RR 16 Seamy Side of Stars Hollow

"Luke's!"

"We have to save the salmon!"

Luke grunted a small chuckle. "I already donated to SOWS," he replied, leaning back against the counter while he waited for Lorelai's retort.

"Wait! What? Sows are pigs, aren't they?"

"No, SOWS stands for Save Our Wild Salmon. We're already saving the salmon."

"Salmon pigs? Or salmon salmon?"

"There's no such thing as a salmon pig."

"Wouldn't that be cool if there were salmon pigs? They would be so cute with their fins and teeny tiny snouts and curly tails. Oh! Maybe the tails could spin like a boat's motor thingy!"

"Lorelai," said Luke, whose eyes were going to get stuck mid-roll one of these days, "Which salmon did you want to save?"

"Dinner is at the Dragonfly tonight."

"Ah," he said, finally understanding. "Sookie bought too much?"

"Oh yeah, and it's the really expensive stuff from Alaska."

"Sounds great, I'm in. Got another half hour or so here, then I'll meet you there?"

"You bet, honeybunch. Could you wear that plastic pig nose I bought you a couple of years ago?"

"No. Going back to work now," he said with fake censure in his voice.

"Hola, Manny," said Luke as he came through the back door of the Dragonfly kitchen.

"Hey Luke, dinner's almost ready," replied Manny as he stood in front of the stove.

Luke poured a glass of water and stood near the chef. "Everything OK? How are Leticia and the kids?"

"Any day that Sookie doesn't end up in the hospital or dead is a good day," Manny joked.

Luke grunted in agreement. Going to the sink, he washed his hands and started plating the salads. "You joining us tonight?" he asked.

"No, I wanna get home. It was a long day with the wedding and dinner both."

"I hear ya. At the diner it gets really late after football game, even longer when the high school wins." He deftly arranged the arugula and baby romaine lettuce before choosing a selection of vegetables for the top. Grateful for the courtesy Manny gave him and Lorelai by cooking for them so often and so well, he returned the favor. "Come by on Sunday. Bring the family for brunch on me, OK?"

They chatted further about the wild Alaska salmon that Manny had prepared with a healthy balsamic-citrus marinade and the miscellaneous topics that two chefs and two men found interesting. Lorelai, who had been managing and assisting the cleanup after the small evening wedding which had just occurred at the inn, suddenly burst through the door, even more gloriously decorated than usual.

"Here comes the bride!" she announced proudly as the two men turned to watch her procession into the kitchen.

Two full trash bags attached to a dust mop comprised the base of her bouquet, topped by a handful of blue and purple napkins which had been transformed into fluffy flowers. Streamers that had been thrown at the bride and groom curled down along the trash bags.

Lorelai twisted, opening the door to the dining room again to release her paisley paper tablecloth train which had gotten caught when the door swung closed. A huge paper bustle topped the train, bouncing up and down with every movement of her hips. Luke grinned at the absurd sight, while Manny, experienced in most weird things Lorelai, took the safe route and focused back on his work.

Lorelai locked eyes with Luke as she moved along the counters heading toward him. Openly laughing now, he stepped into her path and held out his arm as if he were waiting at the altar for her.

He surveyed the rest of her wedding attire as she took her time 'step-close, step-close' walking down the aisle, her cutely off-key voice humming the wedding march. Her dress was a maid's apron she had thrown on over her designer suit before she started helping with the cleanup. Her veil looked suspiciously like the lace curtain in her office window, topped by flowers from the wedding table settings.

"I see you wore your formal flannel," she said as she reached Luke and accepted the hand he held out to her.

"Only the best for you," he replied gallantly, straightening his worn red and blue shirt. "Love this. It's really working for you," he added, reaching around to her butt and squeezing the paper bustle.

"Where's my ring! Where's my ring!" she chanted.

Luke looked at Manny, who glanced at the bowls on the counter before choosing one and handing it to Luke. Luke grinned, then took a slice of jalapeno and slid it smoothly on Lorelai's finger.

