Destiny of the Cursed
Chapter 42: War can't break us
Light…There's too much light.
It was the first sensible thought that entered her topsy-turvy brain but even then, Katana had to replay it inside her head a couple of times just to really check if it sounded right. She scrunched up her eyes in an attempt to press her eyes even closer and felt a dull throb at the side of her face, pain radiating from the sore skin down to the inside of her skull.
The persistent agony was everywhere. On her limbs, on her muscles, vibrating deep within her bones and pounding within her head. It felt as if everything was freezing cold yet scorching hot at the same time. Shifting slightly from her current position to regain a sense of feeling, Katana hissed under her breath, regretting the idea of moving when a sharp pain shot through her whole body like lightning. Clammy fingers curled around the fabric that was placed below her, knuckles shaking as they gripped it tight in discomfort.
Loud murmurs echoed from all around her, making little to no sense at all. All her ringing ears caught were broken fragments of statements and the occasionally clear words but besides those, none of it made any sense. The acrid stench of blood lingered in the air around them, suffocating Katana, making her pounding head hurt even more.
Deciding to take on one dilemma at a time, the half-awake brunette disregarded the stupid gibberish, instead concentrating on prying her glued eyelids from one another, trying to see clearer behind the bleary haze that overtook her sight. Much to her surprise, even with the blinding light behind her closed lids, the world had faded into a dark background once the girl opened her eyes fully.
Thin eyebrows furrowed deeply. What was happening?
From a distance, the sound of people chattering filled her ears, footsteps echoing silently as shinobi ran back and forth. Near her head, she could make out a pitcher, a glass, a kunai and some medical supplies scattered haphazardly across the tray, her sword adjacent with it.
"Oh, you're awake!"
Katana jerked her head swiftly at the direction of the familiar voice, halting mid-way and biting her lip from groaning in pain when stiff shoulder muscles contracted against her will. Sympathetic chuckles erupted from the stranger beside her and again she turned—slowly, carefully this time around—to face the man. Grey eyes narrowed as they took in the dark wavy locks, a pair of wide, earnest hazel eyes and the pronounced jaw of the person hovering on top of her.
She grimaced, her bloodshot eyes feeling sore and painful as she concentrated on keeping them open. "K-Kyo…Kyosuke—" Wincing when the rough, unfamiliar voice escaped her, the brunette violently coughed a few times, her eyes watering as she swallowed to relieve her throat.
"Hey…Here, drink up."
Not bothering two even spare the liquid a glance of doubt, Katana made a firm grab for it, allowing herself to be helped up in a sitting position and downing the glass empty. Groaning once she was done drinking, Katana clutched one side of her head, face scrunching up in irritation. "My head..." She hissed, making the boy beside her bite his lips to prevent a worried frown.
Taking in a shuddering breath, the girl wiped away the moisture that dribbled down her chin and faced the boy once again. "What happened?" The question came out as a pathetic croak rather than in the firm tone that Katana was aiming for and the kunoichi's frown dug deeper, her migraine not at all helping her sour mood and deflated ego.
Blinking back with obvious confusion, Kyosuke set down the glass and inched nearer, frowning slightly as he observed Katana with an unwavering gaze.
"You don't remember?" He asked, then grimaced deeper, pulling away and adding, "Nothing…at all?"
"I remember fighting, if that's what you mean." She said curtly and heard Kyosuke exhale heavily in relief, muttering under his breath something along the lines of 'thank god it's not temporary amnesia'.
"I'm aware that I ran towards the battlefield and tried to help out. I'm also very much aware that I wasn't quite successful with that or I wouldn't be here, in pain and dressed in bandages." Katana responded as politely as she could and held back on the sarcasm, running a restless hand through her tangled locks and resisting the urge to sigh.
Try as she might, she found it almost impossibly hard not to snap at people in her current condition. Her wounds stung, her muscles were stiff, making every movement an effort, and her body felt positively drained of chakra. "Besides that though, no, I don't remember. I don't remember how I knocked myself out."
Nodding seriously as he listened to her, Kyosuke swallowed heavily and explained, "To tell you the truth, I don't really know what happened either." He admitted dejectedly, chewing on his lower lip. "All I know was that they said you guys needed medical attention immediately and so we medics ran towards the beach. The next thing I know, somebody was shoving me in your direction and yelling at me to do something about your being unconscious." He took in a deep breath and released it slowly, his eyes glued on Katana's hard expression.
"You had a concussion. A bad one."
"I—" All possible words died down inside Katana's mouth once the statement registered in her mind and she pressed her lips together into a thin line, uncertain on how to reply to the given information. "Oh…" She said finally, blinking in a slow manner, her eyebrows relaxing slightly as the fog of confusion inside her brain lessened at the explanation.
"You look surprised." Kyosuke observed with a stunned undertone, both eyebrows shooting up when Katana gave him a blank stare, one that was free of denial. "I…I take it you never had concussion before."
"No." Katana answered with undisguised bluntness, her tongue darting out between dry, chapped lips, "No, I haven't." Taking in a deep breath, Katana sighed heavily and swallowed, looking up, "How long have I been out?"
The sky above them was pure pitch black, the occasional star twinkling amidst the darkness. The girl's grimace deepened as she allowed the scenes of the earlier day to revolve around her head, the blanks in between filling themselves like puzzle pieces fitting in around one another.
Still, there was a gnawing feeling inside her chest, wordlessly telling her that there was something she wasn't remembering. "A few hours, I guess. Five hours, tops." She heard the boy say after a moment of thinking and she nodded absentmindedly, not wanting to break the silence that has taken over them again.
Grey eyes blinked once, then twice, slowly at both times. The same darkness welcomed her sight. Better black than bright red. Katana then added mentally as an afterthought, her eyes flying wide the minute she realized what had been missing from her hazy memories.
