Author's Note: Hey guys! :) I come bearing gifts. XD
I filled this chapter with some GaaraXKatana action. Hope it makes your day. And I hope you rethink about wanting to kill me for not updating for so long. Ahahaha. Anyway, I've been busy. Really busy. I never knew that being a senior in high school could be so troublesome. -.-"
Erm, enough ranting. Ahem.
Enjoy and Review!
Destiny of the Cursed
Chapter 43: Facing fears
The constant flickering of the dim light of the oil lamp that was placed on top of the table was causing Katana's head to spin uncontrollably. Outside, the moon was high out on the otherwise dark sky, looking like an unoccupied spot in the middle of a paper dripping with ink.
The occasional commanding shout erupted from the busy stream of people who traveled back and forth, sounding so soft and muffled compared to the continuous stomping of aching feet and running legs. From behind the heavy flaps of the tent, a different kind of noise was making the girl's ears ring with the intensity of it. Her thoughts were endless, chattering on without a pause, and so, so large in number that the buzzing inside her head just wouldn't stop.
Bloodshot grey eyes stared wearily at the dark ceiling of the tent, the question of how long she had been awake lingering in the back of her mind. She frowned at the darkness clinging around the corners of the makeshift room. The burning fire from the lamp could only reach so much.
Blinking slowly, Katana released a silent breath of fatigue, nimble fingers combing through her hair, lightly massaging her scalp to try and ease the dull pain throbbing from inside her head. She had woken up after minutes of what seemed to be the most restless nap; the chaos outside kept stirring her back into consciousness.
Paranoia was not an uncommon visitor to shinobi, especially right now, given their line of work and the dangers it brought to them—but the girl found herself hating having heightened senses and mind-numbingly quick reflexes for the first time. She found herself jumping at every little thing, whether harmless or otherwise, her sword seemingly always finding its way back onto her grip every few seconds; it was ridiculous, dangling on the edge of being considered pathetic.
Pushing the nagging thought away, she took a deep breath and closed her half-lidded eyes when a particularly cool breeze entered the tent, the girl relishing the comfort brought by the refreshing sensation.
"You're still awake."
Barely seconds after the first word resonated inside the tent, Katana managed to scramble into a defensive position, arms in front with her hands gripping the handle of her sword tightly. Her scowl and glare fell into something less threatening as soon as the familiar red hair entered her eyes.
"Gaara." The brunette croaked out hoarsely, shoulders dropping. "You startled me." Silent frustration hung heavy on her words and the girl wanted nothing more than to scream, to let go and release the things churning inside her until she was drained of energy. Perhaps then, she'd be able to at least sleep more comfortably.
"I didn't mean to." Gaara replied back in a soft tone, eyeing her hand on the weapon with understanding. He knew what it was to feel as if every single thing was after his life, desperate to hurt him—he had spent twelve years living in terror and hatred, after all—and he was in no doubt that everyone in the camp felt the same. It dawned to him that even Katana wasn't an exception.
"I'll try my best not to do it again." Nodding grimly, Katana turned away and flung her sword off to a far corner, not even bothering to see where it landed. Maybe she was better off not knowing where her weapon was all the time.
"Where's Naruto?" She asked, stopping him short of walking away from the entrance.
"Gone." Gaara said with an inaudible sigh, distractedly brushing away the crimson locks that stuck on his forehead. "The one we had with us earlier was merely a clone. We sent him away as to not waste any more of Naruto's chakra." The redhead approached her slowly, his footsteps cautious and soft, kneeling down until they were of eye level.
"I see. I'm glad I had the chance to speak to him before he had to go..." Katana trailed off, meeting the gaze of the shinobi before her. They shared a moment of peace, both faces blank and guarded as they studied each other.
"I take it you received the letter I sent." Gaara broke the silence but kept staring at the girl's face, looking for any emotion present in her expression. He found none, save for the dullness of her tone as she nodded in affirmation and said, "Yes. My captain handed it to me just in time before Shikamaru's squad left. I went with them as soon as I discovered your hidden message." Frowning, Gaara reached for one of her hands and covered it with his, stroking the icy skin soothingly despite the clear disapproval in his voice, "You didn't have to come here."
Katana shrugged easily. "I did anyway."
"Why?"
"I wanted to."
"I thought I indicated in the message that I was alive and well."
"You did." Raising an eyebrow at the hint of defensiveness in the latter's tone, Katana fought down the smirk of amusement tugging at the corners of her mouth despite her exhaustion. "I had to make sure you weren't lying though." She retorted, keeping her tone light-hearted. "You could've been bleeding to death while you wrote that and I would've never known." Grinning to make sure the boy understood that she was merely joking, Katana chuckled weakly and gave his hand a reassuring squeeze but not before adding one last teasing remark. "Don't you think so?"
Tension left the redhead at sight of the girl's tired smile, his grimace dissolving, and Gaara managed a small weary beam in return. He sighed and dropped his head, shaking it slowly. "I would never do that to you. I wouldn't…" He murmured softly, focusing his gaze on their joined hands. "You know that, don't you?" Unwillingly, Katana's grey eyes softened and the teasing grin she wore faded away into something more heartfelt.
"I know." She replied, voice dropping in the same whispering manner as she watched him play with her hand. "I trust you." Her eyes glued themselves down, mesmerized in the way he traced each finger carefully with his thumb, as if he wanted to memorize the feeling of her hand in his. Lifting up his head to glance at her, Gaara dropped her hand gently and straightened up, leaning in to press his lips against her forehead.
Her heart contracted in its own accord at the gesture and Katana trained her stare on the futon between them, moisture seeping in and stinging her tired eyes. Dammit. The brunette clenched her teeth, not expecting the sudden jump of emotions, her eyelids closing tightly, in order to reign in the tears.
Calm down, calm down.
The roughness of his hand on hers, the gentle brush of his lips, the warmth that he radiated, his all-too familiar aquamarine eyes…it was all too much comfort and safety to take in all at once. It felt too good to be true, felt too good that it hurt inside.
You can't go breaking down with every simple comforting touch. You're a shinobi.
She sucked in a deep breath, gathering her self-control silently. "Gaara, I…"
I love you. I miss you. God, I missed you so much.
