Chapter 3: The New Submissive

CPOV

It's been a week since the party with Ana. I don't know what happened but she couldn't get far enough away from me. It's all for the best I guess. Except, I can't get her out of my mind. I don't know what's wrong - I don't even know her. Maybe a new sub will help take my mind off her.

"Christian, how good to hear from you. I was starting to think you stopped loving me." Ugh, I hate being indebted to her. But I can't exactly go trolling around the clubs for someone.

"No chance of that, Elena. Look, I don't have time for chit chat. Can you get me a new sub? Today." I feel like my insides are twisting - normally I'm excited at the prospect of a new sub. I'm probably just having an off day.

"Of course, darling. I have the perfect girl. I can have her to your office in two hours."

"Fine. I'll have Taylor meet her in the lobby. Make sure she's signs an NDA." Without waiting for her response I hang up. I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel like this isn't right or something. Of course, there isn't anything right with me. So, why would this be any different?

Two hours later I'm sitting in one of the conference rooms on the first floor. It's small and not like my conference room by my office or even the ones on my floor but I am not going to risk anyone seeing her.

Taylor brings her in. She's my type - long brown hair and a slim build. She's already looking down meekly as a perfect submissive would. "Have a seat. What's your name?"

She looks up at me with ordinary brown eyes. "Jasmine, Sir." She's pretty enough I guess. But there's nothing extraordinary about her. Her eyes are so plain and her hair doesn't have the shimmer in it like Ana's. It's like she is expressionless.

"Jasmine. I have your dossier here. It looks like you are a well-established sub and you come with great references." I just stare at the report that Elena emailed me. I don't really want to look at her.

"Yes, Sir. Thank you, Sir." Jasmine looks up at me when she is finished speaking to catch a quick glance at me and quickly looks back down.

"Jasmine. Tell me. What are your soft and hard limits?" I don't really feel excited about her. She's just plain but maybe there's something new I can do with her that will help me get out of this funk.

"Sir. I don't have any. Sir can do to me whatever he wishes." Something in my gut twists even more. I'm starting to feel sick. Normally, no limits would make me ecstatic. But I just want her out of here.

I can start to feel the bile rise in my throat. I can't do this. "Listen, Jasmine. I'm sure you're a nice girl and all but this won't work. I'm… I'm sorry." I look to Taylor and he steps forward to escort her out.

Jasmine looks up at me and looks like she is going to panic. "Sir. If I may speak freely. It is my desire to please Sir. I will do whatever makes him happy. If it pleases him, we can even do a practice session with no limits." She looks up at me with her characterless eyes and a hint of a smile at the corners of her thin-lipped mouth.

Under normal circumstances no limits would excite the hell out of me and I'd have a raging hard on at the thought of it and take her right here. But I can't do it. She's not right for me. She's not what I want. She's not Ana.

I can't stand to look at her for one more second. "GET OUT NOW!" Taylor looks to be in shock. I've never done this in an interview before. "Taylor, escort her to her vehicle now." Taylor just nods and takes her by her arm. He looks shocked but I know he won't ask questions.

When they leave the room I take out my cell phone and quickly hit my speed dial. "Flynn, I need to see you right away. I can be there in 15 minutes." I hang up the phone and make a beeline to the SUV without even letting Andrea know I am leaving. Taylor is behind me on my heels.

"Taylor. Take me to Flynn's." I can't get there quick enough. Something is wrong. Something is happening to me.

Taylor just looks at me in the rear view mirror and actually looks worried. I must look on the outside like I am feeling on the inside. "Yes, Sir."

"So, Christian. What's the reason for this urgent session?" Flynn looks up at me over his glasses. He's always such a smug bastard.

"I don't know. I had a meeting for a new sub and I had to get her out of my face. I couldn't stand the idea of her. She's pretty and all and on paper she's perfect but I can't do it." The words are pouring out of me and I can feel the panic settling in once more as I recall what happened.

"Whoa. Whoa, Christian slow down. Let's start from the beginning. So, you had a meeting with a potential new sub, correct?" Flynn is poised and ready to take notes. He's really pissing me off.

"Yes."

"And that's normal procedure for you, is it not?" What the fuck is he writing?!

