The Long And Winding Road
Notes: The usual disclaimers apply, and remember that all episodes that came after "This Charming Man" aren't canon in this story. Special thanks to those who have left feedback. It is always appreciated.
Chapter 53 - Sitting In Limbo
On this warm summer evening, Liberty sat quietly in her boyfriend's backyard. Patrick sat in a chair beside her, alternating between eating his hamburger and talking. She, however, said very little and had so far only eaten a few bites. Her mind was elsewhere.
She couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong, though she had no guesses as to what the problem could be. Whatever it was, she felt that it must have something to do with the phone call. Manny's unexpected and uncharacteristic call to her. The call Patrick answered in her place and then assured her that it was not a big deal.
Liberty finally stood up, placed her plate down in her chair and then excused herself. As she went back inside the house, Patrick assumed she was taking a bathroom break. This was a mistaken assumption.
Once inside the kitchen, she pulled the phone from her purse, which still sat on the table. She knew there was no reason for Patrick to keep anything from her, and yet she felt certain that his conversation with Manny was related to – if not the direct cause of – his subsequent behavior. She trusted her boyfriend, but she trusted her instincts even more.
Meanwhile, Emma sat in the hospital waiting room, her mother and Snake sitting beside her. With each passing minute, she felt more and more anxious.
"If we don't hear some news soon, I think I'm going to go out of my mind," Emma declared.
"Em, I know from my own experiences in this hospital that the doctors are very thorough," Snake said. "And the more thorough they are, the longer it can take before they're done. That's good for the patients, but difficult for those left waiting."
"While we're waiting," Spike offered, "is there anyone else you think should be called…anyone else who might want to be here right now?"
"Let's see," Emma considered. "Manny told me that Liberty's on her way. I'm sure Spinner Mason's going to stop by after he's gotten things under control at the theater. Craig's away for a couple of days on some photo shoot or I'd have called him. Oh, what did you tell Jack?"
"Only that JT wasn't feeling well and that we were leaving so that we could check on him," Spike answered. "Nothing about the hospital."
Emma could no longer remain seated. She stood up and walked toward the open doorway. A slight smile developed on her face.
"You know…there was this one night last Fall. JT and I had been an official couple for only a couple of weeks, and he took me out for this big romantic evening. It's right up there as one of the best nights of my life. Anyway, everything was going great. But there came a point in the midst of our dinner conversation when I admitted to him that I was a little worried that he'd eventually get bored with me."
"Impossible," Snake said.
"But because we've known each other forever, I was afraid we'd run out of things to say to each other. Things to discover about one another. JT quickly convinced me that I didn't have a thing to worry about. And he was right.
"That's not to say things have been great every minute. You know we've had our share of ups and downs just like anybody, but we've never gotten bored with one another or run out of things to say. And the love…that just keeps on growing."
Emma's smile then disappeared.
"I guess I thought back to that conversation because…Right now, I keep thinking of so many more things I want to say to JT. There are so many more things still out there for us to do. So many wonderful moments – both talkative and quiet – still to share. The possibilities are infinite. He just has to get through this."
Spike started to get up from her seat, intending to walk over and hug her daughter, but Emma put her hand up.
"No," Emma said, again trying to sound calm. "Stay there. I'm okay. Or rather, I will be. I'm going to check at the front desk. Maybe this time they'll have something new to tell me."
Emma left the room, leaving Spike and Snake alone.
"She's trying so hard to maintain her composure," Snake commented. "Her sense of control in the midst of an uncontrollable situation."
"I know," Spike agreed. "She's determined to be strong enough for the both of them."
"Emma gets that strong will from her mother," Snake said before leaning over to give his wife a brief kiss on the cheek. "You were the same way back when I found out about the cancer. Strong and reassuring."
"And trying not to let it show how much the situation was tearing me apart on the inside," Spike added. "I also know that, even though what happened tonight was out of her hands, Emma's feeling a certain amount of guilt. Wondering if there's something she could have done that would have prevented what happened."
"She shouldn't," Snake responded.
"Just like I shouldn't have had those thoughts a few years ago…wondering if there were warning signs I missed. Signs I could have spotted early enough so that maybe you wouldn't have had to go through what you went through. Archie, intellectually I knew better, just as Emma knows better. But we're talking about the heart."
"She'll be okay, Christine. They both will. And another thing I know for certain is that the Nelson women are top-notch caregivers. So JT's going to be in good hands with Emma once he's able to get out of here."
Elsewhere in the hospital, Manny walked into the cafeteria and soon saw Sean sitting alone in a booth in the back of the room. She slowly made her way toward the table. From the lack of a plate or cup on his table, she knew Sean hadn't come here for a snack.
