We talked for a little while, but I grew weary of it.
"It's getting kind of late. I better get back to my place," I said.
"Well, nice meeting you, Nick," she replied.
"The pleasure was all mine. Farewell," I responded as I left.
I came back to my apartment. Isamu was chilling on the couch, watching some TV. I sat beside him. Neither of us spoke. I'd been chatting for hours, so I wasn't in the mood to talk. Isamu probably just didn't care enough to talk. So, there we sat, silent, watching TV. Pretty soon, we got hungry. Well, I don't really ever get hungry, but it was time to eat.
"I'll call a pizza," he said.
"No, you know how I feel about making someone work on Sunday."
"Well, we can't just go hungry."
"Glad I didn't just grab sweets last night." I made us some macaroni and cheese. We didn't have many other choices. Between the deep fryer and the sweets, I didn't have much room in my arms for actual food. I'll have to go legitimately grocery shopping soon. We sat down to eat. I said a grace to myself and began to eat. I couldn't stand the silence, though.
"Hey, I noticed there is a third bedroom," I noted. "Is this apartment built for three?"
"Oh, didn't I tell you?"
"What are you talking about?"
"We have another roommate that's moving in. Two, in fact."
"Really? But they're going to miss the first day of school."
"Relax. One of them- ugh… Jervis, I think is his name- is staying with his deaf mom for a few days while his dad is out of town, just to be on the cautious side. The other is finishing up her season of… some sport. I forget. They both have passes from the school."
"Oh, okay, but hold on one second. Let's not just glaze over the fact that you used a feminine pronoun when talking about one of our roommates. Neither of them are girls, right?" I asked, laughing a little uncomfortably, fearing I already knew the answer.
"Well, I mean…"
"Right?" I asked, clearly more exasperated.
"Okay, yeah, one of them is."
"And since there are going to be four of us and three rooms, that means…"
"Yeah, and I call dibs on bunking with the girl."
"Yeah, I'm sure she won't have a problem sleeping in the same room as a guy," I say sarcastically.
"You don't know. Maybe. And besides, I called dibs. I get dibs."
"Well, we can sort that out with a house meeting when they get here."
"Ugh, that sounds boring. Why waste time like that? It only makes sense. I have by far the biggest room."
"Okay, you're right. There is no need to have the meeting. You can share the room." He pumped his fist with joy. "But if it goes sour, no changing your mind."
"I knew you'd come to see it my way. Shake on it."
"I've got a better idea." I started to my room
"Where are you going?"
"Do you ever listen?!"
"Do you ever shut up?"
"... touché."
I was gone for about five to ten minutes. I came out with a sheet of paper covered in text.
"What's this?"
"Just a little contract of sorts. It just says that I'm letting you have a roommate and you will stay with them for a minimum of eight months with only minimal to moderate complaint." I signed where I needed to. "Just sign here." He gave it a quick glance, then signed.
"I'm so excited. I'm going to have an athletic girl bunking with me. Boobs and Butts City, here I come!" He was so excited I almost didn't want to ruin it for him. Almost.
I chuckled. "Not exactly."
He went white in the face. "What do you mean 'not exactly?!' We have a contract."
"Yes, a contract that says we're agreeing that you will bunk… with Jervis."
"You tricked me. You slimy dog. Oh, I'm…. I'm…. a little impressed. You knew I would barely glance at it. Pretty clever."
"Hey, this isn't my first rodeo."
"But if you knew I wasn't going to read it, why not write that we'll switch rooms and you'll stay with the girl?"
"A few reasons. Firstly, you made it sound like this girl is pretty athletic. I don't want to get my rear kicked. Secondly, I want to have to deal with her "monthly cycle" as little as possible." I paused. "Oh, who am I kidding? I'll probably being dealing with it all more than you and Jervis no matter what."
"I have no response to that," he said, clearly a little grossed out.
"Thirdly…" I sighed. "Look, I might act like I think I'm a saint sometimes, but I know I am far worse than you could guess. I have my weaknesses. I could easily 'accidentally,'" I put up air quotes, "walk in on her dressing. And let's say, on the very off chance, she's into the idea of bunking with me or even into me. She would be in a prime spot to seduce me. I… I don't know if I could handle the temptation. I don't know if I'm strong enough."
"Look, man," he said in a more serious tone, "I know we've barely met, but I can tell that you would have the determination to say no. You have a light in you. A strong light."
"People say that. It might be true. But there is a strong darkness in me, as well."
"That was ominous."
"Oh, well. You aren't too upset about being tricked out of the room, are you?"
"I'll live. It's not like she would have really let me see anything anyway."
"Plus, I don't think she would be too keen on you JOing all the time."
"True."
"I'll tell you what, though, if you want we can switch rooms and I'll bunk with Jervis."
"Okay, I'll think about it."