"No way," Isamu says as I put on my tie.
"Yeah."
"But there's a church around here."
"It's not my religion."
"You said you're Christian. It's a Christian church."
"That's just a generic Christian church. It need to go to… it's important, okay?" I say as I try to tie my tie for the umpfteenth time. I never was very good with ties.
"So, you're telling me that you're going to going two towns over, an hour and a half by foot, to go to church at your church?"
"No, of course not."
"Good, I was starting to think you were-"
"I'm buying a bike." I finally finish my tie.
"What happened to 'keeping the Sabbath holy?'"
"It's necessary, so it's okay."
"Why didn't you get it last night?"
"Well…. I didn't think of it."
"Well, have fun at church."
"Have fun doing whatever," I say as I close the door.
Maybe he was right. I shouldn't be buying a bike on Sunday. I got probably make it if I run hard.
"Someone help me!" I heard as I passed an alley. "Help!" I quickly turned and saw a large teenage boy holding a girl against the brick wall. He was holding a frozen looking pair of daggers. Is that a Maken? I have to help her, but with that Maken… how? They clearly didn't see me. I had to do something fast. I didn't know what was going on, but I had to help. Then, I noticed a bike leaning against the wall. I really nice one, fully tricked out. I bet that's his. I quickly hopped on his bike.
"Hey, doofus!" I yelled as I rode away. My assumption seemed to be right, because he ran after me with such fury and language I shan't repeat.
I started riding faster and faster, but then I realized something. I didn't have any plan. Not even a hint of one. I got near a river. I got it. I rode ahead into a row of alleys. I quickly got off the bike and put it in a near by dumpster. Then, I waited until I could hear that he was close enough and I grabbed a rock and threw it in the river.
"Did you just throw my bike in the river?!"
I just smiled and ran off. I saw him jump into the river to try to retrieve his bike. I grabbed the bike and started riding towards church. Awesome. Free bike. And people say that helping people is a waste of time.
I could go into detail about going to church and whatnot, but it wouldn't be very compelling. Let's skip ahead.
I open the door. "Hey, du-"
"Yeah, baby. That's right." He turns toward me. "Hey, dude. Excuse me for a second."
"I hate you," I say in a somewhat defeated tone.
"Okay, I know it looks bad, but technically, I am not in the living room."
"Well, you might be right, but… why the kitchen? One, that's way worse. We eat in there. Two, wouldn't it be more comfortable to jerk it…. I don't know…. anywhere besides the kitchen? I don't like that you do that period, but you seem to really love masturbating and I have no right to tell you what you should or should not be doing, so I'll let it be. So, ammendment to our old rule. You can jerk off in your bedroom or in the shower. NOWHERE ELSE!"
I set up the deep fryer and got everything prepared.
"What are you doing?" Isamu said half feigning interest. He was just lounging on the couch watching TV.
"I still feel really bad about what happened earlier with Himegami. I'm going to make it up to her by making her an American delicacy, deep fried desserts."
"Deep fried…. desserts. That sounds disgusting."
"Yeah, it does. I've never tried it before, but I want to do something special to make it up to Himegami, so I'm going to make her deep fried copyright neutral chocolate cookies with cream in the middle, deep fried cheesecake, and deep fried ice cream."
"How can you deep fry ice cream?!"
"Magic," I say jokingly.
It took a little while, but I finished it and arranged it nicely on a platter. I started making my way downstairs. I hope she likes it.