"Aw, you think I'm hot! How romantic!" she gushed.

She leaned in for her kiss before continuing to the back door to dispose of the trash. Luke chuckled as he turned back to the counter to continue plating the dinner.

"You're in trouble," said Manny casually.

"How so?" asked Luke.

"Lorelai's got marriage on her mind. She's acting just like Leticia did before I got a clue and asked her to marry me."

"Oh, that," said Luke as he stirred the sauce for the cauliflower. "We have an understanding already. For god's sake, we live together. There's no hurry for a wedding."

Manny laughed out loud at that comment.

Luke raised an eyebrow, but said nothing more about it. "You want me to set up here at the employee table?" he asked.

Manny grinned knowingly. "No, Lorelai set up a table for you in the dining room."

The two men carried the food out to the dining room. Luke elbowed the swinging door open and moved efficiently into the dining room before he froze.

"Oh holy crap."

Manny snickered. "What did I tell you? She's ready."

Lorelai had brought what must have been all of the leftover candle and flower decorations from the wedding into the dining room. She set a large table for her and Luke, filling it with blue, white and purple centerpieces, many with burning candles. The six foot tall candelabra which had flanked the altar were also there, tapers blazing.

Manny nudged a stunned Luke closer to the table so they could set the plates down. He patted Luke on the shoulder sympathetically, asking, "You don't happen to have a real ring in your pocket, do you? You could save some time and just get it over with tonight."

Not waiting for an answer from his scowling friend, Manny headed back into the kitchen to clean up.

Luke was frustrated. He stood in front of a giant offering to the wedding gods and it was too early for them to sacrifice themselves on this altar, and he needed to rant. But no one was around to rant to. Manny had scurried back into the kitchen like the rat he was, depriving Luke of his only safe place to rant.

It was definitely not safe to rant about this to Lorelai, because she would take it completely wrong and she would realize that he wasn't worthy of her, and they would break up and he would be sitting in the Crap Shack with his ex and he'd have to move back to the apartment, which he had discovered sucked much more than he had convinced himself it did back when living in the apartment was a brilliant idea which had enabled him to save a ton of money and focus on the diner, idiotically proud of the fact that he had a bed that had no room in it for anyone but him. He liked their bed at the Crap Shack which smelled like an ocean breeze and Lorelai's coconut shampoo.

Ranting inside your head really sucks, he thought. A successful rant disperses tension and expresses fundamental truths, but it's only successful when someone is listening. Well, it's only successful if they listen and don't run screaming from the experience.

Luke was momentarily distracted wondering if Kirk had listened to too many rants that had caused him to run screaming and naked. Those must have been Taylor rants.

"Gah!" he shouted and jumped as Lorelai hugged him from behind.

"Geez, calm down," said Lorelai. "It's just me, remember? The love of your life?"

"Yeah, um hey." Luke ran his hand over his hair nervously as he tried to think of something to say that wasn't going to result in a rant or some otherwise irrational comment about weddings. He looked at the table filled with flowers and candles.

"That's a lot of flowers," he observed right before he noticed that Lorelai was back in her normal work clothes; paper wedding dresses and bouquets made with toilet brushes were nowhere in sight. "Where's the fire extinguisher?" he asked, looking at all the candles she'd lit. Wedding candles.

"You look nice," he added, "although I miss that little paper thing back here." He reached behind her and patted her butt affectionately.

She laughed. "You like big butts, do you?"

An eye roll later, he said, "Geez. No, I like you, whatever butt you have." He sighed. "This is a stupid conversation. Let's eat."

Lorelai patted Luke's butt as he held her chair for her. "Well I like butts that are exactly this size and shape," she teased.

She continued with excited, wondering eyes as she marveled at her encounter with her daughter that afternoon. "You should have seen Rory this afternoon when I stopped by the Crap Shack. She'd just gotten home, and she inhaled half the food you'd left in the refrigerator. Then Lane arrived, and they polished off the rest. Now they've gone off clubbing or something."

