Thinking Out Loud

by Astrid Holt

Shelby Bates grew up with the Brothers Winchester. Fighting alongside them and saving the day when needed, she was living the life she loved with the man she loved. Until a dark family secret comes out and she is stolen from under Dean's nose. Dean struggles to live without her, the only one who ever made him feel like he was worth something, until she shows up years later. DeanXOC

10. Sunday Morning

Chapter Ten: Sunday Morning

Sunday morning, rain is falling.

Steal some covers, share some skin.

Clouds are shrouding us in moments unforgettable.

You twist to fit the mold that I am in.

But things just get so crazy, living life gets hard to do,

And I would gladly hit the road, get up and go if I knew

That someday it would lead me back to you.

-Maroon 5

Thunder rumbled softly in the distance. Two naked bodies were molded together under white sheets in a king sized bed in a small town Bed and Breakfast.

"Mmmm. You can keep doin' that if you want." Shelby opened her eyes and propped herself up on her elbow to get a better view of Dean. He turned his head up to her, eyes still closed. He had a lazy smile on his sleepy face. She had been tracing her fingernails over his bare shoulder. Dean moaned slightly again when she stopped her motions. He rolled over onto his back and put his arms behind his neck to prop his head up better. His eyes were open now and he was staring at Shelby.

She wasn't looking at his face, but staring out into nothing, she had started tracing her fingers around in different patterns along his chest after he switched positions. She was thinking about what Missouri had said to her a while back. She had been so busy with hunts lately, then Dean's accident, she hadn't had time for much research. Dean's shiver brought her out of her trance and she smirked. Her soft hand made it's way tantalizingly slow down Dean's toned chest and six pack. She shifted her weight a little in the bed to scoot down closer to the light sheet covering the lower half of Dean's body. Her hand burrowed under the fabric and grabbed onto Dean's now obvious erection. He hissed loudly at the contact. Shelby giggled lightly and threw the covers off of him completely.

"Brr. Too cold." Dean complained light-heartedly. Shelby's giggled faded out and she turned her dark green eyes to him.

"Give me a second and I'll warm you up baby." She slowly moved her hand up and down over Dean's throbbing manhood. After a few strokes, she licked his tip slowly, enjoying the deep moans coming from the man below her. Dean kept his eyes on the beautiful woman above him. He would never get tired of waking up like this. After a few minutes of soft licking she let her mouth completely cover him.

Dean couldn't help the loud moan that escaped his lips or the jerk of his hand to grasp a handful of Shelby's hair. She uncovered him and gently helped Dean's hand remove itself from her knotted hair. Dean's breath hitched again when Shelby slowly moved her naked body to straddle his. She closed her eyes slowly and let her head roll back when she lowered herself over Dean. The lovers slowly started grinding against each other, trying to get as close as possible.

Shelby grunted loudly when Dean grabbed her hips hard and roughly brought her down onto him. She smirked as she let him take control, he was fully awake now. Shelby smiled and giggled slightly as Dean pulled her off of him and flipped her over onto her hands and knees. He smacked her ass hard and grabbed her hips again as he slammed into her over and over. Shelby was finding it harder and harder to breathe. Dean slowed his movements down a bit, he wasn't going to be able to last much longer, thanks to Shelby's little show earlier. He let go of one side of her hip and brought his hand in contact with her clit, rubbing it back and forth in a hard, steady rhythm that accompanied his already thrusting pace. Shelby didn't know how much longer she could last. Damn him. He knew exactly what to do in order to make her come first. She could never win with him! Realizing this wasn't really a bad thing, she let herself go. Dean could feel Shelby's stomach muscles tensing next to his arm as he kept up both his motions.

"Oh, God. Dean. Do. Not. Stop." Shelby was having a hard time spitting a sentence out in between Dean's thrusting and rubbing. She screamed loudly into the bed as the tension that had been building in her stomach released all over Dean. He removed his hand and grabbed her waist again, thrusting hard and deep into Shelby as she shook through her orgasm. Dean finished as Shelby was coming down from her high, but when she felt him finish, it was like her insides were on fire all over again. Dean collapsed next to Shelby on the white sheets. They were both sweaty and panting. He went to tickle her side and Shelby flung herself to the other side of the bed.

"Don't you dare!" Dean knew she was always extra ticklish after sex. He loved to tease her. Mostly because it usually ended in more sex. Unfortunately that wasn't the case today. Sam picked that moment to barge into their room, face buried in his laptop. Shelby screamed and scrambled to cover herself up. That caught Sam's attention and he stared a little too long for Dean's liking. After Shelby had herself covered under the sheets, Sam's eyes wandered over to Dean, who hadn't bothered covering himself up. Sam covered his eyes quickly and turned around.

