But then life is always full of surprises, isn't it?
Chapter 3: The Confusion
The first thing Tsuna felt when he woke up was remorse. Yesterday, when he had told Kyoko that she would be able to meet her love interest, she smiled so brightly, thanking her best friend over and over again for the favour he had done. Nodding his head, Tsuna only managed to wish her luck. Her eyes kindled with clear ecstasy that Tsuna swore to never bring about his feelings for her. He smiled ruefully at her retreating back, forcing himself to swallow that whenever she was happy, he would also be happy.
Was he feeling remorseful for feeling sad over Kyoko's happiness, or was it the fact that he had even bothered to do her the favour?
Tsuna shook his head. Glancing at his clock, he was surprised for waking up early for once. Tsuna sat on the edge of his bed; he honestly did not want to go to school today. The thought of seeing Kyoko together with another guy pierced his heart through and through.
Finally standing up, Tsuna ambled to the bathroom. He took his time doing his morning routine. After all, there was no need to rush. Once fully dressed, he came down to the dining room, actually feeling somewhat giddy that he was not in a rush for anything. The smell of freshly cooked fish filled the room. His mother can be seen busy frying over the stove. Tsuna hurried to give her a peck on the cheek. "Good morning, Mom."
"Ah, Tsu-kun! You're early today." Nana smiled.
"Surprised?" asked Tsuna teasingly. "Because I was surprised at myself."
She walked towards the table, carrying a plate of eggs, and sat down in front of her son. "Oh? You must be excited for school today. Did something happen?"
With his mind immediately flying to Kyoko and Hibari, Tsuna mumbled, "No, at least nothing good for me."
Nana placed her hand over Tsuna's, a worried gaze painted on her face. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Tsuna smiled at the warmth. Nana was a person he knew he could always rely on. Kind and considerate, warm and welcoming, the person Tsuna really needed the most. But for now, he decided to face his own problems. He was already a burden to his mother; he absolutely needed to man up. "It's fine, nothing serious."
Nana gave him an understanding look. She quickly dwelt in on some of the neighborhood's amusing stories. Tsuna listened attentively while eating. It was times like these that he could say he was really happy, that he was loved, that there was someone who would always be there for him.
Tsuna wished times were always like these.
-x-
The feeling he had when he woke up was returning. Whenever he would look at Kyoko, he could straightaway notice that she wasn't listening to the teacher – obviously daydreaming. Tsuna didn't need to guess a second time to know what she was dreaming about. Soon, Tsuna would feel the mixed emotions of regret, pain, and contentment. Was he a masochist? He begun to question himself. Was he okay with not telling her his true feelings just for her to be happy? Tsuna knew the answer, of course. For her, it would be okay.
With the teacher's dismissal, most of the students heaved relieved sighs. Tsuna immediately glanced at Kyoko. In a few minutes, his heart would be broken. There was no way Hibari would not like Kyoko. She was too perfect, even the violent prefect would no doubt like her.
Tsuna frowned at his thoughts. Time seemed to move extremely slow while he was watching his friend. Her happy smile immediately turned nervous when the bell rang. Fixing her things, she bade her friends good-bye and looked at Tsuna. Nodding, he gave her a thumbs-up sign. Kyoko smiled in return and rushed out of the room.
Half of his mind wanted to follow Kyoko and listen to their conversation, but the other half shouted no: it would only result in heartache. She would probably tell him everything by tomorrow. He imagined both Hibari and Kyoko holding hands. Releasing a sigh, he looked outside the window, melancholy engulfing him. After a moment, he almost screamed out loud when a hand was placed on his shoulder. "Y-Yamamoto! You scared me!"
"Sorry, Tsuna." Yamamoto laughed. "I was wondering why you're still here."
Tsuna glanced at the now empty classroom. "What time is it?"
"It's half past four. Baseball practice just ended."
It's that late already? "I better go home. Bye, Yamamoto."
"Wait, Tsuna. Want to go to my house? We can have sushi."
"Oi, idiot. What's taking you goddamn long?" Gokudera leant on the door sill.
"I was asking Tsuna to come over. The more the merrier, right?"
"So? Is he coming or what?"
T-they're inviting me over? "I-is it really okay to have me?" asked Tsuna. This was the first time someone had invited him to hang out ever since middle school. If he grabbed this chance now, maybe just maybe he would be able to gain friends? Tsuna shook his head. Impossible, they were famous. He was just a below average student who can't do anything right. There was no way anyone would want to be friends with him.
