M_L: I *bang* Hate *bang* This *bang* Chapter. *slam!* *the table now has a sizable dent in it* This stuff is hard. To. Wriiiiiiiite…
7S: *winces* Oh God… We're gonna need a new table again, this is the fifth table you've dented! SOMEONE GET A NEW TABLE! I'M NOT DOING IT THIS TIME!
M_L: What the hell are you going on about? Did you ruin the other ones? WAS IT KYO?!
7S: Oh God! She's in her brain damage stage.
M_L: I don't know what you're talking about. I also find it funny that you haven't seen the font yet XD
7S: SHIT WE'RE IN COMIC SANS WHAT THE HELL?! MOTHER OF ALL FONT TYPES.
M_L: *LMAO* Sans is my favorite Undertale character, so I thought that he'd help me not hate this chapter so much.
7S: *sweatdrop* I saw that one coming. I prefer Papyrus though. I like Undyne toooooooo.
M_L: I saw that. =] Alphys and Undyne forever!
7S: ALRIGHT WE'RE GETTING OFF TOPIC! START THE CHAPTER!
ML: You know you ship it B]
7S: GAH THE SHIP!
M_L: *a faint static starts* On that note—our audio's being bitchy. Crap. Well. See you all in the post-script!
7S: Enjoy the chapter!
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Let is be said that any Nara, including the ever feared Nara Yoshino (feared because she inspired the Great Inspiration of all Nara females back in the year XXXX, much to the male's displeasure), hated waking up early. It was in our blood to be up-all-nighters and sleep-'til-noon, because the afternoon hours were when the shadows are the longest and darkest, and the night is when darkness rules. I'm getting way too poetic with this, but that's how it is for us. We dealt in shadows, and while we can ignore light, something closer to our own element but much more whole and definitive as darkness was… Well now, that was harder. Not impossible, but harder. Exponentially so. Hence the us being lazy in the daylight hours. At least, that was my theory.
But anyway, the point is none of us are morning glories. Which is why it was so surprising that Kaa-san woke me up at the kami-damned ass-crack of dawn. Pardon me, but we Nara (or Eda) like our goddamn sleep. Well, I did, until I remembered the day. That woke me up.
"Deer-kun!" I practically yelled when Kaa-san left me to get dressed. "Guess what?"
I imagined his yawn as he 'woke up'. "Whaa-aat? I thought Eda didn't wake up this early…"
I plowed on with a giggle. "I get introduced to the herd today!"
Now he was awake. "Really? Awesome! Just don't act all shy, like you usually do. They won't like that."
I snort, pulling on a shirt. "Tis this jealousy I hear, gracing my ears?"
"That rhymed!" he crowed. I simply nodded sagely and checked over myself in the mirror. I wore a pair of sturdy sandals (not quite the combat-ready ones that shinobi wore, but they were close enough), shin-length green capris, and a grey kimono shirt. I hummed, twisting this way and that in the mirror. It was silly, but my five-year-old self really wanted to make an impression on Kaa-san and Tou-san's herd. I was careful not to wear anything the deer were blind to. And, if I tried, Kaa-san would just send me back with a warning.
I skipped outside, grinning so widely that it almost hurt. I can't help it! I was going to be introduced to Kaa-san and Tou-san's herd, and if they liked me, they'd let me look after my own herd! How can I not be happy? It was my first steps to being an Eda. By name, I was an Eda, yes, but what really made you an Eda was a herd of aggressive deer that could, possibly, kill you.
I smiled at Kaa-san when I stepped outside, noting that neither Tou-san nor the herd were present. I could sense them in the forest.
"Ready?" Kaa-san asked, smiling down at me.
"Aa!" I nodded.
She took my hand, moving towards the sakura and birch forest. Every now and again, a Fire Oak would rise above the other trees, tall, with wide and drooping branches, perfect for the shinobi of Konoha. My smile wavered as I looked up at one such tree.
