when you made me fall in love with you, despite all this.
I regretted my words when I spoke. The pain on her face made me wanted to punch myself. Throw in her face all her sins had been low blow.
- Sorry - I whispered touching her hand. She didn't move one millimeter. - Oh my God, I'm sorry. All I mean is that I am also part of it now. You told me the truth, you allowed me to see one side of you that no one else is allowed to see. And I agree with you, Jeanine. I believe that the Bureau should be stopped as soon as possible. We need to try.
I looked at her face, her eyes were lost in the horizon, her lips were trembling.
- I can not ... - she whispered. - I can not handle the idea of you putting yourself in danger. I almost killed you with my own hands ... I could not bear to see you die at the hands of David.
- This will not happen - I insist - Jeanine ... we won't be reckless or stupids. Anything and everything we will do will be well thought out and calculated. Obviously we will need outside help. Angela can be a welcome help ... The most important thing is that we are together. You're the smartest person in the world... - she give me a small, brief smile - and I'm the divergent stronger here. I don't think we will be won easily.
- The reality is quite different from the stories of superheroes, Beatrice. And much more cruel.
- I know ... just promise me you'll think it, okay? That's enough for now.
Jeanine sighs.
- It's ok. I promise I will think about it. Just think, that's all I can promise.
-That's enough for now.
I lay in bed next to her, staring at the ceiling for a while. It wasn't the same as the glass ceiling, but I had to settle for the moment. There was still much for it to be over. That distant dream that was the time we were at home seemed unreal, a distant hallucination, almost a simulation.
The recriminations came out of my mouth without thinking. I saw her face, although she tried to downplay the issue. I gave her sins in her face. And that's not fair.
Sometimes I think I should create another Faction: Stupidity. I would be the leader.
I turned to see her. Her face was close to mine. From this position, I could very well see her round cheeks, her nose, the shadow beneath her lashes ... and three small imperceptible lines behind her cheek. Strangely I no longer felt guilty about it. My hand went alone to her face, and I don't remember having moved it. Nor do I remember started to kiss her under the chin.
-You have not told me anything uncertain - my girlfriend said.
I didn't answer, her neck demanded my attention.
-You have no reason to feel guilty, Beatrice. The sins are mine, you can not share the blame.
I pulled the basis of her hair to lift her head and I had better access to her neck.
-Think you in the Renaissance, Jean? -I whispered in her ear. -I do. Formerly, people were baptized to be reborn. I don't know if that method was very clean, but it worked. The blame was leaving -Finally my lips finished in an inch from hers, though I was more concentrated in her eyes. I could see the reflection of my eyes on hers. -Our worst enemy isn't David. The only thing that can destroy us, you and me, is the blame. - I rested my forehead on hers. - I will not allow blame destroys us.
- How blame is removed, Beatrice? - her eyes became a rainy day. -The blame increases. It's like a monster that kills you if you dare to look. Mine is too large.
-If the blame is a monster, then I have to save you - I smiled. -Again and again. I'll do it as many times as necessary - I stroked her cheek with my nose. -If we do this, I do not want blame in this relationship. Kill the blame. I'll help you to kill it - I kissed her nose. -We'll kill it together.
-Where you came, Tris?
This woman can't control me, but she can make me melt with just four words.
-Well ... first Mom met Dad, then the two were in a bar ...
-God, your jokes are horrible. And the story is not that way.
But she had a smile on her lips as kissed me.
And suddenly I don't matter too much her wounds, because I am opening the blanket on the bed to get inside it. Our kiss in calm and happy, playful, and I can not resist. I don't want to resist.
Jeanine took off my shirt, along with the guilt.