"Yes. You know that." I say through clenched teeth. I can feel the anger radiating through my body starting from my toes and working it's way up. Why is he asking these questions? He knows the answers.

"But the interview didn't go the way you expected?" Jesus Christ. Really?

"YES! I told you that! What the fuck, Flynn? Why are you asking me questions you already know the answers to?!" I can't contain my anger anymore. I feel out of control. I don't like this.

"Christian. You are obviously upset. I am just trying to get to the core of the issue here. That is all." Flynn is so calm, like he is used to me flipping on him. Well, I suppose he is. He's been my shrink for 5 years now.

I take a deep breath counting to 3 and then exhale. I pause for a moment to gather my thoughts and calm down. "As you know, it's been a little while since my last contract with my sub ended. I haven't really felt motivated to get a new one. I just, I don't know, feel bored with them. Like ennui or something."

Flynn is taking notes but he looks up at me. "So, what changed your mind about getting a new one?" And there it is. The million dollar question. Flynn is looking at me expectantly.

"I met a girl." There I said it.

"Is this girl 'in the lifestyle' as you would say?" Flynn is busy taking notes still. It's like he's writing the great American novel about me.

"No. I'm not sure she even knows what the lifestyle is. I'm not even sure she likes me. Actually, I don't think she does." As I say those words, I can feel a hollow area form in my chest. What do I do if Ana doesn't like me?

"Christian, tell me how you met her and what happened to make you feel as if she doesn't like you."

Here it goes. This is where I sound like a complete idiot. "I met her when I was conferring the degrees at University of Washington. As soon as I touched her hand I felt a connection like I have never felt before."

"So, she was a student graduating?" I swear he's looking at me like some perv or something.

"Yes. I didn't know who she was and figured that was it until I found out she's roommates with my brother's girlfriend."

"How do you feel about your brother potentially being close to an aspect of your life you typically don't allow your family into?" I didn't think of that.

"Actually, I didn't think of that. But I wouldn't want him to find out about it. He would think I am some kind of monster." He may be a man-whore but at least Elliot doesn't find joy in beating little brown haired girls and then fucking them hard.

"OK, so this girl…"

"Ana. Her name is Ana."

"OK. So, Ana, how is she different than other girls you have met? You meet a lot of women who are interested in you."

"I don't know. She's beautiful and funny and there's some kind of electrical current that goes through me when we touch."

"And why do you think she doesn't like you? You have a lot to offer someone."

Me, he's joking, right? "Like what? A lifetime supply of baggage and dysfunction?"

"Christian, sarcasm is the lowest form of wit. So, why is it that you think she doesn't like you?"

"I'll remember that. She avoided talking to me and when I asked her out she couldn't get away fast enough. Literally, she slammed the car door in my face." I have his attention now.

"You asked her on a date? An actual date?"

Now he's pissing me off. "Did I stutter, Flynn?"

Flynn looks up from his notes at me. I know he wants to say more, but he won't. "She slammed the door in your face?"

"Yes. I gave her a ride home and asked her out for coffee and she practically jumped out of the car and ran do her apartment."

"Christian, how many times have you talked to her since you met her?" Flynn places his notes down and crosses his legs as if he's a father about to give his son a good talking to.

"Just that time at the party." Where's he going with this?

"Maybe you need to take it slow. You like her and you have a lot to offer a young woman. But you're new to dating. Get to know her. Give it some time. Woo her if you will."

"Woo her? Like hearts and flowers and shit?" I don't know hearts and flowers. I know fucking and whipping.

"Well, I would skip the shit part. Women typically don't like that." Flynn is smirking now at his own joke.

"Someone once told me that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit." He is such an asshole.

Flynn laughs. "He sounds very smart. Anyway Christian, our time is up. If you really like this girl and you want to move further with her give what I said some thought. Ok?"

"Hearts and flowers? That will work?" I hope he's right. I don't know what else to do.

"It worked on Rhian. And she's an intelligent woman."

"She married you so she can't be that smart." Flynn let's out a large guffaw and takes his glasses off.

"Touche. If you need me before our next appointment give a call otherwise I'll see you next week.