"I'm tired." She breathed out as she opened her eyes, swallowing to push back the pathetic hiccup threatening to get out. "It's…It's been a long day and the travel we had was exhausting." She ignored the twinge of guilt inside her chest as Katana heard the boy in front release a dejected exhale, his body quivering slightly as he pulled away.
Gaara swallowed hard, his Adam's apple pushing down and then back up at the motion. His jaws were locked, expression seemingly overwhelmed as well. The redhead jerked his head down in a nod, quickly looking away to the side and standing up. "I'll let you rest then." He said, tone tight with restraint and laced with just a hint of disappointment. With another shaky breath, he left her sight and made his way towards his bags.
Dammit, dammit, dammit. Just stop thinking already.
Sighing silently in defeat, Katana settled back down on the futon and forced her eyes close again, trying to ignore the quiet noises the redhead created as he dug through his belongings. Silence enveloped them as Gaara prepared for another restless night, an unspoken agreement shared between the two of them: there will be no further talking tonight. It could be done tomorrow or the next following days, but not right now, not when the wounds were obviously still too fresh to be touched.
Even behind her closed lids, Katana could almost make out what he was doing just from the silent rustling of soft footsteps. The way the scratching sounds echoed from beside her indicated that Gaara had laid down another futon just a few feet away.
The telltale hiss of sand rang in her ears as it flew right above her head to reach out for the oil lamp on the table and the absence of an orange light from beneath her eyelids was enough to make her realize that the boy turned it off completely.
Without the burning lamp to radiate warmth, cold crept up her skin almost immediately and sent tremors down her spine. Shifting in discomfort, Katana blindly groped around for the covers, letting out an exhale of victory when her hands felt the heavy sheets. She threw it over her body, the blanket reaching up to her chin, and curled to one side, desperate for a few winks of sleep.
"Is this alright for you?"
The question came without warning and Katana opened her eyes reluctantly, rolling over to glance at Gaara. In the murky darkness of the room, his aquamarine eyes shone, making it easier to locate the rest of his face. "What do you mean?" Katana asked in return, tone cautious. I thought we'd established that there would be no talking tonight?
She watched the boy's gaze flicker down to the ground between them, searching for a way to phrase his question, before turning back to focus at her. "Us." Gaara said shortly and paused, elaborating with a shift in his tone, "Sharing this tent. Is it alright for you?" The hesitance in his normally strong voice was all she needed to know that it wasn't the question he wanted to ask. Nonetheless, Katana went along with his cover-up, too tired to dig deeper.
"Of course." She frowned briefly and blinked in confusion. "Isn't it alright for you?"
"It is."
"Then what's the big deal?"
Katana could almost see the flash of sadness across the boy's unclear expression in the dark. Aquamarine eyes lowered in uncertainty as Gaara answered, "Nothing." He shook his head, dark strands of hair falling messily against his forehead. He brushed them off once more. "I merely wanted to make sure. Good night." The velvety voice eased the tension away from her body and slowly, Katana mustered a small beam, hoping the redhead could see it despite their pitch black surroundings.
"Good night, Gaara."
The smell of burning flesh and smoke welcomed her sense of smell, Katana's eyes watering terribly as the putrid stench wafted on her face. The brunette gagged and choked for clean air, bile rising to her throat. Gasping desperately, Katana found herself on her knees and her nails dug on the dirt as she tried to catch her breath. Where…am I? She asked herself in alarm, looking up and scanning her surroundings once her lungs stopped feeling as if they were carved out.
Heaps of unidentified garbage surrounded her, the ground littered with broken weapons and used explosives, most areas covered in pools of red. Blinking rapidly to aid her blurry vision, Katana's eyebrows furrowed in realization as she recognized the place she was in.
She was back in the beach, in the area where they disposed the corpses and burned them all together. Her stomach squeezed tightly and somersaulted in disgust, panic entering her system as she pulled herself up into a standing position and desperately staggered away from one of the tall piles.
"There you are, brat."
The snarl from behind her took her aback and Katana whirled around without another pause, eyes widening with shock and rage alike as she fixed her gaze on the undead with the golden mane. "Kinkaku." She choked out, balling her fists.
I'm dreaming. She told herself insistently, hoping that the silent reminder would somehow bring her back to consciousness. This isn't true. It's just another nightmare.
"Again, saying my name without the proper suffix." Kinkaku clucked in mock disappointment, sneering as he approached her. "I'm gonna make you pay for what you did to Ginkaku." No sooner than when he bit the sentence out, the burly undead charged for her and Katana jumped back reflexively, her mind stuck in frenzy. "You're not real." She said stubbornly, shaking her head and hastily rolling away when he sent a wave of flames towards her direction. "We've sealed you. I'm dreaming."
"Just how are you so sure that this isn't real?" Kinkaku snapped back in challenge, running towards her again.
It's just another nightmare.
With a tight grimace, Katana pushed herself on the balls of her feet and jumped back, yelping in shock when her back collided against something hard and cold. She turned her head to look at the obstacle and froze when her wide grey orbs were met by an equally dull-colored pair of eyes, the difference being hers were naturally grey and the eyes that stared at her were long since dead and lifeless and belonged to a mutilated head that poked out of the pile of corpses she bumped against.
Whirling her head back to face forward, cold fear filled the kunoichi's system as she saw the man fast approaching, merely seconds away from getting to where she stood. Instinctively, she reached down for her sword, hastily gripping for the handle but coming in contact with empty space. Glancing down to her hip, her dread only heightened in intensity as she realized that her weapon wasn't with her.
It's not real. It's just another nightmare. She chanted in her head helplessly, repeating it over and over again like a mantra.
"Looks like you're trapped!" Kinkaku cackled with sick glee and took one last leap, slamming into Katana and pushing the cold metal handle of his gigantic fan against her neck. Air rushed out of her the moment she was shoved up hard onto the pile of burnt bodies and everything suddenly felt very real.
It's just another nightmare!
The brunette could feel the hard metal pressing insistently on her throat, cutting off her air supply; she could feel the way torn-up limbs, decapitated bodies and dried blood stuck to her back. Try as hard as she might, Katana knew she was no match against Kinkaku's monstrous arms, her hands aching with effort as she desperately pushed him away, gasping for a much needed breath every five seconds.