Unconsciously, her eyes closed in concentration as she tried to drown out the noises in the background, the battle unfolding behind her closed lids, everything repeating itself in black and white. Darui with his sword poised in front of him defensively, standing side by side Katana, Samui and Atsui appearing as back-up, Kinkaku forcing her down, burning her cheek. She remembered the biting heat of the burn, the way dried blood caked the edges of the wound and crimson liquid trickled down her face tauntingly, the way fear and anxiety clung to her like a second skin.
She remembered Samui's enraged shout of 'Atsui, you idiot!', followed by another scream, one that was made of heart-stopping desperation. That's it. The thought echoed inside her head and her breath hitched, throat constricting at the sudden build-up of had lost someone in the battle earlier. Atsui-san… She remembered so suddenly and a pang of agony hit her, her brows drawing together in a tight, pained furrow.
Immediately, images filled her head, images of the blonde shinobi lying on the cold, hard ground surrounded by a pool of his blood haunting her. Her chest contracted stiffly and she released a shuddering breath, her clammy hands fisting the sweat-drenched sheet below her. A-Atsui-san…Samui's scream when her brother was attacked replayed insistently over and over again inside her hollow mind, reverberating in her ringing ears.
Wait. No, stop…Stop. Stop it.
She could feel her emotions stirring from where they were locked away, the anger, pain and grief that filled her insides taking her aback. She opened her mouth, intending to suck in a much needed calming breath, but instead out came a desperate choked-out sob and before the realization could even dawn to her fully, she was hyperventilating; her chest heaving painfully, mouth left open as dry sobs and broken gasps escaped, grey eyes shut tight and bitter tears of pain streaming down the sides of her ashen face.
Two large hands settled down on either of her shoulders, shaking her gently, a worried voice cutting through the deafening echoes of her sobs. "Katana-san? Katana-san, what's wrong? Katana-san, calm down!" Her shaking fists clenched tighter in an effort to obey the medic, the desperation to gain back the control she had on her emotions nagging silently at the back of her mind.
"Are you okay? Does anything hurt?" Everything, Kyosuke. My arms, my head… my heart hurts. She wanted to say, the fact that she had lost a comrade and couldn't do anything about it searing painfully on her mind. Instead, the girl could only jerk away weakly as response, mouth dropping open as she drew in another sharp gasp. "S-Stop." She stuttered, surprised that she could even get the single syllable out in her current state.
"A-Atsui-san…d-dead—c-couldn't do a-anything…so much blood." She rasped out in broken explanation, one hand flying upwards and pressing down on where her heart was to try and calm it down.
Struck with the realization that her companion could only stare at her helplessly, Katana swallowed down her breathless cries, her free hand half-heartedly swiping at the teardrops that kept falling. "I—" She started in a croak, sucking in a breath and saying feebly, "I c-can't—breathe. I-I n-need—" Unable to express her pent-up frustration and agony, she banged her fist down on the tray situated beside them, a loud crack resonating as her hand collided none-too-gently with the hard rusty metal.
"H-Hey, calm down. Take a deep breath. Inhale." Taking her fist off the poor tray, Kyosuke instructed her firmly as he brushed away the wetness from her face, his warm palms soothing Katana's nerves and letting it out as calmly as she can with her heart still roaring inside her chest. "Exhale. That's it." He encouraged, one of his hands holding hers and soothingly rubbing it to bring warmth to the icy fingers.
After a moment of a few more pathetic hiccups and shaky breaths, Katana could feel her control of herself reigning in again and red-rimmed grey eyes trailed up to fix themselves on hazel ones. Tense silence was shared between them, one of which was broken by Kyosuke, the boy coughing into his hand lightly as he averted his gaze down.
"Are you alright now?" He released her shoulders and glanced up, peering through his lashes shyly as he took in the kunoichi's once-again rhythmic breathing pattern.
Letting out an unstable exhale, Katana nodded once, her jaws locking tightly at how easy her emotions flowed out like water from a broken dam. "I-I'm okay." Her heart still ached and her migraine was worse than ever but at least she had air inside her lungs now.
"Thank you." She said and put effort to make it at least a little sincere-sounding. "And…I'm sorry." She added afterward, lips pressed down in an embarrassed manner, her fists squeezing themselves painfully. "I usually have—h-have control over this. I'm sorry. I don't understand why—"
"Hey", interrupted Kyosuke kindly, one side of his mouth quirking up in a sympathetic smile, "it's fine." The boy said softly, meeting her exhausted eyes with his warm gaze. "We all have our moments." Chuckling shortly and smiling again, he stared down to where their hands were still joined in a loose hold.
The medic-nin blushed at the sight, startled, and reluctantly retracted his hand away. "D-Do you—" he coughed out, rubbing the back of his neck, "do you wanna talk about it? Talking helps, y'know."
Dully staring back with half-lidded eyes, Katana gave out a shuddering exhale and shook her head stiffly, blocking out the disturbing thoughts from entering her mind once again. "No." She answered and decided it was for the best, really. In her current state of unstable body and mind, it was better to forget the haunting reality and save it for later contemplation. Noticing the way the lad's hopeful expression fell apart in disappointment, she eyed him gratefully—at least as grateful as she could look with the dark circles under her eyes and her pale, tired face—and added. "But thanks."
Blinking twice and beaming lopsidedly, Kyosuke shook his head, unbothered by the brown hair that fell down his forehead, almost covering his eyes. "That's okay, I understand." He reassured, standing up from where he sat on her makeshift mattress and jamming his hands inside his pockets.
"You're showing signs of a post-concussion syndrome. The headache, the memory lapse, the lack of patience—" he pointed out, to which the girl flushed red in embarrassment. "—the emotional overload. Don't worry about it though. You'll experience the symptoms a few more times over the week, so don't be frustrated. Also, you'll have difficulty with sleeping but try to at least catch a few winks. With the right amount of rest and the help of soldier pills", he took hold of a transparent plastic container from where it was perched on the abused platter and shook it, dark green tablets rattling inside, "you'll be back in shape in no time."
"I—" Stopping herself short of protesting on the part about 'rest', Katana sighed and jerked her head down once in defeated agreement, "Okay. Thank you."
