"Divergent, Tris?" I can hear the fear in her voice. It's going to be hard to dispel a lifetime of conditioning that Divergents are something to fear or the belief they aren't even real.
"Christina, I'm the same Tris I was an hour ago. The same person who jumped off the train onto the roof of Dauntless with you the first day. The same person who accompanied you to your doctor's appointment earlier this week when you found out you were pregnant. You just now know my most closely guarded secret. Something I was told to absolutely never tell anyone else, ever. Divergents are not a danger to others, they are in danger because of others. They're being killed because of who they are and because of the fear associated with them. I think all the names on the first list are Divergents, but without asking everyone on the list to divulge a closely guarded secret and getting an honest response, which is doubtful, there's no way to know for sure."
"You said there's a classmate on the second list? Who?" she asks.
"I'm sure you can guess," I say with spite in my voice as I think of Peter and his hateful nature.
"Peter?" she asks, hitting the nail on the head.
"That didn't take you very long to figure out," I say with a humorless laugh.
"Wait, Tris. You said names on the list. Who else is on the list you know for sure is Divergent?" she asks, fear being replaced by Erudite-like intrigue. Will must be rubbing off on her. This is a harder secret to share because it isn't mine but it will shortly be made known to Will that Tobias' name on that list.
"Tori revealed to me during initiation that her brother, George, was Divergent. She administered my aptitude test and is the one who told me about Divergents in the first place. She has helped me a lot since I got here," I say. I take a breath before I continue. "Uriah's mother, Hana, is on the list also, which raised our suspicions because Uriah's Divergent. Four's mentor and initiation instructor, Amar, was Divergent, too. Four's also on the list," I add softly. She is very quiet for a while, letting the new information sink in.
"Four and Uriah, too," she says, worry and shock on her face. "I guess being apprehensive of Divergents my entire life has been meaningless because with the exception of Four, who is intimidating by nature, there isn't a single reason to be afraid of you or Uriah, unless you try to take away his Dauntless cake. That would be deadly!" We laugh together, letting the tension ease.
"To answer your earlier question though, try not to worry, Christina. It isn't good for the baby. Just be vigilant. Don't let yourself be alone. If you see anything and I mean anything out of the ordinary, tell Will, Four, Tori, or me. You could also tell Zeke. He knows about a lot of this since he's head of the control room. I would like to say this is the last we'll see of these killers but I don't think it is." Just then there's a knock on the door making us both jump. Then we laugh at ourselves for being on edge because of the conversation as she goes to answer the door. She opens it, and all I can see is what I believe is a tree taking up the entire doorway.
"Delivery for Four and Tris," comes an invisible man's muffled voice. If this is another item from his "secret admirer" it's getting out of hand. Who sends trees to people? Christina looks back over her shoulder to say something to me but stops when she sees the look on my face.
"Seriously, Tris! Where do you want your Christmas tree?" she asks, dismayed I don't seem to grasp the reason a tree is being delivered to my apartment.
"Christmas tree?" I ask. I've never heard of a Christmas tree before. She frowns and shakes her head at me.
"Set it up in front of the window in the open space before the stairway," she hollers to the voice in the hallway, taking over for me. I watch as the tree squeezes through the almost too narrow doorway. Once the two delivery men dressed in black maintenance overalls get it inside, one holds the tree up while the other sets a large round plastic disc the color of the tree with metal screws down on the floor. Then the two men lift the tree and secure it into place in the plastic disc with the screws. While the first man holds the tree in place, the other goes to my kitchen faucet and fills what looks like a flexible plastic bag with a nozzle on one end with water and takes it to the disc and drains the water into it. Then they cut the straps around the tree and the branches spring free, stretching out of their bindings. The tree towers over me at approximately six-and-a-half-to-seven-feet-tall and has to be at least as wide around at the bottom. I sit staring at the beautiful site in front of me barely registering the conversation going on behind me.
"I signed for the tree and gave them each a point tip for delivering it. I hope that's okay since you didn't answer me," she says shaking her head again after the maintenance men have left.
"So this is a Christmas tree? It's beautiful," I say to her.
"Oh, Tris," Christina says, shaking her head. "We have so much to teach you here at Dauntless. There are so many things about the world you don't know. You have to decorate the tree. You know for supposedly being selfless, I think Abnegation parents are extremely selfish for not letting their children celebrate Christmas."
"Decorate it with what?" I ask innocently. She stares at me with blank eyes, her mouth hanging slightly open. She goes to the kitchen mumbling under her breath about stupid Abnegation rules to make us lunch. I just shrug and look back at the tree. She warms up some left over vegetable soup Tobias apparently made last night while I was asleep and pairs it with cold turkey sandwiches. I realize the throbbing in my ankle has increased and momentarily think about taking a pain pill but I really don't want to sleep yet another day into oblivion.
"Do you think you could go upstairs to the bathroom and get me a couple acetaminophen tablets out of the medicine cabinet?" I ask when she hands me my plate. "My ankle's hurting a bit more but I really don't want to take the pain meds the doctor prescribed. I would like to stay awake for just one day this week." She obliges my mood and climbs the stairs to retrieve the pills.