"I thought you said this wasn't real?" The blonde man taunted with an ugly sneer, leaning in so close that the girl could smell his rotting breath and it was not, in any way, helping her bring back air to her deprived lungs. With another useless shove, Katana released a strangled gasp and set her eyes on a stubborn glower, grey orbs flashing with rage despite the fear and panic.
"I-It…isn't." She ground out breathlessly, pushing the metal bar away from her neck with every ounce of her energy. The dry chuckle that the undead let out sounded like horrible drumming in her ears.
I'm dreaming. I'm dreaming. I'm dreaming.
It's not real.
It's just another nightmare.
Smirking in a way that bared the rows of sharp teeth he possessed, Kinkaku inched forward again, Katana backing away pathetically in turn. The stench of the dead bodies worsened, if possible, making the brunette regret her earlier action. She fixed her hard glare on the towering man in front, gritting her teeth with her chin up, breathing heavily through her nose.
"Who's gonna save you now, little girl…?" Kinkaku taunted softly with a blood-curdling sneer.
His rumbling whisper echoed inside her ear like a deadly little secret, shattering her courage and shaking her to the very core. It's just another nightmare…Closing her eyes and swallowing hard, Katana shook her head stiffly, holding on to what remained of her guts. "Face it, Katana…" Kinkaku's voice altered into something slightly more familiar as he said her name and Katana felt the man draw back slowly, loosening his hold on her by just a fraction.
"How are you ever going to survive without me…Kat-chan?"
Freezing at the nickname, grey eyes snapped wide open and the kunoichi stiffened in her position like a rock, the metal handle pressing on her throat suddenly feeling ten times as icy and as life-threatening. "T-Tou-san." She choked out and stared as chills ran down her back, at what was previously Kinkaku—was now the exact replica of Kakashi's face, only darker, more malicious. "I wonder if you'll ever stop being a pathetic excuse of a shinobi…" Kakashi's voice drawled out with a humorless chuckle, his single dark eye glinting dangerously.
Without warning, his face gurgled like boiling water and it shifted into a tanner face, Kakashi's narrow jaw becoming broader and losing the mask. The silver hair turned into yellowish white strands of hair and this time, it was Darui who faced her. The only thing that didn't change was the cold look of hatred in his gaze and the haunting tone that seemed to pierce her soul every time the person spoke.
"You shouldn't have gone to war, Katana-sama." The older shinobi spat, face wrinkling with distaste as he drove the girl down on the pile further in the same way Kakashi did. "Always being protected…always being looked after. Don't you know how many people died because of you?" The face morphed once more and Katana released a pained gasp as the handle dug into her throat, her vision turning blurry.
Squirming under the heavy load, the girl wheezed for air and she could barely make out Samui's enraged expression in front of her. "Already too many, that's for sure." The blonde woman hissed out and her face changed again, the straight blonde hair turning a shade lighter and an inch shorter, the soft edges of her face becoming hard.
With half-opened eyes, Katana stared in horror as the ever-changing illusion took the form of Atsui, whose wide smile was anything but friendly. "One of them being me." Atsui shoved the handle harder than ever and the brunette struggled with the iron hold, gasping and choking, clammy hands clenching on the handle.
"You were the one who was too weak to handle the fight. You were the one who needed to be protected. You should've died on that battle, not me."
The cold was seeping into her skin greedily and darkness crept to the corners of her vision. Fear clung on her system as her mind faintly registered the idea of death, numbness spreading around her chest.
The illusion that looked like Atsui grinned manically, the crazed expression of pure delight radiating off his face as he leaned again to whisper in her ear.
"So this time around…I'll make sure you'll die, Katana-sama."
Orange exploded in Katana's sight as the girl bolted straight up from where she laid on her bed, chest heaving rapidly as her breathing struggled to even out. Instantly, a sharp pain erupted from the back of her head, right where she had collided with the boulder, and her vision watered, everything around her turning murky for a moment.
Unclenching her jaw with much effort, the metallic taste of blood entered her dry mouth and Katana swallowed, hysterical gasps for much needed air following the action. The brunette's eyelids fluttered unsteadily as she caught up with her breath and she looked around frantically, desperate to decipher her surroundings as soon as her eyesight cleared was back in the tent, sitting up on her futon with the sheets bunched up around her waist.
I'm alive…Alive. It wasn't real…
Shaky knuckles, clenched tightly around the fabric of her sheets, were readily turning white as the brunette forced a choked breath out of her throat, a sheen layer of cold sweat covering her face. "It's just…another nightmare." She breathed out the empty words, closing her eyes tiredly and reluctantly letting go of her grip on the covers. Behind her closed lids, pieces of the dream returned to her mind again: the dried blood sprinkled on the dirt, the smoke and the acrid stench of rotting flesh, the cold bloodlust on the faces of the people she loved haunting her: Tou-san…Darui-sempai...Samui-san and—
"Oh god, Atsui-san." The brunette choked out, forcing back a dry sob that threatened to rip out of her already aching throat. She remembered his harsh words, bitter but true and laced with a hint of accusation.
"You were the one who was too weak to handle the fight. You were the one who needed to be protected. You should've died on that battle, not me."
The statement rang inside her ears, mocking her, repeating in her head deafeningly loud despite sounding like a deadly whisper at the same time. Even when she knew that the boisterous boy would never say anything even remotely unforgiving, the impact of the words still dug deep, piercing the weak crack in her armor and creating an even bigger chink.
It hurt because the nightmare felt disturbingly real.
It hurt because deep down, Katana knew that it was her subconscious speaking to her.
It hurt because it was agonizingly, undeniably damn true.
No. No, don't think like that. Shaking her head, the girl inhaled sharply and released it as a quivering sigh, erasing the overwhelming thoughts from her throbbing head.
Remember what Darui-sempai said. Some things were bound to happen, even when we try to control the situation at hand. Atsui-san would never blame me. He'd never say that. He was well aware of what was at stake when he fought against Ginkaku.