Nodding again as she trailed off, the brunette looked down to where her left forearm was bandaged, the white cloth appearing in her line of view again as her eyes darted down to exposed ankle, the same ankle she had sprained minutes after the head injury, just because she was too stupid to consider falling down properly in a much safer way. Dammit. "I guess I should go back to sleep." She suggested lowly, unable to bear the weight of the exhaustion and emotional burden any longer.
Kyosuke let out a hum of understanding and nodded easily, stepping back. "I'll take my leave then." He turned his back on her and proceeded to walk away, only to halt in his third step and give her a last smile, "I'll be at the medical tent if you need anything. Good night, Katana-san."
Katana managed a spiritless beam in return, her hand running through her messy locks for the nth time that night. "Thank you, Kyosuke. For taking care of me, I mean. And I'm sorry if I…" her smile turned rueful and she met his gaze gently, "wasn't being the best company tonight." His chuckles made her stiff muscles relax subconsciously and the two of them shared a beam and a nod, the shinobi then walking away for real.
"Good night, Kyosuke-san."
The brunette settled back down on her mat, her headache diminishing compared to the last hour. She took a few minutes of simply staring at the dark, almost starless sky, breathing in and out, trying not to think of anything anymore. The feeling of discomfort was still there, her body still aching and sore. Grief, sadness, burnt-out rage…they were churning inside her chest restlessly—relatively calmer now, but still present nonetheless—keeping her from sleep, just like Kyosuke mentioned earlier.
Unwillingly closing her eyes, Katana reached a hand up her neck, blindly groping for a thin string and pulling it out, and clutched the small hourglass. As if working its magic on her, the girl felt herself relax, the chakra infused within the necklace soothing her frantic nerves. The sensation and the gentle noise of sand swirling across the glass surface lulled her to sleep, the image of a certain redhead the last thing left on her hazy mind.
The next two days of war were nothing but unwilling trips to hell's place on everyone's part. The fights were equivalent to rowdy bloodbaths, filling their ears with enraged roars and desperate screams. Blood kept on spilling from both sides; there was no place left unstained by crimson—on vests, on weapons, on the dirt ground and all over the shore, painting the rocky cliffs a sickening shade of red.
Whenever the battles ceased, the first division found themselves taking into contemplation the problem about increasing corpses, dead bodies creating horrendous and sickeningly tall piles all around the previously white expanse of the beach.
'This is gonna be a lot of work.' Katana remembered the Akimichi clan leader, Chouza, telling her as he shook his head dejectedly at the sight of the shredded, unrecognizable cadavers, 'That's one thing I can tell ya, kiddo.' None of them had wanted to do the disposal job; the idea of piling up the bodies of your dead comrades—and dead enemies, fortunately—into an organized heap and then burn them afterwards so they could stop being troublesome was not at all pleasant.
But someone had to do it and so Katana found herself spending a surprisingly free evening alone after another session of what she'd learn to call 'throw and burn' with Chouza and a few other shinobi, her body sore and aching everywhere from all the carrying and heaving that she did. Her tattered Konoha vest reeked and was stained with dried blood and other substances that she'd rather not know, the once green article of clothing now reduced to a blotchy brownish moss color.
Grunts of effort escaped the girl that sat on the edge of the cliff she'd taken a liking to, sweat collecting in her hairline as she inhaled brokenly through her nose, bloodshot eyes trying to stay into focus. The left sleeve of her shirt was rolled up until her shoulder, exposing the dull red color of her cuts.
Eyebrows furrowed deeply in concentration, her eyes glaring a hole on the loose white cloth that wrapped messily around her forearm and dangled between her teeth. Why the hell is this so damn complicated to do? Katana found herself asking wordlessly as she fought with the uncooperative bandage cloth, letting out another short growl when it slipped off her wound for the fourth time.
Am I so useless now that I can't even do my own bandages?
Spitting out the cloth out of her mouth as she gave up trying, she dropped it to her side and closed her eyes, her fingers pinching the bridge of her nose. A sigh escaped her mouth, eyelids pressing tighter.
I can't understand this…this frustration.
Every movement was agonizing, feeling like a blow to the gut, muscles straining with every little shift in her position. This paranoia, this guilt, this anger…I wonder where this is coming from. The silence that surrounded her was deafening and cold, not to mention heartless; it left the girl alone with mental images of bloody corpses that she'd just interacted with and depressing thoughts of 'what ifs'.
They'd lost many men in the span of two days, several of which Katana could recall fighting alongside with. It was a miserable thing to reminisce, especially in times like these and Katana knew that. It wasn't as if she wanted to ponder on them any further than necessary; the thoughts came naturally and often times, the girl would ask herself quietly if there was something she could've possibly done to prevent another death that had occurred earlier that day.
If there was, why hadn't she done it?
What prevented her from saving a life?
Deep down inside, Katana knew there wasn't really anything she could've done at that time; she didn't know how things would go, it wasn't her fault. But somehow, it felt so much better to have something, someone to take the blame and blaming herself seemed like a good option rather than having nothing at all to validate all the overwhelming negative emotions she had been carrying since the day she had passed out.
Maybe it's the head injury talking, she told herself with a faltering stubbornness, feeling desperate more than anything as she began to make pathetic excuses again, Kyosuke did tell me I'll experience them a few more times.
The kunoichi sighed again, her fingers reaching up to trace the dried wounds on her forearm. Pain stung her like sharp needles but the girl remained stoic, her touch fleeting and faint as her calloused fingertips danced across the scarred part. These days I just feel so…so anxious. I c-can't—
Opening her eyes slowly and drinking in the sight of trees surrounding the area, she inhaled, letting it out part by part. There weren't many shinobi left hanging around where she was staying; most of them, she had seen earlier briskly walking back and forth, either helping the injured or being helped themselves.
Injured's better off than dead, I guess. She can't help but add the sarcastic thought mentally, jaw clenched tight as unpleasant images filled her head for the nth time. Grimacing, she shook her head, disgust mixing in with the grief she felt.
"Katana-sama."
