The Long And Winding Road
Note: Thanks for the Chapter 42 feedback.
Chapter 43 - Wishing Well
Early Friday afternoon, Ashley and Ellie walked across the university campus heading toward the cafeteria.
"Okay," Ashley said. "After lunch, just one more class and then I'm free until Monday. Tell me again what possessed me to sign up for a course that included showing up on Friday afternoons."
Ellie said nothing as they continued to walk.
"Considering you're done for the day," Ashley spoke again, "you're nice not to gloat over my misfortune."
She noticed that her friend's mind seemed to be elsewhere.
"So, do you know what you're planning to get for lunch, Ell?"
Ellie remained silent.
"Yes, well I'm thinking of exploring my dark side again," Ashley said in the hopes of getting Ellie's attention. "Maybe order some raw meat. Then wash it down with some goat's blood. What do you think about that, Nash?"
"Uh-huh," Ellie finally spoke, though not really paying attention. "Sounds like a plan."
"Earth to Ellie. Do you copy?"
Ellie finally looked over at her friend.
"Huh?" she asked, confused.
"Your body's moving, but I think you left your head someplace else. You haven't been listening to a word I've said."
"Sorry."
"You okay?"
"Of course," Ellie replied. "Why?"
"You've just seemed a little distracted the last few days."
"No I haven't."
"I'm not saying it's been happening all the time, but every once in awhile. It's like sometimes you've just been going through the motions."
"As opposed to my usual bubbly personality?" Ellie asked sarcastically.
"You know what I mean."
"It's nothing, Ash."
"Whenever Ellie Nash says something is nothing, it's something. Spill it."
"It's just…Well…There's this guy."
"I knew it," Ashley said.
"Great, so on top of everything else, I'm predictable."
"No. It's just that the last time I remember you acting this distracted was back when you were bashfully sneaking glances at Marco."
"That was a long time ago."
"So who's the lucky guy? Is it the one you were dreaming about the other morning?"
"Ash…"
"It's Chad, isn't it?"
"You've got to be kidding."
"That blind date I set you up on awhile back went better than you wanted to admit."
"Trust me. It didn't. And I haven't changed my mind about not letting you fix me up ever again. Hey, but who am I to talk? So many of the guys I've met around here are…run of the mill. Why is it that the only guys I ever really connect with are the ones I can't have?"
"God, Ell! This one's not gay too, is he?"
"Shut up," Ellie replied, rolling her eyes.
"Then what's the problem?"
"It would be wrong," Ellie replied
"Approaching someone you like and asking him out is wrong?"
"For a lot of reasons."
"Such as?" Ashley questioned.
"Well…For one thing, I'm not even sure I like him in that way. As more than a friend. I just feel a connection. But having a connection with someone doesn't mean there's anything more to it or that there SHOULD be anything more to it."
"You're protesting a little too much, Ell. So, do I know this friend?"
"He…doesn't go to school here. But we've been friends for awhile."
"Curiouser and curiouser."
"We're different, yet not all that different. He gets me. Ashley, do you know how rare it is for me to find someone like that, friend or otherwise? And I get him, too, I think."
"And how long have you had the crush on this mystery friend?"
"Do NOT call it a crush. I'm not some 12-year-old doodling his name in my notebook."
"You don't have to be like that to have a crush on someone. But okay, how about 'infatuation' instead?"
"I suppose that term isn't completely ridiculous. And the answer is…I'm not sure. I guess it's been building up slowly over time. If I had to pin it down, maybe it started on Christmas Day."
"You were at the house all day with me and my mom. When did you…?"
"I ran into him while I was out jogging that morning. Okay, I didn't literally run into him. You know what I mean. We talked like we usually do. Nothing out of the ordinary. But…I don't know. It was nice. He was nice. Anyway, he's understandably never thought of me as anything but a friend, so this whole discussion is pointless."
"What do you mean by 'understandably?'"
"Nothing."
"Ellie…"
"I meant nothing. I'm just babbling. Don't mind me."
"Well, don't forget we have that party to go to tonight."
"You mean the party that YOU'RE going to," Ellie corrected. "I'm not interested."
"It'll be fun. Why not ask this guy to escort you? If you're nervous, just tell him it's an outing as friends, not a date."
"Again, it would be wrong. And besides that, he's probably working. Or has other plans depending on how things worked out between him and…"
"Huh?"
"Never mind."
"Okay, but if you want my advice, you should tell him how you feel."
