RR 18 Iced Tea and Applesauce

"Holy crap! That's a big budget!" exclaimed Luke as he peered over Lorelai's shoulder at her computerized ledger. "How the hell do you stay in business when Sookie's spending so much money on the restaurant?"

She reached up and patted Luke's cheek affectionately. "It's not that much really. Compared to the Independence Inn, she's working on a very tight budget."

Luke rubbed her shoulder sympathetically before going into the kitchen to fetch beers for them. He returned, flipping a chair around backwards and straddling it as he watched Lorelai finish printing her budget papers.

"There," she said proudly. "I'm all ready for my meeting tomorrow with Sookie and Ann. I'm not happy, but I'm ready."

"Still not breaking even?" he asked as he handed her a beer.

"No, and the biggest drain is the kitchen. We aren't selling more than a few lunches a day, but Sookie insists on keeping a full staff. That's an over-full staff, actually. She never got rid of the two extra employees she couldn't bring herself to fire."

"Jesus, that must cost a fortune." Luke rubbed the back of his neck, mentally calculating how much time he would have off if he had even one extra employee full-time, much less two.

"Each one's a horse," explained Lorelai, sliding the papers into a folder and into her bag. "For every employee who works a five hour lunch shift most days of the week, it comes out to just about the same cost as it does to keep each of our horses. The difference is we always budgeted for the horses. They aren't intended to make a profit just on rides. It's more the atmosphere they create."

"And the restaurant has to make a profit," concluded Luke.

"Yes! Our profit comes from the room rates and the kitchen. We're bleeding red because we've got thirty-five hours of kitchen labor but getting maybe $100 in revenue on a good day." She slammed her bag shut, dreading what was coming the next day.

She pulled Luke over to the sofa. "C'mon, let's watch The Pursuit of Happyness again. I want to be prepared when we have to move to a homeless shelter."

"Are you going to finally solve that Rubik's cube?" he asked as he flopped onto the sofa.

"I did solve it," she said casually.

"I don't mean by moving the stickers around," he said dryly.

The bells jingled as Lorelai came into the diner. Luke looked up from the cash register, his expression as dark as a thundercloud.

"Are you alone?" he growled.

"No Kirk in a wiener suit. Just me and the voices in my head," grinned Lorelai, making her eyes bug out to look a little crazy. "Most of us like looking at you, a few are suggesting you lose the flannel so we can see your guns, and one says it's time to buy me more jewelry."

Luke peaked one eyebrow to give her a skeptical look. New jewelry was already done.

A secret trip to New Haven after a phone call to Rory resulted in a nice lunch, a stunning antique diamond ring, and Rory's pathetic excuses as to why she was too busy to come to Stars Hollow, which she managed to accomplish without once mentioning Jess. He shuddered as he recalled Rory's roommate Paris' unequivocal instructions. "Big enough to make her cry, at least one carat per decade of her age. Don't cheap out on this, buddy. The woman always knows."

Rory wisely guided Luke away from Paris, knowing that she'd brought many a tougher man than Luke to tears. That's when they found a small jewelry store specializing in antiques from the early 20th century.

"How did it go with Sookie and the accountant?" he asked as he pushed her favorite mug (one filled with coffee) to Lorelai as she took a seat at the counter.

"The outcome was Kirk in a wiener suit trying to steal your business, that's how it went. Ann recommended cutting lunch, and Sookie went bananas, which is a really bad thing to do when your husband is a produce guy."

She took a deep draft of her coffee, then sighed, "So I became the asshole and insisted on canceling lunch."

Luke reached over the counter, took her hands and squeezed them. "It's hard when it's your friend, but you'll get used to it. Remember Brennan the butt napkin kid? Easy. He was outta there the same day. It wasn't nearly as easy the first time. She was a high school kid who couldn't hold a plate steady. When I fired her, she cried. I didn't know what to do with her standing there, crying like that!"

"What did you do?" Lorelai asked. "I bet she gave you the sad eyes."

He dropped her hands and pointed at her with both index fingers. "Exactly! The crying and the sad eyes, god it was awful!"