The voice cut through her thoughts of misery and self-loathing, the buzzing silence disappearing. Despite the familiarity of the deep voice, Katana found herself stiffening in her place, chakra scattering in frenzy as she cautiously twisted her torso to meet the newcomer.
"Darui-sempai." She acknowledged, shoulders sagging with unconscious relief, her posture slumping just a fraction. Much to her surprise, her right hand loosened its grip on the hit of her weapon that was placed on the ground beside her. She hadn't even been aware that she reached out for her sword.
Distractedly, Katana took in the sight of Darui's familiar face, taking note of how his normally relaxed expression seemed washed out, anxiety and worry dancing in his charcoal gaze. "What are you doing here?" She asked just as the older man pushed himself away from where he was rooted to the ground and approached the girl with careful steps, as if inwardly knowing that quick and sudden movements would make her flinch.
"I thought I'd check up on you." He answered briefly, dropping down to her eye level, legs thrown carelessly over the edge as he sat down on the cold, smooth rock. He faced forward to stare at the sky, where splashes of red, orange, violet, navy and fading yellow overlapped each other in a breathtaking way, but the sunset didn't enthrall him like it was supposed to.
Exhaustion was evident in the way his eyes were drooping more so than usual, dark shadows present underneath. The lazy smile he wore was nowhere to be found and with the additional grazes and nicks that he had on his cheeks and forehead, he looked downright wrecked.
"Chouza-san said you ran off the minute you guys finished." The blonde Kumo shinobi began, concern thick in his tone. "When you didn't return right away, we got worried." Sighing, he turned to Katana and managed a tired, lopsided smile of reassurance and comfort, both of which they needed badly.
Katana returned the gesture, albeit a little weakly, and said, "Sorry. I didn't mean to run off. I just—" she stopped, swallowing back the lump in her throat, uncertain of her next words, "I just needed fresh air. The smell was suffocating me." She reasoned lamely, looking down to her lap and frowning.
"It's been bothering you again, hasn't it?"
"What has?" Glancing up and meeting dark orbs, Katana beamed ruefully, her gaze shining with unspoken sadness, "Sorry, but you're going to have to specify. A lot of things have been bothering me lately." She said with dry humor and grinned slightly when the latter chuckled nonetheless. A short moment of silence engulfed them as Darui's laughter died down, the man letting out of huff before settling for a sympathetic smile, his hand reaching out to pat one of Katana's shoulders gently.
"It's normal…you feeling this way: jumpy, anxious, angry, emotional and just a tad bit overwhelmed. War tends to rip out a tiny piece of your soul every day and soon, you find yourself left hollow on the inside. Trust me, I know. I've been to war before. It's better when you don't think about it." He said as his warm hand slipped away, his attention returning again to the quickly darkening sky. "People who think about it often find themselves ending up in a mental institute or six feet below the ground earlier than necessary."
The bright colors were fading away, streaks of blue, violet and black taking over.
Grey eyes fixed themselves on the calm expression plastered on the blonde man's face, incredulity flashing off the girl's gaze as she kept studying her companion. Now that Darui had finally found her, it seemed that all his earlier worry had gone away; his face was slack again, the anxious creases between his eyebrows lessened and the lazy smile he had was back in place.
Katana didn't want to believe it, but she was nearly convinced that her captain was actually unbothered by all the bloodshed, all the heaps of dead bodies—half of which were their previously alive comrades—and that the only things he was concerned about were carrying out battlefield strategies and considering her safety. For a quick second, she was almost tempted to scream at him in frustration and envy.
How could he be so carefree? It wasn't fair that the things disturbing her mind, conscience and rare slumbers weren't pestering him in the same manner.
Before she could register what she was doing, her mouth opened on its own accord and the brunette heard herself asking, "How do you do it?" The older shinobi craned his neck to the side, arching an eyebrow in a mixture of curiosity and confusion at the sudden inquiry. "Hm? What do you mean?"
Katana sighed, body slumping dejectedly. It was no use taking back the question when he'd already acknowledged it. Clearing her throat and gathering her legs inside her arms, she perched her chin on top of her knees and repeated, "I mean, how do you get yourself to stop thinking? Why doesn't it bother you?" She asked, feeling a rush of emotions flow through her veins once more. Eyebrows creased together deeply in dismay as Katana recalled Atsui's death, the way it all happened so fast and yet in seemingly slow motion at the same time.
Sympathy crossed Darui's expression for a fleeting minute and his gaze softened in understanding, shifting in his seat to inch closer. The jounin bumped his shoulder against hers gently and offered her a sad smile when she glanced up with murky grey eyes.
"Just think of it this way." He murmured in a low voice as if sharing a helpful secret. "The harder you try to stay alive and fight back, the more people you'll actually save."
Exhaling and leaning back with his palms flat against the ground, his beam vanished, a thoughtful frown replacing it. "I used to be like you, too." He said, gaze distant and shiny as he reminisced a few years past. "I was two years younger than you are when I was first called into the battlefield. I was young, I was stubborn…" he paused, blinking slowly, "I thought and cared too much about things, focusing on the details instead of seeing the bigger picture. Let's just say I finally realized that what I was doing, I was doing for the greater good."
He craned his neck and faced the girl. "We're all in this for the greater good. Remember that this is what they wanted and agreed to; every one of us knew the risks of this battle." He turned to the sky again, now completely dark. So much time had gone by without the two of them even noticing. "Dying here is dying a noble death fit for a shinobi."
Looking down on the beach full of broken weapons and corpses below them, Katana wanted to argue that their deaths certainly did not look as 'noble' as Darui had put it but she nodded begrudgingly, unable to disagree with the logic of his tale. If she didn't want to be held back and kept safe in the first place, what made her think the others would want to be protected too?
Tiredly, she rubbed her face and brushed back her hair, staring up at the dark, moonless sky. It seemed like even the night was as restless as she was. "Thank you, Sempai." She croaked out, trying to at least sound a tad bit sincere. She saw Darui nod once from the corner of her eye and he stood up, making her turn her full attention at him.
"Going so soon?"
