Chapter 3

…

They arrived back at Mallory's flat just after 2pm, Mallory walked ahead of James towards the front room, taking off his jacket and throwing it over the chair before taking a seat. As James walked in, Mallory had his head down, clenching his hands…attempting to relax a little. James watched him closely as he closed his eyes briefly, he felt a little uneasy seeing someone like M so unsure of something. James took a deep breath as he came and sat down on the coffee table in front of Mallory as the older man moved his legs to make room for him.

"Gareth, please look at me."

The older man lifted his head to meet James eyes, two sets of blue eyes staring back at one another before Mallory sighed.

"I wish there was something I could say James…but there's not. I should have told you before anything happened between us, I nearly did but…"

"You did try too I guess, you were very apprehensive at first."

"I didn't try hard enough…clearly."

"You could have told me about the baby…why didn't you?"

"You know why, I couldn't bare the disgust. When I was younger, about sixteen…I was best friends with a boy who lived down the road from us…we told each other everything. Well, one day I decided to tell him about my ability to conceive."

"What happened?" He asked, quietly.

"He hit me…beat me, he told me I was a freak…sick. I begged him never to tell anyone."

"But he did?"

"No he kept quiet but, he refused to speak to me ever again. Every time he would see me, he'd cross the street just to avoid me."

James reached out, attempting to take Mallory's hand but the older man pulled away from him.

"Gareth I'm sorry, I'm sorry that your best friend couldn't accept who you were."

"It's not just about him, it's about everyone. I'm not the person I was back then. I hold a high position within MI6 now, what do you think people would think…I risk losing my job, the respect of the people around me, my reputation...friends."

"Not everyone in the world is prejudice you know, you'd be surprised."

"I'd rather not take that risk James."

"When did you find out?"

"Why?"

"I'm just…curious."

"Three weeks ago."

"When you ordered me to go to that re-training course?"

"Yes."

"Is that why you sent me…you were pissed at me."

"I'd like to think I'm more mature than that."

"So why didn't you tell me, why did you wait for me to go to Copenhagen before getting rid of the baby?"

"I just thought it would be easier."

"Easier…on whom? I had a right to know."

Mallory got up, attempting to move away from James. As he walked away James tried to take hold of Mallory's hand but the older man yanked it away as he walked towards the kitchen.

"Come on, don't walk away."

Mallory turned; trying to push James away but the younger man took hold of his arms, pushing him against the nearest wall with a thump. James was looking deep in to his eyes as Mallory breathed heavily as James had an arm across his chest.

"Let me go James."

"I'm sorry; I'm…god, are you alright?"

James was suddenly very apologetic, his eyes darting to Mallory's mid section. Mallory glared at him before moving from the wall, going to the kitchen to make some coffee. James stood in the doorway watching him, guilt pouring from him as he walked towards Mallory. He came up behind him, wrapping his arms around Mallory's waist, his hands resting on his abdomen. Mallory closed his eyes tightly when he felt James press the palms of his hands to his stomach.

"James don't…please."

James could hear Mallory's voice cracking, James wasn't the best when it came to emotion but for him this was just so different.

"It's okay…it's all going to be okay." James smiled against his neck as he placed a warm kiss there.

He could feel the silent tears as he turned Mallory around in his arms, James leaning in to kiss his lips before Mallory lost the feeling in his legs, coming down to the floor, James coming with him as he held him in his arms. They sat in silence for ten minutes or so before James finally decided it was safe enough to speak again.

"I know it doesn't make it easier on you but…this kid would be bloody lucky to have us as it's parents, I know I want it…I think deep down, you do too. I know you're worried about other people's opinions but I'll be right there with you. It's our baby in there; please…don't get rid of it."

Mallory moved from his place in James arms, he wasn't used to feeling this emotion or vulnerable but James seemed to be handling his state well.

"I'm terrified."

"I know, but what first time parent isn't."

"What if we…what if we can't work as a couple. It was one night James, two months ago."

"I haven't been with anyone since that night with you…you know why? Because I don't want anyone else."

Mallory smiled up at him as James leaned down, covering his lips…wrapping his arms tightly around him.

"I want this Gareth…I want us…all three of us."

"Can I sleep on it? Just a little more time, I promise."

"You can take all the time you need, I'm not going anywhere."

Mallory decided he needed to sleep and asked James if he could be left alone for a while, which he agreed too.

…

Eve was sitting at her kitchen counter, eating some left over Chinese from the previous night when the knock at her door disturbed her. When she opened the door, she was a little surprised to see James standing in front of her.

"James…"

"Hello Eve, can I come in."

Eve stepped aside as James walked in, she gave him a curious look as she closed the door and followed him as he poured some vodka in to a glass.

"Help yourself, why don't you." She said as she sat back down at the counter.

"Look…I'm sorry about earlier."

"So you should be, I sent another agent in your place, he arrived in Copenhagen a couple of hours ago."

"Thanks for that."

"James…what the hell is going on. You don't just abandon a mission like that."

"Believe me, it was unavoidable."

"Right…out with it."

"Eve I only came here to apologise."

"Well tough, you're not leaving here until you tell me what's going on. You rush off a plane before it's due to take off…you demand to know which hospital Mallory was at. What's wrong with him and don't say nothing because it's something and you're in on it."

"Eve I…"

"For god sake James, he's M…he's our boss…and he's a friends. If he's ill then we…"

"Eve…it's so complicated."

"I have all night."

James poured another glass of vodka and passed it to Eve.

"You're gonna need this."

Eve watched as James made his way over to her couch, she came to join him, setting her glass on the table as she turned and listened intently as James began to explain to her what had happened. As he finished, he watched as he got up and brought the bottle of vodka over, pouring two larger glasses as he took a long gulp of hers.

"Eve…you have to say something here."

"He's…pregnant…M?"

"Yes…I know it's crazy but…."

"A little…this is insane, how can he…"

"It's a very rare condition."

"How can you be so calm about this…if it were a woman you'd be the first one going nuts over this."

"I was there Eve, at the hospital…the fear in his eyes when he was waiting to have the termination I…and then later in his kitchen when he broke down in my arms I…"

"If he doesn't want to go through with it James…you can't force him too. I imagine this will be tough going on him."

"I know I can't force him, he promised me he'd think about it if I just gave him time and…that's what I intend to do."

"And if he decided he can't?"

"It'll be tough but…if he can't do it then...I'll understand."

"And what about if he does decide to have the baby?"

"Then I'll be there…for all of it." He smiled.

"Does he know you're here, telling me all this?"

"No, no and Eve, you can't tell him that you know please."

"I won't say a word, but James…listen to me when I say, that whatever he decided…you can't be a jack ass. You need to respect what ever decision he makes and stand by him…no matter what."

"Eve I…"

"Promise me, he'll get the support no matter what."

"I promise."

"Good…another drink…god knows I could use one?"

"Sure."

…

To Be Continued…