Tobias and I freeze in each other's arms at the sound of my dad's voice on the other side of the bathroom door. Fear floods my body making it impossible for me to do anything in this moment except listen to my racing heartbeat in my ears. What if I didn't get the door completely locked, and he's able to come in here and see us the way we are, partially nude and still joined together. I push Tobias away from me, and he pulls his boxer briefs and jeans up and fastens them. He then straightens his clothing the best he can.
"Yeah, Dad," I say, jumping down off the counter. "Just a minute." I pick up my underwear and pants and quickly put them back on while my dad talks to me through the door.
"Jack wanted me to tell you Dr. Zander Parrish is here to pick up the DNA tests," he says. "Beatrice, what's taking you so long in there?" I turn the water on and splash my face trying to get it to return to a normal shade instead of its now bright red while Tobias makes sure we haven't left any evidence of our dalliance behind. If my dad sees me blushing this deeply he's sure to ask about it, and what if the truth serum isn't out of my system all the way. It's bad enough I told them about our engagement, I don't want to tell him that I just had incredible sex with my fiancé in a bathroom in Candor. Oh, my God. I can't believe he let me talk him into that. I make sure I'm presentable, and I lean into Tobias. I still feel a bit wobbly on my feet. Whether it's from the lasting effects of the truth serum or the amazing sex we just had, I don't know. I take a deep breath, plaster a smile on my face, unlock the door, open it then look up into my dad's suspicious eyes.
"Four?" he says. He obviously wasn't expecting us both to be in a bathroom at the same time. "Beatrice, what were you both doing in the bathroom?" Before I can come up with a plausible excuse, Tobias saves me like he always does.
"I'm sorry, Andrew. She wasn't feeling very well after the truth serum and antidote," he says. "I took her to the bathroom so she could clean herself up a little but she's still unsteady on her feet and not feeling well. I wish we didn't have any more business this afternoon so she could go home and lie down. To be honest, I'm worried about her." He says every single word with such conviction that no one could doubt his sincerity. My dad eyes me closely, nonetheless, making me extremely nervous. Does he suspect something? If he did, I imagine he would be screaming at Tobias right now.
"You look flushed, honey," he says. "Are you sure you're alright?"
"I'm fine, Dad," I say. "I promise. Where's Dr. Parrish at?"
"He's downstairs in the lobby waiting on you," he says. God that was a close one.
Tobias takes my hand in his, and we head out of the vacant office, down the hallway, and into the interrogation room. We stop and my dad pick up the two sealed DNA kits to give to Dr. Parrish. I'm glad they're still here and still sealed. This is very important evidence, and I can't believe we all forgot about them when I went under the truth serum.
Tobias wasn't lying when he told Jack he knew his way back to the elevators. We walk hand-in-hand through the nondescript hallways that all look the same to me but he doesn't once get us lost. Even my dad seems impressed. When we reach the elevator, Tobias hits the button by the "L," which I assume represents lobby. A wave of nausea sweeps over me, and I double over. Maybe Tobias' explanation to my dad wasn't a boldfaced lie after all.
"Tris, are you okay?" Tobias says, worry in his voice, at the same time my dad says, "Beatrice? What's wrong?"
"I think I'm just hungry," I say taking slow, deep breaths in and out through my mouth trying to make sure I don't get sick. "We ate breakfast really early this morning, and I'm starving." I bury my face in Tobias' side, and he wraps his arm around me. It doesn't take us long to reach the lobby.
"Dr. Parrish," Tobias says. "Thanks for coming on such short notice. Here are the DNA tests." My dad hands them to the doctor, and he places them in his bag.
"Are you alright?" Dr. Parrish asks taking in my appearance.
"She was put under truth serum this morning," Dad says. "Now she isn't feeling well."
"Please sit down, Tris," Dr. Parrish says.
"It's fine," I say. "Four and I ate shortly after you left this morning, and I haven't had anything since them. I'm just hungry."
"Tris," he says in an authoritative voice. "Sit." I do as the good doctor says. My dad and Tobias hover behind me making me even more nervous.
"Dad, Four. Please go to the cafeteria and get yourselves something to eat," I tell them. "If Dr. Parrish is going to examine me in the lobby of Candor, I'd rather not have a lot of people hanging around watching."