"It's already dark out." Darui replied simply and buried his hands inside his pockets. "I need to meet up with Chouza-san to discuss battle tactics." Pulling out his left hand from his pocket, he held out a rumpled piece of parchment to Katana. Taking it, the brunette shot him a skeptical look but the latter merely smiled and said "It's from Shikamaru" as a short explanation before biding goodbye and goodnight. Frowning, Katana pushed it in arm's length, eyebrows drawn together in the middle in confusion. "Why would Shikamaru send me a letter…?" Unfolding the note, grey eyes scanned the scribbled words thoroughly, her eyes widening as she decoded an inside message from it.
'It's quite a challenge trying to catch a few winks of sleep in this catastrophe, isn't it? Gaara is holding out as long as he could, don't worry.
I'm exhausted. Alive and well are the men here, though, and I pray they remain in the same state until after the war.
Hope is the only thing that can save us from this situation now. You are probably as busy as everyone is, possibly wounded too. Are you okay? Too much things had taken place in such a short span of time.
I can't believe I have to recall everything that's happened for the written report. Had the world gone mad? A written report is unnecessary, don't you think so? Rather than that, isn't an oral report better? Unpleasant, that's what written reports are! Meeting up with Tsunade-sama would be a troublesome pain in the ass later on. With everything happening right now, I can't be bothered with a stupid report! My god, give me a break. Father is so lucky that he's in a high-ranking position; he doesn't have to do reports anymore, the bastard. But then again, being the strategist of the whole war is also troublesome. I'm torn between being thankful and feeling unlucky. Alright, let's wrap this letter up.
Remember to stay rehydrated and clean your wounds to avoid infection, by the way. I do these things to prevent an early death. Love the view here in the mountains. You would be envious.
Stay alert though. Safe is better than too late.'
-Shikamaru
The note crinkled at the edges from where her fingers coiled on it a little too tightly and the kunoichi had to bite down on her lower lip to keep a horrified whimper from escaping her. She remembered the conversations they had about the previous Kazekage well enough to know that the man wasn't a pleasant person.
It had been a sore topic for the redhead, so he avoided dwelling on it too much, but he at least had the decency to relay to her the important parts. Gaara… She thought worriedly, a thousand thoughts and scenarios already crossing her mind. If he really had met the man just as he said in the letter, then was he alright? Was he wounded physically? Emotionally? Did that man scar him even more so than he already was?
"Dammit…" Katana hissed, closing her eyes shut as she willed herself not to burst out into tears from the overwhelming feeling of it all. She inhaled sharply, shuddering when the cold air stung her lungs and her sensitive nose picked up the stench of blood that lingered in the air.
First, my comrades…And now, Gaara?
Letting out a ragged sigh, the girl opened her eyes and clenched her jaw, her mind made up. She stood up stiffly, snatching up her weapon and tying it quickly to her hip.
"I have to see him…"
"Alright. Everybody here? We'll be leaving in five minutes!"
Katana's eyebrows rose in genuine surprise, hearing the volume of the younger Nara's voice. In her whole life, she'd never heard Shikamaru's tone sound so commanding before. Just what had happened in the battlefield that prompted the sudden change of attitude in her usually laidback friend?
Grimacing, Katana shook her head slowly and looked down to resume her earlier work of adjusting the straps of her holsters, deciding that whatever it was that happened, she'd rather not know. She'd seen and heard too much already, just from the past two weeks, and she wasn't sure she wanted more sickeningly tragic stories.
"You seem alright."
Katana's attention flickered towards the lean boy standing in front before her eyes turned back to the task at hand. She gave out a small smile, not quite happy-looking but welcoming nonetheless. "You seem okay yourself." She said and dropped her hands to face the shinobi fully. "I received your message."
Shikamaru raised an eyebrow, uninterested, and nodded once. "I presumed just as much or you wouldn't be joining our group." The Nara frowned then, as if remembering something he was curious about. "By the way, how'd you manage to get Darui to let you join us? From what I've heard from the others, he wouldn't even let you out of his sight." His dark eyes fixed themselves at the girl's tired expression.
Katana shrugged simply and walked to where her pack was situated, Shikamaru trailing behind her. The brunette took out her canteen and opened it, taking a mouthful of water. "How is he?" She asked, ignoring his earlier question. The latter sighed. "Alive." Shikamaru said shortly and sighed again, rubbing the back of his neck. "He's fine, Katana. Tem's acting as his right hand in the meantime to fill in for me."
Katana froze, her eyebrows furrowing. She narrowed her eyes at Shikamaru.
"Who's Tem?" She asked incredulously, a grin threatening to break out of her face.
Tense silence enveloped them as Shikamaru froze as well, his composed face draining of color as the realization of what he said dawned to him. He swallowed and turned on his heel, letting his back face Katana as he explained, "She has a very long name. Two syllables too long. It's troublesome to pronounce fully." The boy began walking away, his arms stretching up above his head as if nothing had taken place. "I don't call her that in her face, of course. She'd kill me."
"Right." Katana said, unconvinced, and she kept the grin even as she followed him towards the group. Rolling her eyes, she took her place, slinging her pack over her shoulders. "Too long, my ass."
"Move out!"
And just like that, the single phrase brought back the feeling of worry and gnawing fear, picking at the seams of her heart as she took off with the others.
The sight of smoke and overturned boulders that littered the vast desert was the first thing that welcomed Katana at their arrival. The brunette halted in her tracks, eyes wide as she took in everything. Shinobi ran back and forth, mostly in confused circles, many of them shouting orders from the top of their lungs.
The organized group that they had when they came had dissipated; everyone ran off into several directions. She was the only one left standing, glued to where she was, and she watched as chaos erupted in front of her, the familiar numbness spreading across her chest. The sound of an explosion snapped her out of the trance she was in and Katana's eyes hardened as she began running with the others.
"Fall back!" Someone from the crowd screamed and the effect it had was immediate. The sea of shinobi racing for the origin of the explosion recoiled as if burned and they stayed back when another barked order echoed, "No one is to interfere with the fight! Kazekage's orders!" The brunette tensed from where she stood—stuck within the unmoving crowd, in between a Sand shinobi and one from Kumo, elbows and shoulders unintentionally bumping and bruising her—as she heard the redhead's title uttered.