"I told you that I don't know how I feel."
"Then tell him that. If nothing happens, nothing happens."
"Why are you telling me to do this? You don't even know who I'm talking about."
"I don't need to know…even though I'm curious. You have good judgment. Well, reasonably good judgment, at least. As for why I'm telling you to approach him, well, any guy that's able to distract you and inspire you to dream…that's not someone you should pass up without at least taking a chance."
"But…"
"Anyway," Ashley interrupted Ellie's objection, "if it doesn't pan out, you've still got the friendship with him. And it's not like there isn't a campus full of guys right here, one of whom would surely connect with you if you gave him a fighting chance. You know, rather than deciding the moment you meet someone new that it would never work."
"I don't do that."
"Oh no?"
"I give them at least 30 seconds."
Ashley shook her head.
"Ashley, can I help it if most of them usually say something incredibly stupid right after 'Hello?' Most of the time before they even get to 'Hello.'"
At this point, they reached the outside of the building that housed the cafeteria.
"So, Ell, what's it going to be?"
That evening at TMD, JT was at his desk in the main office studying some papers when Patrick walked in.
"What are you working on?" Patrick asked.
"Looking over some contracts. I want to know how long I have left before it's time to renew the various deals Sal's made. Suppliers. Food services. That sort of thing. I'm going to want to talk to people at each of these companies over the next few months. Maybe I can get us some better deals."
"You're not wasting any time."
"The hardest part of all of this is going to be waiting a few more weeks before the place is all mine," JT explained. "I want to make sure I'm ready so that when the time comes I can hit the ground running."
"You already know this place backwards and forwards," Patrick assured him.
"But I've never been in on the deals."
"Since you've never had much problem taking chances and going after what you want, I think you'll do fine."
"We'll see."
"And since you're good at convincing people to do things, you're sure to get the deals you want."
"Save the kissing up, Pat. For now, Sal's still the one who authorizes raises."
Patrick laughed.
"No kissing up, JT. I just know you have a way of talking people into things, that's all."
"Well, I don't like to brag. Oh wait…Yes I do."
"You haven't given me your reaction yet."
"To what?"
"Liberty and I kissed for the first time Tuesday night."
"Oh?"
"But I'm sure you already know."
"No, I didn't know that."
"Liberty didn't say anything to you about it?"
"It's news to me."
"Oh," Patrick replied, surprised and a little disappointed. "Okay. Well, we did. Or rather I did. I kissed her. Startled her. She didn't kiss me back or anything, but she didn't object either."
"Okay."
"Only she hasn't said anything about it since that night. I guess she's just sorting the idea out in her head."
"Probably."
"You're SURE she didn't mention anything about our conversation to you? Or about the fact that it ended in a kiss?"
"Not a word."
"Oh. Hey, maybe she's just not the kiss-and-tell type. She probably didn't say anything back when she and Roger first got together, either. Right?"
"No, actually we couldn't get her to stop talking about it."
"I see."
"Don't let it get to you, Pat."
"I'm not. But could you do me a favor, JT?"
"What's that?"
"I think she's still on the fence about giving me a chance. Maybe you could talk to her. Give her a little encouragement. Tell her you think we'd make a good couple."
"We would? You and me?"
"No! Her and me. Me and her."
"Now I'm all heartbroken," JT said sarcastically.
"Look, you're closer to Liberty than anybody else at Degrassi is."
"I don't think anyone's ever really taken a poll on the matter."
"She'll listen to you. Believe me, I have no doubts about that."
"Pat…"
"I wouldn't ask you to get involved, JT, but this is important. And you're a major influence on her."
"Not a good idea," JT responded. "Trust me. If and when she's ready, she'll let you know. You say that you kissed her. So now the next step is up to her. Step on her toes and she's liable to kick you."
"It's been a couple of days."
"So what? If you've already decided she's not worth waiting for, then you probably don't need for this to happen anyway."
Patrick let out a heavy sigh.
"I hate it when you're right," he told JT.
"What, you mean you're not used to it by now?"
"Okay, I'll give her time. No pushing her."
"Wise choice. Was there anything else?"
"No. I've still got a few minutes left on my break. I'm gonna get a Coke. You want anything?"
"No, I'm good."
JT returned to looking at the documents. As Patrick left the office and started walking back toward the concession area, newly arrived Ellie walked up to him.
"Excuse me, is JT here tonight?"
