The Long And Winding Road

Chapter 39 - It Don't Come Easy

"JT!" Ellie called out once she noticed the young man approaching her table at the library. "You're back!"

"No, Ellie. This is my front." JT smiled then turned his back to her. "Now you're seeing my back."

"I'm just surprised to see you again tonight. You only left a half hour ago."

"I didn't feel like staying around in that house all by myself," JT explained as he turned back around to face her.

"Didn't things go well when you tried to talk to Emma again?"

"Let's not talk about that."

"JT, I hope you won't think me selfish if I say that I'm not sorry and that I'm happy to see you again."

"Selfish? How could I think that of you? Some people would say I don't know the meanings of lots of words, but I know that 'selfish' would not apply to you."

"You scare me, JT."

"Me?"

"I shouldn't have these feelings that I've been developing for you."

"What feelings are those, Ellie?"

"Deep understanding. As though we're the only two real people and everyone else is a simulation of what society expects from us."

"Sounds like the plot for an interesting film. And don't look now, but we ARE the only two people. At least the only two people in this part of the building."

"I hugged you before," Ellie said quietly.

"I remember."

"It wasn't something I'd planned to do."

"Not being the touchy-feely hugging type. Yes, I understand. It was a friendly gesture on your part."

"Yes. I didn't mean it as anything but friendly."

"It was very helpful to me, Ellie. I thank you for it."

"Only, right now…I have this urge to kiss you. And not as a friendly gesture."

"I see," JT responded, looking as though he was trying to process this new information.

Ellie stood up from the table and directly faced JT.

"It's wrong, JT. I realize this."

"And yet I don't see you putting on the brakes, Ellie."

Ellie slowly moved in closer toward JT. She stood on her tiptoes to get closer to his face. Then she gradually moved her lips toward his until they almost touched.

"Ellie?" JT interrupted suddenly before she could kiss him. "Why is there a blue giraffe wandering past the table behind you?"

"What?" she asked, now in a state of confusion. She turned around and saw that there was indeed this unusually colored long-necked animal walking by between her and the table.

"Ellie," another voice called out.

Ellie mumbled an inaudible response.

"Nash!" the voice – a woman's – grew louder as Ellie felt a tug on one of her shoulders. "Wake up."

Ellie slowly opened her eyes and, after some initial blurriness, noticed her friend and dorm roommate Ashley Kerwin standing at her bedside, leaning over her.

"What…?" Ellie asked, still not quite awake.

"For somebody so into taking early morning classes," Ashley said, "you're starting to act like every other college student around here. You've already punched your snooze button twice and now you were starting to make sounds."

"Must have been dreaming."

"That much was obvious. You got in late last night. Another long evening at the library?"

"Yeah," Ellie replied, now starting to wake up. "A friend came by and we talked for awhile. Then after he left, I kept on reading and before I knew it, it was closing time and I had to leave."

"You said your friend was a 'he'. Interesting. Anyone I know?"

Ellie looked at her clock and quickly got out of her bed.

"Thanks for the personal wake-up call, Ash. I'd better hurry up and get dressed so I'm not late for class."

Without answering Ashley's question, she went into their bathroom and splashed cold water on her face.

'I can't believe I dreamed that he came back later,' she thought. 'And that I started to…Get a grip, Ellie. Welcome back to reality, as unappealing as it can sometimes be.'

Later on, while Ellie attended her first university course, the first class of the day at DCS ended. Sean and JT exited English, talking as they walked down the hallway to get to Sean's locker.

"So, Mr. Executive," Sean started, "does this mean we now have to go around calling you 'Sir' and bowing down before you?"

"I've been trying to get you to do that for years, Sean, and it hasn't worked so far. 'Mr. Yorke' will do nicely. Oh and maybe the occasional curtsy."

"It's going to be a lot to handle," Sean then said on a more serious note.

"I know."

"You'll make it work."

"Is that a question?"

"No. A statement of fact. It's going to be great."

"Thanks."

"Just don't forget about us once you're an official business tycoon, JT."

"What was your name again?"

They both laughed.

