Pregnant? Christina pregnant at 16? Oh my. I slide down the wall to sit on the floor beside her and pull her into my arms. She puts her head on my shoulder, and I hold her while she cries. We sit in silence as she gets all her pent up emotions out.
"How long have you suspected you were pregnant?" I ask, still holding her.
"Just this morning. I started doing some math and totally freaked out. I don't know why I haven't suspected earlier. I'm two months late, Tris. I've never been as much as two days late before. I don't know what to do. I can't tell Will. He's going to kill me."
"Will isn't going to kill you, Christina, and you have to tell him."
"I don't want to tell him until I know for sure, and I don't want to go to the infirmary. Marlene does half her training there. I don't want to run into her." I understand not wanting to run into anyone you know when you're handling a delicate situation.
"How about I take you to the clinic uptown? I can call and make an appointment for you. I'll go with you." She nods at me. "Try not to worry, Christina. This might be nothing." Two months late though. I doubt it's nothing but I try to keep the worry off my face. I call the clinic, and they have an available appointment in 30 minutes. If we leave right now, we'll just make it.
I get Christina to her feet and tell Zoe she's taking the rest of the day off. Zoe nods at me and tells Christina to feel better. I don't think she knows what's going on. I text Will and tell him Christina is helping me with a project, and we won't be available until supper time. She thanks me for dealing with Will for the time being. I text Tobias and tell him I have an emergency meeting in town, and I won't see him until supper. When he responds he asks if everything is okay, and I tell him I'm fine, which is true. I don't tell him about Christina.
We run and jump on the train, which luckily gets there at the same time we do. We sit side-by-side in silence on the bench watching the scenery pass by. I wish there was something I could say or do to comfort her but I've never been in this situation, so I just keep quiet. I recognize the hospital from Tobias' and my trip to the clinic. I get up and move to the door. She looks at me.
"We have to jump off soon," I say to her. She gets up off the bench and joins me at the open door. Just a moment before we jump I wonder how safe it is to jump on and off a moving train for a pregnant woman. I push the thought down though, hoping I don't need the answer to that question for quite some time.
We jump off the train and briskly walk to the clinic. I open the door and quickly scan the familiar interior. We go to the reception desk and tell the nurse Christina's name. She gives her some paperwork to fill out. There are a lot more forms than when I filled out mine just three months ago. We sit on one of the 2-seater light brown leather couches, and she carefully fills out each form.
I let my eyes wander about the room while she is occupied with the clerical task. My eyes land on a frail-looking, slim, middle-aged woman with olive skin and dark curly hair. She's wearing yellow Amity pants and a black Dauntless winter coat indicating she's factionless. I think I can make out a gray Abnegation sweater under the coat, but I can't be sure. She's staring out the window at a little Candor girl with blonde ringlet curls running away from her parents on the sidewalk in front of the clinic with longing in her eyes. Suddenly, she turns her dark, almost black eyes my way with a stern look of censor. I can tell she doesn't like being looked at. A strong sense of déjà vu washes over me when our eyes meet. I know I've seen this woman somewhere before but I can't place where.
Just then a pretty red-haired nurse comes through the closed double doors that lead to the examination rooms, and I immediately recognize Isobel. She calls Christina's name, and we get up and follow her back to the same room where she did my examination. She indicates to Christina to sit on the examination table, and I sit where Tobias sat and am suddenly just as nervous as I was that day.
"Hello, Christina," she says, referring to the chart in her hands. "My name is Isobel. I am going to be helping you today. Who is this with you?" she says not looking up from the paperwork. She's very consistent. This is almost exactly what happened the day Tobias and I were here.
"This is my best friend, Tris." At the mention of my name Isobel looks up from her paperwork and stares directly at me.
"Awe yes, Tris. It is nice to see you again," she says. Christina's head whips my direction. There are questions in her eyes but she'll save them for later. I just smile at Isobel.
"So, Christina, you are here for a pregnancy test, is that correct?" Christina turns her attention back to the nurse.
"Yes," she croaks out almost inaudibly.
"Can you tell me the date of your last period?" she asks. Christina puts her head down, and I can tell she is calculating the date.
"August 31."
"Okay. I am going to do a blood test to check your hCG level, which is a hormone an embryo produces during pregnancy." She wipes off the interior of Christina's arm with an alcohol swab then inserts a needle into her vein, drawing a vile of blood. She then puts a bandage on the puncture site. "I will be back in approximately 15 minutes with your results. You can sit with your friend now." She leaves the room taking the vile of blood with her. Christina slowly gets off the exam table and moves to the chair next to mine. I feel her eyes on me. I finally look at her.
"How does the nurse know who you are, Tris?" she asks. I take a deep breath before I answer her.
"I came here for a birth control shot three months ago," I confess. She stares at me, mouth agape. "It's not that big of a deal, Christina. Four and I just wanted to be protected when we decide we are ready."
"So you two still haven't slept together?" I laugh a little.
"Actually, we sleep together every night," I admit, "but no, we haven't had sex. We are waiting until the time feels right."
"How can you be that close to him and not..." She lets the question trail off.
"There are times it's more difficult than others but we decided we're in no hurry and we aren't. We want it to happen naturally, no planning. It's taken the pressure off both of us. This is still a difficult subject for me. In Abnegation you aren't allowed to be alone in the same room with your betrothed let alone kiss or hold hands but sex." I shake my head. "That is totally out of the question."
"I remember how you reacted to Edward and Myra kissing in the cafeteria when we first got to Dauntless. I thought you were going to crawl under the table. You were appalled."
