Tyrogue, Hariyama, Infernape, and Hitmontop
Once upon a time, there was a small boy named Ash Ketchem. His mother said that she named him after a famous human character in a popular cartoon show (although she would never share the fanfics she wrote of that cartoon). However, the Ash that is the hero of this story was actually a Tyrogue, not a human. And he never felt that the name was fitting of him. So when he came of age, he went to the local courthouse to change his name to Ash Kicksbutt and left town to seek his fortune.
Ash Kicksbutt the Tyrogue wasn't quite sure what his fortune would be. He was a little humanlike Pokemon with purple skin and red shell armor in the form of boxers and sneakers. Whatever it was, he knew he had to get strong fast in order to claim it. So as he traveled along the road, he punched and kicked things on the way to keep in shape. He hit boulders, pebbles, trees, bushes, leaves, signs, other Pokemon, bridges, light posts, buildings, cars, trucks, trains, planes (never mind how he reached them), fences, statues, caves, books, and even pillows. For good measure, he tipped over some sleeping Tauros and Miltanks, because they put up a good fight when enraged.
One day, he spotted a large round mass of flesh at the side of the road, all yellow-tan and dark blue. "Excellent," he said to himself, "a Snorlax to challenge!" So he ran over and punched the massive Pokemon. But it was peculiar. Instead of hitting a mass of blubber and skin, he found himself hitting a mass of muscle and skin. This was no Snorlax.
The Hariyama got up in response, dusting off the armor flaps around his waist with its large hands. Bright orange bands had been tied around his arms and decorated the tan flaps. Stranger than that, he wore a bright and flashy mask over his face, a fierce dark blue visage with bright orange stripes. White feathers came off the sides of it and arched over the Hariyama's head.
Then the large Pokemon looked down at him. "What are you waking me for?" he asked in a booming deep voice.
That didn't intimidate the Tyrogue hero, even though he had to tilt his head back to look in his new opponent's face. He stomped his foot down and punched his fist in the air. "I am Ash Kicksbutt and I'm on a journey to find my fortune! I'm challenging you to a fight."
After a moment of just looking, the Hariyama laughed, shaking his belly. Then he stomped down with his foot, striking the ground hard enough to bounce Ash into the air. "El niño, I am the great wrestler Sanchez Grande, Grand Champion of the ring five years running. I slam down foes bigger and more armored than myself on a regular basis. And you, little one, you wish to challenge me?"
"Of course," Ash shouted, punching his fist into the air again.
"Hmph." Sanchez brought one fist in to his chest, then knocked it to the side, striking a milk truck and sending it soaring; after landing, it tumbled down the road for another three hundred yards. "So be it then, el niño Ash." He then leapt into the air, aimed to come down right on top of Ash to squash him.
Ash scrambled out of the way, but still got knocked over by the force of Sanchez hitting the ground. One hit from this guy and he could be toast! No worse than that, a toasted cracker because he'd be so thin! But he had a plan and the danger of become squashed made it all the more exciting.
As he turned around, the masked Hariyama kept his stance low, so that he could punch the Tyrogue into the air, then get back up to a better stance to give an arm thrust that would knock the little one into a tree. But that didn't happen. Instead, Ash darted forward, kicked his feet into Sanchez' ankle, then rolled out of the way. This unbalanced the giant Pokemon, making him topple over and crash into the ground.
The Tyrogue then jumped on top of the Hariyama's back. "Three… two…one… you're out! I am the victor once more!" He then hopped off to beside his foe's face.
Sanchez chuckled, then pushed himself back up. "Si, el niño. You are a good deal trickier than you appear, and stronger. I do not know what fortune you may find, but I would like to call you amigo, if you will allow me to come along."
While he didn't know exactly what the Hariyama meant, Ash grinned and nodded. "Sure! You can help teach me to be stronger. Let's go!" And so Sanchez Grande joined Ash Kicksbutt on his journey.
A few days later, the mighty pair were walking and fighting along their way when they came across an unusual building. It was made of stone, with a red roof, so it could have been hit as usual. But the sign hanging by the door named it a dojo. A second sign below it stated, 'The Master of this dojo requests that any and all challengers come inside to fight and prove their worth.'
"That sounds like your kind of place, amigo," Sanchez said.
"Right on!" Ash said, pumping his fist in the air. He then kicked in the door. "I am Ash Kicksbutt! I am off to find my fortune, but first I'm going to find your butt and kick it!"
"Believe you that is so?" a feminine voice called out from within the dojo. The building looked empty, a wide open space with bamboo mats on the floor and strange Asian scrolls on the wall. Then a Pokemon dropped down from the ceiling, a white and lithe Infernape that had a flow of red flames coming off the top of her head. Swiftly, she spun around to face him, dropping to sit in a lotus position.
