Chapter 9: Just a Dream

I was counting on forever, now, I'll never know.

I can't even breathe.

It's like I'm looking from a distance,

Standing in the background.

Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now.

This can't be happening to me.

This is just a dream.

- Carrie Underwood

"SAM!" Shelby's gut-wrenching, hoarse scream sent the hair on Sam's neck into the air. He rushed downstairs. What he came to was not good. The rawhead was lying in a puddle of water, destroyed. Shelby had dragged Dean out of the water and was huddled over him, rocking back and forth rapidly. She was crying hysterically.

"Ca- call an ambulance. Now! He got elect- electrocuted." She cried. Sam fumbled for his phone. His fingers shook as he dialed the three numbers he had never hoped to need.

This is not happening. Shelby repeated this mantra in her head the entire ride to the hospital. She was seated in the far corner of the ambulance. Elbows on her knees and head in her hands. She was still crying. She tried to calm down, but watching the EMT's poke and prod Dean kept the waterworks coming. She half regretted not riding with Sam in the Impala. No, she wouldn't, couldn't leave Dean's side right now. Not until she knew he was okay.

Shelby was seated in the uncomfortable hospital chair next to Dean's bed. She had fallen asleep nearly three hours ago. Sam stood by the door watching her snore quietly. The doctor assigned to Dean's care cleared his throat behind Sam. Shelby didn't move. Sam sighed and turned around to face the young doctor. He motioned for Sam to close the door. Following the doctor out into the hallway, Sam wiped his sweaty hands on his dirty blue jeans.

"Mr. Berkowitz, I have some news. I can't say it's what you want to hear." Sam's stomach dropped. He turned away from the doctor and looked through the small sliver of a window into Dean's room. He stared at Shelby while the doctor spoke.

"- is try to make him comfortable." Sam turned around to face the doctor again as he finished. He nodded his head numbly. What was he going to do? How was he going to tell Shelby? He did not want to lose his brother. They hadn't found their dad yet and Dean was the only real family he had left. Shelby and Bobby would always be there for him but it would never be Dean.

"Thanks, Doc." The doctor nodded and walked away. Sam took in a deep breath. He opened the hospital room door and walked up behind Shelby. He tapped her shoulder lightly and grabbed her arm when she jumped awake. She turned towards him with red cheeks and swollen eyes. Sam frowned at the sight. His heart broke. He didn't want to speak these words out loud. Maybe if he didn't say them they wouldn't be true.

"Shelby, listen. When Dean got hit with that charge... He, it-"

"He's gonna die isn't he?" Sam sucked in a big breath. She made what he didn't want to say a little easier.

"The doctor didn't say that. He just said-"

"Yeah, keep him comfortable. Blah, blah, blah. I've seen the movies, read the books." Sam looked at his shoes, he didn't know what to say..

"What am I gonna do, Sammy? I thought he was gonna be here, ya know? Forever. I don't know now. I'll never know what could have been. I mean, I guess I should have expected this. We are hunters. We don't exactly live forever." Shelby turned back towards Dean and grabbed his hand again. Sam still didn't know what to say. He wanted to be there for Shelby. This was his chance. He pulled Shelby out of her seat. She turned into Sam and wept. He hugged her tightly. He didn't want Dean to die. But, Shelby. No, Sam, stop it. This isn't how he wanted things to end up. He pressed a kiss into her matted brown hair and ran circles along her spine, trying to comfort her.

"Hey, now. Just cause I'm dyin' don't mean you get to steal my girl. At least wait till I'm six foot under." Shelby yanked herself out of Sam's arms and flung herself onto Dean, hugging him tightly and peppering kisses all over his pale face. Dean kissed her back weakly.

"Baby, you're not going to die. You'll be fine. You just need to rest for a week or so."

"Don't sugar-coat it Princess. I can feel it. I can tell by my little brothers face over there. I'm not gonna come outta this alive." He lifted his hand and grabbed Shelby's cheek. She leaned into his touch.

"I love you, Shelby." Shelby's heart clenched. No nicknames this time.

"I love you too, Dean." They smiled at each other. Dean let his hand fall back to his side and closed his eyes. He was so tired. Shelby ran her hand softly over his features. He was so pale. He had dark circles under his eyes and it looked like his cheek bones stuck out a mile from his skull. She turned her head up to Sam, her eyes welling up with tears again.

"Shelby, maybe we should let Dean rest. We need to head back to the motel and clean stuff up from the hunt." Shelby nodded and kissed Dean one more time before standing up and following Sam out of the pale hospital room.

"Sam, we can't give up on him. There has to be something out there that can fix him. I mean, come on, look at the world we live in!" Sam clenched his jaw and shuffled his feet a bit. Shelby paced back and forth a few steps before clearing her face of the tears. When she removed her hands, a look of determination graced her features.

