It took three weeks for her to have it up to here with his attitude and come pounding on his door. Which he did sort of expect after he cancelled another Vikings marathon, although to be fair, he had told her at least four times that he didn't want to watch it to begin with. But after weeks of barely answering her texts and not making plans and pretending to be busy, he did sort of see this coming. He just did not think it would go down while Nick, Jake, and Sig were over watching the game.

But he recognized her habit of slapping on the door with the palm of her hand over and over and over, this rapid-fire pounding until he could open it for her. And he knew she would shove past him as if this was her home, too, and that would be fine any other day, but he said a silent prayer as she stormed inside that she would keep it under control that day.

"I've had just about enough of your shit, Edgar!"

The guys in the living room went completely silent.

"Becs, we can't…"

She used both hands to shove his chest. Hard. Which made him actually a little bit angry, because he really didn't like someone forcing into his house and physically pushing him around. "No, Ed, we're going to talk about this right fucking now. Why are you avoiding me?"

"No, Becs, no, stop…hey, stop pushing me!" He grabbed her wrists when she started lifting her arms just in case she intended to shove him again. "Stop! Calm the hell down. There are…" He wanted to keep yelling at her since she was yelling at him and he really didn't like this mini home invasion, but he forced himself to downgrade to a menacing whisper, which meant that he had to pull her close to him to be heard. "My friends are over watching the Seahawks. And Sig. In the living room."

"I don't…shit…make them leave, Ed."

"No. We can talk about this later."

"No!" She insisted, pulling out of his grasp. "Ed, you've been avoiding me for almost a month, and I'm sure there's a good reason for it, but I don't know why, and I don't know how I'm supposed to fix this if you won't tell me."

"Christ, Becs, no, you didn't do anything. It's me, okay? This is a me thing."

"Oh, it's not you, it's me? That's what you're going with?"

"Can you…" Ed tossed his hands up in defeat. "Can you not do this right now? I'm being honest." So much for convincing her to leave without causing a scene. He could just imagine the three guys scrambling over each other to hear what was going on. "We should go outside."

"No, Ed, whatever. It's a 'you' thing, so I don't even need to know about it anyway. I'll just go the fuck home. Don't worry a damn bit about it."

And she just grabbed the door handle to leave, as if it was that easy to walk out on him. That made him more upset than being shoved or yelled at or any of it. He would not be walked out on. So, he slapped his hand over the door to hold it shut when she tried to open it and, even though she was much stronger than he anticipated, he was able to keep her from pulling it open.

She rolled her eyes and set her jaw like he had only ever seen her do with Sig, and his stomach twisted up at causing that kind of frustration. But he was frustrated, too, and he needed to fix this with her without making it worse with Sig and making Nick and Jake ask questions and this was a mess.

"Look." He pulled up as closely as he could, and she let him press right up to whisper hotly in her ear. And he pretended that he did not notice that her breath hitched at his presence, and he glanced towards the living room to see if they had any visitors before continuing. "This is not easy for me, all right? I care about you so much I don't always know what to do with it all, and knowing that I'm not the only one in the picture is getting to me right now. I need to figure this out."

She took a minute to consider this, licking her lips and taking in the whitewashed doorframe in front of her. "I care about you, too. I'm sorry. I know this is hell. I just forgot that it wouldn't always go smoothly."

NWNWNWNWNWNWNWNWNWNWNWNW

That first fight was over a year ago now, but he still thinks about it sometimes. Not often, but every now and then. It has a way of creeping up on him when he least expects it because, just like he said, he cares so much about her that he does not always know what to do with it all, but then something happens to remind him that he's not the only one and it just sucks. She has been in his world for two and a half years now, but this is the first time he has honored her birthday. He only even knows it is today because her mother pulled him aside last week to tell him, and he feels more than a little stupid for not thinking about it before. She just never brought it up.

When he shows up at the shop with a small purple gift bag and a cake box, she orders him outside because "No food in the shop", which he did sort of expect because she's always so damn anal about keeping it sanitary in there. So, he puts the cake back in the car and comes back in with just the present to watch her finish up the pinup pirate she has been working on for three sessions now. It's on this hulk of a dude, ex-Marine maybe, who talks to Becca and Edgar like they're his oldest friends. Just real friendly, makes it hard not to feel happy around him. And he is thrilled with the finished piece and swears he is going to tell all his friends to use her, which Edgar has learned is always what everyone says but what maybe half of them do.

But what gets him is that, as she's breaking down the station and wiping down the surfaces, the guy gives Edgar a hefty pat on the arm and announces, "You're one lucky son of a bitch, you know that? This lady isn't just the best damn artist on the West Coast, she's one hell of a woman. If you weren't holding her down, an old fool like me might think it was worth taking a chance on her."

And what the hell is he supposed to say to that? Because Becca must have heard, his voice is deep and hearty and booming, but she doesn't react at all, just keeps her back to them and keeps cleaning.