Swallowing again, Katana ran a hand through her hair, the slight pressure on her scalp easing the pain of her headache away. You yourself were aware of the risks of it too…
Silence enveloped her as the unwanted images slowly began to fade away from her mind, the girl focusing instead on the comforting halo of light from the burning oil lamp atop the table near her as she breathed in and out, in and out, clean, crisp air entering her lungs. No smoke…no rotting flesh… She added mentally as an afterthought, a stuttering exhale pushing past her lips. Distractedly, she lowered the hand pressing on her head, fingers gently tracing the broken skin of her lower lip from where she had bitten it too hard during her sleep.
"Katana?"
Wearily opening her eyes, the girl stared blankly at the standing figure of the redhead on the doorway, exhaustion clogging up her mind and making it harder to form coherent thoughts. Finally, Katana settled for a forced smile, wincing once her mouth stretched and pulled on the offended part of her lip, thick red liquid appearing out of the dried wound. "You're up." She remarked with a pained grimace and swiped her thumb at her split lip, glaring down at smear of blood. "Did something happen? Was it an emergency?"
The distinct scraping of quiet footsteps against the ground rang in her ears and though the girl kept prodding at the injury on her mouth, her brain registered the warmth radiating from the boy that dropped beside her. "No. Nothing's wrong." Gaara reassured quietly, his gaze trained on the brunette as she fussed over her bloody lip. With an inaudible sigh, he reached out and grasped her wrist, tugging it away with surprising gentleness. "Stop that. You're making it worse."
Frowning reluctantly, Katana let her hand be pulled away, her arm falling back to her side. "No emergency meetings? No attacks?" She asked, eyebrows furrowing in confusion and worry. Katana paused, her grimace deepening as she fixed the boy a stern glare and added, "Are you sure nothing happened?" Beside her, Gaara met her narrowed eyes calmly, unfazed, and nodded once. Dark-ringed orbs closed for a quick moment as the redhead drew his knees up and pulled them close to his body. "Everything's fine, Katana."
"Why are you awake then?"
Pressing his lips in a thin line, Gaara gave an indifferent shrug, expression turning tight at the question. "I couldn't sleep." He answered simply with an underlying hint of defeat in his tone. Sighing again, the young lad raised a hand to thread through the thick mass of his crimson hair, unruly locks splaying over his forehead, just barely showing the 'ai' kanji that was carved on his skin. Grey eyes softened in sympathy and concern as the brunette slowly understood his situation, the light radiated by the lamp from behind them finally allowing her to see the subtle changes in the boy that she had missed beforehand.
Though his stoic expression reflected control and endless composure, the shadows around his sunken orbs were thicker, darker, his normally smooth voice gaining a gravelly quality from overuse and exhaustion alike. His form was stiff yet slouching at the same time, muscles tight with distress and shoulders heavy with tension. The chakra present in the atmosphere around him was thick and suffocating, frenzied with anxiety. Of course…the combined stress of war and his position must've taken quite a toll on him too. So it wasn't just me, after all.
Lips curling up in a careful, wry beam, Katana allowed a snort of amusement to escape her. Is it wrong that I'm oddly relieved by that fact? When the latter glanced at her questioningly, she merely stared back, eyes sympathetic and soft. "Want to let me in on your thoughts?" She offered silently, arms going around her knees and hugging them close as she imitated his position. Surprise flickered through Gaara's aquamarine orbs as they widened slightly, hesitation clear in the redhead's face as he averted his eyes down to the floor.
"We don't have to—"
"It's okay." Katana interrupted before the boy could continue further with his protest and she sighed heavily, her smile fading away. "You can drop the mask, Gaara. I know you're tired of keeping your thoughts to yourself, too." She whispered in a meaningful tone, voice reflecting the rare vulnerability that was reserved for her friends, her father and for the redhead himself only.
"You don't have to pretend anymore. Not with me…" Looking at him pointedly, she watched as the boy's guarded expression gradually melted into one of weariness and distress, his eyes closing as he sighed.
"In the letter I sent you", Gaara began in a resigned tone after a while, aquamarine orbs fluttering open halfway, "I told you that I had a brief encounter with my late father...do you remember that?" Nodding gingerly, Katana pursed her lips in a frown as she noticed the melancholy dancing in his gaze.
"Yeah. I remember that part." She answered encouragingly, shifting in her seat and inching closer until their shoulders bumped against each other.
At the contact, some of the tension left Gaara and he sent her an appreciative look, his hand stretching out and grasping hers gratefully. "I was with Tsuchikage-sama when we discovered, using my Third Eye technique, that the deceased Kages were heading towards our way. I realized that my father was one of them; his chakra was something I could never forget."
The end of his sentence was punctuated with a tinge of discomfort, the boy no doubt in pain as he dug up the old bitter memories he had locked away for so long. "I didn't want to confront him but our fight was inevitable, since my sand was the only thing that could possibly match the strength and speed of his gold dust. He was quite taken aback when he discovered that I was no longer a jinchuuriki. Even more so, when he learned that I'd made friends over the years and became Kazekage. But even then…" Gaara trailed off lowly, his face darkening and an agonized pinch between his eyes appearing, "even when he'd heard of my achievements, Father refused to believe that I was anything but a failure. He told me he'd judge my worth himself and so we fought…"
A sudden twinge of pain set itself off inside Katana's chest and the brunette took a sharp intake of breath, the redhead's description of his father reminding her so much of how her own real dad had been when she was younger. Forcing down the lump in her throat and shoving the thought away, Katana moved the hand in his grip and turned her palm facing up, interlacing their fingers together to remind him of her presence.
"I did everything I could to defeat him. I wanted to prove him wrong. In the course of our battle, I had them trapped inside my sand, even Father, but one of his arms escaped my hold and he sent a wave of his gold dust towards me."
"I didn't recall summoning it but suddenly my sand was there in my defense and the strangest thing happened." Aquamarine eyes flickered to the girl's sober expression and the boy inhaled slowly, his gaze dropping to their joined hands. "My ultimate defense took the shape of a woman. More specifically, it took the shape of my mother. When Father saw it, he broke down. He acknowledged that I had grown, that I had improved. And he confessed to me that…", A hard swallow made him pause, his Adam's apple rising up and back down at the motion, and he breathed in again, sharp and shallow.
