Skuntank, Swalot, and Slaking

BEEEELLLLCCCHHH!

It was a rather horrific day in the Simple Woods. Normally, it was the most pleasant, sweetest, and nicest place in the entire Pokemon world, where cute Pokemon came to play and sing. There were never any battles, because that just wasn't how things happened in Simple Woods. Everyone was so kind, helpful, and cheerful here that battle-thirsty Pokemon couldn't stand to be anywhere near the place. It was all too cutesy… but not today.

A Skuntank snickered. "Nice one. Did you hear the birds just fall out of the sky to it?"

The Swalot next to him smacked his enormous gooey lips. "They got no guts if they can't appreciate a good belch."

Close to the Simple Woods, there was a place called the Gurgling Goo Swamp. Its inhabitants were mostly the venomous kind, but all disgusting and repulsive. And they took great pride in this, negating all manners in order to achieve the grossest level of behaviors. Most of the time, they never bothered with the cute inhabitants of Simple Woods. But for some reason, these two had come out of Gurgling Goo today to torment them.

A horrid stench hung around the two, something like rotted cabbage, spoiled eggs, and burning plastic. But although it made the Cleffas and the Budews cry, Skuntank and Swalot seemed to enjoy it. They even hung around the place where the former had marked a tree so that the smell got even worse.

"They're not getting this out for at least two weeks," Skuntank said proudly on sniffing the progress. "Such a magnificent stanky odor, one that proves my power."

Swalot moved along the path, although it was more of an oozy glide than a walk. "Do you want to spray somewhere else to encourage the swamp's growth?"

Although he shook his head, he trotted along after his buddy. His wide furry tail swished along his back and on top of his tail, as he felt that was the rudest way to walk. "Nah, I need some time to build up to a full power stink again. But we should look around for another good place to return to tomorrow."

He made a weird burbling sound before saying, "Is this going to take a while? The swamp's getting crowded; we need to make more space quickly."

"I know, I know. But the time will make them suffer more." He laughed sharply. "It'll make things better when this happy fun place turns over to our slimy goopy swamp, to have that extra touch of tears and despair."

They were going to take over the woods? There was whispering in the trees following those statements. What should the cute residents do about them? Or what could they do? None of them liked to fight and these two had already beaten up a pair of Buneary that happened to be on their way in. One Clefairy thought that maybe a powerfully cute song could win them over. But as soon as she took in a deep breath, she breathed in a large whiff of the stench and promptly gagged. She fell right out of the tree into their path.

"Oh look, it's a puffball," Skuntank said. He then thwacked her away with his tail, sending her back into the trees. "Fore!"

"I think you're supposed to yell that before you swing," Swalot commented.

"Pffft, what difference does it make? Doesn't sound like I made her hit anything."

"I fought one of them one time." He paused, thinking. "It was a girl who'd come into the swamp after some flowers, but she was gutsier than these wimps. And quite the belcher too, given that her mouth can't unhinge and open up completely like mine can. She wasn't making stuff wilt by burping, but she could do musical burps. Anyhow, when we started fighting, she kept waggling her fingers and using weird moves. One time, she attacked with Gastro Acid. The scent of it made her puke."

Skuntank laughed. "Sounds just like these weaklings! Shouldn't be trying to cheat and use moves you're not supposed to."

Swalot gave a wet burp, although not anything like the one he'd made earlier. "I just swallowed the attack," he rambled on. "Nothing can dissolve my stomach. Although, it gave me a nasty heartburn for the rest of the day. Probably because it wasn't my acid. But the point of my story about the fight is… hey, what's this place?"

Stopping to look around, the pair saw a large opening. It was a place that the residents like to hold group dances and sing-a-longs, as there was plenty of space for a crowd. Many flowers bloomed here every day in the spring and summer; sometimes they even showed up in winter. But as the invaders' poisonous presence came into the grassy meadow, the flowers nearest to them started to wilt and droop. Even the plants here were used to cheerful happiness, not devious rudeness.

There was something odd about the meadow, though. In two areas, there were large patches of brown dirt and faded smashed grass. Both areas were almost circular, with the trampled plants in the middle. A third area was starting to become like this. In that patch, there was a large tan Pokemon lounging with her eyes half closed. The Slaking had moved into the Simple Woods months ago, getting in the way and tearing up grass. The residents had tried to get her to move out, as she clearly was not cute. But Slaking wasn't affected by anything they did. No amount of pleading, singing, poking, or talking would get her to leave.