"Well, hey," he laughs and tries to keep it casual, but it feels like he is shaking down in his bones, "I don't know if you can say that anyone holds someone like Becca down. She holds you, you know?"

And the guy laughs like they've shared a big secret and leaves her tip with Edgar, which feels kind of wrong but then also makes perfect sense, and it is just the two of them in the shop. He wants to say that was awkward, but he doesn't, and he wants to ask why she didn't step in, but he doesn't do that, either. Instead, he holds out the wad of cash and mumbles, "Here's your money."

"Thanks! We can afford to go to dinner now!" She snatches the cash from his hands and shoves it in her back pocket as she rushes by to stash some equipment.

"Oh, we're going to dinner?" He raises his eyebrows gamely. "Says who?"

"Says me. You're here for my birthday, right? Did Mom tell you?"

"Mom told me."

She rolls her eyes. "She's got a fat mouth. If you insist on recognizing that I'm one more year closer to dead, we're at least going to do it over tacos."

"Oh, c'mon. I'm significantly closer to dead than you are. Don't whine."

"I'm not whining! I'm…resigning to fate. Now, what'd you get me?"

"Cake, but you made me take it outside."

"Don't whine," she teases, and sticks her tongue out at him. Her cell phone goes off, and he does not miss the way her smile changes when she sees who it is. It doesn't fade or anything, it just…changes. He can't describe how, but he knows.

"Sig?"

"Yeah. Ed, I don't have to…"

"No, it's fine. I should, um…I gotta take a leak anyway." He doesn't, and she knows he doesn't, but they both know it is better this way. He steps into the bathroom and runs the sink and answers that text from Jake and does actually use the toilet and takes his sweet time washing his hands and his face and catching his breath.

When he comes back into the main room, she is sitting on her stool by the counter, staring straight at him. She has supported one elbow on her counter and brushed that hand into her hair to hold her head up, and he can see in the tightness of her jaw that she is tired. Not sleepy, weary.

"Everything ok?"

"I don't know, Ed. You tell me. You're avoiding me again."

"I'm not avoiding you, Becs. I'm here. I brought you cake!"

But she glares at him, so he stops avoiding what she really means. "Edgar, you do this every couple months. Things are just fine between us, and then you start backing off all of a sudden. You bail on plans and won't hang out and leave the room, and you won't tell me why or let me fix it. And just as suddenly as it comes on, it goes away, so I don't know what I'm doing to make you like this."

"Becca, it's your birthday, let's not…"

"Let's. It's my birthday, and I want to understand why someone I care about is hurting, so that's what we're going to do."

He stands no chance of winning a battle of wills when she reminds him that she cares about him, so he takes a seat on the couch. She drags her stool over in front of him so his knees brush against her shins.

"What's going on, Ed? Is it Sig?"

"Of course it's Sig. I know why you're wrapped up, I do. I get it." And he really, truly does. Because he feels like he should walk away from this whole mess, but he is wrapped the hell up in her. "But that doesn't make it easy for me. And there are times when I just don't want to think about what's going on between you two. It's not easy thinking about the person I love in bed with my brother."

"God, Ed, I never thought about…I don't know why I didn't. Shit." She leans back on the stool from the sheer force of realizing exactly what kind of mess she is in, but he does not want her to go away, so he catches her hands to pull her back to him, and she holds on tight. "You have to believe I never want to hurt you. I never wanted any of this."

"What do you want?"

"Honestly? When I found out about his heart attack, and don't judge me for this," like he ever could, "this little part of me hoped that was it. He would have some big epiphany about fucking up his family and leave me in the dust, because I don't want that anymore, Ed. I only want you. But how do I leave him one day and then turn around and show up with you? How does that make this easier?"

It doesn't. It makes it easier for him but not for her, and he knows that, knows that she has no easy way to untangle this web, but he would burn the whole thing down just to hear her say one more time that she only wants him.

"I'm trying to figure it out, Ed. I am. I'm not going to lie to you and say that what I have with Sig is nothing, but it's not the same. It's only physical, but I know that has to still be so hard to hear. But what I have with you is more than that, and you know that. I love you. And I'm going to get us out of this. I just really don't know how. I just know that I am lucky as hell that you've stuck by me this long, and I swear to you that I am not going to waste your time. I promise."

"Becca, even if this all goes to hell, not one second has been a waste of my time. I promise you that." He pulls their joined hands towards him so he can press a soft kiss to her wrist, right on that tiny little wave. "I love you, too, y'know. And I know it's not easy with a grumpy old man who goes out fishing most of the year."

"You are a grump," she agrees, and he gapes in pretend-offense. "But you're a grump that bought me a present and promised to get tacos with me."

She pulls him to his feet as he reminds her, "I actually think you forced me to get tacos with you, but who's keeping track?"

"Shut your trap, grumpy old man, and don't forget to bring that present with us!"