I wake up to a light tickling on my neck. I turn my head and Tobias is lying on his stomach asleep. Every time he exhales, a strand of my hair lightly rubs against my neck tickling me. I move my hair away from my face and study Tobias as he sleeps. He has a peaceful look on his face and a slight smile on his lips. I lean up and look over his shoulder at the clock. It's 10:22 a.m. It doesn't surprise me that we slept through breakfast as late as we were out last night. While I look at him I reminisce about yesterday – the fear landscape, getting ready for the party, the delicious supper and dessert, the dancing, almost having sex. My chest and stomach tighten at that thought.
His eyes flutter a bit then close again. I know he's waking up. I lay my hand on his cheek and his eyes open. He looks at me for a bit, confused, then smiles brightly. He rolls over onto his back and stretches.
"Good morning, Tobias," I say. I lean over and kiss him not caring about morning breath.
"Good morning, Tris," he says. "How did you sleep last night?" he asks, running his fingers through my messy curls.
"Perfectly wonderful with you by my side. I've missed you," I say hugging him tightly. "By the way Tobias, this bedroom is ours now. You sleep here."
"Are you sure about that?" he asks.
"Absolutely."
"Okay. Our bedroom, I like the sound of that. Hey, you told me before lunch yesterday that you had come to some conclusions but we never got a chance to talk about them. Can we talk now?"
"Sure. I was beating myself up over not understanding why I was pulling away from you after the drinking incident. I had a casual thought that if I knew for a fact whether or not you were still a part of my fear landscape it would make things better, in my head at least," I say. "I told you that you're still in my fear landscape but instead of being afraid to be with you, you're the one Jeanine wanted me to kill. When the simulation ended, I realized I was no longer scared to be with you and a weight lifted. I think I was holding on to the idea I was scared instead of actually being afraid. I decided then and there I was going to put our relationship back on the right track because I was hurting both of us. I found you a few minutes later with Zeke."
"So you really are Six now, huh?" he says still playing with my hair.
"Yeah, I guess I am." I reposition myself to lie across his chest with my chin lying on my folded hands so I'm looking directly in his eyes. "Tobias. About last night, I didn't plan that. I hope you know that. I didn't think I was ready until we were in the moment. If I had, we would have had birth control, which is something I think we should talk about."
"Are you sure, Tris? Remember we're in no hurry," he says.
"You're right, I'm not in any hurry. I don't want to rush this but there is something I do want, I want it to happen like it was going to happen last night. Totally unplanned, natural, no pressure, no deadlines. I want it to happen when it happens. And I am sorry I let it go so far last night. Until you mentioned birth control, I hadn't even given it a thought. All I knew was I'm in love with you and I wanted to experience every part of you." I can't believe how forthcoming I am with him right now.
"I could get some condoms," he says quietly. I knew this would be a difficult subject for both of us because of our Abnegation backgrounds. In Abnegation you aren't even allowed to hold hands before you're married let alone talk about birth control.
"I've heard of a shot I can get that's long lasting. That way we wouldn't have to think if we have protection with us. It will already be taken care of. I can make an appointment at the clinic in town. I really don't want Dauntless spreading rumors about us."
"Okay. Do you want me to come with you?" Do I want him to come with me? I hadn't really thought of that. This is about us, not just me. The responsibility should equally be ours.
"Yes, I do, Tobias, if you don't mind. We'll have to consult our schedules tomorrow, and then I'll call for an appointment." I look at the clock and it's now past 11 a.m. "Let's get ready and go to lunch. Then we can come back here and spend the rest of the day together, just us." I slide up and place my lips on his. He wraps his arms around me and rolls us over so he's on top of me. He leans on his forearms so I can't feel his weight. I run my hands up and down his back as I kiss him. Too soon he pulls back and looks in my eyes.
"You want the bathroom first?" he asks.
"No, you go ahead." He leans down and kisses me one last time before he rolls off the bed and heads toward the door.
"By the way," he says. I look over at him. "My tuxedo shirt, your bra, underwear, and those damn sexy high heels. You have to wear that for me again one day," he says, laughing as he walks into the hallway to go take a shower. I go crimson from head to toe but laugh also.
When he's done with the bathroom he hollers at me that he's done then goes to his old bedroom to get dressed. I take my turn in the shower then get dressed in black yoga pants, a black racer back tank top with a silver heart design on the front, and black running shoes. I look at my string straight hair and miss the curls from last night. I liked those. I braid my hair and pin my bangs back with a black barrette that is encrusted with silver jewels. I put on my charm bracelet then some makeup and go downstairs to join Tobias. When I get to the living room, Tobias is lounging in the club chair. I go over to him, move his legs from the ottoman, and sit down.
"I want your absolute honest opinion about something."
"Okay," he says with a look of concern on his face.