"I'm not going anywhere," Tobias says sounding like Four.
"Please," I say. "For me?" He looks at me for a long while.
"I just can't tell you no," he says. "I love you."
"I love you, too," I say to him. "Dad, please take him to the cafeteria with you, and make sure he gets something to eat. I'll be there as soon as I can." They turn and walk over to the desk and soon a young blonde-haired girl takes them down another black and white hallway. I know what Candor reminds me of, some of the old movies Tobias has. There isn't any color.
"Do you know anything about the truth serum?" I ask Dr. Parrish while he is shining a light in my eyes. "Could I be having a reaction to it? Jack and Niles said they used a stronger version than they normally do since Jason withheld from answering for so long that he passed out. They wanted to make sure it didn't happen again."
"Why were you under truth serum, Tris?" he asks while feeling along on my neck. "Usually only criminals or initiates have to go under truth serum." I covertly look around the room for people watching us or cameras aimed our direction. There doesn't appear to be any but I elect to be careful anyway.
"I was just dispelling a myth," I say while he is taking my pulse. "Your brother told them my name was on the list." His eyes widen in understanding. He doesn't ask any more questions regarding Divergents.
"What did you learn from Asher?" he asks taking a stethoscope out of his bag. He listens to my lungs before I continue.
"Quite a lot actually," I say. "Hey did you by chance check our DNAs to see if somehow they matched?"
"No I didn't but I know for a fact they don't. My DNA only matched the one unknown sample we have left for the person who attacked Hana and no one else's. Your DNA matched the person who killed Amar, George, and Ivy and attacked Daniel and Hana. Why are you asking that?"
"Asher says that Cameron is his son," I say. "Dru told him that and more than likely Cameron also. I probably shouldn't tell you anything more but once we have the full picture, I'll come to the infirmary and tell you everything you need to know."
"Thank you, Tris," he says putting away his stethoscope. "I believe you're dehydrated. Go get something to drink and some food." He leans in and adds quietly, "I would also abstain from sexual activity right after you go under a serum from now on." All I can do is sit here and stare openmouthed at him while a blush once again colors my face.
"What?" I force myself to ask.
"I've come to know Dauntless' two fearless leaders extremely well," he says with a warm smile spreading across his lips. "You two seem to have a ... special appetite ... when things get ... daunting." I am so embarrassed right now.
"But how did you know?" I whisper. "Can you tell?"
"It was just a guess," he says. I bury my head in my hands. "Don't be embarrassed, Tris. You two have a powerful connection I've witnessed regularly since the night you were brought into the infirmary after your fall, and a lot of people with that kind of connection look for sexual gratification after being in tense situations. It's only natural. Sex is life affirming. Just watch yourself, okay?" I nod my head at him. He actually makes sense to me.
"Did anyone tell you Dru, Nathan, and Callen Wright are on their way here, and we'd like you to stay to gather their DNA?" I ask Dr. Parrish once I can form a full sentence.
"Yes," he says. "I believe he said his name was Jack Kang."
"In that case," I say, "would you like to accompany me to the cafeteria and get some lunch?"
"That would be nice, Tris," he says. We walk over to the desk, and the woman calls on the same young blond haired girl to take us to the cafeteria. It isn't a long walk, which I'm thankful for. I'm still a little lightheaded and have to ask Dr. Parrish if he can help me. He obliges by offering me his arm. I take it and thank him profusely. We walk into the black and white cafeteria and a sea of Candor turn our way. My eyes search for Tobias and find him sitting at a table with my parents and Caleb. When his eyes meet mine, he gets up immediately and comes to help me go through the serving line. He thanks Dr. Parrish and immediately puts his arm around me, steadying me.
"Are you okay?" he asks.
"Dr. Parrish thinks I'm dehydrated," I say. I look around to make sure no one is listening to us. I shyly look up into his eyes. "Dr. Parrish figured it out." He looks at me for a moment not knowing what I'm getting at when his eyes widen and I just nod at him. Color rises in his cheeks.
"How?" he says.
"He guessed," I say. "He said something like we are passionate people who gravitate toward one another when a stressful situation hits. If you think about it, he's right."