"Hi," she greeted.
"Any news?" Sean asked, continuing to stare straight ahead rather than turn to look up at Manny.
"Nothing yet. Emma's parents got here a few minutes ago, so I thought I'd look around. See where you'd wandered off to."
"Sorry. I was going to come back sooner. I just needed to get out of there for awhile. Find someplace quiet to sit and think."
"Oh," Manny said, starting to turn away. "Well, I can go back if…"
"No," he interrupted. "Don't go."
Manny then sat down beside him on the same side of the booth. She felt like wrapping her arms around him and giving him a big hug, but she knew that wasn't the sort of thing he would want right now. Instead, she simply placed her right hand on his left shoulder. A smaller gesture, but one that could let him know she was there for him but wasn't trying to smother him.
"They have this little chapel room on the second floor," Sean told her. "I could have gone there for someplace quiet, but…Me? In a place like that? I think we have enough to worry about tonight without a lightning bolt crashing through the building."
"Sean, don't forget what you said to Emma when she and I first arrived. JT's going to be fine."
"Yeah. And if I keep thinking that, maybe I'll even convince myself. Manny, he looked white as death when we got here."
"But don't forget, Sean…JT's stubborn. He's not going anywhere."
Sean didn't respond, so the couple sat quietly for a moment.
"I don't think I'm the kind of person who's supposed to have a best friend," Sean then said, catching Manny by surprise.
"What?"
"Look at my record. Jay was my best friend for awhile. Nothing good ever came out of that. I finally dropped him, but he's still there, never wanting me to live down the past.
"And then JT…once he felt sure he could trust me, we became friends. And it wasn't long before it was obvious that he'd become the closest friend I've got. And look what I've done. Not friends with me a full year yet and this happens."
"You know better than that," Manny responded. "What's happened tonight is all on Jay. Not you. Just because the two of you have a history doesn't mean you're responsible for what he decided to do to JT. And if you still aren't sure, I'll bet you anything that JT will tell you the same thing."
Sean finally turned his head and looked at Manny.
"You know how much I wanted to go after him tonight. No cops. No courts. Just take care of Jay myself."
"I know," she replied. "Just what Jay probably hoped you'd try to do. I also know that, instead, you chose to help take care of JT. Because that's who you are. If that doesn't prove to you that you know what matters most…"
"Yeah," Sean replied, knowing she was right even though he still had feelings of guilt.
"Me, JT, Em, Craig, the people you work with at the shop…we know what kind of person you are, Sean. So if you ever start doubting it, just ask one of us."
Again there was a brief period of silence.
"Thanks Manny. You know, for coming to look for me."
"Glad I found you, Sean."
Just then, Manny's cell phone rang.
"Hello?" she answered once she grabbed the phone from her purse. "Hi Liberty. I'm surprised you're not here yet."
"Where would that be?" Liberty asked, standing in Patrick's kitchen.
"Here at the hospital."
"The hospital?" Liberty became more confused and more curious.
"Didn't Patrick tell you?" Manny questioned.
"Tell me what?" Liberty grew alarmed.
Her back to the door, Liberty listened in shock while Manny quickly described the events of the evening. Thus, she didn't notice that Patrick had come in from the backyard. He stood listening at the door, feeling a mixture of both guilt and annoyance.
"I had no idea," Liberty told Manny. "Listen, I'm on my way. Also…thank you for trying to contact me before, Manny. I appreciate the effort."
After the conversation ended, Liberty set the phone back in her purse. She then took off her glasses and eased into a chair next to the table. She planned to leave, but first she needed a moment to wrap her mind around the enormity of the information she'd just received.
"You didn't have to call her back," Patrick said, startling Liberty.
Stunned over what she'd just learned about JT, Liberty hadn't yet thought about the fact that Patrick had been keeping this information from her…until she heard his voice. This was something else she couldn't fathom. She refused to turn her head to look at him.
"I came in to get us a couple more Cokes and couldn't help overhearing," he explained. "I was going to tell you. Later. When it felt like the right time. Remember that I told you I had some news."
"Some news?" Liberty said loudly, putting her glasses back on. "That's what you call something so horrifying? That's what you call something you MUST have known I would want to hear about immediately if not sooner?"
"I knew this would be upsetting, Liberty. But there's nothing you can do about the situation over at the hospital – other than get yourself all worked up over something that I'm sure is ultimately going to turn out all right. So it seemed like a good idea to let you enjoy our meal. Once we'd had a nice, relaxing time together, THEN I was going to break the news."
Liberty finally turned around in her chair to look at Patrick.
"Aren't I lucky to have such a caring boyfriend?" she said snidely.
