Chapter 9
Lydia's POV:
I secretly put on the red dress that was given to me by Rosie and started doing my hair. I tried to match the hairstyle that I had in my flashback. I started humming along with my music box as I got prepared. "I know this is dangerous but I have to do it I owe Spot and besides something about him makes me think he belonged in my past. That he was a part of it." I whispered over to my pigeon. It would be in a couple of days where I release him out back to the outside. My pigeon kept cooing like he was concerned about me. "Oscar won't know. I told him I'm only having dinner at Sarah's place and strangely he was fine with it. I guess it's because she's the one who made my wedding dress."
The pigeon just kept cooing and started to tilt his head. "Don't worry about me. I'll be fine." I looked at the locket again and looked back at my music box playing. "Something familiar about this locket." I didn't have any pockets in my dress so I just decided to wear it until I got to the restaurant. Not only is this a good way to make it up with Spot but it's a chance to return the locket to him. I bet it's Aura's.
"I'll be back soon. And when I get back make sure I have a name ready for you. You've been living with me for such time now. It's time you received a name. I tiptoed across the stairs and down the hall. I made sure Oscar and Morris were asleep by the time I would go out. I shouldn't be doing this. I'm going out to meet another boy. I feel so guilty but at the same I feel like I must do this because whenever I'm with Spot I get this good feeling that I don't normally get around Oscar nowadays.
When I got to the restaurant Spot was waiting for me outside. He looked so stunned and so starstrucked like he never saw anyone more beautiful before. "Wow… Just wow. You look amazing." We both let out a laugh and I started to shy away. "Thanks. My friend Rosie gave me the dress. And the hair was just my idea." I felt a hand gently lead me to Spot's face. "Don't shy yourself away. A beauty like this shouldn't be hidden away." I felt a warm light resonating from Spot and I felt like my heart would flutter out of me.
When I got in (well I got a different reaction). Almost every Newsie in Manhattan was there. They were all looking at me. I put my hand on my forehead to try to block out another flashback. I swear these flashbacks come at the wrong time. And mainly they happen when I'm around Sarah, Spot, or Rosie.
"They're all looking at me."
"Let them look it's time they see the side you've been hiding."
I felt a his hand resting on my back as I saw every Newsie look at me. Have they never really known there was this side of me? Am I really that reserved? I felt the gazes of the Newsies eyes following me as we walked to the theater. I felt a little boy's hands grab my hands as he complimented me on how I looked.
"Thank you Les. You're looking pretty dapper today as well."
"Not as pretty as you. You look like a princess."
"Is everything ok? Do you need to sit down?" asked Spot. "It's nothing I just have a little headache. It'll go away." Another clue to my past. It seems like what I'm experiencing with the newsies is the same experience I saw in my flashback. Then it means in my past I must've had something to do with the newsies. And that hand on my back. It felt so similar to how Spot has his on mine right now. And who's Les? This flashback maybe vague but I got a lot of clues to my past. I have to know who Les is.
"So why do you keep trying to hang out with me? Is there something about me?" said Spot. "Well I wanted to make it up to you on how I acted when we first met and this may seem strange but you seem very familiar. Like I feel like I know you in a past life. This may sound crazy but I have very little memory on my past. Like I don't know where I come from and I don't know my family. But when I see you I get this feeling that you may have been a part of my past."
"So how did you and Oscar meet?" The waiter came with our food but I was so concentrated with telling my story I didn't notice. "I was being attacked by a drunk man. He came and saved me and took me away to his home and from there we started to bond a lot and that was when I knew he was meant for me. But that was before. This may also sound crazy as well but I've started to get some of my memories back but I only see them for a short time. So I've started on my journey to the past. And starting that journey comes with a cost and that was losing my love for Oscar a bit. I mean I still love him we're still getting married but… But…"
"It's not like how it was before. It's not going like a perfect fairy tale to you." He read my mind. He understands me like how few people do. There's really something extraordinary about him. People always tell me that Spot Conlon is nothing but just a tyrant, a beast, a ruthless leader. That he gives no mercy. And he's capable of soaking anyone no matter how tough they are. But I don't see those characteristics in him. "Lydia you have something on your mouth." I looked up from eating my turkey sandwich and started to wipe it off. "No here I'll help you." Spot started to lean forward and laid a small kiss on my lips and he quickly went back down to his seat.