"So how did Emma take it?" Sean asked while putting some books in his locker. "You know, now that you've found what you want to do and you're not doing the whole college thing."

"She took it quite well actually," JT replied.

"That's great."

"And by quite well, I mean she let me know I was a complete failure."

"What?" Sean questioned in surprise.

"And a monumental disappointment to the human race," JT added.

"Are you serious?"

"Oh and my personal favorite – a big stupidhead."

At this, Sean rolled his eyes.

"What happened, JT? Did Emma suddenly attend the Spinner Mason School of Lame Comebacks?"

"Okay, maybe she didn't say those things."

"I didn't think so."

"But that's what she meant. The look on her face, Sean…you'd have thought I had just confessed to burning down a rainforest."

"I'm sure you're still exaggerating."

"Maybe. But not by that much."

"You told her your plans. She was surprised. It's a new day, JT. Try again."

"I want to. I was planning to. But then I got home last night and she left this message on my machine demanding we talk some more last night."

"And?"

"And as disappointed as I was by her reaction and as much as I wanted to talk to her and make things right, I wasn't going to let her bully me."

"So you didn't call her back."

"You got it. Do you know how tough that was? I've never not called her back when she's asked me to."

"If there had ever been any doubt in my mind whether or not you two were made for each other, this would have cured me."

"What are you talking about?"

"You're both dying to do the right thing and make things work, but you're both so damn stubborn that you let stupid stuff get in the way."

"Hey!"

"Fix it, JT. You know you want to."

"Of course I do, but…"

"And it looks like she wants to, also."

Sean pointed down the hallway to where JT's locker was located. Emma was standing nearby.

"Of course she's over there. We always meet up by my locker and walk to Math together."

"You've got a few minutes before class starts, JT. Make 'em count."

"Okay. Might as well give it a shot."

"Good. Now I've got my own class to get to. I'll talk to you later."

"See you, Sean."

After Sean left in the opposite direction, JT walked down the hall to his locker.

"Hey Emma."

"He speaks!" Emma exclaimed in mock surprise. "I was beginning to think you'd forgotten how."

JT rolled his eyes, annoyed that she was already starting in on him.

"Well, it's not like I've been given a chance to say all that much lately," he commented while grabbing a book from his locker.

"You barely said a word during homeroom."

"Last minute studying for the English quiz, which by the way I think I aced."

"That's good, JT," Emma said, her expression changing from annoyance to happiness. "I'm proud of you."

"Uh-huh."

"Don't sound so surprised."

"We'd better get to class, Emma."

"JT, is your answering machine broken?"

"It was fine the last time I checked. Why?"

"I left you a message last night. You were supposed to call me back, but since you didn't I figured either the machine was on the fritz, or you didn't check your messages when you got in."

"Supposed to call you back? What am I, a JT doll with a string connected to my back? You pull the string, and I do exactly what you want every time, no questions asked?"

"That's not what I mean, JT."

"Don't worry, Emma. I got your message last night. Loud and clear."

"And…?"

"'We're not done talking. Call me back.' Nice orders, Emma, but I wasn't ready for another lecture."

"What about the rest of the message? Didn't you listen to the rest of it?"

"There was more? Oh well. Probably more of the same. I was just about to call you last night, then I heard that message. Or the first part of it. Whatever. But after our argument earlier, then talking with Ellie, who was - believe it or not – happy about my news, I wasn't in the mood to talk to Nancy Negative again last night."

"Ellie? As in Ellie Nash?"

"She's the only Ellie I know."

"Why would you care about telling her anything? I know she's a friend of yours – and why that is, I'll never understand – but I didn't know you cared enough to tell her about your news right away."

"Why not? She was there when I decided to go find Sal and make him the offer."

"There? Wait. You mean, SHE'S the friend you were referring to as helping you make this decision."

"She helped me step back and decide for myself what I wanted to do with my life, but the decision to buy TMD was all mine."

"Great! Have you confided in her everything about your life? Does she know the location of your secret stash of emergency doughnuts?"