Grey eyes darted in front, wide with panic and suppressed worry, and Katana pushed herself on her tiptoes, trying to see beyond the vast crowd. Strings of curses flew out under her breath once she realized that it was simply physically impossible to see what was happening from such a distance and even when she squinted in concentration, hoping to narrow in on the scenes, the only things she could make out were tiny, dark figures of what could've been Gaara or even someone else, for that matter.
"Dammit." Hissing out in aggravation, Katana scanned the tightly-packed audience for a familiar face and caught a blur of yellow and brown from the corner of her eye. "Temari!" Katana yelled out with fervor, hope crashing into her system at the sight of the older kunoichi.
"Temari!" She called out for the second time around, pushing through people to reach the blonde that was standing just a few feet away from her. It proved to be a more difficult task than she'd thought; the crowd was compressed and the people were stiff and unresponsive, almost as if they were dazed into watching the battle unfold before them. With a few grunts of effort and unwilling shoves, the girl escaped the confines of the crowd and found herself standing beside the woman with four pigtails.
"Temari." Clamping a hand down on the blonde's shoulder, Katana exhaled breathlessly, retracting her hand when the latter swerved around in alarm. "Temari, it's me." The brunette said, her breaths coming out uneven. She took in a calming deep breath and watched Temari's deep turquoise eyes widen in surprise.
"Katana? What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in another division? Did you come here by yourself?" At the flurry of questions, Katana swallowed and hastily shook her head a hard 'no', much to the confusion of the older girl.
"It's a long story. I'll explain later." She reassured, glancing around in worry and giving in to the frown that was tugging at the sides of her mouth.
"What's happening? Why are we standing here doing nothing?"
"Gaara's fighting against the former Mizukage." Temari said briefly, a hard grimace set in her features as well. "Tsuchikage-sama is with him but it's hard to predict the outcome of the fight." The blonde released a silent sigh, a flicker of sisterly concern and protectiveness dancing across her gaze.
"The second Mizukage was known to be an impeccable genjutsu user." Temari clenched her jaws unconsciously as ropes of sand flew into the sky—no doubt belonging to Gaara—catching both their attentions for a quick moment. "We've been attacking him relentlessly for a few hours now and yet all we've accomplished was to destroy some fake copies of himself."
"I see. How long have they been—"
A sudden explosion interrupted her and both women staggered back at the sound, the rest of the audience falling into an echo of worried gasps and hasty murmurs. Placing an arm in front of her face to shield her eyes from the dry gust of air that followed, Katana narrowed her gaze and gritted her teeth.
"This is insane!" She snarled, her free hand curling into a tight fist. "How can we just stand here? We have to do something!"
"Trust me; we tried, Katana." Temari placated in a calm tone, setting her hand down on Katana's arm. "If we interfere, we're just going to be burdens."
"But—"
"Katana, he's going to be fine." The older one said shortly, making her pause. Katana fell silent, her glare dropping to the sand below their feet. It wasn't fair; her fiancé was fighting against someone possibly stronger than him and risking his life, with nothing but an old man to act as his back-up and there they were, standing far away and watching and being so completely useless. Katana could feel her blood boiling just from the thought of it all.
A hand settled down on her shoulder gently and she looked up, jaws still locked despite the comforting green eyes that held her glare in place.
"He'll be fine. He's been through tougher situations. Gaara can handle this."
Another set of detonations erupted and the crowd shared a chorus of horrified gasps, Katana's heart skipping a beat at the noise and her grimace deepening. She inhaled sharply, letting it out as a shaky sigh and glanced at the battlefield before snapping her eyes back to Temari.
"You don't know that." She murmured grudgingly, her voice overpowered by the noise of the people that surrounded them but the blonde caught it. "He's fighting with someone who's using makeshift bombs. Who does that remind you of?" She asked bitterly, familiar images of a certain blonde bomber flashing before her eyes and leaving her mouth tasting like ashes. She could still remember fighting against the Akatsuki member, could vaguely recall falling from the sky while clutching Gaara's cold body in a death grip, a deafening boom chasing them.
Beside her, Temari's breath hitched in realization but she scowled and tilted her chin up in a stubborn manner.
"Gaara can do it." She insisted.
"He could die. Again." Katana pointed out angrily, grey eyes flashing with hidden fear. "He died once and he was lucky to have someone there to bring him back but what about now? Chiyo-baa-sama's not here anymore and I'm certain there's no one else that could perform a reviving jutsu." Clenching her hands into fists until her knuckles were white with pressure, she unwilling shifted her attention towards the fight, flinching when yet another explosion occurred. Screams and frustrated shouts were heard on the battlefield and the people in the front lines of the crowd fell into a tense silence.
"He was willing to risk himself for the safety of his people before. Who's to say he's not going to attempt that again?" Desperation laced her unstable voice and the blonde by her side could only frown helplessly, her moss-colored eyes flickering back to the battle.
Worry bubbled up in the pit of her stomach as Katana kept her gaze trained to the sky, holding her breath as she searched for any sign of the redhead. "C'mon, Gaara…" she whispered hoarsely to herself, grey irises darting from side to side, scanning the whole expanse of the sky anxiously.
Do something…anything…just please, show me you're safe…
An ear-piercing explosion erupted violently—more so than the previous ones—and everyone took a fearful step back, the roar that echoed after it filling their ears and shaking the ground they were standing on. Sand and scorching, dry wind rushed towards them and with wide, alarmed eyes, Katana fell on her knees and ducked for cover, just like everyone else did.
She shut her eyes close, her teeth clenched and muscles stiff in pain as the blistering air blew by her, stinging her arms and face, and she waited for the noise to fade away, the ground underneath her hot and dry and blistering her knees.
Gaara, stay safe. Stay safe. Stay safe, please.
"This is the sand shield!"
"K-Kazekage-sama….Kazekage-sama protected us!"