"Hey punk, what're you doing here?" Skuntank asked, walking right up to her. "You don't look like you belong."

"We don't belong here either," Swalot mentioned, oozing over but keeping his distance. "I don't know if you want to mess with this one, though."

"Bah, I'll do what I want. So what are you doing here?"

Slaking blinked before opening her eyes fully to look at them. She said nothing. After a moment of that, she reached out, grabbed a fistful of grass, and ate it. Some green flecks of spit appeared on her hand and chin.

"Oh, you one of us then?" Skuntank asked. "Funny; I never seen you around Gurgling Goo before. You helping us to turn this place into a swamp, then?" He blew on some of the bright grass, causing it to instantly dull from the poison on his breath. "We're gonna make this place murky!"

"Mmm?" Slaking mumbled, looking wide-eyed at the dulled grass. That was in her reach, so it was part of her ten day long meal. Angered at the ruined food, she furrowed her eyebrows and glared at Skuntank.

"What, did I say something to offend you?" he replied tauntingly. "I'm a master at that."

A gloopy arm reached out to him as Swalot tried to get his attention. "Hey smelly, I really think you should be careful around her. I've heard stories…"

"Never mind your stories," Skuntank interrupted. "You take forever to tell them and seemingly never get to the point you were trying to make. She's got quite the grasp of rudeness to not speak to me yet, but must have thin skin to let what I have said get to her. That's right," he said, looking back to her. "You're a sissy and probably a crybaby too. In that case, you fit right in with these pacifist dorks!" He laughed.

Slaking grumbled. Figuring that it wasn't worth the effort to get up for this, she lifted her thick arm and snatched Skuntank's tail. And for a moment, she just lay there on the ground, holding onto him in that way.

"Hey, leggo of my tail!" He tried to tug it away, but her grip was too strong. "Lazy bum; can't even get up to fight properly, huh? Hey Swalot, why don't you try to eat her?"

The slimeball Pokemon gave him a questioning look. "Eat her? I don't think that'll work."

"She ain't moving fast; I can even make her smell really ripe. Besides, I've seen you eat a car."

"That took me a whole day," Swalot pointed out. "And it made my jaw ache. Unlike the car, she's alive, and I don't particularly like eating foods that raw. They squirm nastily before my stomach acid can digest them."

"You're just a scaredy… whaaa!" In the middle of his insult, Slaking lifted Skuntank off the ground. Having built up the will to move, she whirled him around by the tail several times to build up momentum. Then she flung him through the canopy and far into the sky, at such an arc that he might have traveled for over a mile before he came back down to earth.

Slaking then dropped her arm back onto her side and looked at Swalot blankly.

Oily looking sweat came from his body. "Uh, I'll be going then. This, uh, place is too sweet for someone like me to hang around for too long. It'll give me a stomachache." The oozy Pokemon then made his way out of the Simple Woods, silently telling himself that he wouldn't be coming here again any time soon.

With that bother gone, Slaking looked down at the wilted grass. Such a waste. She ripped it out and ate it anyhow. She didn't do nearly enough to make it much of a bother.

When it became clear that the swamp Pokemon weren't going to try taking over again, the residents of the Simple Woods were thrilled with their unexpected hero. They named Slaking an honorary cute Pokemon and a great friend to the woods. As the days went by, the younger ones like to play around Slaking, jumping onto her side and dancing as if on a stage.

Slaking herself didn't really care if they did so. As long as nobody fussed about her being there and eating the grass, she didn't have the energy to fuss about them playing around her. Besides, it was kind of nice to have mealtime entertainment.

…

Slaking FR/LG entry: It is the worlds most slothful Pokemon. However, it can exert horrifying power by releasing pent-up energy all at once.

Skuntank Pearl entry: It sprays a stinky fluid from its tail. The fluid smells worse the longer it is allowed to fester.

Emerald entry: Its powerful stomach acid is capable of digesting almost anything. The one thing in the whole world that Swalot can't digest is its own stomach.

Somebody had requested these three as the most disgusting ones s/he could think of. That kind of influenced how I told it.