"Yeah!" Ash said, not letting himself be intimidated by anything. "I don't care if you're a Master, I'm still gonna teach you some tricks."
"That is the Master of this place?" Sanchez asked, a little skeptical.
"Right, that is," the Infernape said. She brought her hands together and bowed her head. "Master of the Monkey Fist, Lotus Strike am I. In my domain, none has won in battle with me. Burn you, shall I." She then flipped herself onto her hands, clapped her feet together, then sent a ring of flames whirling at them.
Ash darted out of the way while Sanchez simply braced himself for the hit. He was going to stay out of this fight, unless his friend lost. In the meantime, the Tyrogue soon found himself outmaneuvered by Lotus. She tumbled along, leapt to the ceiling to launch herself off the beams, rolled and kicked her legs out, all while bringing her fires to her fists and feet. It was a highly chaotic style that was nothing like Ash had ever seen before.
But, he might be able to take advantage of the complexity. After getting hit yet again by a flaming fist, Ash rushed at her with a simple tackle. Then he tried something Sanchez had been advising him to try out; focusing on all the injuries she had induced, he lashed out in a revenge strike while she was trying to regain her footing from the tackle. Lotus got thrown upside-down into a nearby rock wall, stunned.
Ash ran up to her. "Three… two… one… and you're out! I win in your domain."
All of a sudden, she flipped off the wall, vaulted over him, and landed behind Ash. "Perhaps," Lotus said. "Perhaps not. Great talent, you possess. Never a student had I. Terrified them all away. Perhaps, travel with you do I, teach you do I, Master too you become. Say you what?"
"Uh…" he spent a moment unraveling her words, then beamed. "Sure! I could be a Master without you, but it would be faster with you. Well we don't know where we're going, but we'll know when we get there, right? Let's go!" And so Lotus Strike joined Ash Kicksbutt and Sanchez Grande on their journey.
A few days later, the trio were walking along the road, discussing how best to knock cars off it, when they came across an amazing sight. They had been leaving wrecks in their wake, true enough, but nothing like this. A pyramid of ten cars was sitting off the side of the road, all damaged and abandoned. What could have caused this wreckage? After looking about, they only saw one potential source: a brown and blue humanlike Pokemon that was sitting in the middle of the road, spinning about hypnotically on the tip of his pointed head. He had such grace and power to his kicks just to keep spinning that it enchanted both Sanchez and Lotus.
But the Tyrogue hero just grinned, seeing someone else to challenge. "Hail there, car wrecker!" he shouted, striking a pose. "I am Ash Kicksbutt, a fortune seeker and rising star among fighters. I'm in the top percentile of all Tyrogues, and you're the next to be knocked on your bum!"
The Hitmontop sent out a wide leg thrust to counter his spinning motion. Remaining upside-down, he crossed his arms over his chest as he contemplated the challenge. "A little confident, are we?" he asked. "How precious. If you want to defeat me, Joe Elegante, you'd better have the skills to back up those words, cutie."
Instead of leaping into the fight as usual, Ash widened his eyes. "Wait, you're Joe Elegante?"
He snapped his fingers. "Yes. What of it?"
"That's what my mom said was my dad's name! You know of Casey the Ditto, right?"
"Miss Casey? How interesting." Joe smirked, then made a cross slash with his arms, without tipping himself over. "Well then, son, are you ready to show off your stuff?"
Ash grinned widely. "Yeah! Let's rock!" He rushed forward and tried to use his low kick attack to knock Joe off his point.
However, Joe swung himself around the attack and sent a whirlwind of punches and kicks at the Tyrogue. His spiked hands and feet were as tough as steel, it seemed, and his limbs were nimble. Ash found himself hard pressed to dodge the strikes, although it helped that Lotus had taught him how to move more like her. He dropped down and used his revenge technique to kick Joe upwards. Letting the motion of his kick flip him over, he then jumped up and punched his father in the head. The Hitmontop landed on his back, hard.
Ash then hopped onto his forehead, to make it harder for him to get up. "Three… two… one… you're out! I beat you good and quick."
He then got knocked onto the ground himself when Joe flipped himself back onto his point. "You're a little quick to call the end of the battle too," he commented. "But your moves are so refined, remarkable in power."
"I got help from my friend and teacher there," Ash said, looking back over to the other two. They had broken out of their awe by then.
"El niño over there takes on any fight, no matter how much bigger and stronger the foe seems," Sanchez said, pounding his chest with a fist. "Even me."
"Cunning has he too," Lotus said. "When raw power no good, weak spots seeks out he."
"That is wonderful," Joe said, smiling. "And to knock me off my tip, that is a feat that few can claim. I would be proud to claim you as my heritage. But, what are you doing?"
Ash shrugged. "Just going, for now," he admitted. "I wanted to find my fortune, but I wasn't sure where to start looking. So I started fighting while searching."