Worriedly, Katana glanced up at him and her breath hitched, her heart breaking and squeezing painfully at the clear anguish and dark sorrow that the boy's face held, his eyes—normally piercing and emotionless—were struggling to stay open, unshed tears making the sea foam orbs glisten inside the dimly lighted tent.
"…th-that what Yashamaru's actions were done against his will. My uncle attempted to kill me under his orders. Father was trying to assess my control over Shukaku for one last time before he decided what he would do with me. H-He… told me that my uncle didn't hate me…and neither did my mother. He said it was a mistake…He said he was sorry."
At this, a quivering sigh escaped the redhead's parted mouth and Gaara closed his eyes and hung his head down, feebly fighting back the tears threatening to fall out.
"All this time…all this time, I-I've blamed my actions to what Yashamaru did…A-All this time, I've u-used what they had said…about my mother cursing me, hating me…to validate all that I've done wrong." Gaara's free hand balled into a trembling fist on his knee and he gripped the cloth of his pants pathetically as he struggled to continue. "Now that the truth is out, all that I've done suddenly seems so much more horrible. All those people I've killed…I hurt them, I took their lives and for what?"
His voice broke at the end of his statement and it dropped down to a low whisper once he spoke again but it was still heavy with regret and agony, still laced with the same harsh shame, perhaps even more so now that he was merely murmuring, forcing the painful words out of his mouth. "I've done so many mistakes, ruined so many lives because I succumbed to my pain and chose to believe what they said, just so I could ease the hurt inside me…I've got only myself to blame for it."
Clenching her teeth tight in the same was her chest was contracting in its own accord, Katana mustered up a shaky breath and gently pried her hand out of his. The girl straightened up and grabbed the overwhelmed redhead, whirling him around until his body was turned towards her. "Gaara." She said after a minute of stunned silence, almost choking on getting the word out.
With tenderness she wasn't aware she possessed, Katana lifted his face up with her two hands, her eyes stinging with suppressed tears at the sight of thin, delicate tear tracks painted on the both sides of the boy's face. Dark-ringed orbs were still shut tight, the redhead's jaw tense and the rest of his body shaking as he fought to stay in control. "Hey, come on. Look at me." At the hushed command, aquamarine eyes half-heartedly fluttered open, looking so dull and crestfallen that it took all of the girl's willpower not to cry on the spot.
Stroking the pale skin softly with her fingers barely exerting pressure against the flesh, Katana wound her arms around his neck and pulled, cradling him closer. "It's okay." She whispered hoarsely, forcing to keep her voice from wavering even when her eyes stung. Swallowing thickly, she blinked back the tears and rested her hand on his back, rubbing calming circles through the fabric of his shirt.
"It's okay…Just let go, Gaara. Just let go." Inside her hold, Gaara trembled and released a broken whimper as he wrapped his arms around her waist and surged forward, their combined weights causing them to topple over and fall back against the futon.
The heart-wrenching sobs wracked the redhead's body as he burrowed his head in the juncture of Katana's neck, his hands clutching fistfuls of brunette's sweater, the boy all but clinging to her helplessly like a lost child. "I-I'm s-sorry, I'm s-sorry…" His muffled whisper sounded so heartbroken, so naïve and frightened; sounded so different from the stoic Sabaku no Gaara that everyone knew.
"S-Shh. It's okay. I'm h-here…I'm here, Gaara. You're okay." Katana murmured in reassurance as she closed her eyes, letting her own tears fall silently, her insecurities and misery washed away along with the crystalline drops that trickled down from the corners of her eyes. As the words exchanged between them vanished, silence enveloped the dark room and for the first time that night, both of them drew comfort in the shadows, the dancing flame of the oil lamp dying out completely after a strong gust of wind entered the tent.
Cold darkness surrounded them but neither one felt the unfriendly chilliness inside the room, pressed-up bodies and intertwined limbs providing enough heat for both of them. The redhead's heavy breaths were warm against Katana's neck as Gaara slowly regained his composure, his back rising up and down in a calm pace.
Absentmindedly, Katana reached a hand up while the other rested on the boy's back, the traveling hand threading through the thick locks of crimson. Opening her eyes slowly, she fixed her gaze on the roof of the tent, distractedly combing the soft hair underneath her fingers as she focused on evening out her breath.
"The mistakes you spoke about, the things you did…those happened so long ago, Gaara." She whispered softly, finally voicing out her thoughts for the first time after the boy broke down. Eyebrows furrowed and Katana grimaced slightly, her hand pausing its ministrations as she said, "You've changed a lot since then. You're not that person anymore…"
Above her, Gaara exhaled raggedly and lifted his head up, the regret and hesitation in his eyes completely clear as he looked up at her. Dry tear tracks painted on the sides of his face caught Katana's attention and she brushed them carefully with gentle fingers, averting her eyes for a quick moment in favor of looking into Gaara's aquamarine ones.
"I know." He answered lowly, closing his eyes, "I know. I just wish I could've done something to change it. I wish things didn't have to be that way." Ruefully peering down on her face, Gaara set his mouth in a grim line. "Remembering what I did in the past made me question…everything that I have gained right now. I feel as if I didn't deserve this—"
"Don't. Don't say that." Katana cut off hastily and pressed a finger against his lips, looking pained as she continued, "We all wish we could've changed something in the past. But that's not the way it works…If it is as you say, then I don't deserve what I have right now any more than you do." She met his half-lidded eyes, piercing grey staring deep down into soft aquamarine. "Out of everyone else, you deserve this the most. You overcame everything, Gaara. Despite your past, despite the hurt and the pain, despite what they all thought of you, you managed to prove them wrong."
Brushing her knuckles on his smooth jaw, Katana gave him a brave smile and brought their foreheads together, "And no matter how hard the past might seem, I wouldn't want to change anything. Know why? Because even after all that we've been through…we got each other out of it." Blinking rapidly, the redhead swallowed and stared back at her, his eyes moist once again.
"I love you so much…" He murmured breathlessly, gratitude and adoration clear in every word as he leaned in, pressing his lips against hers. "I love you…I love you…" He said in between kisses and captured Katana's mouth in a searing kiss one last time before breaking away, replenishing his lungs with precious air. "Thank you. For everything…How did I end up being so fortunate?"
