I look at the delivery girl with her long green braids, eyebrow piercing, and innocent face for a moment before I sign her tablet, add a point for a tip, and reluctantly take the black vase of white tulips out of her hands. I stand frozen in place in front of my office after she leaves me alone deciding exactly what I should do next. Tobias hasn't told me about any other flower deliveries, and I don't remember seeing this girl before so that means he's had at least four flower deliveries total from his secret admirer now, if it is a secret admirer. I quickly unlock my office door and deposit the vase on the corner of my desk and pace back and forth. Anyone who walks by will be sure to see them. Suddenly I remember that Christina is waiting for me so I turn to leave but something stops me. I turn back to my desk, grab the card out of the bouquet, and head to the tattoo parlor.
By the time I reach the Pit, rage is freely flowing through my veins making my blood boil. I don't see anyone who passes me through my anger-clouded vision, and no one tries to say anything to me sensing my increasingly bad mood. I want to rip into this card so much but I know that would be a violation of our trust. Although, he hasn't told me about the other deliveries so I view that as a violation of our trust. I really don't know what to do. When I walk into the tattoo parlor, Christina is leaning on the counter waiting for me. I glance at the clock on the far wall and see I'm right on time, and I let out a sigh of relief. At least she can't yell at me for being late.
"You ready?" she asks, eyeing me suspiciously.
"Yes," I say, trying to sound chipper but it comes out sounding slightly deranged. She looks at me even closer then moves around the corner of the counter and puts her arm around my shoulders.
"What's wrong, Tris? And don't say nothing because I know you well enough to tell when there's something upsetting you," she says. We walk to her tattoo station, and I sit in the reclining chair. I look around and notice we're alone.
"Four got another flower delivery today," I say. "I didn't think much of it until the delivery girl, whom I've never seen before in my life, let it slip that this was her third time delivering flowers to him. He never told me about any other deliveries, Christina. Do you think he's hiding something from me?"
"I don't know, Tris. I must admit it seems strange, why not tell you about them if he doesn't have anything to hide." I pull the card out of my pocket and turn it over and over in my hands. "What's that?"
"The card from the flowers," I say.
"Read it," she urges me. "Then you'll know what's going on and if there is anything to worry about. Didn't he tell you the first card wasn't signed?"
"That's what he said but to be honest, I'm not sure he was telling me the truth. An odd look passed over his face so quickly when he told me it wasn't signed I thought I was imagining it," I say, the words running together. "Part of me really wants to open this card but the other half of me doesn't want to. I don't know what to do, Christina. I don't know how I feel right now, and I'm not sure I can get a tattoo that's supposed to represent him." She stares wide eyed at me. This is the first time I've really doubted him, and I can't believe I'm saying it out loud to another person. I sigh and she pulls her stool close.
"I'll read it for you if you want me to. I offered to do it the last time but you need to do what's best for you, Tris. I would read that card. It might not be anything." She sits patiently looking at me. I drag my eyes from hers and look at the small plain white envelope that's laying in my hand. I finally tear into it and turn it over to read it. I lay it back down in my lap then pick it up and read it again making sure my brain is processing the words correctly. Pain spears through my heart, shattering it.
T
Usual spot.
Tonight.
Urgent.
Love you.
What does this mean? The card falls away, and I barely register the fact that Christina bends down to pick it up. I stare off in the distance through tear-filled eyes, not seeing anything. Who sent this? Whoever she is, she knows his name is Tobias. He told me I was the only one he shares his secrets with. How many other girls has he told the same thing to? Christina slides the little card back into the envelope and lays it in my hands, which are resting numbly in my lap. She sits next to me and lets me fall to pieces. I hear someone come up to Christina's station but she shoos them away.
"It's time to go to dinner, Tris. What do you want to do?" she quietly asks me after a while.
"I need to go home," I say, wiping my eyes. "I'm sorry, Christina. I'm going to have to cancel our shopping trip tonight. I doubt I even go to the masquerade ball."
"Do you want me to walk with you?" she says.
