A/N: School is back once again, bringing with it lack of time to write and motivation to do stuff, so the wait between chapters will be longer again. I'll do my best to update quickly, of course, but I'm only human.
Leonard stepped into the waiting room, fiddling with the too-long sleeves of the hospital uniform a nurse had found for him. Aurelan was sitting in a chair and reading a magazine, a small stack of magazines on the seat beside her. Winona was pacing in front of her, her arms wrapped around herself. When they heard the door, though, Aurelan dropped her magazine and Winona whirled around and froze in place. Leonard held up a hand to forestall their questions.
"He'll be fine, and yes, you can see him now."
They didn't hesitate to follow him out of the room. "What was it?" Aurelan asked.
"Acute pancreatitis. Basically, his digestive enzymes activated before they were released into the small intestine and so attacked his pancreas instead, which caused a sudden inflammation."
"Ow," Aurelan murmured sympathetically.
"Trust me, he got lucky. There are two forms of pancreatitis: acute and chronic. While acute is milder, severe cases can cause bleeding into the gland, tissue damage, infection, cyst formation, and damage to the heart, lungs, and kidneys. That's why it took so long – I was being as thorough as possible to make sure none of that had happened."
"Did it?" Winona checked.
"As far as I can tell, no. He'll be stuck here for a couple days at least, though, both for monitoring and treatment."
"What treatment?" Winona asked.
"Just some pain meds and IV fluids – pancreatitis can cause some dehydration. And his fever's still gotta go down, but otherwise it's just precautionary. And his room is… here," he said, pausing to hold the door open for them.
The room wasn't too different from to the one Jim had stayed at after Khan, but smaller. Three visitor's chairs were shoved against the back wall beside the door, opposite the biobed's wall, which was situated next to the room's only window. Jim's readings were displayed on a panel to the right of the biobed. The area to the left of the bed was clear for any extra equipment a potential emergency would call for, or for visitors to sit beside the patient.
Jim lay on the bed, out cold as he slept off a sedative. A needle in his right hand fed him fluids, and one in the inside of his left elbow gave him pain medication. As Winona instantly picked up Jim's free hand, Leonard went up to check the readings. Jim's temperature had dropped another tenth of a degree, finally bringing him under 101.
"When will he wake up?" Aurelan wondered.
Leonard shrugged. "It wasn't a very heavy sedative, but Jim's reactions have always been a bit unpredictable. But it will probably be a few hours yet, at least."
"So we could talk, then?" Winona broached after a moment.
Leonard turned around warily. Both women had pulled up chairs and sat down beside Jim, Aurelan by his head, smoothing his hair, and Winona further down so she could hold his hand without disturbing the IV. "About what?"
"Jim," Aurelan answered.
"What about Jim?"
"Well, we came up with a theory as to why Sam hates him," Winona began. "We think Sam loves the little kid he knew, but once he saw Jim's first interview…"
"He became disillusioned. I can see a couple holes there," he said, thinking of Jim's memories of his childhood, "but it works well enough. What do you want to do with this theory?"
Aurelan took up the explanation. "We figured that, if Sam could get even a glimpse of the Jim he grew up with, then he would at least soften up a bit."
Leonard glanced down at Jim, sleeping peacefully, his troubles temporarily forgotten. "Do you have any evidence to support that belief?"
I sound like the hobgoblin.
"Well, when Jim collapsed, Sam got almost protective," Winona told him.
Leonard snorted. "Yeah, an injured Jim would certainly spark childhood memories."
Winona winced, squeezing Jim's hand tighter, while Aurelan glanced between them in confusion. "What?"
"She doesn't know?"
"It's not exactly something Sam and I like to talk about," Winona pointed out.
"What don't you talk about?" Aurelan demanded.
Leonard patted Jim's shoulder. "Let Jim tell you later, all right?"
Aurelan nodded and leaned back, looking entirely dissatisfied but still resigning herself to wait.
"So, what, you guys want to somehow push aside everything Jim has become over the last eighteen years so Sam realizes it's the same person?"
Aurelan intently studied Jim's eyes for signs of waking. "That's the gist of it."
Leonard pulled a chair around and dropped into it. "Do you even realize how impossible that's gonna be? I know you barely know him, but eighteen years."
Winona ran a hand through her hair. "I know. I know, but their adult personalities don't exactly get along, do they?"
"And that's never going to change if we strip away everything Jim has become," Leonard countered.