"He's in the office," Patrick replied. "Want me to go and get…"
"No thanks," she interrupted. "I'll find him."
'Why am I nervous?' Ellie thought to herself as she slowly made her way toward the office she had visited on numerous prior occasions. 'I don't get nervous talking to most people. Especially him. Anyway, I'm just here to follow up on how things went after he left the library the other night. And to see how things are going now. Nothing out of the ordinary.'
Ellie reached the open door to the office and saw JT sitting at the desk.
"How does it feel?" she asked.
JT looked up and smiled when he saw Ellie standing in the doorway.
"How does what feel?" he responded.
"Sitting there, knowing that this great place is now yours."
"It's still sinking in. Come on in and pull up a chair."
"Thanks," Ellie said as she walked into the room and sat down.
"So, what are you here to see tonight – the drama or the documentary?"
"Neither one. I wanted to see how things turned out since the last time we talked."
"Yeah, things have been kinda hectic the last few days or I'd have let you know sooner."
"Not that I'm trying to be nosy," Ellie added.
"I know that. But you were with me when I decided to buy this place. And then I let you in on Emma's reaction to the news. It's only right that you hear how things have been going since then."
"What are friends for?"
"Exactly."
"So after you left the library…?"
"Nothing ended up happening that night," JT explained. "Then the next day, trying to settle things only made matters worse."
"I'm sorry."
"It's okay. That afternoon, we sat alone together and sorted everything out, without all the arguments and miscommunication we'd been having. We both apologized for things we'd done, not to mention things we hadn't done but should have done. And everything's been good since then."
"Good meaning that she still doesn't approve but is putting up with it for your sake? Or good meaning that she really believes in what you plan to do?"
"The second one. Emma understands that this is what's right for me, and she's backing me up all the way."
"I'm happy things worked out, JT."
"Thanks, Ellie. And thanks for everything else. But enough about me…as great a topic as that is. What's going on with Ellie Nash?"
"Staying busy as usual. And Ashley was trying to get me to go to some lame party tonight."
"Let me guess. You responded by making a face that looked like you thought she was out of her mind."
"That's a fairly accurate description."
"I don't know, though," JT said with a tone of mock sincerity. "Lurking way, way beneath the cynical outer shell of Ellie Nash is a party animal just longing to be set free."
"Okay, JT, whatever it is you're smoking can't possibly be legal."
They both laughed.
"At least she's not trying to fix you up again," JT commented.
"I think she was hoping I might already have someone in mind."
"Someone in particular?"
"Very particular," Ellie replied. "But it would never work. He's never going to see me in…that certain way."
"Hey, what kind of talk is that?"
"The realistic kind."
"Ellie, I didn't know you were even interested in anyone right now. Of course, lately most of our non-movie-related talks have been about me, Emma and this place."
"It caught me by surprise, too." Ellie then paused for a moment before speaking again. "JT, do you mind if I ask you something?"
"I believe you just did."
"I mean besides asking if I can ask you something."
"Oh," JT this time noticed the seriousness of her request. "Sure, go ahead."
"If you and her…Emma…hadn't been able to work things out, what do you think you would have done?"
"If there was no other way, I would have found another buyer for this place."
"Okay, I know you were talking like that in the library that night, but I thought that was just the emotions of the moment talking. You mean to say you really would have given this place up?"
"Yeah."
"But in that hypothetical situation, you don't think it would have been better to keep the theater and find someone else who would be more likely to appreciate you rather than stick with someone who would pressure you to give up a dream?"
"Ellie, what good is the dream if the one you care about more than anything isn't there to be a part of it?"
Ellie could see the sincerity on his face and hear it in his voice. It wasn't a surprise to her, but the expression of deep commitment to Emma on his part still made more of an impression on her than she had expected.
"That's a good point, JT. A very good point. She's…a very lucky girl."
"Lucky for both of us that everything DID work out, so I didn't need to make that choice. And now you and I have drifted off point. We were supposed to be talking about you and this guy you're interested in."
"Guy? Oh. Yes. The guy. He's just…some guy I see around every now and then. I'm sure the feeling will pass."
"You're not going to pursue it?"
"I don't think there's much point."
"That's too bad, Ellie. His loss."
"No big deal. It's not like I…feel a strong connection to him."
"Maybe you should go to that party anyway."
"Yeah, right."
"You've told me that the library closes early on Fridays, so you can't go there. Anyway, who wants to be alone on Friday night?"