"Did you like my hair curly last night?" A smile brightens his face, and he shakes his head.
"I thought you were going to ask me something serious." I give him a look of censor and he says, "Not that your question wasn't serious." He stares at me for a moment, and I blush thinking about last night. "Yes, I really liked it curly. It was elegant when it was piled up like it was with all those pins and things but once I got it down." He shakes his head and takes my face in his hands. "It was like those damn shoes, sexy as hell." He touches his mouth to mine. When he pulls away, I pull him back to me and kiss him again.
"If it weren't for necessities like eating or breathing, I would stay locked up with you, kissing you forever. Did you know that?" I say, my lips never leaving his.
"I kind have figured that out." He pulls away from me and takes my hand. "I've created a monster."
"You have," I giggle.
"Let's go get some lunch." We both grab our phones in case of an emergency and head down to the cafeteria. Even though we have a fully loaded kitchen, we still take most of our meals in the cafeteria. We figure if we always eat at home and spend a lot of time in our offices, we'll never see our friends. We're running a bit late so everyone is already at the table. We sit in our usual spots after we get our plates.
"I never got a chance to tell you how spectacular the auditorium looked last night. Seriously, Christina it was magical," I say. Everyone at the table agrees with my assessment and tells Christina.
"Thank you!" she says brightly.
"If Dauntless ever needs a party planner, you have the job," I say.
"I would take it. I had such a good time planning the party and the decorations but the best part was bossing the maintenance people around!" She laughs heartily. "Also I don't have to do any cleanup, maintenance is taking care of that, too. It is a win-win situation!" It would be hard to feel sorry for yourself today being around Christina's contagious mood.
"Candor or Dauntless party next Friday night at 9 p.m. at my place," Uriah announces. "You're all invited." Soon the entire table is excitedly talking about past parties and all the crazy things that have happened. I just sit and listen and take everything in. It seems like the Candor or Dauntless parties can get very wild.
"You want to get out of here?" Tobias asks after a particularly hilarious story about Zeke, a duck, and a dress. I nod. "We're getting out of here," Tobias says to the table as he gets up. He takes my hand and helps me up. "I'm making supper for Tris tonight, so we won't see you guys until tomorrow. Have a good night." I tell everyone goodbye.
I let him lead me out of the cafeteria before I ask, "You're cooking for me tonight?"
"Yes."
"What are you making?"
"It's a surprise. You like surprises don't you?" he asks as he kisses the top of my head.
"I like good surprises," I qualify, leaning up to give him a quick kiss. He laughs at me.
Once we get back to our apartment, we decide to watch a movie. I let him pick since I picked last time. He puts in an action comedy while I get two waters out of the refrigerator. He maneuvers the ottoman so he can put his feet on it while he sits on the couch. I give Tobias a bottle of water then sit down beside him on the couch. I untwist the lid on my bottle and take a long refreshing drink. I replace the lid and have him put the bottle on the end table. He puts his right arm across the back of the couch, and I lean into him and pull my legs up beside me. After the movie gets over, I get up and put another in. I notice the one we just watched has a sequel so I choose it. About half way through the movie our late night catches up with me, and I can no longer hold my eyes open. I fall asleep cuddled up against him.
I wake up to an unfamiliar aroma filling the apartment. I lie on the couch for a few more minutes letting myself wake fully. I sit up and see Tobias leaning over the stove. I inhale deeply trying to pick out the different scents. I smell tomatoes, onions, and some sort of bread but the most overwhelming scent is foreign to me. I must have made a noise because he looks over his shoulder at me.
"Did you finally wake up, sleepy head?" he says with a smile.
"Did I sleep long?" I look at the clock and realize I've been asleep for almost two hours. I get up and go over to the kitchen. I stand next to Tobias with my back against the counter. "What are you making?" I look in the pot and see some sort of tomato sauce.
"I'm making homemade spaghetti and garlic bread." He takes a spoon and dips it into the sauce and says, "Here, taste." He holds the spoon in front of me like a mother holding a spoon out to a baby. I move my mouth forward and taste the sauce. It's delicious.
"That's wonderful. I've never tasted anything like it before. What's in it?"
"Tomatoes, onions, olive oil, garlic, oregano, and basil. It goes on spaghetti, which is a long thin pasta. You'll love it. I promise. There's a lettuce salad in the fridge and garlic bread in the oven. Everything's almost done." Garlic, oregano, and basil – that must be what I'm smelling.
"How did you learn to make this?" I figured he only knew how to cook Abnegation food like I do.
"Zeke's mother makes this all the time. I've tagged along with Zeke and Shauna for family dinners. Hana is a really good cook, and she taught me."