Luke' thoughts were captured by the candlelight flickering over their admittedly gourmet meal. It looked like a wedding dinner. In fact, everything looked like a wedding except for his clean flannel, which he had changed after work.

What was wrong with him? He was the one who'd started the marriage discussion right before the test run. I don't want to wait a year before we start planning, he'd said, but now he sat here, and it was the perfect opportunity, and he was frozen silent.

We can start throwing ideas around anytime, this beautiful woman had said in response to his marriage rant that had changed so much since the day many years ago of the traffic light installation outside the diner. That day he'd mocked marriage as stupid, arguing stupidly that only ducks mate for life, as he was consumed with jealousy over Lorelai's impending nuptials with that three-newspaper-reading jerk of a teacher.

Was she mocking him with a hint using the table decorations and her paper wedding dress? Was it a challenge, or just a reminder, as Manny had jibed?

"Why do you keep that putz around?" he questioned, managing to keep an ear on the conversation, a practice he'd mastered while managing the diner and listening to every word Lorelai said.

"Easy," she replied as she used a piece of bread to absorb the last of the sauce from her plate, then gave Luke a challenging look before she stabbed one of his fish pieces still on his plate. "Michel gets more done, satisfies more guests, and does it all better and faster than anyone else I've ever met. The only downside is, he won't let me tell anyone about it, and he wants to keep up a pretense of being a putz, especially to me. Kinda reminds me of a certain burger joint owner I know."

"Hey, I am not a putz. I have my standards and I stick by them. That's all."

"Oh, you have putz moments, my friend," she replied. "But you don't let many people see your soft side, just like Michel. And you do your thing better than anyone else, just like Michel."

"I am nothing like Michel," Luke insisted. "Finish your dinner. I want to go home." The last thing he wanted to do was discuss the merits of himself or Michel, not when he needed to ponder this marriage business.

Lorelai sprang nimbly from topic to topic six different times, from Dragonfly financials to jokes to some really amazing pair of kitten heels that she just had to have. Luke envied her the ability to switch from something as serious as marriage to something as trivial as a joke. He also admired her for it and welcomed it to bring him out of his one-track mind most days.

He leaned over the candle and blew the first one out as Lorelai's jokes faded from his thoughts and his undefined concerns about marriage jumped to the front of his brain again.

"Don't do that!" she cried. "It gets wax everywhere and takes forever to clean up. Michel bought a candle snuffer. Where did he put it?" She mumbled the last to herself as she opened drawers in the dining room's cabinetry.

"Here," prompted Luke, licking his fingers and snuffing out the candles by squeezing the wicks.

Lorelai slammed the drawer closed in frustration. "Well, that's one thing you do better than Michel."

"I don't want to hear any more about Michel, please," he grunted. "Do you want to take these with you?" he continued, pointing at the flower arrangements.

"God, no, they are horribly ugly! Also a little too 'Emily.' I wouldn't have those in my house for an evening, much less for a wedding. Daisies, maybe, although I think now I'd prefer an arrangement like the flowers you gave me for the test run."

They carried the dishes to the kitchen as Luke nudged her with his hip, asking "You liked those, did ya?"

"No, I loved them! I tried pressing them to save them, but they just got moldy, so now I have no flowers at all," she sighed dramatically, looking sideways at Luke to see if he got the hint.

Finally Luke knew how to respond to that. "Got it. Toilet paper, drain cleaner, flowers. Next time I go to the restaurant supply store I'll see if they have those big plastic flowers." He ducked, chuckling as she swatted him with a dirty napkin.

They cleaned up quickly, with Luke finally discovering a way to take his mind off his unidentified marriage concerns when Lorelai bent over the drawer in the kitchen as she looked for her favorite dishtowel with the mustachioed chef on it. The dishtowel chef was forgotten as the live chef made his presence known to her backside.