"If these don't help, promise you'll take some of the medication the doctor prescribed. I don't want you in pain, even if you do fall asleep," she says handing me the pills, and I nod at her. Then she sits down on the couch to eat her lunch. "You seriously have never seen a Christmas tree, Tris, or are you just pulling my leg?"
"I've never even heard of a Christmas tree before today. I've heard of Christmas but we weren't allowed to celebrate it. Christina, we weren't even allowed to celebrate our own birthdays, too selfish. As a matter of fact, I didn't even know what my birthdate was until I saw it in my Dauntless file three months ago. Imagine that if you can, finding out when your birthday is in a file compiled by complete strangers." Her mouth falls open. "The only celebrations we had were at weddings and at the end of initiation for new members, and I've come to realize they weren't much of a celebration. I mean washing feet and serving everyone food. Not much of a celebration." I don't know what the look on my face denotes but Christina bursts out laughing so hard she nearly topples her plate.
"I'm sorry to laugh," she says as she snorts one last time. "You looked so disgusted right then. By the way, Christmas trees are decorated with all different kinds of things, lights, candles, tinsel, and ornaments. Usually it's a family tradition what you decorate your tree with. What has Four decorated trees with in the past? Oh, sorry. If you've never heard of a Christmas tree you obviously have never talked about decorating one with Four."
"Tell me about the holidays that fall between now and The Choosing Ceremony. I wish I would have had this conversation with you shortly after jumping into Dauntless. You could have saved me all the embarrassment of not knowing what Halloween and Thanksgiving were," I say with a shy smile. She's right, I have so much to learn about this new life.
"Well, let's see. Of course there's Christmas, which falls on December 25 each year. Then there's New Year's Eve, which is December 31. With that we celebrate the end of an old year and the beginning of a new year. A lot of alcohol is consumed. Valentine's Day is a day set aside for romance, couples, and lovers. It falls on February 14. At Candor, a lot of couples got married on that day. Then there's The Choosing Ceremony, which of course always falls on July 4," she tells me. "Those are the big holidays. There are smaller ones like Mother's Day and Father's Day that fall on Sundays in May and June. I can never remember the exact ones."
"Thanks for the information. I was totally caught off guard with Halloween. You think it was funny I didn't know what a Christmas tree was, you should have seen Four trying to explain Halloween. I'm still not sure I totally understand," I say shaking my head. Christina laughs at me again. It's a good thing I'm in a good mood.
"That reminds me of something though. I'm offering you a new job," I say. This statement captures her total attention, and her laugh cuts off. She turns her body to look at me with confusion on her face. "It will be in addition to your hours at the boutique, clothing store, tattoo parlor, and salon. Feel free to turn it down, Christina, but I think you should be paid for your talents. I want to make you Dauntless' official party planner. It would add 100 points to your paycheck each week, and you would be responsible for planning all the Dauntless parties. You would report to me, but you're a much better party planner than I will ever think of being so I wouldn't be giving you much input, except for an occasional menu choice." We laugh remembering my speech about sweet potato casserole. "I trust you completely to do this job. What do you say?"
"You want to pay me to plan parties?" she asks, disbelief clear in her voice.
"Yeah," I say matter-of-factly. "Like I said, I believe you should get compensated for your brilliant planning. As a matter of fact, if you accept this job, I am going to pay you retroactively for the Dauntless Welcome party and the Halloween party you planned."
"You have that much faith in me, Tris?"
"Of course I do!" I say. "What do you think?"
"Yes," she says hugging me. "Thank you, Tris. Do I need to plan a New Year's Eve party?" Tobias and Tori never said anything, but I think with the added stress of Ivy's death, we need any excuse we can get to have a good time.
"Go ahead and plan just a party, no formal meal just like Halloween was. Do you think we could do a masquerade ball? When Four was explaining Halloween to me I mixed up the concepts. I was really excited at the prospect of a masquerade ball. I know I just told you I wouldn't give you any input but I think a New Year's Eve Masquerade Ball sounds like fun. Do you think the boutique or clothing store could get ball gowns and masks on such short notice?"
"That's an absolutely wonderful idea. It shouldn't be too hard to get them. As a matter of fact, I'll call Zoe right now and ask her about it." She calls her boss and is on the phone for over an hour giving her directions about the New Year's Eve party. Zoe commits to ordering an additional stock of ball gowns and masks for the evening.
We spend the rest of the afternoon planning the New Year's Eve party, finalizing the Christmas party, and watching movies. I also tell Christina I won't be able to make our planned dress shopping for the Christmas party since the doctor has me under strict house arrest and ask her to pick out a suitable party dress for me. I trust her not to get me something I wouldn't pick out for myself. I also ask her to get me some sensible shoes to go along with it. I know it will be a hardship for her not to pick out 4 inch stilettos to accompany the dress but I'm not even sure if the doctor will let me walk without the assistance of my crutches by then. I'm beginning to think my metal walking assistive devices are near permanent embellishments for me.