"Of course. We're friends right?" Yamamoto smiled widely.
Friends. Nodding, the Tsuna grabbed his bag. "Is it okay with you, Gokudera-kun?"
Clicking his tongue, Gokudera turned around and started walking. "Let's go already, you idiots!" The two laughed and followed suit.
-x-
Takesushi was not far from their school. Inside, the sushi bar was simple yet looked appealing. Tsuna stood there, admiring his new friend's shop. He never heard from the rumours that Yamamoto's family owned a sushi bar. Maybe it's to avoid Yamamoto's fans? Tsuna grimaced at the thought of high school girls crowding the shop. The man behind the bar seemed to be an older version of Yamamoto. He could easily guess it was his father.
"You brought a new friend, Takeshi?" asked the man.
"Dad, this is Tsuna."
Tsuna nervously smiled at the man. "My name's S-Sawada Tsunayoshi." He bowed.
"Tsuyoshi's the name. There's no need to be so formal, Tsunayoshi." Tsuyoshi laughed. Tsuna had to smile; the resemblance between the two was uncanny. The aura they held was so kind that it felt immensely comforting. "You going up to your room, Takeshi? I'll send up some plates for your friends."
"Thanks, Dad!" Yamamoto faced his friends. "Let's go up." He entered the door at the end of room, revealing a staircase heading up, with Gokudera following. Tsuna, left with no choice but to pursue, went after them. As he slowly ascended, anxiety crept up and down his spine. After a long time, he was inside a friend's house. Tsuna shook his head. Could he really call these guys his friends? Why did they even bother to speak with him? The popular and the useless, the royalty and the slave. Tsuna shook his head once more, deciding to ask them directly instead of being drowned in his own thoughts.
When Tsuna reached the top, a door to his right was visible. The bronze knob all of a sudden seemed so hard to turn. His pale hand quivered as he felt the slight coldness of the metal. Mustering up his courage, Tsuna was about to turn the knob when the door abruptly opened inward. A surprised Yamamoto greeted him, "I was wondering what took you so long. Come on in."
Gulping, Tsuna took a step forward. Another step and he was inside the room. The teen glanced about warily, looking from top to bottom, left and right, until his eyes landed on the two who were sitting on the floor with a low square table in front of them. Based on his observation, the area was practically normal – several famous baseball players' posters were stuck on the beige walls, a bed at the leftmost corner of the room and on its front was a messy study table, a cabinet on Tsuna's right, and there was a bamboo sword underneath the table. For whatever purpose it held, Tsuna had no idea.
"You walk like a turtle. Do you always walk that slow?" Gokudera rolled his eyes.
Tsuna gulped and fastened his pace. He sat on the side which faced Yamamoto, who grinned at him. Silence filled the room, and it didn't help Tsuna's awkwardness one bit. With Yamamoto, he was fine, but Gokudera was extremely intimidating.
Yamamoto stood up. "I should go help out Dad downstairs. You guys wait here, okay?"
Tsuna was about to protest when Yamamoto rushed out of the room. He was left alone now with Gokudera, a person he had never once thought to be acquainted with. Silently, he wanted to scream at Yamamoto for abandoning him.
Twiddling his fingers underneath, Tsuna's eyes roamed everywhere around the room, wanting to avoid contact with Gokudera. He could actually feel the teen's emerald eyes rest on him. Sooner or later, he knew that both of them would break the absence of sound between them.
"He's not on a date this week." And there it was, but the sentence only served to confuse him.
"W-what do you mean?" asked Tsuna, completely baffled.
"You're aiming for a date with baseball-idiot, right? Well, good for you, he still doesn't have one for this week," scoffed Gokudera. "Though I wonder what you guys really see in him."
Tsuna's jaw dropped. A few seconds had passed with his mouth left hanging open when he was finally able to say something, "W-what? I don't want to date Yamamoto! I'm not... I'm straight! I like Kyoko-chan!" Realising his mistake, he covered his mouth with both hands.
"Kyoko? Sasagawa Kyoko? That loudmouth's younger sister? Quite a challenge for you, don't you think?" Gokudera smirked.
Tsuna's face became red from the mockery he was receiving. "I know I'm useless that's why I'm not going to confess. Dame-Tsuna going to confess to Sasagawa Kyoko, the school's idol? That would be a riot." Tsuna laughed sarcastically.
"Then you're more pathetic than I thought you were," snarled Gokudera. "You're not going to confess for such a stupid reason? If you're only going to look down at yourself, then you don't have any right to complain when others look down on you. You belittle yourself, then expect others to belittle you too, you moron. You're actually more dimwitted than that baseball-idiot."
