Rhyhorn

"What's that Rhyhorn doing wandering around town?" the tour guide asked, momentarily distracted by the Pokemon standing outside.

"Leave it be," one of the men in the group said. Others in the tour group frowned or tried to get distracted with something else. This guy was annoying. "The Pokemon ought to be free to go where it will."

"There's a city law on safety that says the wild Rhyhorn to be kept away from town," the tour guide said.

"It's pointless discrimination!" the man said. "It's a sign of the times when the laws encourage such restriction of rights and freedoms."

"Let's not get into that," the guide said, doing her best to remain civil. "Moving on... here, we have one of the more curious artifacts the museum has: the Crown of Uxie. Despite the name may suggest, it was given as a gift to a man long ago by the legendary Pokemon Uxie. It has the power to bestow the power of mind reading while it is being worn. While we have it, it is normally turned inactive when on display like this. It is only allowed to be used after a careful application and review process, to make sure that it is not used for abuse."

"No, you keep it locked up so that people can't find the truth with it," the annoying man said. "You're just playing into the hands of the ancient conspiracy that rules the world. That treasure would lay everything bare, even the truth that Pokemon are just as capable as humans."

"Actually, we recommend that it's not used to read the minds of most Pokemon because," the guide said, going with her usual answer for the question.

But this was the usual tourist. "Forget it, you're just as speciesist as all the other drones out there."

"Shut up," one of the other men in the group said.

It took asking the conspiracy theorist to leave the museum to get things to settle down, although he ranted all the way out. But he had confirmed what he wanted to know. With the information on where the crown was, he went back to his hotel room and put on a disguise of a fake mustache and a wig. Then he returned to the museum, paid for another entry ticket (with much grumbling about their greed), and went up alone to cut the security wires to the display and take the Crown of Uxie.

When he got back out, he looked over his treasure with pride. It looked simple, just a basic gold crown set with blue sapphires. But from his research, he knew that the only thing they did to make it 'inactive' was to undo a connection in part of the gold braiding. He snapped it back together, then looked around for a target mind to read.

Fortunately, the lone Rhyhorn was still standing around outside of the museum, just chewing its cud. That would be a good place to start. He put the crown on then focused on the Rhyhorn. Their minds linked instantly.

…

There's an interesting rock there. It's black with green flecks and shaped like a squashed eye. I don't know what to do with it, but it's interesting. The other rocks here are black and brown and white, not green. Maybe I can knock it around with my horn. But it's small. Better to knock around larger things. I'm eating.

Humans are walking around me. They're colorful creatures, all of them different. Although that one in pink and white with the big thing on its head might be a Pokemon. Sometimes its hard to tell the difference. There's a human poking my side, saying something to me. It's nice to have attention. I'm eating.

It's a good day. The sunshine is warm and the grass is delicious. I'm happy. I can stand here all day and be happy. The human is pushing me now. He must be friendly. I'm eating.

There's an interesting rock here. I haven't seen many like it. It's black with green flecks and shaped like a squashed eye. Squashing eyes sounds unpleasant. I'd rather think of good things on a good day. The green in the rock is pretty. The other rocks here are black and brown and white. It would be nicer with more colors, like the humans. I'm eating.

It's a good day.

The human has brought out another Pokemon. It's yelling at me. I don't know why it'd be mad. It's a good day and I'm just standing here eating. It hits me in the face with a blast of water. I don't like that. It's mean to be so rude, especially when water hurts like that. I give a snort then charge at the other Pokemon. I go right over him. I'm running.

I thought they were being nice, but they went and hurt me. I'd rather not stick around for that. I'll just run. That sounds good for a nice day. The ground in this place is nice and flat. There are lots of things to avoid, but I can run a long ways here. I'm running.

This is good. But I'm thirsty. There should be some water around to drink somewhere. There is always water to drink around. As long as it's not water to attack, water is good. I will find water. I'm running.

It's a nice day to run. I don't remember why I started running but I am now. Not that it matters. I'm a good runner. It's good to run. I'm running.

WHAM! Why did I stop? Why is there lots of rock and glass and stuff falling around me? I was running. Oh, a building stopped me. The building is falling down now. That was a dumb place to put a building, right in the way of my running path. I hope the people here aren't hurt much. The falling building doesn't hurt me. My horn is bumped from hitting the building, but it is fine.

It would be a nice day if it wasn't for the dust and falling building. I will go somewhere else to do something. I'm thirsty. I'll go to find water to drink. Water is good as long as it's not water to attack. I'm walking.

…

The conspiracy theorist thief was caught while he was caught up in the mind of a Rhyhorn. While the trial was delayed due to the thief's temporary inability to form any thoughts besides simple observations, he was unanimously found guilty and sentenced with jail time and psychotherapy. The Crown of Uxie was deactivated and put back on display the day after it had been stolen.

The twelve-story tall Beech Tree Living building was completely demolished, destroying over thirty apartments. Fortunately, the building had been condemned and the accident had simply saved the owners some money. A few people were injured, but none died. In response, the city council put out a public announcement reminding everyone of the Pokemon safety laws which were in place to prevent tragedies like this could have been.

The Rhyhorn was captured at a city park, where it was calmly drinking from a pond. It was shipped to a Safari Zone, where it was caught by a young Trainer. Eventually, it became a renown Pokemon listed in the Hall of Fame for its many victories.

…

Rhyhorn Fire Red entry: Strong, but not too bright, this Pokemon can even shatter skyscrapers with its charging tackles.

For the fifth day of Christmas... a story about, uh, wrecking stuff. Because between all the tragic and saccharine holiday tales out there, it's good to giggle at destruction occasionally.