I go to the small dressing room at the back of the salon and exchange the short black silky robe for the outfit I wore today: Black and dark gray pinstriped knit pants, a form-fitting long-sleeved dark gray T-shirt with a peekaboo geometric cutout along the neckline that show off my ravens perfectly, and my favorite black fur-lined ankle boots. I get dressed in a hurry wanting to beat Tobias to the cafeteria, excitement growing with each passing second. I can't wait to see the look on his face! I charge my afternoon makeover and impromptu spa day to my identification card, giving Christina a generous tip for working me in unscheduled then we walk slowly to the cafeteria, passersby giving me double takes as we go. I can't keep the blush off my face at all the extra attention.
Upon entering the dining hall, I realize no one is at our table yet, and I silently celebrate. Christina and I sit side-by-side waiting for the others. We're talking about Saturday's Christmas party when Uriah sits down at the table with two slices of Dauntless cake and nothing else. He looks at me then he gives me a double take with his eyes bugging out of his head.
"Nice hair, Tris. I didn't even recognize you," he says, looking at me a little too close for my comfort. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Peter sit down at the end of the metal cafeteria table behind Uriah. Why have I never noticed him lurking before? This baffles me. Maybe it's because he's totally unremarkable that I haven't noticed. He sits apart from the other Dauntless members already seated at the table like he doesn't know any of them. I feel his gaze on me, and I look up and meet his dark green eyes. He ogles for a minute, then looks away. I try to concentrate on the conversation occurring at our now crowded table but Peter's penetrating stare is making me increasingly uncomfortable but I will never let him know that. I didn't know the news Tobias gave me of Peter's skulking caused me any distress, but apparently it has. I want to hide away from his eyes and take a shower to wash his gaze off.
"Tris?" Tobias asks, confusion evident in his voice, as he lays his hand on my shoulder. I look up into his dazed dark blue eyes through the fringe of my new bangs. He stares open mouthed at me. Laughter circles our table as he stands there gawking. I've never seen him this flustered out in public before. He's always so controlled. He finally lowers himself onto the bench beside me. He drops his shock-filled eyes down, taking in what I'm wearing then slowly lets them glide all the way back up to the top of my head. I swear I will burst into flames from the trail of heat he just left with his piercing gaze. He once again lowers his eyes to mine and finally regains his composure, shutting his mouth.
"Four," I say, putting my hand on his knee.
"Wow ... you look ... wow," he says, gravelly voiced. "I've always thought you were absolutely the most beautiful person I've ever met but you are ... wow!"
"Thank you," I say, moving my hand up his thigh. I lean forward and put my lips up against his left ear and whisper, "You want to get out of here?" I feel him straighten up beside me, and I lean back and look into his eyes, which are full of anger. What in the world could I have done? I wonder if he's still mad at me for storming out of the infirmary earlier.
"I don't like how Peter is looking at you," he says. I don't either. It makes me remember the night of the attack and the feel of his hands on me. I shudder at the memory.
"Four, I hate to break it to you but every man with a pulse in this place is staring at Tris right now," Zeke says, getting another laugh from all our friends but a glare from Tobias. Once again, I blush crimson.
"I would love to get out of here," he says only to me. He helps me get up from the table, and we say goodnight to our friends. I thank Christina for the wonderful afternoon, and Tobias and I walk toward the cafeteria exit. I feel a gaze burning into the back of my head and turn meeting Peter's fiery stare once again. Tobias wraps his arm protectively but loosely around my shoulder when he notices Peter looking at me again then he shoots daggers at him. I wouldn't mind if he was using real daggers right now.
Once we get out of the cafeteria, I feel him physically calm down. On our way to the path, we stop by the little takeout place and get ourselves a large pepperoni pizza we will bake once we get home since neither one of us ate anything in the cafeteria. I notice Tobias is looking at me more than he is the path, which makes me increasingly nervous. I don't want him going over the side like I did.
"Tobias, could you please watch where you are going and stop staring at me," I say when I'm 100% sure we're alone. "I don't want you falling like I did." He laughs a little but obliges my whim. We talk about this and that until we get to the stairs that take us to our apartment. I haven't tried stairs yet with the crutches, and the sight of them intimidate me a little. I'm looking at the metal steps with a frown on my face trying to figure out how to maneuver them when I hear him sigh. He runs up the stairs two at a time and comes back down almost immediately, his hands free of the pizza box. He takes my crutches from me and leans them against the wall then swings me up into his arms. He gently places his lips against mine and kisses me as he expertly maneuvers us up the stairs. He carries me down the hallway to our apartment never once taking his lips off mine. He somehow manages to open the door and carry me into the apartment then deposits me on the couch before we break our kiss. He looks down at me for a minute then groans. He leaves the apartment and comes back with my crutches. He locks the door behind him and heads to the kitchen to put the pizza in to bake.
I scoot to the far end of the couch and grab the Christmas tree remote and turn on the dancing lights. I see Tobias set the kitchen timer for the pizza then he comes to the living room and sits down on the couch right next to me. I put my legs over his right leg, and he puts his arm on the couch behind me and his left hand across my legs resting it on my right thigh.
