When my mother's name rolls off my tongue, it catches the attention of the entire table I'm sitting in front of. Tobias, who is standing much like a statue directly behind me finally comes back to life and puts his hands gently on my shoulders. First, I take in the appearance of my maybe aunt. She's a slight, middle-aged woman with shoulder length wavy blonde hair with darker brown highlights complementing her pretty face, which is absent the normal Dauntless piercings. Her right arm, however, is covered with an extensive tattoo made up of intertwined smaller ones. Callen looks exactly like his father with the exception of having his mother's dark chocolate-colored eyes. He appears to be very close to my age, but I'm not the best at gauging how old someone is based on a glance. He too is missing the usual piercings and added hair colors I've come to expect in my Dauntless brothers and sisters. Then I look back into the familiar eyes of my maybe uncle and my heart constricts. His eyes remind me so of my mother's, and I miss her that much more today.
"That's not possible," Nathan Wright says, staring at me, his mouth slightly agape. "My sister fell in love with an Erudite boy, and they both joined another faction. I haven't seen her in over 18 years." I can't imagine not seeing Caleb for over 18 years. A lot of things he did while we were growing up like censuring me all the time for not being selfless enough aggravated me, but I still love him.
"Erudite boy?" I question. I can't believe my dad could have come from any other faction than Abnegation so this may be just a huge coincidence. I try not to let my imagination run away with me. "Do you remember his name, the Erudite boy?"
"I only heard her speak it once almost 20 years ago, when we were still attending school. Adam, Allen?" he says. I close my eyes and inhale deeply.
"Andrew?" I quietly ask as I open my eyes, meeting his gawking gaze once again.
"Yes ...," he nods. "Andrew." We just stare at one another, and I feel Dru and Callen's eyes on me as well.
"My parents' names are Andrew and Natalie Prior. I have a brother, Caleb, who just transferred to Erudite, and I transferred here, to Dauntless, from Abnegation. Did your sister join Abnegation?" I ask realizing I just found family I didn't know I had. He slowly nods to confirm the picture that's been forming in my mind, my mom has a brother. I have an uncle, an aunt, and a cousin! I hear footsteps behind me and look up to see Will and Christina join us.
"Tris, I have some business to attend to. Are you going to be alright?" Tobias asks, gently squeezing my shoulders before letting go.
"I'm fine, Four. Christina will stay with me, won't you?" I ask, shock still clear on my face.
"Sure, Tris. What's going on?" she asks, looking from one dazed face to another.
"It's actually quite amazing. Tris found family in Dauntless she didn't know she had." Tobias looks Nathan over and says, "I must say, you do resemble Tris' mother. I met her once on visitation day." He turns to me and kisses the top of my head. "I'm sorry but I've really got to go. I'll meet you in the Pit as soon as I can. Please, don't go too far." I smile at him and wave goodbye. I turn back to the table in front of me.
"Christina, this is Nathan Wright. He's the one who pulled me up onto the path the night I fell," I say. I turn my attention back to Nathan and add, "I should let you get back to your lunch. Thank you, again, Nathan for being there when I fell and pulling me up to safety." I reach my hand out to him, and he takes it firmly in his and shakes it twice.
"Tris, I would like to get together sometime and talk to you about your mother," Nathan says. "It's been so long since I've thought about her." A small smile crosses his lips, and his gaze looks like he is in another time. "I should have known there was a reason why you reminded me so much of her when Four introduced you as our new leader but I had no idea you were from Abnegation or I might have put two and two together." I'm surprised he hadn't heard about the Stiff who placed first in this year's initiation class and was made into a leader. That seemed to be big news when it happened.
"That would be nice," I say. "I'd like to get to know you and your family. I would also love to know what my mom was like when she grew up here."
"How about we get together after the holidays. It's so busy for everyone right now plus by then you should be entirely healed up from your injuries. Would that be okay?" he asks.
"That would be great. Thank you again, Nathan. It was nice meeting you, Dru, Callen," I say then I look up at Christina. "Let's get out of here for a while." She takes the handles of the wheelchair and wheels me toward the exit of the cafeteria.
"Where would you like to go?" she asks.
"Anywhere but home or the infirmary. I've seen enough of those two places to last me a lifetime." She wheels me toward the guard rail by the chasm and parks me. She sets the break just to be on the safe side. I'm really not in the mood to roll into the chasm. I can feel a light spray from the rushing water every once in a while hit my hand.
"You really think that guy in there is your mother's brother?" she asks, skepticism on her face.