"Well, hello," purred Lorelai as she stood and pulled him to her as she leaned back against the counter.

Luke reacted as he should, putting on the best sexy Danes moves he could muster after ten o'clock at night when he had been up before five a.m. for deliveries, was worn out from Kirk and Taylor's mischief all afternoon, and had that pesky thing called a heart telling him to turn off the sexy and turn on the schmoop.

He'd used all his schmoop when Lorelai and he first got together. Now he was counting on Lorelai to use her words and wiles to pull him to the next level, so he could have the whole package that he'd secretly always wanted: the marriage, the kids, the Crap Shack finally at a place where he didn't have to spend all his free time repairing it and could instead spend all his free time making babies, cutting the grass and wiping jam hands.

He depended on those wiles, dammit! And Lorelai wasn't delivering. This was all her fault, right? The longsuffering Luke sighed deeply. He knew how to get Lorelai back on the schmoop. Afterglow Lorelai was always schmoopy. Also always hungry, which is why he kept making pie. He was willing to sacrifice himself once again, because, you know, that's just the way Luke Danes was. He dove back into the sexy.

"Wanna stay here tonight?" Luke breathed heavily in the middle of their heated exchange. This distraction was perfect. Everything else could wait until tomorrow.

"No way. Every room is booked, and Tobin is downstairs restocking the cabinets. Besides, we both have the morning off tomorrow, and I don't want to be woken up here so they can clean the room. I want to lounge around in bed with my boyfriend all morning and do dirty, dirty things with him."

"Let's go then," he said as wiped down the sink area one last time, hanging the towel on the rail. "You have your keys to the Jeep?"

"No, Jackson had a thing and needed Sookie's car, so I let her drive the Jeep home. Don't you have the truck?"

"No, I left it at home," he said. "Looks like we're hoofing it."

Lorelai changed into the shoes she wore into the stables and tossed her heels into her the bottomless purse. She linked her arm in Luke's as they headed home, enjoying the warm weather and starry skies.

Jess grabbed two duffle bags out of the back of his car and headed into Miss Patty's. "Hey, Patty," she called as she drifted from her kitchen into the music room, cocktail glass and cigarette in hand.

"Hello, Jess," she replied with the typical insouciant attitude that came when the locals were having a particularly good jam session. Morey's liquid piano sounds floated out of the door to the nearly soundproof room as Patty entered, knowing that Jess could find his way around her home without help from her.

She poked her head out the door once more to add, "Rory and Lane are supposed to come tonight," she added, "but I haven't seen them yet." At Babette's raucous laughter, Patty closed the door, enveloping Jess in near-darkness.

Jess loved his work, even though it had barely started and paid far less than a livable wage. He had time to work on his novel, and Patty practically wrote the story herself; at times Jess felt like he was taking dictation rather than writing a story. He'd submitted the first two feature articles for their e-zine and was waiting for feedback from the editors to move forward. This was so damn easy. How in the world did Rory ever find writing so much work?

Jess dropped his bags in his room, then grabbed a beer from the fridge and plopped down on the sofa in Patty's miniscule private sitting room. Rory knew to come looking for him here.

He pulled his latest notes for his novel out of his back pocket. This was almost too easy as well, the damn novel flowed like wine. Who knew that Liz and her incessant screw-ups would give him his first success? Jess knew this untitled missive would launch his career. He grinned lopsidedly as he thought about Liz chasing the next high, or the next boyfriend, always worshipping the possibility of the future, never considering the price she will have to pay for her past.

Lane pulled Rory out of her Prius. "C'mon, this is the best music available in Stars Hollow! Sophie's there tonight and will be playing some of her original songs."

Lane had been a fangirl of Sophie ever since she discovered one of her early albums. As rough on the edges as Luke, she had nonetheless built a reputation as both a musician and resident of the town. When she learned that Patty LaCosta and Morey Dell were long-time residents, she dove in and supported Patty in establishing a musical "salon," where the greats like Morey and Patty could share their talents, inspiring the not-greats like Kirk, who, under pressure, gave up music in favor of filmmaking, and the future greats like Lane, whose determination and hard work more than made up for her lack of family support.