"What made you decide to do this?" he asks, running his hand through my hair.
"I wanted a change. I was looking at myself this morning trying to figure out what to do with my hair, and I realized Beatrice was the one who was staring back at me, and I wanted to see Tris instead. Christina helped me pick a style and cut and colored my hair. Do you like it? I wanted it to be a surprise."
"It definitely was a surprise. I didn't recognize you when I came into the cafeteria. I thought someone was sitting in your seat until I saw your ravens," he says gliding his fingertips across each of my tattoos, sending a shiver down my spine. "You look ... there are no words for the way you look. Beautiful, always so beautiful." The blush that so easily colors my cheeks returns as he plays with my hair. "I'm sorry I got angry with you after your doctor's appointment. The thought of losing you makes me absolutely crazy. I shouldn't have told you that you couldn't go to see Christina. It isn't my place to tell you what you can and cannot do. That was wrong. I don't ever want to treat you like I'm your father. Thank God I'm not your father." I lace the fingers of my right hand with the fingers of his hand that is resting on my thigh.
"What are we going to do about all this added stress, Tobias? It's taking its toll on both of us, physically and emotionally. We need a distraction or something," I say. "You know, Christina gave me a full-body massage today at the salon and, after I was done, I didn't have a care in the world. I told her I was going to make it a part of my regular routine. You should try one."
"I really wouldn't feel comfortable having a stranger's hands on me but you can put your hands on me anytime. I'd be open to that," he says, a twinkle in his eyes. I can't help but smile at him. I think about how the massage helped me, and I think it would help Tobias to relax.
"Yeah, I would try giving you a massage," I say to him. "I've never given one before but I think I can figure it out."
"You can do anything you put your mind to, you know that, right? I've watched you pull off extraordinary feats for the past five months that I thought would break you, and they only made you stronger. I love you so damn much. Come here," he says as he pulls me toward him. His hungry mouth lands on mine just as the buzzer for the pizza goes off. He hangs his head in defeat. "Damn interruptions." I can't help myself and a giggle escapes my lips. He looks at me and his eyes narrow.
"I'm sorry," I say leaning up and kissing him quickly on the mouth. I move my feet and lean over and get my crutches from the loveseat. I go to get up and he crosses his arms, giving me a dirty look. "What?"
"What do you think you are doing?" he asks.
"Um, getting the pizza out of the oven. You've been waiting on me hand and foot for over a week, let me get this for once. We'll eat and then go upstairs," I tell him with a shy smile. He returns my smile and another shiver runs down my spine. I go to the kitchen and get two plates out of the cabinet then I get the pizza out of the oven. I cut it into eight perfect slices and put a couple pieces on each plate and slide them across the island to where Tobias is now sitting. I then get two bottles of water out of the refrigerator and slide them to him as well. He moves my plate and water in front of my seat, and I make my way to his side to sit down. We eat our supper while he talks about his afternoon.
He and Zeke went through more surveillance video until they were all caught up. Each of the names on the first list, except for him and Daniel Parks, seems to have someone keeping tabs on their every move. I suggest that maybe Samaire inserted herself into Daniel's life to keep track of him and maybe she really did fall in love, either that or she's one hell of a good actress.
"Just be careful of Peter. Promise? He tried to kill you once," he says as he finishes his second slice of pizza. He gets up and gets himself another slice of pizza then puts the rest of it in the refrigerator after asking me if I want more. He cleans the kitchen up while he eats his third slice.
"I'll be careful, I promise," I say sliding my plate across the island so he can put it in the dishwasher. "Tell me something though, Tobias, why do you think you don't have someone following you around or do you think maybe Peter is killing two birds with one stone, so to speak, because we are together most of the time." He looks at me very thoughtfully and smiles.
"I know I dismissed that once, but you very well could be right. He probably has been watching us both because we're rarely apart. He's in well over 50% of my video." He turns off the kitchen light after he wipes off the island then comes to pick me up. I put my head on his shoulder and memorize how I feel in his arms. He turns the Christmas tree lights off and carefully carries me up the dark stairs. When we get to the upstairs hallway he carries me straight to the bathroom so I can get ready for bed. I ask him to bring me some clean pajamas since there aren't any in the bathroom and he does.
I catch my reflection in the mirror and stare. I don't look like myself anymore, and it startles me but I can't lie, I love the new look. I feel stronger, more Dauntless. I wash my face and brush my teeth, twice, to get all the pizza flavor out of my mouth. Then I put on the pajamas Tobias brought me, a silky pair of black and white polka dot pants with a matching silk and lace camisole top.
I open the bathroom door but don't see my crutches anywhere so I holler at Tobias, and he carries me the rest of the way into the bedroom and deposits me on the already turned down bed. I ask him to hand me my bottle of coconut butter lotion he bought for me earlier this year at an Amity booth at the farmer's market from on top of the dresser before he goes to the bathroom to get ready for bed. While he's out of the room I massage the lotion into the bare skin of my arms and chest trying to calm the emerging nervousness. He still isn't out of the bathroom yet so I put some lotion on my legs and stomach making sure it's well absorbed before letting my pajamas fall to their original positions. I sit on the bed trying not to think about what might happen tonight when he comes into the room. He stops a few feet away from the bed, nervous energy coming off him in waves.
