Chapter 15: Three Little Words

CPOV

"John, I don't know what's going on. When I saw Ana lying there on the ground sobbing, waves of emotion that I have never felt came over me. I was mad at Hyde for doing this to her. I was mad at myself for letting it happen. I felt so scared when I saw her. All I want to do is keep her safe and make her happy."

John gives me an arrogant smile, "Christian, I know exactly what your problem is."

"Are you going to tell me or are you going to make me sit here so you can charge me more?"

He laughs out loud at that. "Christian, you're in love. You love Anastasia. You've probably been feeling like this for a while but it took what happened to Ana for those emotions to come to the surface."

"Don't be ridiculous, John. Now I think you're the one who needs a shrink. Someone like me can't fall in love. It's not possible." I'm a monster. Monsters don't love.

"Christian, think about it. From the time you met Ana you've been changing yourself for her. Not because she asked you but because you wanted to. Of course it's possible. You've built these huge walls up around yourself for your whole life. And this young woman has been tearing them down. You wouldn't allow that to happen if you didn't love her."

Is it true? Do I love Anastasia Steele? I think I do. I have never felt the way I feel about her with anyone else before. "So now what?"

"Christian, I can't answer that for you. It's uncharted territory. I think you're just going to have to take this thing head on."

APOV

It's been a week since the incident with Hyde. My bruises are fading but I still get nightmares. Christian won't let me return to work right now so I've been staying at Escala so he can keep an eye on me.

At first he was so sweet and attentive. But for the past couple of days he's been leaving for work early and staying late. When I do see him he seems cold and distant. He won't kiss me let alone be intimate with me. He's tried to hide it but I know he's been to see Dr. Flynn a few times.

The other night he thought I was sleeping but I heard him talking to Elena. He seemed frustrated. I don't want to be a burden to him. I'm fine now physically and I'm sure having to take care of me reminded him of how easy his life was before he met me.

I don't have anything to offer him. Nothing. Plus he can get any number of women who look like me to have sex with. And I'm sure they'd be willing to go into his playroom.

He feels guilty. I was almost raped and I lost my virginity to him. He probably wants out and feels bad about it.

It's Tuesday afternoon and I get a call from him.

"Hello?"

"Hey baby. How are you feeling?"

"I'm feeling good. I can probably return to work soon."

"No you can't. Not yet. Anyway the reason why I'm calling is that I have to go to Olympia about some property GEH is purchasing and I'll be staying overnight. I'll be home some time tomorrow."

"Oh, OK."

"Are you OK, Ana?" He can always tell what I'm thinking.

"Yeah, totally. I hope the meeting goes well. Talk to you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow, Anastasia."

Olympia is only an hour away. Why would he be staying overnight? So now he's making up overnight meetings so he doesn't have to see me. Before I get anymore invested in this I'm going to end it. He's probably found someone he wants. I don't want this to be like Matt again. I looked like an idiot for years because I thought he loved me and was faithful. That's not going to happen again.

Kate's been staying at Elliot's so if I go there I won't have to explain everything right now. It'll give me time to wrap my head around this. I walk to the kitchen to get some water and Gail is in there. "Hi Miss Steele. How are you feeling today? I'm about to go to the market, do you need anything?"

"Gail, please, it's Ana and I'm fine thank you."

Gail leaves and I realize no one is here. I'm alone. Now it's my chance. I grab my overnight bag and throw the few things I brought with me in there. Just some clothes and my laptop and the current novel I'm reading. I get down to the garage, hop in my car, look around one last time, and I leave. I'm taking my life back into my own hands. As I drive away the tears start to flow. I thought he was different, that what we had was different. I'm just going to go home and lick my wounds.

Once I'm back to the apartment I call Jose. I need someone to talk to who won't judge me. I get his voice mail and leave him a message to stop by. Until he comes over I'm going to sit in my room and read. That should get my mind off of Christian.

CPOV

Why is Gail calling me? It's about dinner time and she should be going off duty soon.

"Gail, is everything OK?"

"Um, sir, have you spoken with Miss Steele in the last couple of hours?" Gail sounds upset and this worries me.

"I haven't spoken with her since lunch. Why?" What has happened to Ana? I'm trying to breathe deeply and not freak out.

"Well, Mr. Grey, I think she left."

"Left? What do you mean, left?" Taylor overhears my conversation and pulls the car over.

"I went to the market and she was here but when I came back she was gone."

"Maybe she just went to run errands or something."

"I don't think so, sir. All of her things are gone."

"Shit! Taylor head back to Seattle now!"

"Gail, can you stay there in case she comes back?"

"Of course. Let me know if you need anything, Mr. Grey."

Next I call Jose. That's who she goes to when she's upset.

"Hello?"

"Jose, it's Christian Grey."

"Oh, hi." Jose sounds confused. I don't call him.

"By any chance, is Ana with you?"

"No, but she left me a voice mail asking if I could stop over at her apartment."

"When was this?"

"Maybe a couple of hours. Why? What's going on?"

"I don't have time to explain. Thanks Jose." With that I hang up the phone.

"Taylor, head to Miss Steele's apartment as fast as possible."

"Yes, sir."

APOV

There's a knock at the door, Jose must have gotten my voice mail. I open the door and there stands Christian. I'm shocked. I can't say anything. He pushes his way in. "You're leaving me, Ana?" He runs his hands through his hair. A gesture meaning he's frustrated and upset that I've grown to find endearing.

Tears well up in my eyes and my voice cracks. I hadn't planned on this. "I didn't want to be a burden on you. I don't want you to feel guilty."

"Guilty for what?" His brow crinkles like he really doesn't know what I'm talking about.

"I know I can't be enough for you. You can have any woman you want. And I'm just little Ana Steele from Montesano who was a virgin up until a few weeks ago. And you, you're enigmatic, cultured, intelligent, and you have needs. How can I compete with that?"

"Wait a second. Do you think that because of me being your first and what happened with… that asshole, that I am staying with you put off guilt?"

I bite my lip. I know if I go to say something the dam will break and I'll start to cry. So, I just nod.

"Baby, you don't need to compete. You've already won. You were the only one ever in the race."

Now I'm confused and he can see it on my face.

He closes his eyes for a second and when he opens them his whole face softens, "Anastasia Rose Steele I love you."

I'm unable to speak. This must be a dream. "You what?" I must have heard him wrong.

He comes up to me and takes me into his arms and lifts me so he can look into my eyes. "I love you. You, you're the one who owns my heart. It took what happened for me to realize that."

I can't hold it in anymore and I start to cry. "Oh, Christian, I love you too." And he kisses me passionately but gently with reverence - with love.

And there, on the living room floor we make love. We make real love.

After, we're lying on the floor trying to catch our breathe and contain or thoughts. "Ana, come home with me tonight. I don't ever want you to leave me again." The emotions in his eyes as he says this are so visible. This is the scared little boy not the commanding CEO.

"OK. Let me get my things and I can drive us back to Escala." I go to get up and get the bag that I hadn't even unpacked.

"Ana, two things: one, Taylor has been waiting outside since I got here, and two, you are never driving that death trap again."