I closed my eyes briefly, feeling the (tight) bundle of energy that was my chakra core. My mother's chakra bubbled beside me, and her aura stretched out around her, stretching far and wide, but thickest at her skin. Most everyone's auras were thickest at their skin, and spread out as far as it would stretch; this 'bubble' was directly proportionate to their core and chakra levels. Mine started at my skin, and ended at that point. I looked at her arm, 'seeing' the small streams of chakra in it. Then, I looked down to my own arm. All I saw were pipes. Containment. Kaa-san's chakra was free-flowing—everyone else's chakra was free-flowing. They could easily draw from these streams; they were open. But I couldn't do that. I could try and create a 'leak' in my pipes, but the result was always the same. Chakra would shoot out in a highly concentrated blast, spiking pain, and forcing me to close the 'leak'. It was annoying, and more than disheartening, but how could one fight genetics.
Kaa-san caught my eye, and I looked away. "What's wrong, dear?"
"...Why is my chakra different?" I asked, scowling. "It hurts when I try using it outside my skin, and I can feel everyone. I want to be a kunoichi, a fuuinjutsu mistress, but I can't, because my chakra's all weird!"
Kaa-san sighed. "We honestly don't know why you can't mold chakra, Koe-chan, but we know why you're so sensitive to chakra. You're hyper-sensitive—so much so that you're almost allergic. That's…"
...a death-blow to any shinobi.
I nodded, already having guessed that much, but tears still stung my eyes, and I bit my lip to keep them back.
Kaa-san sighed, looking ahead. "Look! We're almost there!"
I allowed the happiness from earlier to come back, but my thoughts still lingered. Why am I different?
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I huddled in a corner of my secret hideout with several papers spread out before me. Deer-kun was sulking in the pile of pillows on the other side, but I paid him no mind. My violet eyes were locked on the map, journal, and Monopoly-grade silver figurines. Each was set on along lines on the map, some shaped like deer (these stayed on the lines) and others like wolves and leaves. The lines were trade routes, deer the Eda caravans, leaves hired nin, and wolves bandits. The journal by my side held details of all of the caravans.
Hi-Kaze Road
Caravans - five
Goods - Fire Oak wood; medicinal herbs; fruits
Protection - two Genin Corps Shinobi, one standard Konoha Shinobi Genin team
Threats - Bandits have been wandering the road; small chance of genin to low chunin nukenin
I was only focused on this one, since it was the one I was supposed to do. As the next-in-line if Daiki-ojisan didn't have a kid of his own, I was expected to plan the 'safest' and most efficient route(s) for Eda and the occasional Konoha trading caravans. Right now I was only working on the safest.
"You used to hate stuff like this…" Deer-kun groaned. I shrugged.
"That was before I was Eda Koe," I shot back in English. I giggled at the bored-to-death huff. "Emo."
"What?! Am not! How?!"
"You're about as sulky as Sasuke-bo."
"I refuse to be associated with that donkey-butt!"
"...if I go this way, I can avoid the bandit activity here, but not…"
"Koe-chan! Don't ignoooore meeee!"
"...but if I…"
"Koe-chaaaaaaan!"
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"Koe-chan…?" Tou-san called gently. I ignored him, burrowing myself deeper into my blankets.
"C'mon, Koe-chan, there's someone here to meet you..." no response. "I'll take away Deer-kun."
He is not allowed to touch my plushie! "Mmmwah!" I yelled, launching myself from my bed and towards where I'd left Deer-kun. "He's mine."
"Knew that'd get you up," He chuckled. "Get dressed, Koe-chan, and make sure to wear something nice!"
He was gone.
"...Who's here to see you?"
Frowning, I cast out my senses. Someone was in the dining room with Kaa-san. Someone with a huge amount of trained chakra. A shinobi? Why the hell did they bring a shinobi to come see me? There was no healing feel to them, so not a healer, so who…?
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No. Fucking. Way. There was a freaking sanin sipping tea with Kaa-san in the dining room. Shit. Shiiiiiiiit. This was a dream. A really, really awesome dream, but a dream nonetheless—
I choked slightly when Jiraiya's chakra fluctuated as he laughed. Nope. Not a dream. Maybe they found him at the hotsprings and brought him over to sign my book. My book.
I tugged on Tou-san's sleeve and, wide-eyed, motioned back to my room frantically. He nodded, laughing. I grinned and ran back to my room.
"Deer-kun!" I whisper-shouted. "Deer-kun! It's him!"
"How are you a Nara?" Deer-kun groaned. "You have way too much energy! And who?"