"For the record, I didn't think it was the greatest idea you've ever had but when you look at me like you did and then beg ... you intoxicate me," he says with intensity in his eyes. "I just can't tell you no. I don't know how."
"That might not be the best thing in the world, Four," I say.
"I love you," he says matter-of-factly. "If you want something, I'm going to give it to you even if it's totally irrational and quite possibly stupid." I can't stop myself from laughing at him.
"I love you," I quietly say.
He gets me a plate with fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, green beans, and chunky cooked apples. Candor has food similar to Dauntless but they don't have cake. He firmly carries the plate in one hand while his other is making sure I don't fall over. We sit down across from my parents, and I dig in while he pours me a glass of water from the communal pitchers on the table. Once I get food and water in my system, I start to feel much better. I introduce Dr. Parrish to my parents and Caleb. He and my mom reminisce about growing up in Dauntless with Nathan.
"You look better, Beatrice," my dad says after a while.
"I feel so much better," I say. "Dr. Parrish said I was dehydrated." I look around and see curious eyes penetrating me. I push my empty plate away and pour myself another glass of water.
"I owe you all an apology," I say to my parents and Caleb.
"We owe you an apology," Tobias adds taking my hand in his.
"Should I leave," Dr. Parrish asks.
"It isn't necessary," I say to him. "I gave away a secret while I was under the truth serum. It isn't anything you can't hear. Please stay."
"Andrew, Natalie, Caleb," Tobias says looking at each one of them in turn. "I asked Tris to marry me last night, and she made me the happiest man in the world by saying yes." He looks me in the eyes and raises our joined hands and kisses my ring. "We wanted to come to each of you and tell you our good news. You shouldn't have heard it the way you did."
"It wasn't our intention to keep it a secret," I say. "We just didn't think a leaders' meeting in Candor was the appropriate setting."
"I'm very happy for the both of you," my mom says with tears shining in her eyes. "I could tell how much you meant to the other on visitation day." That surprises me. We weren't together on visitation day, not even close.
"We weren't even dating then," I say.
"And I was horribly rude to you," Tobias says. "I don't know how you have forgiven me yet."
"Four, you were protecting your identity but it wasn't really necessary," she says. "The moment I looked into your eyes, I knew who you were. I'm sorry I made you think I would give away your secret." I look into Dr. Parrish's eyes expecting to see confusion but there are no emotions on his face.
"I'm afraid I already know Four's secret," he says. "I've seen his full name on some of his medical records. Don't worry. His secret's safe with me." They are, just like his secrets are safe with us. I can't help but smile at him.
"The way you two looked at each other," Mom says, "told me everything I needed to know. You were falling in love with each other then in case you didn't know it." Tobias and I look into each other's eyes. Is she right?
"When are you getting married," my dad says, dragging my attention away from Tobias, his voice stern.
"We decided on April 6," Tobias says smiling at our inside joke as I pour myself another glass of water. The truth serum must have made me extremely thirsty.
"Do you have something else to say, Dad?" I ask, examining his face, bracing myself for his wrath.
"I have a lot to say, Beatrice," he says but my mom interrupts him.
"Andrew, don't you remember when we were Beatrice's age?" she asks. "We'd been dating for two years."
"Two years!" Caleb and I say at the same time, shocked. That means they started dating at 14. I wonder what they were like outside Abnegation. This new information is mind blowing.
"Yes," she says. "Two years. If we would have joined Amity, Candor, Erudite, or Dauntless, we would have been married right away. Even though we both knew exactly what we wanted, Abnegation rules made us wait until we were both past 18½ years of age. That was a very long two years ... for both of us." My mom is looking at my dad like I look at Tobias. She must really love him.
"It's not the same, Natalie. She's too young," my Dad says stubbornly. "She hasn't experienced everything life has to offer outside of falling in love with the first boy who turned her head."
"Four isn't the first boy who I thought I would marry," I say bashfully. All eyes at our table turn my way, looking astonished. I look up at Tobias, and his expression is beyond astonished, he looks devastated. We promised each other no more secrets. I have to explain to him that I'm not keeping a colossal secret and carrying a torch for someone else. "I am so sorry I never told you this but, honestly, until right now, it never even crossed my mind.