"I wish you could see Caleb, Christina. If you saw my brother and then looked at Nathan and Callen, you would be as sure as I am that they're related. The night Nathan pulled me back up onto the path, I honestly thought my brain was playing tricks on me. He looks just like Caleb right down to the color of his eyes, except Nathan is approximately 20 years older. I had talked myself out of what I saw, thinking it was the fear, adrenaline, or pain making me see things but when I saw him across the cafeteria just now, I knew. Somehow he and Caleb are related. It's so strange thinking there's a whole other family my mom has."
"Did you have any idea your mom used to be Dauntless?" Christina asks, leaning casually on the chasm guard rail, listening to me, ever watchful of those who pass by.
"Actually, on visiting day I became suspicious. She seemed to know her way around the compound better than I did, at the time, and she told me to have some chocolate cake for her. It didn't make any sense to me. After she left, I guessed she had to have grown up Dauntless, which still boggles my mind. My mom Dauntless!? I just can't picture it, I've tried. I can't see her anything but selfless, Abnegation. It's strange to think our parents lived different lives other than the ones they chose. According to Nathan, both my parents transferred into Abnegation. My dad was Erudite. Maybe that's where Caleb got his fascination with Erudite, and since my mom was Dauntless, maybe that's where I got mine."
"You were fascinated by Dauntless?" she asks, looking into my eyes.
"When I was growing up, I was mesmerized by this faction. I would get to school early to wait and watch all the Dauntless kids jump off the train and run up to the building. They were always so happy and..."
"Crazy?" she interrupts with a laugh. "I remember one day in upper levels a guy with fluorescent orange hair daring a girl with white-blond hair to pull an earring out of her ear, and she did it. She reached up and yanked it out of her ear. Blood went everywhere but she never even flinched. Crazy I tell you."
"I didn't view them as crazy, I viewed them as free. I had so many restrictions growing up. I couldn't do anything just for the joy of doing it, not even something as simple as reading a book or running just to feel the wind in my hair. Everything I did was aimed at helping others, and helping others did not come naturally to me. I was reminded of that almost daily by Caleb, who I swear is the most selfless person in the world or so I thought. I longed for the independence the Dauntless so freely showed."
"So, is that why you chose Dauntless?" she casually asks.
"When I walked up on the stage at the Choosing Ceremony, I honestly was going to pick Abnegation, especially after my brother had just chosen to leave my parents. I felt like it was my responsibility ... my duty to stay, to be selfless for them," I say, letting the memory of that day wash over me. "I picked up the knife, cut my hand, and held it over the Abnegation bowl, but then I thought about what I wanted, what I really wanted. I couldn't force myself to be selfless on a daily basis, it would destroy me, and the freedom of the white-hot coals of the Dauntless bowl called out to me. I honestly don't remember making the conscious decision to move my hand, I just remember the sizzling sound of my blood hitting those coals. I feel freer now than I ever have in my entire life, I've found home. Did you ever think you would end up in a different faction before your aptitude test?"
"I knew I didn't want to go through Candor initiation," Christina says with a thoughtful look on her face. "They give you truth serum and ask every personal question you can imagine. Absolutely nothing is sacred or kept private. You might as well walk around naked in front of every single member of Candor during initiation. I was overjoyed when my aptitude test was for Dauntless but, honestly, I didn't think of what that meant. All I could think was, 'I don't have to go through that hell.' I didn't realize I was signing up for a different kind of hell until Four got in my face that first day. He scared the crap out of me and then when Eric had me hang over the chasm." She just shakes her head, at a loss for words, and we both shudder at the terrifying memory. "To tell you the truth, Tris, Four still intimidates the shit out of me. The look he gets on his face sometimes, it's as if he wants to hurt someone. I have to admit when I found out you two were dating, I had mixed emotions. I thought he might be abusive or something." She looks at me remorsefully.
"He can be intimidating, I will agree with that," I say, "but he would never physically hurt me, not intentionally, Christina. Haven't you noticed a huge change in him since we got here?" She thinks about this longer than I think she will.
"I've only noticed a slight change and only when the two of you are together, so either love is totally blind or he's a different person only when the two of you are alone." I think about that. I've noticed so many changes in him, but I think she may be right, it's when we're alone I notice the most profound ones.
"I hadn't thought about it that way, but I think you're right, it's when we're by ourselves that he's totally different. He's much more relaxed, easy going, and happy." Just then I see Tobias, Tori, and Will across the floor of the Pit. Tobias is scanning the crowd looking for us. I point them out to Christina, and she takes us toward them. When our eye meet, his light up but his expression doesn't change. His Four mask is firmly in place for all to see. Christina's right, to the outside world he's still the same person he was before I jumped into that net but I know different. I wonder if anyone else has noticed a change, Zeke maybe.