Tsuna held his breath at the abrupt outburst. Having the conversation escalate quickly wasn't what he had expected, much less have the temperamental guy give him advice. "How can I not look down on myself when it's the truth? I'm not smart. I'm not athletic. I'm not good-looking. I'm just... nothing," ended Tsuna lowly.
"Every person has their own assets. You just need to find yours and you'll gain your confidence. Don't just cry on your ass all day. Use those days to actually hone your talents or something."
Laughing at the absurdity of his situation, Tsuna said, "Wow, Gokudera-kun. You're actually a nice person. I was really scared of you at first, but I guess it's true that first impressions aren't really what they're supposed to be."
Gokudera sputtered. "I-I'm not nice, you idiot. I only said that because baseball-idiot told me to be friendly with you."
"Ah, then you and Yamamoto really are close!"
"What the hell?" shouted Gokudera.
"What's all the shouting about?" Yamamoto entered the room, carrying a tray that consisted of plates with a variety of sushi.
"Nothing, Yamamoto." Tsuna snickered. He glanced at Gokudera, who was probably muttering curses at him.
Yamamoto simply shrugged and placed the tray on the table. "I asked Dad to make some sashimi since I knew they were your favourite, Hayato."
Tsuna just smiled and continued eating.
-x-
When Tsuna returned home, a feeling of contentment and bliss filled him. The experience of being with friends had long been forgotten ever since he attained the title of Dame-Tsuna during middle school. He was lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling, a twinkle in his eyes evident. A replay of today's event kept running in his mind. He couldn't help it. It had been a long time.
A ring from his cellphone snapped him out of his brooding. No names entered his mind on whoever wanted to contact him. Standing up, he walked toward his table and picked up his phone.
Sasagawa Kyoko calling.
Tsuna wanted to hit himself. He was so into his early nirvana that he had forgotten about Kyoko's situation. His emotions turned over in an instant and he felt bitterness and nervousness overwhelm him once more.
"Tsuna-kun?"
"How was the meeting?" asked Tsuna, preparing himself mentally for the heartache he was about to receive. Almost a minute had passed and Kyoko still hadn't answered back. Tsuna spoke again, "Kyoko-chan? Are you still there?"
"You know, Tsuna-kun, you never told either of us where to meet, and silly me just rushed out of the room."
Tsuna gasped. "You're right. I'm so sorry. I was in a rush and my mind wasn't really—"
"He told me he was dating someone already."
"Eh? Why would he agree to meet you when he was already dating someone? That... that...," muttered Tsuna angrily. How dare that man waste Kyoko's effort and time. But underneath his anger, there was a tinge of giddiness. Tsuna felt bad about feeling happy for her loss. He was her friend; he was supposed to support her. He slowly exhaled. "Did he tell you whom he was dating?"
"I asked him, but he told me that Vongola's date names were confidential." Kyoko sighed. "And just when I had the chance. I guess it's hard liking someone so popular, eh, Tsuna-kun?"
I know the feeling. He frowned. "So what are your plans? Are you going to try again?"
"Of course I would!" answered Kyoko firmly. "I just need to meet him again next week Thursday since that's the day he said the week will end. And anyway, I don't want to waste your effort for making him meet me. I'll try hard. I promise!"
"That's great to hear!" Tsuna forced a smile.
"I've got to go now. My brother looks like he's going to break all the plates he's washing. See you tomorrow!"
Tsuna placed his phone down. He felt torn. Should he be selfish and feel glad that it didn't go well for her? Or should he be the good and loyal friend he is and continue to support her? Shaking his head, he'll just go with the flow for now. Emotions could really tire a person out.
-x-
The sound of knocking woke him up. Tsuna could hear his mother calling him. With a grunt, he stood up and opened his door, surprised to see his mother. "What's with the grin, Mom?"
Nana waggled her index finger in front of him, making shushing noises. "You never told me. That's kind of mean, Tsu-kun." She pouted.
"Tell you what?"
"That you had a boyfriend! A handsome one at that. Mama is so proud!" Nana smiled. "Now hurry and get dressed, he's already at the table." She hurried down again, leaving Tsuna very, very confused.
Hastily putting his clothes on, Tsuna rushed down to the kitchen, only to be met with great and utter horror. There he was seating on the chair, calmly eating a strip of bacon. Tsuna could only gape in trepidation.
Hibari Kyouya was in his house.