"I didn't confide anything. There wasn't anything secretive. I don't keep secrets. And anything I've told her in the last day is something that I'd either already told you or at least tried to tell you. You have nothing to be jealous about, which you ought to know by now."

"I'm not jealous," Emma protested.

"I'm glad," JT replied.

"You still should have listened to the rest of my message.

"Okay. What else did you say?"

"I don't feel like talking anymore right now," Emma replied.

"Wait. You left a message to say we're not done talking and then added that you don't feel like talking anymore?"

"No! I'm saying there was more to my message, but right at this moment I don't feel like talking anymore."

"So you're saying you said you had something to say, not that you wanted to say you had nothing to say. And now you have nothing to say which isn't to say you have nothing more to say. Just nothing to say at this particular moment. Or did I say that wrong?"

"We've both said enough for now, JT."

"Okay, say no more. We have to get to class anyway."

"Fine," she said.

"Fine," he repeated back at her.

They walked to Math together in silence. As the morning progressed they said very little to one another. Later, in their MI class, Liberty noticed the couple occasionally looking at one another, almost speaking but never quite saying anything.

"Okay, guys" Simpson spoke to his class, "we're about out of time for the day, so just use the rest of the time for independent Internet research."

"Look at them," Liberty told Patrick, who sat at the computer station next to hers.

"Who?" Patrick asked, though he already had an idea.

"JT and Emma, of course."

"Of course," Patrick said sarcastically. "What about them?"

"Something's not right, Patrick."

"Maybe it's that they don't like being spied on."

"They haven't even noticed me looking in their direction. And it's not spying."

"It's not?"

"It's called being a concerned friend."

"Liberty," Patrick began, trying to change the subject, "care to join me for lunch in the caf when we get out of class?"

Liberty, continuing to keep an eye on the nearby couple, didn't respond.

"You know. Just us."

She still didn't react.

"You can even tell me all about the differences between spying and concerned friendly staring," he continued.

Liberty then turned and looked at Patrick.

"I'm sorry. Did you say something?"

"Never mind," he replied, feeling defeated.

"When he told me the news this morning, he didn't say how Emma reacted. I suppose this could qualify as a reaction. Wait. You did hear about JT's purchase of TMD, didn't you, Patrick?"

"Sure. Sal told me last night before I left."

"That's good. If JT had been waiting to surprise you, I'd hate to think I spoiled it for him."

"When Sal started by saying that there were going to be some big changes coming up in a few weeks, I was afraid he was about to tell me that a bunch of us were getting fired."

"What do you think about it?"

"It's good news. If anyone can make that place noticed by more people, it's JT. I'm just sorry he didn't say anything to me himself yesterday. The four of us could have gone out and celebrated last night."

"If I know JT…" Liberty started.

'If?" Patrick interjected, unable to keep the sarcastic tone out of his voice.

"…He was more in the mood for a private celebration with Emma," Liberty finished her statement, not noticing that Patrick had even said anything.

The bell then rang.

"And that's all she wrote, folks," Simpson said. "Have a good one, and don't forget there's a test on Thursday."

Most of the students gradually gathered their belongings and left the room. Emma looked at JT, who was putting a notebook in his bookbag.

"JT," she finally spoke, "I…"

"JT," Simpson interrupted, walking over toward the couple. "Emma told me about your purchase."

"Oh?" JT asked, starting to feel uncomfortable.

"Congratulations, son. I'm proud of you. You're going to do great things with that theater, I know."

Simpson shook JT's hand.

"Thanks, Mr. Simpson," JT responded, relieved and pleased by the man's reaction.

"Any chance of a friends and family discount rate?" the teacher asked.

JT laughed.

"No promises."

"Going corporate already," Simpson joked. "That wasn't supposed to happen for at least a week. See you two later."

"It's nice to know that at least your dad's happy for me," JT said to Emma once Simpson had left the room to go get some lunch. "I only wish that you could feel the same way."

"I suppose you could go and try to find Ellie Nash at the piercing shop, tattoo parlor or other favorite hang-outs of self-involved pseudo-punk children such as herself. Maybe she'll be able to comfort you, since you apparently enjoy her company so much."

"So you ARE jealous."

