Chapter 28: Does True Love Endure?
APOV
"Hi Daddy. Just seeing Ray makes my want to burst into tears. He's my rock - my constant. He's my Northern Star and Christian is my sun burning bright and hot.
"Hey, Annie. What's with the reason for the impromptu visit?" He knows me so well and knows when I'm upset.
"I just needed a break. Things are… overwhelming." I look at him with a smile. Ray is never complicated.
"Well, would you like some dinner?"
"Dad, you cooked?" He has never cooked. It's why I learned to cook so young.
"Stouffer's technically cooked it but I did take it out of the box and put it in the oven." He's smiling.
"Sounds fabulous."
Dinner is good. Just the two of us in his simple and cozy kitchen. After dinner I do the dishes and clean up. Then Ray hands me a beer. "Let's go sit on the porch, Annie-girl."
It's nice and quiet out here. I let out a relaxing breath as I sit down. "I've forgotten how nice this is."
"Ana, I love that you've come to visit your old man, but what's wrong? I can tell something is bothering you." Dad was always so good at reading me. It made it hard to keep secrets when I was a teenager.
"Everything is just so complicated. I don't know if I can deal with it. Christian is so perplexing. Half the time I don't know which end is up."
"Do you love him, Annie?"
"Yes, I do - more than I thought possible."
"Does he love you?"
"Yeah, he does."
"Do you think he's a good person."
"Absolutely. I don't think he realizes how good he really is."
"So what's the hesitation?"
"It's just that there are so many layers to him. And he has a past."
"Annie, if I know you like I think I do, his layers are probably what made you fall in love him. And we all have a past. It's what makes us who we are." This is why I love talking to Ray.
"Thank you, Daddy. That really helps."
"You're a young woman, Annie and I cherish these times we have. I love spending time with you, don't get me wrong. But you need to get your ass back to Seattle to that man. You guys will work this out. Nobody ever has all the answers."
He's made me laugh. Ray is not known beating around the bush. "OK, OK. I get the picture. I will leave in the morning."
"Good idea, kiddo. Now, would you like to have another beer with your old man?"
"Of course. I'll go get them."
CPOV
I think I'm in shock. This day just went from bad to worse. Anastasia needs time away from me to think. I'm losing her. I know I don't deserve her but I love her. I want to be with her forever. That much I know. I can't believe what an asshole I've been to her about the vows.
I don't know if it's too late but I have to try. I have to make this right. I can't lose her. I will fight for her until the end. Suddenly my phone buzzes with a text.
*Arrived safely at Ray's. ~Ana*
*Thank you for letting me know. I love you.*
*I love you too.*
At least she still loves me. It's not dead in the water. I can fix this. I open my desk drawer and take out a pad of paper and a pen and I start writing.
It's difficult to put everything down but I'm trying my best. I've been scribbling out a lot. I stop to take a break. My neck is stiff and hand is cramping. Shit. It's 3 am already. I need to finish this. I caused her so much pain, I need to make things right.
APOV
Last night with Dad was really nice. He is so uncomplicated, he is often my voice of reason. I haven't done anything like just sitting on the porch with a beer for so long. Now I need to get home to Christian. I ran out on him. I feel terrible - the look on his face is forever burned in my mind.
I left the house when Ray went to his shop at 5 am. Damn, he still gets up at the crack of dawn. I have my travel mug with tea and if traffic is fine I should make it home around 8. Hopefully I won't have missed Christian. This feels like the longest drive I have ever made.
Finally I make it to Escala and pull into my spot. I go into the elevator enter the code for the penthouse. Maybe I should have called to let him know. I guess it's too late now. I get into the apartment and check the kitchen. No one is there, not even Gail. I check the bedroom and it's empty as is the bathroom. I call down to the gym and he's not there. Shit. I've missed him. Smooth, Steele.
Just then something inside my head tells me to check his office. I didn't check in there because it's so quiet. Normally there's noise coming from there. The door is open very slightly. I open it all the way and I peak my head in. Then I see him.
My heart just breaks. He's asleep at his desk. How late was he working? I walk up to him and see a yellow piece of legal paper on his desk. On the top is written "vows". I carefully pick it up to read it.
My beloved Anastasia, I solemnly vow that I will safeguard and hold dear and deep in my heart our union and you...I promise to love you faithfully, forsaking all others, through the good times and the bad, in sickness and health, regardless of where life takes us. I will protect you, trust you, and respect you. I will share your joys and sorrows and comfort you in times of need. I promise to cherish you and uphold your hopes and dreams and keep you safe at my side. All that is mine is now yours. I give you my hand, my heart, and my love from this moment on for as long as we both shall live.
Unwittingly I let out an audible sob when I read this. This is the most beautiful thing I have ever read.
"Ana?" Christian still sounds half asleep. I must have woken him up.
I start to cry again and look at the disheveled man in front of me. "Hi."
"You're back? What time is it?" He's looking around the room confused. I wonder when he fell asleep.
"It's 8. Christian, I'm so sorry for running like that. I love you."
"No, Anastasia. I'm the one who should be apologizing. I acted like a whiny asshole over the vows and I kept things about me that you should have known. I've caused you unnecessary pain."
I can't help anymore. I go over to him and crawl on his lap. He still smells so good. "The vows are… beautiful, Christian. I love them."
"They're true." I move my face up to his to give him a kiss. I need to be close to him. He deepens the kiss curling his arms around me.
"Christian, let's go to bed." He doesn't say anything. He doesn't stop kissing me. He just gets up and carries me to the bedroom.
I can't have him fast enough. I need him now. I need to be close to him. I need to be with him. As we're kissing he moans softly into my mouth and starts to undress me. In return I'm unbuttoning his shirt and pants. We stop kissing with me in my bra and him without a shirt. I look into his eyes. I love him so much it consumes me. Suddenly he takes my hand and brings it towards his chest over his heart. Once I realize what he's doing I try to pull my hand away. I don't want to hurt him.
He shakes his head. "No, Anastasia. I want you to touch me. I need you to." I can tell by the vulnerability in his voice how difficult this is for him. He puts his hand over mine and I can feel his heart beating rapidly. "Ana, I didn't know I was able to love anyone. And then I met you and my whole life came apart at the seams. You've made me laugh and cry, you've frustrated me and you've made me feel so treasured. And I wouldn't trade that for the world. You've given me life that I didn't even know I had. You own this. You own my heart."
I feel tears running down my cheeks. "Christian?"
"Yes, baby?" His voice is barely a whisper.
"Make love to me." He smiles at me.
"You don't have to ask twice."
After we've made love a few times we fall asleep in eachother's arms. Being here, in his arms, is where I'm meant to be.
I wake up and the sun is shining brightly in the bedroom. I look at the clock and am surprised to see it's already noon.
Christian wakes up and looks at me. "This is a good way to wake up." He pulls me in closer and snuggles to me.
"Christian, it's lunch time. Don't you have to go to work?"
"No. Ros can handle it." He hasn't fully opened his eyes yet.
"Then what do you want to do?"
He looks at me and has a wanton smile. "I'd like to finish what we started this morning." With that he growls and rolls on top of me causing me to yelp in surprise.