"I had never seen a kiss between the opposite sexes until that day, except for when my mom or dad would give a little peck to Caleb or me when we were little. It just wasn't done, isn't done." Christina puts her head down and plays with her hands nervously.
"What did your mom tell you about sex, Tris?" That is a conversation I didn't think I would ever have with another person, except for maybe Tobias one day.
"Not much I'm afraid to admit. It was all very clinical," I say. "She told me what intercourse was, the mechanics of it. That you don't do it until you're married, and it's only for the procreation of children."
"She didn't tell you how amazing it could be," Christina says.
"No. As far as I'm concerned, my parents had sex twice, to have Caleb and me. When she gave me 'the talk' that's how it sounded."
"Do you think they love each other?"
"I'm sure they do. I've seen how they look at each other. The night before the Choosing Ceremony, I saw her hold his hand. It's the only time in my life I've seen them touch each other, not a kiss, a caress, nothing. What did your mom tell you?"
"She told me the basics much like your mom told you but she also told me about the emotional side of sex. That I should wait until I'm absolutely in love with the other person because sex can change a relationship, it can change a person. She was right. Will and I were great together before but it deepened our relationship. I don't know how to describe it. Physically it's unlike anything else. But emotionally, I've never been closer to anyone than I am to him. It's amazing. I can't be pregnant Tris, I just can't. It will change everything." She drops her head, and I see the tears flow again.
"Everything will work out the way it's supposed to Christina," I say. We are silent until Isobel comes back into the room. I clasp Christina's hand in mine in a show of support. She squeezes it so tight that I let out a little yelp but she doesn't loosen her grip.
"Christina, your test results are back. You are indeed pregnant, approximately three months according to your hCG levels. I would like to do a pelvic exam and an ultrasound today if that is okay with you?" Christina's in shock.
"Isobel, could you give us a few moments?" I say to her. She nods and leaves the room. I get up from my chair and kneel in front of Christina.
"Hey," I say. I wait until her eyes meet mine. "I know these are not the results you wanted and I'm sorry. What do you want to do?"
"I'll have the tests. Even though I was hoping I wasn't pregnant, when I figured out how long it had been since my last period, I knew. I'm having a baby, Tris. I just hope Will's okay with my decision." I won't give her false hope and say he'll be okay with it, but I can't image he wouldn't be. He loves her.
"I'm here for you," I say reaching up to wipe the tears off her cheek. "No matter what." She's hugging me when Isobel comes back in the room. "Do you want me to wait outside while she does the exams?"
"No. Please stay with me." Isobel gives Christina a paper gown like I wore three short months ago, and she changes out of her Dauntless clothes and into that. I hold her hand during her pelvic exam. Isobel tells her the pregnancy is progressing well. Then she leaves the room for a minute. She comes back in with a handheld machine that looks similar to a cellphone but it has a wand thing attached to it. Isobel covers the lower half of Christina's body with a paper drape and raises her gown to expose her abdomen. She puts some clear jelly on her stomach and places the wand over the goo and moves it around until we hear a rapid fluttering noise in the room.
"That is your baby's heartbeat," Isobel says. At that moment, Christina breaks out in a wide smile. "I'm going to take some pictures of the fetus and give them to you on your way out." She takes the machine and sets it next to the computer then wipes the jelly off of Christina's stomach. "I'll let you get dressed then I'll be back in to go over some things with you." Christina gets dressed quickly. She sits back down and places her hands lovingly over her stomach.
Isobel opens the door then sits in front of the computer. After a few keystrokes four photos pop up on the screen. She turns the monitor so that Christina and I both can get a better look. She clicks on the upper left picture, and it soon takes up the entire screen. We are looking at a flawless black and white picture of her baby. Isobel points out all the visible parts, the head, body, arms, legs. It's too soon to know what the sex of the baby is, which disappoints Christina a little. Isobel says she won't be able to tell her that information for another 8-10 weeks. After looking at all four photos, Isobel turns off the monitor.
"I'll need to see you once a month for now. Once you get closer to delivery I will need to see you every two weeks and then weekly." She looks down at her papers and continues. "Sex is safe for right now. I would limit jumping on and off moving trains. It could cause a miscarriage. I recommend you get three to five servings of dairy daily. Eat lots of fruits and vegetables. Limit red meat. Have you been feeling ill at all?"
"No, I haven't," Christina responds.
"You're very lucky. A lot of women have already experienced morning sickness by this time. It's entirely possible you still might experience it. It's normal either way. I will give you a folder with all this information. Do you have any questions for me?
"Do you know when I'm due?" Christina asks.
"Of course. I'm sorry, I should have already told you that. You are due on June 13. Any other questions?" Christina shakes her head no. "Congratulations, Christina. I will have your folder at the reception desk. You can make your next appointment there. I will see you next month." She opens the door for us, and we go into the waiting area. The nurse behind the desk hands Christina a folder with pamphlets, test results, and the ultrasound pictures. She makes an appointment for next month, and we turn to leave. As we exit the clinic, I see the familiar woman walking toward the factionless part of town. Recognition sweeps over me once again but I still can't figure out who she is. Christina sees the look on my face and asks me about it.
"You see that factionless woman, Amity pants and Dauntless jacket? I swear I know her but I can't figure out from where. It's driving me crazy," I say to her then I look at her. "You okay, Christina?" She looks at me, a smile slowly brightening her face, and she folds her hands lovingly over her abdomen.
"I'm having a baby, Tris."