The Long And Winding Road
Notes: The flashback in this chapter takes place days after JT's memories seen in Chapter 3. Unlike the flashbacks in Chapters 2 (Emma's) and 3 (JT's), this one is not seen from any one particular character's point of view or memory. Thanks for the comments and reviews of Chapter 5. And, as always, I don't own the show, the characters, etc.
Chapter 6 -- I Will Be Your Friend
Six months earlier – in late April – the Nelson/Simpson house was the setting for the reception following Mrs. Jillian Yorke's funeral and burial. Late in the afternoon, the gathering was starting to wind down.
JT, emotionally distant since learning of his mother's death, had said very little on this day except when necessary. As the remaining guests chatted in various parts of the living room, JT stood at the bar. Emma was beside him, having been by his side for the entire day.
"That was a nice service, don't you think?" Emma asked JT.
"Yeah," he replied simply.
"So many people had such nice things to say."
"Yeah."
"And you look so nice," she added.
"Maybe more people should die and I'll get to wear this suit more often."
"JT, that's not how I meant…"
JT then looked at Emma. He hadn't intended for his words to come out sounding cold, especially not towards her.
"I know. Sorry, Emma."
"Don't worry about it," she said.
Emma understood that JT wasn't angry. However, she almost wished he was, because she believed that would be better than having him continue to bottle things up inside. This was something she wasn't used to seeing him do. At least not around her.
Melanie, JT's girlfriend at the time, soon approached the pair.
"Hey gang!" Melanie said with an inappropriate level of enthusiasm. "Nice party. I mean, it's too bad WHY we're having it, but it's still turned out great. Emma, your mother is a surprisingly good cook."
"Yes, she's done a great job," Emma said.
Emma was determined not to lose her temper with the girl. Though just looking at Melanie's appearance on this day, she couldn't help but feel hostile.
"You're looking nice as always, Melanie," Emma said sarcastically, "red being SUCH an appropriate color to wear on this occasion."
"I know one should wear black," Melanie explained, "but I just don't look good in black."
"No, not YOU!" Emma pretended to sound shocked.
"It's true," Melanie assured, not catching on to Emma's sarcasm. "And I wanted to look extra nice for JT today. Do you like it, JT?"
"It's very…you," JT replied.
"See Emma? I knew he'd love it. So JT, how about we go do something later?"
"Melanie…" Emma cautioned.
"No, it'll be great," the dark-haired girl interrupted. "JT, you and I could go to the mall, check out some new CDs, maybe grab a couple of hot dogs…"
"Melanie, what's the matter with you?" Emma's voice grew louder, though she still wasn't yelling. "Do you really think it's appropriate to plan a date with JT for the evening after he buried his mother?"
"You see, JT?" Melanie asked, growing angry. "Miss Perfect thinks she knows everything, as usual. Trust me, what you need is a break from all of this. Get outside and do something to take your mind off everything."
"He doesn't need that at all," Emma shot back. "Especially not right now."
"JT, tell Emma thanks for the use of her home but you don't need any more help from her."
Emma's mother, having noticed the tension from nearby, approached.
"JT, can I do anything for you?" Spike asked. "You haven't eaten anything."
"No, Mrs. N. Thanks. For all of this."
"I'm glad to help out," she replied. "Though I have to say much of the credit should go to Emma. I'm sorry your dad had to rush off and couldn't join us."
"Well, it's like he said – 'Business doesn't stop just because we have personal problems.'"
Spike had some strong opinions regarding JT's father's attitude, but kept them to herself.
"That's…certainly one way to look at things," she said, trying to be diplomatic. "Listen, JT, I talked with Snake and Emma earlier. You don't have any other relatives living in town, and you shouldn't have to go right back to an empty house. We'd like you to stay here for a day or two. The couch isn't too uncomfortable as a bed…and you'll probably find a fortune in spare change if you look between the cushions long enough."
"I don't know," JT hesitated.
"Just think about it," Spike urged. "You're practically family to us, and we'd really like you to stick around for awhile."
Spike then hugged JT briefly, but he remained completely still.
"Let me know if you need anything," she said before going into the kitchen.
"Or you could always come stay with me," Melanie suggested once Spike was gone. "My bed would fit the both of us nicely."
"Could you be any more vulgar, Melanie?" Emma asked.
"I didn't mean anything by it," Melanie claimed.
"I'm sure we know exactly how you meant it," Emma argued.
"Stop," JT interrupted.
"She started it," Melanie protested.
"Wow, you're a real beacon of maturity aren't you, Melanie," Emma responded.