Aurelan looked at him. "I'm not saying we do it permanently – that wouldn't do anyone any good. But if Sam gets a glimpse of some personality trait he remembers Jim having…"
"All right," Leonard conceded. "Uh, what was Jim like as a kid?"
Winona closed her eyes to think. "Perfect grades, did everything he was told, really sweet. Young and innocent, like any little kid."
Leonard pinched the bridge of his nose. "So, the complete opposite of what he is now."
"Well, he looks kind of sweet right now," Aurelan observed.
"Nope," Leonard said. "He looks peaceful. Sweet, innocent Jim exists only when he really, really wants something. Or when children are around."
"I've got kids," Aurelan pointed out.
"Jane wants to have a tea party with them anyway," Winona added, straightening up.
"If they have the tea party in the hospital-" Aurelan started.
"Perfect," Winona agreed.
"Hold on a second. We're going to use both a six-year-old girl and Jim's condition against Sam?" Leonard checked.
Aurelan and Winona exchanged a somewhat sheepish glance. "When you put it that way..."
"I like it," Leonard announced, even as he patted Jim's forehead and thought Sorry, kid.
Jim didn't react, oblivious to the plot being discussed over his sleeping body.
-LLAP-
The sun gradually sank towards the horizon. Visiting hours were technically over, but Leonard had managed to convince the hospital to let them stay, in exchange for promising to help with some of the more difficult to treat patients, so he was out making rounds. Winona had tried to stay awake, but the stress of her sons' antagonistic relationship had caught up with her, and she had ended up fast asleep slumped against the bed, her hand still wrapped around Jim's, her head resting on his thigh. Aurelan remained in her seat by Jim's shoulder, alternating between watching him for signs of consciousness and watching the sun sink lower – the clouds were beginning to take on a golden tinge, signaling the preparation of a striking sunset.
But that was a while off yet, so she returned her attention to Jim. His face was peaceful, more relaxed than she'd ever seen it. Of course, that was probably because he wasn't caught in the middle of a relaxing situation, but regardless, it was a nice change; peace looked good on him. He looked like the young man he was instead of someone a decade older with the weight of the galaxy resting on his shoulders. With the sun's light casting a golden glow on his face, he looked…
Young. He looks young.
And that's exactly what we need.
She shook Winona, who stirred with a yawn. "What…" Abruptly remembering where she was, she lifted her head and squinted at Jim's face, blinking away sleep. "Is he…?"
"No, and at the moment, I don't want him that way," Aurelan replied.
Winona looked at her like she'd grown a second head. "What?"
"Look at his face," Aurelan ordered. After giving her a few moments to do so, she continued. "Look how peaceful he looks, how innocent, how young. And those last two things are pretty much what we want to show Sam, right?"
"And…?" Winona prodded, nodding slowly.
"So maybe we don't have to wait for him to be well enough for one of Jane's tea parties."
Comprehension sparked to life in Winona's tired brown eyes. "Brilliant."
Aurelan stood. "I'll go get Sam."
But Winona stood too, shaking her head. "No, I should."
"But you know little Jim," Aurelan pointed out.
"Which is the problem," Winona countered. "Sam knows that I'll never see him as anything but my baby boy, whether I see him sleeping or starting bar brawls, and that's hardly going to do anything to convince him that his little brother is the same person lying on that biobed. You, on the other hand, only know him as an adult, so if you see the little kid in Jim, then Sam will too."
Aurelan couldn't deny the logic, but… "You know that, whichever one of us leaves, they have to stay home with the kids."
"And if he wakes up while I'm gone… I know," Winona sighed. She glanced down at their joined hands, up at his face, then tore her gaze away. "It shouldn't take that long. He's still pretty out cold…"
Aurelan rested her hand on Winona and Jim's. "Just go. And if he does wake up, I'll explain – he'll understand."
"Not with this."
"Then I'll make him, ok? He's stubborn and sensitive, not unreasonable."
"Sensitive?" Winona asked dubiously.
Why do I know him better than his own family? "Yes. The whole tough guy thing is just an act, you know, at least sometimes. He really is the same little boy you knew, but everything he's done has hidden that away because it's too vulnerable. He's sweet and caring and most of all, just like anyone else in the universe, he wants to be loved. And that part of him, that hidden, precious part, is sensitive to what you and me and Sam and Leonard and his crew think of him and how you treat him. And after everything he's been through, it's just all too easy for him to clam up and push people away if they make a big enough mistake, because he just automatically assumes it was deliberate and tries to protect himself. It takes a little explaining, that's all, and then he'll happily be your son again. So go be with your grandkids – Jim'll understand. Ok?"