I notice my pain level has gone down quite nicely since yesterday. The four acetaminophen tablets I've taken throughout the day have dealt with the pain with no unwanted side effects. My shoulders are well on their way back to normal but my ankle is throbbing more than I would like it to. The left shin is no longer hurting at all, and the bruise has started to yellow a bit. I only did the shoulder exercises once yesterday because of the excessive sleeping, but I've done them twice so far today. They are not too strenuous, and I'm doing them exactly as the doctor ordered.
Shortly before suppertime, Tobias and Will walk through the door each carrying several bags of various sizes. He quietly tells him to put them on the other side of the island and thanks him. My curiosity is piqued, and I look at him but he won't quite meet my eyes. He never mentions the bags or what's in them and immediately jumps into telling Christina and me about their day. He spent the morning showing Will the hidden files created by Eric I told Christina about. After lunch they made themselves available to the Dauntless members trying to get out ahead of the death scandal.
A little after 6 p.m., Will and Christina say goodbye for the night and head down to the cafeteria for supper. Tobias finally comes to sit beside me on the couch. He sits close, and I put my legs over his and look into his eyes waiting for an explanation of all the bags that are now hidden in the kitchen.
"It's killing you isn't it?" is all he says, mischief shining in his eyes.
"Tobias Eaton," I slowly say, not quite sure what to say, when something he teased earlier this week comes back to me. "If you don't tell me what's up with all those bags, I'm going to have to seduce it out of you." He heartily laughs, obviously ready to play. I look into his deep dark blue eyes calculating my next move but soon I find my curiosity slowly dying as my desire builds. I smile coyly up at him through my lashes as I slowly maneuver myself so I am straddling his lap, testing each move for pain or discomfort but am pleasantly surprised to find none. I rest my hands on his hips to steady myself then reach up and stroke his cheek with just the back of my fingertips. I lean forward and hesitantly place my lips on his now hammering heart and kiss him through the tight black fabric covering his muscled chest. Then I kiss my way up while I wrap both my arms around his neck and play with the curls that are touching his collar. I teasingly run my tongue slowly up his neck to his ear, placing kisses every so often. When I get to his ear, I place a kiss just below it then run my tongue up, place my lips against his lobe, and whisper, "What's in the bags, Tobias?"
I lean back and look into the eyes I so easily get lost in. His pupils dilate and his mouth lands on mine eagerly. Although I wasn't expecting his reaction, I welcome it. Our tongues hungrily make love to each other's mouths. I feel his hands move to my hips then slide around to my back. Soon he's slipped his right hand under the edge of my shirt, and I feel his calloused fingertips gently caressing the sensitive skin of my lower back. I moan into his mouth. He slowly glides his other hand up to the middle of my back and gently pulls me closer to him. I break away from him gasping for air, and he looks down into my eyes, our breathing synchronized. I drop my hands down to my side then set them on his hips again. I slowly move them up so they are sitting just above the waistband of his jeans on his bare skin. We continue looking in each other's eyes.
"Tobias," I say. I'm dazed by the need radiating through me.
"We can't, Tris," he throatily says as he rests his forehead against mine. I know he wants me as much as I want him in this moment. "The doctor said..." he lets the statement fall away because we both know what the doctor said, no sex. My damn accident has ruined so much. Suddenly, without warning, tears overflow my eyes. I blink them back and see despair on his face. I ease myself off his lap, leaving my legs dangling over his left knee, and lean back into the couch.
"I'm sorry for the tears, Tobias," I say, agitatedly wiping them away but for every one I wipe away, two more spill. "It's nothing but frustration." He wraps his arms around me, more aggressively than I'm expecting, and I wince from the sharp pain that radiates from my right shoulder down into my back. He automatically loosens his grip but he doesn't let me go.
"I'm sorry too, and I share your frustration. I didn't know our little game was going to set off this reaction in both of us. I should have known after yesterday morning but I wasn't thinking." He groans as he kisses the top of my head. I raise my drying eyes to look at him, and I feel so many emotions at once. A new round of wetness starts to spread making it hard to see him. These tears spill also. "God," he groans sounding like he's agony. "Please don't cry, Tris." I try to spare him my emotional outburst but right now all that will help is letting the tears flow, washing the frustration out of me.
After the tears are dry I whisper, "I'm sorry, Tobias. Will you do something for me?" He tenses up awaiting my question. "Please," I say drawing out the anticipation, teasing a little, "tell me what's in the bags." He laughs, letting all the anxiety of the past few minutes go.
"You really haven't guessed?" he asks seriously. I try to think but nothing comes to mind. I shake my head at him. He smiles. "The bags are full of items to decorate our first Christmas tree." He points toward the naked Douglas fir standing in front of the wall of windows. "I asked Zeke what we would need to decorate the tree, and he helped me pick some things out during lunch. How about I cook us supper and afterward we start decorating our first Christmas tree?" I put my hands on his face and pull him closer to me, kissing him thoroughly before relinquishing him to the kitchen.