"But still…"
"I know," JT interrupted. "It involves socializing with people you'd rather not know. But think of it as an opportunity to keep your sarcasm sharp. You know there's got to be plenty of snark-worthy people and situations there. Then you can tell me all about how ridiculous the event was next time we talk."
"Now that is a good reason to go. You're actually selling me on this silly college party. Are you sure you weren't a used car salesman in a previous life."
"No, but I sold used camels in ancient Egypt. And even back then, asking someone if they wanted one hump or two was a risky situation."
"I guess I'll give it a shot."
"Just don't end up standing in a corner by yourself. Interact. Mingle. And if you get bored, make a game out of seeing how many times you can hurl an insult without the people realizing they're being insulted."
"That's always fun."
Ellie stood up to leave. JT then stood up as well.
"That's good about you and her…Emma…straightening things out. See? I told you not to give up on trying to work it all out."
"That you did. Thanks for the visit. See you next week? We've got some good features lined up."
"Wouldn't miss them. Talk to you soon."
"Bye Ellie."
Ellie left the office and took a drink from a nearby water fountain. She then continued to stand beside the fountain.
'It wasn't anything I didn't expect,' she thought. 'He's tied to her. I can't imagine him leaving her for any reason, much less another person. I may not be exactly sure about these feelings I have, but I definitely know what his are. Emma equals love of his life – whether she appreciates him or not. Me equals friend. Not that just staying friends with him is bad. Far from it.'
She looked down the hallway and saw the restrooms. Then she looked down at her arms.
'Not that long ago, this kind of disappointment would have sent me…But no. Not now. I haven't even felt the need to wear the bands much anymore. I won't go back to old habits. I'll probably need to do some major jogging tomorrow to get rid of the tension, but I'm going to be okay. I know it. I've got too much that's good to want to do that to myself again.
'Besides, whatever these newer feelings for him have been, they'll go away. The feelings for Marco went away and we never stopped being good friends. It'll be the same way with JT.'
Ellie then resumed walking and exited the theater. Once outside, she again looked down at her arms.
'Forget the party. I should get back to the dorm.'
Back in his office, JT made a phone call soon after Ellie left.
"Hey Emma," he greeted his girlfriend after she picked up.
"Hey yourself," Emma replied, having answered the phone in her kitchen. "This is a nice surprise."
"Sorry to take you away from your night of masochism," he joked.
"You mean Girls Night, watching DVDs of films you couldn't sit through for five minutes without making a sarcastic comment?"
"Same thing, only I used less words."
"Very funny. Anyway, Manny, Courtney and Liberty are a much more appreciative audience for these shows than you, though they're not nearly as much fun to sit with in the dark."
JT laughed.
"How's work going?" she asked.
"Normal-sized crowd for a Friday."
"That's good."
"We're really lucky, Emma," he said, taking on a more serious tone.
"How's that?"
"It seems like a lot of people either don't know what they want, or they know but don't know what to do about it. With you and me…there's no doubt in my mind. The two of us – we've got something really good. I know none of this is news, but I felt like saying it anyway."
"In a minute you're going to make me cry more than those movies could."
"Ah, then my work there is done! Anything to save you from the misery of bad cinema."
Emma laughed.
"I guess I should let you get back to the weeping festival."
"JT, wait."
"Yeah?"
"I was thinking."
"When aren't you thinking?"
"Ahem."
"Sorry, Emma. Continue."
"First, stop smirking."
"Me? Smirking?"
"JT…"
"Okay, okay. I am now completely smirk-free. It's like you can see me through the phone lines or something."
"Your idea Monday morning was a good one."
"I know. That's why I went ahead with it."
"Yeah, but right now I'm talking about the first idea. The one I bit your head off about when you suggested it. You're right. Maybe it IS time to give Stouffville another try."
"But I thought…"
"…That I wasn't ready to try again. Afraid of another disappointment. Afraid to be around him. That's all true. I still am, at least a little. But I don't like being afraid of anything."
"This I know very well."
"So sometime in the next few weeks, before things get really hectic for you as you finalize the sale, I'd like us to go back there."
"I'm ready whenever you are. No pressure. Just as long as you don't leave me alone with the creepy people in white coats again."
"Promise. Hey, they're yelling for me to get back into the other room. I'd better go. Call me when you get home from work."
"Will do."
"Oh, and you're right that it's not news to me. We ARE very lucky to have what we have, JT. But it's always good to hear it said again."