I dug around my bookshelf. Not here. Scowling, I slid underneath my bed and into my hideout. Where was it…? There! Grabbing the plain brown book, I was up and out of my hideout in a flash, showing the book to Deer-kun. "Him!"
"No..."
"Yes!" I grabbed one of my notebooks, flipping through it to make sure it was the right one. "Wish me luck!"
"Make our readers laugh!"
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Target in sight. I nearly giggled to myself, but I knew that that would utterly defeat the purpose of my job. Slow, quiet breaths, chakra-softened footsteps, careful, precise movements. Nothing could go wrong, if this was to work.
Carefully, I settled myself on the cushion next to my target. Kaa-san and Tou-san had both seen me when I walked in, though they both enjoyed my 'missions' as much as I did (thank kami for that) and kept the target's attention as I snuck up. I turned my head (carefully) to stare blankly at him.
(Awhile back, I'd learned from one of the genin in the Genin Corps that if you directed a chakra to your eyes in a specific way, you could keep them open forever. I'd used it many times since.)
"So where is this kid of yours?" Jiraiya was saying.
My parents shared a knowing look. Jiraiya frowned suspiciously. "She likes to hide," Tou-san explained after maybe too long a pause. "And that you're basically her idol means she's going to try extra hard to impress you."
"Not to mention she's almost unnaturally sneaky," Kaa-san sighed. "I swear she was the one that stole all of my sheets."
"What?" Jiraiya sounded amused.
"Three years ago the sheets in the linen closet disappeared. That was around the time Koe-chan started to disappear into what she called her 'secret hiding spot'." I saw Kaa-san shake her head out of the corner of my eye. "I spent weeks trying to get her to tell me where it is."
Tou-san shook his head too. "We still haven't found it."
"Really?" Jiraiya laughed. "That's impressive. Where is she?"
I grinned briefly, then schooled my face into blankness. "Konichiwa, Jiraiya-sama."
I burst into giggles as he yelped and leapt to his feet. I just scared the bajibas out of one of the legendary sannin. My parents were also laughing, calmer than me, but they were still laughing. Oh man, this was priceless!
"How long—" he spluttered. I grinned up at him.
"Since you asked where I was," I answered. I swear he pouted.
"How'd you do it?" I cocked my head to the side and he explained. "How'd you manage to sneak up on me?"
"I was quiet." I whispered the last word. "Like a shadow. A very sneaky shadow."
He turned to my parents for translation as he sat. Tou-san sighed. "She has next to no chakra aura."
I grinned wider. "No sense me coming. Like a shadow."
Jiraiya snorted at my input. "You'd be a good infiltrator. Have you considered joining the Academy in Konoha?"
I scowled. "Yes."
Kaa-san sighed. "She also has chakra hypersensitivity. She's extremely hypersensitive."
"Which is why we asked you to come by," Tou-san interjected. "Koe-chan's a fan of your work."
My mood lifted. "Oh!" I shoved the book forward. "Can you sign this?"
For a second, a horrified realization spread across his face. Then he read the cover. "The Tale of The Utterly Gutsy Shinobi? It's been awhile since I've signed this book. It didn't sell very good..." He pulled out a pen and flipped the cover, signing it with a flourish. "Still! It's good to see that some like it. Here you go. Museikage."
I smiled, taking my book and flipping through it. His eyebrows rose as he examined the notes in the margins.
"What's all this?" He motioned towards the notes.
I hummed. "My notes? I have more here." My journal was held up. "I'm trying to work out what Naruto-kun looks like, what could be different to gather more interest in the book, and some other stuff. Have you ever considered a sequel? Maybe if you write about Naruto-kun's daughter, you'd get more attention…?"
I stopped, seeing the glint in his eye. Scowling, I continued. "If you keep the rating the same, and shone more light on the kunoichi side of shinobi work, you'd not only gain money, but also more respect to some. Ero-sanin."
"Koe-chan!"
"He was thinking of turning my idea into the smut he usually writes!"
"How does she know about that?"
"This is troublesome…" A thought hit me as the adults bickered. "Doesn't Daiki-san own the first volume of Icha Icha?"
"Tou-san?" I interrupted, before Kaa-san could go off and kill Daiki-ojisan for leaving his smut lying around. "What does my hypersensitivity have to do with Jiraiya-sama being here?"
