First day of school. I got up early, so I would be ready and alert. Isamu, though, did not have the same drive. When he finally got up, he was beyond groggy.

"Good morning," I said from the kitchen, where I was making myself some bacon and pancakes. He gave a weak grunt. "What do you want for breakfast?"

"I don't care. Whatever. Anything." He was talking like a sloth. He kind of looked like one, too, the way he slumped and was all disheveled. I chuckled to myself about the idea of moss growing on his stomach.

Naturally, it was orientation day. I was surprised at how similar it was to a normal school's orientation. That was two differences, though: there was magic and there was fighting. It made me kind of regret my decision to join this school. The magic thing wasn't necessarily a problem. Though I haven't had too much practice with it, I have been told that I have some promise. I shouldn't really call it magic. It's not. There are no potions or spells. It's really control of element and the like . For simplicity sake, though, I'm going to call it magic.

Fighting, though, really was a problem. To understand how much of a problem this is, you have to know somethings about me. First off, genetically, I was not made for athletics. My dad was an active kid, but he was still scrawny. I was never good at most sports. Bowling and golf, I am. I was born with a bowler's body. My grandmother,grandfather, aunt, and cousin on my mom's side and my dad were in a bowling league. I was born to bowl. Back on subject, secondly, I'm a nerd. Most sports don't interest me (to play, I like watching American Football, Hockey, and occasionally Baseball). I prefer to stay inside. It doesn't help that being in the cold for much time kills my lungs, ears, and jaw. Plus, I have the reflexes of a sea anemone. Thirdly, I'm lazy. I'm not motivated enough to work out much. I was much worse when I was younger. Now, I go to the gym four to five times a week, but if I had a say, I would probably go a lot less. Fourth, I'm American. It might sound racist, but Japan's history is deeply rooted in fighting and it seems many Japanese people carry on the tradition. Especially the students here. It wouldn't surprise me if most of these people have been training and fighting since they were five. To be fair, Americans love war and heaven knows if we didn't fight some of those fights, we would still be under England's control and we would still have slavery, but the difference is that the U.S. is a young country. We weren't even invaded- I mean, "discovered" by Europeans until after the invention of the gun and by the time the colonies were semi-established, guns were the common weapon. I was never pressured to learn to fight. Sure, I took Karate for a few years, but (a) I forgot it and (b) it was a form that was way too specific to be used much in an actual fight. And sure, I wrestled for a season, but I never really got close to beating anyone and I quit before the season ended. I've never gotten in a fight, except with my sister when we were younger, but that was largely scratching and pulling hair. (Editor's note: Thanks for pulling me into this)

As well as the normal welcoming speeches, rules, instructions, and, of course, boasting their school, the Orientation had a couple speakers describing Makens and element.

(author's note: if you're reading this story, you are probably familiar with Makens and element, but in case you aren't, a Maken is an individualized weapon or tool or something of that nature that has special abilities. For example, in one episode, there is a girl with a Maken that, by saying a person's name, can basically immobilize them. They all have their own names and, for some reason, when first using a Maken in a scene, they always say Maken and then the name of the Maken. Element is basically a mix between life force energy and midichlorians [if midichlorians weren't, you know, dumb])

Later, all the boys got physicals. The girls weren't getting physicals until the next day. The physicals were given by mostly female nurses, which immediately made me uncomfortable. We all split into eight lines, two per grade. I was assigned to be examined by the school's official full-time nurse, Aki Nijou. There was a machine that reminds me of those blood pressure machines you sometimes see by store pharmacies. Oddly, despite the long line, no one seemed to be in too much of a hurry. I soon found out why.

"No, put it in deeper," I heard in a sensual tone. What on Earth?

"You might be too big," I heard from the same voice. It was clearly coming from ahead. Something was up. I leaned out from the rest of the line to get a better look. It was Aki. I didn't want to say anything that might offend her, so I bit my tongue. But double entendre after double entendre came my way. I felt a little pressure in my pants and looked down. Yo, check out that sick boner you got. Awesome. What is your problem, me? Enough was enough. I enjoyed it, but I knew what was right. I got out of line and walked politely over to her.

I hesitated.

"Is something wrong?" she asked. What is with her voice? Can she talk in a way that doesn't sound like she's trying to seduce the world? (A.K.A. Meredith [no one who reads this except my editor will get that])

"Well… you're talking in a way that makes me… uncomfortable."

"What do you mean?"

"Stop holding up the line!" an angry boy yelled.

"Let him talk," she said.

"Well, you seem to do a lot of things, especially in speech, that- I'm sure inadvertently- is a double entendre."

"Like what?"

"Things like saying, 'put it in deeper.' And during your speech at Welcoming Ceremony, your object lesson with the bread stick going in the bread ring." And don't even get me started with the baguette. {HIMYM} "Plus, if you would excuse me saying so, you have a very… sensual voice that makes things that would innocent coming from someone else, sound dirty."

"Hm, no one has really told me that before. Does anyone here agree?" All the boys within earshot averted eye contact, some giving a weak cough, some kicking their feet, all of them clearly trying to avoid giving the answer they clearly unanimously had.

"Well, I'll have to keep that in mind. Thank you so much. I wish I could repay you somehow."

"There it is again."

"Oh, sorry. Well, since you seem to be the only boy who it bothers, I'll do you next."

"And again."

"Right. I'll examine you next so you don't have to hear anymore of my accidental lewdness. Anyone have a problem with that?" Though some of the boys looked a little peeved, no one spoke up. They all had clear desire to please her- dang it, now I'm doing it, too- and knew she wouldn't be too happy if they were insensitive to me. Plus, I'm sure they were a little glad that they would hear her mote.

"Great." It didn't take too long. She measured my blood pressure and the such, then had me put my arm in the machine.

"This is the newest upgrade of the Maken machine. It will read your psyche and strengths and design a Maken that will fit you."

I put my arm in and after a few moments of scanning, she said that I will get an email when my Maken was ready.

"How long will it take?"

"Well, since you were one of the first few, it might be before the end of the school day." And people say nice guys finish last.