"Just stop," JT again said. "Melanie, I don't want to go on any date tonight. And I don't think sharing a bed with you is a good idea."
Melanie hated how, once again, JT seemed to be taking Emma's side over her.
"I see," she said. "Well fine. Stay here then, JT. I'm sure you won't complain at all when Emma puts you in HER bed. It's obvious she wants to."
"I don't feel like arguing, Melanie," JT said wearily. "Would you just leave me alone?"
"Alone meaning alone with Emma?" Melanie continued to argue. "Fine. Just remember…to Emma, you're not a friend, a lover or anything else. Just her latest project. She knows she can't save every tree, but she'll sure try to save you. Then when she's done – or bored – she'll move on. We all know she doesn't like being around people she can't feel superior to for very long. So she takes someone she thinks is defective, mends his wings – or tries to – then gets bored with her creation and throws him away like trash."
JT closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Once he re-opened them, he started to speak in a calm manner.
"Okay, Melanie. We're done here. You…leave."
"What?" Melanie looked shocked while Emma tried not to appear overly happy.
"I won't ask you to apologize to Emma because I see you could never have a genuinely nice thought about someone who's not agreeing with everything you say or keeping you entertained 24/7. But you and me? I'm burying that today as well."
"I know you don't mean that, JT," she reasoned.
"I've never been more serious," he said with confidence.
With nothing more to say, Melanie quickly stormed out of the house in a huff. Emma then tried to hug JT, but he backed away.
"She WAS right about one thing, Emma," JT admitted. "I need to get outside for awhile. Get some air."
"I can help with that," she said.
Emma led JT through the kitchen and out the back door while signaling to her mother that she was going to try once again to get through to him. The two friends stepped outside, with Emma shutting the door behind them. Things were quiet for a few moments, and Emma noticed that JT looked a little unsteady on his feet.
"I'm so tired," he finally said.
"I doubt you've gotten much sleep, if any, in the last couple of days. Don't worry. It's going to be okay. Just lean on me a little. All right?"
Emma tried to hold JT's hand but he wouldn't let her.
"She wanted me to go with her on that trip, my mother. Did I tell you that, Emma?"
"No."
"But she understood that I wouldn't, because I didn't want to miss out on my Saturday with…well, she knew I had my reasons. Maybe if I'd agreed to go, I would have been at the bank with her and could have done something. Changed things."
"JT, don't say that."
For the first time since JT learned of his mother's death, tears started to form in his eyes.
"The funeral's over. The work is done. Now I don't know what to do."
"I know, JT, and that's okay."
Emma again started to make contact with him. He, in turn, again tried to resist as she began to hug him. This time, though, she wasn't letting go of him. Soon he gave in to the hug and held tightly to her.
"I promise you," she said softly, "everything's going to be okay. YOU are going to be okay."
"I was no good for her, Emma, and now she's dead."
"Listen to me, Jamie. You couldn't stop what happened at that bank. God, if you had been there too, you both…"
Emma's eyes now became watery as well.
"…I can't even bring myself to think it. I may be the most selfish person in the world, but I am SO glad you weren't in that bank, too. But I also know that your mom would act in the same way, even with you there. She's a hero for what she did for that family. Think of her that way."
"Everything's so screwed up, Emma, and I can't fix it. Look at my father. Wait, you can't. He's not here. He can't stay in town more than a few hours without wanting to get away. Even today. And I obviously couldn't make things with Melanie work. I never could help Manny. And now you're too busy helping me. Always giving, and never getting. You deserve a better friend."
Emma stepped back, wiped the tears from her face and looked at JT, smiling.
"Do you know how aggravating you are, Jamie? Those old girlfriends were just temporary. I remember one time when I was at your house. You were off getting something from your bedroom. Your mom told me she had a feeling about the girls you dated. She called them placeholders; stand-ins until you finally find the one person you deserve. I have an idea what she meant."
Emma teared up again. She knew that she had always been his mother's ideal choice for JT. It was an attitude Emma had gradually begun to see the merit in.
"Whoever this 'right girl' is, she's out there. Maybe closer than you know. Now as for your dad, he's a workaholic. It means that sometimes he'll do something incredibly stupid like he did today by taking off. But that's his problem, not yours. And as for me, if you think you can EVER get rid of me, you're goofier than I ever thought possible. No such luck. Friends forever, Jamie. Remember?"
"But…"
"No buts, Mister," Emma interrupted before he could protest. "Look, if you think you don't have a positive effect on me, you're nuts. You help me out all the time. You've been here through everything from runaway dogs to numerous boyfriend disasters to helping convince people I'm not crazy just because I'd rather go to a protest rally than a concert.