"I'm calling Bobby. You need to call your father."

"Shelby,-"

"Now Sam. I'll drive." Shelby grabbed the keys to the Impala out of Sam's coat pocket and headed down the hallway, following the EXIT signs. She stopped a nurse and asked her to put on 'The Three Stooges' for when Dean woke up. The woman asked if Shelby wanted to leave a message for him, she declined. The television show would be enough. She informed the nurse they'd be back later and didn't wait for Sam to follow. A few minutes later he clambered into the car and buckled his seat-belt.

"Sam, we are going to fix this. Okay? He is not going to die. I will stop at nothing to save him, even if it means-"

"Shelby, don't. You're not going to even go there. I won't let you." Shelby steeled herself and looked ahead at the hospital entrance.

"Then you need to get your shit together and help me figure this out."

-TOL-

"Thanks Bobby. I'll let you know how it goes." Shelby hung up the phone. It was late. They still hadn't gone back to the hospital to check up on Dean. Shelby was scared. She didn't want to face him. If she didn't see him, he was just off on a hunt with John. Shelby had to stay back with Sam to help him with homework. Yeah, let's go with that for a while.

Sam walked out of the bathroom, still in the clothes he was in two days ago. Shelby looked down at her own wardrobe. She hadn't changed in two days either. Not since, Stop it, Shelby. Now!

"My dad didn't answer." No answer, Dean and him must have run into some trouble. No biggie, they could handle it. She was trying so hard to think back to their high school years. It wasn't working. She looked back down at her dirty yellow tank top and dark blue jean shorts. Black gunk was splattered all over it and her favorite boots had a tear in the leather at the top. The rawhead had thrown her into the wall, a huge splinter tore into her leg and boot. The nurses had tended to the gash after they got Dean settled.

"I need to shower. I smell like I live in a sewer." Sam smiled slightly at her joke. She was just like his brother. Always making jokes at the most inappropriate times.

"Did Bobby have anything?" Shelby was pulling a clean pair of pants out of her duffel. She shuffled over to Dean's bag and pulled out a gray three-quarter length shirt out of it. She held onto it tightly.

"Yeah, actually. He caught wind of some kind of 'Faith Healer' in Nebraska. Some Reverend out there curing blindness and helping the crippled walk. Bobby wasn't too sure about him but the eye-witness accounts speak for themselves." Shelby walked over to the vanity mirror on the other side of the room and removed her stud earrings and other jewelry. She kept twirling her garnet heart ring over and over again.

"Dean isn't one for religion, so we're gonna have to keep this under wraps till we pull up. I don't know if this guy is the real deal or not, but if there's a God, this guy is in good with him. And I'm praying he can help Dean." Shelby grabbed a towel from the tiny closet and headed for the bathroom. Sam sat down at the kitchenette counter. He did believe in God, he knew Shelby did. She used to talk to him all the time about it. Her dad and mom didn't believe. She knew there had to be someone out there. Sam agreed with her. He tried to pray everyday. Dean used to make fun of him for it. Shelby nipped that joke in the bud real quick. Dean stopped the teasing when Shelby explained her beliefs to him, but he still never agreed with Shelby and Sam's point of view on things.

-TOL-

Shelby took her time in the shower. She wanted to prepare herself for checking Dean out of the hospital and driving seven hours to Nebraska to put the life of the man she loves into God's hands. She was scared. She trusted herself to keep Dean safe, to keep her whole family safe. Yeah, like that always worked out for the better. She finished rinsing her hair and turned the water off. Shelby stuck her hand out from behind the curtain. Instead of her hand landing on a towel, it smacked into a bare chest. Shelby pulled back and screamed. She could hear Dean's chuckle from behind the curtain.

"Calm down Princess. I was just trying to catch you before you finished." Dean pulled the flower-patterned pink curtain back to reveal a dripping Shelby. She had her arms crossed over her chest. Dean leaned in a bit and grabbed her wet arm. He pulled her out of the tub. She slipped on the wet tile and down they went. Shelby landed on top of Dean hard. She looked down at him. He was clad only in his snug-fitted boxers and smug smile. Shelby glared at him.

"Too late for that Hot-Shot. How did you get out of the hospital?" Shelby questioned. She sat up and crossed her arms over her chest again. She was not happy with Dean. His smirk grew as he pulled her arms apart, revealing her gracious chest to Dean's ever-paling green eyes.

"Doesn't matter." Shelby rolled her eyes at the man underneath her. How was she ever going to get him under control? Dean let go of her arms and rested his hands on her wet hips. Eyes ogling her naked body.

"Dean, we don't have time for this."

"We have just enough time, baby."

"You're not strong enough." Shelby didn't want to overexert Dean. Who knew how long his heart would really last? Could it handle waiting to see this Faith Healer? Would it give out when he found out what they were dragging him to Nebraska for?