That cut off the argument. By the look Jiraiya was giving them meant that they didn't tell him either.
Tou-san paused, gathering his thoughts. "Jiraiya-sama, while having you sign Koe-chan's book is a nice bonus, that was not the purpose of inviting you into the Eda compound."
Kaa-san continued. "Last year, I learned a very… interesting fact about my daughter." She smiled at me. "Among writing and art, Koe expressed that she wishes to learn seals."
I blushed, staring down at my (many) representations and sketches of Naruto-kun. I'd based one on Minato, one was even an Uzumaki. I fiddled with the corner of the page. Something pulled the journal from my lap. Looking up, I saw the contemplative look on the sannin's face. His eyes scanned over the page, then he turned to the next page, and scanned over that. My blush brightened, and I looked away.
"You have a good eye for detail—almost uncanny, really—and while your calligraphy could be better…" he trailed off with a hum. "How good are you at cryptology?"
"Ano…" I frowned. Ango-gaku? What?
"Codes," Tou-san supplied. Oh. Oh. Ango meant code, or cipher—something along that idea. Kami, I feel stupid.
"I've started learning hanakotoba," I started, chewing on my lip. Then I stopped, because Kaa-san was frowning at me. "And… ano, I've started on… my own?" I cringed at how unsure I sounded.
"You have?" Jiraiya sounded surprised. Right. Because I was only six in their eyes. Not twenty-one. Oh, I'm now a legal adult back in America. Yay. You know, that'd help if I didn't die.
I blushed, running a nail along the grain of the table. It felt weird, because my arm was twisted weirdly to do it, but it didn't bother me so much. I was more bothered by the stares I was getting. "I've… only started on the… first… ano…" I counted, "seven… symbols? There's twenty-six, but… ano... I've only seven? Yeah." Kami, that sounded lame. I blushed harder.
(How, I have no clue.)
"I… see." Jiraiya stood. "I'll consider teaching your daughter, Eda-san. And gaki," I looked up, and was surprised to see him wink, "I'll think on that sequel."
My first influence on the world, and it's getting a famous pervert to consider to write a sequel. I'm happy.
I hummed. "Can I help write it?"
He roared.
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M_L: Done! Finished! *sigh* Yay. And look, we're not in comic sans anymore.
Deer-kun: *something shatters* I broke the waaaaaall.
M_L: Aren't you a special snowflake? Yes, but you do realize that you have no influence on the world. You are only a thought process of Koe's.
Koe: He's not listening.
M_L: Right, so our audio's fixed- *BZZT!* ...maybe. And 7S has abandoned us. REVIEWS ARE WELCOME!
7S: I DIDN'T ABANDON YOU! I LITERALLY CAN'T SEE! WHERE THE HELL IS EVERYONE?!
M_L: *turns the Deer-kun* Was there anyone nearby when you broke that wall?
Deer-kun: Um…
M_L: Right. *sigh* THE EYEBALLS ARE IN THE FRIDGE!
7S: I TOLD YOU NOT TO PUT THEM IN THE FRIDGE! IT FEELS WEIRD WHEN YOU PUT IT IN THE SOCKET! IT'S ALL COLD AND STUFF!
M_L: HOW ELSE CAN I KEEP THEM PRESERVED! IF I PUT THEM IN VINEGAR THEN IT'LL HURT. How those Uchiha do it is beyond me.
7S: I CURSE ALL OF THE UCHIHA IN THE WORLD! Not you Itachi, you're just fine. Carry on.
Itachi: Hn.
Koe: Right. No more shouting- AND DON'T BRING AN UCHIHA IN HERE! THEIR CHAKRA BURNS MY THROAT!
M_L: That's nice. Hypocrite.
7S: Oh well. Shoo Itachi! Begone!
*Itachi leaves*
M_L: After this one thing, we're stopping the script. How did Itachi get in? I thought only authors, naru-me's and our friends could. HE HASN'T EVEN BEEN INTRODUCED YET.
7S: I let him in. He wanted tea.
D-kun, M_L, Koe: Doesn't he like sweets?
M_L: Is he being sweet on you?
7S: SHUT UP! AJFLAWIEHFNN
Koe: Well, she's broken. Thanks, Lynx. Anyway, the chapters over! Go comment in the review box, or something…
Everyone: Bye!