"Take your shirt off, Tobias," I tell him, motioning to his skintight black tank top. He puts his hands on the hem and slowly raises it over his head, causing my breath to catch in my throat. After I can speak again, I tell him to lie down closer to the middle of the bed on his stomach. He does as he's told, lying down near the middle of the bed but still on his side, resting his head on his crossed arms. I lean over and kiss his exposed cheek. Then I straddle him being careful of my ankle and sit on his bottom so I have full access to his entire back.
"I'm not too heavy am I?" I softly ask. He shakes his head but doesn't say a word.
I try to remember everything Christina did to me this afternoon so I can duplicate it for Tobias. I pour some of my luxurious lotion into the palm of one hand then rub both hands together, warming it to make the sensation better. I then lean forward and put my hands on his left shoulder and knead his muscles, working the lotion into his skin. At first he tenses under my touch but soon his body feels like a well-muscled limp rag beneath my hands. I continue each deliberate move until I have worked all the knots out of each muscle in his neck and back.
After replacing the cap on my lotion and tossing it aside, I lie down on top of him and whisper in his ear, "Tobias." I don't get a response so I lean to the right a bit and notice his eyes are closed. I sit back up, gazing at the chiseled muscles of his back, and soon recognize the steady rise and fall of his sleeping body and can't believe I relaxed him enough that he fell asleep. So much for our first time being tonight but I can't be angry or even disappointed. He really needs to get some sleep. I gently get off him making sure I don't wake him and slide myself out of bed. Then I carefully pull the covers up over his sleeping form. I walk over to the light switch, putting as little weight on my right ankle as I can since my crutches are still nowhere to be found, and turn the lights off. I then make my way back to our bed and slide in beside Tobias and curl up and sleep beside him all night.
I wake up to the scrumptious smell of bacon wafting throughout the apartment. I look at the clock on the nightstand and see it's almost 7:30 in the morning. I stretch and swing my feet over the side of the bed. There, not quite three feet away from me, are my crutches. I can't help but smile at them and the fact Tobias made sure they were within arm's length. I take a hesitant step on my right foot after I retrieve the crutches and pain shoots up into my leg. How long is this going to take to heal?
I get myself to the bathroom where I go through my regular morning routine. I put on my makeup and style my wet hair the way Christina showed me yesterday then dry it. I look around the bathroom and realize I didn't lay out any clothes last night like I've been doing lately. I throw my PJs back on and head into our bedroom and stop dead in my tracks. Tobias is standing in front of his closet searching for something to wear in only his tight little boxer briefs. I fill my eyes with the delicious site in front of me. My stomach tightens with desire and my breathing increases. He's a spectacle to behold. He takes a pair of faded black boot cut jeans out of one of his drawers and pulls them up and over his hips. Then he slides a black and gray striped long-sleeved T-shirt over his head taking away my glorious view. When he turns around he jumps back a little and his eyes widen.
"How long have you been standing there?" he asks.
"Not long," I say. "Good morning."
"Good morning," he says as he walks over to me. I study his face as he comes closer with each step. He looks refreshed and bright eyed this morning. He also looks relaxed, which I haven't really seen since before my accident. When he reaches me he wraps his arms around my waist as I reach up and wrap mine around his neck. His sparkling eyes and dazzling smile mesmerize me. He picks me straight up, and I hear my crutches fall to the floor. He puts his lips to mine, and I immediately feel my blood begin to boil. I press myself against his hard body, and I feel a groan resonate from deep within his chest. He gradually pulls his mouth away from mine, and I slowly open my eyes. We gaze at each other, letting our hearts return to normal. I know nothing can happen this morning because he has a meeting in less than half-an-hour.
"I need to apologize to you," he says as he sits me on my feet.
"What in the world do you need to apologize for?" I ask, furrowing my eyebrows in confusion.
"Last night. I fell asleep when that was the last thing I wanted to do. You must be as frustrated as I am," he says, cradling my face with my hand. "Every time we get close to making love we get interrupted and then the doctor gives us the green light, and I fall asleep. I am so sorry, Tris."
"You have absolutely nothing to apologize for, Tobias," I say, leaning into his hand. "When the time is right, we'll both know it and it will happen. Last night, you needed sleep, and I'm glad you finally got some rest. I've been very worried about you. I'm not upset at all. Honestly."
"I don't deserve you," he says, leaning over and putting his forehead against mine.
"Don't say that," I say. "If you don't deserve me then I definitely don't deserve you." I raise my lips to his and kiss him again being careful to not let this fire within me burn out of control. After a moment I pull away. "Is that bacon I smell?"
"You get dressed, and I'll see if I can salvage our breakfast!" he says with a chuckle.