Winona nodded. With one last contemplative glance at her son, one last squeeze of his hand, she left.
Leonard passed her on her way out of the room. He paused in the doorway, casting a confused glance at Winona. "She was practically glued to Jim when I last saw her," he commented to Aurelan.
"I had an idea," Aurelan explained. "Can you tell the staff to let Sam in when he gets here?"
Concern flickered over Leonard's expression, his eyes darting to the prone Jim. "Sam?" he checked warily.
Hurt and anger sparked in her heart. He doesn't trust my husband.
Then a tiny voice inside whispered Would you?
Aurelan sighed. "He's not like that, Leonard."
Leonard was shaking his head before she finished the sentence. "I know. Well, I don't, but I'm guessing someone like you wouldn't love someone like that. I just don't know how Jim would react if he woke up after what happened while Sam's here. Jim's not exactly… He'll be defensive when he remembers he collapsed in front of Sam."
Aurelan narrowed her eyes. "What aren't you guys telling me about his past? Why is he so defensive and jumpy?"
"You know that you're not gonna get the full story after such a short time," Leonard pointed out.
"But there's something big that I'm missing. Something important," Aurelan insisted.
"We all feel that way, believe me," Leonard replied, walking over to check Jim's readings.
"Leonard."
He didn't look at her, focusing single-mindedly on the readings. "It's not my place-"
"Is he ever gonna tell me on his own?" Aurelan cut him off.
Leonard hesitated, then sighed, his shoulders slumping in defeat. "No, probably not."
"So tell me."
He turned to face her, stepping closer to Jim, carefully picking his words. "I'm not gonna tell you anything too specific – that's for Jim to trust you with. But I will tell you that there were two events that explain a lot about who Jim is now. They both happened when he was thirteen, and they were both horrific. The first event had three years of similar activity foreshadowing it, and the second no one saw coming but took months to finally end. They both haunt his nightmares to this day – even I have nightmares about Jim going through them, sometimes, and I'm sure Sam isn't unaffected by the first event, either."
Aurelan could practically feel her heart shattering with every word out of Leonard's mouth. No one deserved childhood memories that could be described like that, and both in the same year… She vividly remembered the world-shattering moment when she'd learned of her parents' deaths mere days after turning thirteen, and that single memory eclipsed most of that year, transforming it into a haze of grief, and she knew she'd never been the same afterwards. And that was just one event surrounded by a relatively good life. Jim had had two, surrounded by a pretty bad life.
And then there was the brief mention of Sam… "Sam has nightmares sometimes," she murmured. "And never tells me what they are."
Leonard glanced up at her. "Sounds like Jim. Nightmares, panic attacks, sickness- or drug-induced hallucinations… He never tells me. Doesn't even tell Spock, Pike, or Carol. He thinks he's protecting us, but really he's just hurting himself, and that's hurting us."
"Because you don't want him to hurt but he won't let you help."
"Yeah," Leonard agreed quietly.
The hospital intercom buzzed. "Doctor McCoy, there's a Sam Kirk here to see his wife."
"Oops," Leonard mumbled. He went up to the wall and pressed the button to answer. "Let him in. Tell him how to get to Jim Kirk's room."
"Yes, sir."
"I'm gonna go," Leonard told her.
Aurelan nodded. "All right. I'll just… wait here then."
With a quick grin, Leonard left, and Aurelan went outside of the room to wait for her husband.
When he came, he was grumbling something about stubborn hospital staff. Unable to suppress an amused smile, she waved him over.
"What am I doing here?" he asked as they stepped inside.
"Just to be with your baby brother."
"That is so chick flick."
Aurelan rolled her eyes affectionately. "It's no different than staying with me or Winona or the kids when one of us is in the hospital."
Sam shifted awkwardly. "You guys are normally more awake, though, the few times that's happened."
"So just think," Aurelan advised. "The quiet is nice."
"Think about what?"
Aurelan settled in her chair again, smoothing Jim's hair. "Family."
After a moment, Sam reluctantly sat in a chair against the wall.
He never protested staying with Jim.
A small smile danced across her face.
He cares.
Outside, the sunset glowed red and magenta, the sun glowing gold at its center.
Maybe this won't end in disaster after all.