"I ask myself that every time."
Smiling faintly at girl's reply, Gaara sighed quietly and nudged her cheek with his in a gentle manner, letting a few minutes of peacefulness to sink in before he made a move to get away. Instantly, Katana's grip on his shoulders tightened and the girl sent him stubborn look, her gaze meeting his puzzled expression. "Katana?" The boy paused in his tracks, his mouth turning down to a bewildered frown. "What are you—?"
"Don't go."
Hearing the brunette's pleading tone, Gaara's eyes softened as he sighed again. "You need to sleep."
"And I will. But don't go."
"Where…Where will I sleep?"
Shrugging lightly, Katana gave him a lopsided smile. "You seem pretty comfortable here." She answered in a nonchalant manner, looking at him expectantly. "Stay with me?" At her suggestion, the boy's eyes widened in surprise and the tips of Gaara's ears turned pink as he looked away in embarrassment.
"Here…with you?" He asked hoarsely, mouth suddenly gone dry as the blush descended down to his face. Raising her eyebrows at the latter's reaction, Katana looked at him in confusion. "Yeah, that's…what I said. Why? Is something wrong?"
"Don't you think it's a little…inappropriate for us to share a bed?"
"Oh." Realizing what the redhead meant, Katana chuckled shortly, both at his expression and his worries. "It's not like we're going to do anything." She snorted, grinning widely when Gaara blushed heatedly once more at her answer. Feeling a pang of sympathy, the girl spared him of further awkwardness and ignored the redness in his face that indicated exactly what he was thinking. "I just want you beside me." She explained silently, losing her amusement. "The past few days have been…eventful. Right now, I just want to be Katana again, not a shinobi, not a soldier, not anything else, even if it's just for this night."
Nodding slowly in understanding, Gaara brought his forehead down on hers and released a silent breath. "Okay." He said, beaming comfortingly, "I won't go." His response earned him a grateful smile and Katana closed her eyes in contentment, her arms relaxing around him. "Good."
Pausing for a quick second, Katana frowned thoughtfully and opened her eyes once more, looking down at their position. "On second thought, maybe not right here—on top of me—here. Why don't you settle down beside me instead? To anyone else who'd see us, the position we're in right now is just downright compromi—"
"Stop. I get it, stop. Stop."
At the mortified plea and the violent blush that the redhead sported, Katana's laughter erupted inside the tent just before everything else faded into silence in the hours of darkness.
"Hello?"
Drip, drip, drip…
The sound of trickling water bounced against cold, damp walls, echoing all over the murky darkness. The scent of musk was as heady as it had been in her previous visits and the chills ran down the girl's spine. Despite the familiar feeling of the place, it never ceased to give her goose bumps, the tremendous energy present inside the cave-like dome striking an initial sense of fear and agitation to anyone.
Drip, drip, drip…
"Hey, are you there?" Katana opened her eyes as wide as they would go, yet the same pitch blackness welcomed her sight. The only response she received was a deafening, eerie silence, along with the constant 'drip-drip-drip' of falling crystal droplets. With a resigned exhale, Katana dropped down to a sitting position on the cold, though thankfully dry ground where she previously stood. "Okay, I understand. I'll wait right here. You can, uh, come out whenever you're ready."
No sooner than when she said those words, the air in front of her wavered and turned solid, a mirage that looked like her exact replica—with the exception of hollow obsidian eyes—appeared before her. Scrambling up to her feet again, Katana stared at her twin with an expectant look, a spark of curiosity obvious in her grey eyes. "Alright. Why am I h—"
"You need to go."
Stopping in midsentence, Katana closed her open mouth and took a moment before she registered what the latter said. Blinking twice and furrowing her eyebrows, Katana grimaced in faint annoyance. "That doesn't make any sense. I didn't go here on my own, remember? You took me here."
"That's not what I meant, brat." The chakra demon snapped in her usual impatient and resentful tone but whatever Katana was planning to retort died inside her throat the moment she saw a quick flash of something different in the glowering eyes of her carbon copy. There was also a dangerous shift in her voice that made the brunette hesitate, dread creeping inside her system. "I'm giving you a warning. You need to wake up, immediately, and once you do, get away. Run. Far, far away from here."
Katana's heart skipped a beat at the anxious edge in the latter's statement and she nodded obediently, releasing a shaky sigh. "Okay, I hear you…but can I ask why? This is all so sudden and I'm not sure I understand. Can you try explaining from the—?"
"There's no time, Katana." The copy said hastily, not allowing the brunette to finish once more. "All I can tell you is that danger is heading your way and you cannot defeat it. Even I cannot." Deep worry flashed through her coal black eyes, her normally unforgiving gaze turning into fearful, and Katana shuddered instinctively. Her spiteful tone was no more, reduced to a mess of unease and alarm. "You have to get away from here."
A sudden crack that resonated inside the cave made Katana jerk her head back and she stared at the jagged lines etching themselves slowly on the walls of the dark place, the sturdy cavern crumbling into dust and rocks, falling into the awaiting pit below and closing in on the two of them. Turning her attention back to her twin, Katana could only stare at her with confused apprehension as the carbon copy started to waver as well, an illusion ready to evaporate into the thin air.
"W-Wait."
"Go. Wake up and go."
"Wait, please! Please, just give me a chance to—"
"I'm sorry." Giving her one last begging glower that seemed desperate more than anything, the girl with the ebony orbs opened her mouth. "Run…"
"RUN….!"
Grey eyes snapped open in panic and blinked rapidly for several times, forcing away the blurriness and traces of sleep, before it dawned to the girl that she was staring aimlessly at the ceiling tent. Immediately, Katana released a stuttering sigh, the cold sweat that clung to her face making her shudder.
Another…nightmare? She asked herself incredulously, breath coming out in slow pants as she gathered her scattered thoughts and frazzled nerves. Her twin's words replayed inside her mind, repeating over and over much like how it echoed inside the cave they were in. Yet, despite the constant repetition, her statement was just as baffling as it was the first time around. Shaking her head wearily and sighing, Katana looked around.