Lorelai grinned slyly. "What did you do, Luke?"

He hung his head in shame. "I let her stay on." Seeing her grin, he added, "Don't you say a thing about it! I made it work. I made her clean up the messes. By the end of the summer she hated the job so much that she quit."

"Huh," pondered Lorelai. "I wonder if I could trick a couple of Sookie's employees into quitting. Maybe I should come on to them or something."

Luke rubbed his temples, trying to be patient through her obvious joking. "How about if you try to avoid million dollar lawsuits the first year?"

"Well, ok, but only because my silent partner won't keep his mouth shut about it." She looked around the diner. Miss Patty and Babette were sharing a table nearby, and a few tourist-like creatures were looking out the window and occasionally reading their guidebooks. "Hey, where's Jess? He's always here, I thought."

Luke shook his head. "He was here working 12, 14 hours a day for over a week. He was here for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Then a couple of days ago, right in the middle of breakfast, he threw down his towel and walked out. Never said a word. I have no idea what happened to him."

Miss Patty interrupted them. "Luke, honey, Jess is in his room over at my place. He's been writing non-stop since he left here." She brought her check and money to the cash register. "He comes out to get food and beer then holes up again. I heard his boss wasn't happy with his first drafts."

"That doesn't make any sense, Patty," said Lorelai. "Your story practically writes itself."

"I know," she agreed. "Poor kid. I hope he pulls it together." She took her change with a brief 'thank you' for Luke, who nodded before going to clean tables.

She leaned into Lorelai. "Did he and Rory make up? I haven't seen her in a while."

Lorelai shook her head sadly. "No, and she's avoiding Stars Hollow because of him. She won't talk about it, either."

"I know, honey, love never goes smoothly," she said, patting Lorelai's hand. "Say, can you spare a few minutes to look at some of my fall dance costumes? I think some might need some repairs."

"Sure, Patty. Luke! I'm going to Patty's for a while. Toodles!" She waved wildly at him as he stood and watched her leave, enjoying the little extra she put in her step for him.

Sookie, with a sleeping Davey strapped in a carrier to her front, stormed into the diner.

"Where's Luke?" she demanded.

Caesar, who had been serving a customer, shrugged his shoulders. "He's around. I'm sure he'll be back any time."

Sookie sniffed the air. "You better get back there, that turkey melt sandwich is almost done. And use Dijon mustard next time along with a little cilantro. Your customers will thank you."

"Hey, Sookie," said Luke as he came from upstairs with an empty cash bag.

"What happened to monosyllable man? What do you think you're doing?" she demanded, jiggling a querulous Davey as she approached the counter.

Luke's eyes got big as he began to fear a baby temper tantrum on top of whatever reason Sookie had come into the diner for. Her eyes blazing, she slid a pacifier into Davey's mouth without even looking.

"Do you not remember the definition of silent partner? It means you're supposed to be silent! Quiet! Still! Saying not a word!"

"Hey, when you start sending Wiener Kirks to my diner, all bets are off! I don't mess with the Dragonfly restaurant, and you don't mess with my diner!"

"Hah! So you admit it!" she accused.

"Admit what? I did nothing!" He crossed his arms, grateful for the counter that divided them. At least Davey had settled down and wasn't doing anything except staring at Luke.

"You made Lorelai cut lunch! I bet it's because you said we have too many people. I don't have too many people! This is what I do!"

"Sookie, when was the last time anyone 'made' Lorelai do anything?" he asked. "I heard you guys were going to follow the recommendations of your accountant."

"But it's what I do," she said sadly, moving back to an empty table and sitting down. "I cook."

"Yeah, me too," said Luke as he poured her a glass of iced tea and joined her at the table.

She looked at the tea, then said, "Now you're just being mean."

"What? What did I do now?" he asked in frustration. "You want something else?"

"Yeah, a 7 Up, please. My stomach's all upset. I feel like I wanna throw up."

"Done. Done," he said as he hurriedly removed the iced tea and got her the soda.

"Look, Sookie, you were around when the diner opened, right?" He leaned in across the table.

"Yeah, I was just finishing culinary school."