"We're alive…Alive! We're alive!"
"Where is Gaara-sama?"
Tentatively, her eyelids fluttered open at the grateful cheers and overwhelmed cries, her gaze instinctively traveling up to the sky. Grey eyes widened and the girl's mouth fell agape as she drank in the sight of a gigantic statue of a woman made out of sand, her arms raised up and around the crowd, creating a protective dome around them and blocking their view of the battlefield.
Awe struck her for a moment and along with the crowd, Katana released a choked-out chuckle of relief, a small smile subconsciously appearing in her face. "This is…" She turned to the side and spared Temari a concerned glance and she noticed the blonde gazing at her with a satisfied smirk on her face. Rising from where she was kneeling on the ground, the older girl pulled up Katana with her, both of them sharing a knowing grin.
"Amazing, isn't it?" Temari remarked, pride flashing through her dark green eyes, her gaze unusually soft as she stared at the carved wall of sand, her tone coated with fondness. "Gaara discovered this right after he confronted our late father…"
As the redhead's name finally clicked in her dazed mind, the smile on her face melted away into a mask of horror and gut-wrenching nausea, just then realizing what was terribly wrong with the situation. "Katana..?" Temari asked after a brief pause, her own smile slipping out of her expression as she scrutinized the younger kunoichi with concern. "You okay?"
The question was barely registered by her ears, the drumming of her pulse and the thunderous echo of the boy's name drowning out Temari's voice. "Gaara." The brunette breathed out lowly, her heart stopping; saying the name out loud felt like a punch to the gut. Scrambling to gather her scattered thoughts and unable to form a coherent sentence to explain, Katana turned on her heel and ran, much to the shock of her companion.
"Katana, where are you going?" The blonde demanded, hand lashing out in an attempt to grab and pull back the girl but Katana slipped away faster than she expected. "Katana, get back here! You can't go there!" Temari demanded anxiously, shoving away the shinobi near her to run after the brunette. "Katana!" Cursing under her breath as she lost sight of the younger kunoichi, Temari shook her head in frustration and released a loud sigh. "That girl…"
"Dammit, Gaara."
Brown eyebrows were drawn together in the middle, knitting tightly in barely concealed rage and anxiety. Sweat traveled down the sides of her face, mixing with the sand and dirt that clung to her skin. Eyes were narrowed, red-rimmed—irritated from the dust that the wind carried along, and glassy with emotion. Katana swore loudly in anger as she pushed the shinobi out of her way, the profanities spilling out of her making the people near her recoiling back by themselves and stepping away from her furious aura.
The glares and dirty looks thrown in her way were all but ignored by the brunette, her brain registering nothing but a certain redhead. "Stubborn, noble bastard…" She hissed out next, the stifling atmosphere that resulted from being in the compressed crowd flaring her temper up even more. "He promised, that jerk…!"
Shoving away the last remaining line of soldiers than blocked her way, the girl jogged past the giant wall of protective sand, exhaustion latching onto her legs and shaky knees.
"Hey, you can't go in there! Kazekage's orders!"
Katana paid no attention to the shouts of warning coming from the shinobi she left behind and continued on her way, stormy grey eyes set in a cold glower. A permanent-looking scowl was etched on her face and she dashed towards the battlefield with all her remaining strength, despite the heavy weight on her shoulders. The few numbers of shinobi present in the open area turned to her hastily, stunned at her appearance and sudden entrance.
"O-Oi", one of them stuttered as she trudged past them to reach the area with the most sand, "stop right there!" He reached out to stop her, hand grabbing the sleeve of her shirt. The girl whirled around in a shockingly fast pace, her glare flashing to the man's direction and causing them to back off in surprise. She grimaced at them before averting her eyes to the ground and turning her back at them to continue walking.
"It's fine." She called out to them curtly, picking up her brisk pace. "Kazekage-sama knows me." Pausing in her tracks, she craned her head back to look at them again—to which the soldiers reacted with a few scared flinches and took several steps back—and said, "You should follow me. They might be in need of assistance."
"B-But…the bombs—"
"The explosions stopped a while ago, didn't they? Let's go. They need help in the sealing process."
Facing forward and not bothering to wait for them any further, Katana ran to where she noticed a rather eye-catching pyramid, no doubt some kind of sealing jutsu. As she neared, she realized that a head was poking out of the very top of the structure and even more surprisingly, it was still speaking to someone below. "Your friend's kind of dorky, compared to you, Kazekage…" She heard it say and her glare returned, her heart pounding nervously inside her chest despite her angry appearance.
Relief crashed into her like a wave of cold water, shocking her whole system into temporary numbness and her muscles relaxing against her will.
He's alive…Gaara's alive.
The brunette walked around the pyramid and saw two figures, both men; one blonde and the other gifted with blood red locks. Her attention shifted towards the blonde one in disbelief. "Naruto?" Katana asked incredulously, her voice startling the two shinobi and causing them to turn to her direction. Her breath caught in her throat as the boy in question faced her, familiar whiskered cheeks and a large, surprised grin brightening the boy's already cheerful expression.
"Katana-chan." Naruto acknowledged with a broken laugh, tears of nostalgia welling up in his eyes. Despite her earlier anger, Katana could feel her lips quirking up in a hopeful grin, happiness enveloping her as she watched her friend run excitedly towards her. "Katana-chan!"
"Naruto, you're here!" She chuckled out hoarsely as the blonde crashed into her and tackled her inside a bone-crushing hug, lifting her up and twirling her in the air easily. She wrapped her arms around his neck and laughed tearfully, breathing in and inhaling the familiar scent that he had.
"God, I missed you." She sighed out contentedly the minute he let her feet touch the ground again, her arms slipping down from his shoulders.
Naruto pulled back slightly and gave her a watery grin, sniffing as he said, "I missed you too, Katana-chan. I missed you and Sakura-chan and Kaka-sensei and Tsunade-baa-chan and Hinata-chan and idiot Kiba and—"
"Katana?"