"I'm as strong as I need to be." Dean seemingly ended that conversation when he reached up and latched onto Shelby's left nipple with his soft lips. She groaned quietly as one free hand cupped her right breast and the other slid back to her ass. What was she thinking about again? Why was this a bad thing? Dean's hot tongue glided softly over her breast and Shelby groaned again. Dean gripped hard on her ass and pulled her roughly against his now wet boxers. Shelby could feel his erection pulling against the blue fabric. Dean and Shelby's small moans echoed throughout the small bathroom. After Shelby ground her hips against Dean's a few more times, Dean trailed his hand from her ass to her clit. Shelby sucked in a deep breath when Dean started to rub softly. He knew exactly where all her buttons were. She hated it. Weren't they supposed to be doing something else?

"GUYS. I can hear you. Shelby, uh, if we want to make that appointment tomorrow, we need to leave like ten minutes ago." At Sam's voice, Dean's head popped up to Shelby's eye level.

"What appointment?" Dean asked, not stopping his other movements. Shelby opened her eyes and Dean stared at her dark, lust-filled green eyes for a moment. He moved a finger over her slick folds to grab her attention. She gasped.

"Wha- what appointment? Oh, yeah. Um. There's a guy in uh, Nebraska. He's a specialist in uh, what we need." Dean stopped what he was doing. She wasn't giving up, was she? Why couldn't she just accept this? Shelby seemed to realize Dean had stopped. She hated when he distracted her. He knew exactly what he was doing. She stood up quickly and wrapped her arms around herself. She felt dirty. How could she be enjoying that while Dean was underneath her dying? She felt sick. Dean used the bathtub side to stand up. He handed Shelby a pink towel. She wrapped it tightly around herself.

"Yeah, okay Sam. We'll be ready in a few." Shelby answered. Dean could hear the tears in her voice. He turned her around to face him. Her tan skin was still wet from the shower. She had started shivering. Or was it just from her starting to cry? Dean frowned towards her. Shelby slammed herself into Dean and hugged him tightly. He hugged back as tightly as he could. They could both tell it wasn't as strong as he should have been able to.

"I need you, Dean."

"You almost had me down there. Till SOMEONE interrupted!" Dean finished that sentence loudly to make sure Sam had heard it. Shelby shook her head into Dean's chest.

"I need you strong Dean. I need you to be here for me, and Sam. We need you healthy and able to stay with us. I am not okay with this. You might be, but I'm not standing in the background while doctors tell me you're not going to come out of this alive. It's not gonna happen." Dean sighed and shoved his pale face into Shelby's wet, almost black hair.

"I know baby." He whispered. He didn't want to go out like this. He expected to die at the hands of a monster, or at the end of gun barrel. He really wanted to go out at ninety-five in bed, with Shelby by his side. Who was he kidding? He was a hunter. He hugged her tighter. She wasn't giving up on him. Would he give up on her if the roles were switched? No. He would never give up on her.

Dean closed his eyes tightly. He had barely lived his life with Shelby. He knew her views on their lifestyle. She never thought they'd get out. Maybe this would be a wake up call for her? Maybe after they saw this specialist and got him fixed, she would come around. He wanted that apple-pie life with her. Dean pictured Shelby in a white gown, walking down the aisle. He pictured her looking up at him with his ring on her finger and a slight bump growing underneath her shirt. He saw her with a baby on her hip and another on the way. Her slapping him in the shoulder when he tried to teach their kid a new curse word, then laughing with him when it worked. Dean shook his head. There was so much more he wanted for Shelby, so much more that she deserved. He couldn't give that to her if he was dead.

"I love you Shelby. I don't want to leave you alone. Especially with my baby brother here to save you after I keel over." He could feel Shelby laugh a little against his bare chest. He let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding.

"Always the joker. Somehow I still love you. Possibly more and more every day." Dean smiled down at Shelby and kissed her wet lips softly. He would do this, for his girl.

-TOL-

Shelby took a deep breath as she pulled the Impala into the makeshift parking lot. Dean had fallen asleep a few hours ago. Sam put his hand on Shelby's thigh and squeezed tightly. She looked over to him with tear-filled eyes. This was it. If this guy didn't help them, then she was headed down a road that Sam didn't want her to go down. Dean would never find out, not till ten years later, after she was dead. She would make Sam swear it.

"It's gonna be okay." Shelby smiled softly and nodded her head. She grabbed her favorite red beanie and tugged it on. She hadn't had time to brush her hair out yet. She checked the mirror and smoothed down Dean's long-sleeved shirt she had put on after her shower that morning.

"Yeah. I hope so Sammy." Shelby twirled her garnet heart ring around on her finger for a second before clearing her throat and turning to the back seat to wake Dean up.