"Hey guys. Did you get everything you needed? How's Hana?" I ask, reaching out taking Tobias' hand in mine. He holds it proudly for everyone to see, massaging little circles into the palm of my hand with his thumb. I feel his touch in the pit of my stomach but don't pull away from him. I need to learn to control this want, especially when we're in public and acting as leaders.
"Yes, we did. I put Hana's statement in the file," he says looking down into my eyes. "Hana has a lot of injuries but she's going to be just fine."
"I hear I'm going to Amity for you, Tris," Tori says, delighted.
"Yes. I'll email you the details of what we're working on so you can familiarize yourself with them. Also there's something I want you to ask the other factions. See if there have been any unexplained assaults, injuries, or deaths. Let's see if this epidemic is limited to us," I say to Tori and then I look at Tobias. "I know it's our home cooked meal night, Four, but how about we eat in the cafeteria again. I like being out of the apartment. Can we borrow the wheelchair for another hour or so?" I try out a little pouty face, and he smiles brightly at me and shakes his head slightly.
"Anything you want," he says as he leans over and places his lips lightly to mine for a second. "I love you," he says so softly I think I might have imagined it except for the love radiating from his eyes.
He wheels me into the cafeteria for the second time today and parks me at the end of our long metal table just like he did earlier. He grabs me a plate of baked chicken breast smothered in barbeque sauce, extra cheesy twice baked potatoes, green bean casserole, and cranberry salad. Then we each top off the meal with a hearty slice of chocolate cake, which I definitely have been missing. The conversation around the table focuses on Hana, the Christmas party, and the New Year's Eve masquerade ball, which has just been announced. Zeke, Shauna, Uriah, Marlene, and Lynn join us for supper, and while Zeke fills us in on Hana's condition, everyone listens carefully.
"She has a concussion, non-displaced skull fracture, laceration on her cheek, bruises and abrasions covering 75% of her body, six broken ribs, and her right leg is broken. Both of her eyes are black." He pauses and a very dangerous look crosses his face. "I would love to kill whoever did this to her."
"You'll have to stand in line, bro. She's never done anything to anybody. I just don't understand why this happened," Uriah says picking at his cake. I know he's in bad shape if he doesn't want cake.
"Four," Zeke says. "I'm sorry about earlier, man. I was worried. I know you love her just as much as I do."
"No need to apologize. I'm glad she's going to be okay. We'll figure this out, I promise," he says, placing his hand on his best friend's shoulder.
"I forgot to tell you, Tris," Christina says during a lull in conversation. "I got you a dress and shoes for next Saturday night. I'll bring them over to you sometime soon. When do you go back to the doctor?"
"Thank you so much for getting the dress for me. I appreciate it. He moved the appointment up to Wednesday afternoon. Maybe I will be walking by Wednesday night. Hey, everyone please keep your fingers crossed for me. I'm not sure Four can take much more carrying me around," I say deflecting the attention onto him. I'm still not comfortable being the center of attention. He looks at me and laughs lightly.
"She's right. My arms are killing me from carrying her everywhere. She weighs a ton since she stopped running with me every morning," he says with the devil's glint in his eyes, not really acting like Four. I guess that's what I get for trying to get the attention off me. I turn a pale shade of red, not totally embarrassed but getting there.
"Hey!" I say, indignant. "I haven't gained any weight, if anything I've lost weight from all the meals I've missed because of sleeping all the time."
"I'm kidding, Tris, take it down a notch," he says, rolling his eyes at me. Everyone at our table laughs at our little tiff. They don't often see this side of us.
"Christina, when will the masquerade gowns and masks get in at the boutique? We'll need to get there early to have the best selection," Ciara says.
"Zoe told me they're supposed to be in late Wednesday. I'll let everyone know when they get here, and we can have another shopping trip," Christina replies. Then she announces all the couples have to match. All the girls cheer happily but all the guys grumble. Men don't like shopping, and they have to get costumes and masks for the ball so it will be a coed shopping trip. "I'll arrange a private showing, how's that?"
"That sounds great," Kirsten and Ella say at the exact same time then start laughing. I'm enjoying my time out in public for the first time in almost a week, laughing and talking with my friends but Tobias is looking anxious. I don't know if it's the events of the day that have him on edge or something else but I think it's time to get him home so we can talk about it. A yawn involuntarily escapes my mouth, and I quickly realize I don't need to make up an excuse to leave, I really am tired. Apparently, sleeping approximately 20 hours a day for a week must take its toll on your body.