I get two dinner plates and bowls out of the cupboard and silverware out of the drawer. I hand the plates to Tobias. He dishes the spaghetti out then ladles a hearty portion of sauce on top. I get the salad out of the refrigerator and lightly dress it with Italian dressing and some Romano cheese. I put a serving of salad in each bowl and slide it across the island to our seats. When I got the salad out of the fridge I noticed a bottle of sparkling cider chilling. I retrieve it and pour two glasses then take them to our seats. I sit down and wait for Tobias to serve the spaghetti. He puts a large slice of garlic bread on each plate then carries our supper around the island. He puts my plate down in front of me and sets his next to it. I thank him with a kiss then take my first bite of spaghetti. It's marvelous. All the flavors of the sauce are mingling together perfectly. The bread is buttery and crispy and flavorful. The salad is the perfect light accompaniment. The cider is absolutely delicious, and the bubbles tickle my nose. I look at Tobias out of the corner of my eye, and he's enjoying our supper as much as I am. We eat slowly, thoroughly enjoying the food and each other's company.
"Thank you for supper. It was delicious," I say when I can no longer hold another bite. "What made you think to do that?"
"I think we should make it a tradition on Sunday nights. Just you and me and a home cooked meal. What do you say?" I wrap my arms around his neck and move my mouth to his and kiss him passionately.
"I love that idea, but I think maybe we should cut back on the onion and garlic dishes." He laughs but nods. I kiss his lips again then say, "I think we need to brush our teeth."
"That's probably a good idea."
"I'll clean up the kitchen since you cooked. That can be a part of our tradition, one cooks and the other cleans."
"Sounds good. I'll be moving my clothes into our room," he says with a happy smile on his face. I watch him as he ascends the stairs two at a time then turn my attention to the kitchen. There's a little spaghetti and sauce left so I put them in containers and place them in the refrigerator. There's only a couple bites of salad left so I finish it and set the bowl in the sink. I rinse off all the dinnerware and cookware and put them in the dishwasher. I wipe off the countertops, island, and stove then start the full dishwasher. I put the sparkling cider back in the refrigerator for another time then I turn out the lights and head upstairs.
The bathroom is deserted. I take my hair out of its braid and quickly run my brush through. I note the waves left behind from braiding wet hair and realize my hair isn't always string straight. I thoroughly brush my teeth, floss, and then use ample amounts of minty mouthwash trying to erase any garlic or onion odor. Luckily I left last night's PJs behind the bathroom door so I change into them. I put my clothes in the new black hamper I bought earlier this week. It seems like we figure out another necessity every other day and have to go shopping. The movers forgot to check the bathroom for anything at his old apartment, and the maintenance people took everything to the newly formed redistribution center for the factionless per orders from Tobias, Tori, and me. No need to throw away perfectly good items when there are people in need.
I slowly walk toward the bedroom and see Tobias lounging on the bed. I lean up against the doorjamb and stare at him. I don't know what he's thinking about but he doesn't seem to notice me. He looks a million miles away.
"Something on your mind, Tobias?" I ask after a while. Suddenly he's aware that I'm standing in front of him and a smile crosses his lips. He holds his right hand out in front of him and motions me over with his finger. I slowly walk over to my side of the bed, crawl across the sheets, and lie down beside him. He wraps his arms around me.
"No, nothing's on my mind. I was just thinking about us," he says, kissing the top of my head.
"Thinking of us? You seemed a million miles away. Are you sure there isn't something bothering you?" I ask.
"I was just thinking back over the past few months and how much everything has changed. I was going to leave Dauntless, then you jumped into the net. You know that's totally unheard of right, a Stiff jumping first. I didn't even do that. Then I fell in love with you."
"We fell in love with each other," I interrupt. He grins.
"We fell in love with each other," he repeats. "Erudite tried to take over Abnegation but the plot failed because of you and your brother. All the executions. You and I being named Max's successors. The morning after I came home drunk. Hearing you cry the night of the Dauntless Choosing Ceremony. Last night, how you looked in that dress, how you made me feel out of that dress." I blush crimson at that comment.
"You weren't supposed to hear that," I say remembering last Tuesday night. "The crying, I mean."
"I wanted to break through that door and hold you. I couldn't take it. I went for a run. I had to get some air."
"I didn't know you left. I'm so sorry, Tobias," I say. I reach up and pull him down to me. We turn and lie on our sides facing each other. I kiss him softly on the right cheek then move to kiss his left cheek. I finally place my lips against his and kiss him slowly for a moment then open my mouth and boldly run my tongue over his bottom lip. He opens his mouth and accepts me into him. We explore each other's mouths while our hands explore each other's bodies. He loosens his grip on me and groans. I know this is his way of telling me he's on the edge of getting carried away. I pull my mouth away from him and kiss his chin down to his neck. I pull back slightly and look into his eyes. I want nothing more than to continue but tonight isn't the night. I tell Tobias goodnight and turn my back to him. He slides up behind me, nestling me with his body. We sleep this way all night.