"Faith Healer?!" Dean scoffed. Shelby smacked him on the arm, hard. She knew what his reaction would be when they pulled up. She rolled her eyes while she listened to the brothers go back and forth. There were many people here, young and old. Some she could tell were sick, others looked like they could run a marathon. Shelby stopped outside of the tent entrance. The boys were still bickering back and forth. Dean was going on about all the things they knew to be real. She steeled herself. She had Faith. She believed there was a God out there. But what she heard Dean saying was true. They had never seen any Godly act. Out of all the hunts they had... Shelby frowned. Was she doing the right thing? Was dragging Dean here a good idea? Should she just let him live out his last weeks in peace? Be by his side and make him as happy as she could? Or should she just leave him here while she went out and sold her soul? Would he know what she did? Even if she made Sam swear not to tell?

"Having doubts?" A soft female voice drifted up towards Shelby. She looked down slightly at a pretty blonde woman standing under a black umbrella.

"I don't know. Maybe? I didn't grow up in a Faith-based family. I always had to believe in Him alone. Now I really need Him to save someone I love and I don't know if I have enough Faith for the both of us." The woman smiled kindly up at Shelby.

"Well, maybe you do. God does work in mysterious ways." Shelby smiled. She liked this woman. The brunette held her hand out to the blonde and introduced herself.

"Shelby. These blubbering idiots behind me are Sam and Dean." The boys stopped arguing when they heard Shelby's voice over their own. The slightly older woman shook Shelby's hand lightly.

"Layla. Nice to meet you. Here, let me show you folks in. My mother saved a row in front." Layla turned and led the trio into the dirty white tent. Shelby looked at Layla's heels. How was that woman walking so graciously in the muddy grass? She had belted, short cowgirl boots on and was having trouble sinking in the mud. Couldn't they have this shindig in a church? Dean shook Shelby from her trivial thoughts.

"I'm not sitting in front."

"Yes you are, Dean. I know you don't Believe, but I need you to do this. Please. For me." She turned around with tears in her eyes. Dean shut his mouth and swallowed any retort he had been thinking of. Sam slid in next to Layla and her mother while Shelby left the aisle seat to Dean. He rolled his eyes but said nothing.

The Reverend started his sermon. Dean was looking around at all the other people. Some were in wheelchairs and others had no hair. One young girl was breathing from an oxygen tank. Out of all these people, would this guy actually choose him? With all the things he had done, did he really deserve to be saved? He turned his attention back to the Reverend in time to scoff at something he said. After a few back and forth quips and a hard shove from Shelby, Dean was making his way up to the plywood stage.

The Reverend was talking next to Dean. Sam looked around the makeshift Church. On the crude stage, behind Dean, was a familiar cross with a circle around it. He had seen that same symbol somewhere before. He couldn't quite remember where. He nudged Shelby softly. She ignored him, the girl was clutching Dean's leather jacket in her tan hands and hanging onto every word the Reverend said. Sam nudged her again, slightly harder this time, and gained her attention. Shelby looked sharply at the youngest brother.

"What?" She hissed quietly.

"Does that cross look familiar to you?" Sam nodded his head to the strange cross. Shelby looked quickly before shaking her head.

"No. Why?"

"I've just seen it somewhere before. I can't remember what it means. It's not in the Bible." Shelby looked at Sam. She shook her head lightly.

"It can be from Satan's diary and I wouldn't care right now honestly." Shelby whispered to the man. Sam frowned. She went back to ignoring him and looked back at Dean on the stage. In the short time she had been distracted, Dean went from standing shakily to lying on the stage. Shelby gasped and ran up to him. The Reverend had removed his hand from Dean's head and stood up, smiling. Dean looked up at the blind man for a second before he felt Shelby's clammy hands pulling his head in towards her chest. He felt her hot tears fall on his face.

"Baby, are you okay? Dean. Hey look at me. Are you okay?" Shelby's crying voice brought him back to reality. He could have swore he saw-

"Dean!"

"What? Yeah." He stilled for a moment. He felt his strength coming back. It was easier for him to breath in deeply. He didn't feel so cold. He looked Shelby in the eyes. He could see by her reaction that his skin had probably returned back to its normal color.

"Yeah, Shelby. I feel fine. I feel, great actually." Shelby cried louder. She didn't care if a hundred people saw her break down on a stage at a Tent Revival. Her Dean was okay. Dean couldn't help but shake the feeling something was wrong. That 'Godly' healing didn't feel very holy at all. Looking over at Sam's face he could tell his brother had the same feeling. He looked up to Shelby. His heart felt like it was failing all over again at her smile. She leaned down and kissed him tenderly. He returned it. He would try to let this go for her.

-TOL-

What'd you think? I think I legit cried when this episode first aired. No ragrets. Anyway, thanks for reading, now please review so I know I'm doing okay! Thanks lovelies. Gooseygirl