Both hers and Gaara's packs were huddled in the corner where they had dumped them carelessly, all weapons and protective gears—with the exception of her sword, which was thrown haphazardly to the far right, opposite of their belongings—piled all together. Peaceful silence was all there was inside the room, no signs of any evident danger present and nothing was out of place.
Perhaps it was nothing after all. I must've been making it all up inside my head…
It was still dark inside the tent and yet the bleary light that shyly peeked in from behind the doorway and the unusual warmth around her body told the brunette otherwise. Must be somewhere around dawn—
A hushed grunt sounded from beside her, cutting off her thoughts, and before the girl had the chance to turn to the direction of the noise, a pair of arms that she had disregarded before latched onto her waist and pulled her closer to the warmth she felt. Managing to bite back a surprised squeak, Katana tentatively peered up at the sleeping redhead, whose face was buried against the top of her head. Oh. With a lopsided smile, the brunette relaxed inside his embrace as her earlier worries were temporarily forgotten, relishing the comforting feeling of warmth and safety that the boy gave off despite having her trapped in his arms.
Wistfully beaming, Katana hesitated for a moment before she drew back slightly, catching the peaceful expression of boy and feeling air rush out of her as she stared at the breathtaking sight. Gaara's features were soft, pale and smooth—angelic, in a way, as he seemed deceivingly harmless—yet unfairly, dangerously handsome at the same time.
Mesmerized, the girl moved a hand up, her nimble fingers lovingly brushing aside the soft crimson bangs that concealed the red tattoo underneath. The 'ai' kanji came out into view and with careful, gentle touches as not to wake the sleeping boy, Katana caressed the old wound, silently remembering the bitter promise that used to go with it, and the brunette's lips fell into a tight line.
Beneath the emotionless masks, behind the cold front he puts up to bar anyone from coming close…he's simply beautiful. Scarred maybe and possibly broken, but beautiful nonetheless…
Shifting nearer and eliminating the distance between them, Katana closed her eyes and brushed her lips over the kanji, pressing a faint kiss against it. How could anyone want to hurt such a person…? Her mind went back to what she said to him last night, her words sounding as clear as day. Even after all that we've been through…we got each other out of it.
Drawing back, she smiled again and settled back down inside his arms. Just as she was about to close her eyes, fully intending to go back to sleep, there was an unexpected shift in the air, sharp and unsympathetic. In her place, Katana froze, eyes widening and muscles tensing reflexively.
What the hell?
Abruptly sitting up, she pushed the covers away from her body and without warning, the icy sensation washed through her once more. Katana stiffened beyond understanding and halted her breathing at once, back rigid and throat rebelliously closing against her will. Thick, heavy tension hung in the atmosphere inside the room and it took a few moments of blindly grasping at straws before Katana could put a finger on the foreign and treacherous buzz in the air. Grey eyes narrowed and the girl clenched her teeth in a mixture of dread and distress.
Is this…chakra?
"Katana…?" Beside her, Gaara stirred groggily and the redhead shook himself free of slumber before sitting up with the girl, concern evident in his eyes and voice. "Katana, what's wrong? What happene—"
"Shh." Holding up a hand in front, the kunoichi hastily silenced the young lad and she waited, letting a few uncomfortable minutes of quietness to pass by before she spoke, her voice low and rushed. "Focus." She told Gaara in a whisper, eyes darting around the tent in alarm. "Do you feel that?" No sooner than when she asked him, the hostile sensation came again, twice as intense and as threatening, and the movements of the two shinobi stopped dead, breaths turning shallow and erratic.
The chakra in air was cold, cruel and disturbingly lifeless, darkly whispering a promise of death and agony. And just when they were about to suffocate with the frightening amount of energy present, the chakra went away but not without a dreadful assurance that it was bound to come back.
Releasing a choked up breath, Katana's eyes flickered towards the boy's aquamarine orbs, the two sharing a brief, knowing glance. Quickly averting his stare, Gaara's expression grew guarded and he stood up in a fluid motion, the stoic mask back in place as he withdrew from the girl and went to his pack. "Get dressed." He said monotonously, his voice stable and calm despite the underlying agitation and worry he felt.
Nodding sharply the minute she recovered from her stupor, Katana stood to her feet and zipped the tent close, snatching her own belongings and trudging to the opposite side of the tent as they both put on their vests and armed themselves. The moment they stepped out of the room, they were back to being general and soldier, minds blank and hearts hollow.
"Let's go."
"Hai, Kazekage-sama."
"What happened?" Gaara inquired evenly as soon as he was close enough to ask, his expression the epitome of composed as he took in the large crowd that had gathered beforehand in front of a high, towering cliff. He stopped beside the Tsuchikage and surprisingly, Naruto, who explained that he'd gotten here as soon as he felt the ominously strong chakra. A few meters behind him, Katana slowed her pace and changed course, heading for the familiar form of Temari instead.
On top of the cliff, two men stood beside each other, one covered in bandages from head to toe, and the other one standing beside the bandaged man with grace and an aura of pride. Long, dark hair trailed behind him and the man was clad in red armor, looking every bit as frightening and powerful as his chakra in the air suggested. Staring at him, Katana suppressed a shudder, certain that the terrible chakra belonged to him. "Who's that man?" She asked Temari in a hushed voice, paying no attention to the heated conversations happening up front.
With a grimace, the blonde woman released a silent sigh, her eyes never leaving the said man as she answered, "Uchiha Madara." Hearing the reply of the older girl, grey eyes narrowed in confusion and disbelief alike. "T-That's…not possible." Katana whispered stubbornly, glancing at Temari. "Tobi from Akatsuki said he was Uchiha Madara. I would know; he declared war against the villages during the Kage Summit. This chakra isn't anything like his."
"Tobi isn't Madara."
"What?"
"We've been tricked." Glancing at her quickly, Temari snapped her gaze back up at the man atop the cliff. "HQ told us that the masked man is heading towards the real Naruto. The Uchiha Madara before us is the real one…and he's been revived by Edo Tensei." Clenching her teeth at the information, Katana drew her sword out swiftly, body tense and waiting for the impending battle. "Any idea who the hell 'Tobi' is, then?"
"No. None…HQ didn't find out—"
"Fall back!"