"That's in your blood. Hmmm…" Joe put his hand to his chin. "There is supposed to be a grand tournament coming up. It requires a team of four; I couldn't find anyone willing to fight alongside my fabulous self, so I wasn't going to bother. And then I heard that nearly everyone else has been sacred away from entering. It seems that a terrifying team has registered and no one wishes to go up against them. But that just really made me want to enter even more than before. Would you three be willing to enter the tournament if I were with you?"
"To fight something that scared off everyone else?" Ash asked. "Of course we will! Right guys?"
"Si, el niño," Sanchez said.
"As the cherry blossoms always come in spring, so shall we to this tournament come," Lotus added.
"Awesome, then let's go!" And so Joe Elegante joined Ash Kicksbutt, Sanchez Grande, and Lotus Strike on their journey. But now they had a goal.
A week later, they were passing through the gate into a grand stadium to the excited roar of the crowd. The opponent team had bullied every possible opposition away so that it was only Team Kicksbutt that was willing to participate against them. Ash led the way proudly as the other three walked (or spun) in a line behind him. Before them was a large oval arena lined with dirt and edged by tall walls. Above those sat hundreds of spectators from all around the land. It included the powerful King and the young Princess, said to be one of the most beautiful Pokemon of the world.
Coming in the far entrance was the infamous Team Shade. In front, there was a lanky Alakazam, floating their way using only telekinesis. In a line behind him were his teammates: a long scaly Gyrados, a mysterious floating Bronzong, and a strange whirling Porygon-Z. But they didn't scare Ash any.
The Alakazam twirled his silver spoons in his hands, looking unimpressed. "So, the only team of imbeciles that were foolish enough to come up against Shade is a bunch of nobodies lead by punk child? This is ridiculous. You ought to just give up now."
"No way!" Ash said. "We ain't nobody! We're Team Kicksbutt! We have the monster wrestler from the south and ground-pounder extraordinaire, Sanchez Grande! We have the Master of the Monkey Fist and acrobatic fire-eater, Lotus Strike! We have the one-mon army, road block, and pyramid maker, Joe Elegante! And there's me, the one who needs no introduction, Ash Kicksbutt! You are going down!"
The other team leader rolled his eyes. "Abuser of exclamation marks too? Very well. We are Team Shade, your worst nightmare. This is the end of the line for you; know this and despair." He flicked his hand as if shooing a fly and the battle began.
Then, to the cheers of the packed stadium, something extraordinary happened. Lotus was on the other side first, making fiery attacks with every one of her limbs to the Bronzong. Once she struck hard enough, it vanished. Joe whirled himself over to the Porygon-Z, grabbed it with his feet, then somersaulted into the air and smashed it into the ground. As he landed on his tip, it vanished too. And when Sanchez snatched up the Gyrados' tail and smacked it into the wall like a whip, it too disappeared.
"Like shades of the night to the morning dawn, they go?" Lotus asked.
"Aw, this ain't no real fight," Joe said, snorting.
"Si, amigos," Sanchez said, turning to the Alakazam. "Someone else here is the real nobody."
"Yeah, show yourself, coward!" Ash challenged, jumping to kick the 'leader' of Team Shade in the head.
He sailed right through thin air and turned to see a mere Abra, sitting on the ground. The Abra turned his head, shrinking down. "Eep," he said softly.
"And now you'll learn why my name fits now!" the Tyrogue shouted. He then proceeded to punt the trickster Abra into the air. He teleported away before he hit the ground, to the jeers and laughter of the stadium crowd.
But then the noise died down as the King came up to the microphone. "Well done, Team Kicksbutt," he said. "As a reward for winning the Grand Battle Tournament, you may have anything you ask for. What is it that you want?"
Ash turned to the King and crossed his arms over his chest. "What do you think we want?" he replied. "Reschedule the battle tournament so that we can really show off our stuff! That was a total waste of time."
And thus a new tournament was called. Ash led his team to a proper victory. This time, he had them all knighted so that they could travel the lands and kick bad guy butt in the name of the kingdom. And they lived (and fought) happily ever after.
…
Tyrogue Soul Silver entry: Even though it is small, it can't be ignored as it will slug any handy target without warning.
Hariyama FR/LG entry: It stomps on the ground to build power. It can send a 10-ton truck flying with a straight-arm punch.
Infernape Platinum entry: It uses unique fighting moves with fire on its hands and feet. It will take on any opponent.
Hitmontop Heart Gold entry: If you are enchanted by its smooth dance-like kicks, you may get a closer experience with one than you'd like.
Yes, it's silly, and I love it that way.
Also, I am already planning the first POS story for the fifth gen Pokemon. I have ten possibilities and I will write for two Pokemon. Please go to my profile and vote in the poll for which of the ten you want to see first! The votes will be much appreciated.