"Sorry. I- uh, wanted to show you guys something real quick about this Faith Healer." He waited for an answer. After a few seconds it came,

"Okay Sam. We'll meet you in your room in ten minutes. Thanks." Shelby replied softly. Dean clenched his jaw hard in Sam's direction, still laying out in all his glory, trying his damnedest to make his little brother as uncomfortable as possible. Sam slammed the door shut behind him. Dean rolled his eyes and turned back to Shelby, who had laid back down. She didn't want to get out of bed. She wanted Dean to herself today. He was alive, and healthy. She didn't care how it happened. Should she feel bad about that? Probably. Did she? No. She was not going to let herself get all worked up about something she couldn't control. Dean had been picked. Not that sick girl breathing from an oxygen tank, or that young man who was in a wheelchair. No. Dean got saved and that's all she was focusing on.

"Come on babe, we better go see what he found. Maybe this guy isn't God's BFF after all." Shelby sighed. Couldn't he just leave well enough alone? Be happy he was all better? No, because it was Dean.

"Dean, can't you just accept the fact that he saved your life and move on?" Dean got out of bed abruptly. He moved around the room, picking up his clothes that were scattered on the bedroom floor. Shelby stayed where she was. Dean had seen something when that guy 'healed' him. He didn't know what, but it sure as Hell wasn't holy. He hadn't told Shelby anything. He didn't want to worry her. Sam knew, Dean had to say something to someone. They had agreed that Sam would look into it, if he didn't find anything, Dean would leave it alone and walk away. That wasn't the case. Why was life so hard? He just wanted to lay in bed with his girl and ride out this storm. But he couldn't. Something was up.

"No. Shelby, listen. I didn't want to worry you anymore than you had been... But I saw something when that Roy guy healed me. Something, supernatural. I know you believe in God and all that shit, but please, believe in me now. That guy is not handing out 'get-out-of-jail-free cards' from God." Shelby had tears welling up in her eyes. Dean pulled a pair of blue jeans on. He looked around more for a clean shirt.

"Dean, I am begging you. Please, don't do this. It's only going to cause you pain. Why can't you just be happy with how things are?!" Shelby was so angry. How could she get Dean to see things in a different light?

"Shelby, if something freaky is going on here, we need to fix it. Whether I get taken down in the process or not." Was Shelby really hearing this right now? How could he? Why couldn't he just be a little selfish every now and then? They spent enough time saving everyone else. If the roles were switched, wouldn't he do the same thing? She knew the answer. She also knew the answer if she were in Dean's shoes. She couldn't stand by while something fishy was going on. Damn it. But the roles weren't switched. It is what it is. But she couldn't give up without a fight. Maybe the whole truth would make him understand how serious this situation could have been…

"If this guy hadn't have healed you, I was going to make a deal, Dean. I would have sat my ass down at a crossroads and sold my soul for ten more years with you. I didn't even have to think twice about it. Now why can't you just fucking leave it alone? I don't want to even chance you getting taken away from me again! " Dean stopped pulling his shirt on. He just kind of stood there with one arm and his head through the holes. He blinked a few times. How could she say that? How did he respond to that? He pulled his other arm through the hole and grabbed his boots.

"I'll be in Sam's room." Dean slammed the door behind him. He carried his boots down the hall and swung Sam's door open wide before throwing his boots by the edge of the bed. Sam was seated at the small desk on the far side of the room. Dean paced back and forth in front of him for a few minutes. Sam could tell his brother was mad.

"How could you let her do that Sam?" Sam was confused for a second until Dean turned towards him with tears threatening to fall.

"Dean, I-"

"You have to protect her. If I go down, I'm counting on you to keep her up. You don't get to decide to let her sell her soul for me. Not for ten more years. Hell no." Dean stopped pacing and poked Sam in the chest.

"You promise me Sammy. If I can't be saved, you need to be there for her and keep her from going over the edge. You promise?" His brother, who threatened multiple times to castrate him if he touched this girl, was begging him to protect her if he couldn't be saved. Sam opened and closed his mouth a few times before nodding his head.

"I need to hear you say it!" Dean grabbed Sam shirt and pulled him out of the chair.

"Yes, Dean. I promise. I promise!" Dean shoved Sam away and sat down on the edge of the bed. Sam smoothed his shirt down and fell back into the soft chair. He cleared his throat, but waited for Dean to start talking.

"What's going on with this guy?" Dean questioned.

"Something dark. I was headed to the morgue to check out another patient from yesterday. Wanna come?" Dean nodded.

"Yeah, I gotta grab the keys and my jacket. Meet you at the car." Sam nodded and Dean pulled his boots on. He walked down the hallway back to his and Shelby's room. When he entered he heard the shower running. He wanted so badly to go in there and apologize for yelling at her. Wouldn't he do the same for her? Yes. But Shelby deserved to live so much more than Dean did. He quickly grabbed his keys and jacket and closed the door as quietly as he could.