At the alarmed warning, Katana snapped her head up and jumped away just in time before flames consumed her, her heart racing inside her chest as a rush of adrenaline ran through her body. Letting out a heavy huff, Katana stood up from where she landed on the ground in a crouch and felt energy slam into her system without warning, chakra coursing through her veins like lightning. She gasped, grey eyes turning into a void of black and speckled gold, and winced at the telltale pang of pain inside her head.
"Foolish girl! I told you to run away, not run towards danger!"
I think it's a little too late for you to scold me. Katana replied back with suppressed irritation, eyeing the battle carefully and watching as Naruto pummeled the ancient Uchiha with a gigantic ball of spinning energy. Now shut up and help me if you don't want to die.
Smoke and dust exploded all over the battlefield as Uchiha Madara stood back up on his feet, a humanoid creature radiating off coldness and energy enclosing him inside while he glared red and black. "That's Susanoo!" Katana yelled in alarm, running towards the direction of the undead and shoving away the clueless shinobi that stood on the front lines. Seeing the man's arms outstretched, the brunette gritted her teeth and fell on her knees, slamming her free hand down on the ground. "Everyone get away!"
Dark-colored flames erupted in a protective circle around Madara as he flicked his wrists, the cold, blackish violet inferno of Amaterasu colliding and roaring uselessly over hers. Finally, a use for this damn shield. Katana thought grudgingly, remembering her failed attempt of defeating Kinkaku with it.
"Don't go near any of the two flames!" She warned them as she jumped back, body ablaze and chest heaving, and the girl sheathed her sword, hands joining together as she readied for the next attack, "Amaterasu is inextinguishable and it'll burn you alive! Mine would suck your chakra dry!"
"Brat, you need to realize that because of your little stunt…Uchiha Madara is glaring at our way right now!"
Hissing in pain when the voice inside her head screamed, it took some time before the girl's brain registered what the latter had said. Eyes nervously flickering up at Susanoo, Katana realized with a start that the creature's raised arm was descending quickly, remaining just a few meters short of crashing down on her.
"Run, you fool, run!"
Uttering profanities under her breath, Katana leapt away and dove to her right, barely escaping the closed fist that hit the ground. Hastily staggering back up, the brunette swallowed hard and turned on her heel, dashing away as the hand picked up from where it embedded itself on the rocks and swerved sideways, swatting at Katana like one would swat a bothersome fly.
Shit, shit, shit! Roughly dodging to one side, Katana wove her hands together as she quickly went through seals and brought both her hands flat on the dirt, "Kuroi Kago!" Rows of sturdy black bars sprung up from the ground below, impaling the humongous hand of the Uchiha's shield as it once again dropped down.
Even from afar, Katana could see the faint frown of displeasure forming on Madara's face and the cold glower he sent in her direction was enough to make the fine hairs on her limbs stand.
"Stop provoking him!"
How exactly do you suggest I do that? Katana snapped back mentally, panic surging in her system as the hand easily broke away from its restriction, breaking the metal bars effortlessly as if they were simply toothpicks. Without wasting another minute, it swung again to where the girl was and Katana dove away just in time before it could hit her.
Dammit!
Clicking her tongue hard against her rows of teeth, the brunette racked her brain for ideas as she dashed away once more, trying to put distance between them but running was proving to be futile.
Clenching her teeth as she made a sharp turn and rolled to her side to avoid getting squashed like a bug, Katana whirled to face the gigantic humanoid and narrowed her eyes, mind made up as she drew her weapon out of its sheath and charged towards Susanoo.
If it's me that Madara wants, then it's me he'll get. Glowering at the base of the towering creature where Uchiha Madara awaited for her attack, Katana took a deep breath and released it along with her fear and internal panic, focusing on avoiding the hand that kept on trying to pummel her to the ground.
This is it. She warned the voice inside her head and the girl steeled her own frantic nerves and racing heart as the sight of an unfazed Madara entered her view. I don't know whether I'll survive or not. But whatever happens, I refuse to die so easily.
For the first time that day, Katana suddenly felt extremely grateful for the internal conversation; if she had to say the words aloud in order to communicate, she wouldn't have been able to talk so courageously, let alone be able to form complete words with the cold terror grasping and clawing at her beating heart.
"Nothing but death awaits you now! I WARNED YOU, GIRL!"
Barely meters away from her, Uchiha Madara stood tall and proud and calm, his icy gaze fixed on her running form as he anticipated her incoming blow with his arms crossed. It was enough to make anyone choke on whatever they had to say. Susanoo's hand had finally stopped its relentless chase of her. Now, what awaited her at the very end was much, much worse in comparison to the creature's flaming fist.
Lend me the power that you pride yourself on. She pleaded silently as she closed in another meter towards the inevitable danger. Give me everything you've got. If you save me, then you save yourself. Come on—
"KATANA-CHAN!"
The hysterical scream took her out of her reverie; in a moment of weakness, she succumbed to the temptation and glanced to the side, instantly regretting the decision right after her black and gold gaze met aquamarine, wide and full of fright in his pained expression as the redheaded commander watched her approach the ancient shinobi. Beside him, Naruto stared at her with the same incredulity and agitation plastered on his face but Gaara gathered his composure faster than Naruto ever could and pulled the blonde back when he made a move to run.
"Katana-chan, DON'T DO IT!"
Her best friend's desperate protest echoed throughout the battlefield just when it was already too late; gritting her teeth together in order to suppress her agony, Katana momentarily closed her eyes and ran faster with her fingers coiled tightly around the sword, feeling a burst of energy course through her veins, filling her completely until the familiar burning sensation of chakra could be felt all over.
Her skin turned ashen, lifeless and as black as nightmare, cracking as golden patterns crawled down her limbs and up her face, scarring her all over until she no longer looked recognizable or human. Sleek black flames engulfed her form and Katana snapped her eyes open, glaring gold and obsidian at the tranquil figure of Uchiha Madara. I'm sorry, Gaara, Naruto… With a sharp intake of breath, Katana leapt and welcomed the hostile flames of freezing darkness.
"KATANA!"
It was Gaara's heart-stopping yell that echoed all over the battlefield.
End Chapter