The velvety voice, full of confusion and relief alike, interrupted the blonde's rambling and both friends whirled around to face the dazed redhead, whose aquamarine eyes were trained only at the girl. Grey eyes met familiar aquamarine and Katana's pulse jumped up, racing inside her and running miles at the breathtaking sight of the boy. They shared a look, their gazes softening unconsciously as they took in each other's appearance.
Gaara…you're okay. You're okay. I was so worried…
Although relieved and happy and very much grateful of the fact that he was alive, once broken out of the reverie, Katana narrowed her eyes in realization and scowled at the redheaded shinobi, her fists clenching tightly at her sides.
Gaara, you jerk... you had me worried. I was so worried and for what? This…this jerk, this bastard—this stupid, stupid Kazekage—
Naruto blanched, his sapphire orbs shifting to his redheaded friend. "Oi, dude, she's not happy." He pointed out nervously, swallowing.
"You." Katana bit out harshly, letting her earlier fury wash over her again. Slowly, she left Naruto's side and made her way towards the dumbstruck Kage, stomping angrily on the sand. She halted in front of him, glowering him down despite the visible height difference. Gaara's dark-ringed orbs were uncharacteristically wide as they focused themselves on the brunette's seething expression and he stared without a care, seemingly entranced by the girl's mere presence.
"Katana…" he breathed out softly, his deep voice sending shivers down her spine and the kunoichi cursed herself for reacting, her jaw clenching even harder.
"You…" she repeated again in a hiss, undeterred by the look of plain adoration on the boy's face, her balled fists shaking in irritation. "You bastard." The profanity snapped Gaara out of his daze and back to reality and the lean young lad blinked in shock, his mouth turning down in a small frown of confusion.
"What…?"
The redhead watched as the girl snapped her eyes to the ground, glancing around as if in search of something, her mouth still contorted in an enraged grimace. Katana crouched down and swiped her hand hastily on the ground, balling them and standing up once more. Finally, her glare flickered back to him.
"You stupid, stupid bastard!" Katana ground out through gritted teeth and flung the handful of sand she held at the boy, swearing in frustration when he dodged it just in time before it collided with his face. "You idiot!" She screamed again, kicking the sand to his direction childishly, her chest heaving in anger and frustration and exhaustion, the three dominant above all other emotions.
Staggering back a safe distance away from the furious girl, Gaara stared at her dumbly, speechless, "Katana…I—"
"No!" The brunette snapped angrily, letting her fists fall back down to her sides again. "You don't get to talk. You promised, Gaara! You promised me you'd stay alive and what did you do? You—!"
"I am alive." Gaara said hesitantly with a confused frown, reaching out to grasp her wrist. Eyeing his outstretched hand, Katana jerked away grudgingly, glowering at him. "Just barely!" She said and let out an exasperated sigh, closing her eyes shut and running a hand through her hair as she felt the exhaustion finally catching up with her.
"You fought single-handedly against a skilled shinobi who uses bombs…for the second time now." She told him, her voice drained out of anger, worry and fear the only ones left. She pressed her lips tightly as she continued her sentence, "You could've died. You could've died again and I couldn't have done anything about it anymore. I saw you dead once, Gaara. Once was painful enough already. I saw you dead once and it was because of him, because of that—t-that…"
She stopped in mid-sentence when she felt two large hands settle down the sides of her face, warmth radiating from the callous palms seeping into her cheeks and long fingers curling into her brown locks. Against her will, tension left her body and reluctantly, she opened her eyes, staring up at the sea green orbs that looked down at her.
Gaara's expression was gentle, apologizing and Katana couldn't prevent the way her heart drummed mockingly against her chest, especially when the redhead leaned in and brought his forehead down on hers.
"I'm sorry." He said in a repentant whisper, his lips close enough to brush against her mouth as he spoke. "I'm sorry I worried you." This time, he ended his sentence with a chaste kiss, pressing his mouth on hers in an innocent manner. "I'm sorry I scared you."
His strong arms wrapped around her smaller frame, resting on her hips as he pulled her closer. Body sagging and molding against his, Katana reached up and ran her hands through his surprisingly soft hair, relishing the way it slipped out of her fingers smoothly. Tiredly, she allowed her head to fall down on the juncture of his neck and felt the redhead press another kiss on the top of her head.
Inhaling in the scent of sand and lingering cinnamon, Katana swallowed and sighed out in fatigue. "I'm sorry I threw sand at you." She murmured in embarrassment, smiling a little when she heard his amused snort. Their shared moment was cut short by a confused grunt and the couple broke apart, looking up at the man stuck at the top of the pyramid the same time Naruto did.
"I don't get it." The sealed man said, frowning and his eyebrows quirked up. "First, she hugs that dorky kid and they have this happy reunion of sorts and then, she yells at you and you kiss her." He addressed Gaara and stared at him for a little while longer before finally asking, "Whose girl is she really?"
Not far away from them, Naruto laughed sheepishly. "She's just my best friend, old man." He answered with an enthusiastic grin and then turned to the side to wink teasingly at Gaara. "To Gaara, however…"
"I'm his fiancée." Katana answered abruptly with no definite emotion on her voice, curiously eyeing the man atop the triangular structure. "You must be the Second Mizukage."
"Damn, I didn't know I was this famous." The blonde Kage remarked mockingly with a smirk before shifting his attention at Gaara again, this time with a genuine smile. "You're quite the guy, Kazekage-sama. A 'golden duckling' to put it short." He chuckled. "And by the way, you and that crazy girl beside you make an attractive couple. Just sayin'."
"…Thank you." With a flick of his wrist, sand flew at his command and sealed up the resurrected Mizukage completely.
End Chapter
Author's Note: I'm sad to say that this story's coming to an end. A few more chapters and I'll wrap it up.
Oh, and also, for the message Shikamaru sent, Take the first word of each sentence to decode the hidden message. The hidden message is: "It's Gaara. I'm alive. Hope you are too. I had a rather unpleasant meeting with my father but I'm alright. Remember, I love you. Stay safe."
Remember to review! I love you guys! :D