-TOL-

"A reaper? As in an Angel of Death?" Shelby raised an angry eyebrow to the brothers. She was still pissed at Dean for delving deeper into this situation. She really wanted nothing to do with it. It didn't seem like Dean was in any more danger than he would be on a normal hunt, but she didn't want to chance the reaper-wielding man and his wife finding out Dean was trying to stop their little facade.

"Let's just call Bobby and get another hunter on the case. They already know who we are. If we go back in there, they'll know something's up. Especially since you dumbasses thought it'd be smart to go all FBI questions on them!" She was not okay with this. Not at all. Dean stopped his pacing and looked over at his girlfriend.

"Shelby, this is my fault. This guy is playing God and killing innocent people! Some other guy died so I could live! How is this another hunter's problem to fix?"

"I'm not going to help you get killed! They're not dumb, Dean! Hell they're using fucking black magic and have a pet reaper! They WILL figure you out!" Shelby stood up and threw her arms into the air, like it would help her make her point to the brothers. Sam sat quietly in the background while the couple argued loudly. He agreed partly with both of them. Shelby was right, this wasn't Dean's fault, but they did need to stop this before it went any further. He was guiltily happy that they figured all this out after his brother was healed.

"Well then don't! We'll do this on our own!" Shelby scoffed and sat down on the bed. She turned on the lamp and grabbed a random book from the bedside table.

"What are you doing?" Dean asked. Shelby opened the book to a random spot. Without looking up, she answered,

"Not helping you fix this. It's your fault anyway right? It's your fault that this couple is playing God? They decided 'Hmmm, let's tether a reaper to our wrists and play God so we can meet the dreamy Dean Winchester! And then, when he tries to gank us, we'll kill him! Man he sure is gonna wish he listened to his smart, beautiful better-hunter-than-him girlfriend.'" Shelby turned the page of the book angrily without really reading the words. Dean grabbed Sam's arm and stormed out the door. They were perfectly capable of fixing this without her. He would show her.

-TOL-

Turned out, they were almost capable of fixing the problem at hand by themselves. Not exactly how Dean or Sam had wanted it. More innocent lives had been lost, and some hadn't been saved. Shelby was still pissed off royally at Dean. He had almost died, just like she said he would. He was counting his lucky stars Shelby came barreling down on that awful woman like she had. Poor Sam got himself locked in the cellar and Shelby had found them all just in time.

After getting back to the B & B, Shelby stormed up the stairs and into their room, angrily grabbing a change of clothes. Dean kept his eyes down as she tore off her bloody outfit and pulled on some black leggings and a loose, off-the-shoulder red sweater. She left her mom's rose earrings and silver cross on.

"Shelby, baby. Listen, I'm ah-"

"I know. It's okay. Can you just hold me?" Dean stepped into the room fully and sat next to Shelby on the bed. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly. She cried into his jacket.

"Dean Winchester, I am so fucking mad at you."

"I know, I shouldn't have gone in there like that. That bitch totally knew what was up"

"No! I'm mad at you because you didn't think about your own family first. Sam and I. We need you. We need you to be selfish just a little bit every once in a while. You mean something to us. I mean, I know the life of a hunter isn't exactly short but... I don't know. I just... Want to go down this short, dead end road with you, all the way."

"Shelby, you know that if the roles were switched you would have done the same thing." Shelby pulled away from Dean's strong hold.

"Yeah, you're right, but the roles weren't switched. So that doesn't work. Listen, I don't want to argue about this anymore. I just want to forget it ever happened. Can we do that?" Dean smiled down at Shelby and kissed her forehead.

"Yes, Princess. I would happily oblige to that request." Dean said into Shelby's tan forehead.

"I just want to be with you, now. In this moment, forever. Can we do that?"

"Until my little brother comes barging in. I swear he could be a professional cock-blocker." Shelby snorted out a laugh that made Dean chuckle. She got up off of the bed and went over to her leather book bag. She pulled out a black moleskin journal. Dean recognized it, Sam had gotten it for Shelby for her sixteenth birthday. She wrote all of her songs down in it, and every once in a while she would show Dean her drawings. She was very talented. She had this way of bringing her subjects to life.

She had drawn a picture of Sam and Dean a few years back. They were sitting around a campfire, with beers in their hands and matching smiles on their faces. The smiles looked so real, he didn't remember himself ever feeling that happy. Maybe that's what Shelby saw... Dean remembered that night. That was right before Sam had left for college. Shelby cleared her throat and opened the journal.

