IMPERIAL REPORT #02-2016-05-26-0700

From: Lord Inquisitor Arotias

I slowly begin opening my eyes, I can barely see anything at all, everything is blurry.

An incredibly strong light shines in my face barely allowing me to distinguish shapes, in front of me I see a very clear round object from which the light is emanating, I shift my gaze away from the object in order to avoid the incredibly bright light, and now I can see it, still blurry I manage to figure out what that shape is, it is the sun.

Amused at my own discovery the only next logical reasoning is that I am no longer in the planet I used to live in, now I must be in some kind of space ship

*the ships makes no sound except for a very light bshhhh which sounds as if it is incredibly far away*

I suppose those must be the thrusters of this space ship? I ask myself trying to avoid the realisation I am in the middle of space with a bunch of crazy maniacs who will torch me alive if I say anything remotely suspicious.

Suddenly I hear a loud *CRAAAANKK* behind me, I try to turn around to see what produced such an ear wrenching noise, but to no avail. The iron shackles which hold me do not even show a remote sign of noticing my attempts to break free.

Suddenly I see a familiar face, the female inquisitor is standing behind me, bending her head over my shoulder staring right into my eyes, suddenly a smirk shows in her face *well hello there, have you slept well?* she asks sarcastically, knowing full well I was completely knocked out.

I look at her with an angry expression on my face while staring into her eyes

*she licks her lips* "no one has looked that way at me that way before, you think you stand a chance against me?" she said

I ease the expression in my face and lower my head

"That's what I thought" she says

Suddenly I hear a loud *CHUNG* I look down at my hands, now they are free, so are my legs and neck, I stand up only to be kicked back into the chair by the female inquisitor looking at me as if she was going to impale me.

I figure I should not get up until she says so, while I was sitting down I make use of the time and take a good look around the room, I see she is typing into some sort of console with one eye, while keeping the other focused on me. "I really should get out of here fast" I think to myself.

I notice a small chair and bed, on one side of the room, the room looks more like a cell more than anything else.

Fear begins itching away at me, what are they going to do to me? Why have they brought me here? What is going on? Questions, questions and more questions and most likely they were not going to be answered any time soon, my stomach complained, I had not eaten in a long time.

The female inquisitor seems to notice and throws at me what looks like a military ration, I had never seen one of those before and it looked like a mystery, which side is it supposed to open from? How I am even supposed to open it? Dammit, I really am useless, the female inquisitor notices once again and lends me a hand, I pay close attention, she turns it around shakes it for a few moments and then suddenly out of nowhere a small lid opens up, revealing the contents of the can.

Inside there was a white liquid, it has no smell, neither taste, it's almost like water but more sticky.

I hastily drink the contents of the can, my stomach seems to stop complaining and the female inquisitor is looking at me with a disgruntled face.

I look at her and mumble "uhmm did I do something wrong?"

She replies mumbling "you left none for me didn't you"

I look at her amused and before I can say anything, she breaks into maniac laughter while shouting "you should have seen your face!"

I think to myself "perhaps this inquisitor has more sense of humour that the others" I try to put my best face on while she laughs her hearts contents out, in the end I fail and end up putting an awkward face that provokes her to laugh even more.

After several minutes of hearing her laughing uncontrollably she finally comes to a stop and puts a serious face. The words that she speaks make my hearth tremble with fear, *very calmly she moves close to me and says*," you probably are asking yourself why where you brought here" I nod in signal of correctness, she carries on speaking and says "the reason why you are here is very simple, the planet you live on is the target for a tyranid invasion, there was not enough time to evacuate everyone, neither were there enough ships, so we decided to evacuate the firstborn of every family"

I raise my eyes filled with fear to meet hers, "you mean everyone on the planet is going to die?"

She replies with a heavy nod of head, my head slowly falls down until I am staring at her feet.

She gently places her hand on my cheek and speaks while staring into my eyes "fear not, for now the imperium shall take care of you" I fail to understand what she means, she carries on speaking "out of all the refugees you have been chosen for an experiment"

*I shiver in fear* and ask with a shaking voice, "what kind of experiment?" she replies "I cannot reveal details but we are testing a new kind of technology which records events"

Suddenly her intercom begins making noises, she picks up "yes? What is it?" she speaks imperatively into the device, I can hear someone speaking but I cannot make out any words, she is too far away. Suddenly with an abrupt movement she puts the intercom away and speaks to me "right now the tyranid fleet is on top of the planet, ready to begin the invasion, want to take a look?"

My head feels quite heavy, but I manage to nod. A small but very thick metal curtain lifts and I can see what seems to be a huge bulking space ship over a planet, but it isn't just a space ship, it seems to be… alive in some way.

The female inquisitor speaks to me again and says "the planet will soon be under siege", and then she looks into her pocket and hands to me what seems to be a small PDA, she then states "keep it with you, that way I will always know where you are, it can also be used to access the information network of the imperium in case you ever need help opening another can" she laughs briefly.

The tyranid space ship over the planet seems to be releasing some kind of spores, at the distance I am I can barely make out what they actually are.

The female inquisitor commands me to follow her, I follow her as told, she leads me out of the room to some kind of very long hallway with many doors in it, "this must be the living quarters" I think to myself

The hallway is very long with paths opening up every few steps, some seem to lead to dead ends, while others I can see no end to. The hallway is very long and slightly dark making my hearth shiver a little imagining what kind of things could be lurking in the shadows, thankfully the female inquisitor was with me, that eased the fear in my hearth a bit, even though not a lot, since it is very likely that the scariest thing in the ship was the inquisitor herself.