Some nights, long after many Stars Hollow residents had retired to their living rooms to watch reruns of The Winthrop Women, Patty, Sophie, Babette and Morey would claim Patty's music room and jam until the wee hours of the morning. A few people in the know, like Lane, took every opportunity to sit at the knees of the greats.

Rory's interest in music had always been more to support Lane's passion and keep up with Lorelai's rapid-fire conversation. She could pass a written test on musicians and albums more than she could recognize good music when she heard it. Once she started Yale, she dropped music nearly completely.

"Are you sure you don't want to just watch a movie and each tacos?" whined Rory, tired from her studies. "Jess will be calling soon, and I want to find out when he's coming back to Stars Hollow."

Lane froze in mid bounce. "You can take your phone in, but make sure it's on vibrate. You do not want to get on Sophie's bad side. She makes Luke look like- a marshmallow if your phone rings while she's performing."

They moved quietly through the back alley towards Patty's back yard. As they passed the first of several small outbuildings, Rory sniffed. "I've smelled that before," she commented. "Some of the dorm rooms at Yale smell like that. Sweet."

Lane raised her eyebrows but said nothing except "Shhh, we're going in now," as she opened the door.

Patty stood guard and held Lane's elbow once they'd closed the door behind them. "You're probably going to have to leave for a few minutes. It's too crowded, but the old guys won't last much longer," she whispered as she pointed in the direction of Sy the crank and his re-enactor companions. "They've been drinking themselves silly."

"OK, but don't let anyone else have our spot," hissed Lane. "If you can get us close, I'll make sure you're sitting right in Luke's path the next time you're in the diner," she bartered.

Patty waggled her eyebrows and chuckled. "I'll see what I can do," she said before she let them out the door.

Rory slapped Lane on the shoulder. "How could you do that to poor Luke?" she reprimanded. "He hates it when Patty cops a feel."

"He knows when Patty's on the warpath," replied Lane dismissively. "And he's fast. He knows how to get out of her way."

"Still…" began Rory, when Lane pulled her to the building they'd passed earlier.

"We should go in here. Patty will come looking for us when Sy and his buddies leave. It's smoky, but there's beer and I just saw Kyle go in. You haven't seen him since his party, have you? He just joined the Navy."

"Oh," said Rory noncommittally. She hadn't seen Kyle since that disastrous party with the fight between Jess and Dean.

"I need to stop by the diner and pick up my account books so I can work on them tomorrow. You wanna go with or go straight home?" asked Luke as they entered the heart of town.

"Man, we have been together too long," teased Lorelai. "You never used to let me wander through town by myself at night, warning me about stranger danger and attackers behind every bush."

"That was before I realized you could just talk the attacker into submission," he countered. "I heard you're the single reason why we have almost no crime in Stars Hollow."

She chuckled. "I'm going to tell Taylor to give me a break on my taxes, then." She tucked her hand in his arm and they cut across some back streets.

"What's going on over there?" she asked as they went down the alley behind Patty's.

"What?" asked Luke. He was still preoccupied with deciding how to move their relationship along without actually doing the obvious thing. He followed the direction of her hand. "Oh, that's Patty's. She has some music stuff going on. Lane said something about it."

"You're saying there's a town event I don't know about? Why didn't you tell me? You know I have to know about these things!"

"Aw geez, Lorelai. It's just a couple of people at Patty's playing music."

"You should take your guitar, and we can go there so you can 'jam' with them."

"You mean so we can go there and you can see what's going on."

"Of course you know I'd be there to support your musical career."

Luke snorted. "My so-called musical career lasted about two weeks when I was fourteen. I learned a few bars of Smoke on the Water and that was it."