"I wrote a little something, while you guys were out. I wanted to know if you wanna hear it?" She shyly pulled a piece of hair out of her face and put it behind her ear.

"Of course baby. I always love hearing your songs." Dean smiled and walked over to his girlfriend. He planted a chaste kiss on her lips.

"Good, follow me." Dean followed Shelby out of their bedroom and down the hall, past Sam's room. Dean smirked. So this song was only for him. Good. He didn't want to admit it, but he got jealous when Shelby shared any of her drawings or songs with Sam. Call him petty. He didn't care... Much. Shelby led Dean downstairs into the main foyer of the Bed and Breakfast. There was an old wooden Beethoven sitting in the far corner. She set her journal down on the bench next to her.

"I kind of messed around with it earlier, but that's it. So don't laugh if I miss a few chords!" Shelby glared playfully at Dean, who was sitting down on the old couch a few feet from her.

"Go ahead, baby." Dean relaxed into the musty couch and waited for Shelby to start. She ran her fingers over the keys a few times before starting a soft rhythm. Dean was impressed. If she had just started this earlier... Damn, why was she stuck in this life? She should be on a full-ride to Juilliard. Dean's morbid thoughts stopped when he heard her start to sing.

Sunday morning, rain is fallin'.

Steal some covers, share some skin.

Clouds are shroudin' us in moments unforgettable.

You twist to fit the mold that I am in.

But things just get so crazy, livin' life gets hard to do.

And I would gladly hit the road, get up and go if I knew

That someday it would lead me back to you.

That someday it would lead me back to you.

That may be all I need.

In darkness, he is all I see.

Come and rest your bones with me.

Driving slow on Sunday morning,

And I never want to leave.

Fingers trace your every outline, oh yeah yeah yeah.

Paint a picture with my hands.

Back and forth we sway like branches in a storm.

Change the weather, still together when it ends.

Dean let his eyes close and listened to the lyrics. No matter what, he would be by her side. No matter the storm, he vowed, silently to himself in that small, musty, old Bed and Breakfast, that he would always be there to save his girl. He would never leave her. Never abandon her. Even in his darkest of times, Shelby had been the light that rescued him. He remembered her recent tattoo. He understood it now. Shelby's pace and tone picked back up. Dean opened his eyes. Sam had found his way downstairs and was leaning against the dark oak door frame. Some other guests had gathered throughout the room as well. Old house, thin walls. Dean ignored everyone else. This song was for him. He watched the way her calloused hands glided over the piano like they'd been born there.

That may be all I need.

In darkness, he is all I see.

Come and rest your bones with me.

Driving slow on Sunday morning,

And I never want to leave.

But things just get so crazy, livin' life gets hard to do.

Sunday morning, rain is fallin' and I'm callin' out to you.

Singin', someday it'll bring me back to you.

Find a way to bring myself back home to you.

That may be all I need.

In darkness, he is all I see.

Come and rest your bones with me.

Driving slow on Sunday morning,

Driving slow.

Loud clapping resounded through the small room. Shelby jumped and turned around in surprise at the group that had formed. She blushed brightly and bowed a little. Dean stood up and offered a hand to Shelby. She gladly took it after grabbing her journal from the piano. The small group seemed to evaporate after Dean and Shelby huddled to themselves, everyone finally noticing it wasn't supposed to be a public affair. Sam walked up to the couple cautiously.

"I'll uh, check us out and start loading the car up." Shelby and Dean nodded to him. Shelby looked up to Dean. He rubbed his hands up and down her back soothingly.

"Soooo, what'd you think?" Shelby smile shyly up to her boyfriend. Dean kissed her.

"I loved it baby." More smiling and butterflies. Dean pulled her down onto his lap. His face got serious. Her smiling face pulled down into a frown.

"What?"

"I know we said we would drop this whole thing, but I just want to make one thing clear." Dean's face turned hard, his jaw clenched and his voice got very low and scratchy. Shelby pulled back, slightly afraid.

"If things ever go downhill and it's not lookin' like I'm gonna come out of it, then I want you and Sammy to move on. I would never forgive you if you sold your soul for me. Do you understand, Shelby?" Shelby gulped. Dean was not fooling around. She nodded softly.

"Okay."

"Okay? That's it? No argument?" Shelby nodded again. She was ashamed of what she had admitted to Dean earlier.

"Good, and I don't want you to keep secrets like that from me. Okay? I don't keep stuff like that from you." Shelby was feeling guiltier by the second. Her mind reeled back to what Missouri had said a while back. She wasn't exactly lying to Dean about any of it. She planned on telling him, just not until she knew all the facts.

"Okay. I love you."

"I love you too baby."

-TOL-

What you think? One of my favorite songs ever! Please review for my writing fire! Thanks guys! Gooseygirl