The inquisitor stops and tells me to go into a room.

Inside the room there are a variety of weapons, things ranging from lazguns to bolter weapons and some others I had never even heard of, there were also some melee weapons I did recognize, things like the venerated power sword, and some other normal melee weapons. All of the weapons seemed to be in top notch condition, all of them shining as if cleaned a moment ago, none of them had speck of dust on them. I noticed in the corner of the room the man dressed in black attire and inquisitorial symbol in the wrist, he seemed to be cleaning a sabre, a regular one, I noticed nothing special in the sabre itself, instead what caught my attention instead was the man's steel gaze upon me, he noticed I was staring at him.

He quickly rose from the chair he was sitting in and directed himself towards me sabre in hand, I have to admit for a moment a chill went down my spine, then he said "this might not look like a mighty weapon, but that doesn't mean it isn't one", I was confused, that seemed like an odd way to start a conversation, and even more so he spoke as if he had read my mind. Then I noticed he was glaring at me again he was expecting an answer then I thought to myself "dammit why does everyone I have met thus far is so damm scary?"

Out of my thoughts I was pulled by a hand grabbing me by the shoulder, then I heard the voice of the female inquisitor once again "you shouldn't stare at people you don't know", I felt like answering back something along the lines of "well if you people weren't so darn creepy and suspicious maybe I wouldn't" another answer that come to my mind was "I thought I had freedom to look wherever I wanted" in the end I settled for the answer that seemed the most appropriate and just simply said "understood".

She looked at me again, sighed and kept on walking, the man had disappeared alongside the sabre, and neither were anywhere to be found, strange I thought to myself I didn't even hear the door opening.

Regardless this also seemed to be the stop of the female inquisitor when she stated "from this moment on I will teach you the ways of warfare" I thought to myself "she means training?", "first I am going to teach you about the lazrifle", pay close attention, I'd hate to repeat myself, I thought to myself again "yup its training". She handed me a lazgun at me while grabbing one herself and stated "this is the basic weapon of the imperial guard, many will tell you it is nothing but a weak weapon, however because of its efficiency in ammo and the fact you can reload each lazer pack with only sunlight is a huge benefit for extensive encounters in enemy territory with no chances of resupply, and if you take good care of it, it shall take good care of you".

She then explained how to reload the gun itself, change the power emitted by the weapon, and maintaining it. The hardest part was the last; it involved completely disassembling the entire weapon while cleaning every little place in it, and after that assembling it all over, thankfully I discovered a very useful thing in the DPA she handed to me before, as she said I could enter the imperial network, inside the network I found plenty of manuals on how to carefully assemble and disassemble the damm thing correctly "thank the emperor" I thought to myself. Ironically the manual which was most useful because of how simple it was and contained pictures of every part it mentioned was called "how to take care of your gun for idiots" strangely this manual seemed to have no author and included all other types of weapons, excluding those strange things I do not even know how they are called.

After about 2 hours of assembling and disassembling the thing I thought to myself "I have a pretty good understanding of how to do it", that thought went flying out the window when the inquisitor said I should every day assemble it and disassemble it, to prevent me being left with a useless weapon in the worst situation.

After that she made me practice a couple of shots against a dummy slowly increasing in distance, I managed to land the first shot alright and smirked in satisfaction, the inquisitor then stated "don't be happy yet boy at that range any enemy of the imperium would of already killed you, even though I didn't like it, she was indeed kind of right, after all the dummy was only a few meters away, after about 1 hour of shooting I begun liking the gun itself, it seemed to have no recoil, almost I should say, and it was much lighter than I expected.

Then she introduced me to the basic armour the guardsmen used, flak armour as she called it, to be honest it seemed to be very thin and quite light, this made me doubt its effectiveness, however I did went through all the putting it on and removing it thing, "it is much simpler than the lazrifle I'll give you that" I thought to myself.

Then she introduced me to the melee weapons, things like the knife which could be attached to the lazrifle to make a bayonet, and the sabre, she then proceeded to explain the stance I should use the sabre in and how I should cut with it rather than stab. Strangely enough in my DPA I did found another manual called "fencing 101 for imbeciles" this manual again had pictures of everything which helped A LOT, I thought to myself "dammit this titles keep getting more offensive I wonder who picked them"

I was then explained how to use the bolt gun and brace for the recoil, and emperor's tits, that thing had a massive recoil and was heavier than the lazrifle, the ammo it fired was huge, however it did a pretty satisfactory sound when I pulled the trigger.

She also introduced me to the lazgun (sidearm).

And when I asked about the bolter she said it would rip my arm off if I didn't train my musculature. "I admit I'm not the strongest guy in the world but damm that was hard" and my ego went flying out the window.

Suddenly an emergency alarm sounded and a voice spoke from the loud speakers "everyone to battle stations, we are being boarded, I repeat there are enemies inside the ship, everyone prepare for combat"

I could hear the inquisitor loudly say "damm my luck", she then told me to arm myself and stay inside the room, she then left without making any sound.

I thought to myself "well training is over"

IMPERIAL REPORT ENDING #02 2016-05-29 0905