Sandshrew and Grimer

It was a cool bright night where the full moon hung in the sky like a bare light bulb left to hang in a black room. The moon poured blue light onto the landscape, lighting up the world but not really making things clear. Instead, everything seemed more mysterious and magical than ever. The budding trees seemed to be ancient nature spirits watching over their domain, and the grass seemed like it might hold unforetold power. It didn't obviously, since it was grass, but it sure looked so different.

Sandy walked along a dirt path in this moonlit landscape, searching. Her paws felt tired as she'd been searching all day. Why was it so hard to find a new place to dig a home? Some of her desert neighbors thought it'd be a brilliant idea to start up a rock band. Listening to them beat rocks against each other all day and all night pushed the limits of even her patience. Finding a new home sounded good, but then she didn't realize just how small their desert had been. All the good spots had been taken by other Sandshrews or too close to the rock band. At the time, she declined to take one of the less suitable spots.

Maybe she should have settled for one of those. She hadn't seen good sand in several hours, only grass, clay, and now a stream. It wasn't even a nice stream, something that smelled like poo and rotted vegetation. As the surface was slimy, it was hard to see into it, not something she'd dare drink. How could people be so careless as to let it get this bad? More importantly, how could anyone stand to live near it? She couldn't so she prepared to move on.

Further along the stream, she came to a drop off with a waterfall. A cliff meant that there had to be rocky grounds somewhere around, and that would make a suitable home. She considered following the cliff line to get away from the stream, but then noticed something peculiar. There was something else in the water there, two white orbs with round black spots. The polluted stream was watching her.

And it only further spooked her by gathering up in a slimy lump, made dark violet under the blue moonlight. It sprouted hands and a wild grin that seemed ripped off the face of a madman and pasted there. As the eyes seemed to glow, the thing said, "Hello, lunch."

Now Sandy was normally a level-headed Pokemon, but this was simply too much. She screamed and ran away from the stream as fast as she could. Unfortunately, she didn't look quite where she was going and ran straight off the cliff. Without the reassurance of solid ground underneath her paws, she curled herself into a ball and hoped for the best. She bounced off the land below, getting thrown back into the air. She continued to bounce and then roll for quite some time before she was able to stop.

Back at the top of the cliff, the Grimer that had been in the stream emerged from it, along with three others like it. They shuffled over to the edge of the cliff and looked down. "Wow, you scared that one good," one said. "I'd go splat all over if I dropped down here."

"Yeah, she thought you were really gonna eat her!" another said.

The Grimer in question stood up straight... actually, it was more of a pulling its slimy goo in and making itself a few inches taller. "That's cause I'm the best! You guys can't even dream of being as awesome as me."

"Oh please. You just got lucky in getting one that was easy to scare."

"It ain't luck! It's car-ism-ma, that's what it is. I got so much car-ism-ma that it leaks out my ears."

"Pssht, yeah right."

"Then just who is leading in the all time scare record?" He punched his fist into his chest, making a squelch sound. "It's me, that's who. You have no clue how to do things right; you got no pizzazz. I can scare anybody and nobody scares me."

The other Grimer rolled his eyes, twisting the eyeballs themselves. "Scaring folks is only a diversion, doofus. When it comes to the important stuff, I'm top slime around here. You can't compare."

"I think I..." and he got interrupted by a spot of dirt that began bulging up in the ground nearby.

Moments later, the Sandshrew emerged. "Ugh, that clay," Sandy said, glancing at her claws. "It's gonna stick, I know it."

"Oh my gosh, it's alive!" one of the other Grimers said, shrinking down closer to the ground.

Sandy looked at them, puzzled as to why they were all staring at her, spooked. Now that she had a good view on them, they didn't seem that scary, just blobs of poisonous slime. And she knew how to deal with Poison Pokemon. "Yeah," she replied. "It's not that far of a drop. Although, I did bounce quite a ways there."

"You are so amazing," another said. "We're not worthy!" Then the two of them bowed down to the ground with her. Or more specifically, they splatted their faces on the ground in deference. The two squabbling Grimers glanced at each other, then her, then followed suit.

Why did she get the feeling that she was getting involved in something stupid? Sandy bit down on her tongue, then said, "Maybe. What in the world are you? I don't remember seeing Pokemon like you before."

"We are Grimers!" the braggart one said, lifting his head. The others soon followed. "Born by x-rays from the moon and gunk in the rivers, we are the toxic avengers! We're here as the world's vengeance on pollutions."

Sandy wasn't sure about that. At any rate, it didn't apply to her as she lived neatly. "Okay, you do that. Hey, do you know a rocky or sandy area around here? I'm looking for a new place to live."

The four Grimers glanced around. One pointed across the stream. "There's a place like that a ways off that way. The stream doesn't go there, but I didn't like it over there as it was much cleaner than this place. No gunk at all; it's not nice."

"I think I can deal with that," she said, glad for it. "Thanks; I needed to escape that noise pollution."

"Pollution, you say?" the braggart Grimer asked, interested.

"Not your sort, I think," Sandy said, looking around for some way to cross the river. Maybe down on the lower ground? "A couple of my neighbors in the desert off to the southeast were putting together a rock back and it was so noisy. I can't stand people littering the air with all that ruckus. I don't think even you could stand it." Then she burrowed back under the ground, not wanting to drop off the cliff again. She could pass under the river that way.

The four Grimers looked to each other. "Noise pollution, huh?" the braggart said.

"What kind of half-baked scheme do you have now?" his rival asked.

"We can make noise pollution too, I'm sure," he said. "And that might attract even more gunk and grime! Let's form a grunge band!"

"What for?" one of the other Grimers asked.

"For a battle of the bands," he said, grinning with dark mischief.

…

Sandshrew HeartGold entry: If it fell from a great height, this Pokemon could save itself by rolling into a ball and bouncing.

Grimer B/W entry: It was born when sludge in a dirty stream was exposed to the moon's X-rays. It appears among filth.

...the moon's X-rays... O-kay then. *adds Grimer to list of nonsensical 'dex entries*

Seems like it's been so long! I've got a separate Pokemon one-shot that I'm working on that's really long (10K+ words now), there's been computer issues, and other real-life stuff. All well; glad to be working back on this! And with such a silly one too.

Their battle of the bands needs a heavy metal band competitor too.