"No. I need some time to gather my thoughts. When you see Four in the cafeteria, would you please send him home? I'd appreciate it." I get up and give her a hug then turn and practically run out of the Pit. I manage to keep the tears at bay as anger once again builds replacing the despair. I stop by my office and grab the vase of flowers then head up to the apartment. I put the flower arrangement on the island and prop the envelope up against it, which has obviously been opened, so he will see it upon entering the apartment. I can't stop myself from pacing back and forth, dread slowly filling me. Soon I hear the door open. I realize I'm not ready to look at him, not yet.
"What's going on, Tris?" he says, anger clear in his voice. "Christina was very rude when she told me I needed to come home immediately." I spin around and glower at him.
"What is this about, Tobias Eaton?" I say pointing to the vase of flowers and the obviously opened envelope. He looks at me incredulously.
"You read the card?" he asks, disbelief coloring his voice. "How could you?"
"When another bouquet of flowers arrived I laughed at first until the delivery girl, whom I've never seen before, told me this was the third delivery she's made to you. I got angry because you didn't tell me about the other deliveries. It made me think maybe you were hiding something from me. I guess I was right but I had no idea I would find a secret message for a clandestine meeting from someone who obviously knows your name is Tobias. Who is she, Four?" Jealousy threatens to tear out the last shards of my shattered heart. "Was the first card really unsigned or did you lie to me about that, too? I thought I caught a look for just a split second that morning indicating there was more to the card but I convinced myself I was imagining it? If I hadn't opened this card would you have lied to me again?" By this time I'm shouting at him, not able to hide my rage.
"Don't call me, Four," he says, his voice menacingly low. "I thought you trusted me."
"I did trust you until you lied to me." I'm still shouting at full volume, adrenaline-spiked blood pumping through my veins at an alarming rate. "Why should I trust you now?"
"Come with me," he shouts back, grabbing me around the wrist and pulling toward the door, "and I'll take you to meet her right now. I just want you to know, me not telling you about her has nothing to do with you. I know it seems like a deception but it's not. I don't know how to deal with how I feel about her, so how do I bring you into that. My only crime here is lying to you about the first card. You're right. It said she wanted to meet. I ignored it and the other two deliveries. I would have ignored this one too if you wouldn't have stuck your nose in where it doesn't belong." He pulls me out into the hallway, down the stairs, and out the front of the building. I feel like a two year old having to run to keep up with a hurrying parent.
"Stop it, Four," I yell, grabbing my hand away from him and stopping.
"Damn it," he shouts for the entire city to hear. "I told you not to call me Four. You know I would rather have you call me Tobias."
"I'll call you Tobias when you are acting like Tobias," I scream. "Right now you're acting like Four. Where are you taking me?"
"The train," he gruffly replies, finally lowering his voice. He grabs my wrist and pulls me behind him once again. "I'll help you jump on and off." Sure, he doesn't mind me ignoring doctor's orders to jump on and off a moving train but something that wouldn't put my life in danger is totally out of the question. He finally slows down when we reach the train platform. I rip my hand out of his grasp. When we see the front of the train, we both start running. He quickly jumps on and pulls me up after him trying to minimize any damage to my ankle. As soon as I am safely on the train, I move away from him and sit on the bench. He hits the button and lets the doors slide shut to keep as much of the bitter winter air out of the already cold car as possible.
"How's your ankle?" he asks bending down in front of me, taking my leg in his large hands.
"It's fine," I quietly say but honestly I don't know. All I can feel right now is how his hands feel on me, and I don't want my body to betray me and react to his touch but it does. My heart starts hammering in my chest.
A tear slides down my cheek, and I quickly wipe it away. I look away from his eyes and try to conjure up the anger again because if the betrayal returns, I won't be able to stop crying. We ride the train to our unknown destination in silence until we reach our jumping off point. He gets up and opens the doors. He then comes back to me and holds his hand out to mine. I just look up at him with a frown frozen on my face. He sighs and picks me up cradling my back with one arm and my knees with the other. I cross my arms and refuse to look at him.
"Tris, unless you want to fall out of my arms when we jump you'll need to put your arms around me." I contemplate how badly I would get hurt if I were to fly out of his arms jumping from a moving train and reluctantly wrap my arms around his neck. A small smile crosses his lips until I glare at him so he just glares right back at me. I once again look away from his eyes. He takes a few steps back then runs toward the open car door and jumps out of the train landing on his feet. My heart flies up into my throat when we jump. It feels like I'm flying.