"If anyone has the right to be annoyed right now, it should be me," Patrick then said. "I can't believe you didn't trust me enough to tell you what I was going to tell you in my own time. That you snuck in here and called Manny behind my back. That's really disappointing, Liberty."
"You're accusing me – with a straight face – of not trusting you after what you've just done? I don't believe this."
"Look," Patrick said, "let me grab my keys and we'll go on over there. You get your way, Liberty. Problem solved."
"We aren't going anywhere, Patrick," she proclaimed as she rose from her chair. "I'm going alone."
"He's my friend too," he responded, growing angry, "even though I'm sure you wish you had the monopoly on his friendship."
"Go to the hospital if you want," she told him, "but we are not going there together. Also, if you do decide to show up, stay out of my way."
"This is silly, Liberty. You don't want to deal with something like this on your own."
"I could if I had to, but I won't be alone. Others who are close to JT will be there as well."
Patrick walked up to Liberty and put his arm around her.
"Liberty, if you would take a minute to calm down, you'd see that I was only trying to help you. Trying to ease you into this situation. Look how hysterical you are already and you're not even at the hospital yet."
"Patrick, I suggest you promptly remove your arm from my person. Otherwise, I'll remove it, and I guarantee that my method will bring you a great deal of pain."
"Fine," he said, removing his arm from around her. "Go to the hospital alone. Feed your ego."
"Ego?" she asked incredulously.
"You probably think your presence will instantly help JT in ways that trained medical professionals can't."
"There are so many things I'd like to say to you at this moment, Patrick Ryan, but you can wait. Right now I'm needed elsewhere."
"Needed?" Patrick demanded. "By who? JT? He's got the hospital staff to help him. For anything else, he's got Emma. If Emma needs help right now, she's got Manny. And Manny has that thug boyfriend of hers. So what are you expecting to do once you're there? Liberty…right here – with me – is where you're needed. Wanted."
For a moment, she stood still and said nothing.
"Goodbye, Patrick," Liberty finally said before grabbing her purse and preparing to leave.
"Dammit Liberty!" he shouted, causing her to stop walking out of the kitchen. "This was supposed to be an evening just for us. Is there ever going to be a time when I come first in your life and not this friendship you have with a guy who's never cared about you the way that I do?"
"You're absolutely correct," Liberty said without turning around. "JT's never cared about me in exactly the same way that you've shown you care about me. He never would."
Patrick smiled upon hearing this.
"And that's why he's my best friend, and you…you're simply pathetic," she added before walking out of the room.
Patrick, no longer smiling, was left standing alone in the kitchen. He soon heard the sound of Liberty leaving through the front door and, moments later, the sound of her car backing out of the driveway. He couldn't understand how things had gotten so far out of hand.
Back at the hospital, Emma remained outside of the waiting room, pacing back and forth near the front desk. Soon, a doctor came over from down the hall and handed a chart to the nurse behind the desk. The woman, in turn, pointed the doctor toward Emma.
"I understand you're here for Mr. Yorke?" he asked as he walked toward Emma.
Emma stopped pacing and looked up at the doctor.
"Yes," she answered quickly. "JT's with me. How is he, doctor?"
"Mr. Yorke is in stable condition."
Emma let out a heavy sigh of relief and started to smile.
"That…that's terrific. Thank you, doctor. Thank you so much. Is he ready? Can I take him home now?"
"Not tonight," the doctor replied.
She looked at the man for a moment, then decided that he just needed reassurance from her that JT would be all right leaving with her.
"Well, I know I'm not a nurse, but I assure you I can do an excellent job when it comes to taking care of JT."
"Miss…"
"Tell me what he needs and I can take care of it," she continued, growing more anxious and not giving the doctor a chance to speak. "I'll make sure he gets plenty of rest. Not the easiest task, because he's such an energetic guy. But I'll make sure he rests, even if I have to sit on his legs to keep him from getting up."
"You don't understand," he again tried to tell her.
"No, just tell me what I need to do for him," she said in a tone of growing desperation.
"Miss, what I need you to do right now is remain calm so I can explain the situation."
This time, Emma said nothing further.
"Now," the doctor continued, "as I said, Mr. Yorke's condition is stable and, frankly, he's lucky to be alive."
Emma listened intently as the doctor explained what went on in the ER. Save for a few head nods and 'I see' replies, she remained silent. Soon, Manny and Sean noticed the pair as they were making their way back and intending to return to the waiting room. As they came closer, the doctor left, having finished his conversation with Emma.
"Em?" Manny called to her.
Emma remained still and non-responsive, so Manny moved even closer.
"Emma?" she tried again.
This time Emma turned her head slowly and looked at Manny.
"What did the doctor have to say?"