"Well, I never told anybody, but that first year I almost went bankrupt. I did exactly what you guys are doing now – too much staff, open too many hours, not enough customers."

"What did you do?" she asked, rubbing Davey's head unconsciously.

"My parents' friends came in and yelled at me. I was kinda stubborn at the time," he acknowledged. "They went through my books, looked at my expenditures and gave me some hard advice. I ended up shutting down two days a week and cutting back the menu a lot."

"Huh. That's kinda what we're doing," she said.

"It will get better if you just hang in there for a while. It's not like you guys made any big mistakes, the business just isn't mature enough yet. You'll get there."

"Hey Sook, what are you doing here?" asked Lorelai as she came through the door. She went to their table, patted Luke on the shoulder and leaned into him.

"How long did it take to recover?" asked Sookie.

"Only a few months. Now look - more business than I can deal with." He patted a silent and happy Davey on the head as he stood up. "We were 'networking,' restaurant owner to restaurant owner," he said to Lorelai with a meaningful look. She nodded and took over as Luke went back to the counter.

"Sook, did you leave Michel in charge of the inn?" asked Lorelai. "Maybe we better get back. Who knows what he's done to Norman Mailer."

Sookie began to smile, her mood improving. "You know, Lorelai, I think that maybe I could cut back a little."

"Hey, if it would help, we could ask Cletus and Desdemona to step in and help out on occasion."

As she escorted Sookie out the door, she gave Luke a last wink and a wave.

"This is weird," said Lorelai.

"It's not weird," replied Luke. "You just don't understand choosing the lesser of two evils. You wanted to go to Doose's and buy that horrifying trucker swill. I still can't believe that a) you were really going to eat that, and b) Taylor was actually trying to draw strangers off the highway, especially those who drive eighteen wheelers and don't bathe for days on end. Think about the budget for the roadwork alone with a bunch of heavy trucks rolling down the streets of Stars Hollow. This initiative is not going to end well for him."

"Wait! You're telling me you are anti-trucker? Luke, what about your support for the hard-working common man? Doesn't he deserve stale nachos and two hour old hot dogs?" The only thing better than a Luke rant was being able to increase its intensity.

He stepped back from Lorelai and began waving his arms passionately. "Of course I support truckers! They are the backbone of the transportation industry now that train transport has been virtually eliminated in most areas of the country." One last wave of his right hand caught a guy's shoulder as he and his girlfriend stepped away from the movie theater snack stand. "Oh, sorry! You ok?" he asked the guy.

The guy steered his date in a wide circle around Luke, saying, "Sure, buddy, we're good. Take it easy there."

Lorelai, openly laughing now, pulled Luke back in line as the people behind them took a big step backwards. "Take it easy, Luke. It will all fall apart as soon as one guy parks in front of Doose's and takes up all the parking spaces. Or drives down Taylor's street after nine o'clock at night. Anyway, I'm thrilled that you're buying me my junk food for the movie, even though it's weird that you're willing to pay for it."

Luke smirked. "I'm Zen with it. Like I said, the lesser of two evils. You'd eat this anyway if we watched a DVD at home. We're getting the popcorn without butter, right?"

She scoffed at the notion of a Zen Luke. "No way, Zen-boy. I need my artificial butter flavor. Maybe they have flavorless rice cakes or something for you."

He sighed, wrapping his arm around her waist as the line began to slowly move along. They were in the middle of a kiss when Lorelai's phone rang.

"Chris?"

"Stop what?"

"We're talking about Gigi, right?"

"Oh Chris, honey, calm down. Where's Sherry?"

"When is she getting home?"

"I'll be right there."

Lorelai looked at Luke as she ended the call. He had clearly lost some of his Zen-itude.

"This is the first night we've had off together in over three weeks," he grumbled.

"I know, sweetie, but he's a mess. Sherry's taken off somewhere and Gigi won't stop crying."

Luke's eyes narrowed. "Where was he when Rory wouldn't stop crying?"

"He was off being a teenager, Luke. You know that, I've told you the history."

"Still, it's not fair. He's got a wife, and a mother, and probably a dozen nannies. Why does he call you?"