"Jamie, don't think that I don't know you've been the reason some of my own demonstrations have had such good turnouts. You have a way of charming people into doing things they'd otherwise never dream of doing. Sometimes you've been the only one who gets why I want to fight these causes, even when you start to think I've lost it. You're also a good enough friend to come right out and tell me when I've lost it."
"I don't know," JT said.
"Hey, you've even taught me how to appreciate all different types of humor," she continued. "Not just with the 1 or 2 movies each Saturday. You can say the funniest things, then turn around and do the stupidest routine using a gummy bear, two toothpicks and some ketchup, yet have me laughing at both kinds of joking…often against my better judgment. Are you needed? Yes. Could I find a better friend? I can't imagine where."
JT finally smiled, causing Emma to smile again.
"And you already know all of this," she added. "Your mind is just out of whack today…with good reason."
Once Emma was finished, there was a moment when neither said anything.
"Sorry about Melanie," JT eventually said, breaking the silence.
"Don't apologize for her, JT. I never really did like her."
At this, he laughed slightly.
"Emma, I don't think you've ever liked any of my girlfriends."
"Hey, can I help it if none of them are right for you?" Emma responded. "I'm your best friend. I'm picky. So sue me. And I DID like Manny…okay, not so much by the time you two were actually dating, but I still like her more than the others. Look, I won't say I'm sad you broke up with Melanie, but I hate that she forced you to do it on today of all days."
"It's okay," he promised.
"Say, how did you like the flower arrangement the class bought?" she then asked, changing the subject. "That's the one thing I didn't get to help with. Liberty said I was doing everything else, so she wanted to take charge of getting some flowers and taking up the collection."
"Then I should have thanked her earlier," JT said.
"It's all right. You can talk to her a little later. She hasn't left. Hey, I noticed that Manny was at the funeral."
"I saw."
"I hope it didn't bother you, her being there."
"No," he replied. "I'm over her now. Completely. Nice that she put in an appearance, though."
"So, are you going to take us up on our offer and spend a couple days with us?" Emma questioned.
"Too much trouble," he replied.
"Of course not."
"Emma, I need to get used to being alone."
"Being alone? Never. Living alone? Maybe some of the time, but you certainly don't need to do that today. You'll always have me…that is, me and a lot of good people who care about you. Being the guy who entertains everyone in school has made you a lot of friends. Annoyed a lot of people, but made you a lot of friends, too."
They both laughed.
"Thanks, Emma," JT said as he wiped his eyes. "For putting up with me. For everything."
"Anytime. Just let me know next time you start feeling down about all those things again. I don't want you getting depressed."
"I promise."
"Good. Now, I'll ask just one last time, JT. Will you stay at my house for a couple days? Or do I have to camp out on your front lawn to make sure you're not inside all by yourself when you could be staying with people who care about you?"
"You wouldn't…"
Emma simply stared at him.
"You would," JT admitted. "So…how are you at cooking breakfast?"
"I can pour cereal with the best of them. Anything else and you'll want to call the fire department."
"How can I pass up an offer like that?" he teased.
"You can't."
"Then let's stop by my house later and grab a few things I'll need."
"Finally, you're talking sense again," Emma said, relieved that she was finally able to provide some level of comfort to her best friend.
"Emma, before we go back inside, I just wanted to tell you…"
"Yes?"
"Emma, I love…talking…to you."
Emma then grabbed JT's hand, still looking at him.
"I love…talking to you, too, JT."
Each felt as though their relationship was somehow deepening even further. Each wondered if the other was having similar thoughts. Each also knew that this was something better left for another day, if indeed it should be dealt with at all.
"I can't stop thinking about that shooting," he remarked. "Picturing what it must have looked like. Sometimes I think my mind is going to explode."
"I know, JT. It's not a helpful solution, but you just have to give it time. It's only been a few days. Just know that I'm going to be here to help, however I can."
"I know," he said, confident in this knowledge.
"We don't have to hurry back in if you're not ready," Emma suggested.
"But all the people in there…"
"…Aren't expecting you to entertain them," she assured. "We can stay out here as long as you want."
"I'd like that, Emma."
Soon, the two would go back inside. JT would express his gratitude to Liberty. Emma would finally convince JT to eat. But for the time being, the pair sat outside on the steps…still holding hands. Whatever the future had in store, they knew their friendship could see them through anything.
Next Chapter – Back to the present. It's Saturday and the double date is looming.