"That's true, JT," Emma replied sarcastically. "You caught me. I am extremely jealous. You see, I'm one of those people who can never find a good rubber band when I need one, and we all know she doesn't have that problem. So I wish I could be her."

"Nice. That's really nice, Emma. I'll see you later."

Annoyed, JT grabbed his bookbag and left the room. A few moments later, Emma left as well.

"We should do something," Liberty said to Patrick as they continued to sit in the classroom.

"My thoughts exactly. About lunch…"

"No, I mean we should do something about them."

"The best thing we can do is stay out of their business."

"How can you say that Patrick? You were the one who suggested to me that we help get them together last Fall."

"That's because getting together romantically was clearly what they both wanted, but they were having a difficult time getting up the nerve to talk to each other about it. So we helped make an opportunity where they'd gladly deal with one another rather than put up with either of us, since we were pretending to be the dates from Hell. But we can't go around refereeing just because they're having a disagreement about something. Couples fight sometimes. I don't think they've even had a real fight as a couple until now. They'll work it out."

"But…"

"And if they don't," Patrick continued, "then that's also up to them. Not me. And certainly not you."

"What do you mean 'certainly' not me?"

"Let's just say I don't think you could look at the situation objectively."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning you'll take a side. And for you, when one of those sides happens to belong to JT, all your objectivity goes out the window."

"In case you hadn't noticed, they're both my friends."

"I know. But when in doubt, you're going to go with your heart. And your heart will always lean toward him, no matter what."

"Do you know how laughable that is, Patrick? JT is my best friend. I stopped having romantic notions about him a long time ago. In case you've forgotten, I was even in a relationship with Roger that lasted for quite awhile."

"I'm not saying you're in love with JT or anything. I wasn't around back when you felt that way about him, so I can't say what you were like, but I truly believe you gave up on that. I know you care about JT and Emma staying together, so it's obvious you want things to work for them."

"Then what's your point?"

"That even though you're not in love with him, you hold him up on this pedestal and compare every other guy to him. None of us stands a chance with you because you're looking for a JT substitute. Someone who's just like him, that you can have for your very own."

"Patrick, I hope you're not planning to major in psychology because that is the most preposterous theory I have ever heard…and that's taking into account all the years I've had to listen to Manny's thoughts about life."

"Then prove me wrong, Liberty. Go out with me sometime. And I don't mean as friends. I'm talking a real date."

"First, I have nothing to prove. Second, I told you weeks ago that I didn't think it would be a good idea for us to date. We work better as friends."

"And third," Patrick interjected, "you're afraid that you WOULD have a good time with me. And since I'm not a carbon copy of JT, if you really enjoyed yourself with me then you might have to start letting go of this idea that you should have your own personal JT-type, and accept what someone else can offer. We both know that you don't like that possibility."

There was a moment of silence between them until Liberty finally spoke.

"So what you're saying, Patrick, is that you aren't going to help me get these two to communicate properly."

"That's all you took from this conversation?"

"That, as well as the possibility that I owe JT an apology. If I was as unwilling to accept his refusal to date me back then as you are with me in the present, then it's no wonder he used to find me annoying at times."

Liberty grabbed her books and started toward the door just as Sean came into the lab to get some work done on one of the computers.

"Hi Liberty."

"No time to exchange pleasantries, Cameron. I'm a woman on a mission."

She then left the room while Sean took a seat at one of the terminals.

"That's what I like about her," he said to nobody in particular. "She always makes time to give people a cheerful greeting."

Notes: Thanks for the great feedback on Chapter 38.

luvdegrassi12345 – I hope so, too.
Agel15 – Thanks. I'm glad you were able to get caught up.
fcms1163 – Yes, that message ended up causing more trouble rather than helping.
Neviegirl – Glad to see you're still reading.
spider-man-fan – Thanks. Ellie didn't expect to hug him, either. Thus, her follow-up shyness and attempt to apologize.
unleashmysoul – Welcome! It's always nice to hear from new readers. It's great that you kept reading nonstop until you finished the most recent chapter. As you can now see, Patrick hasn't been forgotten.