Lorelai valiantly kept pleading as Luke dragged her away from Patty's, to the diner, then back to the Crap Shack.

Jess awoke suddenly as the Sex Pistols' 'Pretty Vacant' announced that his editor was calling him.

"Hey."

"Hey, Jess," said Matt. "I got through those articles."

Jess stretched confidently and sat up, anxious to hear the news. He was in favor of putting the controversial music article on the main page. "And?"

"You know I never pull punches, right? They suck."

He was stunned. "They suck? Compared to that crap you've been publishing? What the hell, Matt?"

Matt sighed. "You know we suck up to the best writers, Jess, but you're on the way to being a partner. You need to hear the truth so one day you'll be able to manage writers yourself."

"Well, shit, Matt, what about the LaCosta story?"

"Jess, that reads like she's dictating it to you. Where's your viewpoint, man? We can't sell her story, but I know we can sell your story about her, as long as you can find it and write it."

"So it sucks, too?"

"Sorry, man."

Jess stalked out of the house angrily after finishing with Matt. As he reached the music room, he entered through the open door and saw Sophie and the rest packing up their instruments.

"Anybody seen Rory?" he barked.

A sleepy Patty waved her hand carelessly in the direction of the lounge. "Lane and Rory went to the lounge. They were going to come back, but never did."

Still angry about the phone call with Matt, he stomped over to the lounge and pulled the door open. A scent of marijuana blew out the door, followed by Rory's laughter and other voices. He stepped inside, looking forward to holding her in his arms and not having to feel the pain of Matt's rejection.

"Rory?" he said cautiously, looking around the group ensconced on different large pillows, low seats and broken-down sofas.

"Jess! Buddy, how are you doing?" called Dean thickly from a chair near where Jess was standing. "Gimme a hug, man!" he said as he unfolded his body enough to wrap his arms around the much shorter man.

He pushed Dean away, still looking for Rory. Finally he found her lying on some pillows on the floor, her back against Lane's stool, the two women engrossed in Kyle's story of his Navy training.

Lane tapped Rory's head. "Look who's here, Rory."

Rory slowly swiveled her head until her eyes landed on Jess. It took a couple of minutes for his actual presence to sink in. "There you are! I've been waiting for you!" she said slowly and happily. "How's my boyfriend?"

"She's high," claimed Kyle, an equally high Dean nodding in agreement.

"Jess is Rory's boyfriend," Dean said, continuing to nod his head dumbly.

"You've been smoking?" Jess asked Rory.

"Uh, no. Or was it yes? Lane, did I take a hike?" she asked, patting Lane's knee.

"Yes, or no. Not a hike. Maybe a hit. Dunno anymore."

"It's a contact high," said Kyle sagely. "She didn't take a hit."

"Oh! I remember! She, Rory, she said that she couldn't smoke, because Jess gave it up for her, so she couldn't start smoking, not even pot." Lane grinned, satisfied at her powers of recall.

"Contact high," repeated Kyle, taking a hit from the joint in his hand and passing it on to Dean.

"There's no such thing," said Jess, who'd researched enough as a kid to realize the truth. "Maybe some beers and the placebo effect, but there's no getting really high from secondhand smoke."

"Placebo. Got that right on my SAT test," mumbled Rory.

Jess bent over to help Rory stand. "C'mon, let's get you home."

"Hey, you going to Lorelai's?" asked Dean. He turned to Kyle. "Lorelai's got the best junk food stash EVER."

"Food?" asked Lane. "I'm in."

"Yay! Everybody come with me for Red Vines and Mallomars!" Rory looked around for her jacket, which Kyle found underneath his chair.

Jess wrapped Rory's jacket around her shoulders as Lane propped up her other side and they moved toward the door.

"Hey Dean," said Kyle, "Isn't Lorelai that really hot mom?"

"Oh yeah," he answered, "She's a real MIL…"

"Bye Patty!" yelled Jess, covering up the rest of Dean's reply.