"I should get you home," he says, his hands hovering again. It's like he thinks I'm going to break or something. "It's been a long day, and Dr. Parrish wasn't really happy to see you out and about. I should have taken you home earlier."
"You can take me home now. I am tired. I'm glad I got out though. It was getting stuffy at home."
"What? I'm not enough for you?" he asks teasingly, low enough only I can hear.
"You're all I ever need," I say pulling him down to place my lips on his.
"Seriously," Lynn says, a scowl appearing on her face. "I just ate you two. All your mushiness is going to bring everything back up." Everyone at the table laughs, I blush bright red, and Tobias scowls at Lynn causing her to shrink back.
After I tell everyone goodnight and Tobias just grunts a lot, he wheels me toward the infirmary to return the overdue borrowed wheelchair. He then carries me from the Pit up to the Pire to our apartment. I know I was joking earlier about him getting tired of carrying me around but that was an extremely long journey for him with an additional 100 pounds in his arms. When he sits me down on the couch, I pull him down next to me.
"What's wrong, Tobias?" I ask as I lay my head on his shoulder. He puts his arm around me and pulls me close to him. He picks up the remote on the table next to him and turns our Christmas tree lights on. The site still amazes me.
"The DNA came back on Hana's attackers," he says. "It only matched one of the samples from the earlier attacks. We have more attackers roaming the Dauntless halls than we thought."
"Is there any way to make everyone give samples of their DNA?" I ask. That would solve our problem.
"No. It's illegal to force faction members to relinquish their DNA without cause. Unfortunately, a list of names is not cause. We have to have concrete evidence linking a person to a crime before we can ask them for their DNA."
"What about the sketches? Did you recognize them?"
"No, I didn't. Neither did Tori, which says a lot. She's seen almost every single member of Dauntless come through the tattoo parlor at one point in time or another, and she didn't recognize either of them. That's what has been nagging at me all day," he says releasing me. He gets up and starts to pace back and forth in front of me. "What kind of Dauntless member never goes to the tattoo parlor? It's a rite of passage here. Most people go multiple times. This just doesn't feel right. I feel like I'm missing something." He continues his pacing until it starts to make me dizzy.
"Tobias, stop." He stops in his tracks and looks at me, confusion on his face. "Sit down. Please." I move myself over and pat the couch beside me. He drops down onto the couch with a defeated air about him. "I have an idea. We need to talk to Hana again. We trust her. Show her the second list of names, ask her if she recognizes any of them. We also need to talk to Daniel and show him the sketches to see if he recognizes either of them. We also need to ask him if he noticed anyone following him in the weeks leading up to his attack. I think that's what bothered me this morning when we were talking to Hana. She recognized one of them as following her around. I also would suggest showing the sketches to Samaire but with her name being on the second list, I'm not sure she's to be trusted."
"Those are good ideas, but what else can we do?"
"How long has it been since you and Zeke watched the surveillance video? You've been home with me 90% of the time this week. You should go tomorrow and catch up. I'll be fine here. I promise," I say moving myself closer to him. I straddle his lap and put my arms around his neck.
"Tris, I don't think this is a good idea," he says firmly, trying to move me off of him, but I maintain my ground.
"Tobias, there's something else I need to say, and I don't want you jumping up and pacing all night."
"Okay," he says slowly. "What is it?"
"What if the attackers aren't Dauntless, at least ... not anymore?" Maybe maneuvering myself onto his lap was not the best thinking. When I made my announcement he got up, forgetting I was there apparently, and practically flung me to the floor. Luckily I righted myself and didn't do any damage. He didn't even notice. He once again is pacing in front of me, muttering to himself so low that I have no idea what it is he's saying or trying to work out. He stops in his tracks and looks at me.
"What do you mean, not anymore?"
"When I first started going through the Dauntless personnel files I noticed that there's a file on every member of Dauntless, past and present, which means dependents who transferred out, failed initiates, and members who are now factionless for one reason or another. What if we aren't looking for an active member of Dauntless? What if we're looking for someone who knows their way around, like my mom knew her way around on visiting day?" He stares at me for a long minute then starts pacing again.
I lean back and try to make myself comfortable, it's going to be a long night. I rest my head on the arm of the soft microfiber couch as I pull my legs up and stretch them out in front of me. I can feel the anxiety radiating off of him and, by the look on his face, he's going to be pacing all night, just like I was afraid. I look at the brilliant little lights sparkling all over the Christmas tree and think about how much has changed in a single day. I feel my eyelids getting heavy and instead of fighting, I surrender.