"Because he knows how Rory turned out. You saw Sherry when she came into the diner. She's like a perky Chihuahua on crack." Lorelai breathed a sigh of relief as she watched Luke's body language change from tense to resigned.

"OK, let's go," he said.

"You wanna just drop me off since we're in Hartford anyway? I can take Chris' car home when I'm done."

There's Zen, and there's stupid, thought Luke. Stupid I'm not. "Nah, I'll come with you. I don't want to sit at home alone, and maybe I can help."

"Luke, you know there's going to be a baby there, and the place is probably a disaster area."

He shrugged, deciding that Zen is as Zen does. "Just because I don't like other people's kids doesn't mean I don't know stuff. Liz lived at home for almost a year after Jess was born. I can change a diaper."

Surprised, and still a little doubtful, Lorelai took his arm as they headed towards the exit. As they crossed the ticket line, she called out, "anyone want to buy our Starsky and Hutch tickets?"

"I owe you big," said Christopher as he opened the door. "She hasn't slept for days."

"Yes, you do," said Lorelai. "We had to miss the last Starsky and Hutch screening."

"We?" asked Christopher stupidly, stepping to the side to let Lorelai and Luke in.

"Hi," said Luke, as Lorelai responded, "Luke and I were out. That's how we got here so fast."

"Out?" he repeated.

Lorelai giggled as she removed her jacket and tried to find a clean place to lay it and her purse down. "You really are in bad shape."

Gigi, who had been momentarily surprised into silence by the sound of the doorbell, began screaming again.

Luke shrugged off his leather jacket, took Lorelai's and hung them both on the doorknob after making sure it was clean, since every other surface was covered in baby food and clothing. At least, he hoped it was all baby food.

"I'll change ..." began Luke, but unable to remember the baby's name.

"Gigi," said Lorelai. "You sure?"

"Yeah, you go take care of him," he said, nodding his head to Christopher. He hefted Gigi to his shoulder, carefully holding her spinach-smeared onesie away from his clothes. "I'll get Gigi cleaned up."

Torn between wanting to keep Luke from having to take care of someone else's baby and the catastrophe that was Christopher, who had dropped to the sofa and was staring at the mess, she reluctantly sat next to her ex.

Luke was pleasantly distracted by Gigi's fascination with his dark hair. She grabbed the longish, just starting to curl, hair on the back of his head as he bent close, unsnapped the onesie and pulled it over her head. She giggled when she heard his rumbly voice as he spoke softly to her, remembering those brief days with Jess as a baby and how much Jess had also responded to his voice.

Fortunately for all three of them, he completely missed Christopher's comment about Lorelai being a Wonder Woman who raised Rory by herself. That was a good thing, because he would have responded in a way that was the complete opposite of Zen. Lorelai's early years in Stars Hollow made him sad because he didn't know her then and he would have helped her, and her pride kept her from leaning too heavily on Mia and Sookie. Who knows, he mused, if he and his family had known her, maybe Liz would have been positively influenced by Lorelai.

"Nice job with the duct tape," he said, turning to them as he showed Lorelai how Christopher had closed Gigi's diaper.

"Very creative," she said to Christopher. "You'll get this dad thing in no time."

Shooing Christopher off to the shower with a promise of non-applesauce food, she came to the changing table just in time to watch Luke throw a towel over Gigi's lower half as he removed the diaper.

"Whatcha doin'?" she asked, a little flirty, but also wondering if Luke were shy about changing a girl baby's diaper.

"Making sure I don't get sprayed when I remove the diaper." He looked at Gigi again. "Huh. Guess I only need to do that for boys."

"Let me hold her while I order the food. You did a good job, mister."

A little embarrassed, he mumbled, "Jess. Lots of practice." Looking around the room, he added, "I'll get some laundry started."

"You want the extra meat pizza with double cheese, right?" she teased. His only answer was to hit her with an accurately-tossed handful of baby socks.

A/N: Jess and Rory will be resolved, take heart.

I've had a tough ten months or so IRL, but it's getting better. This chapter feels like me again.