I just sat there stunned and surprised because that kiss. The way he kissed me. It was all so familiar. And strangely I liked it. I enjoyed it and I wanted more. I never felt like that when Oscar kisses me now. "I'm sorry. I couldn't resist such beauty."
"Kiss me again. I won't hit you." He did just that and this time I didn't resist. Something about this kiss gives me memories. It gives me joy. I heard a ton of newsies cheering. I looked over and all the newsies were just going crazy over us. I mean have they ever seen one of their kind kiss a girl. I tried searching the crowd for the little boy named Les. But I couldn't see him. I guess he didn't come today or something I mean he is a little boy. Shouldn't be staying up this late. Suddenly a newsie with a cowboy hat comes up to me pats me on the back.
"Nice one Lydia. You know how to really please Spot." And it came back to me. This was Jack Kelly. The Jack Kelly that won the strike. I heard stories from Oscar about the strike. He did mention Jack Kelly a lot and the times that they fought. I always thought it was funny because every time they would fight Jack would always win. And I thought Oscar was supposed to be this tough goon. "How do you know my name?" I asked.
"Everyone knows who you are. Not the thing with Oscar but you being with Spot. It's amazing how he managed to get over Aura and let her go. After her disappearance he was trying so hard to move on because he knew that what she would've wanted him to do." I'm guessing that Aura, the queen of Brooklyn, died. That's more sad than just her being lost. "I almost forgot." I took off the locket that was around my neck. "You dropped this the first day we met." Spot just looked down at my hand grinning. He put his hands around mine closing it and gently pushed it back to me. 'You keep it. It looks goods on you. And I feel like it'll help you on your journey to the past."
As I walked out of the restaurant I put the necklace back on me. I refused help from being walked home because I can't have the chances of Oscar beating on Spot. And he'll probably beat me too. I don't know. So far I don't know what's going on with my life right now. Before I was madly in love with Oscar but right now that love is starting to dissipate and I'm starting to express love for Spot. And a few minutes ago I just kissed him. I am such a mess right now.
Just sometimes. Sometimes I feel like I don't belong with Oscar. I know it sounds insane but things are starting to change. The world around me is starting to change. I'm starting to change.
"I have often dreamed of a far off place
Where a hero's welcome would be waiting for me
Where the crowds will cheer, when they see my face
And a voice keeps saying this is where I'm meant to be
I'll be there someday, I can go the distance
I will find my way if I can be strong
I know every mile would be worth my while
When I go the distance, I'll be right where I belong."
I sometimes have dreams where people would just accept me for who I am. Where people wouldn't treat me differently because of Oscar. I sometimes would have dreams where I would actually be considered a hero. Where I would do great and incredible things to get myself noticed. But like all dreams you have to wake up and face reality with the best of your ability.
"Down an unknown road to embrace my fate
Though that road may wander, it will lead me to you
And a thousand years would be worth the wait
It might take a lifetime but somehow I'll see it through
And I won't look back, I can go the distance
And I'll stay on track, no I won't accept defeat
It's an uphill slope
But I won't lose hope, 'till I go the distance
And my journey is complete.
But to look beyond the the glory is the hardest part
For a hero's strength is measured by his heart
Like a shooting star, I will go the distance
I will search the world, I will face it's harms
I don't care how far, I will go the distance
'Till I find my hero's welcome waiting in your arms."
I tucked in my locket under my dress and looked up at the sky. Looked up at the stars twinkling above me. I saw a couple shooting stars passing above me. And I knew that when I got home not only did I have a new song but I'm ready to actually go the distance.
"I will search the world, I will face it's harms
'Till I find my hero's welcome waiting in your arms."
I know what I'm doing is crazy and I know some parts of what I'm doing is wrong too but if it means getting my memories back and reuniting with my family and really finding out what me and Oscar were before then I'll keep doing it no matter the cost.