"My last year in Abnegation I spent exchanging glances with Robert Black. I had my life planned out as well as several other people's lives. I would marry Robert and Caleb would marry Susan, Robert's sister, and our lives in Abnegation would mirror that of my parents. There was so much I didn't know at that time, especially about myself. I'm sorry, Four."
"Robert Black? Is that the kid you spoke to when we were touring the fence?" he asks. I'd forgotten all about that. I'm surprised he remembers.
"Yeah," I say. "It was."
"He liked you," he says, no emotion in his voice. "I could tell by the way he spoke to you and held you in his arms. I imagine if you two had ended up in the same faction, your life would have turned out exactly the way you planned."
"How do you know what happened between Robert and me at the fence?" I ask sensing his increasing irritation at my announcement. "You had your back to us talking to some girl?" Oh great. Now my irritation is growing. I have to calm myself down.
"How do you know that?" he asks. I sigh.
"I never loved Robert. I never really had any affection for him at all," I say instead of answering his question. "I had two fears before I took my aptitude test. The first was that it would tell me I needed to leave Abnegation and my family behind. The second was that it would tell me I needed to stay in Abnegation where I didn't think I belonged. I've always thought I didn't have my mind made up about which faction to choose until my blood hit the hot coals but ... that's a lie. A lie I've been telling myself and others to get over the guilty feelings of leaving Mom and Dad behind in Abnegation, especially after Caleb had just left for Erudite. I always knew I was going to join Dauntless. It was born in me.
"So you see, Robert was part of a fantasy life for a person who didn't even exist: Perfect, selfless, and frightened Beatrice who was going to do what everyone else wanted her to do even if that meant marrying someone she didn't love just so she could live a selfless life like her parents did. A life she didn't want. That wasn't me but at the time I didn't know that.
"It took leaving all I knew behind to realize who I am and what I want. I'm flawed, selfish, and brave, and I love you more than I ever thought was possible to love another person. You are my everything. I didn't even know what love was until I found you, Tobias." I whisper his name just as a single tear escapes and slowly moves down my cheek. He takes me in his arms. I don't even care that we've captured the attention of all the neighboring tables.
"I'm sorry I got angry," he whispers in my ear. "I didn't like hearing you thought about marrying someone other than me. It hurt." I pull back from him and look into his eyes.
"You were jealous the day we were at the fence, and Robert came to talk to me," I say. It's a statement, not a question. "That's why you told me I was making unwise decisions."
"Even then, I didn't like seeing you with someone else not when in my heart I knew we belonged together."
"I'm sorry," my Dad says, interrupting us. "It seems I keep underestimating the two of you. You seem so much older than 16, Beatrice. By the way, you may be flawed, selfish, and brave but you are also selfless and perfect in my eyes."
"Mine, too," Tobias says under his breath.
"You two have a connection I haven't seen before, not even in your mother and me. I told you the last time I saw you that you have my blessing and I meant it. I'm just sorry I didn't react better upon first hearing my baby's getting married." My eyes narrow at this.
"What do you mean you didn't react well when you heard the news?" I say. I was under truth serum and everyone but Niles was behind me. I remember something happening but I have no idea what it is. Mom, Dad, Caleb, and Tobias have sheepish looks on their faces, and Dr. Parrish looks slightly embarrassed to be caught up in the middle of family drama.
"I hit Four in the jaw," my dad says. What? My perfect Abnegation father hit Tobias? Violence is considered selfish in Abnegation. Why would he do that?
"Why?" I demand.
"I ... don't ... know," he slowly says.
"That isn't an answer, Dad," I say.
"It's okay," Tobias says.
"No ... no, it's not okay," I say. God! My dad and I both have hit Tobias today. "I want you to apologize to Four ... right now."
"He already has," Tobias says. "That's why I didn't say anything. It's water under the bridge." I just stare at them both.
"I reacted the way I think any father would react when learning his baby is getting married," he says.
"I beg to differ," I say. "Not every father assaults his future son-in-law upon hearing his daughter's getting married." Tobias better never physically attack our daughter's fiancé. That thought makes me think of something else.
"Should we tell them the rest of our news?" I whisper to Tobias. I don't want them finding out they're going to be grandparents in a few short months from anyone but us.
"Drusilla Wright was just brought in," Jack says over my shoulder, interrupting my question. "Her interrogation will begin in 15 minutes."