He takes a few running steps making sure he's steady on his feet then sits me down. I look around but it's too dark to tell where we are. He once again grabs me by my wrist and drags me along behind him. He's moving a little slower now so I don't have to run full speed to keep up with him. I want to know where we are but I'm too stubborn to ask right now. After a few minutes I realize we must be at the old train yard because he's dragging me over multiple sets of train tracks. We wind our way through old, rusted metal engines and boxcars that haven't been operational in decades and enter what looks like an old train service center. There are dim dirty lights hanging from the ceiling here and there, and I can see a few factionless people roaming around.
"I didn't think you would come, Tobias," says a haggard-sounding voice emitting from the shadows. He stops us and releases his grip on me but I automatically move closer to him as fear starts to rise within me. Why did he bring me here? Suddenly an obviously factionless woman steps out of the shadows and recollection washes over me. It's the same frail-looking, thin, middle-aged woman with olive skin and dark curly hair I saw at Christina's appointment at the clinic. When she sees me next to Tobias, she frowns. "You brought someone with you." She doesn't sound happy.
"Yes, this is my girlfriend, Tris. She read your card and wanted to know who you were," he says and not in a friendly tone. He sounds like the intimidating instructor I met on the first day of initiation, not the caring man I fell in love with. Now I'm scared, angry, hurt, and confused, and I don't like feeling this way at all.
"Four, what's going on?" I demand, emotional exhaustion weighing me down. "Who is this woman?" I still can't shake the feeling I should know who she is. She looks so familiar. I look up into Tobias' eyes, and I finally see it, the same hooked nose, strong jaw, ears that stick out just a bit too much, the spare upper lip. I gasp and take a step back. It's his mother, his dead mother. I knew I had seen her before.
"Tris, this is Evelyn," he slowly says at the same time I say, "Evelyn."
"How?" I ask, barely above a whisper, still looking up at Tobias. "I was at her funeral."
"I didn't know you were at her funeral," Tobias says.
"Abnegation girl, huh, Tobias?" Evelyn asks, looking me up and down. "I don't remember any girls named Tris though."
"Tris Prior. Her parents are Andrew and Natalie," he says.
"Beatrice Prior," she says. "That name I remember." I was seven years old when I attended her funeral. Tobias was only nine when his mother supposedly died. I remember feeling so bad for the little dark-haired boy standing all alone by the window looking so sad. I slump onto a bench I happen to be standing in front of. It creaks under the sudden assault of my weight.
"About a year after I joined Dauntless I got a coded message from Evelyn to meet her, although at the time, I honestly thought I was going to meet Marcus. The only reason I went was because I was curious," Tobias says to me. "I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw her. It wasn't the happiest of reunions. I don't like to think about it, and it isn't easy talking about."
"I need to speak to you, Tobias. It's important," Evelyn says. "I would rather we speak in private. It's a family matter."
"Family," he scoffs. "I really don't want to hear anything you have to say. I only came here because Tris found out about you. I won't lose her because of you and your secret messages." I'm still in total shock when I notice a small child with curly black hair playing by one of the trains. No one seems to be looking after him. At least I assume it's a boy based on the haircut since he has his back to me. He, too, is obviously factionless by the way he's dressed. He's climbing on a rusty train wheel and making whistle noises. I can't help but smile at him. Evelyn notices my gaze and turns her head to see what it is that has caught my attention.
"Tyler Aaron, you be careful. Do you hear me?" Evelyn says. The little boy turns at the sound of his name and I gasp. I can't believe my eyes. I swear I'm looking at a toddler-sized version of Tobias, except he has light blue eyes. They almost look like mine. I look up at Tobias, and he seems as stunned as I am right now.
"Who is that?" he asks, his voice trembling slightly. I don't know what emotions are moving through him right now because his Four mask is firmly in place. Anyone else would think he isn't bothered by any of this, but I know better. Evelyn takes a deep breath before she continues.
"That's Tyler," she says. "He's my son."