Luke reluctantly pulled away from his sleeping naked girlfriend and took care of his personal needs in the bathroom. He smoothed his longish hair into place just as his stomach growled. All the sex he'd been having since he and Lorelai got together balanced out the additional calories he'd eaten in their many meals out, but he still woke up hungry on occasion.

Remembering the cantaloupe in the fridge, he pulled on some sweats and a long-sleeved Henley to ward off the slight chill in the air before leaving the bedroom.

The first thing he noticed was the light on downstairs. "Rory must have left it on," he thought to himself.

Reaching the living room, he looked at a strange lump on the sofa, only to recognize it and the accompanying snores as Jess. Then soft noises from the kitchen refocused his attention.

"Hey, Rory, when did Jess…" he stopped mid-sentence as he surveyed the situation. "What the hell?"

Dean, Kyle, Lane and Rory had been having a feast, unwittingly provided by Lorelai. There were at least six boxes of cereal open, candy strewn everywhere, an unsuccessful attempt at making macaroni and cheese, and beer bottles stood in various places in the kitchen that had been spotlessly clean just a few hours before.

"Hi Luke," giggled Lane and Rory. "Want some ice cream and Lucky Charms?"

"Ugh, no. That's disgusting. Did you leave me any cantaloupe?" he asked.

"I'll get it for you," offered Lane, a good employee even in a slightly high state. She hopped up and prepared him a small bowl full, setting it in front of him as Luke took a seat at the table.

What's that smell?" he began, suddenly recognizing it. "Oh shit. Did Jess get you guys into this?" He stood up and hurried to the living room. "Jess! What are you thinking!"

"Shut up, Luke, I'm trying to sleep," growled Jess, pulling the throw pillow over his ear.

"Luke! No! He didn't do anything!" said Rory, running over to him.

Luke turned to her, and remembering their shared history with Jess, believed her. Unfortunately, the latest noises had woken Lorelai, who came downstairs still tying her robe around her waist, before Luke could apologize to his severely irritated nephew.

"What's going on here?" she asked. "Rory, why are you up? Weren't you going to stay with Lane or Jess?"

In the kitchen, Dean heard Lorelai speaking. "That's Lorelai," he told Kyle. "Let's go say hi. She likes me," the fully baked young man told Kyle confidently.

They bolted to the living room, closely followed by Lane, who was unwilling to miss out on the show.

"Hi Lorelai," said Dean fawningly.

"Hi Dean," she answered automatically, before it sank in that he was in her house in the middle of the night.

"Do you know Kyle?" he asked as Kyle tugged on Dean's jacket beseechingly.

She gave Kyle a sidelong look as she studied Luke, Rory and Jess, trying to guess what had been going on. "Hi Kyle, nice to meet you."

"You're pretty," Kyle replied, which Lorelai ignored, but Luke didn't, giving him a penetrating stare.

As Kyle sidled closer to Lorelai, she caught a whiff of his scent. "Wait, what are you guys doing here?" She looked at Dean, who was still grinning brainlessly at her.

Adding two and two together and coming up with a total of Jess, she began unknowingly quoting Luke. "Jess, what are you thinking?" she demanded.

He angrily threw the covers off and stood up. "What was I thinking? I was thinking you guys might actually investigate before blaming me for everything that goes wrong around here! I am not a failure!"

"Jess, wait!" cried Rory. "What's wrong?"

He turned to her. "You! You know how I feel about drugs! I even gave up cigarettes for you. How could you do this?"

"I didn't do it!" she shouted as she grasped his upper arms. "No pot, no smoking, nothing! What are you so upset about?"

He looked at the crowd staring at him. "This whole thing sucks!" he shouted back. "I'm outta here."

He broke Rory's grip and walked out the door.

She looked at Lorelai. "Mom?"

"You won't solve anything by staying here," said Lorelai, whereupon Rory dashed out after Jess.

A/N: A cliffhanger, rare for me.