"Let's go back to the room," Emma answered. "That way I can tell all of you at one time."
The three friends walked back into the waiting room. Sean and Manny sat down but Emma continued to stand.
"Did you find out anything?" Snake asked.
Emma nodded. She then took a deep breath before she felt ready to speak.
"First of all," she began, "JT's alive, and he's going to be all right."
That statement brought huge relief to the four people seated in the room.
"But it was touch and go for awhile," Emma explained. "He lost a lot of blood before he even got here, plus there was also some internal bleeding. The doctor said that soon after JT got here and they had him on the table, he…Coded? I think that was the term. He just…stopped."
Emma felt a tear forming, but wiped it from her left eye. She knew JT would be all right and so she was determined to get through this explanation without breaking down.
"But they used those paddles," she continued, "and right away his heart rhythm was back and there were no more incidents like that.
"The two knife wounds went deep but didn't puncture any of the vital organs. The doctor did say that the knife just barely missed hitting the intestines. Just a slight difference in where the knife went in and…and that would have been enough to…that would have been that."
Emma had to pause again. She stopped trying to make eye contact with the others and focused her eyes on the floor.
"Anyway, they stopped the bleeding," she resumed. "Cleaned the wounds. They didn't see any sign of infection. He's stitched up. But they're going to keep him here, at least overnight. They want to monitor his condition."
"Is he awake?" Manny asked.
"He was, but now he's resting. They're giving him something to help ease the pain. He's also hooked up to an IV for the time being. But the doctor said I could see him in a little while. Right now, they're getting him set up in a room."
"This really is good news, Emma," Spike said. "Even with the close calls. And it's a positive sign that the doctors feel comfortable enough about his condition right now to put him in a room rather than hold him in Intensive Care."
"I know, Mom. I'll just feel more certain about everything once I see him. Then I'll be able to see for myself that he's okay. To think that he almost…"
"You can't think about that," Sean finally spoke up. "And you can't let JT think about it either. The main thing is that the 'almost' didn't happen. He made it. That's what counts."
"The worst is over now, Em," Manny added. "So I want you to come sit over here and try to relax."
"Sitting I can do," Emma responded. "Relaxing isn't going to happen until I'm with JT."
Later on, after the staff had gotten JT settled into a room on the third floor, Emma was notified that she could go in and see him. She stood at his doorway and looked in. She could see JT lying in bed. The light was on, but he appeared to be sleeping. She then noticed the IV to his left. Even though she knew it was vital, seeing it connected to JT still made her shudder.
She then entered the room. Part of her wanted to run over to him, climb onto his bed and hold him tightly, shouting out about her love for him and her plan to never let go of him. Common sense won out, however, as she knew that holding him could be very painful to him right now, while shouting would get her kicked out of the room. Instead, she saw a chair in the corner nearest the door. She grabbed it and placed it near the bed on his right side.
Emma sat down and looked at JT. She thought he looked so peaceful there, his eyes closed and his breathing normal. She had so much she wanted to say, but for now she was thankful just to be able to watch him.
She reached out with her left hand and gently took hold of JT's right hand. Leaning down, she kissed the inside of his hand, then united it with her own right hand. They were always holding hands, but this time Emma had never been more thankful for the opportunity. Then she leaned her head so that her right cheek rested on the back of his hand as she looked over at his face.
As Emma sat like this, watching over the man she loved, it finally happened. The tears she had fought back all evening could no longer be contained. She finally began to cry. Tears for the assault upon JT. Tears for the pain he felt. Tears for how close to death he'd come. Tears for the fact that she had been unable to prevent any of this from happening. And mixed in were tears of joy for his survival.
"I love you so much," she eventually said in a soft voice. "So very much. When I think about what happened…And when I think about what ALMOST happened…"
She couldn't say anything else. In silence, she continued to watch him, their hands still connected.
After awhile, Emma suddenly felt his hand give hers a slight squeeze. It was just barely noticeable and Emma thought she might have imagined it. However, a few seconds later she again felt the squeezing of her hand. Moments after this, JT slowly opened his eyes. He then made a light groaning sound. He turned his head slightly to his right and saw Emma looking at him.
"Hello there," Emma said, raising her head up and now feeling further relieved.
"Hi angel," JT responded with a weak voice.
Upon hearing his voice, Emma was overjoyed and gave his hand a squeeze in return.
"Don't know why I fell asleep like that," he continued. "I was trying to stay awake for when you got here."
"It's okay, Jamie. The doctor said you'd be resting."
"Emma…"
"What is it?" she asked after again kissing his hand.
"About pizza tonight…I think I'm gonna be a little late."
This made Emma smile.
"But don't worry," he added, his voice still not very strong. "I've got a pretty good excuse."